Superglucose
2010-07-04, 01:39 AM
Jeez.
I just need a minirant. I take a bunch of crap from people and I know I deserve some of it (no one's perfect) but oh my god.
Dear D/B:
My god your skin is thin. Like, absurdly thin. Yeah, your character set off a con damage trap and lost half his con. Sucks, but that's how the dice fell. And yes, we made fun of you a little bit for it... that's how it works with this group! In case you haven't noticed whenever there's a major gaffe, everyone makes fun of the gaffer for screwing up.
So then you take damage from something else (way to wade into melee unbuffed), and I heal you. Granted, it took another character to say "Heal him" before I did it, but whatever. That's part of the character I'm playing that I warned you all about before: he's kind of a jerk and doesn't want to spend resources on people. Druid who's a conservationist, who knew? Then you manage to take damage again (I don't remember that) and this time I heal you without anyone saying anything.
WHY DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND THEN COME TO ME COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO HEAL YOU?!
And then she complains about how I "left" you close to dying the whole game. I. We had a cleric in the party. Not to mention the other sorcerer was at -9 and in the middle of melee combat when I waded through and healed him and kept him alive, so you didn't even come the closest to dying.
So then we move to board RP where the initial RP between you two is so sickeningly... this (http://www.xkcd.com/684/) and I joke that it's going to be unbearable and I might have to rub off one of the characters. B freaks out and is like "WHAT?!" and I go "No, seriously, let it go. It's a joke, I'm not going to do anything." Whatever. The worst part is she was talking about this character as if it was going to be "so much fun" to play this (in her words) annoying fairy-like creature and she was taking the "stick" spell literally so she could stick things to other PCs and generally be obnoxious. So I mention that her character is obnoxious and this puts her off roleplaying?
No. Honestly now I'm getting the 10th degree from her ("You don't like hanging out with me!" which is why I hang out with you twice a week excluding game and "you have it out for my boyfriend!" which is like, what?) and the 10th degree from her boyfriend ("You need to stop being an ass" um, er, maybe she could grow a thicker skin a bit? It's not like I'm targeting her or anything just joking about a character who's primary trait she TOLD ME was "to be annoying").
The combo platter is absurd, and I fear that their stupidity (and I swear to god I have no idea how either of them graduated from college... it is sheer and maddening the absurdly low levels of intelligence they display) is rubbing off on each other.
See, here's the deal: I was tired of playing the "goody two shoes" character. I had a Cleric who was constantly telling everyone else to stand back so he could take the hits. My last character was a Wizard who's primary job was to step into the middle of everything and act like a fighter so everyone else could sit in the back and feel safe. Both characters did pretty much everything they could to take care of the party.
The responses I got were amazing, to be honest. D had all of his characters attacking mine for various reasons, which was annoying. B was flipping out that I was angry about this, and throughout it all I still held my "no man left behind" philosophy. Eventually the campaign ended, and I thought to myself, "Man, I am tired of being the good guy." And it's true. I wanted to play a character who's response to seeing the party go down in flames wasn't "Alright, time to risk my ass to save everyone" but rather "Alright, time to figure out how to GTFO."
I warned everyone this change would be happening. That my new character was a bit of a jerk and was largely apathetic towards the whole party except the kobold sorcerer who, because of a backstory that had been worked out ahead of time, would be my companion.
And of course it catches everyone at the table by surprise. "OMG" they cry, "What did we do to piss off Superglucose?" Or more accurately, "OMG, what did D do to piss off Superglucose?" The answer? Nothing. I'm just not putting up with anything anymore. Instead of playing a character who's attitude is "Ok, I'll let it go." I'm playing a character who's attitude is "Do you want to try saying that to my face?"
Completely unsurprisingly it looks like there's instant conflict between me and D because suddenly I'm not just letting it go. Hell, I'm supposedly the "slave" to H's character, and I openly defy her frequently. I've called her character an idiot, wasteful, and a fool and that's just in one interaction.
So now B is QQing because "game isn't fun for me" (newsflash: it's never fun for you, and it's your own damn fault because you took the Gloaming race and then after I warned you three times, you still were upset when you couldn't hover or see in the dark. Now you're upset because your spells aren't what you want them to be as a sorcerer, and I find out that you're blatantly cheating by changing your spells whenever you want, and started the game without assigning feats.) How do you think everyone else at the table feels when we have to explain things for the umpteenth time?
In short? Over the last like half a month I have gone from crushing on B to being driven absolutely up the wall by her. Every time I'm around her I'm on goddamn eggshells and I can't handle that. Half the time her boyfriend opens his mouth I just want to punch him in the face. He's a smug git who makes decisions that honestly flummox me.
Well guess what D and B? I consider you guys friends (for god knows what reason) and I'm even helping you two move in. Why? Because once upon a time we got along. Once upon a time I felt like I could rely on one of you if I needed something. So every time you start complaining about me not wanting to hang out with you? Shut the hell up. I do so frequently. I even help you move. The next time you complain about how I'm "targeting" you at game? Close your mouth and think back to how many times I patiently answered your questions at game... questions that you could have easily answered by opening the stack of books in your lap or perhaps could have easily answered by remembering the answer I gave you last time.
Oh and here's a kicker: I decided for one game that I wasn't going to answer any questions. The bitching I got for that game was absurd. Yes, I know the rules to 3.5 In fact, I'm something of a rules lawyer... if we're going to set out ground rules I like them to be followed whenever it makes sense. Hell, this has been true for all my life: I memorized the rules to Skipbo and Uno and all those little card games just so I wouldn't have to break the flow of game to hunt down a simple question.
It doesn't mean I enjoy answering these questions.
In fact, I hate answering these questions. I took time out of my life to learn the rules to this game. I spent the effort, so I reap the reward of knowledge. When certain rules come up and they're looking for a quick answer ("doesn't that provoke an attack of opportunity?") I'll gladly give a yes or no answer. But when I'm explaining how Power Attack works for the umpteenth time, or explaining how using a concentration check to cast defensively works for the umpteenth time, it starts to get annoying. If you want to know the rules, do what I did: take the time to read up on them.
It's especially grating that neither of them come to game knowing their character's powers. I built a Druid. A summoning-focused druid. Do you know what I did to get ready for this? I looked online for a list of good practices for summoning-focused characters (like have the statblocks ready for frequent summons), and I made quintouply sure that I was reading the rules right. I double checked the rules for casting spells with casting times > 1 standard action, I double checked the range rules, I double checked casting defensively, I went through what weapons and armor my character could wield (and my animal companion), I checked and rechecked my racial bonuses, I made sure I knew what each of the spells on my list did, I worked out a couple of typical prep-lists, and I double checked the abilities my character got. Now, I'm pretty used to doing these, so that maybe tacked on an additional 15 minutes of time.
D and B? Well I was picking up B for game, and found out that she hadn't even written anything down! Not to mention she rolled 3 sets of stats (everyone else rolled 1) and refused to pick her feats (even NOW hasn't picked her feats). So we get to game, two weeks after she's said what character she was playing, and we have to wait 2 hours for her and her boyfriend to finish their characters. Just so you have a good timeframe on this, they posted on our RP boards three days before game with an interaction between their characters.
So it's not like they didn't know what they were playing. It's more like, they just twiddled on their thumbs RPing instead of actually finishing the characters that they said they were going to play. Which means we all get to start late and everyone around the table can idly chat about whatever while you finish, right? WRONG! No, because you guys join in the idle chatter without actually finishing the characters that you had two weeks to work on.
Maybe I'm insane and out of line, but I think it's a sign of respect to have that sort of thing ready by the time you make it to game. I do my leveling up outside of game (except HP rolls), because it's all pretty much chosen for me and I don't need to waste everyone's time with "weeee I'm taking empower spell and black tentacles and polymorph and my saves go up and my BAB goes up and I get a skill point in blah blah blah blah." And yes, I do prefer to optimize and it does annoy me a bit when your character is subop (blaster focused sorc? Ow. At least it's better than the Rogue/Wizard or the Drow fighter) but it's not a game breaker. I'm totally fine with the girl playing the Drow fighter! Do you know why?
Because when she arrived at game, the only thing she had to do was confirm a couple of items with the GM. Seriously. She just asked the GM in person if she could take some item, and the GM said "yes." End of the story there, 5 minutes in she was done.
So I just end up wanting to scream every time that B apologizes for having weak characters. THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE. What is bothering me is this:
After two weeks, you made two extra sets of stat rolls until you got ones you liked, then you spent time to roleplay with the new character, then with fifteen minutes to go asked me which spells you should take, then argued with me for five minutes about whether or not Glitterdust is a 2nd level spell (hint: it is), then got to game and were like, "Well I don't have my character ready" and then proceeded to spend two hours getting it ready. Then you didn't even pick your feats! You decided to wait to see which ones you wanted based on the campaign! News flash: EVERYONE ELSE PICKED THEIR FEATS (ok maybe not your boyfriend) BEFORE ROLLING THE FIRST INITIATIVE ROLL.
And out of all this she calls me a munchkin? No. A munchkin is someone who re-rolls stats to get better stats. A munchkin is someone who waits to pick their feats to see how the campaign is going to go. In short, a munchkin is a cheater, who takes underhanded tricks to make his character more powerful. You? You are a munchkin. A horrible munchkin who has the grasp on this game I would expect of a five-year-old, but a munchkin none the less.
So let me tell you now: B, you are officially uninvited from any game I ever run. It's not because you're not good at the game. It's not because your characters aren't pinnacles of optimization. It is because of this:
It is because I am tired of waiting for you. It is because I am sick of you rerolling things you're not supposed to reroll. It is because I am annoyed at the fact that you never pick feats. It is because I am disgusted that you do not know even the basics, nor do you take the time to learn them, of the class you intend to play. And it is because when I get frustrated at any of the above, you make me into the bad guy.
D? You're fine. My problems with you all stem from you having the social cognizance of a five-year-old. Whatever, that's part of who you are. You do have a semi-solid grasp of the rules (though based on some of the discussions we've had, your reading skills are suspect), and I really wish you could grow a thicker skin. And accept that most of your characters are pretty much bumbling clowns. Because let's be honest, they really, really are. But i also need you to get off my back about your girlfriend. When you start voicing her complaints to me? It makes me not respect either of you at all. When she starts voicing your complaints to me? It makes me not respect you at all.
And for those of you who will cry sexism, the reason I'm ok with B voicing D's complaints but not vica-versa is because B and I are, or rather were, much closer than D and I are. In my mind it's ok for a friend to voice an acquaintances complaints, but not ok for an acquaintance to voice a friend's complaints. Or at least more ok.
Phew. It was nice to get that out.
I just need a minirant. I take a bunch of crap from people and I know I deserve some of it (no one's perfect) but oh my god.
Dear D/B:
My god your skin is thin. Like, absurdly thin. Yeah, your character set off a con damage trap and lost half his con. Sucks, but that's how the dice fell. And yes, we made fun of you a little bit for it... that's how it works with this group! In case you haven't noticed whenever there's a major gaffe, everyone makes fun of the gaffer for screwing up.
So then you take damage from something else (way to wade into melee unbuffed), and I heal you. Granted, it took another character to say "Heal him" before I did it, but whatever. That's part of the character I'm playing that I warned you all about before: he's kind of a jerk and doesn't want to spend resources on people. Druid who's a conservationist, who knew? Then you manage to take damage again (I don't remember that) and this time I heal you without anyone saying anything.
WHY DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND THEN COME TO ME COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO HEAL YOU?!
And then she complains about how I "left" you close to dying the whole game. I. We had a cleric in the party. Not to mention the other sorcerer was at -9 and in the middle of melee combat when I waded through and healed him and kept him alive, so you didn't even come the closest to dying.
So then we move to board RP where the initial RP between you two is so sickeningly... this (http://www.xkcd.com/684/) and I joke that it's going to be unbearable and I might have to rub off one of the characters. B freaks out and is like "WHAT?!" and I go "No, seriously, let it go. It's a joke, I'm not going to do anything." Whatever. The worst part is she was talking about this character as if it was going to be "so much fun" to play this (in her words) annoying fairy-like creature and she was taking the "stick" spell literally so she could stick things to other PCs and generally be obnoxious. So I mention that her character is obnoxious and this puts her off roleplaying?
No. Honestly now I'm getting the 10th degree from her ("You don't like hanging out with me!" which is why I hang out with you twice a week excluding game and "you have it out for my boyfriend!" which is like, what?) and the 10th degree from her boyfriend ("You need to stop being an ass" um, er, maybe she could grow a thicker skin a bit? It's not like I'm targeting her or anything just joking about a character who's primary trait she TOLD ME was "to be annoying").
The combo platter is absurd, and I fear that their stupidity (and I swear to god I have no idea how either of them graduated from college... it is sheer and maddening the absurdly low levels of intelligence they display) is rubbing off on each other.
See, here's the deal: I was tired of playing the "goody two shoes" character. I had a Cleric who was constantly telling everyone else to stand back so he could take the hits. My last character was a Wizard who's primary job was to step into the middle of everything and act like a fighter so everyone else could sit in the back and feel safe. Both characters did pretty much everything they could to take care of the party.
The responses I got were amazing, to be honest. D had all of his characters attacking mine for various reasons, which was annoying. B was flipping out that I was angry about this, and throughout it all I still held my "no man left behind" philosophy. Eventually the campaign ended, and I thought to myself, "Man, I am tired of being the good guy." And it's true. I wanted to play a character who's response to seeing the party go down in flames wasn't "Alright, time to risk my ass to save everyone" but rather "Alright, time to figure out how to GTFO."
I warned everyone this change would be happening. That my new character was a bit of a jerk and was largely apathetic towards the whole party except the kobold sorcerer who, because of a backstory that had been worked out ahead of time, would be my companion.
And of course it catches everyone at the table by surprise. "OMG" they cry, "What did we do to piss off Superglucose?" Or more accurately, "OMG, what did D do to piss off Superglucose?" The answer? Nothing. I'm just not putting up with anything anymore. Instead of playing a character who's attitude is "Ok, I'll let it go." I'm playing a character who's attitude is "Do you want to try saying that to my face?"
Completely unsurprisingly it looks like there's instant conflict between me and D because suddenly I'm not just letting it go. Hell, I'm supposedly the "slave" to H's character, and I openly defy her frequently. I've called her character an idiot, wasteful, and a fool and that's just in one interaction.
So now B is QQing because "game isn't fun for me" (newsflash: it's never fun for you, and it's your own damn fault because you took the Gloaming race and then after I warned you three times, you still were upset when you couldn't hover or see in the dark. Now you're upset because your spells aren't what you want them to be as a sorcerer, and I find out that you're blatantly cheating by changing your spells whenever you want, and started the game without assigning feats.) How do you think everyone else at the table feels when we have to explain things for the umpteenth time?
In short? Over the last like half a month I have gone from crushing on B to being driven absolutely up the wall by her. Every time I'm around her I'm on goddamn eggshells and I can't handle that. Half the time her boyfriend opens his mouth I just want to punch him in the face. He's a smug git who makes decisions that honestly flummox me.
Well guess what D and B? I consider you guys friends (for god knows what reason) and I'm even helping you two move in. Why? Because once upon a time we got along. Once upon a time I felt like I could rely on one of you if I needed something. So every time you start complaining about me not wanting to hang out with you? Shut the hell up. I do so frequently. I even help you move. The next time you complain about how I'm "targeting" you at game? Close your mouth and think back to how many times I patiently answered your questions at game... questions that you could have easily answered by opening the stack of books in your lap or perhaps could have easily answered by remembering the answer I gave you last time.
Oh and here's a kicker: I decided for one game that I wasn't going to answer any questions. The bitching I got for that game was absurd. Yes, I know the rules to 3.5 In fact, I'm something of a rules lawyer... if we're going to set out ground rules I like them to be followed whenever it makes sense. Hell, this has been true for all my life: I memorized the rules to Skipbo and Uno and all those little card games just so I wouldn't have to break the flow of game to hunt down a simple question.
It doesn't mean I enjoy answering these questions.
In fact, I hate answering these questions. I took time out of my life to learn the rules to this game. I spent the effort, so I reap the reward of knowledge. When certain rules come up and they're looking for a quick answer ("doesn't that provoke an attack of opportunity?") I'll gladly give a yes or no answer. But when I'm explaining how Power Attack works for the umpteenth time, or explaining how using a concentration check to cast defensively works for the umpteenth time, it starts to get annoying. If you want to know the rules, do what I did: take the time to read up on them.
It's especially grating that neither of them come to game knowing their character's powers. I built a Druid. A summoning-focused druid. Do you know what I did to get ready for this? I looked online for a list of good practices for summoning-focused characters (like have the statblocks ready for frequent summons), and I made quintouply sure that I was reading the rules right. I double checked the rules for casting spells with casting times > 1 standard action, I double checked the range rules, I double checked casting defensively, I went through what weapons and armor my character could wield (and my animal companion), I checked and rechecked my racial bonuses, I made sure I knew what each of the spells on my list did, I worked out a couple of typical prep-lists, and I double checked the abilities my character got. Now, I'm pretty used to doing these, so that maybe tacked on an additional 15 minutes of time.
D and B? Well I was picking up B for game, and found out that she hadn't even written anything down! Not to mention she rolled 3 sets of stats (everyone else rolled 1) and refused to pick her feats (even NOW hasn't picked her feats). So we get to game, two weeks after she's said what character she was playing, and we have to wait 2 hours for her and her boyfriend to finish their characters. Just so you have a good timeframe on this, they posted on our RP boards three days before game with an interaction between their characters.
So it's not like they didn't know what they were playing. It's more like, they just twiddled on their thumbs RPing instead of actually finishing the characters that they said they were going to play. Which means we all get to start late and everyone around the table can idly chat about whatever while you finish, right? WRONG! No, because you guys join in the idle chatter without actually finishing the characters that you had two weeks to work on.
Maybe I'm insane and out of line, but I think it's a sign of respect to have that sort of thing ready by the time you make it to game. I do my leveling up outside of game (except HP rolls), because it's all pretty much chosen for me and I don't need to waste everyone's time with "weeee I'm taking empower spell and black tentacles and polymorph and my saves go up and my BAB goes up and I get a skill point in blah blah blah blah." And yes, I do prefer to optimize and it does annoy me a bit when your character is subop (blaster focused sorc? Ow. At least it's better than the Rogue/Wizard or the Drow fighter) but it's not a game breaker. I'm totally fine with the girl playing the Drow fighter! Do you know why?
Because when she arrived at game, the only thing she had to do was confirm a couple of items with the GM. Seriously. She just asked the GM in person if she could take some item, and the GM said "yes." End of the story there, 5 minutes in she was done.
So I just end up wanting to scream every time that B apologizes for having weak characters. THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE. What is bothering me is this:
After two weeks, you made two extra sets of stat rolls until you got ones you liked, then you spent time to roleplay with the new character, then with fifteen minutes to go asked me which spells you should take, then argued with me for five minutes about whether or not Glitterdust is a 2nd level spell (hint: it is), then got to game and were like, "Well I don't have my character ready" and then proceeded to spend two hours getting it ready. Then you didn't even pick your feats! You decided to wait to see which ones you wanted based on the campaign! News flash: EVERYONE ELSE PICKED THEIR FEATS (ok maybe not your boyfriend) BEFORE ROLLING THE FIRST INITIATIVE ROLL.
And out of all this she calls me a munchkin? No. A munchkin is someone who re-rolls stats to get better stats. A munchkin is someone who waits to pick their feats to see how the campaign is going to go. In short, a munchkin is a cheater, who takes underhanded tricks to make his character more powerful. You? You are a munchkin. A horrible munchkin who has the grasp on this game I would expect of a five-year-old, but a munchkin none the less.
So let me tell you now: B, you are officially uninvited from any game I ever run. It's not because you're not good at the game. It's not because your characters aren't pinnacles of optimization. It is because of this:
It is because I am tired of waiting for you. It is because I am sick of you rerolling things you're not supposed to reroll. It is because I am annoyed at the fact that you never pick feats. It is because I am disgusted that you do not know even the basics, nor do you take the time to learn them, of the class you intend to play. And it is because when I get frustrated at any of the above, you make me into the bad guy.
D? You're fine. My problems with you all stem from you having the social cognizance of a five-year-old. Whatever, that's part of who you are. You do have a semi-solid grasp of the rules (though based on some of the discussions we've had, your reading skills are suspect), and I really wish you could grow a thicker skin. And accept that most of your characters are pretty much bumbling clowns. Because let's be honest, they really, really are. But i also need you to get off my back about your girlfriend. When you start voicing her complaints to me? It makes me not respect either of you at all. When she starts voicing your complaints to me? It makes me not respect you at all.
And for those of you who will cry sexism, the reason I'm ok with B voicing D's complaints but not vica-versa is because B and I are, or rather were, much closer than D and I are. In my mind it's ok for a friend to voice an acquaintances complaints, but not ok for an acquaintance to voice a friend's complaints. Or at least more ok.
Phew. It was nice to get that out.