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Aramil369
2010-06-07, 03:49 PM
my players and i are going to start a new game, but with a twist. it;s going to be funny. if we don't have to stop the session so we can stop laughing, said session was a flop.

so i want to make critical and fumble charts for said game and i came here 'cause your all awesome.

i have some ideas from someone else's fumble chart (unfortunately i was at the library when i found it or i would provide a link) stuff like fumbles:

1. Your weapon, bored of the routine, decides to stop existing.
1.5 Your weapon decides to exist again, claiming that non-existence is much more boring than existence.

2. Your worst enemy gains a level.

3. A pirate ship crashes into your character. Regardless of where your character is.

4. Your enemies pity your failure, and walk away. No one gets any experience, or any treasure. Wounds and used items, still remain however.

5. Everyone in the battle is abducted by an alien race, probed, and set back down on Earth with their memories erased. An awkward silence falls over the field. . .

(I love these next three)

6. The opponent smacks you. No damage, except for your pride.

7. The DM smacks the player. No damage, except for your pride.

8. Your pride smacks the DM. You are now the DM.

9. Your character shouts "I just lost the game." However, he doesn't know why, nor will he ever know.

10. You are teleported to the nearest tavern. The bartender doesn't say anything and just hands you a drink. On the house.

11. The McGuffin suddenly teleports in the middle of the room. The battle comes to a halt as both sides suddenly realize what has come into their midst.

12. Your weapon turns into a can of spinach. If you eat the spinach, you gain +10 strength. Now if only you could open the can. . .

13. Your character's alimony officer catches up with you.

14. ALL of your character's alimony officers catch up with you.

15. All of your character's alimony officers and wives catch up with you.

16. Your party, in embarrassment, walks away, wanting to do nothing with you anymore for the remainder of the battle.

17. Your character does the Tango de la Muerte with a dance partner. The female partner becomes pregnant. Because it is the mystery of the dance. . .

(my favorite)
18. Time stops, except for you, your weapon turns into a bear eating a beehive. He's very friendly and teaches you the "bear" necessities of life. Gain a level in Ranger.

Swordgleam
2010-06-07, 04:06 PM
If you can find a copy of Kobolds Ate My Baby! somewhere, check the fumble charts in that. They're pretty hilarious.