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View Full Version : The worst character idea a player has ever shown you



FMArthur
2010-08-05, 05:23 PM
I just had a conversation with one of my players who wanted to build a fighter TWFing with two large wands using Monkey Grip and Double Wand Wielder, and the Wandstrike feat to attack people. He then asked me if I was all right because apparently my eyes went out of focus and I had to grab onto a railing on the walkway. I have never heard a dumber idea for a character in my life - and this guy was completely serious (he's known for being very... strange).

So hit me, GitP, what's the worst character idea you've ever had pitched your way by a real player?

Satyr
2010-08-05, 05:40 PM
I have quite a collection, mostly from playing with people who try to cultivate a horrible taste from time to time. I have two I have in particular "fond" memory. The lamest character, and the one that creeped me out.

Sub-Zero. In a Shadowrun game. Yes, literally the character from Mortal combat, written up as a Ki Adept.

Dr. Mary. A surgeon in a post-apocalyptic setting and a self-made transsexual. Yes, he cut of his own genitalia and refered to himself as Mary d; and because self-mutilating doctors are not scary enough, he was also a sadist and sung (the player sung as well, and he really could; making it much more unconfortable when you're hearing Goodbye Horses or Helena). The character wasn't bad per se, but had certain issues.

Starfols
2010-08-05, 05:48 PM
A dwarf monk with:

15 str
12 dex
18 con
8 int
12 wis
16 cha

and his feat was dodge.

SuperCracker
2010-08-05, 05:49 PM
In a nWoD Vampire game: "I want to be a blind blacksmith.... vampire."

First problem: BLIND BLACKSMITH. Working with heated metal, fire, and hammers... and you can't see what you're doing.

Second problem: Vampire: working next to fire.... constantly.

In a 3.0 D&D Game: "I want to play a troll." This was in a party that (for in game reasons) HATED trolls. Yes, the party killed him (finished off with the sorcerer's fireball).

FMArthur
2010-08-05, 05:51 PM
I have quite a collection, mostly from playing with people who try to cultivate a horrible taste from time to time. I have two I have in particular "fond" memory. The lamest character, and the one that creeped me out.

Sub-Zero. In a Shadowrun game. Yes, literally the character from Mortal combat, written up as a Ki Adept.

Dr. Mary. A surgeon in a post-apocalyptic setting and a self-made transsexual. Yes, he cut of his own genitalia and refered to himself as Mary d; and because self-mutilating doctors are not scary enough, he was also a sadist and sung (the player sung as well, and he really could; making it much more unconfortable when you're hearing Goodbye Horses or Helena). The character wasn't bad per se, but had certain issues.

That is quite unsettling. And a little too open to psychoanalysis... :smalleek:

Fortunately the only players I've had who made roleplaying SERIOUS BUSINESS were very good at making characters that fit the play environment and were quite creative.

WarKitty
2010-08-05, 05:54 PM
I have quite a collection, mostly from playing with people who try to cultivate a horrible taste from time to time. I have two I have in particular "fond" memory. The lamest character, and the one that creeped me out.

Sub-Zero. In a Shadowrun game. Yes, literally the character from Mortal combat, written up as a Ki Adept.

Dr. Mary. A surgeon in a post-apocalyptic setting and a self-made transsexual. Yes, he cut of his own genitalia and refered to himself as Mary d; and because self-mutilating doctors are not scary enough, he was also a sadist and sung (the player sung as well, and he really could; making it much more unconfortable when you're hearing Goodbye Horses or Helena). The character wasn't bad per se, but had certain issues.

Now I want to roll up a good transsexual character just because I can.

Moriato
2010-08-05, 05:56 PM
a fighter TWFing with two large wands using Monkey Grip and Double Wand Wielder, and the Wandstrike feat to attack people.

Ok... I have to ask. What does he expect an oversized wand to do exactly?

If he expects 5d10 fireballs, I agree that's pretty dumb, but if he just wants to beat people to death with HUEG MAGIC WANDS, I find that actually kind of awesome.

Assuming your campaign isn't a very serious one, of course.

Yukitsu
2010-08-05, 05:58 PM
I once proposed an old, crippled man with the ancient age category, a strength of 2 etc, fighting from a wheelchair who wasn't a psion. In fact, he fought with a whip dagger.

I was using all of the crazy abilities that let him apply mental stats to damage and add to his to hit, so it was actually a theoretically sound build, but I haven't had the chance to actually play him yet.

Xallace
2010-08-05, 05:59 PM
I don't think my groups have ever had stupid character concepts; In-game actions tend to be the kicker.

Although there was one guy who waited until the first session was in progress to mention that he wanted his father to be the king of some layer of Hell and that his warlock powers stemmed from three balors soulbound to a ruby imbedded in his hand.

That he also wanted to combine Monkey Grip and Weapon Finesse to somehow finesse a bastard sword didn't help him in my eyes, either.

But the thing is that most "terrible characters" in our parties fall into the "so bad it's good" category. Like Fabio the Destroyer, who voluntarily lowered the armor bonus on his Full Plate so it would show off his chest hair and spent the first round of every combat grooming.

Biffoniacus_Furiou
2010-08-05, 05:59 PM
A guy who used to play with us a few years ago would actually play builds like Half-Celestial LA +4/ Monk 1/ Sorcerer 4/ Cleric 3/ Mystic Theurge. Another character of his (Half-Celestial Cleric, no surprise) used a dire flail, nonproficient. His Dex was only 13 but he planned on increasing it at 4th and 8th level to take TWF at 9th, but he was already full attacking with both ends of it taking the full penalties. He was thoroughly convinced that the characters he made were Billy Badass, he must have been delusional.

Machiavellian
2010-08-05, 06:03 PM
Does the phrase "Gnome Werebear Ninja" scream "huh??!!"

or perhaps our infamous Paladin of Ale (He was a Dwarf Paladin who worshiped Ale, as in the drink). How the DM allowed that crap, I will never know.

FMArthur
2010-08-05, 06:11 PM
Ok... I have to ask. What does he expect an oversized wand to do exactly?

If he expects 5d10 fireballs, I agree that's pretty dumb, but if he just wants to beat people to death with HUEG MAGIC WANDS, I find that actually kind of awesome.

Assuming your campaign isn't a very serious one, of course.

Extra Wandstrike damage. If it were real weapon damage, and wands came in larger sizes, and Wandstrike weren't a standard action, he'd bump a 1d6 up to a 1d8 which "adds up when you get a lot of attacks". Despite Double Wand Wielder cappign at two.

AslanCross
2010-08-05, 06:13 PM
It wasn't a really bad build per se, and I wasn't the DM then, but one of my players was playing a changeling rogue.

That part was okay.

He was constantly whining about his build and saying how it sucked. We told him to go play a caster since the party needed one, but he whined and said he was tired of playing casters. He didn't know whether to go melee or ranged, and his own build confused him.

That was acceptable, albeit annoying.

That his "default form" had fox ears and he was trying to look CUTE was very unsettling.

The DM dealt with him by introducing a Daelkyr halfblood NPC whom our sponsor had under his care. She was 6 years old and had 18 strength---as much as my 300-pound warforged.

She would often manhandle the changeling because he was "cute."

Popertop
2010-08-05, 06:17 PM
see that's an easy one, just set the game during Prohibition and you're good to go. :smallcool:

A druid that uses wildshape combat, but doesn't take any feats for it.
And tries to wildshape into a dragon, even though it's an epic feat.
And goes straight for the antimagic field even though we had a five
minute conversation about where the antimagic field was right before.

My own personal worst was when I tried to combine flurry and TWF.
yep, a monk build. really not that bad, mainly just bad because you have to take monk levels. (if you want to debate the rules on TWF and Flurrying, the rules seem to suggest you can't, but they never actually state anything on the matter, if you would like to clear this up with me or debate it, please PM me)

anyhow, my idea was that a monk somehow teams up with a rogue,
and the rogue uses poisons, and he shows the monk how.
since monks are immune to poison, he just pours it on his fists, takes Versatile Unarmed Strike, and goes to town.
They would have to make a lot of saves (if he actually hit them at all X()

ScionoftheVoid
2010-08-05, 06:18 PM
A robot dinosaur with lasers and an afro. Made of francium. EDIT: The whole creature, made of a material that is highly explosive when in contact with water. I wouldn't have allowed that component simply because the character would not have survived until the start of gameplay. I would have allowed the rest (Warforged Warlock//Something, ignoring the "dinosaur" bit mechanically 'cause it shouldn't really have an effect) however.

The same game was also going to include a meercat in a smoking jacket (this was the whole concept, species and garment). Until the rest of the group chose more reasonable concepts and those two ideas got scrapped. They're now going to have a ninja were-cat and a Paladin of Tyranny//Rogue, respectively.

Makiru
2010-08-05, 06:26 PM
Dumbest character in any game I've run is, hands-down, the Blind N****r Samurai (yes, from Boondocks), who was still surprisingly effective despite mechanical blindness. Yes, I think that was dumber than the dwarven twins, one of which is the Samurai player, who think they're Daleks in my current game. I'm pretty sure it was just an excuse to scream obscenities all the time, but whatever.

As for myself, I haven't really used any truly dumb builds until the current D20 Future game, which started as TWF wielding chainsaws and has progressed to quad-wielding chainsaws. Most anything else I've played was just dumb in a "You're doing WHAT?" sense, but still mechanically sound.

Mystic Muse
2010-08-05, 06:29 PM
see that's an easy one, just set the game during Prohibition and you're good to go. :smallcool:

A druid that uses wildshape combat, but doesn't take any feats for it.
And tries to wildshape into a dragon, even though it's an epic feat.

Actually, there's a feat in Draconomicon and I think you can use Master of many forms to turn into a dragon. Both pre-epic. I think the Draconomicon one only allows medium dragons though.

drengnikrafe
2010-08-05, 06:33 PM
I had a player who decided he wanted to play a dog. What's more, this dog was going to be a monk. And the only character he could talk to was the party Paladin, who didn't even like him. It wasn't even an awakened dog, or something like that. Just a dog.
I have no other words for this.

Satyr
2010-08-05, 06:34 PM
That is quite unsettling. And a little too open to psychoanalysis...


I wouldn't start with that. Not everybody creates characters as a form of of wish fulfilling alter ego, and I am quite ure that the player in question just tried to be scary for the sake of it.


Now I want to roll up a good transsexual character just because I can.

Just for the record, a transsexual character in itself would be awesome if it is well made. A part why I really didn't like the character was that the player tried to use it as a shoking or suppsedly scary motive; even though it worked well in the context in creating such a motive, but mostly through the how.

oxybe
2010-08-05, 06:50 PM
thanks to the PC antics we had yesterday, whereas one player tried to bean another with a thick book, it reminded me of this picture:

http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/bible-fight.jpg

and thus the idea of bible fighter for our PF game as a backup character came about.

fighter/rogue, armed with the word of god.

aivanther
2010-08-05, 07:18 PM
I built a samurai. I didn't do much with intimidate. Do I need to say anything else?

GoodbyeSoberDay
2010-08-05, 07:21 PM
For me the worst character ideas are the ones that will ultimately lead to party splitting or PvP. Like the guy who wanted to roll a detect-and-smite stick in the mud paladin... in a neutral-to-evil party.

IdleMuse
2010-08-05, 07:25 PM
One of my friends has a player in his game who's a human were-dwarf. Not particularly bad, tbh, just slightly odd.

Tyndmyr
2010-08-05, 07:28 PM
I just had a conversation with one of my players who wanted to build a fighter TWFing with two large wands using Monkey Grip and Double Wand Wielder, and the Wandstrike feat to attack people. He then asked me if I was all right because apparently my eyes went out of focus and I had to grab onto a railing on the walkway. I have never heard a dumber idea for a character in my life - and this guy was completely serious (he's known for being very... strange).

So hit me, GitP, what's the worst character idea you've ever had pitched your way by a real player?

That's....while suboptimal, a hilarious build, and can only be improved by putting wand sockets in your wands.

Aroka
2010-08-05, 07:29 PM
One player created, for Cyberpunk 2020, both a giant Nigerian man wielding two chainsaws, and an orthodox/hassidic jew explosives expert. Gnnnnn. He actually played both, too. I believe it was his "subtle" protest against a system, genre, and setting he didn't particularly enjoy.

TooManyBadgers
2010-08-05, 07:33 PM
I had a player who decided he wanted to play a dog. What's more, this dog was going to be a monk. And the only character he could talk to was the party Paladin, who didn't even like him. It wasn't even an awakened dog, or something like that. Just a dog.
I have no other words for this.
*scratches down ideas for a backup character in his ongoing campaign.*

Machiavellian
2010-08-05, 07:39 PM
*scratches down ideas for a backup character in his ongoing campaign.*

The dog idea reminds me of Dog from Dragon Age Origins...

BTW, what's the LA for playing an Awakened Animal?

Captain Six
2010-08-05, 07:44 PM
The dog idea reminds me of Dog from Dragon Age Origins...

BTW, what's the LA for playing an Awakened Animal?

Probably none, animals don't actually have the greatest racial traits.

drengnikrafe
2010-08-05, 07:48 PM
The dog idea reminds me of Dog from Dragon Age Origins...

BTW, what's the LA for playing an Awakened Animal?

I think he wanted to play the character after Dragon Age had been announced, but before it came out. He is easily influenced by media, so I don't know.

Also, I don't know. In order to do what I could, I assumed he gained racial bonuses upon the assumption that stats used to be 11, 11, 11, 10, 10, 10 and were changed entirely based on being a dog. Then I made him take two levels in dog.

Yay homebrew on the fly.

KillianHawkeye
2010-08-05, 07:48 PM
The dog idea reminds me of Dog from Dragon Age Origins...

BTW, what's the LA for playing an Awakened Animal?

Probably none, animals don't actually have the greatest racial traits.

The awaken spell is silent on the issue of Level Adjustment. Ask your DM.

Machiavellian
2010-08-05, 07:49 PM
Probably none, animals don't actually have the greatest racial traits.

Well, I need a way to run that by my DM. I want to, if my Drow Wizard/Malconvoker dies, to play an Awakened Tabby Wizard (it's adorable, yet lethal)

Tyndmyr
2010-08-05, 07:52 PM
Well, your probably tiny, so you don't threaten neighboring squares any more. No special abilities from being a housecat(unless you allow always landing on your feet, purely for the entertainment value). Communication will be a problem, as will be finding items that fit you without modification. Carrying capacity is pretty much nil.

It's not gonna give you great stats. I see nothing but downsides when compared to say, human. If anything, it should be a negative LA.

Mystic Muse
2010-08-05, 07:53 PM
Well, I need a way to run that by my DM. I want to, if my Drow Wizard/Malconvoker dies, to play an Awakened Tabby Wizard (it's adorable, yet lethal)

Why not a tibbit? I hear they're in the dragon magazine compendium.

Machiavellian
2010-08-05, 08:04 PM
Why not a tibbit? I hear they're in the dragon magazine compendium.

Tried. DM won't allow it.

Hence the Awakened Housecat. Besides, our DM allows some PrCs to have higher casting (mindbender is on the list) and what is scarier than a Housecat Mindbender with a cool "hired muscle"

Eurus
2010-08-05, 08:11 PM
Tried. DM won't allow it.

Hence the Awakened Housecat. Besides, our DM allows some PrCs to have higher casting (mindbender is on the list) and what is scarier than a Housecat Mindbender with a cool "hired muscle"

...Who everybody thinks is an enchanter or psion that also kills things with swords, because really, who expects the cat to be casting spells? :smallbiggrin:

Machiavellian
2010-08-05, 08:22 PM
...Who everybody thinks is an enchanter or psion that also kills things with swords, because really, who expects the cat to be casting spells? :smallbiggrin:

I was actually gonna make the muscle either a Vasahar Ex-Cleric of Asmodeus (changed faith forcebly to Heironious), a Mind Flayer Arch Psion, or a Drow Conjurer/Malconvoker

Urpriest
2010-08-05, 08:24 PM
I was actually gonna make the muscle either a Vasahar Ex-Cleric of Asmodeus (changed faith forcebly to Heironious), a Mind Flayer Arch Psion, or a Drow Conjurer/Malconvoker

This seems...familiar...

Machiavellian
2010-08-05, 08:28 PM
This seems...familiar...

My backup character has the ability to, as a mindbender, to "coax" people to do what he wants.

LoneStarNorth
2010-08-05, 08:44 PM
I had a player who decided he wanted to play a dog. What's more, this dog was going to be a monk. And the only character he could talk to was the party Paladin, who didn't even like him. It wasn't even an awakened dog, or something like that. Just a dog.
I have no other words for this.

Had to stop reading the entire thread to address this. There is a dog monk in my party right now. And she's actually pretty effective most of the time. Once when the entire party went berserk all at once and the bad guy who caused it ran away, she managed to kill them all. In five rounds.

Basically what I'm saying is that dog monks are awesome and should always be allowed.

ArcanistSupreme
2010-08-05, 08:55 PM
I had a player once propose a TWF Monkey Grip fighter that dual wielded two full blades (one large and the other huge, both with the balanced property or whatever it is that makes the weapon count as one size-category smaller). Provided that he could cram all of the feats in (which was doable, as he was going straight fighter :smallyuk:), he would be just under his maximum weight limit with just the swords. Which would mean no other gear.

Granted, he might have picked up a belt of giant strength at some point, but he was trying to get the whole "dual-wielding giant swords" shtick online as fast as possible, and likely would have passed one up in favor of making getting his two ridiculous swords.

I'm glad that campaign died before he realized how sucky that character would have been.

awa
2010-08-05, 08:59 PM
while it depends on the level of optimization and the animal i would generally say the racial hit dice from the awaken spell is penalty enough.

but personally i think a cat full caster would be better than a human assuming wizard and no racial hit dice here why. you take penalties to melee because of low strength and small size but your a wizard you can easily build your self away from touch attacks. smaller size gives bonuses to hit and ac. high dex is nice for ac. you get a number of nice skill bonuses and scent (plus no one expects the cat to be dangerous). that's worth a feat and a skill point in my book. Lack of hands is a bit of a problem but just take improved familiar and get a companion with hands problem solved.

arrowhen
2010-08-05, 09:06 PM
or perhaps our infamous Paladin of Ale (He was a Dwarf Paladin who worshiped Ale, as in the drink). How the DM allowed that crap, I will never know.

I would totally allow that character in my game, with the stipulation that the player was required to bring a 12 pack of beer (Reinheitsgebot (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot) compliant, of course) to every session.

Machiavellian
2010-08-05, 09:08 PM
while it depends on the level of optimization and the animal i would generally say the racial hit dice from the awaken spell is penalty enough.

but personally i think a cat full caster would be better than a human assuming wizard and no racial hit dice here why. you take penalties to melee because of low strength and small size but your a wizard you can easily build your self away from touch attacks. smaller size gives bonuses to hit and ac. high dex is nice for ac. you get a number of nice skill bonuses and scent (plus no one expects the cat to be dangerous). that's worth a feat and a skill point in my book. Lack of hands is a bit of a problem but just take improved familiar and get a companion with hands problem solved.

Okay. Considering that the party will have a full fledged demon/vampire, along with a mostly vampire party, optimizing is moderate to high.

1. wouldn't a housecat (depending on how its fed) be tiny?
2. so a housecat would have maybe a +10 dex -10 str -2 con +2 int?
3. Couldn't I carry a wand in my teeth?
4. The companion issue is solved by Mindbender

devinkowalczyk
2010-08-05, 09:15 PM
monty hall game:
a 3 headed half red dragon minotaur
that is all I can remember
I think there was some lycanthropy or subtypes added in.
actually, not i really want to play this character, but alas, nothing like that in 4e

reptilecobra13
2010-08-05, 09:28 PM
One player I know comes up with terrible builds on a regular basis. One of these was a Thri-Kreen monk who didn't speak Common. Good luck interacting with any NPCs and not getting attacked by city guards when you're a giant bug. Another of his characters is an awakened wolf with a little girl for a cohort. This wouldn't be too bad if he didn't insist on playing them as Zaraki and Yachiru from Bleach, and if he didn't try to incorporate this same wolf in EVERY rpg system he tried to play. Again, the role-playing aspects of a giant wolf are very similar to the thri-kreen issue, but at least the wolf spoke common.

Another player, even more irritating than the first, decided to play a duskblade for his first 3.5 character. As he was barely capable of comprehending the rules for melee (let alone casting AND melee), it wasn't a very good fit. His turns usually took 15 minutes as he refused any assistance from the more experienced players or the DM. Eventually, the Lawful Good duskblade decided that it would be cool if he could have a worg for a mount. As in the inherently evil wolf-thingy. Yeah...The DM decided to allow it just to watch him miserably fail his handle animal checks and ruin his heroic reputation when the creature he attempted to train would break free and attack villagers. :smallbiggrin:

Krazddndfreek
2010-08-05, 09:28 PM
Okay. Considering that the party will have a full fledged demon/vampire, along with a mostly vampire party, optimizing is moderate to high.

1. wouldn't a housecat (depending on how its fed) be tiny?
2. so a housecat would have maybe a +10 dex -10 str -2 con +2 int?
3. Couldn't I carry a wand in my teeth?
4. The companion issue is solved by Mindbender

Err... vampire? LA +8 isn't exactly optimized, if you must know.

RS14
2010-08-05, 09:30 PM
Mechanically, the worst would have to be a TWF Soulknife.

(To that player, should you read this, please don't take offense).

Stompy
2010-08-05, 09:35 PM
Pixie Rogue/Dread Necromancer that was going to go Necropolitan as well.

I'm glad that game crashed as well.

Tengu_temp
2010-08-05, 09:37 PM
Does Neverwinter Nights count? Technically I wasn't the one running the whole thing, but I was a DM on one RP server, and I've seen my share of terrible, terrible characters.

Actually, let's not go there. Bad memories resurfacing...

BillyJimBoBob
2010-08-05, 09:50 PM
I once was invited to join a game that had been in progress for about two adventures. At the time I was quite busy at the office, wasn't terribly interested in the game for itself, and my primary motivation for joining was to be able to see my buddies every other week since the aforementioned work demands were eating into that time.

I was informed of the party class makeup. They needed melee, in my opinion. I proposed bringing in a mute Ranger. This, I felt, would allow me to:
Fill a needed niche for melee combat;
Lend other useful skills such as Tracking (AD&D game);
Keep me from being any kind of party "face" with the NPCs;
Keep me from needing any kind of fair slice of "spotlight" time, since I simply wanted to be there to support the party without requiring much (or none) GM planning around my backstory, etc;
Add some interesting and (in my mind, at least) non-disruptive communications humor to my character, as a mute needing to deal with other characters who probably did not know ASL or the fantasy equivalent.

The GM flipped the F out. Absolutely refused to consider this character concept. Never managed to explain why, other than a high handed "My campaign, my rules" response. And then we had a conversation that went like this:
ME: Ok. So, I'll be a Magic-User.
GM: You can't. There is one already, and I want people to feel unique.

Repeat this for about 4 other character suggestions from me, which were along the lines of "Um, Dwarf Priest?", "Nope", "Halfling Rogue?", "Nope", etc, and I finally said "Hey, my options seem rather limited, and I'm tired of guessing, so why don't you tell me what my options are?" Turns out that a Human Dragon magazine Priest/Monk hybrid class whose exact name I do not recall or one other race/class option I also do not recall (no non-Human was going to be allowed to me, although there was another character who was non-human. Again, that players race selection option in a game session before I joined was limiting my choices due to the "uniqueness" factor) was it. I chose the Human Priest/Monk.

After about 5 adventures was stealth uninvited to not come back, simply dropped from the emails noting the next game date, because I was apparently a disruptive player. Another player dropped out in protest. I was invited back, after a long chat with the GM in which he cried (I am not making this up). I had been stealth uninvited the first time, and as we were long time friends I explained that this was rather disturbing to me, that he would both decide to uninvite me and also decide to not come to me to discuss any issues he had with me beforehand. He agreed that his behavior was not along the lines of what a friend should be able to expect, that he hated confrontation and had chosen the cowards way out, and that he would keep the lines of communications open. And then he stealth uninvited me again, after an in-character set of emails concerning loot division apparently offended his sensibilities, although no other player had any issue with the discussion and they were simply responding in character. Turns out the whole conflict was brought about because the GM had issued loot during a session I had missed, and had failed to notify me that my share had been reserved for me and that I wasn't actually being screwed over by the party. The GM was doing the loot division... And the GM had dropped the ball by failing to properly inform me, and this had led to some sharp words in character being exchanged. Which then led to my second expulsion.

Whatever. I should have been allowed to play the supporting, non-spotlight character, and all would have been good. In that role I would have been quite happy to ignore any issue of loot division, and just be in essence a PC run NPC. But the GM has some grandiose concept that he'll write a book based upon this campaign (I might add that he diligently fails to produce anything he is willing to share each and every year during some kind of authors month that he informs us all about), and I guess a mute Ranger just didn't fit into his concept of a character he could write about... Epic fail, as I see it. Such a character is either rich with potential, or is a handy plug in to a story as a character who needs little spotlight and simply serves as a sidekick. The quintessential Kato, Alfred, or any other sidekick or minor character. There is no rule that Alfred the Butler has to be Batman's doormat, after all. Even as a person with no authorial aspirations, I can see many ways to write about such a character.

So, a mute Ranger is probably the worst character concept I have ever come up with, if the end result is factored in.

Urpriest
2010-08-05, 09:57 PM
Player: I want to play a Dragon Shaman!

DM: In this setting, Dragons are utterly unknown to your characters. There aren't even any myths about them, the concept simply doesn't exist.

Player: Soo...can I play a Dragon Shaman?

For the record, the existence of Dragons was a secret the players ended up uncovering, so starting as a Dragon Shaman would have been even more awkward.

Grynning
2010-08-05, 10:09 PM
Of course, you can just drop the "Dragon" part of the dragon shaman and re-fluff it a bit and it's a perfectly usable class.

The only character I've ever got totally shut down for wanting to play was an awakened parrot sorcerer. In a pirate game.

Guess it's good that I got shut down since I ended up the captain of the ship with my rogue, but still...

Mojo_Rat
2010-08-05, 10:23 PM
back when we were kids (like 15-16) one of my friends was in a particularlt odd mood and inisted he was going to play a human worshiper of blopdoolpoop.. or however it is spelt. the Dm Said no.. so he made a human wizard named Lobsterman the insane.. then prodeeded to roll the most powerful psionicist possible for a ad&d game. The char lasted til he crushed the brain of the boss monster for the adventure in one round.. cant remember the power but its mind just disolved.

then the dm banned psyionics for 10 years :P

Starscream
2010-08-05, 10:30 PM
That would be my character Hank/Don.

First some background. Hank and Don Hall are two comic book superheroes known as Hawk and Dove. Hawk is violent and aggressive, Dove is a peaceful pacifist. Needless to say, they bicker constantly. As crime fighters go, they rank somewhere between the Venture Bros. and Laurel and Hardy.:smallbiggrin:

It was a gestalt game, and not one that was being taken very seriously. So I decided to turn Hawk & Dove into a single character. I took the Multiheaded Template (+2 LA for one extra head), and since it was gestalt, I gave each head its own class. Hank was a Warblade, Don was a Healer.

Okay, you are thinking, not exactly optimized, but probably not unplayable either. Thing is, the two heads couldn't stand each other and always fought for control of the body. Each round of combat I'd roll to see who was in charge. If Hank won, he'd fight with reckless abandon. If Don won he'd try to stop the fight by any (non-violent) means necessary.

This was a terrible nuisance, but had some interesting results. Enemies found it rather intimidating that one head would be appealing for peace while the other snarled about the things it was going to do with their intestines. Not to mention how off-putting it is when your enemy positions himself between you and his allies to stop the fight one round, then runs screaming at you with an axe the other.

What got really fun was that even though the two heads had incredibly different tactics, they still all had access to the same powers. Hank could heal himself quite efficiently in combat, which made him hard to put down. And Don could whip out some rather startling martial moves when he needed to, although he'd always accept penalties for non-lethal damage, and be apologizing profusely the whole time. I think the DM gave up on trying to predict what Hank/Don was going to do entirely.

Like I said, not a serious game. If it had been, he/they would have gotten creamed.

Christopher K.
2010-08-05, 10:44 PM
My buddy Levi once wanted to make a fighter who had some unnaturally high Strength. (Don't ask me what; it was REALLY high, though) To balance it? He suggested that he could have a NEGATIVE score in Dexterity, and he'd have to make saving throws to successfully do basic actions like drink from a mug without shattering it, and even have difficulty reaching the mug to his face in the first place. Reminded me of Fairly OddParents at one point. "My muscles! They are too huge for me to remove my cat from my face!"

Amphetryon
2010-08-05, 10:52 PM
Gnome Fighter.

STR 8 DEX 9 CON 16 INT 12 WIS 16 CHA 14.

:smallyuk:

valadil
2010-08-05, 11:00 PM
I can't think of any bad ones a player has submitted to me, so here's the worst thing I've ever run.

I played a japanese fugu chef by the name of Gau Tso, who was also a superhero. To hide his identity he wore a luche mask that he used to wear when he was on the full contact Mexican Iron Chef, Cocinero Hierro: Sabado Grande Fantastico.

Here's Gao's full backstory.

Gao Tso was born in Shenzhao China in 1978. His parents had lived in the small fishing village all their lives, as had their parents before them. Once Gao learned that there was a world beyond the nets and sampans, he knew he could never stay in the small village and set off for Tokyo at the age of 14.

At that point, Gao knew only one trade - fishmongering. The Yakuza-controlled docks and harbors had no place for a small chinese boy. When it became clear that Gao's racial handicap prevented him from being allowed to sell fish, he left and followed one of the only customers who had paid him notice. The man led him to an american owned restaurant near the middle of the city. Gao slipped in the back and began performing menial tasks as though he worked there. Since Big Jim, the owner, thought all asians looked alike, he never noticed Gao's unconventional and abrupt employment. Within months Gao began helping with the actual preparation of food and was getting noticed for his talent. He even began studying the deadly art of fugu preparation.

Although he had a steady income in a major city, Gao Tso still was not happy. He loved his work, but wanted more recognition and glamor. One afternoon in late April, Big Jim invited Gao to his office to offer a promotion to the restaurant's head chef. The previous chef, Shinzaki Teriyaki, had taken a sabbatical to compete on a new reality based TV show. Gao had never heard of Iron Chef before, but he was intrigued. Jim told him it turned cooking into a spectator sport, wherein chefs are given a set of foods and challenged to improvise a meal on live TV, with fabulous cash prizes. Intrigued, Gao did not accept the promotion and Big Jim lost his two best chefs in one afternoon. The restaurant went under and Big Jim hanged himself after spending what little money remained on a taiwanese 'ladyboy' prostitute binge.

What Gao Tso had not realized when he left was that the show he was banking everything on was very Japan-centric. Several gaijin, often Americans, gain popularity on the show but only for their freakish appeal. Gao Tso was not japanese and could not appeal with the freak show that was your average american chef, so he did not go far in the world of competitive cooking. Having tasted Iron Chef, Gao Tso knew he could no longer palate an ordinary kitchen. With Iron Chef Japan all but closed to non japanese participants, Gau went with his next best option, Iron Chef America.

Tragically, in spite of his work for Americans, Gau Tso had failed to pick up enough English to successfully book a flight over the phone. His demand for "Iron-u Che-fu!" was misheard as "Chichen Itza, por favor" and he was promptly sent to Mexico. He has since corrected the error and now speaks fluent English, as well as passable Spanish, but for the time being Gau Tso was stuck in Mexico. Due to China's strict passport regulations, Gau could not just get on another plane to America. He had to either stay in Mexico or return home. He chose the former, but conceded that he would have to put his dreams on the back burner and go back to ordinary kitchen work.

Less than a year later Gao found himself working as a chef at a resort for fat, rich, white folks, and their greasy and whiny fat white kids, when he met the fattest, richest, whitest man who was also a little bit greasy. The man introduced himself as Barry and was absolutely delighted with the authenticate flavor of that afternoon's spicy flavor pork. Barry was a publicist/agent from Hollywood and Gau told Barry his story. Barry was fascinated. Now, Barry couldn't circumvent chinese travel restrictions to get Gau Tso onto Iron Chef America, but he did have connections with the TV and Movie industry, and put Gau in contact with the producer of Mexico's next big television hit, Cocinero Hierro: Sabado Grande Fantastico, or Iron Chef Mexico as it was known to its American viewers.

Gao Tso's dreams were coming true at last. CH: SGF was just like Iron Chef, well, mostly. None of the chefs had assistants. They had to gather ingredients and do the basic cooking themselves. And it was full contact. And all chefs wore Lucha masks. Stabbings were infrequent, but they did boost ratings. Gau avoided fights most of the time, preferring to sneak off with key ingredients while other chefs engaged in melee. Gao was successful on the show due to his exemplary cooking. He was nicknamed "El Gato," as a play on his own name and due to his fondness for fish, which was discovered during episode 319, when Gao Tso both invented and consumed the world's first fish taco.

Gao was happy on Cocinero Hierro: Sabado Grande Fantastico. He was settling in to his niche and was perfectly content to stay there and give up on Iron Chef America forever despite Barry's urging. His decision to stay was reinforced when, on season 6's live first episode it was announced that the key ingredient would be fugu. The other 5 chefs balked, including current Iron Chef, Paco "The Taco" Hernandez. None of them had been trained in cutting the poison-soaked liver from the deadly fish. This was Gau Tso's speciality. He prepared a delicious meal and was sure of victory. When it came time for judging, Gau Tso was the only chef to have prepared a full meal - without fugu the other chefs had to settle for appetizers. Paco glared at Tso and the other chefs stood slumped and defeated. Gao's fugu was served last. Everyone watching on wondered if they'd actually get to see a person die on live TV, but the thought that the fugu was botched never crossed Gao's mind. The judges bit simultaneously, chewed cautiously, and then dropped dead. All eyes shifted from the dead judges to a very confused Gao Tso. Hernandez cried out, "!Veneno! !Asesino! (poison, assassin)," and he drew a long fish knife.

It was not clear how Gao Tso escaped the wrath of five vengeful chefs and a large studio audience. He found himself miles away, covered in sweat and totally winded. His cell phone rang. It was Barry, "So how do you feel about coming to America now?"

Gao Tso fled across the border. Barry had somehow finagled a chinese passport allowing Gao into the country. What actually happened was that one of the other chefs (likely Paco) poisoned his own dish, knowing the fugu would take several minutes to take effect. Whether that investigation is in progress or it has resolved itself by game start is left up to the GM. All the controversy caused the Food Channel to drop Iron Chef, but it (and Gao Tso) were soon picked up by Fox, who thrives on controversy. Maybe they'll have Gao prepare fugu on Fear Factor or some such.

The Glyphstone
2010-08-05, 11:11 PM
I can't think of any bad ones a player has submitted to me, so here's the worst thing I've ever run.

I played a japanese fugu chef by the name of Gau Tso, who was also a superhero. To hide his identity he wore a luche mask that he used to wear when he was on the full contact Mexican Iron Chef, Cocinero Hierro: Sabado Grande Fantastico.

Here's Gao's full backstory.

Gao Tso was born in Shenzhao China in 1978. His parents had lived in the small fishing village all their lives, as had their parents before them. Once Gao learned that there was a world beyond the nets and sampans, he knew he could never stay in the small village and set off for Tokyo at the age of 14.

At that point, Gao knew only one trade - fishmongering. The Yakuza-controlled docks and harbors had no place for a small chinese boy. When it became clear that Gao's racial handicap prevented him from being allowed to sell fish, he left and followed one of the only customers who had paid him notice. The man led him to an american owned restaurant near the middle of the city. Gao slipped in the back and began performing menial tasks as though he worked there. Since Big Jim, the owner, thought all asians looked alike, he never noticed Gao's unconventional and abrupt employment. Within months Gao began helping with the actual preparation of food and was getting noticed for his talent. He even began studying the deadly art of fugu preparation.

Although he had a steady income in a major city, Gao Tso still was not happy. He loved his work, but wanted more recognition and glamor. One afternoon in late April, Big Jim invited Gao to his office to offer a promotion to the restaurant's head chef. The previous chef, Shinzaki Teriyaki, had taken a sabbatical to compete on a new reality based TV show. Gao had never heard of Iron Chef before, but he was intrigued. Jim told him it turned cooking into a spectator sport, wherein chefs are given a set of foods and challenged to improvise a meal on live TV, with fabulous cash prizes. Intrigued, Gao did not accept the promotion and Big Jim lost his two best chefs in one afternoon. The restaurant went under and Big Jim hanged himself after spending what little money remained on a taiwanese 'ladyboy' prostitute binge.

What Gao Tso had not realized when he left was that the show he was banking everything on was very Japan-centric. Several gaijin, often Americans, gain popularity on the show but only for their freakish appeal. Gao Tso was not japanese and could not appeal with the freak show that was your average american chef, so he did not go far in the world of competitive cooking. Having tasted Iron Chef, Gao Tso knew he could no longer palate an ordinary kitchen. With Iron Chef Japan all but closed to non japanese participants, Gau went with his next best option, Iron Chef America.

Tragically, in spite of his work for Americans, Gau Tso had failed to pick up enough English to successfully book a flight over the phone. His demand for "Iron-u Che-fu!" was misheard as "Chichen Itza, por favor" and he was promptly sent to Mexico. He has since corrected the error and now speaks fluent English, as well as passable Spanish, but for the time being Gau Tso was stuck in Mexico. Due to China's strict passport regulations, Gau could not just get on another plane to America. He had to either stay in Mexico or return home. He chose the former, but conceded that he would have to put his dreams on the back burner and go back to ordinary kitchen work.

Less than a year later Gao found himself working as a chef at a resort for fat, rich, white folks, and their greasy and whiny fat white kids, when he met the fattest, richest, whitest man who was also a little bit greasy. The man introduced himself as Barry and was absolutely delighted with the authenticate flavor of that afternoon's spicy flavor pork. Barry was a publicist/agent from Hollywood and Gau told Barry his story. Barry was fascinated. Now, Barry couldn't circumvent chinese travel restrictions to get Gau Tso onto Iron Chef America, but he did have connections with the TV and Movie industry, and put Gau in contact with the producer of Mexico's next big television hit, Cocinero Hierro: Sabado Grande Fantastico, or Iron Chef Mexico as it was known to its American viewers.

Gao Tso's dreams were coming true at last. CH: SGF was just like Iron Chef, well, mostly. None of the chefs had assistants. They had to gather ingredients and do the basic cooking themselves. And it was full contact. And all chefs wore Lucha masks. Stabbings were infrequent, but they did boost ratings. Gau avoided fights most of the time, preferring to sneak off with key ingredients while other chefs engaged in melee. Gao was successful on the show due to his exemplary cooking. He was nicknamed "El Gato," as a play on his own name and due to his fondness for fish, which was discovered during episode 319, when Gao Tso both invented and consumed the world's first fish taco.

Gao was happy on Cocinero Hierro: Sabado Grande Fantastico. He was settling in to his niche and was perfectly content to stay there and give up on Iron Chef America forever despite Barry's urging. His decision to stay was reinforced when, on season 6's live first episode it was announced that the key ingredient would be fugu. The other 5 chefs balked, including current Iron Chef, Paco "The Taco" Hernandez. None of them had been trained in cutting the poison-soaked liver from the deadly fish. This was Gau Tso's speciality. He prepared a delicious meal and was sure of victory. When it came time for judging, Gau Tso was the only chef to have prepared a full meal - without fugu the other chefs had to settle for appetizers. Paco glared at Tso and the other chefs stood slumped and defeated. Gao's fugu was served last. Everyone watching on wondered if they'd actually get to see a person die on live TV, but the thought that the fugu was botched never crossed Gao's mind. The judges bit simultaneously, chewed cautiously, and then dropped dead. All eyes shifted from the dead judges to a very confused Gao Tso. Hernandez cried out, "!Veneno! !Asesino! (poison, assassin)," and he drew a long fish knife.

It was not clear how Gao Tso escaped the wrath of five vengeful chefs and a large studio audience. He found himself miles away, covered in sweat and totally winded. His cell phone rang. It was Barry, "So how do you feel about coming to America now?"

Gao Tso fled across the border. Barry had somehow finagled a chinese passport allowing Gao into the country. What actually happened was that one of the other chefs (likely Paco) poisoned his own dish, knowing the fugu would take several minutes to take effect. Whether that investigation is in progress or it has resolved itself by game start is left up to the GM. All the controversy caused the Food Channel to drop Iron Chef, but it (and Gao Tso) were soon picked up by Fox, who thrives on controversy. Maybe they'll have Gao prepare fugu on Fear Factor or some such.


Worst? That's an awesome character. What game system was it for?

Machiavellian
2010-08-05, 11:15 PM
If its D20 Modern,
DIBS!!!

and to all who gave me the idea of the Awakened Cat race, (sorry for the shameless plug) I finally finished the race (see link in my Signature!)

valadil
2010-08-05, 11:21 PM
Worst? That's an awesome character. What game system was it for?

TY. It was for GURPs. It was definitely the so bad it's awesome kind of worst, rather than the should never see the light of day kind.

Cheesy74
2010-08-05, 11:24 PM
Hank/Don description
That may well be the best character concept I've heard in ages. I...I'm just in awe.

drengnikrafe
2010-08-05, 11:59 PM
Suddenly, I am reminded of the other... strange... character concept.
Vow of Poverty Soulknife. Something in that player's head clicked around the third time I suggested he not play a soulknife because "it's class feature is just a WBL". I imagine his thoughts said "I can sacrifice one set of wealth for another."
The weird part was it was one of the strongest members of the party. I was stunned.

Jarawara
2010-08-06, 12:01 AM
I remember one player who made a perfectly acceptable character out of completely unacceptable rolls. He had gotten an 18, 16, 6, 6, 4, & 3. I don't remember the specifics, but his four dump stats were strength, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. He had an 18 Dex and a 16 Con, for an AD&D Thief.

He was too dumb to understand what was going on around him, too weak to do anything about it, smelled bad and had a terrible tendency to barf on himself whenever anyone talked to him. But put anything mechanical in his hands, and he was a natural and picking locks or disarming traps. And in combat, he had high AC, high Hit Points, and was good at climbing the walls and throwing daggers from the ceiling. Sometimes, even throwing them at the enemy instead of at the party.

*~*

Then there was another player, who proposed "An Elf who thinks he is a Dwarf who thinks he is an Elf".

I don't even know what to think about that.

*~*

And finally, this one player proposed an interesting character. He was a surgeon who had operated on his wife but the operation went bad and he was driven insane because of it. He constantly spoke to his dead wife, believing her to still be there with him. The player wanted me (the DM) to roleplay the dead wife, so that he could interact with her, ask questions, maybe even get hints as to where to go next or what to do - neither of which had to be truthful, he would simply assume that she knows what to do, and he would trust her implicitly.

He also then wanted another player to play his wife... WHO HAD IN FACT NOT DIED IN THE OPERATION! But he wouldn't accept that she was his real wife, and while he could interact with her, he'd still turn to his 'fantasy' wife for guidance.

I actually see some potential for this character concept, but being that it came from the same player who was a Dwarf who thought he was an Elf who thought he was a Dwarf, (and then abandoned that idea after a day)... I kinda thought this idea would go badly wrong and then be abandoned just as quick. As it was, before I could talk to him about, he decided that he really didn't want to play D&D anyway.

potatocubed
2010-08-06, 12:59 AM
It's not gonna give you great stats. I see nothing but downsides when compared to say, human. If anything, it should be a negative LA.

The primary advantage of playing a cat - or any other animal - is that you're practically invisible most of the time. The bad guys aren't going to pay you any more attention than any other cat, and in an urban setting that's pretty much 'none at all'.

Take some silent, still spells and you can rain arcane destruction on the area without anyone knowing it's you - because a wizard with greater invisibility is a far more likely candidate than mog-features hiding under the table.

Sindri
2010-08-06, 01:32 AM
I had someone who wanted to play a were-dire wolf, and then after taking 9 levels in that (6 HD + 3 LA) be a druid, and then after 5 levels of that go Master of Many Forms. Never mind that it would result in 9+ wasted levels.

Cespenar
2010-08-06, 01:38 AM
I once proposed a Sorcerer 4/Monk 3/Paladin 2/Rogue 1 to a PbP game here, essentially a martial do-it-all (not so powerful either, I just wanted to combine the Ascetic feats in Complete Something), but the DM (as far as I recall) responded as if I was trying to rape his kids.

From that day on, I began to submit only Aristocrat 20s for PbPs because of the sheer fluff value. :smalltongue:

Zaydos
2010-08-06, 02:02 AM
The worst fluff-wise was a CG werewolf. Now this was a world where werewolves were specifically not of the "Always Chaotic Evil" variety, and specifically a region with good werewolves, where there was a natural conflict because expansionist humans were forcing them out of their homes. The problem? He wanted to be a true lycanthrope werewolf whose purpose in life was to kill any and all werewolves he met on sight, because they must always be chaotic evil. He also knew the only reason he was being allowed to play a werewolf was because of the above. I told him I'd allow it if he could survive. I threw a dragon as the boss of the adventure, proper CR but he had stayed in human form fighting worgs earlier (despite their inability to hurt him at all in werewolf form) and was already almost dead. I ran the same adventure again and he still died.

The worst mechanically was probably a Half-Dragon Dragonfire Adept for a solo-campaign who died spectacularly in his first encounter with a pair of MM goblins. After that a Cat Hengeyokai (+2 Dex, -2 Wis) Ninja/Shaman (Complete Adventurer and Oriental Adventures; Wis to AC and Wis based casting) who actually managed to survive from level 12 to level 20. I made a theurge class for him and offered to let him retrain into it several times, but he was upset it didn't get every ability from both classes. He (my little brother) was pretty young so it's kind of understandable.

Psyx
2010-08-06, 04:48 AM
I'd hope that the guy who played the dwarf ninja was being ironic.

Then there was a guy who used to play characters who were always useless with no real reason to be with the party, who sometimes actively tried to kill us. Like the Victorian escaped lunatic in a Torg game, who seemed to have no useful skills. Or the ACW veteran with PTSD who threw dynamite at the party during a flashback.

All the worst characters I've seen have been a list of blag, with no thought for character, and built around a bunch of numbers. I heard an amazing quote from someone while genning a SW d20 character, and going through the alien races book:

"I want to play one of THESE" *points to picture* "They have a +6 dex!"

"What are they called?"

"Urr... I dunno"

Tyndmyr
2010-08-06, 05:06 AM
The primary advantage of playing a cat - or any other animal - is that you're practically invisible most of the time. The bad guys aren't going to pay you any more attention than any other cat, and in an urban setting that's pretty much 'none at all'.

Take some silent, still spells and you can rain arcane destruction on the area without anyone knowing it's you - because a wizard with greater invisibility is a far more likely candidate than mog-features hiding under the table.

While true...getting into the form of a cat is not something inaccessible to wizards normally. So, this could be a perfectly valid strategy for just about any caster at all. Not really something worth paying LA for.

Machiavellian
2010-08-06, 05:18 AM
While true...getting into the form of a cat is not something inaccessible to wizards normally. So, this could be a perfectly valid strategy for just about any caster at all. Not really something worth paying LA for.

You make a valid point. HOWEVER, casters have time limits. Plus, if you'd look at my version, its (and probably thru wotc) 0LA.

Haarkla
2010-08-06, 05:51 AM
In a Delta Green game I wanted to play a character who was simultaniously a russian double agent, a maoist and a cultist of Yog-Sorgoth. Her main tactic would have been seduction.

She was disallowed by the GM.

hamishspence
2010-08-06, 05:52 AM
The Mr Welsh list had more than a few "forbidden character ideas".

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG

Kaww
2010-08-06, 06:04 AM
A catfolk rogue, with rolled: 18 (dex), 18 (int), 14 (cha), 13 (str), 12 (wis), 9(con).

Wielding a rapier, dagger and a hand xbow. He is good, nonviolent and has less HP than group mage (12 at lvl 4).
He also wanted to take a perk that reduces his hp by one per HD (up to 0 hp per HD) so he could have walk speed 50.
Saves at lvl 3: ref 9, fort 0, will 1 (he permanently lost 1 wisdom so far).
Dmg output: 1d4 + maybe 2d6 sneak. He successfully killed two lvl 1 wizards (4hp, yes he did roll three ones) who had their backs turned with three shots at ecl 5.
He hasn't shown his skillmonkey usefulness in three sessions. Because we have two other, better skillmonkeys.

snikrept
2010-08-06, 06:14 AM
I just had a conversation with one of my players who wanted to build a fighter TWFing with two large wands using Monkey Grip and Double Wand Wielder, and the Wandstrike feat to attack people. He then asked me if I was all right because apparently my eyes went out of focus and I had to grab onto a railing on the walkway. I have never heard a dumber idea for a character in my life - and this guy was completely serious (he's known for being very... strange).

So hit me, GitP, what's the worst character idea you've ever had pitched your way by a real player?

That sounds like a great idea. Wandchucks, yo. :smallcool: It would be even cooler if they were Rods so he could be administering beatdowns with a pair of broom handles.

Avilan the Grey
2010-08-06, 07:34 AM
............. OOPs double post. Sorry.

Avilan the Grey
2010-08-06, 07:40 AM
I haven't seen any really outrageous characters since my mid teens. I recall a few things (this wasn't (A)D&D but Basic Roleplaying, which uses the same 3-18 stat for humans so you get the idea): A minotaur fighter, STR 32, SIZ 25 (size), CON 22, INT 8 etc, which was not bad per se just stupidly overpowered.

One time we had a rather interesting group:
All of us were orcs or half-orcs, due to the whole scenario being "new god / saint preaches to some orcs in a clearing and they decide to follow him".
My friend had a real dump stat in CHA, as an orc (it was 1 or 2) but we solved that by giving him an iron mask, which meant that at least people didn't see him as more hideous than the rest of us.

This whole thing started as a joke but turned out to be one of the most interesting campaigns ever.

Another one that I made deliberately bad (to the complaints of my friends) was a xenomorph in the old D6 based Star Wars. It had rules on how to make your own races, and what I designed was basically, I know now, a Volus without the enviromental suit. Short, round, fat, weak, smart-mouthed and worthless, but highly intelligent, very good at other things than fighting. Basically a comic relief character.

Twilight Jack
2010-08-06, 10:11 AM
My own personal worst was when I tried to combine flurry and TWF.
yep, a monk build. really not that bad, mainly just bad because you have to take monk levels. (if you want to debate the rules on TWF and Flurrying, the rules seem to suggest you can't, but they never actually state anything on the matter, if you would like to clear this up with me or debate it, please PM me)

anyhow, my idea was that a monk somehow teams up with a rogue,
and the rogue uses poisons, and he shows the monk how.
since monks are immune to poison, he just pours it on his fists, takes Versatile Unarmed Strike, and goes to town.
They would have to make a lot of saves (if he actually hit them at all X()

Go with a contact poison, and now the monk can make his entire flurry as a series of touch attacks. As long as we're being silly.

Aroka
2010-08-06, 10:37 AM
I haven't seen any really outrageous characters since my mid teens. I recall a few things (this wasn't (A)D&D but Basic Roleplaying, which uses the same 3-18 stat for humans so you get the idea): A minotaur fighter, STR 32, SIZ 25 (size), CON 22, INT 8 etc, which was not bad per se just stupidly overpowered.

Wait, was this RuneQuest? Because I'm pretty sure RQ minotaurs go berserk when they take damage...

And that reminds me of a hilarious minotaur PC story from Simon Phipp's website. The party tied themselves together in a line to ford a deep river (so anyone failing a Swim check isn't pulled away and drowned). The party minotaur fails the Swim check, then fails the check to not go berserk. The other players look at each other, then tell the DM: "We wait until the bubbles stop coming up, then pull him out."

Choco
2010-08-06, 11:12 AM
The party for a somewhat dark/serious game:

-Conan-esque barbarian
-Venerable wizard played like a typical cranky old man, but with the normal godlike wizard powers
-Warblade general (took leadership even), VERY eccentric and more prone to violence than the barbarian
-Front-line fighter cleric, group face, typical prettboy and VERY concerned with his appearance, healed when he needed to
-Deaf/mute bard with ranks in perform(mime) and perform(interpretive dance) with Chaplin-esque wacky antics!

Yeah, one of those don't fit...

Mongoose87
2010-08-06, 11:23 AM
There's a fellow who plays with my group occasionally. He has a strange combination of 2e, 3.0 and 3.5 edition confusion and the worst ideas ever. His first was to use combat reflexes and cause fear to get numerous AoO, by casting it in the middle of a crowd. Unfortunately, cause fear doesn't really work that way. Next, he decided to turn this cleric into a grappler, which was alright, until he proceeded to trade in half his cleric levels for wizard levels(DM approved), and take levels in the only thing worse than Mystic Theurge: Geomancer. This bloke is absolutely in love with that class. He thinks casting wizard spells in heavy armor is the best thing ever. I don't get it! He went from being a semi-competent cleric to being the most useless member of the party.

Kesnit
2010-08-06, 12:36 PM
I had a player who decided he wanted to play a dog.

My fiancee half-seriously said she wanted to play a cat in my next Call of Cthulhu game. I have a rule set for Call of Cat-ulhu, which she thought was very cool. I debated running a Cat-ulhu game, but one of my players refused to play a cat, so I scrapped it.

AlsoD
2010-08-06, 12:41 PM
A druid that turned into a Dire Ape to use bows too big for him normally. Now this could work, except:

Pathfinder core, so no WIS to hit
Wild shape reduces dex

Kesnit
2010-08-06, 12:41 PM
Does Neverwinter Nights count? Technically I wasn't the one running the whole thing, but I was a DM on one RP server, and I've seen my share of terrible, terrible characters.

Actually, let's not go there. Bad memories resurfacing...

If the server didn't use the PRC, there isn't a lot of options to build really great characters. If it did use the PRC, then I can only imagine what you saw.

Mr.Smashy
2010-08-06, 12:51 PM
I made Vince, the slap-chop guy, in a WoD game. He had the flaw: Obsession (Beating down hookers) it was a blast when my character would stop combat with the obvious bad guys to go slap down some working girls on the corner.

"You can Slice, You can Dice, You can Beat Down Tramps."

Also, I played a Boxing Champion that had lost his title, but then became a Vamp and got it back. He threw Millions of dollars out in the middle of Heavily public places just to watch people stampede each other.

Volos
2010-08-06, 01:30 PM
My top few worst character ideas from my players...

Cleric of Jesus (In a regular 3.5 campaign)

Druid of Jesus (Same idiot)

Sorcerer/Wizard Drow (Now he is not only at +2LA, but half of whatever spellcasting he was going to have)

Bardbarian (It would have been fine, but he was trying to perform while raging, and the rage class feature doesn't let you use Cha skills other then intimidate)

Monk (Seriously, why? Why would you ever play a monk?)

Kobold Barbarian (...)

Wizard (He tried to TWF and Monkeygrip greatswords, stating that he could use them to diliver shocking grasp spells)

Rogue (Made Int his dump stat, thinking that a high dex would give him enough of a bonus to his skill checks. Int of 6 on the only guy who could search for traps)

Prodan
2010-08-06, 01:33 PM
My fiancee half-seriously said she wanted to play a cat in my next Call of Cthulhu game. I have a rule set for Call of Cat-ulhu, which she thought was very cool. I debated running a Cat-ulhu game, but one of my players refused to play a cat, so I scrapped it.

I fail to see the problem. Cats of Ulthar, after all.

Yukitsu
2010-08-06, 01:39 PM
I once wanted to (and still actually do) want to play either of the dispellable characters that I thought up.

One is a guy who spends his entire life eating and drinking nothing but invisible shadow conjured food, slowly becoming a shadow creature thingy himself that poofs if dispelled.

The other was a rock who was polymorph any objected into a corpse, which was polymorph any objected into a living person, who was killed, dispelled once, then raise deaded. If dispelled, she turns into a rock. Not a sentient rock or anything, just a rock.

Kesnit
2010-08-06, 01:40 PM
I fail to see the problem. Cats of Ulthar, after all.

No way to communicate with the party.

Avilan the Grey
2010-08-06, 02:30 PM
Bardbarian (It would have been fine, but he was trying to perform while raging, and the rage class feature doesn't let you use Cha skills other then intimidate)

Kobold Barbarian (...)

Bardbarian: Hey, I have always liked that particular multiclass.
On a less serious note: in this particular instance: Houserule! Can only perform MOTÖRHEAD!! :smallbiggrin:

Kobold Barbarian: Hey that sounds full of win. Seriously.

Octopus Jack
2010-08-06, 02:41 PM
Kobold Barbarian: Hey that sounds full of win. Seriously.

Not as much win as Kobold Knight :smallbiggrin:

and Bardbarians do rock in more ways than one

Nyarai
2010-08-06, 03:38 PM
I hate even thinking about this guy anymore (he was a terrible player overall, not just mechanics-wise), but it's kind of amusing, so I shall share. He rolled something like 18 16 15 11 10 7 and wanted to fill a sort of attacky niche not filled by the cleric and TWF ranger, so Boyfriend cracked the books and showed him Scout. I figured he'd just play a base scout and everything would be hunky-dory, but he saw Arcane Archer (this was 3.5, so it was terrible) and decided this was the class for him... with an 11 Int. I did my best to explain why this was a poor idea, but he thought bumping at every 4th level would make up for it. He also fudged his inventory, always having an acid or fire arrow to shoot at baddies.

His final build was Scout6/Wizard1/Arcane Archer2... which a quick look at the DMG shows isn't even legal. So I told the DM and built him a nice Scout/Ranger Swift Hunter (because I felt bad... also boredom). When I saw him look at Arcane Archer again, I wanted to slap him.

DementedFellow
2010-08-06, 03:52 PM
No way to communicate with the party.

Buy Language: Feline. Viola! Or just handwave it away. Something tells me that wasn't the only issue. Otherwise there are many ways around it.

Coplantor
2010-08-06, 04:00 PM
A bohemian kind of hobo prone to violence with max ranks in perform(interpretative dance). Said it was CN but it was C Stupid, I mean, he bought a catapult and test fired it against the city temple and blamed a group of kobolds that was around the place.

Scarey Nerd
2010-08-06, 05:22 PM
An Elan with an unbelievable hatred of fish. This character actually happened, and the party met him screaming a string of non-sensical curses in Aquan at a Fishmonger's stall.

Stompy
2010-08-06, 06:10 PM
On a less serious note: in this particular instance: Houserule! Can only perform MOTÖRHEAD!! :smallbiggrin:

Done and done. I shall open up with the song "Overkill". :smallbiggrin:

Ragnarok'n'Roll
2010-08-06, 07:24 PM
Worst character someone wanted to play in my game:

CG Drow dual wielding scimitars.. *sigh*


Worst character I played, Dragon shaman. Loved the flavour but they can be pretty boring to play under level 6, since they can't really do anything.

DemLep
2010-08-06, 07:45 PM
An epic level character with one level in every class including variant classes. A literal jack of all trades.

Scarey Nerd
2010-08-07, 12:20 AM
An epic level character with one level in every class including variant classes. A literal jack of all trades.

...That's so bad it made my eyes water... And how is it doable?! Bard/Barbarian need non-lawful, Monk needs lawful, Paladin needs LG, Druid needs a Neutral, and so on, and so on!

Math_Mage
2010-08-07, 01:00 AM
...That's so bad it made my eyes water... And how is it doable?! Bard/Barbarian need non-lawful, Monk needs lawful, Paladin needs LG, Druid needs a Neutral, and so on, and so on!

Well, the character was clearly already one who'd been through more than a few...revelations...in his life. :smalltongue:

Scarey Nerd
2010-08-07, 01:04 AM
Well, the character was clearly already one who'd been through more than a few...revelations...in his life. :smalltongue:

This is true, though I'd love to see the character, he'd be the most messed up person ever:

PC: Okay, what do we do?
JOAT: We should show ourselves boldly and declare a challenge! No, we should sneak behind them and get them whilst they're asleep! No, we should pick them off with our bows, we'll make short work of them! No, we should get pumped and run in screaming, we'll chop them up into smaller pieces than you can imagine! No, we should focus ourselves and then punch them to death.

You get the idea :smallsmile:

Jjeinn-tae
2010-08-07, 01:22 AM
This is true, though I'd love to see the character, he'd be the most messed up person ever:

PC: Okay, what do we do?
JOAT: We should show ourselves boldly and declare a challenge! No, we should sneak behind them and get them whilst they're asleep! No, we should pick them off with our bows, we'll make short work of them! No, we should get pumped and run in screaming, we'll chop them up into smaller pieces than you can imagine! No, we should focus ourselves and then punch them to death.

You get the idea :smallsmile:

So you would say he couldn't do jack then?:smalltongue: Do not strike the punster!

Scarey Nerd
2010-08-07, 01:23 AM
So you would say he couldn't do jack then?:smalltongue: Do not strike the punster!

I love a good pun, this one made me laugh out loud :smallbiggrin:

Do not strike the pun-lover!

DemLep
2010-08-07, 02:58 AM
I think he'd look at stuff from all points then choose the action that would best work.

He would also probably lose like paladin special abilities. It's not a hard character concept, but with no focus the character wouldn't be as useful enough even at epic level.

Math_Mage
2010-08-07, 03:38 AM
I think he'd look at stuff from all points then choose the action that would best work.

He would also probably lose like paladin special abilities. It's not a hard character concept, but with no focus the character wouldn't be as useful enough even at epic level.

Compared to anything else of his level (up in the hundreds if not thousands)? No. Compared to anything else? He's unstoppable. I'm not even sure how this guy got built with so many levels to account for.

Tengu_temp
2010-08-07, 05:16 AM
If the server didn't use the PRC, there isn't a lot of options to build really great characters. If it did use the PRC, then I can only imagine what you saw.

I'm not talking about builds, though there were things like one guy who was a fighter with all stats at 13, who was actually praised by other DMs for this build as an example of good roleplaying (like most of the Polish RPG scene, a lot of people on that server failed the Stormwind Fallacy hard). No, I'm talking about terrible character concepts, terribly executed characters, and characters whose fluff and crunch were completely different. And that's not counting trolls and people who couldn't roleplay their way out of a paper bag (it was an RP server), though at least these tended to get banned quickly.

That doesn't mean there weren't any good characters. There were - most of the prominent players were at least okay, in fact. But when you found something bad, it was really bad.


This is true, though I'd love to see the character, he'd be the most messed up person ever:

PC: Okay, what do we do?
JOAT: We should show ourselves boldly and declare a challenge! No, we should sneak behind them and get them whilst they're asleep! No, we should pick them off with our bows, we'll make short work of them! No, we should get pumped and run in screaming, we'll chop them up into smaller pieces than you can imagine! No, we should focus ourselves and then punch them to death.

You get the idea :smallsmile:

Actually, I don't see any problem combining all these classes. Your class doesn't determine your personality, and it doesn't have to indicate a conscious career choice either. Still a terrible build though.

HunterOfJello
2010-08-07, 05:34 AM
a human monk

Xallace
2010-08-07, 08:26 AM
Actually, I don't see any problem combining all these classes. Your class doesn't determine your personality, and it doesn't have to indicate a conscious career choice either. Still a terrible build though.

That's why we go into homebrew!

Swift Devoted Ascetic Hunter Stalker Outlaw Scoundrel Mage [General]
Your swift devotion to an ascetic hunter-stalker lifestyle has left you as a scoundrel and an outlaw. Also you're a sorcerer.
Prerequisites: Smite Evil 1/day, Flurry of Blows, Sneak Attack +1d6, Skirmish +1d6/+0, Favored Enemy, Ki Pool, Grace +1, ability to spontaneously cast arcane spells.
Benefit: 5. Profit.

Kesnit
2010-08-07, 10:03 AM
Buy Language: Feline. Viola! Or just handwave it away. Something tells me that wasn't the only issue. Otherwise there are many ways around it.

In theory, one of the other players could have put some points in Language: Feline, but that would have only given them a chance to know the cat had something to say, not what she was saying. No "Lassie, where's Timmy? Did he fall in the well again? He did? We need to go get him."

Avilan the Grey
2010-08-07, 10:06 AM
In theory, one of the other players could have put some points in Language: Feline, but that would have only given them a chance to know the cat had something to say, not what she was saying. No "Lassie, where's Timmy? Did he fall in the well again? He did? We need to go get him."

...Which would either be really good, or horrible, depending on the skill and willingness of the players to commit.

Vknight
2010-08-07, 10:37 AM
This is a 4e game just to clarify.

A Dragonborn Fighter who used rocks as his weapons not rocks shaped like weapons rocks he threw them. :smallsigh:

A Eladrin Warlock with nothing in Con or Cha all her points had been put into Int, Dex, and Wis. :smallfurious:

Ashes
2010-08-07, 11:58 AM
A good friend of mine has the tendency to think of middling-to-really-awesome characters that just can't function in a party or anything else, ever.

He made a PL10 M&M character that had drain 10 in a radius around him. He was also pretty much a goth kid. We played for an hour, then I looked at his sheet and read his powers. The we rewound time to when we all met, as the rest of the party all died within two rounds of coming into contact with him. No one had built a character capable of having ten points drained from each ability score every round.

His best though, was in a Victorian Vampire game, where he played an old lamplighter-man (can't for the life of me remember what those are actually called). Well, this guy took his duties REALLY seriously, so what mattered the most to him, was making sure that the lamps were lit and in good shape. The rest of the group never met him, as he didn't have any motivation for doing anything else. He was a really awesome NPC though.

NowhereMan583
2010-08-07, 02:15 PM
I had a player repeatedly pitch me the idea of an awakened sandwich. In several different systems. I'm usually really open to unorthodox character concepts, so I think he took it as some sort of badge of honor that he could come up with something even I would reject.

super dark33
2010-08-07, 02:16 PM
apart from the halfling barbarien and the orc mage and the dwarven sorcerer?

NowhereMan583
2010-08-07, 02:22 PM
apart from the halfling barbarien and the orc mage and the dwarven sorcerer?

Actually, those aren't that bad. Yeah, the racial ability score adjustments don't really work well with the class choices, but that doesn't make them bad ideas. Just a challenge.

Come to think of it, I actually played a dwarven sorcerer in a one-shot a few years ago.

Volthawk
2010-08-07, 02:38 PM
I had a player repeatedly pitch me the idea of an awakened sandwich. In several different systems. I'm usually really open to unorthodox character concepts, so I think he took it as some sort of badge of honor that he could come up with something even I would reject.

Psionic Sandwich trick.


apart from the halfling barbarien and the orc mage and the dwarven sorcerer?

Well, dwarf sorcerer is racial substitution level...

Skaven
2010-08-07, 03:10 PM
Not as much win as Kobold Knight :smallbiggrin:


I always wanted to play a Kobold Knight.

As for mine: TWFing half elf druid.

NEO|Phyte
2010-08-07, 03:14 PM
Psionic Sandwich trick.

Won't work, the psionic sandwich is mundane. An awakened sandwich is something entirely different.

Milskidasith
2010-08-07, 03:28 PM
Won't work, the psionic sandwich is mundane. An awakened sandwich is something entirely different.

I can see this working out incredibly, actually.

Sammich: "You wanna piece of me? You wanna piece of me!? No seriously, do you want a piece of me? I can regenerate and I'm an important part of a balanced brunch!"

All the time while it's hopping up and down and violently waving swords or whatever it uses for its class.

Critical
2010-08-07, 03:35 PM
I can see this working out incredibly, actually.

Sammich: "You wanna piece of me? You wanna piece of me!? No seriously, do you want a piece of me? I can regenerate and I'm an important part of a balanced brunch!"

All the time while it's hopping up and down and violently waving swords or whatever it uses for its class.

:o

Anyone up to make this kind of game?

JaronK
2010-08-07, 04:11 PM
I have one player who constantly insists on playing a were whale in any game she's in, just because she thinks it's funny to randomly turn into a whale midway through an adventure. Not a whale with powers, just a whale out of water.

Another one decided to play Proto Man in Shadowrun. He still has the character, but for obvious reasons has found it really boring.

JaronK

Project_Mayhem
2010-08-07, 05:46 PM
apart from the halfling barbarien and the orc mage and the dwarven sorcerer?

Nothing wrong with a bit of Halfling barbarian. Look at Eberron.

UserClone
2010-08-07, 05:53 PM
That's....while suboptimal, a hilarious build, and can only be improved by putting wand sockets in your wands.

So you can wand while you wand...?

CakeTown
2010-08-07, 11:02 PM
All 4E:

In my regular group's game:
A Bladeling Ranger with 5 wisdom. Every single one of his utility powers were useless. Plus he'd always run into the middle of a group of enemies to use his Razor Storm power, even though it only did about 6-11 damage. He was downed a total of 3 times throughout the campaign, including once during the first battle against a few rats(although to be fair the fighter and I were in another room, and the cleric was running to get us). He improved after the DM gave him a houseruled amulet that gave him a +2 to wisdom and he changed some feats and powers. I still say his character concept was stupid in the first place; his backstory was that his father was killed by a sword wielding person, and he challenges everyone wielding a sword to a duel.

In the game I DMed:
A Changeling Psion/Cleric hybrid. I don't like this because I find the hybrid rules and psychic points sort of confusing. The main problem was that this was the guy's first D&D campaign. He made his Wisdom high and his Intelligence just above average, which isn't a huge deal. But he also picked 2 Psion powers and 1 Cleric power, meaning he got a terrible bonus on his Psion powers. Second problem: he picked all ranged powers, along with a repeating crossbow. In the first battle, he ran out ahead of my character and got surrounded by kobolds. Bad news for him, as he was almost killed before I could do anything. I ended up fudging a few rolls and he survived. But he ended up buying a morningstar in the next town just in case.

These aren't as entertaining as some of the stories on here, and they're mostly noob mistakes, but I thought I'd share anyway.

nolispe
2010-08-08, 12:16 AM
A Sorcerer with eight Con, nine Cha. Str 18.
A Paladin who died in character creation, and was rebuilt with one Con.
A Wizard who thought all magic was evil and refused to use it.

All of these were completely serious, and the players who made the first two thought they were good, powerful characters. The first one was worried they were going to be too powerful, and was willing to cut the Str.

Shyftir
2010-08-08, 01:32 AM
Worst ever has to go to a buddy of mine who has wonderful moments of inspiration...that we've all come to dread.

We started playing M&M 2e, which of course allows almost any concept due to the Point Buy system. He finds the Mutation power in the Ultimate Power book and proceeds to design a character who mutates others to give them useful traits, not a horrible idea at first glance but wait; The DM decided that mutation was a dangerous power so he wanted his to be unreliable. As in, "let me make your skin super hard! oh.. whoops your a bunny rabbit."
The other members of the party were an android, a battlesuit guy, and an angel riding a human body.

After about 10 minutes of work everyone realized this character was unplayable. At that point we bought him a mole-machine with quad-linked flamethrowers. He also had some other completely useless power that none of us can remember.

Escheton
2010-08-08, 02:10 AM
So the dm nerf actually nerfed him? Wow, that never happened before. And now he is useless so he has to fill another role. Nice. It's like a forced reroll except it's not so he can't complain. Yeah...

Ricky S
2010-08-08, 02:11 AM
I played a halfling that had a permant reduce person spell cast on him. Oh and did I mention that he was the party fighter?

Mystic Muse
2010-08-08, 02:12 AM
A Paladin who died in character creation, and was rebuilt with one Con..

How do you die in character creation?

Escheton
2010-08-08, 02:28 AM
You could build a blood sorcerer that died in character creation at lvl 1 to not lose a lvl, but a paladin?

nolispe
2010-08-08, 04:00 AM
How do you die in character creation?

Venerable Age, Elf. Eight Con to start. "'Cause he's really old and stuff, but he's really nice. Also, elves are cool, right?"

miibtp
2010-08-08, 04:21 AM
one of my players came up with a character which did 30d8 con drain, auto hit, no saves allowed.

note that this was a level 3 character, god knows how he did it...

Math_Mage
2010-08-08, 09:58 AM
one of my players came up with a character which did 30d8 con drain, auto hit, no saves allowed.

note that this was a level 3 character, god knows how he did it...

The Magical Power of Munchkin?

The Glyphstone
2010-08-08, 10:19 AM
The Magical Power of Munchkin?

Or he meant PL3, because they were playing M&M. I'm sure that sort of thing is plausible in M&M.

Drascin
2010-08-08, 10:28 AM
Or he meant PL3, because they were playing M&M. I'm sure that sort of thing is plausible in M&M.

Nah, it wouldn't be 30d8 if it was M&M. M&M uses fixed values for drains, not rolls :smalltongue:.

Zaydos
2010-08-08, 07:27 PM
My younger brother just suggested the character concept of using the symbiotic creature template from Savage Species to make a parasitic gnome infecting a half-ogre. Or a human druid that infects a treant (to symbolize our dependency on nature he says). I'm not sure if these are some of the worst ideas I've ever heard or best.

Urpriest
2010-08-08, 07:42 PM
I played a halfling that had a permant reduce person spell cast on him. Oh and did I mention that he was the party fighter?

There are actually some awesome fighter builds that get better when tiny. I think they mainly work with gnomes though.

MariettaGecko
2010-08-12, 09:29 AM
Although I should perhaps not admit this one, I have one I put together. We were playing an Eberron campaign, and the DM had told us to Gestalt our characters (mainly because, at the beginning of the game, we were short of players. That problem resolved itself later). I decided to make a Kalashtar Paladin/Psion. I only got 3 skill points/level, so the DM houseruled that I get the sum of the points I would have due to my two classes, instead of the higher of the two (which were both three+int). More amusing, however, was the backstory bit. I had been present when my paladin mentor (yeah, yeah, run with it) was killed by a chaos mage. In the process, a part of the chaos magic hit me and left me with a long-term effect... About 10% of the time, magic had no effect at all upon me. I think it was 20% of the time, magic behaved as though cast in a wild magic zone, and the rest of the time it worked normally. The thing is, this meant that sometimes, I would pick up a magical sword and it would poof into (for instance) a bouquet of flowers or else would simply work as a masterwork sword of the appropriate type. Healing spells? They might work. Then again, they might kill me. Note that this only came into effect if the spell was cast upon me or in the vicinity of me such that I would be within the AoE. Add to this that I had two or three characters in the party who were actively trying to find a way to make me fall.

Flavor-wise, it was a really fun character. At the time, however, I got to the point that I hated him.

Escheton
2010-08-12, 11:05 AM
My Dwarven Defender psiwar with a ballista as soulbound weapon was shot down by the dm pretty hard.

Gnaeus
2010-08-12, 12:08 PM
PC (in a vampire game): I want to play a loner. Who lives out of town. And hates other vampires, and dislikes all the different factions. And he never talks to anyone.

Me: So you want a character who never attends games, and when he is forced to do so he never interacts with anyone and leaves as soon as possible???

PC: Exactly.

Me: Then why even come to games? You could stay home and do something. You could come without a PC and help the DM or just stay in the out of character area.

PC But I want to play.

??????

Kami2awa
2010-08-12, 12:42 PM
Does the phrase "Gnome Werebear Ninja" scream "huh??!!"

or perhaps our infamous Paladin of Ale (He was a Dwarf Paladin who worshiped Ale, as in the drink). How the DM allowed that crap, I will never know.

http://www.offwestend.com/files/btpub103.jpg

All Hail to the Ale!

Balain
2010-08-12, 01:44 PM
Playing 2nd edition, had a friend want to play an illithid, using the complete book of psionics. He would make people see him as a normal person. His most important magic item was his ring of sustance.

Not sure if it was a horrible idea or not. In fact we all tried playing it once at some point or another during 2nd edition. I think it was in Legands and Lore. There was some god that allowed Chaotic Paladins.

Milskidasith
2010-08-12, 01:58 PM
Playing 2nd edition, had a friend want to play an illithid, using the complete book of psionics. He would make people see him as a normal person. His most important magic item was his ring of sustance.

Not sure if it was a horrible idea or not. In fact we all tried playing it once at some point or another during 2nd edition. I think it was in Legands and Lore. There was some god that allowed Chaotic Paladins.

How are either of those terrible ideas? Illithid hiding among humans is odd but not crazy or bad, and chaotic paladins are actually already rules legal (paladin of freedom)

Glyde
2010-08-12, 06:16 PM
Dual wielding pillow fighter with rocks in the pillows, who smothered people with the pillows once they were unconscious. Yeah.

Lhurgyof
2010-08-12, 06:20 PM
A fellow player: Kender Bard named Billy Joel... along with a slew of other Kender characters... He got away with just not having to roll any sleight of hand checks, like ever. Wheras my +34 Bluff was worth less than **** against anything that wasn't a PC.

grarrrg
2010-08-12, 06:57 PM
his backstory was that his father was killed by a sword wielding person, and he challenges everyone wielding a sword to a duel.

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you may have possibly killed my father, probably not, but I can't take that chance. Prepare to die!

nihilism
2010-08-12, 07:17 PM
well you can tell your group sucks when the dwarf barbarian is obsessed with crap. in the sunless citadel they came upon a magic barrel of water they deduced that it was the citadels water supply and the dwarf decided to poison the well, he climbed up sat down and took a crap unfortunately the barrel was inhabited by a mephit (or something) which was producing the water it was not amused and stuck a melfs acid arrow into his ass. the character unfazed by this incident eventually asked to make a digestive system based prestige class projectile feces toxic farting etc i shot that down quite fast he actually became a perfectly good player after he got over that idea.

i was once in a group where the most lawful player was the gnome bard and by lawful i mean lawful he actually established a fascist country. he wasn't even trying to be funny he just ended up being incredibly lawful.

StoryKeeper
2010-08-12, 10:55 PM
I've actually played the Kobold Knight before. He did alright for a few sessions (I tried to make him a mounted archer but I don't think I ever found a mount), but then had a mental breakdown when the party, sent to be the special police that clean up the crime in the city, HIDE THE BODY OF AN ORPHAN THAT THE DRUID'S ANIMAL COMPANION SNAKE KILLED. That game didn't last long after that. I just couldn't explain to everyone else in the party why our Lawful Good characters probably wouldn't act this way.

There's also one of my favorite characters. He was fun to play, I'd love to play him again, and I can't help but cringe when I look at his backstory. This was the first character I made after a were-wolf druid; to be fair we weren't using the level adjustment rules properly, or at all. The character was the 'son' of Orcus who had had a chunk of his mind severed, corrupted with demonic intent, and reattached. So basically he had an evil voice in his head ta kept telling him to spread undead throughout the world. His parents were murdered when he was a child, and shortly afterwards he went into a daemonic rage and killed his whole village because he was so misunerstood and blah blah blah. I wear this sounded like a good idea at the time. And not nearly so horribly cliche.

He wore Ghoul Gauntlets so that his hands would look creepy and eventually kicked some other evil cleric's butt by, somehow, summoning Orcus. The corpse was touched by such fell power that the cloak the guy was wearing never stopped dripping blood. So of course I immediately put the cloak on... Hehe... yeah... but he was still fun to play.

I am currently considering playing a character with only NPC class levels to force myself to be creative in combat situations. Unfortunately, I suspect that any action in a combat situation that isn't "I cast spell X" or "I attack with weapon Y" will be met with much more than a hail of enemy arrows as punishment. Though to be fair, they do let me use spells in creative ways sometimes.

Crasical
2010-08-12, 11:06 PM
I just had a conversation with one of my players who wanted to build a fighter TWFing with two large wands using Monkey Grip and Double Wand Wielder, and the Wandstrike feat to attack people. He then asked me if I was all right because apparently my eyes went out of focus and I had to grab onto a railing on the walkway. I have never heard a dumber idea for a character in my life - and this guy was completely serious (he's known for being very... strange).

WandBeard Beardwand, the wand-ering wand-warrior.

This might have been almost viable if he'd wanted to use rods instead, since most of those can be used as light maces.
Just checking the SRD, Rods of Alertness (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#alertness), Lordly Might (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#lordlyMight) (in it's unaltered form), Thunder and Lightning (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#thunderandLightning), and Withering (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#withering) all can be used as light maces and therefore dual-wielded, although there's really not much reason for having two Rods of Alertness and the Rod of Lordly Might turns into better weapons. Two Rods of Thunder and Lightning or Rods of Withering has potential to be interesting though, provided you're willing to sink 50k or 66k gold into your weapons.

The Glyphstone
2010-08-12, 11:17 PM
The Rods of Thunder/Lightning are unimpressive, +2 maces with some 1/day elemental damage attacks. Dual-wielding Rods of Withering could get nasty though, especially since they're melee touch attacks.

Escheton
2010-08-12, 11:21 PM
WandBeard Beardwand, the wand-ering wand-warrior.

This might have been almost viable if he'd wanted to use rods instead, since most of those can be used as light maces.
Just checking the SRD, Rods of Alertness (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#alertness), Lordly Might (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#lordlyMight) (in it's unaltered form), Thunder and Lightning (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#thunderandLightning), and Withering (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#withering) all can be used as light maces and therefore dual-wielded, although there's really not much reason for having two Rods of Alertness and the Rod of Lordly Might turns into better weapons. Two Rods of Thunder and Lightning or Rods of Withering has potential to be interesting though, provided you're willing to sink 50k or 66k gold into your weapons.

He had probably played too much ddo, where you can indeed dualwield rods. They count as clubs. And there are some oversized ones that look rather cool. Now, wandchamber in rods are pretty nifty...

Tinydwarfman
2010-08-12, 11:32 PM
The Rods of Thunder/Lightning are unimpressive, +2 maces with some 1/day elemental damage attacks. Dual-wielding Rods of Withering could get nasty though, especially since they're melee touch attacks.

Hmm, thats cool... Any ways to up the DC? The only one I can think of right now is that binder vestige...

Draconi Redfir
2010-08-12, 11:37 PM
i made a bard that can only comunicate by singing, plays and weilds a keytar with an axe blade attached to it, and has dreams of one day building golems :D

Milskidasith
2010-08-12, 11:45 PM
Hmm, thats cool... Any ways to up the DC? The only one I can think of right now is that binder vestige...

Why up the DC when you can lower your enemies saving throws? I think the evil paladin and hexblade both drop enemy saves, though hexblade may have been against spells only.

FMArthur
2010-08-12, 11:49 PM
Guys, the reason the double-large-wandstriker-fighter was the worst idea I'd ever heard was that not a single component of it works. At all. Maybe it would be kind of entertaining thematically to see in game, but it breaks apart on every possible level and would be terrible as a combat tactic even if every part worked perfectly.

Crasical
2010-08-13, 12:28 AM
11th level gets you 66k gold, that's enough for a pair of weapons.

A level11th hexblade can use his curse to give anyone who fails a DC 15+cha modifier a -2 to all other saves for an hour, and gets full BAB progression.
He'll have his 1st, 3rd, 6th, and 9th levelup feats, enough for Weapon Finesse, Two Weapon fighting and Improved two weapon fighting, plus two other feats.

You have full BAB, +11/+6/+1. With an assumed 18 dex and weapon Finesse, that's a +4 to hit. TWF and ITWF give you a -2 to all those attacks, soo...

... I have no idea how TWF and multiple attacks works. :smallconfused: I THINK it comes out to:

+13/+8/+3 main hand
+13/+8/ with offhand.

If you take a level of fighter at 11 instead of hexblade, you can get
+13/+8/+3 with either hand. Every one of those is a touch attack, too. Assuming that your opponent was hit with every attack and failed every save, he'd take between 6 and 24 points of str and con damage.

An encounter calculator (http://www.penpaperpixel.org/tools/d20encountercalculator.htm) says that a cr 7 is about equal to this, so... A six-headed pyrohydra (intimidating-ish) has 17 strength and 20 con. You could conceivably beat it down in one round of combat, especially since each time it fails it's saving throw it loses con, and it's fort throw gets worse.