"Useless" Magic Item Ideas

[NowhereMan583]

Somewhere - I forget exactly where - I read about a DM who would occasionally include interesting but useless magic items in treasure the party found. They had some minor, mundane effect, and it was left to the party to determine what they might be used for. The only example I can remember is a staff that, when stood on its end, could balance indefinitely.

I think this sounds like a good way to spice up otherwise dull treasure acquisitions without impacting the mechanics of the game. So, I was hoping that some of y'all might have suggestions as to what these "useless" items might be.

[Skeletor]

bag of infinite horse dung.

[Evard]

Well once my friend put in a dragon loot a stuffed dwarf (not not a real one just a doll) that when you squeezed it .. it would fart. I always thought he watched to much NCIS >.>

Make something like a magical ball that when rolled will continue to roll until acted upon! Wait....

[Defiant]

First time I DMed, I had an apprentice wizard making items that turned out to be failures.

For example, when the party walked by outside his apartment, they noticed a magical bag on the ground near the gutter.

Turns out it was a bag of tricks that spit out animals that would cough, wheeze, and die.

[Jack_Simth]

A few classics:
The Invisible Ring (the ring is invisible. It does not bestow this property on it's wearer).
The Indestructible Ring (ditto)
The Amulet of Additional Amulet Space. This amulet permits you to exceed the normal number of magical items you are permitted to wear, by giving you an additional amulet body slot. The Amulet of Additional Amulet space does itself, however, consume an Amulet slot. (Ditto for Rings)
Bag of Ejection: This magic bag acts like a bag of holding. However, exactly ten rounds after an item is put in the bag, the bag spits it back out, causing it to land on the ground of whatever square the bag happens to be in.

[Evard]

can the bag do damage... (as in something shooting out of it...)

Yes abusing a fail-item would be grand :3

caltrop trap!

[mabriss lethe]

stuff like:

A pot that heats itself, yet never burns its contents and can clean itself with a command word.

A hand mirror that shows you your "true reflection"

A deck of cards that always deals the same hand, no matter how it's cut

A champagne flute made out of force

A large artist's canvas that 'remembers' 10 paintings that have been painted onto it. and can be caused to shuffle through them with a command. If an 11th painting is added, then the artist must choose which one to delete.

A carpenter's hammer that never strikes flesh and never damages wood.

A carpet inlaid with what looks like a summoning circle. When used, it produces a cloud of dense smoke with two burning eyes in the middle and acts as the receptacle of a (suitably booming and distorted) ventriloquism effect.

[Beelzebub1111]

Let's see...
An everfull gravy boat.
A Red Herring of Clue Detection.


stuff like:

A pot that heats itself, yet never burns its contents and can clean itself with a command word.

A hand mirror that shows you your "true reflection"

A deck of cards that always deals the same hand, no matter how it's cut

A champagne flute made out of force

A large artist's canvas that 'remembers' 10 paintings that have been painted onto it. and can be caused to shuffle through them with a command. If an 11th painting is added, then the artist must choose which one to delete.

A carpenter's hammer that never strikes flesh and never damages wood.

A carpet inlaid with what looks like a summoning circle. When used, it produces a cloud of dense smoke with two burning eyes in the middle and acts as the receptacle of a (suitably booming and distorted) ventriloquism effect.
I may have to use these...

[Lord Vukodlak]

The Mirror of Jusenkyo.
Whom ever looks in this mirror sees themselves as the opposite gender. Even their clothing will be altered to match. So a man disguised as a woman whose viewed with this mirror would appear as a woman disguised as man.

The Coin of the Edge
When flipped this coin always lands on its edge.

The Pickle and Ice Cream maker,
This device produces a food called pickles an ice cream. Simply add milk, sugar, pickles and other ingredients and you have your own dish of pickles and ice cream.
*it can't actually make food from nothing you see*

The High Elf Zathress sought such an item because his pregnant drow wife demanded it.

[Lhurgyof]

The Window of Transparency.
The Bag of Breathing.
A Boomerang of Returning.
A Crossbow of only working when it's pointed directly at your cranium. xD
A Sword of Dullness.
A Robe of Noses.
A +1 knife of beardtrimming. (Although a useful tactic against dwarves)
The Book of Bureaucratic Droning. (The Lawful Neutral Book of Exalted Deeds)

If you need anymore ideas, I'd be willing to share. xD

[chiasaur11]

Duck that becomes totally impossible for a person to perceive if they wear it as a hat.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

The Mirror of Jusenkyo.
Whom ever looks in this mirror sees themselves as the opposite gender. Even their clothing will be altered to match. So a man disguised as a woman whose viewed with this mirror would appear as a woman disguised as man.

I would rather say that you roll percentile to determine what you appear to be in the mirror. There were more trainees from Jusenkyo than the gender-bender, after all.

[Beelzebub1111]

The Window of Transparency.
The Book of Bureaucratic Droning. (The True Neutral Book of Exalted Deeds)
Wouldn't that be LAWFUL neutral? Bureaucracy being the epitome of Law and Order.

[Lhurgyof]

Wouldn't that be LAWFUL neutral? Bureaucracy being the epitome of Law and Order.

Bah! How did I screw it up? A quick edit...

The Book of Beige Existing- The BoVD for the neutrals. "If I die, tell my wife 'hi'"

[gbprime]

Boomerang of Sharpness

[Icewraith]

A few classics:
The Invisible Ring (the ring is invisible. It does not bestow this property on it's wearer).
The Indestructible Ring (ditto)
The Amulet of Additional Amulet Space. This amulet permits you to exceed the normal number of magical items you are permitted to wear, by giving you an additional amulet body slot. The Amulet of Additional Amulet space does itself, however, consume an Amulet slot. (Ditto for Rings)
Bag of Ejection: This magic bag acts like a bag of holding. However, exactly ten rounds after an item is put in the bag, the bag spits it back out, causing it to land on the ground of whatever square the bag happens to be in.

The ring/amulet of additional space is still useful though, as standard magical effects can be added to it for standard cost, as per MiC. Granted they can also be added to whatever ACTUAL amulet you want to wear, but if someone tries to sunder your amulet you only lose say, half of your magical amulet effects. An indestructible ring of protection and additional space would be quite valuable and extremely useful, never mind using the indestructible rings to craft indestructible (brass-type) knuckles.

And I agree, the bag of ejection could make a nifty trap.

I think the best it would be possible to do is go for "limited usefulness" magic items, like the Monster Fun Grimoire by the noted transmuter Colocheraz "Chaz" Ardwin. The book conveys upon the reader completely accurate knowledge of the monster he intends to face by shapechanging into said monster and attempting to kill the reader. Specific monsters are beyond the purvey of this book. (i.e. if an archwizard wanted to learn how to defeat the colossal Red Dragon V'Lotsoxes the book would turn into a colossal red dragon, but not the specific Red Dragon with its knowledge, magical defenses, items and so forth) The book actively scans the surface thoughts of anyone touching the book for monsters it should turn into. Ardwin locked the book up after realizing it worked "too well," his mage tower was utterly destroyed and the book presumed lost several years later, with divinations giving no indication as to why an ice colossus would suddenly grow out of the tower, stomp the remains flat, and freeze the surrounding mile of terrain so thoroughly it eventually formed the notorious "Chaz Glacier," as several hundred years of locals call it.

[Lhurgyof]

Mirror Glasses- let's you see your own eyes.

Bedroll of Vermin- One can only guess.

Robe of Things Only Useful In Specific Situations - Holds one 3 1/2 foot ladder, a sewer lid, a skeleton key that works for the drunken kank tavern room number 3, a shutter to a window, a small stone statue of Garl Glittergold, and a rake.

Potion of Invisibility- Your body, but only your body becomes invisible.

The Holy Dictionary of Fharlanghn- Guide to pronouncing this name.

The Holy Dictionary of the Sverfneblin- See Above.

The Vuvuzela of Diplomacy- This annoying, loud insturment gives the user +2 diplomacy and +2 to all bluff checks to heckle. Spellcasters hearing a vuvuzela must make a DC 22 concentration check to cast spells.

Guantlets of Aragon- The wearer of these leather guantlets gains the feat Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Dwarves as well as the Throw Anything feat.

Vorpal Spoon- Self explanitory. Maybe it could have an ego as well.

Hand of the Rocker- Brings into life a quasi-real hand throwing up the horns.

The 20 Dollar Bill of Very Limited Wish- One time use only, costs one 20-dollar bill handed to the GM.

The Ever-full Cart- Always has more miscellaneous junk than you could hope to carry.

Claws of the House Cat- These gloves, when fitted over the owner's hands, give him the deadly claw of a house cat.

[Jergmo]

A book that reads itself aloud.

[Xyk]

I've been thinking up a low-level villain based in a circus. I think he will use many of these.

And some more!

The Umbrella of Rain- An umbrella which, when opened, creates a light rain inside it. The water vanishes after one minute (to avoid using it as a decanter of endless water).

The Cushion of Warmth- A cushion which always stays at a comfortably warm temperature. It is also soft.

The Colored Cape- It's a cape that changes colors at will and will also replicate simple patterns.

The Ever-Level Table- A table which requires a DC 30 Strength check to become anything but absolutely level. When put on a ramp, it remains level to the earth, defying gravity. Depending on the surface, it may slide.

The Coin of Absolute Failure- A coin which will always land on the side which will act negatively upon its flipper.

Cuddly-Wuddly the Huggably Soft Stuffed Bear- This teddy bear requires 1d4 hugs at every glance. This is not negotiable. Each hug lasts one round. (That would be both extremely useful and funny)

[ShneekeyTheLost]

A wonderfully huge instrument, not unlike this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBnJkgLRgRU) one. All it does is play various tunes on itself. It weighs over two tons, and is build into the foundation of the building, so it can be neither lifted nor used as a projectile.

[Skeletor]

boots of sneaking.

Boots that will silently sneak in a straight line, but only if no one is wearing them.

[The Shadowmind]

A garden gnome statue with true seeing. The non-sentient statue has true seeing, it doesn't grant it. Garden gnomes are always watching you.

[Jergmo]

A wonderfully huge instrument, not unlike this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBnJkgLRgRU) one. All it does is play various tunes on itself. It weighs over two tons, and is build into the foundation of the building, so it can be neither lifted nor used as a projectile.

Whoa, easy now. Some players will take that as a challenge.

[Beelzebub1111]

Whoa, easy now. Some players will take that as a challenge.
I can attest to that, My fellow party members tried to steal Tensir's throne by RIPPING IT OUT OF THE FLOOR!

for those that don't know, Tensir's throne is giant sapphire that was carved into the floor.

[Lhurgyof]

A +3 Plunger. That's it. A +3 Plunger.

Belt of Elven Fortitude- -2 penalty to constitution, and gives you elf ears. xD

Boots of Hippo Fall- You take all falling damage as if you were one size category higher.

The Pole of Balancing- The pole always balances on one end, but never helps a player balance at all.

Shoes of Silly Walks- Causes you to walk in embarrassing and odd ways.

Blindfold of Sight- Allows you to see like you normally would.

Secretive Paper- Erases itself after 6 minutes.

Pen of Limited Ink- Has enough ink to write roughly 7/8 of a page.

Bowling Ball of Returning- Self explanitory

Merciful Saw- Only deals sub-dual damage, even to objects. xD

[Icewraith]

Mechanical Parrot

Every 1d3 rounds this mechanical parrot made out of adamantine repeats a fragment of something that was said within the last 10 minutes, embarrasing to the current wearer at the DM's discretion. If allowed to perch on the shoulder it acts as a cursed stone of weight. Each day the wearer must make a dc 15 will save or be forced to alter his or her appearance closer to that of a pirate's. (Wearer may be compelled to wear an eyepatch, acquire a beard, get a tattoo, develop a frequent motor tick that requires them to say "Arrr" etc)

The parrot is only removable by removing the offending shoulder, the death of the wearer, break enchantment, or more powerful magic.

Offering the parrot a portion of any baked good and speaking the ritual words "polly wanna cracker?" removes the curse's stone of weight effect for 1d6 hours. The parrot may, at the DM's discretion, be more favorable to the wearer in its choice of phrases but will not shut up.

"It's the perfect parrot!"- Borge Knobbywinkle, Gnomish Tinker

[Icewraith]

A wonderfully huge instrument, not unlike this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBnJkgLRgRU) one. All it does is play various tunes on itself. It weighs over two tons, and is build into the foundation of the building, so it can be neither lifted nor used as a projectile.

Throw the building. Problem solved. :smallbiggrin:

[Ormur]

The endlessly stirring teaspoon in a teacup is a classic.

[The-Mage-King]

Mechanical Parrot

Every 1d3 rounds this mechanical parrot made out of adamantine repeats a fragment of something that was said within the last 10 minutes, embarrasing to the current wearer at the DM's discretion. If allowed to perch on the shoulder it acts as a cursed stone of weight. Each day the wearer must make a dc 15 will save or be forced to alter his or her appearance closer to that of a pirate's. (Wearer may be compelled to wear an eyepatch, acquire a beard, get a tattoo, develop a frequent motor tick that requires them to say "Arrr" etc)

The parrot is only removable by removing the offending shoulder, the death of the wearer, break enchantment, or more powerful magic.

Offering the parrot a portion of any baked good and speaking the ritual words "polly wanna cracker?" removes the curse's stone of weight effect for 1d6 hours. The parrot may, at the DM's discretion, be more favorable to the wearer in its choice of phrases but will not shut up.

"It's the perfect parrot!"- Borge Knobbywinkle, Gnomish Tinker

...I want one...

[The Pressman]

Duck that becomes totally impossible for a person to perceive if they wear it as a hat.

Ahahaha! I get it!

Anyways, how about a pillow, the other side of which gives the illusion of being cool.

[Lhurgyof]

The Glasses of Disguise- One of those glasses/nose/mustache combos.

The Hands of Dwarf- Gives the user chubby dwarf hands.

Pencil of Erasing

Air Horn of Silence

Double-Handled Sword

Grain Bane Sickle

Wheat Bane Scythe

Hoe of the Commoner- +20 Vorpal, Keen, Flaming, Acidic, Shocking Hoe, but only in the hands of a commoner.

Anti-Gravity Boots- Boots float, but being worn by a humanoid causes them to become unbalanced and float upside-down.

Cape (or Carpet) of Flying- Can only support its own weight.

Everburning and Eversmoking Cigar.

I remember my DM had an item that was a coin. If it was flipped and caught, it would always land heads. If it dropped to the floor, it would always land on-edge.

[Glimbur]

Pole of Balancing: this ordinary looking wooden pole, if left to its own devices, will balance on one end. How much weight it can support is up to the DM.

Mirror of Selective Reflection: It's a one-way mirror. The other way, it is a window. Magic!

Pipes of Sewage: When these pan-pipes are played the aroma of raw sewage fills the area.

Glove of Holding: Will attach to one item with an unbreakable grip. Choose the item wisely, and remember that the glove can still come off of your hand... with some effort.

[Starscream]

bag of infinite horse dung.

Any player who can't come up with some marvelously sadistic uses for that just isn't trying


Duck that becomes totally impossible for a person to perceive if they wear it as a hat.

...You, sir, are awesome.

How about:

* The Luggage That Doesn't Hold Quite As Much As It Seems Like It Should.
* Keys that can open any door...if you could just remember where you left them.
* A magical Bard instrument that gives +10 to perform checks...in the form of a tuba.
* A magic mirror that can guess what number you are thinking of, most of the time.
* The Portable Hole That's Always Full of Sauerkraut.
* Tome of Sparkling Vampires: It's like the Tome of Clear Thoughts, but reading it reduces your intelligence.
* Talisman of summoning the dread Flumphthulu
* Gauntlents of Ogre Scent
* The Modronomicon

[Fuzzie Fuzz]

Tada! Here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79541)'s the thread in question. And yes, I have used many of these. And yes, my players did manage to use them to great effect. Be very careful when giving them anything that seems useless. It probably isn't. Especially when combined with something else useless.

[Skeppio]

Gelatinous Shield
Buttocks of Vecna
Vorpal Parchment (Deadliest paper cut ever)
Flail of Fail
Helmet of Cranial Coverage
I Lose Button (Note: Tier 1 classes cannot activate this item)
Tome of Horrid Fanfiction

[NowhereMan583]

A few ideas:

Hat of Dye: As the Hat of Disguise, but it can't make anything a different shape, only a different color.
Amulet of Detect Species: Will announce the species of the creature wearing the amulet.
Diminutive Golem of Trap Detection: A very small, very stupid, completely mute figurine that, when activated, will walk in a straight line until deactivated. Oh, and it automatically detects any traps that are present - which it carefully avoids setting off. It would, of course, be unbelievably useful if it had any way of communicating with the PCs.
Earmuffs of What?: When the command word is spoken, these make the sound of a small explosion, causing the ears of everyone within fifty feet to ring for ten minutes, giving a -10 to Listen checks. The command word, which cannot be changed, is "What".
Wand of Detect Neutrality: By expending a charge, you can detect whether a neutral creature is present in the immediate vicinity.
Earrings of the Gist: The wearer of these earrings cannot hear anything said in any language. However, the earrings will provide the wearer with a brief summary of anything that is said, cutting out all the detail and fluff. (Many players seem to own these OOC.)
Bracelets of Casual Acquaintance: These two bracelets move towards each other at a speed of 1 foot per day. The effect cannot be deactivated, and has an infinite range. If worn, the bracelet cannot force the wearer to move, but the wearer can feel a mild, almost apathetic pressure indicating the general direction in which the bracelet would move, given the chance.

[Ajadea]

Eyes of the Blind: Blindfold allows you to see invisible creatures despite the fact you're blindfolded. You still suffer all the penalties of being blinded.

Security Blanket
+10 morale bonus to AC and +10 morale bonus to Will saves against fear when held by a child, cursed (always with you) and -5 penalty to Will saves when not held by a child. Can be held as a shield or worn as a mantle.

[Icewraith]

Hat of cranial capacity. This Magical Hat always fits your head (and only your head) comfortably.

[Thiyr]

Personal favorite one that I actually decided to craft in a game I am in. Because sometimes my ogre needs to come with me to deal with the upper class.

Crunch's Everfresh Silver Pantaloons - These large sized, silver colored pantaloons clean the wearer of any mundane, non-harmful material which would cause them to emit an unpleasing odor. In addition, they emit a subtle, pleasant scent of fresh, plain oatmeal in their place.

[Lord Vukodlak]

* The Luggage That Doesn't Hold Quite As Much As It Seems Like It Should.

Smaller on the inside, could be used to drive a rogue mad who looks for the secret compartment,

[dgnslyr]

Ahahaha! I get it!

Anyways, how about a pillow, the other side of which gives the illusion of being cool.

If we're going with useless magic items, how about a pillow whose other side has been enchanted to be uncomfortably warm? A pillow with an always cool side would be too useful.

[Lord Vukodlak]

If we're going with useless magic items, how about a pillow whose other side has been enchanted to be uncomfortably warm? A pillow with an always cool side would be too useful.

You don't quite get it, the other side has the illusion of being cool, the moment you flip it over the illusion is gone as it isn't the otherside anymore.

[Stone Heart]

"Whoa, OK, seriously, dudes, I got it: A bag... that you can pull animals out of" Hooray Bag of Tricks!

Other than that how about the:

Nearsighted glasses of true seeing- allows true seeing as long as it is closer than the tip of your nose.

The Helmet of shaving cream- whenever someone tries to put it on it fills itself with shaving cream.

The ok greatsword- a greatsword thats not all that great.

[RndmNumGen]

Scroll of Cure Blindness

[Katana_Geldar]

You are thinking of Shamus? (http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=692)

I love these ideas, BTW.

[NowhereMan583]

You are thinking of Shamus? (http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=692)

I love these ideas, BTW.

Yes! Thank you; that is indeed what I was remembering.:smallsmile:

[Beorn080]

Everfull sippy cup. Once attuned to the drinker, it is always full of their preferred beverage and cannot spill. However, if anyone other then the attuned drinks from it, it only supplies warm milk and always leaks.

[Balain]

I believe it was sometime during 2nd edition had a set of books called Encyclopedia Magica. Had every magic item from pretty much every source..."Design; It is impossible to list all of the creators of the items cataloged in these volumes, but credit goes to everyone who has created a magic item in a module, boxed set, accessory, hardbound, or magazine article published in the last 20 years."

I Still try to throw in some of the odd items from there. Like the teddy bear that helps you go to sleep.


In one campaign that I was a player, we found this bag. It was a Yeti scrotum bag of holding and sustenance. Yup it was a bag of holding made out of a yeti scrotum that acted like a ring of sustenance if you suck on it for at least 5 minutes each day. We even had pictures of it and it would show up in any one of our campaigns after it's first appearance.

It has become a legandary artifact in our campaigns now lol

[Tyrmatt]

Bag of Tricks - When you put your hands in it, a random magical effect occurs, such as your fingers being caught in a mousetrap, being shocked with a joybuzzer or a small explosion coats your face in soot.

[Ravens_cry]

Bag of Tricks - When you put your hands in it, a random magical effect occurs, such as your fingers being caught in a mousetrap, being shocked with a joybuzzer or a small explosion coats your face in soot.
Or as I would call it, a kender trap.
Goblet/Tankard of Dealcoholization.
A favoured item of human diplomats to dwarven lands, this item, available in tankard or goblet form, allowed one to drink the most potent brews without fear of being knocked on your ass on the first sip.

[nedz]

A Ring of Invisibility, Self
The wearer is invisible, but only to themselves

[wick]

2nd ED had had some compendiums of magic items. some where useful but it also had lots of very minor magic items as well that were more of a neat esthetic rather than having game mechanics effect.

[hamishspence]

Bah! How did I screw it up? A quick edit...

The Book of Beige Existing- The BoVD for the neutrals. "If I die, tell my wife 'hi'"

There's already a BoVD for Neutrals (Book of Perfect Balance)- and a Talisman of Neutrality (both are in Underdark), and Regalia of Neutrality (in Arms & Equipment Guide).

[hamishspence]

Wand of Detect Neutrality: By expending a charge, you can detect whether a neutral creature is present in the immediate vicinity.

That would come in very handy when dealing with Neutral fiends (who, as written, will ping on Detect Evil, but not on Detect Good.

A Good fiend will ping on both Detect Good and Detect Evil- but a Neutral one won't.

So if this fiend is "halfway to redemption" so to speak, or is a neutral Cambion - a fiend from Expedition to the Demonweb Pits (all Cambions have the Evil subtype, but only 90% are actually Evil) then this wand will actually help.

[Jeff the Green]

The Bastard Sword
An otherwise normal looking bastard sword, when used to harm a good creature screams "You bastard!" at its wielder.

The OK-Sword
Not exactly a greatsword, but it'll do.

Wand of Friendship
When activated, the target creature becomes your best friend. You do not necessarily become theirs.

[Kurald Galain]

One of the more famous magical items I've placed in a campaign was the Ring of Weather Protection. Basically, you could walk through rain or snow without getting wet, and whenever the weather was uncomfortable but not actually dangerous, this weather would be negated for the wearer. Party members actually ended up fighting for possession of this item.

[Jack_Simth]

can the bag do damage... (as in something shooting out of it...)

Not of itself, no.


Yes abusing a fail-item would be grand :3

caltrop trap!
That'd work, though.

The ring/amulet of additional space is still useful though, as standard magical effects can be added to it for standard cost, as per MiC. Granted they can also be added to whatever ACTUAL amulet you want to wear, but if someone tries to sunder your amulet you only lose say, half of your magical amulet effects.
Ah, how often do you run across Sundering effects in your games? Generally, player's don't sunder because it cuts into their wealth. DM's don't sunder either by treaty, or because it makes sense for NPC's to want to avoid sundering for the same reason PC's do.

Oh yes, and:
1) You could just wear your amulet under your armor, which is immune to Sundering.
2) Not every DM allows that MiC rule.

An indestructible ring of protection and additional space would be quite valuable and extremely useful, never mind using the indestructible rings to craft indestructible (brass-type) knuckles.

Requires stacking, which not all DM's will allow... and again, just put them under the gauntlets that come with most armors. And if stacking is permitted, you just stack all the properties you actually want on a single ring.


And I agree, the bag of ejection could make a nifty trap.

Yeah, if you load it with the right stuff, and someone happens to be walking by at that ten-round point. Would be annoying to make it work, but it could.



Grain Bane Sickle

Wheat Bane Scythe

Any magic item requires at least a +1 inherent bonus - so if these are "standard" magic weapons with a mostly-useless Bane property, they're still +1 weapons.


Hoe of the Commoner- +20 Vorpal, Keen, Flaming, Acidic, Shocking Hoe, but only in the hands of a commoner.

Three words: Use Magic Device.


Earmuffs of What?: When the command word is spoken, these make the sound of a small explosion, causing the ears of everyone within fifty feet to ring for ten minutes, giving a -10 to Listen checks. The command word, which cannot be changed, is "What".
Simple solution: Unseen Servant drops them. Rogue, hiding, shouts "what" from outside the 50 foot range. Now the Paladin in full plate can walk past while under the effects of an Invisibility spell, and has a decent chance to be unheard.


Earrings of the Gist: The wearer of these earrings cannot hear anything said in any language. However, the earrings will provide the wearer with a brief summary of anything that is said, cutting out all the detail and fluff. (Many players seem to own these OOC.)

Useful if you don't know many languages, as it gives you the gist of what was said.


Bracelets of Casual Acquaintance: These two bracelets move towards each other at a speed of 1 foot per day. The effect cannot be deactivated, and has an infinite range. If worn, the bracelet cannot force the wearer to move, but the wearer can feel a mild, almost apathetic pressure indicating the general direction in which the bracelet would move, given the chance.
Leave one in an iron box at home, carry the other. You now don't get lost in the woods. Alternately, affix one of them to an item you don't want to lose.

Scroll of Cure Blindness
The Scholar's Touch spell, or the DC 25 "Activate Blindly" UMD check DC.


The Bastard Sword
An otherwise normal looking bastard sword, when used to harm a good creature screams "You bastard!" at its wielder.

So it's a rather painful alignment test. Useful for a Paladin.


The OK-Sword
Not exactly a greatsword, but it'll do.
But it's still a sword...



Wand of Friendship
When activated, the target creature becomes your best friend. You do not necessarily become theirs.
No, but if you can convince your opponent that it's a wand of Charm Monster or some such...

[panaikhan]

I have actually seen some 'slightly odd' items published in compendiums over the years.
My actual favorite, is the "Helm of 40-watt Brilliance"
It only works if donned by a character with a single-figure Int score, and is basically a device for DM's to give the players helpful hints when they all suffer common sense failure.
"Hmmmmmmm...... incoming transmission from the Giant Head..."

Other items (some of which are my own)
The Wand of Windows - will put an unbreakable locked (DC40) window in any brickwork less than 5' thick.
the +5 backscratcher.
The Haemophobic vorpal sword - it faints at the sight of blood, gaining the consistency (and sharpness) of rubber for 3D6 rounds.

A variation on the invisibility ring - this deludes the wearer into thinking they are invisible, when in fact it only renders all their belongings invisible...

[Snake-Aes]

The +5 Against Stupid maul.

[Chronos Flame]

Gloves of Punching (Or boots of kicking as a foot slot)- When activated this item allows the wearer to make an unarmed attack as if he was armed. Activating this item is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity.

Amulet of Illusionary Wardrobe- The wearer of this item must not wear any clothing. As a swift action the wearer can change the appearance of the illusionary clothes he/she is wearing. Any onlookers are allowed a DC 14 will save to disbelieve the illusion.

[Shpadoinkle]

The curly stick. It's a quarterstaff. No bonuses to hit or damage.

Get it wet, and it curls up like a spring. As it dries out it gradually straightens again.

We actually found uses for this.

[Coplantor]

Duck that becomes totally impossible for a person to perceive if they wear it as a hat.

:smalleek: I dont get it

[hamishspence]

It's a reference to the Duck Man from Discworld, a beggar who's pretty normal in every other way, and quite intelligent- but has a duck on his head and whenever people mention it, his response is "What duck?"

[Ravens_cry]

Gloves of Punching (Or boots of kicking as a foot slot)- When activated this item allows the wearer to make an unarmed attack as if he was armed. Activating this item is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity.
Make them gauntlets of punching for double the uselessness.



Amulet of Illusionary Wardrobe- The wearer of this item must not wear any clothing. As a swift action the wearer can change the appearance of the illusionary clothes he/she is wearing. Any onlookers are allowed a DC 14 will save to disbelieve the illusion.
Clothing fit for the vainest Emperor!

[Allanimal]

Gloves of Punching

At first I thought that said gloves of pudding and though, "now that's useless!". Then I thought "Mmmmm.... pudding!" and drooled a little bit.

[Flickerdart]

At first I thought that said gloves of pudding and though, "now that's useless!". Then I thought "Mmmmm.... pudding!" and drooled a little bit.
Remember that in D&D, even pudding (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/ooze.htm) is dangerous.

[Ravens_cry]

:smalleek: I dont get it
Bugrit, Millennium hand and shrimp! Know you not of. .The Duck Man? (http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/The_Duck_Man)

[Starshade]

What about a rock with odd runes carved on it, who upon reading the magic command word (who can be found out by reading the runes), it turn into a black pudding.

Not the D&D monster, but the kind who's eaten. :smallamused:
If they leave a slice or pieces of it after eating breakfast, they'd have a handy gizmo providing a bit of food for them. :smallbiggrin:
Edit: Id suggest one use a day, to make shure they dont live off it.

[Ravens_cry]

What about a rock with odd runes carved on it, who upon reading the magic command word (who can be found out by reading the runes), it turn into a black pudding.

Not the D&D monster, but the kind who's eaten. :smallamused:
If they leave a slice or pieces of it after eating breakfast, they'd have a handy gizmo providing a bit of food for them. :smallbiggrin:
Yeah, but when the whole party has them, it turns into a real sausage-fest.:smalltongue:
<insert sting here/> (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0PIdWdw15U)

[NowhereMan583]

Simple solution: Unseen Servant drops them. Rogue, hiding, shouts "what" from outside the 50 foot range. Now the Paladin in full plate can walk past while under the effects of an Invisibility spell, and has a decent chance to be unheard.

Well, the point of this particular one is that it's too easy to set off by accident. Sure, in several situations it could be useful, but I'm betting that the number of times it is useful will be outweighed by the number of times someone sets it off accidentally.

And, of course, once you've set it off, even if you did it intentionally, it's going to keep going off... because everyone's partially deaf and yelling "WHAT?" at each other.

[nedz]

How about the following set of useful items.
(They all come in shiney white for some reason)
Jug which heats some water
Box which cools things
Box which cooks things
Box which cleans your clothes
Box which dries your clothes
Box which cleans your pots
Box which browns slices of bread

[Bharg]

Intelligent Telepathic Amulett that says what the wearer is thinking in a loud, cold, chilling voice with a 6 second delay. Prevent it from saying your what you are thinking loudly with a Will save, but then it will just improvise and say something nasty or stupid or something that may be disastrous for you. Of course, you can't remove it yourself.
And you can't hear it yourself. :>

[Funkyodor]

I like the idea mentioned about the book that reads the page opened to aloud.

How about:
Earmuffs of pleasant slumber - Applies a -15 listen check "Damn it! Pass me those earmuffs Earl, the stupid Dwarf's passed out drunk again!"

Tasty Melon - When planted, 1d3 Tasty Melons grow within 15 minutes. Flavors range from watermelon, cantelope, honeydew, kiwi, squash, and pork. Tasty Melons never spoil, but each melon consumed has a one in twenty chance of causing horrendous diarrhea. "Hah! Look at Earl run, he must have gotten a bad melon!"

Ball of Bright Lights - When rolled, flickering multi-colored lights shine from the surface. "Hey Earl, what the heck am I supposed to do with this shiny ball? I guess maybe it'll entertain the Halfling enough so he wont rob us blind tonight."

[NowhereMan583]

Ball of Bright Lights - When rolled, flickering multi-colored lights shine from the surface. "Hey Earl, what the heck am I supposed to do with this shiny ball? I guess maybe it'll entertain the Halfling enough so he wont rob us blind tonight."

I like this one. An intelligent group of players would be able to put it to use, so they'll appreciate finding it, but its use is so limited that it won't shift the game balance. (I'm not, of course, thinking of its primary use as Halfling Distraction, but rather as an unreliable light spell or strategic diversion.)

[Balain]

I saw this in a dragon magazine I think.

Wand of curing. 1 - 20 charges. Each charge can cure upto 5 lbs of beef.

[Ravens_cry]

I like the idea mentioned about the book that reads the page opened to aloud.

How about:
Tasty Melon - When planted, 1d3 Tasty Melons grow within 15 minutes. Flavors range from watermelon, cantelope, honeydew, kiwi, squash, and pork. Tasty Melons never spoil, but each melon consumed has a one in twenty chance of causing horrendous diarrhea. "Hah! Look at Earl run, he must have gotten a bad melon!"

I remember that one from an old Dragon magazine. There was also a spicy mustard that gave you fire breathing capabilities temporarily.

[Ditto]

We had a glove that would spray confetti and play 'The final countdown' on command. Gnomes gave them out at crowdpleasers at parades.

[cd4]

A potion of invisibility that when drunk turns your entire digestive system invisible.

[Ravens_cry]

A potion of invisibility that when drunk turns your entire digestive system invisible.

The real question being, how could you tell?

[Swordguy]

I believe it was sometime during 2nd edition had a set of books called Encyclopedia Magica. Had every magic item from pretty much every source..."Design; It is impossible to list all of the creators of the items cataloged in these volumes, but credit goes to everyone who has created a magic item in a module, boxed set, accessory, hardbound, or magazine article published in the last 20 years."

I Still try to throw in some of the odd items from there. Like the teddy bear that helps you go to sleep.

Arabel's Huggable Bear! Yes! That was the very first item I stole from the Encyclopedia Magica and updated to d20. I have mined so very many unique items out of those books, it's not even funny. Phenomenal resource.

[senrath]

The real question being, how could you tell?

You drink it after you drink the potion that turns everything but your digestive system invisible.

[Coplantor]

The real question being, how could you tell?

Because your teeth and tongue are part of the digestive system too.

[Ravens_cry]

Because your teeth and tongue are part of the digestive system too.
Wow, that would be eerie.

[Daitini Peck]

I silver fork of chicken bane.


Which actually led to something pretty interesting. Long story short, the rogue got the fighter to admit that he's a big chicken.

Bam. Got stabbed for 1d2+3+2d6:smallyuk:

[reptilecobra13]

I found these a long time ago. Spoilered for length and the fact that I have been saving this in a word doc (I think it still has some of the original comments from the thread where I found it). Just a word of warning. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at several points while reading this list. If you're not near adequate padding, it's not my fault. :smallbiggrin:

Ring of Three Wishes:
This beautiful silver ring is set with three rubies. When worn the ring will vocally make three wishes. Once the third wish has been made the wearer disintegrates.

Ring of Chameleon Power:
A simple wooden ring that triples the length of the users tongue. Any action involving the use of of the wearers tongue will gain a +10 bonus.

Ring of Wizardry:
This delicately crafted brass ring is covered in elaborate esoteric runes and markings. Wearing it will instantly dry off any character with at least one level in wizard.

Ring of Spell 'Turning'
When the wearer is struck by an arcane spell, the ring produces a prestidigitation effect that spells out, audibly and visually, the word "turning" in the wearer's native tongue. If the wearer has no verbal or written language, the ring functions as a ring of spell turning.
>> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:22 No.4680507
Scroll of Scrolling:
A scroll that comes with a little black bar drawn along one of its sides. Running your finger along the bar will simultaneously make one end of the scroll roll itself up, while the other end unravels.

Helm of opposite alignment:
Despite the wearers best efforts this helmet never seems to fit his head quite right.

Potion of Spider Climb:
This potion allows the user to climb spiders. Any arachnid touched by the user must make a fort save or turn to stone and act as an immovable rod as long as the user maintains hold on the creature.
>> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:40 No.4680623
I love this thread but have nothing to contribute.

Carry on.

Bag of Unuseless Items

Three times daily, an item may be removed from the bag. This item will always be functional and potentially useful but never without another specific item. For example, an unsharpened pencil, an axe handle, or an empty lantern with no wick would all be acceptable products of the bag.

Boots of Haste
When activated, makes your legs move really fast. You must succeed on a DEX check (DC 15) or trip yourself whenever you try to move. You take -20 on all balance checks.

Periapt of Health +8
Buffs your CON as normal, but only works if used as a buttplug. The periapt is rather large and jagged.

Oil of slipperiness
So slippery that the stopper won't stay on the bottle, and the oil itself readily spills out.

Belt of the elffriend
Grants you +2DEX and low-light vision. As long as you wear this belt, elves find you hauntingly desirable. Regardless of their alignment, gender and social standing. The effect ends when you remove the belt.

Bag of Holding.
It sticks to your hand, or causes cramps. Whenever you try to drop the bag, you must succeed on a Will save (DC22) or fail.

Staff of INVINCIBILITY
This staff may not be damaged or destroyed under any circumstances

Axe of MANLINESS
Any female character wielding this item is temporarily turned into a male character. No effect on males or elves.

Beer of ANIHILATION
Instantly fatal when swallowed. Causes cataclysms when spilled.

Ring of Animal magnetism.
Any animal with this ring in it's possesion gains a strong magnetic field. Characters must pass a strength test to hold onto weapons while near this animal.

Resonance stone
A round crystal ball about the size of an egg. Vibrates eternally for reasons not yet understood.

>> Guardsman Ted 05/27/09(Wed)14:18 No.4680951

>>4680941
>Ring of Animal magnetism.
Any animal with this ring in it's possesion gains a strong magnetic field. Characters must pass a strength test to hold onto weapons while near this animal.

Oh so easy to abuse. Just add spikes!

>> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:20 No.4680972

>>4680941
>Resonance Stone

There are one hundred and twenty-seven of these in all of creation.

They must never be united.

>> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:21 No.4680979

>Resonance stone
Come ON, who can't see a use for that?

>> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:22 No.4680987

>>4680941
>A round crystal ball about the size of an egg. Vibrates eternally for reasons not yet understood.

I can think of some uses.

Glasses of True Seeing: These glasses see everything. Whether or not they let the wearer see as well is up to the glasses.

Codpiece of elongation: An enchanted codpiece that increases the length of the penis, but only as long as it is worn.

Pen of dictation: This pen tells people what it wants them to write.

Ring of Eyes: It is a ring with a large eye on it. When activated, the user will see what that eye sees. Only works when worn.

Ring of Eire: It is a ring from the magical Green Island. Any food or drink touched by the hand wearing this ring will instantly cause it to change colour into various shades of green.

Ring of Mad-Jick: A ring created by an insane jeweleer named Jickard. It is black, red and purple, and when you look at it you must make a Fort. save or become slightly nauseous.

Ring of Free Auction - A ring that when worn, instantly makes the wearer win an any auctions in the vicinity. Only works once a day.

Blade of the "I'm Mortal": When you wield this ordinary looking blade, you are overcome with the feeling that one day, you are going to die. Roll a Will save.
Ring of Tree Wishes: A simple wooden ring, that will make any dream come true, as long as you are a tree of some kind.

Deck of Many Things
Activating this scale model transports you to an extradimensional patio full of random items, monsters, and such, and one barbecue

Bag of Holding
When asked to, the bag will wrap itself around an item to prevent it from falling to the ground. It will give the item back to you when you ask it.

Amulet of the Planes
By speaking mathematical statements, the gem on this amulet will render Cartesian planes as per the request

Belt of Dwarvenkind
While wearing this belt, the wearer is forced to be nice to dwarves

Feather Token
May be traded at any shop for one feather

Decanter of Endless Walter: When you pour anything from this cursed decanter, some dude named Walter shows up, and starts talking about anything and nothing, non-stop. Only way to get rid of him is to kill him
Wand of Disintegration

When evoked, this wand disintegrates.

Sovereign Glue
When applied to a ruling throne, the next person to sit in the throne is instantly made ruler of whatever the throne is indicative of (for instance, sitting on a king's throne will make you the undisputed king). The downside is that you are unable to stand up off the throne ever again.

Plus one sword.

When in battle this sword has another sword magically appear on it at an odd angle. This gives -2 penalty to the wielder as it tends to throw the weight off.

Phylactery of Undead Turning: By saying the command word, this phylactery causes all undead within 30ft to turn around.

Robe and Wizard Hat: Anyone may put on both of these items as a single standard action.

Tome of Misunderstanding: This heavy book contains instruction on languages around the world, but entwined within the words is a powerful magical effect. If anyone reads this book, which takes a total of 48 hours over a minimum of six days, then she becomes unable to communicate with people properly, instead sounding like a bad translation phrase book. This effect is permanent.

Sovereign Glue: This glue is able to stick together almost anything. Unfortunately, it only works for kings, queens, emperors, and other such royalty.

The 12 rings of power.
Bestowing immortality to any who wear all 12, one on each finger.
Potion of Eagle Eye: Your eyes become eagles, they stick their heads out of your eye sockets and screech menacingly at anyone who approaches you. The eagles will bite your fingers if you bring them close to your face

Horn of basting: When this horn is sounded, all roasted meats within 20' become flavorful and juicy.

Minor pick of tunneling: When this two inch tall pick-axe strikes soil/stone/clay/ect it creates a 5x5x40 millimeter tunnel to appear.

Shield of Sonic resistance: Provides full protection from hedgehogs.

Dwarven plate armor: Dwarf sized armor made of finely crafted dishes, saucers, tea cups, flagons, and a gravy boat helmet.

Breastplate of Command

This finely crafted +2 breastplate radiates a powerful aura of magic. When worn, the armor bestows a dignified and commanding aura upon its owner. The wearer gains a +2 competence bonus on all Charisma checks, including turning checks and Charisma-based skill checks with males. The wearer also gains a +2 competence bonus to his Leadership score with males. Friendly male troops within 360 feet of the user become braver than normal. Since the effect arises in great part from the distinctiveness of the armor, the wearer cannot hide or conceal herself in any way and still have the effect function.

Bow Ring: A ring shaped like an arrow. When worn, everything will start to lose it's colour, and the world will become so dull, so dull.

FrostFire-brand sword: Master crafted dual edge long sword. One edge is enchanted with firebrand, the other side is enchanted with frost brand. While the function normally, the conflicting heating and cooling of the nearby air causes a thick fog to issue forth while it is unsheathed. This fog obscures the view of anyone within 10' of the wielder. Let's hope you have blind fighting.

Ring of Sustenance
Is actually an onion ring

Bottle of Air
This is just an empty bottle, except any elf wearing green will absolutely do anything for you to trade it to them.

Amulet of Magic Resist Dance - On command, makes the wearer unable to dance, even to the funkiest of beats.

Lather Armor - An ordinary armor, that when activated starts producing lots of foam and suds, like from a bath. This magical foam will instantly clean anything it covers in mere minutes, and vanishes after about 15 minutes.

Eleven Chain Mail - A chainmail, that weighs 11 times that much.

Me-Thrill Armour! A very exciting armour!

Chain Mail - An armour that, when received, you have to make ten copies of and send to ten of your friends, in just a week, or else your legs will fall off, and dogs will eat your parents!

Full Plate Mail: An armour that will fill any plate with a delicous meal, when you utter the command word. Once per day.

Boats of Speed - Two small rowboats, that will make row increcibly fast - but only if you use both at the same time.

Bracers of the Fence - A pair of bracers made from an old picket-fence. They are extremely uncomfortable to wear, but once a day they can be deployed to form a nice little white picket fence around the wearer, 15 yards in diameter.

Gauntlets of Ochre Power - Anything you touch with these gloves will instantly turn it golden-yellow-brown.

Helm of Char Protection - Will protect the wearer from any attacks based on fire residue.

Tarragon Helm - A helmet that smells vaguely of bearnaise sauce.
Helm of Char Protection - Will protect the wearer from any Blond Haired man in red armor.


Ring of Evasion - This ring constantly evades your attempts at wearing it. Upon catching it (DEX check DC 20) and placing it on your finger, you find it is an ordinary brass ring.

Matching Rings of High - Fiving.

When worn by 2 people, those two people can high-five each other with their ring-hands from any angle and position and always get the perfect high five including the sound
>> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)18:36 No.4682918
>>4682850
BEST ITEM EVER
>> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)18:38 No.4682932
>>4682850
No matter where or when they are.

IT BENDS TIME AND SPACE TO PRODUCE PERFECT HIGH-FIVE

A Bag of Sand: Replicates the feel and texture of a females breasts perfectly

[chiasaur11]

An empathic sword.

You feel the emotional pain of anyone you hit with it.

[RndmNumGen]

I like the Dwarven Plate Mail.

[NM020110]

Ring of Reverse Gravity
The wearer is affected as per Reverse Gravity.
Strong transmutation; CL 1st; Forge ring; Reverse gravity; 14000 GP

If used inside, it's mostly useless (if hilarious). Outside, it gives flying with a minor disadvantage. I'd be interested in seeing someone find a way to use it...

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

Belt of the elffriend
Grants you +2DEX and low-light vision. As long as you wear this belt, elves find you hauntingly desirable. Regardless of their alignment, gender and social standing. The effect ends when you remove the belt.

If an Elf were to wear this would they desire themselves?


Ring of Reverse Gravity
The wearer is affected as per Reverse Gravity.
Strong transmutation; CL 1st; Forge ring; Reverse gravity; 14000 GP

If used inside, it's mostly useless (if hilarious). Outside, it gives flying with a minor disadvantage. I'd be interested in seeing someone find a way to use it...

Here are a few uses, the user puts on the ring to float up to the top of a ledge and as soon as they get there they take off the ring. All you would need to do is position yourself first. It also would be helpful in escaping melee combat and I'm not sure if this is possible but if the user is falling and they put on the ring they will stop their fall by having gravity being reversed.

[panaikhan]

"Robe of Ayes"
Whenever the character wearing the robe asks for an opinion, several disembodied voices say "Aye" at random intervals for 1 minute.

"Rod of Laudly Might"
This cursed item makes the owner ramble on about how useful the item is, how much better it is than anything anyone else owns, and how he's the only one with one.

[Snake-Aes]

Stone of Splendorous Magic.
This marble emanates a faint magic aura.

[Beelzebub1111]

"Robe of Ayes"
"Rod of Laudly Might"
This cursed item makes the owner ramble on about how useful the item is, how much better it is than anything anyone else owns, and how he's the only one with one.

I have found that a normal Rod of Lordly Might has the exact same effect.

[Vantharion]

You originally saw it in DM of the Rings.

I have an entire spectrum of liquors for my players.
They are made by Qualyne the (Whichever Qualyne made it).
The Qualyne line is a line of halflings who make magical liquors.
They range from 'The Champagne of Fanciest Speak' to 'Whiskey of Incredible Appetite'. The first forcing the players to speak in a gentleman's accent or be silenced. The second forces the player to consume a ration or become fatigued.
They all do something that generalizes towards RP more, yet can be useful in the right situation. They're good to fill up a loot table without ovepowering players. If they truly don't want the silly loot, they can resell and make a little bit of money.

I try to give silly items that may provide some small benefit.
The Ring of Taste Good, which appeared to only make food taste better, also gave a +1 to spot, search and listen.

And lastly I give silly cursed items. The best one was a lance, it tricked whoever possessed it into believing it is worth unbelievable wealth. Whenever they heard someone insult or deny taking the lance, they would ACTUALLY hear the person PRAISING the lance or giving an elaborate reason why they cannot take the lance. The players all thought this was hilarious, even the cursed fighter.

[iDM]

The Phone of Infinite Prank Calls-- Ten times per day- at the least beneficial time- the bearer will recieve a call from a random fiend through this hunk of metal. The bearer cannot speak to the caller, must answer each call, and must listen to the entire prank call each time. The phone is also impossible to get rid of.

Alternatively, the phone could allow the bearer to make 10 prank calls/day to random, non-quest-related individuals who the bearer will never meet. Featuring such classics as 'is your refrigerator running?' and 'do you have Prince Albert in a can?', the person on the other end will hear the bearer's voice from midair over their left shoulder. The bearer can then listen to the other person's confused spluttering.

The Cape of Elan-- Named after everyone's favorite drama junkie! This cape will emit dramatic music and minor visual effects appropriate to the wearer's present situation, will enhance the sound of battle (cooler sword clangs and such), and will give the wearer cues for what would be dramatically appropriate to say at a given time.

[Dairun Cates]

Hmm... I did a useless magical treasury once. Let's see what I can remember from it.

1. Mace of Welding- The Mace sticks to anything you hit it with and will only unstick by using the command word. You can continue to stick objects to it until the command word is spoken. Becomes insanely unwieldy fast and is more likely to be disarmed from you than to be used for disarm attempts. Also, you can do the same thing essentially with sovereign glue and creativity.

2. The +3 Steve Slaying Longsword- You know how something becomes a slaying sword by killing too much of one thing. Yeeeeah. The worst part is that the qualification for being named Steve wasn't your legal name, but what the Gods named you. There was literally no way of knowing who the sword would work on.

3. Amulet of Summon Unicorn- Too bad none of the characters were innocent enough to see it.

4. The Sword of Greed and Jewel Detection- Sentient Sword that wants treasure and absorbs it into its hilt and blade when given them. Only has 2 powers. The sword is completely indestructible, and it can detect ALL jewels within a 5 mile radius. Talks incessantly.

5. The Arrow of Light- It's... uh... an arrow that can cast the light spell on itself.

6. The Arrow of Disentegration- Anyone that's seen a Marvin Martian cartoon knows where this is going. Yep. The arrow disentegrates when you fire it.

7. The Arrow of Returning- Just like a Boomerang.

8. The Imaginary Knife- Requires a UMD of 20 just to wield it. Literally so insubstantial that its can't hit ANYTHING except imaginary creatures. Failing the UMD 20 makes you drop it through the planet as you can't wield it.

9. The Key of Locking- Locks all doors, windows, and anything other portal of the person that wields it. Locked Door become indestructible. Cannot be unlocked without dropping the key by anything short of divine intervention.

That's the ones I can remember.

[Snake-Aes]

Hmm... I did a useless magical treasury once. Let's see what I can remember from it.

2. The +3 Steve Slaying Longsword- You know how something becomes a slaying sword by killing too much of one thing. Yeeeeah. The worst part is that the qualification for being named Steve wasn't your legal name, but what the Gods named you. There was literally no way of knowing who the sword would work on.

Walter Slaying is better :D


5. The Arrow of Light- It's... uh... an arrow that can cast the light spell on itself.

This one is quite useful, actually. Ever been hunting at night? Or maybe being chased on ships?


6. The Arrow of Disentegration- Anyone that's seen a Marvin Martian cartoon knows where this is going. Yep. The arrow disentegrates when you fire it.

7. The Arrow of Returning- Just like a Boomerang.

Great for pranks :D Does fit under "Useless"!

[iDM]

6. The Arrow of Disentegration- Anyone that's seen a Marvin Martian cartoon knows where this is going. Yep. The arrow disentegrates when you fire it.


*rogue finds one in treasure* Rogue: "This is stupid. Hey, I'll put it in the ranger's quiver! Heh heh heh."

*later, fighting a dragon. dragon is at 1 hp. so is rogue.* Fighter: "Ranger! Quick! Kill the dragon before it kills the rogue!"

*arrow disintegrates*
Rogue: "Damn, I thought that would be funni-uulllkkkk..."

[deuxhero]

Amulet of Illusionary Wardrobe- The wearer of this item must not wear any clothing. As a swift action the wearer can change the appearance of the illusionary clothes he/she is wearing. Any onlookers are allowed a DC 14 will save to disbelieve the illusion.

Doesn't disbelieve mean you know it's an illusion, not that it disappears?

[Snake-Aes]

*rogue finds one in treasure* Rogue: "This is stupid. Hey, I'll put it in the ranger's quiver! Heh heh heh."

*later, fighting a dragon. dragon is at 1 hp. so is rogue.* Fighter: "Ranger! Quick! Kill the dragon before it kills the rogue!"

*arrow disintegrates*
Rogue: "Damn, I thought that would be funni-uulllkkkk..."

"thought"? Such a last-second fumble is definitely a hilarious prank.
Granted, kind of a sociopathical one.

[iDM]

Doesn't disbelieve mean you know it's an illusion, not that it disappears?

I think when you successfully disbelieve an illusion, it turns transparent and insubstantial-looking.

[Shardan]

Ring of Complete Awesomeness.
The enchant makes the wielder absolutely certain that the magic item does something completely awesome.. if only they can figure out how to use it. No amount of convincing will change their mind unless a remove curse is cast. tricky part is, a mage casting identify will be affected by it and become certain of its awesomeness.

illusionary weapon. feels and looks like a real weapon to the wielder, and he even believes that it does real damage, but its just an illusion of a sword.

Hammer of Healing: casts cure light wounds when swung to strike a living being. Must be swung as an attack and it must cast on the victim you hit every time.

Tent of Sound Sleep: when you give the command word, you fall asleep. nothing short of physical trauma will wake you up, no matter how long you sleep

[Snake-Aes]

illusionary weapon. feels and looks like a real weapon to the wielder, and he even believes that it does real damage, but its just an illusion of a sword.


The Lightsaber. Which is a Saber...of light. Harmless light.

[iDM]

The Lightsaber. Which is a Saber...of light.

Lol.
Thanks Eric. Why don't you and Kelso go see Star Wars again?:smallbiggrin:

[Volthawk]

It's a box, that when you open it, there's another box inside it. And inside that box is yet another box. You can take the boxes out from each other, and they still make new boxes.

Actually, that could be quite useful, with some imagination.

[Shardan]

The Lightsaber. Which is a Saber...of light. Harmless light.

In a Star Wars campaign, i did this. I was the only non jedi, (i was the tech guru and pilot) so to mess with people I made both a hologram light saber and a 'shield' saber. It effectively was a club, but was capable of blocking lightsaber blades (and nearly anything else you had the skill to block with)

[Jack_Simth]

Hammer of Healing: casts cure light wounds when swung to strike a living being. Must be swung as an attack and it must cast on the victim you hit every time.Method of abuse:
Give it to the weakest member of the party. Have that party member attack for nonlethal damage. As long as the Hammer isn't Vorpal or some such, you now have an easy method of infinite non-combat healing.

[LordShotGun]

Stealing one from harry potter here.

How about a wand that LOOKS powerful and awesome but as soon as someone trys a UMD check with it, it will change into a rubber chicken.

Or if you wanted to be mean to your PCs have it change into a rubber version of whatever the weilder fears the most

But dont tell them that the creature is actually rubber, if they fear spiders, just tell them the wand turns into a massive spider and leave out the rubber part untill they either check it closely or stab it:smallbiggrin:

[deuxhero]

Method of abuse:
Give it to the weakest member of the party. Have that party member attack for nonlethal damage. As long as the Hammer isn't Vorpal or some such, you now have an easy method of infinite non-combat healing.

Also does bonus damage on undead. Likely works fine if the target has DR that beats bludgeon.

[senrath]

Nah. It specifies that it only works on living targets.

[Jack_Simth]

Also does bonus damage on undead.
Unfortunately, the description specified "living being".

Likely works fine if the target has DR that beats bludgeon.Or has a method by which to quickly gain temp HP (such as the Minor Shapeshift reserve feat).

Now, granted, giving it to the Wizard for beating up on everyone else works just fine, because: "When a spell or a magical power cures hit point damage, it also removes an equal amount of nonlethal damage. (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/combat/injuryandDeath.htm#nonlethalDamage)"

So if you hand a Warhammer (1d8, 20/x3 crit) to the guy with a strength penalty (casters or skillmonkeys, generally ... but avoid the guys with Sneak Attack for this), and attack for nonlethal damage (-4 to attacks, but doesn't matter much as the guy is letting the hit land), then you get something like:

Damage: 1d8-1 (nonlethal)
Healing: 1d8+1 (both lethal and nonlethal).

So each hit, on average, heals 5.5 lethal damage, and 5.5 nonlethal damage. Each hit inflicts, on average, 3.5 nonlethal damage. Net gain of 5.5 lethal HP healing, and 2.0 nonlethal HP healing.

[Christopher K.]

If no one else has remembered, I think the idea came from DM of the Rings.

My idea was The Weight of Weightlessness: When no one is holding it, the Weight weighs as much as an air balloon. When picked up, it weighs about 10 lbs.

[gallagher]

Also does bonus damage on undead. Likely works fine if the target has DR that beats bludgeon.
it is doing a curing spell! that damages undead already. it should have some stipulation for making it like a +1 and doing a CMW, and with more bonuses attached, the more it can cure

[TheManlyFlower]

Belt of Giant Str 6.

Equipping this item is a full round action that provokes attacks of opportunity as it has many straps and fasenings.

Your strength immediately becomes 6. For all effects related to size (Grapple bonus, carrying capacity, hide penalty, ac penalty, attack penalty, weapon size etc.), you are considered large, and for all effects related to type you are considered a giant. No magical effects/items can increase your strength to more than 6 and spells like restoration cannot restore your former strength score while the belt is equipped. To reverse this items effects one has to remove the belt which is a full round action that provokes attacks of opportunity due to the belts many straps.


You could even make it a cursed item, and make it giant Str 10... totally over-excite your fighter if they dont realize you say giant str 10 instead of giant str +10...

[Crafty Cultist]

Hat of hiding: if this top hat is used to cover an item and a command word said, the object disapears. if the command word is used again, the item reappears inside the hat

[TheManlyFlower]

Hat of hiding: if this top hat is used to cover an item and a command word said, the object disapears. if the command word is used again, the item reappears inside the hat

Hah... Hat of Hiding. This top hat can be used to hide an item. To activate this item place the item to be hidden on your head, and place the top had over it. To make the item re-appear remove the hat....

[Christopher K.]

Here's an idea: A Snowball Familiar. Eventually, though, the snowball melts, at which point you have a Puddle Familiar. What sort of stats such a familiar would provide is beyond me, though. :smallconfused:

[Math_Mage]

Tada! Here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79541)'s the thread in question. And yes, I have used many of these. And yes, my players did manage to use them to great effect. Be very careful when giving them anything that seems useless. It probably isn't. Especially when combined with something else useless.

Actually, when I saw the OP, I immediately thought of what Shamus Young had to say on the subject (http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=692). :smalltongue:

[W3bDragon]

The Cape of Elan-- Named after everyone's favorite drama junkie! This cape will emit dramatic music and minor visual effects appropriate to the wearer's present situation, will enhance the sound of battle (cooler sword clangs and such), and will give the wearer cues for what would be dramatically appropriate to say at a given time.

I'm sooo using this in my current campaign! *crosses fingers* Please let the serious warriors pick it up pretty please!

[Dairun Cates]

I'm sooo using this in my current campaign! *crosses fingers* Please let the serious warriors pick it up pretty please!

It actually already exists is the funny thing. You just craft a cape that has the Prestidigitation spell on it permanently with a command word.

[panaikhan]

Here's one lifted out of Oblivion.

This ring provides Water Walking and Water Breathing at the same time.
Unfortunately, the wearer loses the ability to breathe air while it is worn.

[Jack_Simth]

Belt of Giant Str 6.

Equipping this item is a full round action that provokes attacks of opportunity as it has many straps and fasenings.

Your strength immediately becomes 6. For all effects related to size (Grapple bonus, carrying capacity, hide penalty, ac penalty, attack penalty, weapon size etc.), you are considered large, and for all effects related to type you are considered a giant. No magical effects/items can increase your strength to more than 6 and spells like restoration cannot restore your former strength score while the belt is equipped. To reverse this items effects one has to remove the belt which is a full round action that provokes attacks of opportunity due to the belts many straps.


You could even make it a cursed item, and make it giant Str 10... totally over-excite your fighter if they dont realize you say giant str 10 instead of giant str +10...

Goes well with a stealth-based character and the Return To Nature spell to Instantly reduce your size....

[Shardan]

we could almost segway this into another thread.

New and original curses

[super dark33]

black belt: it requiers 15 levels in monk

[Clovis]

Hmm, a couple of ideas:

Corkscrew of screw you: when opening a bottle this cursed screw makes the bottle to detonate, causing 1d6 of slashing damage from the shards.

Randomised corkscrew: This corkscrew never opens the bottle it is used on but a random bottle within 50ft radius. Great at parties.

Yet another boots of walking: These boots allow the wearer to walk 24h without getting tired or fatigued. The wearer cannot run, charge or jump, just walk, walk, walk... (probably invented by dwarves)

Airy sheet: this normal-looking bedsheet removes itself from bed and goes outside into fresh air and then returns. Too bad it can only do this during the night.

Eversmoking candle: This candle produces a thin wisp of smoke, not enough to hinder visibility. It is also impossible to lit.

[Mr. Anon Omys]

Goblet of Silver Bananas: Produces bananas coated in a thin layer of silver. Said silver is of no monetary worth, and the banana is only as filling as a regular banana.

It was useless untill the DM ruled that vampires cannot approach silver and the party sorceror nat 20'd his called shot to the BBEG vampire lord's open mouth.

[Lysander]

Goblet of Silver Bananas: Produces bananas coated in a thin layer of silver. Said silver is of no monetary worth, and the banana is only as filling as a regular banana.

It was useless untill the DM ruled that vampires cannot approach silver and the party sorceror nat 20'd his called shot to the BBEG vampire lord's open mouth.

Value of silver aside, I'm sure there's a market for decorative bananas. You can probably charge a premium over regular banana prices. And that's assuming that regular bananas are even accessible in that part of world - if not even a normal banana could be worth a small fortune.

Here are a few items of my own:

Deceiving Coin
To sight and touch it appears to be a normal copper coin. When flipped as part of a wager any observer sees the result as the one they prefer most. True Seeing reveals that the coin does not have heads nor tails but is in fact a plain copper disk.

Planebound Ring
This ring cannot leave the plane it was forged on. This blocks all forms of teleportation as well as ethereal travel. Should the wearer ever be subject to such an effect the ring will be left behind. A person wearing such a ring cannot force their hand into a bag of holding.

Bag of Lesser Space
This flawed bag of holding was accidentally given an extradimensional capacity only half as large as the bag would have if it weren't magical. It still only weighs 15lbs however, making it still somewhat useful for carrying heavy items.

[NowhereMan583]

Some alignment-detection items. All of these appear as a lens, just large enough for a human eye to look through, set in the center of a reasonably-large disc, with a chain to be worn as an amulet. The instructions are written on the disc.

All of these may have the explanation that they were various failed attempts to produce a reliable method of alignment-detection. They all possess basic intelligence, but low ego scores, making any domination of the wearer unlikely. (But possible, and potentially hilarious.)

Lens of the Judge: Once a day, the wearer may hold the amulet up to his eye, look at an individual whose alignment he wishes to detect, and speak the command word. If the individual is evil, he will appear as a black silhouette, and the amulet will telepathically enumerate the target's sins. If the individual is good, he will appear as a white silhouette, and if he is neutral, a gray silhouette.
The catch, which is not mentioned in the instructions: The amulet has absolutely no perspective on what constitutes "evil", or a "sin". Everyone detects as evil, and anything even remotely unpleasant will be blown wildly out of proportion. Did the target once pick up a copper piece on the street without seeking to locate its owner? "Amoral thief!" Did he spill ale in a tavern? "Polluter of cities!" Step on a bug? "Slayer of innocents!" Pick a flower? "Despoiler of natural beauty!" Thus, pretty much anyone gets an entire paragraph of apparently-horrible sins.
Since it can only be used once a day, it should take some time for the players to realize the flaw in the amulet... and if they are exceptionally paranoid, or have experience with possession / doppelgangers / polymorphed enemies, this may result in some completely unwarranted killings, which can have horrible consequences later.

Lens of the Redeemer: As the lens of the judge, except the catch goes the other way. The amulet praises the good deeds / intentions of the target out of all proportion, and either ignores or justifies any evil deeds. Even the most foul and loathsome fiend is, according to the amulet, "just doing what he thinks is right." Everyone detects as good.

Lens of the Ethicist: As the other lenses, but everyone detects as neutral. Slightly useful, as it utilizes different shades of gray, thus allowing the wearer to determine whether or not Alice is more evil than Bob - but not, of course, whether Alice is Evil, or Bob is Good. It usually remains silent, but if asked for clarification, it will go into long philosophical ramblings about ethical theory. Periodically, it will have a revelation regarding the nature of Good and Evil, and reclassify everyone along those lines, perhaps reversing earlier decisions. (Maybe one school of ethics thinks Alice is more evil than Bob, and another thinks Bob is more evil than Alice.)

Lens of the Literalist: As the other lenses. Once a day, the wearer may hold the amulet up to his eye, look at an individual whose alignment he wishes to detect, and speak the command word. Nothing will happen. Technically, the wearer can invoke this effect more than once a day, but that is considered to be in poor taste.

[Kaeso]

Deck of Illusions:
This deck allows you to play a children's card game with fancy holographs.

[Christopher K.]

Ring of Vulgarity:
The wearer makes inappropriate hand gestures whenever possible. Such gestures could consist of the middle finger, the "he's an alcoholic" gesture, or 21st-century traffic handsignals.

Fami Sphere:
A red and white metal sphere about 3 inches in diameter that you can store your familiar, animal companion, or mount inside(Not anyone else's, nor can you "capture" a different creature with it)

Here's one that the DM at Hobbytown let me have for D&D Encounters 2 weeks ago:
Skull
If you carry it through an entire encounter, you get an achievement. Said achievement does nothing to benefit you. Also, monsters try to attack you more often, thinking you're an easy target with limited sanity.
I wound up destroying it, though, and saving the party by distracting the golem guarding the tomb. (Not nearly as fun as when I smashed two canopic jars over the head of the boss monster yesterday.)

[NowhereMan583]

Spencer's Disk: A short, stubby metal cylinder that, when placed on its end, creates a disk of force one foot in diameter a couple feet above it, visible only by a slight shimmer in the air. It only works when placed on the ground, and in no way reduces the weight of items placed on it. So, in essence, it's a fancy stool.

Marble of Invincibility: This item appears to be a glass sphere about an inch in diameter. It cannot be damaged in any way.

Octahedron of Variable Weight: This is a small metal octahedron that can fit in a belt pouch. At random points throughout the day (i.e., when the DM thinks of it) it abruptly changes in weight. To determine its new weight, roll d% on the following table.

01-50: d10 lbs.
51-75: d20 lbs.
76-99: d100 lbs.
100: Roll d12. Then roll that many d100.

Quillfinger Oil: When rubbed on your hands, this oil enables you to write with the tip of your finger for one hour. You do not require an inkpot. Due to the unwieldy nature of this method of writing, your handwriting must be twice as large as usual to be legible. Otherwise, this effect is the same as writing with a quill.

Coin of the Economist: This appears to be a nondescript copper piece, though it has a moderate magical aura. It has a portrait of a human profile on it, assumedly the image of whichever king had it minted. There is also a single word engraved on it, that appears to be a string of nonsense syllables. The word engraved is, in fact, the command word. Once a day, when the command word is uttered, the face on the coin will animate and inform the holder what the most recent monetary investment of one creature within line of sight was. This includes anything that the individual spent money in order to gain (so something like "bread" is a completely normal response). At the DM's discretion, the coin may give its opinion on whether the investment was worthwhile.

Amulet of Not Asking: This pendant has an overwhelming magical aura. However, its only actual effect is to convince the wearer that it has immense power that, if activated, threatens the entire world, and must be kept on his person to prevent it from falling into unscrupulous hands. The wearer also believes that he must keep this property of the amulet hidden from all others, even his allies, and typically responds evasively to any questions about the amulet's nature, saying things like "Don't ask" or "Can't really say." Identify works as normal, but anyone wearing the amulet refuses to believe the results of the spell, and insists that the amulet is merely concealing its dangerous nature.

[Beelzebub1111]

Nevinyrral's Disk: Open it, and everything everywhere except for the ground itself is irrevocably destroyed.



Coin of the Economist: This appears to be a nondescript copper piece, though it has a moderate magical aura. It has a portrait of a human profile on it, assumedly the image of whichever king had it minted. There is also a single word engraved on it, that appears to be a string of nonsense syllables. The word engraved is, in fact, the command word. Once a day, when the command word is uttered, the face on the coin will animate and inform the holder what the most recent monetary investment of one creature within line of sight was. This includes anything that the individual spent money in order to gain (so something like "bread" is a completely normal response). At the DM's discretion, the coin may give its opinion on whether the investment was worthwhile.
I really like this one, I may use it.

[Kami2awa]

The Elephant Gun. A gun that creates elephants. They aren't under the control of the user.

The gun has a Full Auto setting.

Invisible Cloak. The cloak itself is invisible, but doesn't confer invisibility on anything else. It might be useful to keep warm in situations where you want to show off your other clothes. The cloak is also very easy to lose.

Some old ideas:

Cloak of Concealment. A very common item. This hooded black cloak conceals the face of the wearer in mystic darkness regardless of the lighting conditions unless the hood is taken down. Good for impressive speeches and concealing your identity.

Cloak of Billowing: This cloak always appears to be blowing in a strong wind behind the wearer, providing a dramatic effect.

[Zyme86]

Boomerang of Sharpness

Neverreturning +1 returning boomerang

[Beelzebub1111]

The Elephant Gun. A gun that creates elephants. They aren't under the control of the user.

The gun has a Full Auto setting.

I'm sorry, you seem to have confused this Useless Items thread with a The Greatest Items Ever thread.

Combine that with flight and you have Full Auto bombs.

[NowhereMan583]

I'm sorry, you seem to have confused this Useless Items thread with a The Greatest Items Ever thread.

Combine that with flight and you have Full Auto bombs.

I don't know about your players, but mine would kill themselves with this before even thinking of flight. They have a bit of a flair for the dramatic, and the opportunity to say "I switch my elephant gun to full auto" would just be too tempting.

[Coidzor]

Pencil of Erasing

Hehh.... Earthbound's Pencil Eraser comes to mind.

Or a pouch that turns boiled eggs back into fresh eggs. :smallbiggrin:

[jpreem]

i thingk WOTC made an item called "veil of darkness" or something like that. A magical cloak that gave you the opportunity to hide if in an area of shadowy illumination. So hmm no need to homebrew useless magical items :D

[Vantharion]

Cloak of Poor Invisibility:
When you dawn the cloak, everyone who would see you is given a will save (Save varies depending on the power of the cloak). If they fail the will save, they cannot see you. If they fail the will save, you can't see them either.
Effectively, the only people/living things you can see are the things that can see you.
It doesn't stop you from bumping into things. Bumping into something grants it a free additional will save at a +3 bonus.
If someone else is invisible, you can see them and they can see you.
It only functions on living, undead or animate 'things'. It does not make inanimate objects invisible.

I gave twelve of these items to my players... They aren't completely useless, just hard to make use of.

[zmasterofjersey]

Any player who can't come up with some marvelously sadistic uses for that just isn't trying



...You, sir, are awesome.

How about:

* The Luggage That Doesn't Hold Quite As Much As It Seems Like It Should.
* Keys that can open any door...if you could just remember where you left them.
* A magical Bard instrument that gives +10 to perform checks...in the form of a tuba.
* A magic mirror that can guess what number you are thinking of, most of the time.
* The Portable Hole That's Always Full of Sauerkraut.
* Tome of Sparkling Vampires: It's like the Tome of Clear Thoughts, but reading it reduces your intelligence.
* Talisman of summoning the dread Flumphthulu
* Gauntlents of Ogre Scent
* The Modronomicon

Can I siggy that?

[Snake-Aes]

Cloak of Billowing: This cloak always appears to be blowing in a strong wind behind the wearer, providing a dramatic effect.

I use prestidigitation for that. On the hair too.

[Drascin]

I use prestidigitation for that. On the hair too.

Yeah, but prestidigitation has such a limited duration, with it being just one hour - and nothing breaks the dramatic mood like it running out halfway and you having to stop to chant another cantrip to restart it! :smalltongue:. Having a cloak with an at-will Prestidigitation on a single command word would be much more dramatic.

Alternatively, for baddies, have it also enchanted with a magic mouth that makes a KRAK-A-THOOM thunder noises and illusory lightning every time anyone within a certain radius says your name :smallbiggrin:.

[Snake-Aes]

Yeah, but prestidigitation has such a limited duration, with it being just one hour - and nothing breaks the dramatic mood like it running out halfway and you having to stop to chant another cantrip to restart it! :smalltongue:. Having a cloak with an at-will Prestidigitation on a single command word would be much more dramatic.

Alternatively, for baddies, have it also enchanted with a magic mouth that makes a KRAK-A-THOOM thunder noises and illusory lightning every time anyone within a certain radius says your name :smallbiggrin:.

:D My characters (All of them. All) eventually poke wizards to get a permanent prestidigitation running. Your cloak would be composed of Prestidigitation and Ghost Sound, but at a high caster level.

[Lysander]

Blade of the Guardian
This powerful magical sword was forged to protect a specific remote monastery high in the mountains. The wielder of the +5 blade benefits from continuous True Strike, Protection from Evil, and Owl's Wisdom spells as long as they use the sword. The blade however cannot go more than 500 feet past the wall of the monastery, as if an invisible barrier were blocking it. Teleportation spells cannot take the blade away from the monastery either; there is no way of taking the sword elsewhere.

Quickburning Candle (alchemical item)
This appears to be a normal candle, except it has been chemically treated to burn far quicker. Instead of providing light for an hour it provides light for only fifteen minutes. However the chemical process required makes it twice as expensive as a candle, making this a very stupid item indeed.

[Tharck]

[QUOTE=Lysander;9183804]Blade of the Guardian
This powerful magical sword was forged to protect a specific remote monastery high in the mountains. The wielder of the +5 blade benefits from continuous True Strike, Protection from Evil, and Owl's Wisdom spells as long as they use the sword. The blade however cannot go more than 500 feet past the wall of the monastery, as if an invisible barrier were blocking it. Teleportation spells cannot take the blade away from the monastery either; there is no way of taking the sword elsewhere.


Nothing stops the PCs from giving the blade to a power attacking frenzied bezerker and the party wizard wishing enemies and monsters to the monastary so the bezerker can enjoy almost guarenteed extreme power attack action with a permanent True Strike. Mmmm.

[Lysander]

[QUOTE=Lysander;9183804]Blade of the Guardian
This powerful magical sword was forged to protect a specific remote monastery high in the mountains. The wielder of the +5 blade benefits from continuous True Strike, Protection from Evil, and Owl's Wisdom spells as long as they use the sword. The blade however cannot go more than 500 feet past the wall of the monastery, as if an invisible barrier were blocking it. Teleportation spells cannot take the blade away from the monastery either; there is no way of taking the sword elsewhere.


Nothing stops the PCs from giving the blade to a power attacking frenzied bezerker and the party wizard wishing enemies and monsters to the monastary so the bezerker can enjoy almost guarenteed extreme power attack action with a permanent True Strike. Mmmm.

Yes, but the wizard sure is going to burn up a lot of xp. Especially when people make their will saves.

[Snake-Aes]

Yes, but the wizard sure is going to burn up a lot of xp. Especially when people make their will saves.

It is useful in ways that don't require convoluted workarounds :p doesn't qualify!

[Christopher K.]

Door in a Jar:
Contains long list of safety regulations that players MUST read(takes 1 full round) and obey. Once the jar's contents is poured on a wall, only a creature of Tiny size can enter the resulting door. Or they could knock and see if Barbie's home.

(Yeah, ripped off from the Muppets, but still, it had to be mentioned :smallwink: )

[Faramir]

I've been thinking up a low-level villain based in a circus. I think he will use many of these.

...

Many years ago a friend ran a campaign in which the characters fought a traveling circus. While not useless, the Clown Shoes of Levitation (they grow to a huge size when being used), the Tutu of Giant Strength and the Clown Nose of Adaptation were all terribly embarrassing to use outside the context of a circus :).


A similar number of years ago I toyed with the idea (eventually dismissing it as being too silly for the campaign) of a powerful yet hard of hearing wizard offering any "standard magic item" as a reward for performing a mission. I then had fun figuring out what he'd think they had said when handing out payment.

the ones that I remember offhand were:

Mirror of Menial Prowess - usable once per day. anyone gazing into this mirror for a full minute will be become expert at dusting, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, etc. for one day. And they say you can't get good help these days...

Ring of Reverberation - Gives you that nice reverb effect if you want to sound impressive. Anything you say while wearing this ring will be repeated in a deep bass over and over gradually getting softer.

Ring of Many Washes - Very useful for adventurers who don't like bathing in cold rivers or lakes.

[Silly Wizard]

We once had the Hat of False Disguise. It was a hat that acted as the Hat of Disguise, but can only disguise you to look exactly as you looked before putting on the hat. Useful if you ever needed to trick someone into thinking you were casting an illusion, but it never came up for us.

[Wardog]

bag of infinite horse dung.

Would actually be quite useful for any farmers or gardeners.


Boomerang of Sharpness

Like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFuzGU1wXq8)?


A +3 Plunger. That's it. A +3 Plunger.

Belt of Elven Fortitude- -2 penalty to constitution, and gives you elf ears. xD

Boots of Hippo Fall- You take all falling damage as if you were one size category higher.

On similar lines:

Potion of Bull's Grace
Potion of Cat's Strength
Potion of Eagle's Endurance
Potion of Boar's Wisdom
Potion of Owl's Cunning
Potion of Fox's Splendor


Also, Potions of Cats. Drinking it causes all cats in in the vicinity to adopt you.



Staff of INVINCIBILITY
This staff may not be damaged or destroyed under any circumstances

That could actually be really useful, e.g. for pole-vaulting through acid/magma/etc, or for jaming up a crushing-walls/ceiling trap.



Glasses of True Seeing: These glasses see everything. Whether or not they let the wearer see as well is up to the glasses.

That actually gives me an idea for a really horrible cursed item.
Cursed Glasses of Omniscience These glasses allow force the wearer to see everything. They cannot be removed, and the effect cannot be disabled.



Ring of Eyes: It is a ring with a large eye on it. When activated, the user will see what that eye sees. Only works when worn.
Could be useful for looking behind you, or behind/under furniture, or down holes etc.


Phylactery of Undead Turning: By saying the command word, this phylactery causes all undead within 30ft to turn around.

How long does the effect last, and how many times can it be used? Potentially, that could be quite handy when fighting large numbers of undead.

Or hillarious if you set the command word to "Stop doing that!" and secretly planted it on Xykon.


Hmm... I did a useless magical treasury once. Let's see what I can remember from it.

1. Mace of Welding- The Mace sticks to anything you hit it with and will only unstick by using the command word. You can continue to stick objects to it until the command word is spoken. Becomes insanely unwieldy fast and is more likely to be disarmed from you than to be used for disarm attempts.


Hit enemy in face with mace
Let go of mace and draw backup weapon
Profit




The Cape of Elan-- Named after everyone's favorite drama junkie! This cape will emit dramatic music and minor visual effects appropriate to the wearer's present situation, will enhance the sound of battle (cooler sword clangs and such), and will give the wearer cues for what would be dramatically appropriate to say at a given time.

Awesome! And potentially very useful.
DM: After a tiring day of adventuring, you return to the inn for some much-needed rest. As you approach the door to your room, your cape starts to emit ominous music.
Me: I draw my sword and ready an action to defend myself against the assassin that is obviously waiting for me behind the door.

Also, I'd hopefully be able to customize it to use the Freelancer music. As TVTropes says, it cam make flying in a staight line (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bvECYzRYIg&feature=related) seem epic.

[Vantharion]

One of the necklaces I gave out allowed the player to tap the center and receive a fistful of quick sticking glue. It can be thrown onto someone to reduce their dex bonus by 1, stick chairs to floors and walls...
It was originally designed to be useless but it turned out to be remarkably useful.
I also plan on giving my creative player a bag full of indestructible marbles.
I love the potions of animals wrongstat.

[Balain]

Ring of Invisiblity that turns the wearer invisible but not the ring So there is this floating ring moving around. Or it turns the wear invisible but not his equipment

[Tohron]

Blade of the Guardian
This powerful magical sword was forged to protect a specific remote monastery high in the mountains. The wielder of the +5 blade benefits from continuous True Strike, Protection from Evil, and Owl's Wisdom spells as long as they use the sword. The blade however cannot go more than 500 feet past the wall of the monastery, as if an invisible barrier were blocking it. Teleportation spells cannot take the blade away from the monastery either; there is no way of taking the sword elsewhere.

You do realize that the PCs could just abuse spells to take the monastery with them, i.e. using Shrink Item repeatedly so it can be easily stored...

EDIT: Here are a few of my own ideas:

Donut of Guard Attraction: All people employed for the purpose of guarded the current town or enforcing the law withing 1000 ft are compelled to approach the donut. Upon seeing it, they must make a DC 20 Will save or be compelled to eat the donut.

Explosive of Explody Explosions. When ignited, this material will detonate, producing a large flash and inundating 5 ft / 10 lbs of explosive used in smoke for 2 rounds. There is also a loud BANG. However, there is no shockwave, and no damage is dealt.

[Demons_eye]

Thought of one when driving home:

Belt of Randy Savage: +2 untyped bonus to str but must talk like Randy Savage to benefit from the belt.

[NowhereMan583]

Rod of Cooling: This is a small metal rod, about the size of a pencil, that is pleasantly cool to the touch. It is not sufficiently cold to cause anything beyond discomfort to heat/fire-based creatures, or to mitigate heat damage. However, it does ensure that you need never have a warm drink.

Potion of Peacock's Self-Esteem: After drinking this potion, the user feels good about themselves for one hour. This confidence does not translate to a mechanical bonus.

Belt of Gnome Strength: Gives the wearer a -2 to Strength. The wearer is fully conscious of this effect.

Ring of Honesty: Glows softly whenever the wearer tells a lie.

Cursed Ring of Honesty: Has a 50% chance of glowing softly whenever the wearer speaks.

[Kris Strife]

Thought of one when driving home:

Belt of Randy Savage: +2 untyped bonus to str but must talk like Randy Savage to benefit from the belt.

Amulet of Mr. T: Grants the wearer two extra neck slots, provided they act and speak like Mr. T at all times and give themselves a mohawk at the first opportunity. If the wearer ceases to act like Mr. T while wearing the amulet, they are subject to Mr. T's pity with no save.

[Asheram]

* A magical Bard instrument that gives +10 to perform checks...in the form of a tuba.


Make that an adamantium tuba and it'd be the most awesome bard weapon ever.

[Lysander]

.
Ring of Honesty: Glows softly whenever the wearer tells a lie.


That's actually very useful as an interrogation tool.


Candelabra of Darkness
The light emitted by any candle put in this candelabra does not illuminate anything beyond the candles and the candelabra itself. In a dark room people can see the candelabra, but no light is cast upon anything else.

Sound Shell
If one puts this shell to their ear they can hear the sound of the ocean lapping against the shore. Unlike a normal shell the sound is utterly realistic and people can hear other beach sounds like gulls cawing, and waves crashing.

Beaker of Destroying Water
This glass beaker can contain up to one cup of pure water. Should the beaker be opened or shattered the water instantly vanishes without a trace. It can be refilled, sealed, and opened again to destroy more water, but this magic only works with water and no other fluids or substance.

[NowhereMan583]

Ring of Rings: Once a day, this ring produces a second ring of rings, which rarely resembles the first (different metal, different arrangement of gemstones, etc.). After producing its replacement, the ring of rings collapses into a pile of dust.

Old Hammer: This antique +1 gnome hooked hammer refuses to acknowledge the existence of anything that did not exist at the moment it was forged, a few centuries ago. It passes harmlessly through anything that was more recently made (forged, carved, or submitted to any major reconstruction), or any creature that was born after that point in time. On one hand, if you're fighting an elderly elf who's wearing relatively new armor, this is a useful thing to have... on the other hand, if you're fighting orcs, it's completely unusable.

Nail of Instruction: This iron nail will cause the owner to experience extremely vivid nightly dreams about carpentry. Whenever the owner levels up with the nail in their possession, they receive a permanent +1 bonus to Craft (carpentry).

Hydrophobic Orb: This glass sphere, if placed within five feet of water, will roll away from it as swiftly as possible, and will continue rolling until there is no water within fifty feet of it. This effect does not count any water so contaminated that it would not be commonly referred to as "water", so that other liquids are exempt from this effect.

Screaming Bracelet: This nondescript copper bracelet will emit a bloodcurdling scream whenever it is worn, picked up, or otherwise touched by a non-hobgoblin. This inflicts a -20 penalty to Move Silently checks for the wearer, and a -10 penalty to Listen checks for anyone within twenty feet who is attempting to hear something other than the bracelet.

[JaronK]

I'm a fan of useful magic items that just aren't of use to adventurers. I can't imagine people actually making the useless ones in this thread, but I can totally imagine someone making really handy items that adventurers just don't care about. And then I love dropping them into random loot.

Toothbrush of Cleaning: When run across teeth and gums, this toothbrush clears out bacteria and tartar, heals gums, repairs tooth decay, and freshens breath. It is also self cleaning. It functions three times per day, but requires 2 minutes use to fully work. Cost: 500gp. Requires: Lesser Vigor, Prestidigitation

Loving Cat: This small construct acts like a housecat, but doesn't need to eat and always comes when you call (if it can hear it). It stays within a designated area, which can be changed with a command word. It also never wakes up the owner. It always purrs when pet.

JaronK

[chiasaur11]

Ring of Invisiblity that turns the wearer invisible but not the ring So there is this floating ring moving around. Or it turns the wear invisible but not his equipment

The ring visible version?

Makes you a lot harder to crit at minimum, I'd figure. No way to know where vitals are relative to the ring.

Not useless. Just less useful

[cd4]

Bottemless Jug.

When any liquid is poured in the jug the bottom disappear and only re-appears when there is no liquid in the jug.

[olelia]

Most Useless Item Ever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z86V_ICUCD4) :smallcool:

[Zieu]

Most Useless Item Ever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z86V_ICUCD4) :smallcool:

Where can I buy one? :)

[olelia]

I believe somewhere they include the build instructions...would have to google fu them though.

[Shadowleaf]

Amulet of Mighty Fits: This Amulet helps you be angry. Once per round while raging, the Amulet shouts annoying sounds, swears or joke about the wearer's mother, determined randomly. This message is understood by everyone but the wearer.

Belt of Giant Stench: Cursed with B. O.

Brooch of Sheeting: This Brooch will automaticly try to help you fold your sheets.

Carpet of Fleeing: This Carpet spawns 1d20+5 Flees every hour. These summons have a duration of 15 seconds, and are immune to any sort of magic.

Goggles of Light: These Goggles glow as a Flare spell for the wielder, but only if worn over the eyes.

Ring of Friend Ship: These curious rings always come in pairs. A Friend Ship ring without its mate is useless. Either wearer of one of a pair of the rings can, at any time, command his or her ring to summon a boat with the wearer of the mated ring as the target. This effect has no range limitation.

Unhandy Haversack: Things weigh twice as much if put into the Unhandy Haversack.

Wings of Frying: These Wings will fry 1d4 dishes once per week.

[NowhereMan583]

Talisman of Demon Summoning: This is a small piece of reddish stone, easily held in the palm of a human hand or slipped into a pouch, that has been carved into the shape of a warped and twisted skull. If the owner spills a drop of his blood on it, roll d%. [If the owner does this unintentionally, perhaps as a result of some sort of stabbing - a regrettably common incident among adventurers - it still counts.] The skull summons one demon of whatever type you get as a result of your roll.

01-25: Dretch
26-50: Quasit
51-71: Babau
72-87: Vrock
88-93: Glabrezu
94-96: Marilith
97-99: Balor
100: The skull explodes violently, doing 10d6 damage to everything in a 20 ft. radius. It will reform elsewhere on the plane in 1d4 days.

This effect can be activated once every three hours. The skull gives you no inherent control over or protection from the demon - that's up to you.

[Cheetah109]

Toupe of Deception

This artificial hairpiece deceives it's wearer into thinking he's fooling anybody.

[Wardog]

Loving Cat: This small construct acts like a housecat


Can it kill level 1 commoners?

[ZeroGear]

The Fork of Truth- It makes you angry.

Sword of Infinite possibilities (named for conveniance as a sword)- There is a small numberpad on the hilt. Each time the sword is pulled from the sheath, the weilder must enter a four digit number. Depending on the number, the blade will turn into a random object (Sword blade, flail head, chain, golf club, frying pan, rope, etc...). If no code is entered when the sword is pulled, the hilt has no blade attached.

[NowhereMan583]

I'm a fan of useful magic items that just aren't of use to adventurers. I can't imagine people actually making the useless ones in this thread, but I can totally imagine someone making really handy items that adventurers just don't care about. And then I love dropping them into random loot.

While objects that would be useful to non-adventurers are pretty cool, flavor-wise, it's possible to plausibly incorporate items that seem to be completely useless under all circumstances without breaking immersion. If your setting includes, as many fantasy settings do, the ruins of a once-powerful civilization, any exploration of these ruins is the perfect time to throw in "useless" items. Then it no longer has a "gag gift" feel, but is a sort of mystery in itself - the players will wonder what this was used for back when the city was still up and running. (Of course, there are some in this thread that I can't see as making sense even then.)

Also, so I'm not just wasting space with this post, here's an item:

Potion of Shadow Speech: For one hour after drinking this potion, the user is able to verbally communicate with his shadow. The shadow has no ability to move independently of the user, or in any other way act unlike a normal shadow. (Besides speaking, obviously.) The shadow is not obliged to co-operate with the user, answer the user's questions, be truthful, etc. All of that is up to the GM.

[Snake-Aes]

While objects that would be useful to non-adventurers are pretty cool, flavor-wise, it's possible to plausibly incorporate items that seem to be completely useless under all circumstances without breaking immersion. If your setting includes, as many fantasy settings do, the ruins of a once-powerful civilization, any exploration of these ruins is the perfect time to throw in "useless" items. Then it no longer has a "gag gift" feel, but is a sort of mystery in itself - the players will wonder what this was used for back when the city was still up and running. (Of course, there are some in this thread that I can't see as making sense even then.)


My previous monk looted a hairpin that changed color based on her mood.
Sadly, these items wouldn't add novelty to the campaign. We are fans of crafting them ourselves, like the evercool mug, the kitten effigy and free hugs plaque.

[Jack_Simth]

I'm a fan of useful magic items that just aren't of use to adventurers. I can't imagine people actually making the useless ones in this thread, but I can totally imagine someone making really handy items that adventurers just don't care about. And then I love dropping them into random loot.Ah, like, say:

The Flavorful Spoon
When used as an eating implement, this spoon imparts random, tasty flavors on each bite.
Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation; Market price 500 gp

The Spinning Gear
When the command word is spoken, this gear begins turning itself in place, applying up to five pounds of force.
Craft Wondrous Item, Mage Hand; Market Price: 500 gp

[Jarrick]

I had a DM that actually handed this one out by accident:

Potion of remove paralysis When you become paralyzed you can drink this and... oh, wait...

and one of my own creation

Ring of Nibelung When the command word (Usually "Charge!" or something similar) is spoken, the ring fills the area surrounding the wearer with a dramatic rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" out to a radius of 200ft.

[Wardog]

Ring of Nibelung When the command word (Usually "Charge!" or something similar) is spoken, the ring fills the area surrounding the wearer with a dramatic rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" out to a radius of 200ft.

I can imagine that going for 1000s of gold on an MMO auction house.

Heck, I'd want to buy that IRL (although not for that much money).

[Randel]

Magic Beans

Once planted they grow into a hearty bean plant that grows mundane stringbeans all year long. It doesn't need water and if the plant is cut down it quickly regrows. Any new plants grown from the seeds or from cuttings will be mundane and will die if left unwatered or cut down. The magic beanplant will not grow up into the clouds (it only gets to about five feet max before it falls over unless you let it climb something). The origional plant is essentially indestructable and will regrow no matter what and provide a steady supply of beans, its a boon to farmers who need a reliable (albeit bland) supply of food to last the winter.


Magic Sock Drawer

This small drawer contains clean socks. Whenever it is opened it will reveal a number of clean warm socks. Socks can be put on a persons feet and will remain that way until removed at which point they will vanish. Putting anything into the sock drawer will cause that object to be misplaces (it will disappear for a while but you will doubtless find it in a pocket or bag somewhere later on).
It originally belonged in an orphanage where the poor orphans took comfort in having clean socks even though everything else in their lives was horrid. That changed when a band of big mean guys walked inside, rifled through their stuff, and took the magic item away. Now the orphans have no clean socks for their feet.

[chiasaur11]

Magic Sock Drawer

This small drawer contains clean socks. Whenever it is opened it will reveal a number of clean warm socks. Socks can be put on a persons feet and will remain that way until removed at which point they will vanish. Putting anything into the sock drawer will cause that object to be misplaces (it will disappear for a while but you will doubtless find it in a pocket or bag somewhere later on).
It originally belonged in an orphanage where the poor orphans took comfort in having clean socks even though everything else in their lives was horrid. That changed when a band of big mean guys walked inside, rifled through their stuff, and took the magic item away. Now the orphans have no clean socks for their feet.

Man.

Talk about practical. Always having clean warm socks?

Men have killed for far less.

[Count D20]

Ring of Eyes: It is a ring with a large eye on it. When activated, the user will see what that eye sees. Only works when worn.
Easy cure for blindness.

Belt of the Warrior!!!
It grants the power of destrucity! It is coming for you hulk hogan!

[Beelzebub1111]

Belt of the Warrior!!!
It grants the power of destrucity! It is coming for you hulk hogan!
You pronounced it wrong
BELT OF DA WOORIAAA!!
Tha POWAH uv Destrucity! IT IS COMING FOR YOU HOAK HOGAN!

[iDM]

Man.

Talk about practical. Always having clean warm socks?

Men have killed for far less.

the vietnam vets who got boot rot would be rolling in their graves.

[flabort]

Ring of Eyes: It is a ring with a large eye on it. When activated, the user will see what that eye sees. Only works when worn.
Easy cure for blindness.

A ring, so it goes on your finger, right?
I'd bet it would be rude to wear one at a dinnertable with ladies...

[TDB Lady]

These aren't really useless, but they are different.

Our party has found two magical frying pans.

One cooks without a fire - really nice for a cold camp.

The second requires a fire, but automagically seasons any food just right. Saves on carrying salt, pepper, other spices.

TDB Lady

[urbanpirate]

Where can I buy one? :)

you have to build your own. they had one at maker faire detroit and for some reason they are actualy pretty fun

[SilverLeaf167]

A ball that starts woeing very loudly and annoyingly whenever something bad is going to happen in the near future. Sounds kind of useful, but the ball determines "bad" by its own, very weird criteria. It might start woeing every time someone's going to fart, or when the store has run out of mustard. Also, the ball is impossible to destroy or almost impossible get rid off. It will follow the one it recognizes as its owner by bouncing around, and if you tie it to something, it will bring everything along. Even if you tie it to a gigantic fortress or something.

[Wardog]

It will follow the one it recognizes as its owner by bouncing around, and if you tie it to something, it will bring everything along. Even if you tie it to a gigantic fortress or something.

Now that is totaly overpowered.

[Jack_Simth]

Now that is totaly overpowered.
Well, hopefully the weight pulled is limited based on the strength of the rope...

[SilverLeaf167]

Now that is totaly overpowered.
My players are the kind who most likely would get extremely annoyed by it within a few minutes and make it their greatest priority to find a way to dump the ball into some tiny demiplane never to be opened again. They wouldn't even think of any actual uses, except maybe as jokes.

[Kami2awa]

One cooks without a fire - really nice for a cold camp.

TDB Lady

That would be fantastic if you wanted to avoid detection, e.g. by Ringwraiths.

[Dirty n Evil]

In my group's Eberron campaigns, we've attempted to show how populous magic and magic items are by assigning our player characters what we call "fluff" magic items. They're items that had a defined, specific effect... that don't really change game play.

For example, I had a monk who had a mug that three times a day would refill itself with chai tea. (It was joked it was his lone vice. :smallamused:) He also possessed a hooded cloak that was resistant against dampness and chill for when it rained - not enough that he would stay dry if thrown in a pond, but for everyday weather he was snug as a bug in a rug.

"Fluff" magic items are great color for magic rich worlds.

[Morithias]

[QUOTE=Shadowleaf;9201394]
Unhandy Haversack: Things weigh twice as much if put into the Unhandy Haversack.[QUOTE]

Hulking hurler much?

Soulcutter blade: When drawn this blade sends a way of depression over a 100 meter radius. Nothing in the radius can do anything except lie down and wait for the end, be it via starvation, the cold, or a random bolt of lightning. Nothing is immune to this effect with one exception, a creature with an intelligence score of '-' (such as a zombie). The drawer of the blade is not immune to the effect if he/she is intelligent.

[Saintheart]

One I tend to include for armour that clerics wear: the armour's motif is generally that of the god the cleric follows. When the armour is passed to someone else, the motif changes into that of the god the new cleric follows. Has no actual magical effect in the game, but I think my players found it a nice touch...

[endoperez]

Soulcutter blade: When drawn this blade sends a way of depression over a 100 meter radius. Nothing in the radius can do anything except lie down and wait for the end, be it via starvation, the cold, or a random bolt of lightning. Nothing is immune to this effect with one exception, a creature with an intelligence score of '-' (such as a zombie). The drawer of the blade is not immune to the effect if he/she is intelligent.

That's like saying The One Ring is useless because it corrupts the wielder. In both cases, the drawback of the item isn't as bad in D&D as it was in the original book.

[Jack_Simth]

Soulcutter blade: When drawn this blade sends a way of depression over a 100 meter radius. Nothing in the radius can do anything except lie down and wait for the end, be it via starvation, the cold, or a random bolt of lightning. Nothing is immune to this effect with one exception, a creature with an intelligence score of '-' (such as a zombie). The drawer of the blade is not immune to the effect if he/she is intelligent.Once you figure out exactly what it is, it is far from useless, just really difficult to take advantage of. One way would be to give it to a Construct/skeleton/zombie/other disposable servant, and arrange to be able to order it around from outside the radius. Wipe out armies - die, no save.

[Techsmart]

I've tried including some silly magic items in mine, here are a few
sword of suffering - this rusty old sword has the spirit of an extremely miserable person sealed inside. Anytime you strike an opponent with this sword, it screams in misery, causing anyone within 10' - including the user and allies- to make a DC-11 fortitude save or be stunned for 1 round. After combat, the sword cries until it is sheathed.
+1 frying pan - someone wanted a +1 item, so I gave them this. It can function as a makeshift weapon, but it mostly just cooks a little better. +1 to craft checks involving food.

[Morithias]

Once you figure out exactly what it is, it is far from useless, just really difficult to take advantage of. One way would be to give it to a Construct/skeleton/zombie/other disposable servant, and arrange to be able to order it around from outside the radius. Wipe out armies - die, no save.

Question: How do you know that the blade is soulcutter without examining it, and how did you examine it without you know...drawing the sword out and activating it.

[chiasaur11]

Well, hopefully the weight pulled is limited based on the strength of the rope...

Two words.

One is Sovereign.

The other is glue.

[LordShotGun]

Depending on how I feel, the PCs may find a cup/bucket/barrel that will randomly transmute whatever liquid is placed into it into something else every 24 hours.

So you could place some water in the container and 24 hours later you could have a some cure light wounds potion in there. Or it could be some horrible horrible poison that the rouge would love. Or it could be some type of slime for a random encounter.

Basically your rolling the dice to see if you can improve your standings so while this item my not be TOTALLY useless, considering its effect only happens once a day and over time I have changed my dice roll list to include over 50 items, you may end up with something really valuable OR a black slime.

[panaikhan]

Amulet of Mr. T: Grants the wearer two extra neck slots, provided they act and speak like Mr. T at all times and give themselves a mohawk at the first opportunity. If the wearer ceases to act like Mr. T while wearing the amulet, they are subject to Mr. T's pity with no save.

I am sooooooooo stealing this :smallbiggrin:

[Jack_Simth]

Question: How do you know that the blade is soulcutter without examining it, and how did you examine it without you know...drawing the sword out and activating it.
1) Ring of X-Ray vision (examine it while sheathed).
2) Ring of Telekinesis (unsheath it a very good distance from you and watch all the woodland critters drop dead)
3) Raise Dead (After you've died, and the sword falls back into the sheath, you get raised by your party, and now know exactly what it does)
4) Simulacrum (you have a meaningless copy of yourself handle it)
... and so on. There's no real shortage of ranged effect manipulation methods in D&D.

Oh yes, and if it's a 'magic item' rather than an 'artifact', then Identify is Touch range, so all you need to reach is the hilt. No need to unsheathe the thing.

Really, while annoying to deliberately arrange, it's not something that'll never happen.

Two words.

One is Sovereign.

The other is glue.
Then you still have the base structural integrity of the item dragged to deal with. You cannot drag a stone castle by a two inch by two inch patch on it's surface - you'll snap the patch off, as the stone doesn't have that much structural integrity. This applies to most giant items. Sure, you'll be able to draw a wagonload of stuff, but that's about it.

[ArcaneMonkey]

Amulet of mail call:
a rectangular metal box that, once a month drops out a letter addressed to someone in the nearest town or city. The wearer must make a will save or deliver the letter as quickly as possible. they get a +1 to their save for every 10 miles from the recipient. The letter is indestructible and unopenable until it is either touched by the recipient or the recipient dies. (At the DM's option, for plot important things,The wearer is telepathically informed of the contents of the letter six hours after leaving the presence of the recipient, this will cause the wearer to wake up from sleep

[Azdoine]

Once, my players were searching through an archmages garbage can, when they found

Daerns Instant Toilet. This metal cube is small, but when the command word is spoken, the cube expands into a 5ft.-5ft.-10ft. adamantine box, containing a toilet, shower, sink, (they all fold out of the walls) with running water in hot or cold. (The deluxe version has a bath, too!:smallbiggrin:) The door has a small crescent for you to peer out of, though it may be closed should you want protection from the outside. The box contains internal illumination. The box cannot be tipped over, but can be destroyed (100 hit pionts, hardness 20). The toilet destroys all bodily waste inside,and never clogs up. The box also comes with an infinite supply of toilet paper, and contains a fresh bath towel every time you enter.

I know that this is actually pretty useful, but I thought it was silly enough to post here.:smallsmile:

[kardar233]

N-N-N-Necromancy!

But in a vain attempt to be on topic:

The Bag of Cake (or Death)

If a creature reaches into this small, red bag and politely says "Cake please", a piece of cake will appear in their hand. This cake, once eaten, confers the effects of a Hero's Feast spell for one hour. After three pieces of cake are taken out of the bag, the next creature to attempt to take a piece of cake out has one round (six seconds of real time) to name another edible object or dish, which will then appear in their hand. If they do not name a valid food, they are affected by a Slay Living at save DC 20.

[Ryulin18]

A +1 knife of beardtrimming. (Although a useful tactic against dwarves

I made an entire quest line out of a crazed barber (http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/23600000/Sweeney-Todd-villains-23621999-431-325.jpg) with an obsession for clean shaven men, running riot in a dwarven district of my main town.

He was a fearsome enemy, two weapon fighting with +8 razors of speed. He clean shaved the dwarven barbarian, the bear belt he was wearing and killed him in the first round...

[Mikeavelli]

I made an entire quest line out of a crazed barber (http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/23600000/Sweeney-Todd-villains-23621999-431-325.jpg) with an obsession for clean shaven men, running riot in a dwarven district of my main town.

He was a fearsome enemy, two weapon fighting with +8 razors of speed. He clean shaved the dwarven barbarian, the bear belt he was wearing and killed him in the first round...

Oh god.

This, This is happening in my campaign. A thousand times this.

[Grendus]

Old Hammer: This antique +1 gnome hooked hammer refuses to acknowledge the existence of anything that did not exist at the moment it was forged, a few centuries ago. It passes harmlessly through anything that was more recently made (forged, carved, or submitted to any major reconstruction), or any creature that was born after that point in time. On one hand, if you're fighting an elderly elf who's wearing relatively new armor, this is a useful thing to have... on the other hand, if you're fighting orcs, it's completely unusable.


Cover the hammer end with some old leather or cloth, now the hammer end can smash recent creations and the hook end can hack apart elves. Uselessness varies depending on how old it is.

Glass Eye of Unnerving staring: This glass eyeball will always face the creature who touched it most recently. If the eyeball is rotated without being physically touched (for example, if it is moved with a Mage Hand spell) the iris will automatically reposition itself to face the creature. If the creature has since left the plane (either through death or a Plane shift spell), the eyeball appears to not have an iris until the most recent toucher either returns to the plane or another creature touches the eye.

[panaikhan]

Boots of Dramatic Escape
When activated by command word, these boots cast "Expeditious Retreat" upon the wearer, and play the chase music from the B/W Flash Gordon loudly for the duration.

Cloak of Awesomesauce
This cloak provides a +4 bonus to charisma-based skills, but only while trying to influence small children or people with an INT lower than 8

[TuggyNE]

Cloak of Awesomesauce
This cloak provides a +4 bonus to charisma-based skills, but only while trying to influence small children or people with an INT lower than 8

Touch of idiocy etc would like a word with you :smallwink:. An untyped bonus if you can sneakily reduce their int first? Yes please!

[panaikhan]

Touch of idiocy etc would like a word with you :smallwink:. An untyped bonus if you can sneakily reduce their int first? Yes please!
Ok, I'm new at this 'bonus' milarky. Edit it to a +4 circumstance bonus

[Rejusu]

Technically not an item, but my DM was impressed at the magnificence of my Half-Giant PsyWarrs moustache (pictured) that he gave me the "Improved Moustache" feat. Which gives me a +2 bonus on all charisma based checks against other moustached creatures.

[Krotchrot]

Belt of Randy Savage: +2 untyped bonus to str but must talk like Randy Savage to benefit from the belt.

More like a Belt of Randy Savage: +to AWESOME

Also:
Sending Stones of 4G: Normal sending stones that on occasion drop the "call" or pick up tons of static, because, 4G doesn't exist yet or you have T-Mobile.

[tedthehunter]

Good stuff, people, here's what I've got.

Ring of Invisibility - Makes you invisible... and blind

Ring of Inaudibility - Makes you soundless... and deaf (Perfect for sneaking up on people and NOT listening to their conversations) Also, when you remove the ring, it screams the wearer's deepest, darkest secret for all to hear.

Aaaaand don't forget this one!

The Ring of Infinite Knowledge - Allows the wearer to discern another person's favorite color by shaking their hand.

[elpo]

Soulcutter blade: When drawn this blade sends a way of depression over a 100 meter radius. Nothing in the radius can do anything except lie down and wait for the end, be it via starvation, the cold, or a random bolt of lightning. Nothing is immune to this effect with one exception, a creature with an intelligence score of '-' (such as a zombie). The drawer of the blade is not immune to the effect if he/she is intelligent.

A book of swords reader? That sword is actually hugely powerful . Just get a zombie to draw the blade in the middle of the enemy army.

[elpo]

Also: the eavesdropper's friend. It's an ear which can turn into a nose (no senses included).

[truemane]

Has anyone yet mentioned the Ring of Extra Rings?

This plan, golden band confers upon the wearer an additional Ring magic item slot. The Ring of Extra Rings, of course, uses up a Ring slot when worn.

[Rejusu]

Has anyone yet mentioned the Ring of Extra Rings?

It's actually on the first page of this thread, albeit it's the amulet version:


A few classics:
The Amulet of Additional Amulet Space. This amulet permits you to exceed the normal number of magical items you are permitted to wear, by giving you an additional amulet body slot. The Amulet of Additional Amulet space does itself, however, consume an Amulet slot. (Ditto for Rings)

[nedz]

Sorry - I can't be bothered to re-read the thread.

Have we had the old classic Boots of Seven Leagues ?
Every step you take is 7 leagues long.

Or how about the Tutu of Invisibility ?
Invisibility 1/day, CL3, Will only work if worn all day.
Best if given to a fighter type.

[panaikhan]

The Amulet of Level Adjustment

This amulet features a golden disk, at the center of which is a crystal sphere. Inside this sphere is a second golden disk, which remains level with the ground at all times.

[Jack_Simth]

Stone of Silence
When a command word is given, the stone produces an area of Silence, identical to that produced by the silence spell, which lasts until the command word is given to the stone again.

... turning it off may be a little bit of a problem, though.