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taltamir
2010-07-18, 01:18 PM
It occurred to me that human teeth can NOT penetrate a human skull, ever. (afaik, there isn't an animal on earth that can crack a human skull in their teeth... they can crack some bones and eat the marrow, but not a skull)
If the magic of zombification somehow massively increases their strength, they will simply shatter their teeth and jaws on the skull rather then break it (and they should be strong enough to lift cars).
If the magic of zombification somehow increases their hardness and durability to the point they can, then they should be extremely hard to destroy, nearly impossible to decapitate, and bullets should bounce off of them. (9mm bullets often fail to penetrate a human skull... so if they are even tougher than that...)

So, in conclusion... zombies should eat the flesh of living humans, not their brains... of course... zombies don't make sense in general (dead muscles are useless, dead digestive system can't digest, if magic makes them move, might as well get rid of the useless flesh and just animate the bones as a skeleton... unless the flesh has been magically reinforced to make it more durable... mmm) ok yea, i went off on a tangent there. but basically, brains? not likely. (and zombies should not SPEAK, not even just 1 word)

Prodan
2010-07-18, 01:21 PM
Some people did not drink milk as children and consequently have brittle bones.

arguskos
2010-07-18, 01:22 PM
Tal, this is what I like to call "missing the target". :smalltongue:

Zombies tend to not make sense. Neither do dragons, teleportation, magic swords that drink souls, or glowing balls of light that fly and shoot lasers. Yet, these are all fantasy staples. Just roll with it dude.

EDIT: Prodan wins the thread. :smallbiggrin:

Thajocoth
2010-07-18, 01:23 PM
In the real world, zombies don't exist. In fiction, things don't have to make any scientific sense.

In conclusion:
http://engrishfunny.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/engrish-funny-brains.jpg?w=448&h=336
*eats Taltamir's brain*

ex cathedra
2010-07-18, 01:23 PM
Wow, it's almost as if you've realized that fictional creatures are naturally impossible, and, you know, fictional.

They only have to use their teeth to eat the brains, though. They can handle the skull through good-ole' bludgeoning. Not all zombies even eat brains. I just... I don't see the point of this.

Jack_Simth
2010-07-18, 01:25 PM
Fortunately, the D&D 3.5 Monster Manual entry says nothing about zombies eating brains. Or talking. See For Yourself (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/zombie.htm) for the SRD entry. You'll need to pick up a copy of the Monster Manual to read the full fluff, such as there is.

taltamir
2010-07-18, 01:27 PM
its really all a matter of consistency...
if zombies could tear through steel, lift cars, and broke swords with their bones... then it would be internally consistent, whatever magic made them undead also granted them strength and durability. but they aren't, they are as flimsy as ever, yet somehow penetrate skulls.

Also, I should have prefaced it with "not DnD"... i mean in general fantasy.

And of-course I realize its fictional... the whole thing is just one big mental wankery... like DnD, comic books, fantasy books, video games, etc...

Evard
2010-07-18, 01:30 PM
There is more than one way to de-skull a cat.. err human! Just cause they can't bite into the skull doesn't mean they can't get to the brain :P

devinkowalczyk
2010-07-18, 01:30 PM
It seems like there is some kind of animal on the planet that can pop out grape heads. I bet there are some humans who could pop them. Its tough, but not indestructable.


As for the brains, it is just stupid.
Why brains? They are just fatty fatty fatty things

Lyndworm
2010-07-18, 01:31 PM
In addition to the zombie-relevant points made by the fine folks above me, there are indeed several animals that can crush a human skull in their jaws.

Alligators, some crocodiles, some sharks, hyenas, toothed whales... Jaguars have the force needed but they can't open their mouths wide enough. Lions and/or tigers might be able to pull it off, too. I'm sure that I've missed some.

Ravens_cry
2010-07-18, 01:33 PM
Eh, D&D zombies don't even eat brains. They take more, though not all, from the voodoo mythos of the shaman creating a mindless eternal servant from a dead body.
Zombies in general that feed don't seem to want just the brain. In most films I have seen, which is few admittedly, they just are trying to feed on every part of you, not just the brain.

ericgrau
2010-07-18, 01:35 PM
Baseball bats put a hole in your argument. Or there's another big hole that already exists on the bottom of the skull.

Greenish
2010-07-18, 01:40 PM
Karrnathi zombies can speak (and thus moan "brainsssss…") and with a longsword they shouldn't have too many troubles with human skull.

All hail Karrnath!

Jack_Simth
2010-07-18, 01:40 PM
Also, I should have prefaced it with "not DnD"... i mean in general fantasy.Ah. Then you're Missing a Link in your argument (http://www.nukees.com/d/20091002.html).

taltamir
2010-07-18, 01:41 PM
Alligators, some crocodiles, some sharks, hyenas, toothed whales... Jaguars have the force needed but they can't open their mouths wide enough. Lions and/or tigers might be able to pull it off, too. I'm sure that I've missed some.

I didn't think about alligators and crocodiles...
I was thinking that most animals, hyenas, jaguars, lions, etc... would have problem fitting a human skull in their mouth. and the shape makes it extra hard to break through.

although this is an interesting article:
http://scienceblogs.com/laelaps/2010/06/repost_the_skull-crushing_hyen.php

In regards to toothed whales and sharks... I didn't take into consideration sea animals, whoops. :P


Ah. Then you're Missing a Link in your argument (http://www.nukees.com/d/20091002.html).

wow, that IS an essential point that I am missing!


Baseball bats put a hole in your argument. Or there's another big hole that already exists on the bottom of the skull.

ah, but in movies the zombies bite through the skull, they do not kill them human, tear off the head, remove the spine, and then eat the brain via the spine hole.

Greenish
2010-07-18, 01:42 PM
I didn't think about alligators and crocodiles...
I was thinking that most animals, hyenas, jaguars, lions, etc... would have problem fitting a human skull in their mouth. http://projectmadeline.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/lion.jpg

taltamir
2010-07-18, 01:43 PM
http://projectmadeline.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/lion.jpg

that picture is made of win!

ShadowsGrnEyes
2010-07-18, 01:44 PM
In addition to the zombie-relevant points made by the fine folks above me, there are indeed several animals that can crush a human skull in their jaws.

Alligators, some crocodiles, some sharks, hyenas, toothed whales... Jaguars have the force needed but they can't open their mouths wide enough. Lions and/or tigers might be able to pull it off, too. I'm sure that I've missed some.

beat me to it, but this is an accuracte statement.

in addition, WHile most of the human skull is in fact very very tough. there are a number of areas on the human skull that are actually Very very fragile. . . the bone at the back of the eye sockets is extreamly thin, Most of the face actually is very breakable. . .

Zombies have the benefit of hands and no muscle fatigue. . . while the classic image of them biting through the top of the head is pretty wrong, they could deffinetly tear their way through the face given a little time.

Threeshades
2010-07-18, 01:52 PM
How many zombies do you know that actually eat brains?

I can name one movie that features brain-eating zombies and all other examples are only parodistic comedy zombies. Usually zombies, if anything at all eat human flesh.

The movie i'm talking about is return of the living dead, in which the zombies could also speak, and i dont remember any of them successfully cracking a skull with their teeth.

Jergmo
2010-07-18, 01:56 PM
Well, with the Bloodthirsty zombie variant in Libris Mortis, we do get to have zombies that eat people. However...zombies haven't even gone for the brains in a long time, have you noticed? In most of the zombie movies I've seen, they go directly for the neck. They grab them (grapple) and bite their necks. However, a zombie could definitely bash open a skull, though, with their 1d6 slam attacks. It'd just take them several tries, though I agree that it should break the bones in their hands.

However, while you're correct about dead muscle and all that, you've gotta understand that the zombies/skeletons don't work that way. Particularly supporting this is that you have animated skeletons at all. Negative energy powers the undead, and keeps their muscles/bones/whatever running. Undead that eat flesh, such as ghouls, don't digest food. Their digestive systems are changed when they become undead, to convert it into negative energy.


ah, but in movies the zombies bite through the skull, they do not kill them human, tear off the head, remove the spine, and then eat the brain via the spine hole.

Someone hasn't watched Land of the Dead. Seriously, half the time the zombies were pulling off Mortal Kombat finishing moves.

Siegel
2010-07-18, 02:09 PM
Well, with the Bloodthirsty zombie variant in Libris Mortis, we do get to have zombies that eat people. However...zombies haven't even gone for the brains in a long time, have you noticed? In most of the zombie movies I've seen, they go directly for the neck. They grab them (grapple) and bite their necks. However, a zombie could definitely bash open a skull, though, with their 1d6 slam attacks. It'd just take them several tries, though I agree that it should break the bones in their hands.

However, while you're correct about dead muscle and all that, you've gotta understand that the zombies/skeletons don't work that way. Particularly supporting this is that you have animated skeletons at all. Negative energy powers the undead, and keeps their muscles/bones/whatever running. Undead that eat flesh, such as ghouls, don't digest food. Their digestive systems are changed when they become undead, to convert it into negative energy.



Someone hasn't watched Land of the Dead. Seriously, half the time the zombies were pulling off Mortal Kombat finishing moves.

From this (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeadUnicornTrope)

Everyone knows that zombies love to eat brains, and most humorous versions will use this trope. The trope seems almost entirely to stem from the 1985 comedy horror film Return Of The Living Dead and is absent from most 'serious' depictions of zombies, insomuch as any zombie film can be called serious.

Prodan
2010-07-18, 02:12 PM
The trope seems almost entirely to stem from the 1985 comedy horror film Return Of The Living Dead and is absent from most 'serious' depictions of zombies, insomuch as any zombie film can be called serious.

Mainly because those films were written by people without braaaaiiiiins.

Starbuck_II
2010-07-18, 02:26 PM
It occurred to me that human teeth can NOT penetrate a human skull, ever. (afaik, there isn't an animal on earth that can crack a human skull in their teeth... they can crack some bones and eat the marrow, but not a skull)

Did you just say the human skull is harder than steel? Rats can chew through steel. Yes, they can tear through a tank if they desired (they usually use this to get into pipes/sewers in real life to steal food).

chiasaur11
2010-07-18, 02:30 PM
I'm pretty sure some animals can break the human skull.

It's not easy, but...

Ah, looked up some figures.

Crocodiles can deliver enough force to crush human skulls. Good to know.

Spiryt
2010-07-18, 02:32 PM
Did you just say the human skull is harder than steel? Rats can chew through steel. Yes, they can tear through a tank if they desired (they usually use this to get into pipes/sewers in real life to steal food).

Hardness is hardly only factor in determining such things, though.

Also, is there any data on how much steel they can chew trough and how long it will take them?

Zeta Kai
2010-07-18, 03:10 PM
Alligators, some crocodiles, some sharks, hyenas, toothed whales... Jaguars have the force needed but they can't open their mouths wide enough. Lions and/or tigers might be able to pull it off, too. I'm sure that I've missed some.

Hippopotamuses, too. And they're mean sumbiches. Just imagine a zombie hippo... :smalleek:

Moff Chumley
2010-07-18, 03:44 PM
Some people did not drink milk as children and consequently have brittle bones.

*rewards with internet*

TheMeMan
2010-07-18, 04:00 PM
Did you just say the human skull is harder than steel? Rats can chew through steel. Yes, they can tear through a tank if they desired (they usually use this to get into pipes/sewers in real life to steal food).

Even still, it's a bit false. If I remember correctly it, it is "harder" but far more brittle than many metals. To get to our brains, you don't have to gnaw at the bone, such would be a pointless waste of time and energy. Depending on the point of the skull in question, anywhere from 15 to 200 pounds per square inch of force is need. Considering that most large dogs can easily crack certain areas of our skull, it's simply a moot point. The fact is, you don't use your teeth to puncture the skull, as it will crack quickly under even small force.

Greenish
2010-07-18, 04:11 PM
Did you just say the human skull is harder than steel? Rats can chew through steel. Yes, they can tear through a tank if they desired (they usually use this to get into pipes/sewers in real life to steal food).They don't chew, silly. They use tiny katanas.

Lycanthromancer
2010-07-18, 04:14 PM
They don't chew, silly. They use tiny katanas.Nah. That's Kitana (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitana_(Mortal_Kombat)). That dirty rat.

Yorrin
2010-07-18, 04:14 PM
I'm going to go with the "zombies dont eat brains" group and point out that zombies merely eat any sort of available flesh. Go read "The Zombie Survival Guide" and it will explain the whole process in scientific detail. It also differentiates between viral zombies, voodoo zombies, and necromantic zombies, which is an important distinction many people forget about.

Vaynor
2010-07-18, 04:29 PM
(afaik, there isn't an animal on earth that can crack a human skull in their teeth... they can crack some bones and eat the marrow, but not a skull)

Alligators. Also, who says they have to use their teeth to open the skull? It's quite possible to break open the skull on a rock or similar hard substance.

Threeshades
2010-07-18, 04:37 PM
I'm going to go with the "zombies dont eat brains" group and point out that zombies merely eat any sort of available flesh. Go read "The Zombie Survival Guide" and it will explain the whole process in scientific detail. It also differentiates between viral zombies, voodoo zombies, and necromantic zombies, which is an important distinction many people forget about.

Does it also have a bit about non-zombies? Like those in 28 days later, alive people who through infection merely behave similar to zombies?

ericgrau
2010-07-18, 04:38 PM
ah, but in movies the zombies bite through the skull, they do not kill them human, tear off the head, remove the spine, and then eat the brain via the spine hole.

I never saw a movie showing actual brain eating. Could be falling rubble or general carnage. FWIW teeth are harder than bone, but biting simply isn't the practical way to crack a shell. You bash it. Zombies didn't even go after brains specifically until 1985: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Return_of_the_Living_Dead


Did you just say the human skull is harder than steel? Rats can chew through steel. Yes, they can tear through a tank if they desired (they usually use this to get into pipes/sewers in real life to steal food).
Rats don't chew through steel, except wire.

Yorrin
2010-07-18, 04:40 PM
Does it also have a bit about non-zombies? Like those in 28 days later, alive people who through infection merely behave similar to zombies?

Well, it primarily talks about viral zombies- which it claims to be the most common irl. Though if the behavior is merely due to chamically induced brain-damage it fits within the book's definition of a voodoo zombie- which is to say that it isn't actually a zombie but a very specific pattern of brain damage that results in zombie-eque behavior, minus the eating of flesh.

Aroka
2010-07-18, 04:45 PM
The only films I've ever seen in which zombies eat brains are zombie parody/comedy B-movies. AFAIK it started with The Return of the Living Dead (1985) and its sequals, which are the only ones I can think of that involve the whole "Braaains... braaains..." deal. It's weird that the meme is so popular when it's pretty much unrelated to any serious zombie canon.

Edit: ericgrau, you bastard.

arrowhen
2010-07-18, 05:04 PM
Some people cleary don't understand fantasy physics. Zombies chew through skulls via the mechanism of "because it's AWESOME, damn it!"

And bone-softening saliva.

dps
2010-07-18, 05:17 PM
beat me to it, but this is an accuracte statement.

in addition, WHile most of the human skull is in fact very very tough. there are a number of areas on the human skull that are actually Very very fragile. . . the bone at the back of the eye sockets is extreamly thin, Most of the face actually is very breakable. . .

Zombies have the benefit of hands and no muscle fatigue. . . while the classic image of them biting through the top of the head is pretty wrong, they could deffinetly tear their way through the face given a little time.

It is possible for a RL living human to poke their finger through another person's skull through the eye, though as I understand it, it's not something that's easy to do, and it would be very unlikely to ever happen by accident.


Rats don't chew through steel, except wire.

Technically, rodents don't chew through metal, but they CAN gnaw through it. Given enough time, they can get through a foot or more of solid steel, or even lead. In practice, they don't actually do it, at least not normally, because they don't have any reason to do so.

Aroka
2010-07-18, 05:27 PM
Some people cleary don't understand fantasy physics. Zombies chew through skulls via the mechanism of "because it's AWESOME, damn it!"

And bone-softening saliva.

That's kinda the point I and ericgrau were making, though. Zombies only chew through skulls in horrible B-movie zombie comedies and derivative material thereof.

ericgrau
2010-07-18, 05:30 PM
Technically, rodents don't chew through metal, but they CAN gnaw through it. Given enough time, they can get through a foot or more of solid steel, or even lead. In practice, they don't actually do it, at least not normally, because they don't have any reason to do so.

They don't even chew through sheet metal. I think their teeth would wear out before making much progress if they tried anything substantial. Even with bone which is softer than teeth, the skull is just too thick and biting isn't the practical method.

Mordar
2010-07-18, 05:33 PM
As for the brains, it is just stupid.
Why brains? They are just fatty fatty fatty things

Well, there are exceptionally high levels of a number of hormones and neurotransmitters resident in the brain...just as we crave salty foods after sweating a lot, or sugary foods when short on instant energy, it is reasonable to assume that zombies require an exogenous source of these substances to survive.

Of course, by reasonable I mean "if you accept that zombies exist and require human brains as a primary or sole-source of nutrition"...

- M

ericgrau
2010-07-18, 05:35 PM
Lecithin, potassium, sodium, amino acids... zombies could live off of salted eggs just as easily then. Throw in some fish for the omega 3's.

Lycanthromancer
2010-07-18, 05:40 PM
They don't even chew through sheet metal. I think their teeth would wear out before making much progress if they tried anything substantial. Even with bone which is softer than teeth, the skull is just too thick and biting isn't the practical method.Rodentia dentata grows throughout the life of the animals, and they have to chew chew chew to keep their incisors worn down. Otherwise, they'll grow through their nasal cavities and into their brains.

The teeth regenerate. The steel doesn't.

Wikipedia is your friend. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodent#Characteristics)

Acero
2010-07-18, 05:43 PM
This was a big problem, but you see....

They have evolved... (http://www.cracked.com/funny-38-zombies/)

megabyter5
2010-07-18, 06:16 PM
I just had a thought about the whole "zombie eats your brain and you become a zombie and can only die if your brain is destroyed" paradox.

You know how mind flayers eat your brain and replace it with some creepy fluid that lets it control you? Maybe zombies have something similar that they can excrete through a gland in their mouths. By the way, whenever I come up with an idea like that, the tree in my yard starts violently convulsing. Does anyone know why that is?

Mordar
2010-07-18, 06:21 PM
Lecithin, potassium, sodium, amino acids... zombies could live off of salted eggs just as easily then. Throw in some fish for the omega 3's.

How about dopamine? See, for instance, Parkinson's patients when treated with specific in-situ stimulators that are capable of allowing nearly full-speed and control motion for a patient moments before stimulation would take as long as 30 seconds to cover 10 feet of walking? Is there a lot of that in eggs? :smallwink:

Other excellent target compounds that are certainly not as simple as those you have mention (none of which are neurotransmitters or hormone, though the amino acids can be of use...) include serotonin, epinephrine (which could explain why the zombies seem to prefer scaring their targets...spike the epi before munching!), oxytocin, LH, vasopressin, and the entire soup generated by the pituitary gland...

Lots of vital compounds made up there, and for the sake of internal logic, I can see a bunch of opportunities for one or more to be vital to zombie physiology.

- M

Coidzor
2010-07-18, 06:30 PM
See, this is why I want to see a Deadliest Warrior matchup between zombies and something else, just so someone will even half-ass examining the penetrative power of human jaws and teeth.

Even better of course, would be Myth-busters dealing with this sorta thing.

ericgrau
2010-07-18, 06:34 PM
How about dopamine? See, for instance, Parkinson's patients when treated with specific in-situ stimulators that are capable of allowing nearly full-speed and control motion for a patient moments before stimulation would take as long as 30 seconds to cover 10 feet of walking? Is there a lot of that in eggs? :smallwink:
Also derived from an amino acid. Or if you're missing that one enzyme to make the simple conversion, you can get it directly from chocolate. A couple other neurotransmitters are amino acids without any alteration, even.

Hormones themselves are signalling agents, and are not used for food value. Just like people don't actually run on caffeine, they run on the sugar that the caffeine signals to be released. If you could metabolize the hormones themselves into fuel then you could probably also metabolize the base cholesterol which hormones are made from, also found in eggs.

Beelzebub1111
2010-07-18, 06:37 PM
They don't chew through the skull. They bash the heads open first with their zombie super-strength, then chow down on your brains.

Also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq6BFHfJeNE&feature=related

Mordar
2010-07-18, 07:40 PM
Also derived from an amino acid. Or if you're missing that one enzyme to make the simple conversion, you can get it directly from chocolate. A couple other neurotransmitters are amino acids without any alteration, even.

Hormones themselves are signalling agents, and are not used for food value. Just like people don't actually run on caffeine, they run on the sugar that the caffeine signals to be released. If you could metabolize the hormones themselves into fuel then you could probably also metabolize the base cholesterol which hormones are made from, also found in eggs.

No, see you're missing my point. They don't need to eat the hormone, neurotransmitter or other "zombie-necessary-brain-derived component" for nutritional value...since they're dead flesh, they don't need to metabolize foodstuffs for fuels...they need it to continue being operational. Consider, for example, the "lysine contingency" discussed in the Crichton dino-books.

Think of the item (should I ever need to specify for a sciency horror setting, I'll use dopamine) as an essential item - the zombie can not synthesize it, and can not replace it (not being bright enough to consider injectables), so it must eat it...and the human brain serves as a wonderful source.

We can even say that the substance doesn't undergo denaturing from the host of digestive acids...because zombies don't have those anymore...

Now the new question is what do zombies use as molecular machinary to continue moving, and what provides the basis for whatever has replaced CK, ATP and beta-oxidation? Of course, that can be handwaved with "magic", but where's the fun in that?!?

Not to derail any further...but chocolate, no matter how tasty, can not provide the reaction that very specific cells in the brain are required to make...

Coidzor
2010-07-18, 08:06 PM
Now the new question is what do zombies use as molecular machinary to continue moving, and what provides the basis for whatever has replaced CK, ATP and beta-oxidation? Of course, that can be handwaved with "magic", but where's the fun in that?!?

There's also the question of how it gets from their gullets to anywhere useful.

Jeff the Green
2010-07-19, 12:16 AM
We can even say that the substance doesn't undergo denaturing from the host of digestive acids...because zombies don't have those anymore...

Except that if you didn't have the acids, proteases, and lipases that would digest any complex neurotransmitter or hormone (i.e. anything you couldn't get from plain old meat), you couldn't get to the substance since it'd be locked away inside the neurons.

Bongos
2010-07-19, 01:01 AM
Human teeth can't bite into coconuts either, but still we find a way. Zombie gonna eat those brains one way or the other.

...and until one is able to dissect a zombie any guesses as to their physiology must remain speculation.

Skeppio
2010-07-19, 01:08 AM
Except that if you didn't have the acids, proteases, and lipases that would digest any complex neurotransmitter or hormone (i.e. anything you couldn't get from plain old meat), you couldn't get to the substance since it'd be locked away inside the neurons.

So we've gone from discussing zombie jaw strength vs the human skull to discussing the nutritional value of brain matter and acceptable substitutes for it? This thread rules.

Another_Poet
2010-07-19, 01:30 AM
A lot of people are responding with "zombies don't make sense" or "it's fantasy."

Actually, although zombies are fictional, it makes perfect sense.

Zombies can bash a skull against the ground to get inside (and in D&D, they do have a slam attack, so yes they bash their victims). They can also chew into the neck (quite a common place to get bitten in zombie movies) and eventually access the brain by ripping chunks of it out of the neck-hole of the severed head.

Last, zombies don't exclusively eat brains in most fiction; they tend to bite/chew/rip any part of the person they can, and we frequently see them gnawing on an arm in movies or games, or eviscerating someone.

ap

edit: a.k.a. "what Bongos said."

Jergmo
2010-07-19, 01:54 AM
Some people cleary don't understand fantasy physics. Zombies chew through skulls via the mechanism of "because it's AWESOME, damn it!"

And bone-softening saliva.

Bonedrinker (Libris Mortis)/Illithid, anyone?

Illithid zombie!

LurkerInPlayground
2010-07-19, 01:56 AM
Zombies can bash your head in then eat your brains. The teeth thing is entirely poetic license.

Also: You don't need to digest brains to eat them. I can eat dirt and not digest it.

Ergo, zombies can eat brains.

Thajocoth
2010-07-19, 02:39 AM
Bonedrinker (Libris Mortis)/Illithid, anyone?

Illithid zombie!

They eat twice the brains?

faceroll
2010-07-19, 03:41 AM
It occurred to me that human teeth can NOT penetrate a human skull, ever. (afaik, there isn't an animal on earth that can crack a human skull in their teeth... they can crack some bones and eat the marrow, but not a skull)

So you basically made some stuff up and decided it was truth?
Haha, cool story bro, but here's a simple refutation of your argument (ignoring how brittle your temples are, weak spots in the skull and the crushing power of different animal jaws and a little dedication to getting your sweet brain meats):

All mammalian teeth are coated in enamel. Enamel is harder than any other substance your body produces. Therefore, teeth can be used to grind their way into skulls, thanks to the rules of hardness.\

The actual rules of hardness with Mohs and everything.