If it bleeds, we can be killed by it. Let's play AvP classic 2000 Predator Campaign.

[chiasaur11]

(Boss? You probably won't believe this, but the boys in translation picked this up off the hyperwave. Might explain the recent security breaches. )

We know you.

The other guys at the office, they give you guff, say you're all talk. But we both know that if it had been you in those hunts gone bad back in the day, things would have been different.

Dutch? A smear on your mighty boots.

Those idiot wannabes at the artic temple? They'd have been home in time for "Leave it to G'R'nnst"

Harrigan? Don't make me laugh.

And, needless to say, Garber would be mounted on a wall somewhere, as opposed to slaughtering his way through an entire military deployment, killing several elders, and stealing a shuttlecraft to return to his stupid prime hunting ground home planet.

But these days, only the most well known hunters are allowed to go for humans and Xenomorphs. A talented amateur like you, a once in a lifetime prodigy? You're lucky to get to hunt cattle during the weekend between all the papers you have to file. And Mulliner in accounting brags that he got a Silicoid! You'd show him.

Well, now you can! The Department of Fish, Game, and Xenomorphs has granted us a special license to allow you, the average Yautja, to hunt humans and Xenomorphs for a very affordable price.

And you don't have to take our word for it! Dozens of satisfied customers have written reviews already! Don't delay. Call today.




So, figured with so little time left I should do something I can do quick.

AvP's Predator campaign seemed to fit the bill. Wish me luck.

[Cheesegear]

AvP's Predator campaign seemed to fit the bill. Wish me luck.

Never. All the best LPs are the ones where everything goes horribly wrong.

Anyway, another chiasuar11 LP. Always fun. Make lots of references to X-Com.

[Fri]

Are you even still human anymore?

[xp194]

I checked. He gave up the last organic part of himself for assistance during the Apocalypse phase where all of his men were hospitalised...

[factotum]

So, figured with so little time left I should do something I can do quick.

Am I the only one who finds this statement kind of ominous? :smalleek:

[chiasaur11]

Are you even still human anymore?

Depends.

If Stan Sakai, the world's most punctual man, is, then definitely.

If not, maybe.

And yeah, ominous as all get out. Already had errors trying to start the thing. Should be "fun".

[chiasaur11]

BigPred1987 writes:

This package is the best!

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/PredatorIntro1.jpg

I'll admit, when I landed alone with no instructions on how to use the provided equipment, I was a bit confused. I mean, I've seen the film footage, but those wristblades are trciky tricky.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/PredatorIntro2.jpg

And it's a good thing they provided cloaking gear, or I'd have lost it when I got shot at, lol. I mean, explosives hurt!

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/PredatorIntro4.jpg

But I forgot all about the pain when I got my first big trophy! They say taking a human skull is an experience you'll never forget. They are totally right.

I'll admit, though, I wish the rest of the group had been there to see me. They seem to have wondered off somewhere. There loss, am I rite?


http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/PredatorIntro5.jpg

Weird thing, though. I found these bloodstains on the wall, and I don't remember being shot there. But I forget a lot, lol! Or maybe some of the guys went on ahead. Weird, right?

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/PredatorIntro7.jpg

And there were these big roboty thingys. Humans, M I Rite?

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/PredatorIntro8.jpg

Anyway, there was a lab nearby so I'm checking it out. Best hunt!

BigPred out!


(Just so you know, sir, I'm as embarrassed as you are by this little revelation. We'd best keep this quiet. Don't want to end up like Burke, do we?)

[Comet]

I cannot lie, I lol'd a bit.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Love the characterization of BigPred.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

I am simultaneously laughing and cringing in horror. Good job.

[chiasaur11]

BigPred here.

So I said this was the best package ever, right?

Well, it still is, but it's less the best package ever.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/AreaFiftyTwo1.jpg

For one thing? Somebody got here before I did!1!!1!

I paid to kill things, not to walk over to dead things. Best hunt and all, but dudes.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/AreaFiftyTwo2.jpg

At least I got to jump at one human and slice him up. That was cool. But there were so few guys this time, and most of them were dead already.

Not cool.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/AreaFiftyTwo4.jpg

I didn't even find any guys in the break room. Humans love break rooms, right? Then why couldn't I kill them there? lol.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/AreaFiftyTwo6.jpg

And then the had no fun to hunt stuff shoot me! I mean, hunting humans is AWESOME:smallbiggrin: but hunting gun turrets?

LAME:smallmad:

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/AreaFiftyTwo7.jpg

And I got lost. Also lame.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/AreaFiftyTwo9.jpg

So, I found the ship heading back home. Don't know why everyone else wasn't there, but I decided to leave.

Cool trip, but it needs more good trophies.

[Domochevsky]

Gotta admit, i enjoy this writing style for once. :smallsmile:

(The screenshots are way too dark against the white forum background though. >_> )

[chiasaur11]

Revised revised review.

So, I get in the ship, right?

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Recovery1.jpg

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Recovery2.jpg

And there's a disk like the pros use AND a pistol. Awesome! But then I lose the disk totally breaks or something!

Uncool.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Recovery3.jpg

And then it turns out the ship left for somewhere without any humans to hunt!

(I said minimal personnel would be a good idea on any bases studying Xenomorphs considering the risk of containment breaches, didn't I? Seems I was right.)

So I start punching the computers there. Have I said computers are sucky trophies before? Because they are sucky trophies1!11!!!!!!!!!!

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Recovery4.jpg

And then I see a Xenomorphs and I think awsome! But then it starts getting acid blood on me and I try to get a trophie and at eats my face and then I stab and it gets acid over my hand and LAME.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Recovery8.jpg

And when I try to find other aliens to hunt they look weird. It kinda looked like this jerk who was on the hunt with me which was neat.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Recovery9.jpg

He got shotted in the face! Take that alien who looks like the tourguide jerk!

You should fire toolguide jerk, by the way, hunt company. He was a jerk and ditched me and I couldn't find him.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Recovery10.jpg

But I got a trophy and got back to the ship and it sounded like things were explodining so I left.

(And that explains what happened at research facility 57B. I hate to say it, but this is really going to look bad on the shareholder reports. And it gets worse. It turns out officers of the Colonial Marines don't bribe as easy as we thought to leave their men to die. That little rat we'd been using to solve our other outbreak problems is still alive, and probably readying a lawsuit. And don't suggest assassins. The freak survived a run in with a queen. He'd probably survive a hit squad unless we'd spend more than the suit would cost us. This is going to be a mess and no mistake. And now that I mention it, knowing the reasons doesn't make me feel better. Biowarfare is not looking worth the misery.)

[chiasaur11]

BigPred again

So, get this! I get back, and they say something or other and I don't get the legal details, but I get a free hunt. FREE HUNT!!

Awesome, right?

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Prison1.jpg

So I get dropped off by myself. Less awesome?

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Prison3.jpg

This big Alien is on fire an tries to kill me! I went to hunt, not to be hunted, lol!

But I got it because i got *skills* like that.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Prison4.jpg

And then I find this big room, right? And there are switches and things?

And I hit them and walk on right?

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Prison5.jpg

And BAM a ship gets jarred loose from the seiling and I'm like whoa, I get to hunt peoples, but no. No people to hunt. LAME11!!1

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Prison6.jpg

Oh, my ride's here. LATER!

[chiasaur11]

I thought the ship was heading back home guys?

Bragging and stuff time right?

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Caverns1.jpg

Only I get dropped somewhere lots of people were but dead already!

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Caverns4.jpg

And then I saw a weird zenomorph! I shot it but there was no trophy or anything. And it shot me alot before It could be killed by me.

This sucks, lol.

(Fortunately, it seems this wasn't one of ours. Colonial Marines were guarding a hive for study. And, surprise surprise, it all went to hell, the survivors left some turrets and started bugging out. Old story. Think the preds were getting as tired of this guy as we were? Doesn't make much sense to go into a place a couple hours from being nuked. )

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/Caverns7.jpg

And then big aliens atgtacked me and my guns broke! ????

And the floor seems to be fallign or some

[Inhuman Bot]

It's not a Chiasaur LP unless the blood of foul Xenos is spilled!

[chiasaur11]

It's not a Chiasaur LP unless the blood of foul Xenos is spilled!

So, wait.

My Fallout LPs...

didn't actually exist?

Weird. I'm kinda scared now.

[Inhuman Bot]

So, wait.

My Fallout LPs...

didn't actually exist?

Weird. I'm kinda scared now.

You did Fallout 2?

But Wannimingos count, as do the aliens carrying the alien blaster.

[chiasaur11]

You did Fallout 2?

But Wannimingos count, as do the aliens carrying the alien blaster.

Yup.

And I didn't run into the Blaster aliens in either game (not enough luck).

As for the 'mingos? Genetic engineering projects, if you can believe.

(Only one Xeno in both LPs, and for bloodshed, it tends more towards cause than victim)

[Arcanoi]

So, wait.

My Fallout LPs...

didn't actually exist?

Weird. I'm kinda scared now.

If necessary, mutants and heretics can be substituted for xenos.

[chiasaur11]

Are u tring to kill me here?

DUDE UNCOOL.

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/PredatorFinal1.jpg

My guns were all brokened and it looked bad for me, lol. But I am too kool for this sort of thing and I shot the big thing and she totally died!

http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz27/chiasaur11/AvP/PredatorFinal2.jpg

I am the best! I get the

Wait. I hear a boom above. Maybe humans to hunt?

Be back later! LOL!

(And I'm pretty sure that's the end of the problem. I don't know who said it first, but they're right. A nuke from orbit? Pretty damn sure)




And that's it. Not my best work, but considering the time limitations...

Heck, it's still a little week. Sorry about that.


But here I am. 12 months. 12 LPs. Most of them at least tolerably good, a couple I'm kinda proud of. And now I suppose I'm going to take a bit of a break.

Mainly because Disgaea DS is in the mail. No way that won't eat up a ton of time.

Well, you've been a better audience than I had any right to. But here we are, one last job and out without dying horribly.

Thanks, and be seeing you.

[Comet]

I'm pretty sure that 'Cool story, bro' is the turn of phrase most appropriate for this situation.

Thanks for the fun, Chiasaur. And have fun with Disgaea, it's a pretty neat game.

[Thanatos 51-50]

/slowclap

:smallcool:

It has been a most excellent ride, Chiasaur.

[Raroy]

I think the break will be an excellent way to rediscover your lost humanity.

You monster.

[Domochevsky]

"Cool story, bro" indeed. Good third of a LP you've got here. :smallcool: