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View Full Version : My idea of how to play a Deathless-making necromancer.



DracoDei
2010-06-16, 10:46 PM
This was a forum RP. Posting it here to see what people think of the style as would relate to an actual character in a D&D campaign where the rules are enforced, and they aren't casting everything from scrolls. Note that BOTH Draco Dei AND MrBounder are two takes, and can be taken together or separately.

This is... one of the more gruesome things I have ever written, but it is without anger, cruelty, and, in fact, was designed to be roleplaying an act of kindness.
First a definition:
Deathless (noun) - If Life is +1, Death is -1, and Undeath is -i, then Deathlessness is +i. They are the Good-guy version of undead...

Then a link to what inspired me to imagine up the original mummified Deathless Badger: http://www.strangehorizons.com/2004/20040405/badger.shtml

I hope I edited this into a reasonably coherent whole. I had to go non-linear at one point, and even edited people's actions slightly, in addition to my own, to improve flow and immersion. Please PM me on IRC or here if you find any flaws.

Dramatis Personae(in order of appearance, all those marked with an (M) are played by the same person, just changing his nick and such) :
(M)Draco Dei - "Dragon of God", Gold/Radient Dragon Cross, Alternate-formed into a Large half-dragon version of himself. Moderately skilled with magic, and capable of improvising spells on the fly. Breathweapon is considered to have the [Good] alignment descriptor.

Artsi - your average shikoku inu university student; height 5'6" (average), weight 135 lbs (average), shoe size 10.5 (slightly above average). Usually wears Urban Outfitters or The Gap. Wears black rectangular glasses, which he constantly pushes back up. Loves being goofy. Usually seen with coffee or his phone.

(M)Gauss of the Greensward - Human wizard of great skill who works in a large research complex.

(M)Barnard of the Storm - Wing Dragon (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3788332&postcount=9)... 'nuff said.

Shonsu - An Awakened arctic fox who sometimes appears in a bi-pedal form wearing buckskin pants, a light cotton shirt, a leather vest and a double strapped collar with a steel ring bound in the top strap.

Robin Firedrake - RobinFiredrake is an albino dragon with a crest of horns upon his head. He walks around digitigrade, wearing a blue robe and pointed hat with silver specks. He is a world class lunaramancer and mindwalker. And if you don't know what those are, all you gotta do is ask him.

Spheniscine - Spheniscine is a White Shepherd with penguin markings: black coat, white belly, orange hindpaws and nose, and macaroni penguin eyebrows. Here's a picture: http://u.nu/474t4

Too Chaotic -

(M)Mr Bounder - Wereskunk and father of a two-year old who spends most of her time in skunk form since she is still not very skilled at bipedal locomotion.

Droo -

Duo - a physically two year old mouse cub with a love of exploring, making messes, and the game "Pretend."Beware...nomming is imminent. He can usually be found with some type of plushie, a diaper, and a small sling. His fur is a light tan shade,and he has pink eyes. Mentally he is MUCH more advanced...

Wagzbot - A Living Construct shaped like a 1 foot long otter with fairy-wings.


FROM #CFF on FoxNet:
*BEEP!*
*BEEP!*
*BEEP!*
* DracoDei goes into the storage closet and tracks down the source of the beeping.
<Artsi> Follows Draco wadisit?
* DracoDei returns with the cage containing the deathless badger.
<@DracoDei> This is a deathless badger that Gauss installed Windows 2000 on.
Deathless are the "good-guy" version of undead.
<Artsi> Goes to poke said badger
<@DracoDei> *Badger licks Artsi's finger with a dust-dry tongue... its breath smells heavily of myrrh.*
<Artsi> Oooh
It tickles...can i hold en
[15:55] <@DracoDei> Careful, I think the laptop that it runs on is giving an error message.
* DracoDei opens the laptop.
O.O
<@DracoDei> Ummm... yeah... I wouldn't mess with it right now.
<Artsi> Oh uhm *skoot skoot skoot
<@DracoDei> It probably wouldn't hurt you, and especially not badly, but... yeah, I need to call Gauss on this one.
* @DracoDei opens his cell-phone and speed-dials Gauss...
<Artsi> Yeah do that plz
<@DracoDei> Yeah, umm... I am getting an error message on that deathless badger you gave us...
Which one? Well, let me get somewhere private so I can...
What?....
yeah, that is the one...
<Artsi> .....
<@DracoDei> Err...
Uh huh?...
Yes, I understand....
Really...
Are you sure?...
Isn't that a bit extreme?...
<Artsi> Nervously looks at the badger
0.0
<@DracoDei> Well, no, I realize that it does solve several problems at once...
But I am not sure if... Well, I guess I can find some, and then let the others decide on what to do about it afterwards...
Err... yeah, I do think the smell would be a problem...
Oh... meat eating scarab beetles?... Yeah, you got any?
<Artsi> Uhm meat eating whatsit-now?!
<@DracoDei> Err... you can fax the spell over?
Oh, yeah, I guess if you have to send the beetles over anyway...
He did?...
<@DracoDei> Oh... drat... well I guess we can go ahead and pay him...
<Artsi> Wait who's he and whet did he do??
* DracoDei cups his hand over the mic...
<@DracoDei> Barnard of the Storm, and he went off half-cocked on a delivery mission for us.
<Artsi> Oh well. Never mind then hehe
*DracoDei takes his paw off the phone...
<@DracoDei> Back...
Uh huh...
<Artsi> So dish! Dish!
* DracoDei hangs up.
<@DracoDei> Well, the long and the short of it is that she is in heat.
<@DracoDei> Now, as a deathless, that doesn't work out the way it normally would...
<Artsi> Eww *skoot skoot*
<@DracoDei> A deathless male badger couldn't do anything for her in the long-term...
But there is a standard patch to let her adopt some badger cubs that have been orphaned...
<Artsi> Oh sweet I'm adopted! But I'm bit a badger. Wait what're talking about again...oooo shiny
<@DracoDei> Barnard already located an animal shelter with some and is flying them over, along with the patch-scrolls, and some of those scarab beetles.
Yeah... your adoption didn't involve... well I don't want to say that here...
<Artsi> Wait what? *hanging on the curling. Looks around* how'd I even get up here?
* DracoDei opens the door as Barnard knocks, then heads off with him...
<@DracoDei> Anyone who is curious should meet us in the <<appropriate room for this>>...
<@DracoDei> *Barnard leaves again.*
<@DracoDei> (((Well, unless other people are interested, I think we can put that particular roleplay on hold for the moment...)))
* DracoDei brings the cubs back, then goes out.
* DracoDei returns shortly with some cheap off-brand badger-formula and an appropriately sized bottle.
<FoxWolf> T.T
<@DracoDei> Sorry guys (to the cubs) but this is kinda a rare educational opportunity, so you will have to wait a little longer to be reborn...
<@DracoDei> What is it Fox Wolf?
Does anyone else want the chance to feed them?
You probably won't get a chance again...
((IS "cubs" the right word?))
You know...
At this time I am reminded of a old strip from "Robotman"... Back before it passed to a new artist, and the name change to "Robotman and Monty".
He and the human child of the family he lives with and another child are sitting around a campfire, and Robot Man is just finishing up a scary story, involving a space slug and "rattling a sonic nebulizer".
The punchline is basically that the kid enjoys Robot Man's ghost stories because they are so alien, that he doesn't figure them out until AFTER he wakes up the next morning, and it is already dawn...
So they don't scare him as much.
<@DracoDei> Shonsu: Did I offer you the chance to feed the badger-cubs?
<Shonsu> uh...
* Shonsu tilts his head
<Shonsu> no
* DracoDei holds out the bottle. "You can if you want to."
<Shonsu> no thanks
<@DracoDei> Ok, but you might not get another chance...
Just so you know.
* Shonsu is fine with that
<@DracoSemiAway> Anyone who is interested in seeing something heartwarming yet a bit gruesome should come to <<the appropriate room>> although I can't say when I will actually be starting...
<@DracoSemiAway> Also, if anyone wants to feed some orphaned baby beast badgers, now would be your last chance.
* DracoSemiAway packs the badger cubs into a cage... you can play with them again... actually, now that I think of it, it MIGHT even be possible to feed them again... if you wear the right protective gear...





FROM #CLEANVORE on FoxNet:
<DracoSemiAway> You see before you the deathless badger in her cage, with the laptop she is a peripheral for open and running on top of the cage. The laptop is plugged into the wall.
<DracoSemiAway> There is a jar of scavenging scarab beatles nearby, as well as several magic scrolls.
* RobinFiredrake headtilts. "Badger... This is rather strange."
* RobinFiredrake goes to investigate the scrolls.
<DracoSemiAway> Robin: A modified *Charm Animal* that seems like it is designed to induce love (not romantic) towards a target OTHER than the reader in multiple targets.
<RobinFiredrake> Hmm...
* RobinFiredrake looks over the bottle of scarab beetles, checking for a tag, or engraving on the bottle, or such. The more information the better.
<DracoSemiAway> They appear to be very high grade "cleaning" beetles... meant to skeletonize biological specimens...
Harmless to living creatures... and apparently deathless as well...
* RobinFiredrake tries to get near the cage, without reading from the scroll.
<DracoSemiAway> The other scrolls appear to be... very complicated white necromancy scrolls... all you can tell is that they shouldn't actually DO anything, any more than a turbo-charger would do something when not part of a car.
<RobinFiredrake> Strange little things... I wonder, though... I suppose I'll find a use soon enough.
* RobinFiredrake sits near the badger's cage, and starts to read from the scroll.
<DracoSemiAway> No!
Stop that!
Good grief...
<RobinFiredrake> What, what?
I'm sorry, I don't... I'm not good at this. x.=.x
<DracoSemiAway> We aren't ready yet, and everything has to be done in the right order.
Let me handle it. I invited you here to WATCH.
<RobinFiredrake> I'm sorry...
* RobinFiredrake hands the scroll over
<DracoSemiAway> I am sorry... it is just Gauss has given me very precise instructions, and I don't want to have to listen to him correcting me if *I* screw this up, let alone letting *YOU* mess anything up because you haven't been warned of about 10 different things that can go wrong at each stage of the process...
*** Spheniscine has joined #cleanvore
<RobinFiredrake> Okay.
<Spheniscine> Hello. :3
<RobinFiredrake> I am sorry, I didn't know. You started, telling me stuff, so... I don't know. I knew I should have learned more, first.
* RobinFiredrake sits by the fire.
* DracoSemiAway brings in the cage of orphaned badgers.
* RobinFiredrake pets the badgers gently through the bars.
<DracoSemiAway> You like them because they a cute, or because of they way their fur feels?
<RobinFiredrake> Both.
<DracoSemiAway> Hmmm... that may cause complications...
* DracoSemiAway goes and gets a small case from the storage closet....
<DracoSemiAway> Err...
<DracoSemiAway> I will simply say this: Trust me. Nothing bad is going to happen. You will see pain here, but no cruelty.
<RobinFiredrake> Okay.
* RobinFiredrake lays down, watching and waiting quietly.
* MrBounder snaps his fingers and goes and gets a large peice of sheet plastic, a mystical looking chew-toy of small size, and a container of salt.
* RobinFiredrake watches, curiously.
*** toochaotic has joined #cleanvore
* ~toochaotic glomps RobinFiredrake
<RobinFiredrake> Hello TC.
* ~toochaotic hugs tight
<MrBounder> ok...
<~toochaotic> I missed you
<RobinFiredrake> You too.
<~toochaotic> how goes?
<MrBounder> Ok...
<MrBounder> Long story short...
<MrBounder> The deathless badger (deathless = good-guy version of undead) here had a minor glitch.
<MrBounder> She is somewhere between a pet and a computer peripheral.
<MrBounder> Anyway, she went into a version of heat.
<MrBounder> We could get a male deathless badger, but since she can'
<MrBounder> t get pregnant, that would be an ongoing thing, and I don't think that would make them very child-friendly.
<MrBounder> So we are going to use a different route and let her adopt these orphaned cubs.
<MrBounder> Now for a variety of reasons, she can't really bond with them or care for them in their current form.
<MrBounder> For one thing, they aren't quite weened, and she can't produce milk exactly.
<MrBounder> So yes, technically means they are going to die, but only for a few seconds each.
*** RobinFiredrake has quit IRC: Ping timeout: 121 seconds
<MrBounder> It is important to note that since we don't want to futher complicate matters by bringing mumification into the picture, they aren't going to match her in body structure.
<Spheniscine> lol?
<MrBounder> The easiest thing would be to have her convert them into zombie parallels, but that gets a little gross... so we are going to take a middle route and go for skeletal...
<MrBounder> That would be where the beetles will come in, since after conversion all their soft tissues will only encumber them, like a heavy parka would us.
<RobinFiredrake> Hmm.
<MrBounder> Anyway, since you liked how the felt, I got an enchanted chew toy that should be able to keep them each MOSTLY occupied while I see what I can do about a quick skinning job on them before I put them in the tub for the beetles to clean up.
* RobinFiredrake nods
<MrBounder> Salt them now, and then send the skins out to be turned into the equivalent of Halloween costumes that can be put on them.
Tanned, and the cloth extensions with the velcro on them added...
* RobinFiredrake nods
* MrBounder casts the first scroll on the cubs... they all press up against the cage, trying to get to the deathless badger... one of them much less hard than the others....
* MrBounder looks carefully...
<MrBounder> Ok, they now temporarily trust her BETTER than they would if she were their real mother...
<RobinFiredrake> That's certainly good, for this.
<MrBounder> Well, this one not so much... but since it is just the one, I think we can handle that by letting him go first, so he won't get freaked out...
* RobinFiredrake nods
* MrBounder puts on heavy gloves and extracts the one the spell didn't quite work on....
* Draco Dei reads the next scroll.*
<MrBounder> Ok, and now she thinks of them as her children to be...
* MrBounder puts the cub into the cage with her.
* DeathlessBadger sniffs noses with the kit, and then licks it with a tongue as dry as dust...
* DeathlessBadger nuzzles some, then licks and nibbles at throat...
* DeathlessBadger lovingly, swiftly, and decisively bites the front of throat out...
* RobinFiredrake watches, twitching his fingers a bit, waiting for the spell to take effect.
* DeathlessBadger watches with motherly trepidation as the blood pools onto the newpapers laid in the cage for this occasion, then the cub's eyes glow dimly with a Holy light and it gets clumsily to its paws.
MrBounder enters some commands on the laptop to keep himself from losing any fingers to motherly protective instincts...
<RobinFiredrake> Hmm.
<MrBounder> Any questions?
<Spheniscine> No... X3
<RobinFiredrake> Not so far, no.
* MrBounder watches as the mother lays on her back and crosses her fore-legs in the best approximation of the Egyptian burial pose a short-legged quadruped can manage... the cub stumbles up to her and tries to snuggle...
<MrBounder> She should start lactating embalming fluid soon, so I am going to make sure her wrappings are properly arranged to allow access to her nipples...
* MrBounder puts on the gloves again and reaches in to retrieve the cub.
<RobinFiredrake> I will have to find out about deathless, soon.
* MrBounder puts the cub in the center of the plastic sheet and pins its front and back feet together to keep it from crawling off for the moment careful not to let the pins hit any bones, then gives it the toy...
<DracoDei> I am monitoring the spells... everything seems stable.
* RobinFiredrake nods, trying not to focus on the pins.
* MrBounder lines the doors to the cages up and opens them both... the rest of the cubs tumble through to get to their mother-to-be.
* ~toochaotic watches
<RobinFiredrake> gonna take a while, eh?
* MrBounder cuts down the front of the cub on the plastic, from the top of the breast bone (being very careful not to hurt the cub by scratching the bone) to a bit below the naval.
* DracoDei enters some commands on the laptop, re-activating the mother, who "awakens" and starts sniffing the cubs.
<RobinFiredrake> That is a rather interesting computer program...
<DracoDei> Actually she should be done with at least two more conversions before MrBounder has finished skinning the first one.
<DracoDei> Yes, it is an interest computer program, and an interesting spell... as I believe we said earlier, she is halfway between a pet and a computer peripheral...
<RobinFiredrake> The white necromancy scrolls instantly re-animate the bodies, correct?
* MrBounder discretely blocks his work with his body, since he suspects that people are not PARTICULARLY interested in the locations and sequences of cuts needed to skin an animal...
<SpheniscineOOC> lol
<RobinFiredrakeOOC> Heh.
<DracoDei> Close, but not exactly. They modify HER to make her capable of creating spawn. Much like a ghoul, an infectious zombie, or a vampire, she by killing and then returning to non-life... not unlife in her case of course, since she is deathless, not undead like the examples I gave are.
<RobinFiredrake> Deathless are basically immortals? That don't regenerate, obviously. Or have an immunity to getting hurt. Or, at least, dismembered.
* MrBounder apologizes to the cub and soothes it after it lets out a squawk (drawing the mother's interest). "Sorry... sorry... there there, it is all right... nice cubby... I won't try to skin your feet anymore... your toe-ese are safe... ok... ok..."
<RobinFiredrake> That's actually one of the cutest things I've seen lately.
<MrBounder> If life is positive, then death is negative on a number-line... Undeath is the negative imaginary direction....
Which makes Deathlessness the positive imaginary directions.
* RobinFiredrake nods
<Spheniscine> :P
<MrBounder> Anyway, skinning toes without hitting the bones is beyond me, even with my fingers shifted for maximum control of the scalpel, so I am just going to have to do this like a fur-coat maker, rather than like a taxidermist, and cut around the ankles.
<MrBounder> *Sound a bit like duct-tape being unrolled* Ok... skin is coming off ok... lips and eyelids are as tricky as toes, so the front of the masks on their outfits aren't going to match...
<MrBounder> Oh, drat...
<RobinFiredrake> They don't have to, perfectly. I wouldn't think, anyhow.
<MrBounder> Ummm.... Robin, could you get me some twist ties from the... no, that might not work...
Err... I should say that the front part of the hoods is going to be missing entirely...
<RobinFiredrake> Oh dear.
Ah well.
<MrBounder> Drat... Draco, I need something that is sure to survive the beetles, so we can match them to their skins so everything will fit the best...
<RobinFiredrake> Can we not use some form of magic? Or is there not a spell for that?
<DracoDei> Ok, Robin, I need to stay here to monitor the spells... let me write down the directions in the storage closet for some metal tags...
<DracoDei> There is, but I can't spare the focus to improvise like that... especially since I don't want to kill them again.
* RobinFiredrake nods
<RobinFiredrake> I'll get them, then
* MrBounder jots something down and hands it to Robin.
* RobinFiredrake looks it over, and hurries off to get the tags.
* RobinFiredrake hurries out, holding the tags. "Hammerspace. My area of expertise. Anyhow, here they are."
* RobinFiredrake hands the tags off to Draco.
*** droo has joined #cleanvore
<RobinFiredrake> Hello.
<droo> :P
* MrBounder gives the tags to Mr Bounder who puts one around a the neck-bones of the skinned cub, and the other through a slit he cuts neatly along one edge of the belly seam.
<RobinFiredrake> Err... If I may ask... What do they do?
* MrBounder salts the skin and mops up the lose entrails of the cub.
<MrBounder> What do what do?
The tags?!
* MrBounder hands the paper-towels to Draco, who elects to eat them... this being the room for that sort of thing.
* MrBounder puts the cub in a punch-bowl, and pours some beetles over it.
<RobinFiredrake> Tags, yes? No ?
<MrBounder> Droo: Since you came in late, let me simply assure you that what you are seeing is gruesome, but to the benefit of ALL involved.
<droo> MrBounder: i do clean, and less clean vore o-o so it wont affect me much
<MrBounder> The tags are just to let us match up the skins to the right skele-cubs when it comes time to "dress" them.
<RobinFiredrake> Oh, dear...
<MrBounder> *The beetles make quick work of the soft-tissues of the cub, allowing the small match-flames of white (with just a hint of blue) Holy Fire that float in its eye-sockets to be clearly seen for the first time.
<RobinFiredrake> Ooooooh, fire...
<RobinFiredrake> Oops! Look at the time! I gotta go NOW!
* ~toochaotic hugs RobinFiredrake
<RobinFiredrake> Night, everyone.
<RobinFiredrake> Love you TC.
<MrBounder> Love you Robin... I would hug you, but I wouldn't want to get blood on you...
<~toochaotic> love you too bro
<droo> :P
<RobinFiredrake> Bye all.
* RobinFiredrake walks out and closes the door behind him.
<Spheniscine> Bye.
<MrBounder> Drat... I should have used a ziploc for the skin and written the number on the front rather than make an extra cut... on well, I can ziploc the rest...
* MrBounder returns the picked-clean skeleton to its adoptive mother, where it starts to nurse... the embalming fluid flows freely from the teet... and even more freely out of the bottom of its tiny mandible onto the newspapers below...
* MrBounder puts on the heavy gloves again, and removes the three cubs that the surrogate mother turned into spawn while he was skinning the first one.
<MrBounder> Err... I don't suppose anyone wants to help me with the skinning?
* droo kinda.. rather not o.o
* MrBounder puts two of the throat-torn cubs back into the secondary cage, gives the toy to the third, and starts cutting the dead pelt away from its Blessed baby bones.
* MrBounder nods, and makes sure to once again keep his body between the audience and the cubs...
*** Duo has joined #cleanvore
* ~toochaotic hugs Duo
<Duo> mrr.
* Spheniscine hugs Duo
<droo> o.o
* droo hug too <3
<Spheniscine> Wait, Duo comes here?
* Spheniscine noms on Duo's tail
<droo> :P
* Duo wags it.
<MrBounder> I invited him here...
<droo> :3
* MrBounder starts to hand Duo a scalpel then changes his mind...
<MrBounder> I think you would be the MOST help by just... wait a minute... gah... decisions decisions...
<MrBounder> Ok, there are two ways we can do this...
<MrBounder> Maybe three...
<droo> o.o?
<MrBounder> You can help keep them still by keeping them entertained, while I do the cutting, or we can each be working on one.
* Duo nods and pulls out a coin.
<MrBounder> They aren't sapient, and the only things about them that can be hurt are their bones... the rest of them is just extra, and needs to be gotten off, since it just gets in the way... like wearing a parka when you don't need it.
<MrBounder> You want me to call it in the air, or what?
* Duo shakes head."The coin is for entertainment."
<MrBounder> Oh... I see...
<MrBounder> Come around opposite everyone else... they don't have as strong of stomachs maybe, so I am keeping myself between them and...
*Draco Dei retrieves the cub he is currently working on, which started to crawl away, dragging various bits behind...
* Spheniscine laughs at the cub.
* Duo makes the coin flash and rotate.
* MrBounder places the badger-cub in the middle of the plastic sheet again, and holds it down very gently with two fingers while he waits for Duo to do his... ok then...
* MrBounder starts to cut around each of the back ankles.
* MrBounder pulls the skin off the back legs... "Just like peeling a banana, see?"
<MrBounder> "Except we only want to have one cut line running down each limb
<MrBounder> "
* MrBounder works a little more...
* Duo makes it disappear.. re-appear.
<MrBounder> "There, that is the 'pants' off... now for the 'shirt'... last will be the 'hood'."
* MrBounder works on forelimbs.
* Duo pokes a cub nose.
* MrBounder does the head as well as he can without risking nicking any bones.
<Spheniscine> brb lunch. :3
* MrBounder puts the skin in a ziploc bag... "Write a number 2 on that bag if you would while I put on this guys...? girls? Oh well, it hardly matters now... collar and get him cleaned up...
* Duo writes a backwards 2.
* MrBounder puts a lead tag around the neck-bones with a #2 stamped into it, then drops it into a bowl full of beatles... it makes a funny sound... like a high-pitched choir warming up...
<MrBounder> Ok, now put two handfuls of salt in the bag, seal it, then shake it up really good!
<Duo> o.o
<MrBounder> Hear that? The little dear is ticklish!
* Duo grabs two paws of salt.. and puts them in...shakes up.
<MrBounder> Sounds so much better than zombie or mummy moaning don't you think?
* Duo nods
<MrBounder> "Good"... it not only feels good, it even SOUNDS good...
* MrBounder takes the next cub out of the secondary cage, and gives it the chew-toy...
* MrBounder starts cutting, a bit more quick and sure, since he has learned from his previous two experiences about how to adapt his feild-dressing technique to a subject that is still moving... although much less now that Duo is helping...
* Duo catches the cubs eyes
<MrBounder> Shame the spawn-creation process their new mother is programmed for ruins the throats... but the pelts are just for dressing them up now anyway... like putting a tuxedo on your wiener-dog...
<MrBounder> And their paws and snouts are going to be sticking out too, so the throat doesn't ruin the effect any more than it already is ruined.
* MrBounder skins... skins... skins...
* Duo nods and pokes a cub nose again
* MrBounder finishes and drops the pelt into a bag he REMEMBERED this time to put salt into and number on ahead of time...
* MrBounder plops it into the bowl, where its sibling tussels with it as cubs will, helpfully reaching up into its rib-cage from the posterior direction and pulling stuff out, giving the beetles quicker access.
* MrBounder removes the FIFTH cub from the main cage and moves it to the secondary cage, before the mother takes the inititative to start cleaning its soft tissues off herself.
* MrBounder talks a different one out of the secondary cage and starts the skinning process for the fourth time...
<MrBounder> Just this one and the one I just moved to the secondary cage to go...
* MrBounder soon finishes.
<droo> still trying to improve my art o.o
<MrBounder> Glad to hear it...
<MrBounder> Well, I think it is best to improve it by doing the comic, and not worrying about it too much.
* MrBounder takes a moment to move #2 to the main cage, where it soon has its mother's embalming fluid dribbling out the back of its mandable along-side its sibling.
<MrBounder> ((Mom lactates embalming fluid))
* MrBounder adds more beatles to the bowl...
* MrBounder gets back to skinning number 4....
<Spheniscine> Back. :3
<MrBounder> So... which one are you going to name? I want to let Robin name at least one, and I might let you two name more than one if nobody else is interested...
<MrBounder> I suppose we ought to name the mother too!
<MrBounder> What about you two droo? Spheniscine? You want to name them?
<MrBounder> Err... one per person at first of course...
* Duo wags
<Spheniscine> Fluffy? (Yeah, cliche... lol)
* Duo thinks.
<Duo> Gevudan?
* MrBounder 's purpose-shifted fingers make quick and precise work of the skinning... he goes to the bowl, and sees that the last one is curled up, dormant (Asleep? Can the Deathless truely be said to sleep?).
* droo isnt good at naming honestly X3 he just nammed his two pet dogs "doggie" and "bearbear" and the two las rabbits? "bunneh!" :P
* MrBounder carefully removes the curled up one, giving time for the beatles to slip off of it, before plopping its viscera dripping sibling into the mass of insects.
* MrBounder looks into the eye-sockets of the one in his paws? Ooo... this one's eye-flames are bluer than the others!
* Duo earperks
* MrBounder makes sure its tag is on and secure before putting it in with the rest.
<MrBounder> Gevudan? Sounds nice... does it mean anything?
<Duo> It's french.
It's the name of a town
research...
Le monstre de Gevudan
or..
The Beast of Gevudan
<MrBounder> What was that beast?
<Duo> Werwuff.
* MrBounder gets the last cub out, which has been clawing at its stomach, trying to get rid of the dragging weight of its belly...
<MrBounder> There there little one... you will be free to run around, light as a feather soon enough...
* MrBounder has a bit of trouble with this one, despite Duo's help...
* Duo resorts to flashes of light.
<MrBounder> Hmm... it keeps trying to damage the... Ah... got an idea...
* MrBounder stops trying to continue the cuts and keep its claws away from itself, and peels back the pelt from the belly...
* Duo rubs the cub
* Badger-Cub contents itself with pulling out its intestines with its mouth and foreclaws, allowing Mr Bounder to work on its hind-legs in peace.
* MrBounder takes a moment to slip the scalpel behind some of the leg-tendons and sever the associated muscles. "There Duo, now you can rub it directly, without any muscle or anything getting in the way."
* Duo scritches
* DracoDei looks at the skull of the one in the bowl peering up at him from the writhing swarm. He looks torn for a moment...
<DracoDei> Eh... why not go for the Gusto?
* DracoDei "Sanctus Flagro. Sanctus Respiro. Per Sanctus Occulo. Ego Ventus, Ego Flagro, Per Occulo. Rouge Flagro." he starts to incant, flames flickering from his jaws...
* Duo headtilts and watches, intersted.
((OOC: Yes, I know it has been YEARS since I took Latin, so I probably TOTALLY butchered that...))
* MrBounder finishes up the last cub, but simply holds it, not wanting to interupt whatever Draco is doing.
<MrBounder> No idea what he is up to... he was supposed to be watching for anything going wrong with any of the spells... the mother going berzerk and wanting to make US her spawn for example... not that she can get out of that cage, but she might hurt herself or the cubs trying.
This isn't something to do with that... he is doing something with the Holy energy of his breathweapon... weaving it into a spell... something about an eye?
* DracoDei lifts the cub out of the beetles, shaking them off a bit roughly, while his other claw goes to his lips, and comes away holding a sphere of brightness a little smaller than a BB....
* DracoDei presses the sphere to the right eye-socket of the cub, and when he takes it away, that eye-flame burns a fierce red, instead of a kindly blue.
<DracoDei> Sorry about that... wanted to add a little artistic touch, since you seemed to like the variation in the one with the bluer eyes... I am going to leave him mismatched I think... more interesting that way... besides, I don't want to risk him getting too uppity... righteous anger without direction ceases to actually do Good, and the fact that mine is channeled through Logic can only do so much to counter balance the fact that he is a beast, and one naturally given to rage to boot...
* DracoDei puts the now piebald((OOC:that is the right word for mis-matched eyes, right?) cub in with its mother.))
<Spheniscine> ((OOC: I've not heard that word used in that context. I think the word is "heterochromic".))
* MrBounder shrugs and slips the last cub into the beatles.
* Duo yawns lots
* MrBounder makes sure everything is packed up, rolls up the sheet with all the disposable stuff on it and stuffs it in the trash, then goes off to wash his paws.
*** MrBounder is now known as DracoDei
<DracoDei> So.... which one is Gevudan?
<Duo> not sure o.o.
<Duo> 3, I think..
<DracoDei> That is the one with Blue-ish eyes, right?
<DracoDei> Spheniscine and Droo, will you be naming any? You don't have to do it now, but I want to know if I should reserve one for each of you...
<Duo> yes
* droo wont be naming any o.o
* DracoDei pulls out Gevudan, and hands him to Remi... "Why don't we go back to the main room and introduce him to everyone? Or do you think that would be a bit too much of a shock? Personally I think it is best to stop them wondering what I have been up to in here...
<Spheniscine> Well, I did say Fluffy, but I wasn't sure if I was serious... :P
<Spheniscine> Well, I can't think of a better name. :P
<DracoDei> Fluffy works... until and unless you think of a better one...
* droo isnt even sure exactly what they are currently, perhaps that they are cubs that haven't had their flesh taken off o.o
<Spheniscine> OK.
<Spheniscine> Deathless skeletal badgers.
<DracoDei> I think I will name one Flame Eye... three guesses which one, and the first two don't count...
<Spheniscine> lol
<Spheniscine> ((Gotta go... I'm tired...))


FROM #cff on FoxNet ((((Pre-existing conversation was on the subject of Heavy Metal bands that people liked)))):
<@DracoDei> Well, Remi, I think this is a good note for us to enter on...
<Shonsu> ?
<Wulfshade> Anyways, last time when i saw them live they werent that good either. I would say they are one of those bands that sound better on album
But... enough of Dimmu i suppose
<Shonsu> "sounds better on the album" = "not a very good band"
"sounds better on the album" = has to edit themselves a lot to sound good
<Wulfshade> Well, thats not what i mean
<@DracoDei> ((Duo: You want to narrate your entrance with Gevudan, or should I?... or we can just forget it...))
<Shonsu> dragon force is another band like that
<Wulfshade> Or actually i do mean exactly that: sometimes the music needs to be mixed well to get the richness of the sound heard, while on stage it's much more difficult to do that.
<@DracoDei> Basically, we just got through the creation of 5 critters and the modification of another that wouldn't be out of place on the cover of a heavy metal album...
* DracoDei goes back into the "Eating Room" and returns with a small thing of white bars and knobs in his hands.
* DracoDei opens his claws to reveal a tiny skeleton perched on his palms, a soothing-white flame flicker in its left eye-socket, and a restrained but forceful red burning in its right.
<@DracoDei> Well, you can still nurse this guy from a bottle if you like... but you better wear a heavy-duty apron... he takes embalming fluid now, not milk.
<@DracoDei> Named him Flame Eye, and yes, I did put that spark in his right socket...
* DracoDei brings out the cage with the mummified mother (the original deathless badger, running Windows 2000) and the 4 other cubs (Gulvudan, Fluffy, and two without names yet).
<Shonsu> so what inspired this badger thing?
<@DracoDei> This all started out as a pun... and then I worked backwards to come up with how to get there... and it REALLY blossomed when I actually went through the RP with those who choice to attend the spawn-bonding...
<@DracoDei> Err... well the Deathless Badger running Windows 2000 is a riff off of this: http://www.strangehorizons.com/2004/20040405/badger.shtml
<@DracoDei> But tonight's stuff was all supposed to lead up to the following (although some of the stuff that happened along the way may prove more meaningful in the long-run...) :
[02:06] <@DracoDei> Wagz, cast Raise Dead?
* WagzBot casts the spell, temporarily empowering herself with reverse-necromantic energies and care-giving skills. She goes off and returns with the skeletal badger cubs. "Babysitting for Deathless is a bit odd, but it is still good practice for when I have pups of my own some day."
<Shonsu> ah
<Shonsu> I see...
<Shonsu> it seemed like one of those kinds of jokes
<@DracoDei> This being a church, and me and Gauss being the Good Guys, we couldn't go around messing with most undead, but that doesn't mean that Gauss doesn't know his Necromancy...
<Shonsu> hmmm
<@DracoDei> And since Gauss likes to prove that Good can do any useful thing that Evil can, he tends to hang out with the sort of people who would do something like that just for a lark...
<@DracoDei> Then they need bench-space for their next project, so they pass on the stuff they don't want to junk...
<@DracoDei> The CFF got the badger...
<@DracoDei> Anyway... was I correct that 5 skeletal badgers nursing off of a mummified badger, all with flames for eyes would be work for a heavy metal album cover?
<@DracoDei> Or is my cultural calibration off on that one?
<Shonsu> is he real or RP?
<@DracoDei> Gauss is a sub-avatar of mine...
<Shonsu> ok
<@DracoDei> Gauss is a caracture of my nerdiness and love of detail and precision... also he is a mage instead of an engineer...
<Shonsu> hmmm

DracoDei
2010-06-16, 10:49 PM
And as a bonus extra, here is a slight-rewording of an appropriate song for playing with DeadMom and her cubs at later times:

Imagine me as the lead singer/dancer with DeadMom and the cubs as my back-up dancers/singers.

Original lyrics with a somewhat relevant (and probably much cooler than the original) animated dance can be found here: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/472352 (warning Not ENTIRELY safe for work or younger viewers).


C'mon my poor cubs,
come a little closer.
I'm the reanimator.

C'mon!
Reanimate your feet!

If you're feeling dead I'll be your reanimator
I've got the way to bring you to life
A superior existence with only love to control you
Where you can always do what you like

Let me give you your coat back, and they will ask for more
You will see that you never felt this way before
Here is some myrrh, have some its good for you!
Playtime is eternal for you, you, you!

Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
The power will keep you alive
Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
You'll romp for the rest of your life

Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
The power will keep you alive
Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
You'll romp for the rest of your life

Reanimate your feet!

All you lil' cubs listen to your reanimator
Don't hesitate and give it a try
And you'll be quite satisfied just as long as I can give you
A guarantee that you'll never die

Let me give you your coat back, and they will ask for more
You will see that you never felt this way before
Here is some myrrh, have some its good for you!
Playtime is eternal for you, you, you!

Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
The power will keep you alive
Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
You'll romp for the rest of your life

Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
The power will keep you alive
Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
You'll romp for the rest of your life

Reanimate your feet!
Reanimate your feet!

Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
The power will keep you alive
Move your dead bones bones bones
Move your dead bones bones bones
You'll romp for the rest of your life

Reanimate your feet!

DracoDei
2010-06-18, 01:00 PM
73 views and no replies?
This part is as bad as the Homebrew section...
A little help please?

Optimystik
2010-06-18, 01:02 PM
I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but the first post contains an awful lot of text to simply read through. Could you maybe summarize what it is you're wanting help with?

DracoDei
2010-06-18, 01:05 PM
I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but the first post contains an awful lot of text to simply read through. Could you maybe summarize what it is you're wanting help with?
Would the personalities presented (in Gauss, Draco Dei, and Mr Bounder) interesting/fun/plausible to incorporate into the personality of a necromancer mechanically focused on the creation of deathless?