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Magic Myrmidon
2010-06-11, 12:28 AM
Just watched Serenity, so I'm trying to make a character a bit like her, the way she says things that seem to be full of meaning, but make no real sense.

For instance, after killing a headcrab (it's a Half-Life campaign) my character might say something like:

"You know what they say. A rose in the wild has thorns, but a rose in a bouquet is pruned."

I'm making a list ahead of time so I don't have to repeat any or try to come up with them on the spot.

Any ideas?

Roc Ness
2010-06-11, 01:44 AM
Sorry mate, I'm only good with completely irrelevant semi-nonsensical sayings.

Like Ralph Wiggum, I suppose.

OracleofWuffing
2010-06-11, 01:47 AM
Just watched Serenity, so I'm trying to make a character a bit like her, the way she says things that seem to be full of meaning, but make no real sense.

For instance, after killing a headcrab (it's a Half-Life campaign) my character might say something like:

"You know what they say. A rose in the wild has thorns, but a rose in a bouquet is pruned."

I'm making a list ahead of time so I don't have to repeat any or try to come up with them on the spot.

Any ideas?

You, sir, are looking for Groucho Marx (http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/quotes/groucho2.htm).

Dracons
2010-06-11, 01:50 AM
Go to a barber for rabbits, as they know all about Hair.

Binks
2010-06-11, 02:13 AM
Tvtropes to the rescue! There's some on this page. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IceCreamKoan)

Here's my personal favorites from there:
"God, with a sword, can make a man a king. But a king, with a sword, can only make a man a knight. A knight, with a sword, can make a man a corpse."

"When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack."

"Learn to hide your strikes from your opponent, and you will more easily strike his hide"

"He who stumbles around in darkness with a stick is blind. But he who... sticks out in darkness...is...fluorescence!"

"Life is like a grapefruit. It's sort of orangy-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have a half a one for breakfast."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"Though a candle burns in my house, there's nobody home"

"Does a bridge go over a river? Or does the river go under the bridge?"

"The goose may fly, the fox may stalk, but only the pig hunts for truffles with his nose."

"The loaf of bread that tries to twist its fate is not a loaf at all, but is, in fact, a pretzel."

"You have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself."

Keld Denar
2010-06-11, 02:20 AM
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

That is all.

NeoVid
2010-06-11, 02:41 AM
I found many good ones in comic strips. "Thanks! I never fail to disappoint!"

"If there's one thing I can never stand, it's intolerance!"

Another good person to quote would be Jimmy Snuka.

"I can break a bone out there, and I mean any part of a bone!"

Curmudgeon
2010-06-11, 02:52 AM
Given the title of Wherever You Go, There You Are (http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/0786880708), the whole book might be full of such nonsensical stuff.

Eloi
2010-06-11, 02:58 AM
"One is the loneliest number. I wonder how lonely negative numbers are..."

"It's as Roosevelt said: Be not afraid of hotness; some are born hot, some achieve hotness, and others have hotness thrust upon them."

"I'm sorry about your attempted suicide. Y'know what they say: If one fails at first to succeed, try try again. Oh wait..."

The Shadowmind
2010-06-11, 03:21 AM
I see one of my favorite Let's players in on the Ice Cream Koan list:the Non Sequitur Raocow, because that is a thing or maybe it isn't.