Facepalm!

[grimbold]

I just rolled up a greatsword that had 2 magic abilities, those magic abilities were i kid you not- anarchic (does an extra 2d6 to lawful creatures, does a negative level to lawful creatures trying to weild it)
and
Axiomatic (does an extra 2d6 to chaotic creatures does a negtive level to chaotic creatures tryin to weild it.)
and the fighter is neutral
i think im just going to give him the 4d6 greatsword except against neutral creatures.

what are the odds?

has anybody else ever rolled up a facepalm magic item?

[Greenish]

has anybody else ever rolled up a facepalm magic item?Given any particular definition of "facepalm" item, statistics say "yes".

[KillianHawkeye]

No, but I got a randomly dropped weapon in the original Diablo that was completely and utterly pointless:

Useless Hammer of Corruption
-100% Damage
User Loses All Mana

[hamishspence]

Holy Good Outsider Bane (or any similar combination) would be distinctly lacking in synergy.

[grimbold]

ok im ticked i just rolled up a holy/unholy weapon :(

[hamishspence]

There's a monster in MMIV whose weapon counts as holy, unholy, anarchic, axiomatic- the Concordant Killer.

The player can't get that weapon though, since it only functions while being used by the monster.

[squishycube]

Wait what? I thought only computer games pulled that stuff. D&D is becoming more and more like a mumorpurger with each book that comes out...

[RE:Insanity]

I once rolled a sentient shield of fire resistance that had a fear of fire. And was on fire. And once a day, the user could cast fireball. But only if on fire.

[Ingus]

I once rolled a sentient shield of fire resistance that had a fear of fire. And was on fire. And once a day, the user could cast fireball. But only if on fire.

You win.


But not so far is the +1 vorpal greatclub

[panaikhan]

How about a Brillient Energy weapon of Destruction?

[Krazddndfreek]

Wait what? I thought only computer games pulled that stuff. D&D is becoming more and more like a mumorpurger with each book that comes out...

No actually this is core. I believe he is using the tables at the back of the dm guide for randomly creating magic weapons.

[RE:Insanity]

You win.


But not so far is the +1 vorpal greatclub

Thanks, but let's not forget about the holy armor of demonic fury!

[Snake-Aes]

Merciful Nine Lives Stealer. If anything, a thematic facepalmer.

[Aroka]

ok im ticked i just rolled up a holy/unholy weapon :(

You realize that given a sufficiently large number of rolls, you'll roll up all combinations of weapon abilities, right?


Wait what? I thought only computer games pulled that stuff. D&D is becoming more and more like a mumorpurger with each book that comes out...

What? Becoming like what? These results are achievable with the original 3.0 DMG from 9 years (or whatever) ago.

[RE:Insanity]

You realize that given a sufficiently large number of rolls, you'll roll up all combinations of weapon abilities, right?


A high enough level item can have everything on it.
Win to however lists every item ability and whatnot for fun.
EDIT:I just broke the 3 post rule didn't I?

[BobVosh]

The oddest item I rolled was +4 keen merciful rapier.

Although I did get a +3 heavy steel shield with either resist 20 or 30 for each element.(except sonic)

[Prime32]

Ever played Morrowind? The sword which came to be known as the "Bipolar Blade" was intended to be the ultimate weapon - each half was crafted in secret by a team of the world's greatest smiths and enchanters, then the mastermind joined them together. It turned out that one half had been enchanted to induce frenzy, while the other had been enchanted to induce calm. So... yeah.

[Aroka]

Win to however lists every item ability and whatnot for fun.

Is it me or does this sentence not make sense? What is "win to" ?

[RE:Insanity]

As in they win this thread.

[Kurald Galain]

I remember the Might and Magic series had such gems as the Leather Sword...

[boj0]

Merciful + Wounding
lol wut?

[Greenish]

I remember the Might and Magic series had such gems as the Leather Sword...A perfectly legit and sensible weapon in Kingdom of Loathing.

[Serpentine]

EDIT:I just broke the 3 post rule didn't I?Only applies in SMBG.

I think it works fine. A holy/unholy/axiomatic/anarchic weapon would make a great Blade of Balance.

[RE:Insanity]

It'd kill everyone it touched...

[grimbold]

yes i was using core

[Serpentine]

It'd kill everyone it touched...Not if you're True Neutral.

[hamishspence]

I think one of the Sage Advice Q&A's said that double bane weapons, don't stack. I'm not sure about similar double-aligned weapons.

So, for example, an Evil Outsider Bane/Chaotic Outsider Bane weapon won't do 4d6 extra damage to demons. Only 2d6.

I'm not sure if a Holy Axiomatic sword would do 4d6 extra damage to demons, or fall afoul of the same thing. Maybe it's only Bane weapons that have that problem.

[Escheton]

Any outsiderbane weapon that is also an energy(burst) weapon would be pretty redundant.

A cold iron smiter would be useless except on crits against most constructs.

[Ingus]

It'd kill everyone it touched...

Nope. The boring true neutral would not be so boring, after all :D

[Serpentine]

Bah. I like True Neutral :smalltongue:
I think I'll make my next character a "paladin"* of balance...

*Small-P. I'd like to see a big-P Paladin of Balance, but I don't know how it'd work.

[Amphetryon]

Bah. I like True Neutral :smalltongue:
I think I'll make my next character a "paladin"* of balance...

*Small-P. I'd like to see a big-P Paladin of Balance, but I don't know how it'd work.

Dragon #310 has one. It's called an Incarnate. It's flavorful, but not especially well thought-out.

[EagleWiz]

In some computer game (forget the name) I got a random item Imperial Star of Death. Not a bad weapon but come on.

[Theodoxus]

Nitpick / thread derail warning...

Holy doesn't mean "really good", it means "to be set apart from". Hence, Unholy doesn't mean "really bad", it means "to not be set apart from" - In other words, Holy is special and rare and has no connotation towards morals. Unholy is common and general - and again has no connotation towards morals.

I know it's generated it's own meaning through iterations of this game, but it still kinda bugs.

/Rant off

Carry on with your silly weapon enchantment combinations.

[Kurald Galain]

Holy doesn't mean "really good", it means "to be set apart from".

holy (comparative holier, superlative holiest)

Adjective
1. Dedicated to a religious purpose or a god.
2. Revered in a religion.
3. Perfect or flawless.
4. Separated or set apart from (something unto something or someone else).
5. Set apart or dedicated for a specific purpose, or for use by a single entity or person.
6. (slang) Used as an intensifier in various interjections.

---

unholy (comparative unholier or more unholy, superlative unholiest or most unholy)

Adjective
1. Something that is evil, impure, or otherwise perverted.

[Krazddndfreek]

He was probably thinking about profane and... some other word that means what he was trying to say. Profane essentially used to mean "mundane" or "worldly", its connotations and eventually its meaning changed to "vile" or "evil".

Holy may have actually meant what he said it did actually... that meaning could just be so archaic, they never listed it in the dictionary.

[Morph Bark]

Holy may have actually meant what he said it did actually... that meaning could just be so archaic, they never listed it in the dictionary.

Except for points 4 and 5 in the dictionary quote two posts above mine, of course.

[balistafreak]

Only applies in SMBG.

I think it works fine. A holy/unholy/axiomatic/anarchic weapon would make a great Blade of Balance.


It'd kill everyone it touched...

There's a trick, I believe, involving a True Neutral holding a quiver of Holy, Unholy, Axiomatic, and Anarchic arrows. There are >20 arrows of each type. If you aren't True Neutral, you instantly explode. (Unless you can make the UMD check.)