Etiquette Lessons

[TheLaughingMan]

So, so far, I've been an idiot all over the forum, and I just don't know how you guys do it. Any advice for a socially inept rookie?

[Flickerdart]

Always let people see what you rolled before grabbing the dice away. =P

[Maximum Zersk]

So, so far, I've been an idiot all over the forum, and I just don't know how you guys do it. Any advice for a socially inept rookie?

What do you mean, exactly?

[TheLaughingMan]

I'm new to forums in general, so I'm hoping for advice so I don't act like a moron/ass in the future.

[Maximum Zersk]

Well, usually you read the Forum Rules first. Then if you're in a game you read the game rules. And if you're just conversing, you keep a calm head.

Izzat good? :smalltongue:

[thubby]

when in doubt, golden rule. just give people the respect you would want from them.

[TheLaughingMan]

Well, usually you read the Forum Rules first. Then if you're in a game you read the game rules. And if you're just conversing, you keep a calm head.

Izzat good? :smalltongue:

That doesn't help much after the fact.

[Knaight]

Post more in threads with socially inept mouthbreathers such as myself so you look better by comparison maybe?:smallbiggrin:

[Maximum Zersk]

That doesn't help much after the fact.

Hmm... :smallconfused:

Then how about thubby's suggestion?

[Coidzor]

Check out the Random Banter thread, occasionally it's pretty good reading too.

For specific problems or questions, you might refer to the Relationship Woes and Advice thread.

As far as I know though, there's never really been a Miss Manners for Forums. :/

[Mauve Shirt]

Don't use personal attacks against posters you disagree with. But then that's in the Forum Rules. Just read them and obey them and you'll be fine.
If by "after the fact" you mean you've already broken them and now have to make reparations, well, just obey them from now on and apologize to anyone you've offended.

[Trog]

*A troglodyte pokes his head into the thread, looks around, then enters, casually and lights up a Coffin Nail™ Brand cigarette*

The real key is to develop a habit of randomly posting in threads as some sort of... oh.... Trog doesn't know... some sort of imaginary creature, say. Like maybe an elf... or a llama... or a girl.

*takes a drag, puffs*

See, and then after you do that enough people naturally assume you're sort of whacked in the head anyways and no one really pays attention to what you do and naturally expects you to jump from subject to subject like some sort of caffeine-injected ADD hummingbird who can't even properly finish a – OOO! Trog smells bacon! P=

*wanders off to search for bacon*

[Cobalt]

*A troglodyte pokes his head into the thread, looks around, then enters, casually and lights up a Coffin Nail™ Brand cigarette*

The real key is to develop a habit of randomly posting in threads as some sort of... oh.... Trog doesn't know... some sort of imaginary creature, say. Like maybe an elf... or a llama... or a girl.

*takes a drag, puffs*

See, and then after you do that enough people naturally assume you're sort of whacked in the head anyways and no one really pays attention to what you do and naturally expects you to jump from subject to subject like some sort of caffeine-injected ADD hummingbird who can't even properly finish a – OOO! Trog smells bacon! P=

*wanders off to search for bacon*

And thus the insanitygreatness of Trog is proven with the writen word.


Take it slow. Don't rush into situations. Do as you see those around you do. One step at a time, all it takes.

It just takes a little while.

In forums, it can take a few months sometimes to get settled in with any idea of what's going on. During this time, just start small and work your way up from wherever you are right then. Don't try to be too much at one time.
You happen to have the good fortune of being on Giantitp, so you have a better chance here to find a niche than most other places. Really, even if you make a mistake (I guess that it seems you have somewhere, but I looked at your posts and I don't see too much of a problem anywhere), the kindness that almost literally resonates off people here can make it easy to adapt.

[Savannah]

What I do is read a forum for about 6 months before I join it. Obviously, it won't help after the fact, but it wouldn't hurt to read more to see how others "do it".

I'd suggest the following advice (I don't know how much of this is applicable, because I don't know what you want to know):

* Read the forum rules and any special subforum rules (check the stickies at the top of each subforum). If you aren't sure if something is allowed, check the rules.

* Use proper spelling and grammar (including capitalization). If you aren't a native English speaker, that's fine; non-native vs lazy is pretty easy to tell. (It doesn't hurt to put that you are a non-native speaker in your signature, if you are worried about it.)

* Break up your longer posts into reasonable paragraphs, separated by blank lines. No one wants to read a wall of text.

* If you are posting in colored font, make sure it isn't a color that makes readers want to claw their eyes out. This is fine. Please don't use this.

* Edit your posts instead of double posting.

* When in doubt, don't post it. I've written many things, looked at them, and hit the back button.

* Make sure you indicate when you are kidding/being sarcastic. Tone of voice and expression can't be seen on a forum, which makes it easy for others to misinterpret your post.

* The report button is your friend. Responding to things that offend you, break the rules, or are spam is not.

* If you've gotten into trouble, learn from it so you don't do it again.

* Always keep calm. It's just a message board. If you aren't calm, don't respond until you are (or depending on what made you mad, don't respond at all, just report it).

[NeoRetribution]

Since the original post specifically asked for advice...

Humility and forgiveness may help. If you did something that you regret, apologize, sincerely and kindly. Specific private messages are probably better for apologies for all individuals involved.

Good grammar, spelling, and punctuation will assist greatly in most any process. For forum purposes this includes bolding sections of text in order to make them more discernible from other sections. It also includes the appropriate use of spoiler ( [SPOILER] ) tags to keep large text and images contained.

Generally speaking, politeness is an extension of kindness. Using words and phrases like, "Please," and, "Thank you," will help if you mean them. It is generally best to type out what you intend to say rather than using acronyms. Etiquette itself takes on different forms over the Internet so the rules themselves are less important than a specific member's intentions.

Avoiding course language, any words which others might consider swearing, might also be prudent.

But it is probably a good sign that you are at least asking the question. So if you do not understand something, ask. And if you make an error, resolve to learn from it.

These advices may not have been what you are looking for, but maybe they will be helpful.


Cheers.

[Coidzor]

An example of what not to do.


Scorpy, you do have a masculine jawbone. This, however, is not at all a negative thing, nor unattractive at all. It gives you an air of handsomeness, something I admire very much in women.
Whereas I just wanna gnaw on it myself. :smallwink: Ok, so they had my teeth pulled so it's more like gumming it...

[Knaight]

You could always try the stay logged off until you post, post one message, then log off again strategy. I don't use it personally, but some very, very respected people here* have vouched** for it.


*Swordguy
**Made a passing reference to it being a good thing.

[Deathslayer7]

I could be wrong but i believe he is reffering to a WW game that I am currently running where he roleclaimed when i asked everyone not to. :smalltongue:

If so dont worry about it. :smallsmile:

[Flickerdart]

Additionally, using Palatino may upset some typography nerds. :smallbiggrin:

Using Comic Sans will, however, upset everybody.

[Lord Raziere]

So, so far, I've been an idiot all over the forum, and I just don't know how you guys do it. Any advice for a socially inept rookie?

eh, I'm sorta new here to, I'm just going "meh" and doing whatevers, doesn't seem to be working, you probably shouldn't do what I'm doing...

but eh, with enough improvisation, methinks I'll get it at some point....though the cheeriness around here is kinda annoying, but then I'm sort of a muted person who thinks rationally more than anything else so maybe I'm kind've an odd one out on this forum :smallconfused: I don't think I really fit in, but then again I don't think I ever fitted in, in my life so its all good.

[Partof1]

eh, I'm sorta new here to, I'm just going "meh" and doing whatevers, doesn't seem to be working, you probably shouldn't do what I'm doing...

but eh, with enough improvisation, methinks I'll get it at some point....though the cheeriness around here is kinda annoying, but then I'm sort of a muted person who thinks rationally more than anything else so maybe I'm kind've an odd one out on this forum :smallconfused: I don't think I really fit in, but then again I don't think I ever fitted in, in my life so its all good.


You need a hug.


*hug*

:smalltongue:

[Maximum Zersk]

eh, I'm sorta new here to, I'm just going "meh" and doing whatevers, doesn't seem to be working, you probably shouldn't do what I'm doing...

but eh, with enough improvisation, methinks I'll get it at some point....though the cheeriness around here is kinda annoying, but then I'm sort of a muted person who thinks rationally more than anything else so maybe I'm kind've an odd one out on this forum :smallconfused: I don't think I really fit in, but then again I don't think I ever fitted in, in my life so its all good.

What's wrong Raziere? Come on, give a smile.

:smallsmile:


It's always watching.

:smile:

[Cobalt]

What's wrong Raziere? Come on, give a smile.

:smallsmile:


It's always watching.

:smile:

Well that settles it. I'm never reading your posts at two in the morning ever again.
watchingmewatchingyoueverywherehelphelphelphe'swac hingmehelp
Especially not with the curtains of my window open... :smalleek:

[factotum]

The easiest way to behave on a forum is to behave as you would when talking to a person face to face. The Internet provides anonymity, which makes it easier to see the person you're talking to as a faceless entity who doesn't care what you say, but they obviously DO care...so just remember that when you post and you should be fine!

[Lord Raziere]

I'm just not that type of guy to just become happy instantaneously, I stay a neutral content and be happy when I truly feel like I deserve it, like when I complete something or think up of a new idea.

you guys can be happy however you want, I just keep calm until something makes me feel an emotion, then I do things based on that.

[Vaynor]

So, so far, I've been an idiot all over the forum, and I just don't know how you guys do it. Any advice for a socially inept rookie?

In general, just familiarize yourself with the forum rules, they contain most of what you'll need to know, and give each of your posts a quick look-over before hitting the post button. Look for any spelling or grammar mistakes. This will help you to stop saying things you'll regret later. Also, just pay attention to what people say; read carefully and consider what you're going to post before doing so.

[Quincunx]

How did the thread progress this far without the best advice: Find a mentor who fits into the tone of the forum, read and study, ask yourself "Would [mentor] reply to this idea? What wording would [mentor] use that isn't 'me'?" before posting, and adjust if necessary, and be prepared to lower the tone if you won't adjust.

[Whammydill]

How did the thread progress this far without the best advice: Find a mentor who fits into the tone of the forum, read and study, ask yourself "Would [mentor] reply to this idea? What wording would [mentor] use that isn't 'me'?" before posting, and adjust if necessary, and be prepared to lower the tone if you won't adjust.


That settles it, we need a "What Would Trog Do" thread where we hapless souls can get advice from the smoothest and most suave of them all. He is like the Most Interesting Man in the World, only a Trog.

"I don't always post in a thread, but when I do it's full of win....Post wisely my friends."

[Trog]

That settles it, we need a "What Would Trog Do" thread where we hapless souls can get advice from the smoothest and most suave of them all. He is like the Most Interesting Man in the World, only a Trog.

"I don't always post in a thread, but when I do it's full of win....Post wisely my friends."
>_>
<_<

*points to quoted post quizzically*

Does anyone know how the heck anyone even manages to get this kind of a ringing endorsement?

Trog's betting that's Trog's alt. Gotta be.

*puffs*

[skywalker]

So, so far, I've been an idiot all over the forum, and I just don't know how you guys do it. Any advice for a socially inept rookie?

Don't draw attention to it like this ever again. If people make a big deal out of you being a jerk, it's nothing compared to what they do when you make a post saying "I've been a jerk." I'm surprised you haven't gotten more "dude, you're not bad at all, stop being so hard on yourself" responses. Those, generally, lead to you thinking you're even more of a jerk for even posting it.

Create new threads sparingly.

In general, I'd say let your posting simmer a little bit. I've tried to keep my "average post count" somewhere between 2.5-3 posts per day in all my time in the playground, and I find that it keeps me about where I want to be. Anymore than that, and I find that most of my posts are filler, or not particularly helpful, and occasionally just downright saying something just to say something. When that happens, I pay a little more attention to that little counter, and try to be more sparing (and thoughtful) with my posts.


but eh, with enough improvisation, methinks I'll get it at some point....though the cheeriness around here is kinda annoying, but then I'm sort of a muted person who thinks rationally more than anything else so maybe I'm kind've an odd one out on this forum :smallconfused: I don't think I really fit in, but then again I don't think I ever fitted in, in my life so its all good.

There are plenty of not-so-cheerful people on this forum... Have you stopped by "Gaming" yet? I mean, if your typical haunts are FB and OotS, I can understand how you feel. But check out Gaming and Media. I'd wager you'll find plenty of people who share your disposition, if not your interests.


How did the thread progress this far without the best advice: Find a mentor who fits into the tone of the forum, read and study, ask yourself "Would [mentor] reply to this idea? What wording would [mentor] use that isn't 'me'?" before posting, and adjust if necessary, and be prepared to lower the tone if you won't adjust.

I'd like to point out (in as even-keeled as possible a way) that this is what you think is the best advice. Since you're the only person I've ever seen put forward this theory/idea, I'd say that's why no one else has mentioned it. It's just not that common. It's not like, say, "don't flame people" or "read the forum rules," which several people have mentioned, because they're universal.


Does anyone know how the heck anyone even manages to get this kind of a ringing endorsement?

Years of quality posting? It's really the quality that does it. Having a consistently high quality of posts is really helpful, I'd say. Memorable mannerisms help, and you've got those in spades.

Oh, and of course, smoking and drinking automatically make you cooler. Can I bum a coffin nail?

[Delwugor]

GitP is one of the more friendly forums compared to many, so my advice is don't be a jerk. :smallbiggrin:

Some things I always keep in mind when posting:

My opinions are mine and other people have opinions that are theirs. We can discuss differing opinions but I don't need to persuade you that I'm right. I also don't need to aggressively defend myself when you point out something out or have a good point...instead I might actually think about it...hmmmm
Read you posts at least twice and ask how you would react if you where someone else reading it.
As others have said treat others just as if you where talking to them face to face. Everyone here is a real person and not just an avatar, well except for ...
Have some fun posting, if you are not having a good time on the internet then you are working. (As I post from work)
I personally avoid threads that are guaranteed to have a flamewar in it. Politics, Climate Control, the use of Nuclear Weapons as population control mechanism ... don't ask.
This is the internet and everyone on it is an expert on many, many things. I personally am an expert on at least 30 areas, in reality I'm an expert at 1 thing, pretty good at 3-4 more, an amateur on about 5 others, passing/common knowledge on another 10 and have absolutely no clue on the final 10.
Pay attention to posters here that are polite and are respected by others, then follow their examples because what they do works... BTW, don't follow me, I'm a horrible role-model.

[Trog]

Can I bum a coffin nail?

>>

*hands one over*



THIS POST BROUGHT TO YOU BY COFFIN NAIL™ BRAND CIGARETTES
http://home.centurytel.net/jeffsjunk/forumart/CoffinNailAd.gif

[TheLaughingMan]

So, I tried to stop a flame war and got a something I cannot name.. What does that entail?

[RabbitHoleLost]

So, I tried to stop a flame war and got an infraction. What does that entail?

First off- according to the rules, infractions and warnings and bannings should not be spoken of itP.
Second, with flaming and other such things, the mods and admins would rather you report the posts than get involved, 'cause then you're only escalating the problem.

THE MORE YOU KNOOOOOOOOOW ::shoots a rainbow off::

[onthetown]

Never eat in somebody else's car without their permission. *sagely nod*

Oh, on the forums? Just be nice and considerate and open-minded.

[TheLaughingMan]

Gotcha.


I'm doomed, aren't I?

[RabbitHoleLost]

Gotcha.


I'm doomed, aren't I?

Yes.

Naaaah, just be careful from now on. Re-read the rules if you feel you need to, just to know. Sometimes the best of us slip up and need to get a whack on the knuckles from those in Power.
Just take it as a lesson and move on. Be good.

[loopy]

*A troglodyte pokes his head into the thread, looks around, then enters, casually and lights up a Coffin Nail™ Brand cigarette*
[COLOR="Sienna"]

Just like always, Trog brightens my day. :smallbiggrin:

[Trog]

Just like always, Trog brightens my day. :smallbiggrin:
:smalleek: Er... really? Well thanks! :smile:

:smallbiggrin:

[Yarram]

You could always try the stay logged off until you post, post one message, then log off again strategy. I don't use it personally, but some very, very respected people here* have vouched** for it.


*Swordguy
**Made a passing reference to it being a good thing.

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of this... :smallredface: I'm sure there is a good reason though.

It may not be him though. I think it's true of all forums that more experienced users immediately respond with prejudice to newer users, who tend to copy the way other users interact, but don't have the history of familiarity behind them. This may be because they feel that the new users are taking their niche or identity? Or it could be some elitism thing. I don't really understand, even though I'm likely prone to do the same thing.

I've always felt that when someone says, "Open Minded," they mean it in the literal sense, where you have to be open for any kind of response, including the criticism/hazing that seems to arise in response to new users.

On the other hand, perhaps new users seem to make a whole string of unnecessary posts to establish their identity and existence in the same way that older users sometimes post in ways that don't contribute either to remind people that they're still around. It could be not elitism that seems to cause hazing, but rather annoyance that a new user feels the need to show everyone who they are, sometimes where it isn't relevant. For instance, this thread. I'd have never heard of The Laughing Man had he not posted here, as I skim over posts that don't seem to have content. Had he tried to make a deal of himself in an introduction thread I'd have ignored it, as most of our users come and go within a few months.

In conclusion, I've now decided do stop being annoyed by irrelevant posts from new users, and instead will use them as a measuring stick of their personality.

[Brewdude]

New to posting? Read these websites:

Flamewarriors (http://www.flamewarriors.com/)

Godwin's laws and corollaries. (http://www.faqs.org/faqs/usenet/legends/godwin/) (from it's origin on USENET--what the Internet used instead of message boards before the World Wide Web)

[Dogmantra]

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of this... :smallredface: I'm sure there is a good reason though.
I may be wrong, but I think the purpose is that if you get annoyed at something someone else says, and you're about to post a response, logging in gives you some time to think about it and realise that it's probably not a very good idea to tell them that their mother never loved them just because they happen to prefer heavy optimisation, low roleplaying games, for example. I tend to use the preview post function instead.

[Yarram]

Ah. Yeah I should have thought of that. :smalltongue:

[skywalker]

::shoots a rainbow off::

That's gotta be against the rules...


Gotcha.


I'm doomed, aren't I?

Just. Calm. Down.


On the other hand, perhaps new users seem to make a whole string of unnecessary posts to establish their identity and existence in the same way that older users sometimes post in ways that don't contribute either to remind people that they're still around. It could be not elitism that seems to cause hazing, but rather annoyance that a new user feels the need to show everyone who they are, sometimes where it isn't relevant. For instance, this thread. I'd have never heard of The Laughing Man had he not posted here, as I skim over posts that don't seem to have content. Had he tried to make a deal of himself in an introduction thread I'd have ignored it, as most of our users come and go within a few months.

Yes, quite.

[NeoRetribution]

Put a small cork between your teeth.

Then, read a complex poem while the cork is there.

The exercise will over-emphasize your enunciation.

Repeat as necessary for improvement of diction.

[Teddy]

Well, I sometimes think like this when a discussion starts to develope into a trench war (and since I love discussions, especially endless ones, I won't even consider stopping):
"Everyone here might as well be insane, so, to prove that I'm better (:smallwink:) right, I must remain sane and objective."

Here are some of my tips for a good and objective discussion:

Attack arguments instead of people. (Never heard that one before, have you? :smalltongue:)
Listen to your opponent(s) and consider if they might actually be right (while I love prolonged discussions, I still disdain when both parts entrench themselves at the opposite poles, even though they're really somewhere in the middle). Ironically enough, few things can be as disarming as agreeing that the opponent is correct in a few points.
Don't be afraid of refining or even changing some of your opinions as the discussion continues, but be prepared that you might have to explain why.

[Timberwolf]

My personal rules for any forum are...

Think twice, post once
Leave it to others to feed the trolls
Don't post that zinging comeback
Keep it cool
Remember there's another person, just as hot under the collar as you hitting the keyboard at the other end.
Remember, arguing on the internet is particularly daft and don't get into the discussion too far.

The first one is the most important.

[TheLaughingMan]

You guyyyyyys. I was trying to shut people up who were flaming each other.

[Cobalt]

Roland or the other Mods can handle it on their own. It's good that you were trying to stop flaming, but it's not the job of the regulars to do that. Reported posts are (from personal observation) handled by the end of whatever day it's reported, so if you see flaming, it's typically better to just report and move on. In a way, it's semi-selfish, but lashing out at people to try and stop them (especially when it gets you in trouble in the end, too) isn't the way to go.

Best to just move on. Eventually, all wounds heal.

'Cept instabans. But that's another story.

[KenderWizard]

You guyyyyyys. I was trying to shut people up who were flaming each other.

Even if that wasn't what you're not supposed to do, I still wouldn't! In real life, you've got some hope of calming an irrational argument; over the internet, where the two people arguing can just skip the posts other people are adding, it's just going to give you a headache!

Don't worry about it too much, though, you weren't being deliberately troublesome or rude, and now you know what not to do. I'm pretty new here myself, and I can say this is the friendliest forum I've been on, including one where I was real-life friends with almost everyone on it!

[TheLaughingMan]

On the other hand, perhaps new users seem to make a whole string of unnecessary posts to establish their identity and existence in the same way that older users sometimes post in ways that don't contribute either to remind people that they're still around. It could be not elitism that seems to cause hazing, but rather annoyance that a new user feels the need to show everyone who they are, sometimes where it isn't relevant. For instance, this thread. I'd have never heard of The Laughing Man had he not posted here, as I skim over posts that don't seem to have content. Had he tried to make a deal of himself in an introduction thread I'd have ignored it, as most of our users come and go within a few months.


For the record, I just now realized I should've put this in "Board/Site Issues."

And furthermore, I... am at a loss as to what you're saying. Apologies for my slow-wittidness.

Thanks to everyone who responded. I should probably be clear on some things before I go (that is, mostly leave this thread to itself):

*It was the Warcraft I.D. protest thing thread.

*Though flaming, the two had a mostly civil discussion.

*I was scrubbed for using a word that apparently wasn't censored. Ignoring that, it was a pretty basic "would you two just shut up, why can't you work together" post.

*After that some other (rather neutral) guy got scrubbed and the thread was locked.

You guys have been awesome. Thanks again. I'll try not to post any more irrelevant posts/threads, if that's what you meant, Yarram. Even if that's not what you meant, I shall resolve to do it anyways.

See you 'round, space cowboys.

P.S:

Just. Calm. Down.

Too dry?