Need some Fantasy insults...

[Nanoblack]

Pretty soon I'm going to be playing an anti-elf necromancer, so I though I'd plan ahead for some creative language to throw around in-game.

So far I have "twiglings" and "Leafbloods". I wish to put those arrogant tree-dwellers in their place so any help is appreciated.

Insult List:Orc-bait
Dew-drinkers
Knife-ear
Dandilion eater
Tree-fairies
Spearears.
Featherweight.
Drowkin.
Olf (sounding closer to Oaf when your character deems appropriate.)
Yesterman/Yesterfolk.
"Bend over and take it like an elf"
"Keep coming up with different sorts of you, longears, you'll get it right eventually."
pointy-eared people who excel at poverty
moss-chewer
root-rider
albino drow

EDIT: Sidenote... If you have any ideas for flavorful ways to be "Anti-elf" I'd like to hear it.

EDIT 2: As well as any item recommendations for items or weapons that'll aid me in my endeavors to rub salt in their wounds.

[thompur]

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

[Prime32]

So far I have "twiglings" and "Leafbloods".How could someone have leaves for blood? :smallconfused:

Seems like a good opportunity to call someone a sap though. :smalltongue:


EDIT: Pointy-eared pansies.

[Nanoblack]

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

Haha very good but I'm looking for something a bit more serious. I want it to sound a bit more like a racial slur that fits properly into the setting without sounding gaudy. (I hope I don't get into trouble from the admins for this... its purely for better RP)

[Yora]

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

Damn! That was exactly what I was thinking when I saw the threat title! :smallbiggrin:

[valadil]

I think you'll have an easier time insulting their high class snootiness than their hippie ways. Self deprecate around them. Bow and refer to them by titles drenched in sarcasm. Then insult their hippieness.

"Why yes, Lord Treef*****, of course you should be the one to count the gold from the treasure. I'd devalue it with my human musk, assuming I could count coins half so well as your lordship."

[Telonius]

Orc-bait
Dew-drinkers

[Chiron0224]

From dragonage: Knife-ear
From Shadowrun: Dandilion eater
From me: Tree-fairies

[Nanoblack]

I'll be adding everything posted down here to the list in the OP.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Pointy-eared bastards

[Toric]

Racial slurs for elves you say? Let's see what comes off the top of my head.

Spearears. Semi-ninja'd
Featherweight.
Drowkin.
Olf (sounding closer to Oaf when your character deems appropriate.)
Yesterman/Yesterfolk.

[Xallace]

Some other ways to be anti-elf:

If something is ridiculous and unnecessary, assume it's elven. (i.e. "You can Rebuke Hippos? What is that, some kinda Elven spell?") If you find out that such a thing is not elven, apologize profusely for the comparison.

Refuse to eat elven food, or imbibe elven drink. Not directly because its elven, but with how long they take to do anything you figure it's probably gone bad by the time it gets to your plate.

Be attracted to drow.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Quick question that may help this: Are the elves in your setting eldritch abominations/total bastards/both? Why is your character prejudiced against them?

(In my comic, in the world named Aequar, nearly everybody thinks that the elves are a race of total bastards, but they're not. If anything, they're extremely friendly cloudcuckoolanders. One of the main characters hates elves mostly because they're naturally dexterous and good at magic, but that's because, although they're much closer to humans and other humanoid races, elves are distant cousins of the actual fey in Aequar, and the fey races are all extremely magical in nature.)

[Spiryt]

Mother****

Not fantasy but always works.

:smalltongue:

Seriously though, it would entirely depend on reasons etc of his/her racism and hate, so setting and PC story specific.

Anyway, if you're male, winking suggestively to an elf male (that you know is male, but...) or vice versa.

Alternatively something like "you flat board", again directed to elf guy.

[Nanoblack]

They are one of two sides in a massive war that's been going on since he was a kid. He had been taken and tortured when he was younger and even though all of this happened on Elven territory, it was the an order of human paladins that rescued him.

Thats the main reason, but also because of their aloofness and arrogance despite them being physically less "durable".

[CoffeeIncluded]

Ah, so they're your traditional elves.

Don't let him interrogate a captive elf.

[Form]

If your character does something better than an elf make sure to rub it in their face, especially if it's something elves are supposed to be good at. If an elf fails at something they're supposed to be good at, remind them of their gross incompetence and point out that even at their best they're still rubbish.

You play a necromancer? Express disdain for 'elven biological materials' when talking about necromancy. Going too far with using necromany to annoy elves may result in getting attacked by them though.

[Nanoblack]

Ah, so they're your traditional elves.

Don't let him interrogate a captive elf.

Haha no one would ever see the elf again...

He also has the construction of an underground fighting ring planned. Him being a necromancer, he wants to have a Land of the Dead-esque zombie arena. There'll be gambling and everything! His elf-hate has him so excited!

Side-note: Smart necromancers only talk about necromancy to other necromancers. Actually in this game everybody just sees him as the charismatic doctor/mortician/alchemist.

[Form]

Side-note: Smart necromancers only talk about necromancy to other necromancers. Actually in this game everybody just sees him as the charismatic doctor/mortician/alchemist.

Well, he could still express disdain for elven biology as a doctor/mortician if the oppertunity arises. Just don't make any remarks about necromancy when he does so.

[Wubs]

Gender confusion is also good for any npc elf male as an insult.

Tree Harpy (since they always seem to screech like harpies about nature)
Stick up yer arse
Freedom Blightin' Elves
Twick (Twig + ****)
Pansy Pushers
Posie Prancers
Vegan (modern term, might be derogatory in a fantasy setting though)

[AtwasAwamps]

"Human wannabe"

[Spiryt]

Gender confusion is also good for any npc elf male as an insult.


"Fried eggs" ?

[Zeta Kai]

"Your mother slept with a human! All your mothers slept with a human!!"

[Kurald Galain]

"You fight like a dairy farmer!"

[Snake-Aes]

Fairy ****ers come to mind.

[PId6]

"You have a Constitution penalty and suck for all classes!" :smalltongue:


"You fight like a dairy farmer!"
"Well you fight like a cow!"

[Snake-Aes]

Tree Humpers.

[jiriku]

"Face like the south end of a northbound ogre, if you know what I mean."

[JBento]

Express your disdain for elves even when disparaging non-elves.

"Bend over and take it like an elf" became an instant favourite of mine ever since I saw it on these boards (I didn't come up with it - will the real slim insulter please stand up, please stand up?)

[Telonius]

"Keep coming up with different sorts of you, longears, you'll get it right eventually."

[The Big Dice]

You could always try the Shakepearian Insult Generator. (http://www.william-shakespeare.org.uk/a1-shakespearean-insults-generator.htm)

[Ravens_cry]

"Face like the south end of a northbound ogre, if you know what I mean."
Reply
"Well, it looks like your mother met the north end of a northbound ogre, if you know what I mean.""

[Andion Isurand]

"Your existance is one only a mother would miss, and then forget if she were lucky."

"You should know that a fool and his torso are soon parted."

"Poor fool, let me be the end of you, and thus prevent further weakness from being bred into your kind."

[RE:Insanity]

Orc ****ing pansies.

[Safety Sword]

I'm just glad my comment from This thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=9013268#post9013268) made the cut :smallcool:

[Concrete]

Twigbones
Softflesh
Pompous, overbearing Highminds

Not really slurs, but you shoud be able to come up with something about their
language (Grammarnazis), their names (Long, convoulted and pretentious).
Or go into long rants about them being an under-race of some kind.

[RE:Insanity]

Growth-stunted whiny little bitches.
You figure something with a head that big would be intelligent.

[ExtravagantEvil]

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"



Damn! That was exactly what I was thinking when I saw the threat title! :smallbiggrin:

Same here, weird

[Ajadea]

Refuse to wield bows, longswords, shortswords, and rapiers. Elves wield them, so they must suck. Get a +1 elfbane non-sword weapon. Other than that, I have no ideas.

[Dr.Epic]

"Pointy-eared, bow-using nerf herder!"

[RE:Insanity]

That's our word! Only we can use that word!
Who my nerfherder?
Hehe. Gotta love spoofs.

[deuxhero]

Planescape has tons of good stuff.

[Dr.Epic]

That's our word! Only we can use that word!
Who my nerfherder?
Hehe. Gotta love spoofs.

I hate that episode of Family Guy.:smallmad: Seth MacFarlane would now comedy if it attacked him in a giant chicken costume.:smallfurious:

[Premier]

"Their war god must have a great sense of humour. I mean, just look at them!"

[Dr.Epic]

"Their war god must have a great sense of humour. I mean, just look at them!"

What's the difference between a cleric of Corellon Larethian and a cleric of horse feces?

The cleric of horse feces smells better.

[Hadrian_Emrys]

Back when I was still playing Vanguard (semi-obscure MMO) I ran a male human bard while my girlfriend went with a female elf blood mage (oh the menstrual humor flowed like, you get the idea). Given that we were within slapping distance from each other, it never occurred to us to type anything but in-character dialogue. So, given that her character's persona was an insufferably arrogant ass, we began verbally cutting into each other during our downtime. Things got so heated at one point that the rest of the party started attempting to mediate our dispute (like hell we were going to let them know that we knew/loved each other IRL :smallbiggrin:). In any case, here's a list of some of the racial slurs that seemed to trigger the most knee-jerk reactions out of folks:

Keebler
moss-chewer
tree-****er
fruit-****er
eco-terrorist
hippy Luddite
root-rider
albino drow

There were more, but the ones listed above are what immediately came to mind.

[ScionoftheVoid]

Based on the art of their deity and their main representative (Corellon Larethian and Mialee, respectively), Elves seem to really "like" frogs.

On another note: "So let me get this straight, Corellon Larethian needed to stop liking Lolth because of what She had done. For some reason just the thought of Her atrocities wasn't enough, so he made Her into a spider demon. Unfortunately the god of the tree-****ers still wanted her, so he changed her skin colour and that worked (Note that where he banished Her and her followers meant that this was an advantage to them). That's an amoral, arachnophiliac, racist with the tactical knowledge of the bark he makes soft, Elven love to right there. I really don't see why these peo-, sorry, things are treated better than Orcs or Goblins."

Wow, that got quite long.

[ShadowsGrnEyes]

Call them female. . . no matter what. . . . even after much correction. in fact . .insist that elves are the only girls youll hit becaues they obviously killed off all their men so really its defense of the male race to beat up on elves. . . cause they're men killers and out to destroy other races men by pretending somtimes to be men just to ruin the good name of man.

you can even try to apeal to non elf women by telling them to protect themselves and their husbands or sons from radical elf women and their crazy man killing ways.

after a while any elf you travel with will get pissed. . . male or female. . . and any elf you meet will get pissed. . . and elves will in general hate you and any time they take action you can shout "See! they're at it again! Man killers!"

[Marnath]

Call them female. . . no matter what. . . . even after much correction. in fact . .insist that elves are the only girls youll hit becaues they obviously killed off all their men so really its defense of the male race to beat up on elves. . . cause they're men killers and out to destroy other races men by pretending somtimes to be men just to ruin the good name of man.

you can even try to apeal to non elf women by telling them to protect themselves and their husbands or sons from radical elf women and their crazy man killing ways.

after a while any elf you travel with will get pissed. . . male or female. . . and any elf you meet will get pissed. . . and elves will in general hate you and any time they take action you can shout "See! they're at it again! Man killers!"

I'm not seeing how that should make them upset so much as annoyed by your lack of originality. Being a woman is not an insult in all but the most backwards society. Sometimes you read about dwarves and humans that are still sexist like that, but i have never heard of elves that didn't believe in gender equality. And to the person who suggested to hit on male elves as a male, not everyone is homophobic.... indeed, i read somewhere that most elves are Bisexual. (ok it was in the BoEF, so idk that that really means anything. But still..) Hard as you may find it to believe there are plenty of people that would just turn you down and then not think of it anymore. "Sorry dude, i don't swing that way. Hurry up, we have to be across the border before sun-up."

[Fable Wright]

Haha no one would ever see the elf again...


What are you talking about? You're a necromancer for Drow's sake. Send the zombified elf to go humiliate itself for your entertainment.:smallwink: In the way appropriate for the forums. Not the other way others might incorrectly interpret it...

About your cover: Just hide the body underground, and then after you all leave, send it over to some random elf camp and have it humiliate itself. :smalltongue:

[Machiavellian]

Well, I have a disdain for normal elves (Grey and Drow are okay in my book. Szarkai [albino drow] are iffy)

I once had this happen as a drow in an elf city. (Word to the wise: BAD idea....)

"So this is the capitol city of my ignorant cousins? Wow, I expected no less of a people who's god is as weak as a blade of grass and as stubborn as a grimlock, and all elves are about as smart as one. I am surprised that these sad, pathetic people can even read, let alone use magic, albeit with the understanding of a child. Too flashy, weak, and overall pathetic. Their spells reflect themselves: Weak, Arrogant, and overall unable to be on the same league as my spells. Hell, even the worst of the Orc make better casters than the pinnacle of the elves. And their weapons here on the surface are dreadfully soft. How weak..."

about 5 seconds later, "Off to the dungeon with ye!"

Lucky for me, a Szarkai Cleric of Lolth (pretending to worship Corellon) paid for my release

[Beelzebub1111]

"Hab Sosli Quch!"

Wait...now that's klingon...nevermind.

[Fhaolan]

With a lot of insults it's not the words, but the attitude.

As per Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet:

"Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?"

"No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir."

Which eventually leads to a fight.

So knawing on your own extremities is considered insulting to onlookers... I wouldn't have thought so, but there you go. It's all in the presentation.

[Marnath]

What's it mean? I am always amazed that klingon is actually a fully developed language that people are fluent in. :smalleek:

[Moff Chumley]

Pointy-eared bastards


"Pointy-eared, bow-using nerf herder!"

Can't go wrong with the classics.

Also, is it just me, or some of the Elf-hate in this thread a little more than skin-deep? (The irony of using that phrase to talk about racism...)

[Safety Sword]

Can't go wrong with the classics.

Also, is it just me, or some of the Elf-hate in this thread a little more than skin-deep? (The irony of using that phrase to talk about racism...)

Our hatred matches the length of their ears.

[Cespenar]

Our hatred matches the length of their ears.

About four inches, then? :smalltongue:

[Origomar]

Call them a towel.

"Your a towel!"

Edit: to remain kind of on topic i love the dragon age origins commend made by one of the characters if you ask about his race.
(for those who dont know in dragon age elves are either nomads that wander forests trying to survive or in the capital city struggling to survive economically)


Warden: "Tell me about the qunari."
Sten: "No."
Warden: "Well, that wasn't what I expected to hear."
Sten: "Get used to disappointment. People are not simple. They cannot be defined for easy reference in the manner of: 'the elves are a lithe, pointy-eared people who excel at poverty.'"

[Aran Banks]

Call them gnomes.

[Fenrazer]

You might could reference a Shadowrun slang sight. They have some very interesting derogatory terms toward all of the metahuman races that you may put to great use.

[Lord Raziere]

for elves:
"hey leafears."
*point at elf* "Hey look a tall goblin!"
"hi pink drow"
"all show no substance"
"long ears long names, long bodies.....you guys compensating for something?"

[Beelzebub1111]

What's it mean? I am always amazed that klingon is actually a fully developed language that people are fluent in. :smalleek:
It means "Your mother has a Smooth Forehead" or directly translated, "The forehead is Smooth on Your Mother"

[Ravens_cry]

There is no greater insult to elves then this. (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/04/04/episode-681-of-civilizations/)

[Zen Monkey]

tree-hugging pixie-lickers

Or a dwarf joke:
How many elves does it take to make a proper wall?
-It depends on how thin you slice them.

or take the aggrivating approach and just address all of the males as "ma'am"

[Telonius]

"An elf, eh? One egg short of a dozen."
(Works best if you know German).

[Traveler]

I only know one good one, and it's a dwarf joke.

What do you call 500 elves at the bottom of the harbor?
A good start.

So a way to role play that is whenever you are informed of an attack on elves or X elves were killed, you can nod your head in approval and use the punchline above.

[PretzelKing]

not an elf insult but-

in a recent DnD session my dwarfy rogue called a retreating orc a "coward!" to which our DM replied "the orcish word for 'coward' is dwarf!"

doh!

[Cyrion]

Not racially specific, but will offend their sense of the aesthetic (and a real Elizabethan insult to boot): Thou art a murderer and a thief. Thou hast killed a baboon and stolen its face!

[RandomLunatic]

With a lot of insults it's not the words, but the attitude.

As per Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet:

"Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?"

"No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir."

Which eventually leads to a fight.

So knawing on your own extremities is considered insulting to onlookers... I wouldn't have thought so, but there you go. It's all in the presentation."Biting your thumb" is a specific gesture that was the Shakespearean equivalent of flipping somebody the bird.

And now you know.

[Fitz10019]

I think 'surface drow' has a smooth delivery.

[Dizlag]

Pixie-Spawn
Brownie-Bait
Dainty Axe-Dropping Osquip (a dwarven insult I've used on a fellow character =)
Moss-Mouth
Withering Stick-Armed Leaf-Eater

And my personal favorite:

Bloated Milk-Drinking Beard-Tick

That's about all I've got for now ... :smallbiggrin:

Dizlag

[ShadowsGrnEyes]

I'm not seeing how that should make them upset so much as annoyed by your lack of originality. Being a woman is not an insult in all but the most backwards society. Sometimes you read about dwarves and humans that are still sexist like that, but i have never heard of elves that didn't believe in gender equality. And to the person who suggested to hit on male elves as a male, not everyone is homophobic.... indeed, i read somewhere that most elves are Bisexual. (ok it was in the BoEF, so idk that that really means anything. But still..) Hard as you may find it to believe there are plenty of people that would just turn you down and then not think of it anymore. "Sorry dude, i don't swing that way. Hurry up, we have to be across the border before sun-up."

Thats kind of the point. The guy hates elves. Why would he care that elves belive in gender equality. We're talking abbout a guy with an irrational bigotry. If you think about it, almost all derogatory terms are either the miscpnceptions of the ignorant or facts said in such a way as to become an insult.
If a person is a avid naturalist and "loves nature" then it doesn't take much creativity for someone trying to degrade them to come up with Tree-Hugger. they dont actually hug trees(usually), but calling them a tree hugger is still an insultbecause of the intention behind the words. likewise the elf may be male or female, but calling them a girl is still an insult because it's' intended as one.

and as far as being a girl only being an insult in the most backwards society. . . I completely agree, but even the most gender comfortable guy in america will be insulted if you call him a girl, not because it IS an insult but because it's meant as one.

[Machiavellian]

Of course, I could give some classic drow ones:

Darkness Take You! (Common Drow insult to non-drow)


and a classic Orc one:

How many elves does it take to win a war?
Can't tell. Once the arrows fly, they all scatter.

[Toric]

"Pointy-eared, bow-using nerf herder!"

....Who's bow-using? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f6Xc3PsOkc)

[Skeppio]

I'd imagine that anything short of blind praise would offend an Elf.

Anyhoo, remind them that Gruumsh kicked their pansy-boy god's ass in a fight and that Correlon only won by a fluke shot/Deus Ex Machina.

[Marnath]

I only know one good one, and it's a dwarf joke.

What do you call 500 elves at the bottom of the harbor?
A good start.


I lol'ed at this one :smallsmile:

*edit +1 to the "anything but blind praise would insult them" thing. Elves are arrogant >.>

[Raging Gene Ray]

Fairy ****ers come to mind.

:vaarsuvius: That reminds me, tell your father I had a lovely time last night!

In all seriousness, I don't think you could do much worse than calling them elves.

[CockroachTeaParty]

Shadowrun has the best elf insult:

Keeblers.

Might not fit a fantasy setting.

Also, one of my personal favorites:

"I may be a half-orc, but I'm more of a man than you."

[Skeppio]

"I may be a half-orc, but I'm more of a man than you."

Someone cast Protection From Energy, 'cause I see some epic burn!

[Bhu]

"I'd call you a pedophile, but being that you're an Elf that's already a given."