Venting about game drama

[valadil]

I have to vent. I'm not looking for advice about my situation - I know the answer is to just talk it out like adults. Commiseration and affirmation that I'm not an insensitive clod would be helpful though.

So I game with a lot of people. I have a group from high school (A), a group from college (B), and a group of my wife's theater friends who I'm trying to get to know better. They would be group C, but they don't enter into things so they don't get a label.

In group B everybody is a GM. When one game finishes somebody else takes over and runs the next one. I like this dynamic, although I don't like that the group has a set of general assumptions that gets imposed on everyone (fudging is encouraged, group must be cohesive, PC death is a sin). It's not the assumptions that I mind, it's their imposition. But that's besides the point.

I ran my last two campaigns for group B. Inevitably, war stories from those games made their way to group A. They seemed jealous, so I told them I'd run for them next.

So I started a game for group A. I got 3 of those players, but the other ones I had in mind didn't work out. I invited a couple people who had just joined group B to my new group. They missed out on my two previous games and they got along with group A at a party I threw, which is why I picked them.

One of the players in group B doesn't like this at all. I'm not sure if he objects to me running for a separate group or if he's jealous he wasn't one of the players I picked.

I was expecting that I'd have to explain myself when he first heard he was left out. That was fine, whatever. But the other game started 6 months ago and he's still making snide remarks about it. It's like he thinks I'm cheating on the group or something (and not in a game sense).

I don't like being forced to choose people. I don't see why it's unacceptable to share my time. I can understand some jealousy that I picked two players from group B over the others, but those two were new to the group and I'd never run for them. And I thought they'd get along with group A better (and I was right about that).

On top of that, I actually went back and counted how much GMing I've done. As I mentioned, my last two campaigns were for group B. They were 18 and 12 sessions long. Group A had my previous two campaigns which were 8 and 6 sessions. At the time I decided to run for A, B had had literally more than twice the gaming sessions that A did. And I've never even thought about GMing for C.

Thanks for reading. I feel better now. And yes, I know the answer is to just talk to the player from B. If I'm still pissed off next time I see him, I will.

[rakkoon]

Wow, take it as a compliment that people are fighting over ya?

[Superglucose]

Our monday GM is doing something to avoid this drama on livejournal. He's got a group of people he "specially invited" and is "hiding their names" to avoid "drama."

I mean, you have legitimate drama on your hands, but our GM is just weird sometimes.

[banjo1985]

Sounds like you've got a little grenn-eyed monster in your Group B there...as you say, talking it through with them is probably the first port of call. Their snide remarks might actually just be a poor attempt at a joke, I he/she finds out that it affects you in this way then if they've got any sense they'll stop. If not, well there's always other players that could come in that would no doubt not mind sharing their GM.

[valadil]

Wow, take it as a compliment that people are fighting over ya?

I'm trying to ;-) Although technically it's just one person who is fighting.


Our monday GM is doing something to avoid this drama on livejournal. He's got a group of people he "specially invited" and is "hiding their names" to avoid "drama."

I mean, you have legitimate drama on your hands, but our GM is just weird sometimes.

Lovely. Going to effort to avoid drama usually has the opposite effect.

It had occurred to me to give group B an explanation of why they wouldn't be getting my next game. But I figured something like that would make a big deal about it, while treating it casually would indicate it wasn't a big deal. That and while group A showed jealousy before, they never gave me a hard time about GMing elsewhere. They just wanted a fair slice of my time.


Sounds like you've got a little grenn-eyed monster in your Group B there...as you say, talking it through with them is probably the first port of call. Their snide remarks might actually just be a poor attempt at a joke, I he/she finds out that it affects you in this way then if they've got any sense they'll stop. If not, well there's always other players that could come in that would no doubt not mind sharing their GM.

If it has been an attempt at humor, nobody picked up on that. I don't think it was. I have no intention to start posting out of context quotes here and letting y'all figure out if the jealous player is joking around or not.

But anyway, I'm still undecided if it's worth asking him to stop. I expect a full blown argument if I bring it up. As a generally non-confrontational person I can't decide if I'm more bothered by getting into an argument or being subtly insulted a couple times a month. Yesterday I was leaning toward confrontation, but after posting this I feel better and may just let it slide.

[742]

you know, talking is overrated. have you ever tried hunting? and no i dont mean stalking, thats creepy and invasive and just no, but giving them a knife and a five minute head start? i find it a delightful solution to many of lifes problems.

that or maybe a letter?

maybe:
"dEar eXPLetive deleteted

ObviouSly I wish to VERify that yoU have a problem with the lack of exclusivity oN my dming thEy (that iS to say group a)"

honestly it doesnt matter what you say after "is". it diffuses tension for the delivery, and if your a half competent spellcaster it completely resolves the problem by itself.

[Brewdude]

What it sounds like is you need proper return snide comments. Take their most glaring flaw that nobody mentions and say that if he were in that other group, that flaw would occur. "Yup, occasionally I like a game where I can kill a player without them throwing a hissy fit".

Alternatively, mention their fear directly in a joking manner as the reason you didn't invite them. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you swing that way". "Hey, let me keep that on the down low in peace, eh?"

Don't forget veiled threats! "Yes, I am that popular. It's a good thing I still grace you with my presence here occasionally, isn't it?" "Wow, it would be a shame if it got so negative here as to not be worth coming. It's a good thing people don't make snide comments about my gaming habits all the time or I might get annoyed."

F em if they can't take a joke.