Misheard Spells

[Amiel]

Refuse
Conjuration (Teleportation)
Level: Clr 7, Sor/Wiz 9
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Object touched
Duration: Permanent until discharged
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

You create powerful garbage. This strongly nauseating object contains the power of offensive stench and vile odor and may be instantly transported across any distance within the same plane to another's abode; it can be used both as a warning and a practical joke, it's versatile like that.

The garbage may be given willingly to a creature along with the command word or words used to activate its power. To make use of the object, the subject speaks the special phrase. When this is done, the individual and all items it is wearing along with the party (if the case may be) are instantly dumped upon by a torrent of a barrage of steaming revolting garbage

This torrent may be made permanent with the permanency spell.

Material Component

One bottle of garbage juice.


Power Word Krill
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Death, Mind-Affecting]
Level: Sor/Wiz 9, War 9
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One living creature with 100 hp or less
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes

You utter a single word of power that instantly fills one creature of your choice with krill causing that creature to burst from the excess seafood; whether the creature can hear the word or not is irrelevant.

Additionally, you may wish to forego that utterance and cause a targeted creature of your choice to experience a deep longing insatiable appetite for tiny crustaceans. The creature so targeted must eat until bursting or until she experiences a severe allergic reaction going into anaphylaxis whichever comes first.

Material Component

A single krill

Spay Living
Necromancy (Death)
Level: Clr 5, Death 5
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Living creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial
Spell Resistance: Yes

You can spay any one living creature in a genetically unbiased manner, neutering it completely; rendering it infertile, castrated and unable to ever conceive. You must succeed on a melee touch attack to touch the subject, and it can avoid eunuchood or maidenhood with a successful Fortitude save. If it succeeds, it instead takes 3d6 points of damage +1 point per caster level.

Explosive Runs!

Explosive Runs
Abjuration [Force]
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: One touched object weighing no more than 10 lb.
Duration: Permanent until discharged (D)
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: Yes

You trace mystic sigils in the air within vicinity of the victi...er, subjects. All within 60 feet of the magical invisible runes hanging upon the air suffer explosive diarrhea, pleading with their adventuring companions to find the nearest toilet, or suffer the wrath of a tempestuous brown storm.
Anyone close enough to the runes, at least within five feet, does not receive a Fort saving throw and must empty their bowels immediately; any other creature within 10 feet of the runs is entitled to a Will or Fort save for half effect.

The sigils may remain upon the air indefinitely, or until removed. You and any characters you designate as friendly can read the protected writing without triggering the runes. Another creature can remove them with a successful dispel magic or erase spell, but attempting to dispel or erase the runes and failing to do so triggers explosive diarrhea in the offender.

[rakkoon]

You, Sir, have a dirty mind.

I like that in a man!

[Amiel]

:smallbiggrin: Explosive runs!

There's plenty more where that came from! wait, is this ?, the more relevant punctuation mark?
I must admit, I had fun designing them.

Also looking forward to what others come up with :)

[Felyndiira]

Also looking forward to what others come up with :)

A lot of fun, this seems to be :smallbiggrin:.


FabricLate™
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: See Text
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: Up to 10 cu. ft./level; see text
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

You convert fabric of some sort into fabric that is always one step behind its wearer. When cast on clothing, armor, or a creature, nothing will happen initially; however, as soon as the creature donning the clothing/armor moves, the armor will phase through her body and lag behind her, always floating in the 5' square that she last occupied (but never in the same square as the creature). If the spell is cast on a creature, it affects all clothing and armor that she may be wearing.

Casting requires 1 round per 10 cubic feet (or 1 cubic foot) of fabric to be affected by the spell.

Material Component
The original fabric to be affected by this spell.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

The spell I always bring up in this sort of topic:

Misspell Magic
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: 1 magical effect
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

Make a dispel check against a single spell effect currently active on a creature; if this check is successful, immediately change the chosen effect to be a misheard spell appropriate to the existing spell's name.

[Sereg]

A gift. Of course, I'll still be happy to see any new ones.

[lesser_minion]

FabricLate™

* Snip *

So, it's a nondestructive Amiria's Amusing Apocalypse. Awesome!

Wings of Curry
Conjuration (Creation)

Level: Sor 4 (sorcerer-only)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: One standard action.
Range: 30 ft
Effect: Sufficient food to feed one person per caster level.
Duration: One hour (see text)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

You evoke a giant pile of chicken wings on a bed of pilau rice and biryani sauce.
Enough curry is created to satisfy one person per caster level. After one hour, any uneaten curry disappears, but eaten curry continues to supply nourishment.


I'm going to avoid the whole "breathing fire" cliché. The Misspelled joke is good enough. Also, in D&D terms, capsaicin deals acid damage.

[Peregrine]

Brilliant work, Amiel (and the rest of you). I love this sort of thing. So why I came up with this next spell, I'll never know...

Halt Pun Dead
Abjuration
Level: Bard 1
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 immediate action
Range: 0 ft.
Area: 10 ft. burst centred on you
Duration Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: No

This spell is cast when the caster hears or even suspects that a pun is being made. It prevents all creatures in the area from perceiving the pun, including the caster. If the punning creature is in the area, it realises that its pun went unheard.

If the pun formed part of a spell or a spell-like, supernatural or extraordinary special attack, such as the dashing swordsman's ability to add its Charisma modifier to damage rolls, that spell or ability is negated as far as creatures within the area are concerned.

[Debihuman]

This is an old one of mine from a previous thread on this topic:

Cause Bare
Illusion (Glamer)
Level: Brd 2, Sor/Wiz 2, Trickery 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal or touch
Target: You or a creature
Duration: 1 min./level (D)
Saving throw: Will negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)

Any items worn or carried by the creature touched become invisible, vanishing from sight and the creature appears naked. Items dropped by the creature become visible; items picked up by the target of this spell disappear from view. Anyone with true seeing can see the gear and items worn.

[Siosilvar]

Halt Pun Dead

So... a spell that doesn't do anything as it negates itself instantaneously?

[Morph Bark]

Brilliant work, Amiel (and the rest of you). I love this sort of thing. So why I came up with this next spell, I'll never know...

Halt Pun Dead
Abjuration
Level: Bard 1
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 immediate action
Range: 0 ft.
Area: 10 ft. burst centred on you
Duration Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: No

This spell is cast when the caster hears or even suspects that a pun is being made. It prevents all creatures in the area from perceiving the pun, including the caster. If the punning creature is in the area, it realises that its pun went unheard.

If the pun formed part of a spell or a spell-like, supernatural or extraordinary special attack, such as the dashing swordsman's ability to add its Charisma modifier to damage rolls, that spell or ability is negated as far as creatures within the area are concerned.

That would actually be an extremely good defense against my Pungeon Pendragon ToB discipline... kudos.

[Peregrine]

So... a spell that doesn't do anything as it negates itself instantaneously?

*snicker* :smallbiggrin: