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amuletts
2010-06-08, 05:35 PM
What would you wish for?

Oh, you're completely free to throw in anecdotes about wishes people have made in your game and the awesome or hilarious consequences.

If you can't think of three straight away then assume you keep the rest for later.

PId6
2010-06-08, 05:40 PM
Wish 1: Something I want.
Wish 2: Something else I want.
Wish 3: Another Candle of Invocation.

Gate in another efreet and harvest those wishes.

Drakevarg
2010-06-08, 05:43 PM
Wish 1: That the miracle spell did not exist.
Wish 2: That Candles of Invocation did not exist.
Wish 3: That the wish spell did not exist.

Anxe
2010-06-08, 05:57 PM
For myself?
1. Perfect Eyesight
2. Eternal Youth
3. Immortality
Done!

In my campaign the players have yet to get access to wishes or miracles. Well they did get them once from a deck of many things, but they immediately used them to unwish some cards.

The NPCs have used wish once. The wish was that the PCs would not be able to cast dispel magic for that battle.

Wonton
2010-06-08, 06:02 PM
A 12-inch pianist? :smallbiggrin:

OracleofWuffing
2010-06-08, 06:06 PM
1. I wish for a giant sandwich.
2. I wish to become Emperor of the World.
3. I wish everything back to normal, like it was before I started wishing.

Alternatively,

1. I wish that I knew what to use my second and third wishes on so that I wouldn't regret them later on.
2. ...
3. ...

Alternatively, alternatively.

1. I wish ham sandwich. I don't wish for a ham sandwich, I don't wish to become a ham sandwich, I merely wish ham sandwich.
2. ... Assuming that the multiverse still exists, I wish for a giant sandwich.
3. I wish everything back to normal.

gallagher
2010-06-08, 06:07 PM
i would have one wish be a contingency true resurrection on the occasion that i die

a second would be for a free half minotaur template were i a melee class, which i normally am

third wish i save.

i dont have any hilarious stories off the top of my head, but once i asked for the Two weapons duct-taped together feat, and got a +1 bane wounding adamantine safe dropped on me for 10d6 damage and was then locked inside and had to have the party rogue take 20 to unlock it, where i was passed out inside for lack of oxygen, and lost 2 points of intelligence due to oxygen deprivation. but that isnt hilarious

Escheton
2010-06-08, 06:23 PM
Turning the vampire healing bloodfountain to holy water with a wish to win the fight is a funny story I once heard.

Also: I don;t do wishes. I have seen buffy, no thank you.

Pink
2010-06-08, 06:30 PM
Wish 1: That the miracle spell did not exist.
Wish 2: That Candles of Invocation did not exist.
Wish 3: That the wish spell did not exist.

But if you wished Wish out of existence, what did you use to wish the other two away?

Drakevarg
2010-06-08, 06:30 PM
But if you wished Wish out of existence, what did you use to wish the other two away?

That's why I wished them in that order. I did not wish for a retroactive nonexistance.

Starscream
2010-06-08, 06:35 PM
1) I wish there were a nymph here.
2) I wish I had a love potion.
3) I wish the nymph were very thirsty.

Kobold-Bard
2010-06-08, 06:35 PM
1. A one time use of the Epic Spellcasting Feat, regardless of pre-reqs or other limitations (so I can create and cast 1 single Epic Spell for free)
2. Make and Cast an Epic Spell called I Win.
3. Wish for a Ring of Everlasting Prestidigitation.

I once Wished for enough alcohol to satisfy an entire city after Tiamat stomped on it. Drunkeness ensued.

lsfreak
2010-06-08, 06:35 PM
1: I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.

ShneekeyTheLost
2010-06-08, 06:36 PM
Wish 1: That the miracle spell did not exist.
Wish 2: That Candles of Invocation did not exist.
Wish 3: That the wish spell did not exist.

You missed Reality Revision...

Drakevarg
2010-06-08, 06:37 PM
You missed Reality Revision...

Not Core, not my problem.

Mystic Muse
2010-06-08, 06:42 PM
Wish 1: I wish I was a great wyrm Silver dragon with 20 levels in Surrealistik's Paladin.
Wish 2: I wish I was invulnerable to all harm and that I could only die from old age.
Wish 3: I Wish that Everybody had common sense.

PId6
2010-06-08, 06:46 PM
Wish 3: I Wish that Everybody had common sense.
Waaaaaay beyond the bounds of Wish. :smallbiggrin:

Mystic Muse
2010-06-08, 06:50 PM
Waaaaaay beyond the bounds of Wish. :smallbiggrin:

Well, isn't what Psycho's wishing for way beyond the bounds of Wish too?

AstralFire
2010-06-08, 06:51 PM
1. Good health
2. Long life
3. Money

PId6
2010-06-08, 06:53 PM
Well, isn't what Psycho's wishing for way beyond the bounds of Wish too?
Not nearly to this extent. :smallwink:

Mystic Muse
2010-06-08, 06:56 PM
Not nearly to this extent. :smallwink:

Okay fine.

Wish 3: I wish High school musical did not exist. Alternatively, Carebears.

Beorn080
2010-06-08, 06:59 PM
Well, isn't what Psycho's wishing for way beyond the bounds of Wish too?

Psycho's is a bit beyond the printed listings for it, but maybe just inside the possible. Wishing everyone had common sense, I don't think every cleric casting miracle to every deity ever could grant that.

1st: A working simple formula to create a Panacea for all known and unknown diseases. Formula must be usable with current technology and contain no ingredients that would require a crime to acquire.

2nd: A very good patent lawyer.

3rd: Four briefcases, filled respectively with enough money for: a patent in America, a patent in Switzerland, a patent in Japan, and the lawyers fee for the patent lawyer.

Private-Prinny
2010-06-08, 06:59 PM
1. I wish that my wishes will not have any negative consequences for me.
2. I wish that wish #1 was applied to itself ex post facto.
3. Make me the effin' master of the universe now.

KillianHawkeye
2010-06-08, 07:38 PM
1. To crush my enemies.
2. To see them driven before me.
3. To hear the lamentation of their women.

Faleldir
2010-06-08, 08:10 PM
Can I Wish I was playing 4e?

Abd al-Azrad
2010-06-08, 08:20 PM
1. To crush my enemies.
2. To see them driven before me.
3. To hear the lamentation of their women.

Win.

It feels a shame to be boring, but I rather prefer using Wishes reactively, and in the context of what's going on around me. I can't really think of any conquering-the-world scheme that couldn't be pulled off by a clever person with the resources to acquire, say, three Wishes. I've always felt they were less "I win" buttons and more, "Oh fudgebuckets!" sorts of tools.

Tarrasque bearing down on our town? Oh how I wish he saw something shiny and distracting in the other direction!

The evil mage is Gating in a Balor? Oh how I wish he called a Solar by accident!

My archnemesis is casting Wish? Really wishing he develops a speech impediment for the next round!

Grumpy-Mcfart
2010-06-08, 08:46 PM
1: that whatever force is granting these wishes doesn't act as either a literal or jerk genie

2: perfect health (I have kidney disease (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focal_segmental_glomerulosclerosis) )

3: a full ring of three wishes


repeat ad infinitum replacing wish 2 with whatever else I want

Grommen
2010-06-08, 09:05 PM
#1 That fighters didn't suck!
#2 That Wizards did suck!
#3 People would quit argueing over it :smallfurious:

ZeroNumerous
2010-06-08, 09:08 PM
A) I wish to be a 21st level Wizard.
B) I wish for you to be free.
C) N/A.

I would then spend my time becoming ridiculously powerful and making things like...

Well...

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/dnd/mauler.jpg

Eloi
2010-06-08, 09:09 PM
1) An infinite amount of wishses.
2) The knowledge to know which wishes I should make.
3+) Whatever wishes dictated by 2).

gbprime
2010-06-08, 09:18 PM
What level am I when I get these 3 wishes?

If I'm low level, then...
1 - I wish to be given two draws from a Deck of Many Things tomorrow.
2 - I wish the first card I draw from a Deck of Many Things would be "The Sun"
3 - I wish the second card I draw from a Deck of Many Things would also be "The Sun"

So that's 100,000 XP and two useful Medium Wondrous Items. Pardon me, I just went from 3rd to 15th level, and I have some training to do... :smallamused:

Elvenoutrider
2010-06-08, 09:31 PM
I wish for more complicated grappling rules

RndmNumGen
2010-06-08, 09:40 PM
In real or a D&D campaign?

Actually, I suppose it doesn't matter. Wishes would be the same.

1) Ability to understand and speak all languages automatically.
2) At-will teleportation, including teleporting across different planes/dimensions.
3) A viewing portal I can use to examine a plane/dimension and gather metadata on it before I travel there(so I don't teleport into a volcano or a planet with a poisonous atmosphere or something equally deadly).

With those 3 things I could explore all of the different worlds/universes/etc that exist uninhibited. If it turns out that extradimensional worlds and such don't really exist... well I guess I would be disappointed, but I would know the truth at least.

Ravingdork
2010-06-08, 09:44 PM
2) At-will teleportationAs a move action and you got my wish!

gbprime
2010-06-08, 09:54 PM
I wish for more complicated grappling rules

Please. Next you'll be wishing for comprehensive magic item creation rules that work, or wishing that the guy in your gaming group who gets 6 attacks a round would stop rolling and calculating them one at a time with attack math that takes over a minute per roll.

The Glyphstone
2010-06-08, 10:01 PM
What level am I when I get these 3 wishes?

If I'm low level, then...
1 - I wish to be given two draws from a Deck of Many Things tomorrow.
2 - I wish the first card I draw from a Deck of Many Things would be "The Sun"
3 - I wish the second card I draw from a Deck of Many Things would also be "The Sun"

So that's 100,000 XP and two useful Medium Wondrous Items. Pardon me, I just went from 3rd to 15th level, and I have some training to do... :smallamused:

Let's hope whoever arbitrates your wishes doesn't notice you can't gain more than 1 level in a single 'dose' of XP. I thought there was also a rule that the DoMT couldn't be influenced by mortal magic, but I must have been wrong.

gbprime
2010-06-08, 10:35 PM
Let's hope whoever arbitrates your wishes doesn't notice you can't gain more than 1 level in a single 'dose' of XP.

Where is that stated? It certainly makes sense, but would it apply to a special circumstance XP award, as opposed to XP from a regular CR or roleplay award?


I thought there was also a rule that the DoMT couldn't be influenced by mortal magic, but I must have been wrong.

Well it's not stated in the DMG, PHB, SRD, official errata or official FAQ. Any place else it could be?

Icewraith
2010-06-09, 01:46 AM
I wish for a wish loop long enough to get a +5 inherent bonus to int, +5 inherent bonus to my casting score/str score, +5 to dex and +5 to con. After that I wish to not be hit by the DMG or have any other books hurled in the vicinity of my person, and I promise I will use the last set of three wishes only in an emergency/to reverse a tpk.

And I wish dodge and mobility were one feat. REALLY, I mean, come on...

Draconi Redfir
2010-06-09, 02:08 AM
1. i wish Goblinoids ruled the planet.
2. i wish all Goblinoids were classified as "neutral" on the good/evil axis
3. i wish the entirety of my party were now random goblinoids.


serves the jerks right for makeing fun of my 50 year old bugbear cleric who'se fur they watched burn off thanks to a fire elemental.

tordirycgoyust
2010-06-09, 02:56 AM
Three rings (hardness 100, 1000 hp) that respectively grant(as long as they are intact(ie. I don`t have to be wearing them to gain the benefits)):
1. automatically cast true resurection with no cost on the round after my death on my body.
2. Timeless Body, Immunity to mental problems linked to aging or just living a freakishly long time, and regeneration 1.
3. The ability to ignore stacking rules and magic item slot restrictions

Ossian
2010-06-09, 03:33 AM
- Wolverine's regeneration factor
- A lightsaber
- Adriana Lima

I am a bit ashamed of what I wrote, btw....

Johel
2010-06-09, 03:44 AM
For myself?
1. Perfect Eyesight
2. Eternal Youth
3. Immortality
Done!

The Effrit casts Binding on you.
You are now a floating head in a indestructible jar.
You look very youthful and can perfectly see what's going on outside of your prison.

Ingus
2010-06-09, 04:00 AM
1: that whatever force is granting these wishes doesn't act as either a literal or jerk genie

2: perfect health (I have kidney disease (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focal_segmental_glomerulosclerosis) )

3: a full ring of three wishes


repeat ad infinitum replacing wish 2 with whatever else I want

I'm surprised that noone had used the three wishes loop before :smallbiggrin:

And, for what it matters, I wish perfect health for you too.


Mine are:

1) Overpowered non-unique object 1
2) Overpowered non-unique object 2
3) Spared to undo 1 and 2 (just in case) or a permanent nondetection on me (just in case 2)

Ingus
2010-06-09, 04:04 AM
3. The ability to ignore stacking rules and magic item slot restrictions

This is fantastic. "I use my bracers of armors +8 as underpants, my ring of three wishes as boots and my greater helm of protection against mental sanity* as belt"

* No, this is not against mental insanity, stick with the text :smallbiggrin:

Cogidubnus
2010-06-09, 04:34 AM
1) I wish for a ring of djinni calling.

I mean *seriously*? Has no one else noticed how powerful this is? A 14th level character can buy this as his only item and then spend the next fortnight gleaning back all his cash from wishes. Madness!

2) Another ring of djinni calling (just in case)

3) Ditto. Because I am really careless like that. Also, it means you can chain cast wish for +5 to all stats. (over 6 days)

Yora
2010-06-09, 04:39 AM
Most of the things here can't actually be achieved by a wish spell.

Cogidubnus
2010-06-09, 05:21 AM
Most of the things here can't actually be achieved by a wish spell.

True. But Wish isn't quite as interesting as just "you have 3 wishes".

AxeD
2010-06-09, 06:14 AM
Wish 1: That the miracle spell did not exist.
Wish 2: That Candles of Invocation did not exist.
Wish 3: That the wish spell did not exist.

I'm guessing that you're a DM? :smalltongue: No, while I agree that the spell is massively misused, a quick thinking DM, or a DM who simply won't allow shenanigans can ensure that the wish and miracle spells can be used without being abused.


1: I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.

I was also thinking that when I read the original post :smallbiggrin:

The best/funniest story I can think of is in Knights of the Dinner Table when Brian managed to get a hold of 4 wishes. He ended up giving (selling) each wish to the other 3 members of his party for 10,000gp (or a similar amount).

Bob wished for a million XP. The GM ruled that that meant that he aged something like 80+ years

Dave wished for the magical scabbard to his prized sword, the DM ruled that a portal opened up in front of the party and the arch fiend who owned the scabbard appeared and practically killed the party

Sara ended up using her wish to banish the arch fiend (not before it escaped with Dave's sword)

But the best one was Brian: he had prepared, ahead of time, a written wish that went for more than a dozen pages (all one run-on sentence) that he had a para-legal friend go over to ensure it was watertight (so Brian wouldn't get pwned by the DM)


Effectively the wish made him a god and the DM couldn't do anything to prevent the wish from occuring as Brian intended it to go. The DM however managed to find a loophole by getting one of the gods Brian had pissed off previously (yet couldn't interfere with mortals) to permanently kill him.


Brian had the last laugh however, since he had a sub-clause in the wish that restored him to his previous condition in the event of his death (plus a payout of a large amount of gold)

I also remember in KODT, someone mentioning once that Sara got hold of a wish and asked for something along the lines of "world peace". The DM then wiped the entire party out of existance :smallbiggrin: (For those who don't read KODT, shame on you, the party has 3 players who commit genocide on a daily basis, sometimes for no reason what-so-ever.)

Also, one DM in the KODT universe once granted a wish to a PC. The wish granter however, was a leprechaun that was hard of hearing. The PC wished to "Escape from the tomb", the DM had the PC "Escape to the Womb", which I believe would seriously inconvience any PC. :smallbiggrin:

kestrel404
2010-06-09, 07:16 AM
I was in a game once where the central plot was: A genie has been trapped until he granted 100 people 3 wishes while they were wearing a special magical amulet that protects them from the negative consequences of their wishes.
The 100th person tricked the genie by making his 3 wishes while NOT wearing the amulet (and apparently making intelligent wishes so as not to have negative consequences), and then stealing the amulet and running away. The party is caught by this angry genie some years later, and sends us out to steal back the amulet (preferably off of the guy's corpse). In trade, he offers us each 4 wishes - one up front (while unprotected by the magical amulet), and 3 more when we get back.

I get to wish last. After a few questions about the target and what the genie knows about him, I find out that we're the same character class. So I wish for what the other guy got from his wishes.
Bam, three wishes worth of goodies from one wish. I got an extra level, a slew of new spells (I was the parties primary caster), and physical immortality.

We go out, and thanks to my extra power and some very effective anti-mage tactics, we easily defeat the bad guy.

After we get back, I wish for the power to undo what this guy had done (along with improved stats) - and because he was a high level mage and I'm a low level mage, suddenly I need access to the same level of spells he could cast - which means I'm now the same level as the BBEG was.

This was fortunately in a one-shot, or else the character would have suddenly become more powerful.

That's the only time a GM has ever given me wishes. I am now permanently banned from wishing by anyone who knows me.

Anonymouswizard
2010-06-09, 07:46 AM
Wish 1: I wish that i am allowed to wish for wishes (or "I wish that wishing for wishes was a wishible wish).

Wish 2: I wish that I had an infinate number of wishes.

Wish 3: I wish that you grant my wishes as I intend for them to be intended and not as they are literally.

Wish 4: I wish to be a wizard.

Whishes 5-26: I wish to gain a level.

Wish 27: I wish to know every spell I can cast.

Wish 28: I wish that no-one else can pull of this trick from now until the end of time while the benefits of it remain with me.

Wish 29: I wish I could perform an evil laugh.

While saving the other wishes for later: Evil Laugh.

Bharg
2010-06-09, 07:53 AM
1: Someone helping me with my Saga built.
2: Neet magic rings
3: clothing of epic quality

gbprime
2010-06-09, 08:58 AM
1) I wish for a ring of djinni calling.

I mean *seriously*? Has no one else noticed how powerful this is? A 14th level character can buy this as his only item and then spend the next fortnight gleaning back all his cash from wishes. Madness!

I would rank that one within the "using a wish to produce greater effects... but doing so is dangerous".

Balain
2010-06-09, 12:57 PM
Here are a couple wish stories.

1. We had a DM that would always make the bad wishes. So wishing for say a +5 sword. The sword would appear with the giant wielding it and he's really annoyed at us now.

2. When we were young and new to AD&D a DM allowed a player to use one wish to wish for a "book of infinite wishes" Every time the player wrote down a wish though the DM had a chance that some horrible nasty monster would show up and just attack him.

FFKonoko
2010-06-09, 05:25 PM
1. Polymorph Self at will.
2. Etherealness at will.

I like the idea of turning into stuff. Particularly flying stuff. And the going through walls thing is just neat.

3. A pocket dimension with a house, that only I or people I bring with me can reach, that is shielded from attack or scrying.

Nice to have a safe place.

Also, this list sorta works for both RL and not. =p

For Valor
2010-06-10, 12:01 AM
Staying in the boundaries of the vague guidelines for Wish, I would wish for:

1) I would wish for a wand of 50 wishes
2, 3, 4, 5, etc) I would wish for stat boosts to the max, more wands of 50 wishes when I felt like it was time, reality revisions as I pleased, and the banning of the Truenamer in any and all campaigns.

Also maybe to make all classes even, OOC, but that's impossible.

Zombieboots
2010-06-10, 12:09 AM
You have three wishies
To have three fishes.

drengnikrafe
2010-06-10, 12:12 AM
@For Valor: I believe wands don't exist for spells of that level.

In any case, if I were to wish for the things I always wanted, I suppose I would go for...
1: None of my wishes to go wrong.
2: To be able to learn anything I ever wanted to know, but not lose my respect for knowledge.
3: True love.

Drakevarg
2010-06-10, 12:27 AM
I'm guessing that you're a DM? :smalltongue: No, while I agree that the spell is massively misused, a quick thinking DM, or a DM who simply won't allow shenanigans can ensure that the wish and miracle spells can be used without being abused.

On and off. I just don't like those types of spells because I hate winning. No, seriously. Victory bores the snot out of me.


1: I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.

The genie merely says "By your command." and poofs away without further explaination.

For Valor
2010-06-10, 01:11 AM
@For Valor: I believe wands don't exist for spells of that level.

I don't believe there is a cap on the level of a spell you can cast from a wand. And even if there was, I'd throw it on a staff.

Grumpy-Mcfart
2010-06-10, 04:06 AM
The genie merely says "By your command." and poofs away without further explaination.

in which case he grants your wish, which means he didn't grant your wish, which mean he did, which means he didn't. cue whichever deity is in charge of this sort of thing going insane and eradicating all of existence

molten_dragon
2010-06-10, 05:25 AM
A year or so ago I had a guy in the party who was clearly an over-the-top powergamer. He was causing some problems and we didn't really get along with him too well, but it wasn't to the point where we were ready to kick him yet.

I figured something was up, because he had been saving almost all his money from first level, and sure enough, just before he got to level 6, he had enough money and bought a candle of invocation. I immediately saw where this was going, but had a fun idea, so I let him run with it. He gated in an efreet and wished for some stat increases then another candle of invocation. When he used the second one, to his surprise the same efreet came back and was not happy with him. The efreet carried him away to the city of brass and enslaved him for what he did, and it was going to be a cool adventure while the other PCs worked to free him. He apparently didn't appreciate it though, since he never came back.

amuletts
2010-06-10, 07:39 AM
1: I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.
I'm guessing the Genie says "Yeah, whatever."

tcrudisi
2010-06-10, 07:43 AM
My 3 wishes go something like this:

1) That I would stay in perfect health until I die.

2) That I could not die until I intentionally killed myself via seppuku.

3) That I had the ability to change my shape into anything that I desire, at-will.

I chose these options because it allows me to stay alive for as long as I want while being in perfect health the entire time. To really enjoy it, however, I am able to change my shape, which would allow me a whole slew of things: such as not being able to be imprisoned (provided they could even catch me), being able to seduce anyone, and pretty much being able to rise to any position of power, especially with all the time afforded me. Oh, I made a mistake? Change my shape and continue as someone else.

Grumpy-Mcfart
2010-06-10, 04:02 PM
I'm guessing the Genie says "Yeah, whatever."

I like my answer better

For Valor
2010-06-10, 06:23 PM
I like my answer better

As do I. Then again, I'm sure deities can do all sorts of things like dividing by zero and finding candlejack... oh, shi-