Vampires Suck: A Parody of Twillight? Worse than the real thing?

[Lord Loss]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw1oGbdXzoU

Thoughts? Watching this preview, it look atrocious.

I saw a better trailer yesterday but can't seem to find it...

[kamikasei]

This is by the <X> Movie guys? I would expect it to be less entertaining on every level than simply watching Twilight with a couple of shot glasses.

(Come to think of it, the movie'll probably be horrible, but it's the principle that counts)
Do you imagine "Twilight sucks" is so hard a sentiment to find expressed?

[Axolotl]

Given their track record? I'd prefer to watch Twilight to be honest.

[Comet]

Hating on Twilight is even more boring than Twilight itself. Just let it go, dudes, all the good sparkle jokes have already been told a thousand times!

Edit: Oh, and I'm pretty sure Lady Gaga is in this movie. As in, a parody of Lady Gaga.
Seriously, the Movie Movie guys aren't even trying anymore. They just go on the Internet and steal whatever semi-humorous fads were popular, say, a year ago.

Edit the second: Also, the name. Vampires suck? God damnit.
Okay, that's all the hate I can summon for the day. I think.

[Lord Loss]

Who are these people? I've never heard of them myself. (Rewatching that trailer the movie look atrocious.

I saw a different preview in cinemas... one that looked funny.

(Definetly not seeing this now)

[Prime32]

Who are these people? I've never heard of them myself. (Rewatching that trailer the movie look atrocious.

I saw a different preview in cinemas... one that looked funny.

(Definetly not seeing this now)http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SeltzerAndFriedberg

[Jahkaivah]

Basically Adolf Hitler is trying to make fun of Genghis Khan.

[Lord Loss]

It's those guys. I saw meet the spartans. Apart from a few funny bits, that was a cringe-worthy movie. Not seeing this (if it gets good reviews I might rent it, though)

[Haruki-kun]

._.

I cannot believe this.

[Emperor Ing]

We should've known this would happen. The concept has promise, but it falls into the vein of Metal Wolf Chaos. Great idea, the execution...err...didn't happen.

[Mauve Shirt]

Ugh. I hate all of the movies made by these guys. They're unable to competently parody anything.

[Haruki-kun]

Ugh. I hate all of the movies made by these guys. They're unable to competently parody anything.

Some critic pointed out that the problem they have is that they don't know the difference between parodying something and merely referencing it.

"Oh, haha! look! Hannah Montana appeared in the film! Epic lulz!"

Referencing. Not parodying.

[Tengu_temp]

Great. Enough Twilight haters will go see this movie that it will make a lot of money instead of flopping, giving Seltzer and Friedberg the budget to make several more terrible films. I hope my prediction won't come true.

[Haruki-kun]

Great. Enough Twilight haters will go see this movie that it will make a lot of money instead of flopping, giving Seltzer and Friedberg the budget to make several more terrible films. I hope my prediction won't come true.

Twilight haters pride themselves in liking good movies and literature. Most Twilight haters hate these movies. I wouldn't be so sure.

[Tengu_temp]

You're talking about people who hate legitimate reasons to hate Twilight. I'm talking about people who hate Twilight because it's a new fad. Which group is more numerous?

[Haruki-kun]

You're talking about people who hate legitimate reasons to hate Twilight. I'm talking about people who hate Twilight because it's a new fad. Which group is more numerous?

Fair point.

I guess it depends on whether they hate Twilight more than Disaster Movie.

[meshumekha]

If you IMDB the writers (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0294997/)/directors (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0783536/) of Vampires Suck, you will find that these insignificant twits have done nothing but write awful movies since Scary Movie. The only thing they touched before Scary Movie was Spy Hard, which despite having Leslie Nielsen, was complete garbage like the other 10 movies they've made. They're making a Scary Movie 5, from my understanding. Obviously, they don't understand how the art of parody works. This has been clear since Scary Movie, though it is miles above Date Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc. etc. But what needs to be TRULY understood is that there are actually people who enjoy these movies. There are TRULY human beings who find this to be legitimate entertainment, which is way more frightening than the fact that there are morons to make the film. We should probably be educating these people about what real comedy is, rather than try to explain that what they are watching is moronic. So, this is my public service announcement. Tell a friend about Mel Brooks. Maybe show them some 80s SNL, or lend them a Weird Al album. Maybe, just maybe, if we're really lucky, they'll stand up and realize that 2010 SNL and Vampires Suck is complete garbage.

[Haruki-kun]

@^: Protip: They didn't actually work much on Scary Movie. And only the first one.

From TV Tropes, on Scary Movie's article:


Unfortunately, this film's success is largely to blame for the later careers of Seltzer And Friedberg, who had been part of the writing team on the original film (albeit only in the vaguest sense - they wrote the initial script, which the Wayans Brothers jettisoned and rewrote from scratch) and proceeded to co-opt the idea with more and more puerile iterations of it in different genres.

[RabbitHoleLost]

If you IMDB the writers (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0294997/)/directors (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0783536/) of Vampires Suck, you will find that these insignificant twits have done nothing but write awful movies since Scary Movie. The only thing they touched before Scary Movie was Spy Hard, which despite having Leslie Nielsen, was complete garbage like the other 10 movies they've made. They're making a Scary Movie 5, from my understanding. Obviously, they don't understand how the art of parody works. This has been clear since Scary Movie, though it is miles above Date Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc. etc. But what needs to be TRULY understood is that there are actually people who enjoy these movies. There are TRULY human beings who find this to be legitimate entertainment, which is way more frightening than the fact that there are morons to make the film. We should probably be educating these people about what real comedy is, rather than try to explain that what they are watching is moronic. So, this is my public service announcement. Tell a friend about Mel Brooks. Maybe show them some 80s SNL, or lend them a Weird Al album. Maybe, just maybe, if we're really lucky, they'll stand up and realize that 2010 SNL and Vampires Suck is complete garbage.

Hey, now, the first Scary Movie was great. Mostly, because something so blatantly stupid and horribly nagging and nitpicking and vulgar hadn't really been done before.
Maybe it was just stupid luck.
Really, though, I loved the first Scary Movie.

And then they didn't know when to stop, and it didn't stop with just horror movies.

I'unno. I know the first trailer for Vampires Suck that I saw (linked on Facebook by Renegade Paladin, surprise surprise) was amusing, in a "this should stay as a trailer because and hour and a half of it would get old" kind of way.
But, as 'Ruki said, they don't know how to parody. They simply try to cram as many references and dirty, vulgar comments into a movie as they possibly can.

[Nameless]

From the trailer, it seems pretty good actually. I'm just worried it'll end up like Epic Movie or Superhero Movie. :smallsigh:

[meshumekha]

I never said I didn't like Scary Movie 1. I like 1 and 2 quite a bit, actually. They're still awful films. I like NOFX as a band, but they're still really awful. As for it "ending up like Epic Movie or Superhero Movie" I'd like to add or Scary Movie 3 and 4, or Date Movie, or Disaster Movie, or Meet The Spartans, etc. etc.

[Haruki-kun]

I never said I didn't like Scary Movie 1. I like 1 and 2 quite a bit, actually. They're still awful films. I like NOFX as a band, but they're still really awful. As for it "ending up like Epic Movie or Superhero Movie" I'd like to add or Scary Movie 3 and 4, or Date Movie, or Disaster Movie, or Meet The Spartans, etc. etc.

Superhero movie is not by them, either. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SuperheroMovie)

[meshumekha]

That...that doesn't mean its not awful.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

I would submit to everyone that all these parody type movies that have come out in recent years are nothing but complete garbage that really aren't all that funny to begin with. Which is why I avoid them like the plague.

[MoelVermillion]

That...that doesn't mean its not awful.

But it does mean someone went out of their way to copy these guys, even going so far as to use the same naming convention... If you're not terrified by the thought of this then you are probably actually a robot in disguise.

[Eldan]

Cool, I'm a robot!

Honestly, though: I just don't care.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Seltzer and Friedberg? *Headkeyboard*

zndrkmltfdbgfklhjsadgflk

Leave it to them to fu--mess up a parody of Twilight.

[monomer]

Here's a parody movie trailer of a Twilight movie that I would actually like to see:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gu7jsgjUM0

[Lycan 01]

Me and my girlfriend are planning on seeing it. We think it looks funny. I don't like Twilight, but I hate the "X Movie" series a whole lot worse. But as stupid as half the jokes are, I've gotten plenty of laughs from the trailers, and the few actual movie segments I've seen at least got a chuckle out of me. So while I don't expect it to be good by any means, I expect to laugh several times and make fun of a movie making fun of a movie.

[TheLaughingMan]

Me and my girlfriend are planning on seeing it. We think it looks funny. I don't like Twilight, but I hate the "X Movie" series a whole lot worse. But as stupid as half the jokes are, I've gotten plenty of laughs from the trailers, and the few actual movie segments I've seen at least got a chuckle out of me. So while I don't expect it to be good by any means, I expect to laugh several times and make fun of a movie making fun of a movie.

I wish people like you would stop giving them money to fund their future atrocities.

[Starfols]

Okay.. some of the jokes in the trailer made me laugh. :smalleek::smallbiggrin:

Having had actually seen Twilight, I remain optimistic. It'd be like watching Twilight again, but with (maybe even clever) references thrown in. How bad could it be?

[TheLaughingMan]

Okay.. some of the jokes in the trailer made me laugh. :smalleek::smallbiggrin:

Having had actually seen Twilight, I remain optimistic. It'd be like watching Twilight again, but with (maybe even clever) references thrown in. How bad could it be?

Disaster Movie

[Starfols]

Disaster Movie

:eek:

Awww, you jinxed it. :smalltongue:

[ShaggyMarco]

When I saw this, my first thought was, "Huh...I was wondering how long until someone did this." My second thought was, "Holy Crap! That's Matt. I went to high school with him. I didn't know he was an actor."

That's when I found out I went to high school with both Jar Jar's 1st cousin and Anakin's voice.

Weird evening.

[Liffguard]

I thought that trailer actually had a couple of funny moments. More than likely, those were all of the funny moments in the actual film. There were also some ideas (like Jacob being contractually obligated to remove his shirt every ten minutes) that had the potential to be funny if the delivery wasn't so ham-handed.

I think a full-length Twilight parody movie is just a bad idea in principle. It will get old quick. A series of short sketches on the other hand has potential.

[nyarlathotep]

We should've known this would happen. The concept has promise, but it falls into the vein of Metal Wolf Chaos. Great idea, the execution...err...didn't happen.

Wow that was low, comparing metal wolf chaos to those awful movies. Having only seen Metal Wolf Chaos' cut scenes on youtube, I can say unless the game-play consisted of you xbox shooting you in the knees with a twelve gauge, it's leagues better than the <x> movies.

[Lord Seth]

As for it "ending up like Epic Movie or Superhero Movie" I'd like to add or Scary Movie 3 and 4, or Date Movie, or Disaster Movie, or Meet The Spartans, etc. etc.Scary Movie 3 was decent.

[Cracklord]

As someone who's fondest hobby is playing inventive games making fun of Twilight, I am shocked, shocked, at how poor a job they did.
Shocked I say!

[VanBuren]

Scary Movie 3 was decent.

Eh, I thought they were all awful.

[doliest]

Eh. I'll probably see it. Best case scenario, it's funny. Worst case scenario, making fun of it is funny.

[meshumekha]

No, no. Worst case scenario, its atrociously unfunny. So unfunny that it's not even funny enough to make fun of. But all your friends love it. YOUR GOD. WHERE IS HE NOW.

[Lord Seth]

Eh, I thought they were all awful.I thought Scary Movie was decent and Scary Movie 3 was the best of the Scary Movie series; I laughed a lot at that one. Scary Movie 2, on the other hand, made me laugh only a handful of times. Never saw the fourth so can't comment on it.

[doliest]

No, no. Worst case scenario, its atrociously unfunny. So unfunny that it's not even funny enough to make fun of. But all your friends love it. YOUR GOD. WHERE IS HE NOW.

Trust me, if my friends find it funny, I'll find it at least enjoyable. And I've heard people say that a movie can't even be 'made' funny. They said that about Last Airbender. That was one of my favorite theater experiences.

[The Glyphstone]

Trust me, if my friends find it funny, I'll find it at least enjoyable. And I've heard people say that a movie can't even be 'made' funny. They said that about Last Airbender. That was one of my favorite theater experiences.

On its own merits (shudder) or because you were making fun of it?

[Terry576]

On its own merits (shudder) or because you were making fun of it?

Possibly because he did what I recommend everybody do:

Read this (http://io9.com/5576076/m-night-shyamalan-finally-made-a-comedy) review before going and seeing it.

But god, I know this will suck worse than anything. Not only because of the creators, but because this means that Twilight will continue to grow.

After a while, I just wanted to give the series a hug, and let it cry itself to sleep, dying slowly inside from the inane idiots on both sides of the debate.

[doliest]

It varies. If the movie is funny, I'll laugh. If it's not, it's because I'm making fun of it.

[Lord Raziere]

Once again Seltzer and Friedburg demonstrate how not to parody anything.

Class dismissed.

[Otogi]

No, no. Worst case scenario, its atrociously unfunny. So unfunny that it's not even funny enough to make fun of. But all your friends love it. YOUR GOD. WHERE IS HE NOW.

I believe this is a test that He has given, as with Noah and the Flood, He now tests all man kind with this crap, to see our intelligence through. Fear not, for He is not discriminating nor judging us by how intelligent we as individuals are, but rather to see if we are fit for survival and whether or not we see this film is a gauge to our need to live. We can now only hide from such a film in the refuge of the screenings of The Expendables and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, but we also give pity to critics and film analysts, for their life is a constant punishment of tortures as Pluto Nash, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Server and From Justin to Kelly. Truly, they are the martyrs of cinema news and information!

Honestly, though, this is probably the duo's best film. Which means it's probably going to be crap. The only thing I really found funny in the trailer (you know, where quite a few comedies put their best jokes) was the one where Fauxward blocked the SUV with somebody else - ruined, of course, by showing him screaming in pain.

[Jalor]

Watching the trailer, there are actually several real jokes in it. Four, to be exact.

- The Cullens ordering Chinese to drink the delivery guy's blood. The whole idea of 'monsters order delivery to eat the delivery guy' joke is funny even when Seltzer and Friedburg do it.

- The werewolves dancing to "It's Raining Men". Because they already looked like male strippers in the real movie and it's too silly for somebody not to make fun of.

- Jacob being forced by his contract to periodically remove his shirt. I've been making that joke since the trailer for the first Twilight movie. Seltzer and Friedburg stole my joke, but at least it's a joke.

- The vampires getting mistaken for the Black Eyed Peas. I'm actually a little proud of Seltzer and Friedburg for making an actual joke instead of having them actually BE the Black Eyed Peas. Actually, I think I made this joke too, when I saw the trailer for whatever Twilight movie had that one bunch of vampires.

Yeah, four jokes in the whole trailer. Probably all of them. This is an improvement on past efforts. What is the world coming to?

[Lord Loss]

I didn't mind scary movie 4. It was not all that good, but it had some funny moments. The grudge references were probably the main reason i actually enjoyed it, though (and their take on The Village was completely retarded).

[rakkoon]

Funny trailer. Good movie for when it is really late, you're dead tired and nothing else is on. Nothing more, nothing less

[Inhuman Bot]

This is exactly what it took to lower my standerds about vampire movies.

[shadow_archmagi]

You know, I heard the TITLE of this movie, and I knew it was going to be bad.

That's all it took for me.

[Dr.Epic]

While I do think the majority of the <X> Movies are awful, I am at least glad to see someone striking back against all the bad vampire movies and TV shows. I would at the very least like to see the film, but I would not pay to actually see it in theatres.

[Vorpalbob]

I'll go if someone offers to pay for me. :smallbiggrin:
Otherwise I'll wait until it comes out on DVD and rent it. Wouldn't be the worst five bucks I've ever spent.

[Dr.Epic]

I'll go if someone offers to pay for me. :smallbiggrin:
Otherwise I'll wait until it comes out on DVD and rent it. Wouldn't be the worst five bucks I've ever spent.

I'm not even sure I'd pay to rent it. More like wait until it comes on on some TV channel.

[Setra]

I'll admit the trailer made me chuckle a couple of times, but even then it was mostly unfunny. I don't like judging movies based on trailers either way, though.

If it gets good reviews I'll check it out, I don't like judging things before they come out.

[Comet]

I'll admit the trailer made me chuckle a couple of times, but even then it was mostly unfunny. I don't like judging movies based on trailers either way, though.

If it gets good reviews I'll check it out, I don't like judging things before they come out.

To be fair, judging things before they come out is pretty much what some majority of Twilight haters around the globe are doing. To be precise, they judge the series without even reading the first book. Or doing basic research on it.

Not saying that you or I or anyone with half a brain would do it, just trying to set up a theme here.

[Lord Loss]

I've seen parts of the original, so I know full well how bad it is (in my opinion). I haen't read the books, so i won't Judge them.

[Robert Blackletter]

Trust me, if my friends find it funny, I'll find it at least enjoyable. And I've heard people say that a movie can't even be 'made' funny. They said that about Last Airbender. That was one of my favorite theater experiences.

Damn who ever said that did not watch sign in the cinema with an overly witty mate. (though to be fair the rest of our moan after the film saying we ruin it)

[shadow_archmagi]

all the bad vampire movies


Is it really that much of an epidemic?

I mean, I know of THREE tv shows with vampires in them. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (REALLY GOOD) True Blood (my friends say it is good but I havn't seen it) and, uh, that one other show whose name I can't recall with the vampire detective. Which is also not that bad.

I can't think of ANY vampire movies.

[Comet]

Is it really that much of an epidemic?

I mean, I know of THREE tv shows with vampires in them. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (REALLY GOOD) True Blood (my friends say it is good but I havn't seen it) and, uh, that one other show whose name I can't recall with the vampire detective. Which is also not that bad.

I can't think of ANY vampire movies.

There appear to be many more vampire shows coming on the telly now that Twilight is the cool thing around.
One of them, "Vampire Diaries" or some such nonsense, was described in a commercial as something like "Twilight meets Gossip Girl" with "really cool action scenes to keep the boys interested".

I kinda promised not to express anger anymore for a while, but holy walrus some people are stupid. People see one thing doing really well and they automatically think that they can get instant profit as well if they just copy every single aspect of it. Damn.

[Axolotl]

I can't think of ANY vampire movies.Daybreakers and Underworld spring to my mind whenever rubbish vamire movies are mentioned.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Yeah, I'm gonna go back to my Carpe Jugulum. Now there's a good vampire parody.

[kamikasei]

...that one other show whose name I can't recall with the vampire detective.
Do you mean Angel?

[comicshorse]

Is it really that much of an epidemic?

I mean, I know of THREE tv shows with vampires in them. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (REALLY GOOD) True Blood (my friends say it is good but I havn't seen it) and, uh, that one other show whose name I can't recall with the vampire detective. Which is also not that bad.

.

Forever Knight ? Blood Ties ? ( and for shows with Vampires in them may I add Blade and Ultaviolet )

[JadedDM]

So this movie has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Anyone surprised? Anyone?

[Otogi]

So this movie has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Anyone surprised? Anyone?

Not really, it's Rotten Tomatoes.

[Lord Seth]

There appear to be many more vampire shows coming on the telly now that Twilight is the cool thing around.
One of them, "Vampire Diaries" or some such nonsense, was described in a commercial as something like "Twilight meets Gossip Girl" with "really cool action scenes to keep the boys interested".

I kinda promised not to express anger anymore for a while, but holy walrus some people are stupid. People see one thing doing really well and they automatically think that they can get instant profit as well if they just copy every single aspect of it. Damn.It's funny that you call it "stupid" when The Vampire Diaries is currently the strongest show in the ratings for its network.

[Otogi]

It's funny that you call it "stupid" when The Vampire Diaries is currently the strongest show in the ratings for its network.

Hate to admit so, but ratings do not equal quality. If you don't work for the CW, at least.

[PhoeKun]

Hate to admit so, but ratings do not equal quality. If you don't work for the CW, at least.

Ratings matter quite a bit when the charge made is that it's stupid of someone to think that the popularity of Twilight means there's room for further vampire shows/movies. There's clearly an audience for it.

[CoffeeIncluded]

So this movie has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Anyone surprised? Anyone?

Nope. If you'll excuse me, I'll be heading over there for a bit. I need my daily dose of snark.

Also, you avatar looks like a male Serrin. :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Seth]

Hate to admit so, but ratings do not equal quality. If you don't work for the CW, at least.And when did I ever say ratings equaled quality, or said anything about the quality of the show? Someone said that making the show was "stupid" and I pointed out that you can hardly say it was a stupid decision when it's the most successful show for its network.

As for quality, I haven't seen it and thus can't really comment on it, but I have heard some good things about it; Television Without Pity certainly seems impressed with it.

[Otogi]

And when did I ever say ratings equaled quality, or said anything about the quality of the show? Someone said that making the show was "stupid" and I pointed out that you can hardly say it was a stupid decision when it's the most successful show for its network.

As for quality, I haven't seen it and thus can't really comment on it, but I have heard some good things about it; Television Without Pity certainly seems impressed with it.

I guess I got caught up in a rolling misinterpretation. But I do agree with you that it's not really a poor decision for ratings, though I probably should have made that clearer in my post.

[Yulian]

But what needs to be TRULY understood is that there are actually people who enjoy these movies. There are TRULY human beings who find this to be legitimate entertainment, which is way more frightening than the fact that there are morons to make the film. We should probably be educating these people about what real comedy is, rather than try to explain that what they are watching is moronic.

Every person who pays money for these sorts of films is directly contributing to the damage inflicted on the film industry that keeps actual art or even plot out of mainstream cinema.

Studios want to make money. If inane, meandering crap like these two make turns a profit, then the studios will let them do it again.

I vote with my wallet, and they don't get a penny.

- Yulian

[Coidzor]

Basically Adolf Hitler is trying to make fun of Genghis Khan.

Hey now, don't you be badmouthing the Khan. :smallannoyed:

[The Glyphstone]

Hey now, don't you be badmouthing the Khan. :smallannoyed:

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!:smallbiggrin:
[/shatner]

[Mx.Silver]

Daybreakers and Underworld spring to my mind whenever rubbish vamire movies are mentioned.

Underworld was released 7 years ago (and therefore predates Twilight's publication by about 2 years) while Daybreakers has nothing in common with Twilight at all as was made clear from when it was first announced. They may not be good but neither owe the Twilight series anything.

So in answer to Shadow Archmagi:

Is it really that much of an epidemic?
No. The only thing that genuinely seems derivative of Twilight is The Vampire Diaries, which is a TV show anyway.


I still wouldn't go to see this film if you payed me though. I still remember what Epic Movie was like and from the looks of the trailer they haven't improved. At all.

[Coidzor]

But it does mean someone went out of their way to copy these guys, even going so far as to use the same naming convention... If you're not terrified by the thought of this then you are probably actually a robot in disguise.

See, since the movies make money anyway, I'd much rather someone did the same thing, only, y'know, right and co-opted the market out from under them than for them to continually churn them out.

Then again, I'd also rather they die after being the only ones making them for 20 years and then the practice dying with them rather than... equally bad or worse successors arising.

Unfortunately, if they make money, then others will want to get in on that...x.x

[Lord Seth]

No. The only thing that genuinely seems derivative of Twilight is The Vampire Diaries, which is a TV show anyway.I believe I should mention that The Vampire Diaries is based on a book series that came before Twilight (though I don't know how close the TV series sticks to the original material). Obviously the success of Twilight (and presumably also True Blood) was a factor in greenlighting the series, however.

[Prime32]

I believe I should mention that The Vampire Diaries is based on a book series that came before Twilight (though I don't know how close the TV series sticks to the original material). Obviously the success of Twilight (and presumably also True Blood) was a factor in greenlighting the series, however.The success of Twilight made me hopeful that the much-discussed Darren Shan (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheSagaOfDarrenShan) movie would finally be greenlit. Then it came out and they'd turned it into a comedy which throws massive spoilers for the books around for no reason. :smallannoyed: Imagine if the first Harry Potter movie...

(SPOILERS)
Killed Cedric Diggory
Referred to the chamber containing the Philosopher's Stone from the first book as the Chamber of Secrets
Had Dumbledore show Harry a vision of the future where Snape killed him, explaining it was part of the plan.
Made Hermione a guy.
Made Sirius an evil monster who was trying to gain the Hallows so he could attack the US

...and you might have an idea of what the quality of the adaptation was like.

[TheLaughingMan]

So this movie has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Anyone surprised? Anyone?

:smallsmile:

There is a god!

[Mystic Muse]

The success of Twilight made me hopeful that the much-discussed Darren Shan (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheSagaOfDarrenShan) movie would finally be greenlit. Then it came out and they'd turned it into a comedy which throws massive spoilers for the books around for no reason. :smallannoyed: Imagine if the first Harry Potter movie...

(SPOILERS)
Killed Cedric Diggory
Referred to the chamber containing the Philosopher's Stone from the first book as the Chamber of Secrets
Had Dumbledore show Harry a vision of the future where Snape killed him, explaining it was part of the plan.
Made Hermione a guy.
Made Sirius an evil monster who was trying to gain the Hallows so he could attack the US

...and you might have an idea of what the quality of the adaptation was like.

I was looking at a book subtitled "Demonata" today/ Looking at the TVtropes page (There should be a link right on the page you linked) I am SO glad I did not buy that thing

[Temotei]

Yeah, I heard it was pretty terrible.

There was one thing in a trailer that made me laugh, though. "I want to eat you!" "Really? Most guys aren't into that."

[CoffeeIncluded]

Yeah, I heard it was pretty terrible.

There was one thing in a trailer that made me laugh, though. "I want to eat you!" "Really? Most guys aren't into that."

Sling enough mud at the wall and eventually something will stick.

*Goes back to Carpe Jugulum. Deconstructing Twilight 10 years before Twilight was published!*

[Coidzor]

...Must...Resist...Comment...
...:smallconfused::smalleek::smallconfused:

And here I thought I had a dirty mind and I can't think of anything that hasn't already been said. :smallconfused:


*Goes back to Carpe Jugulum. Deconstructing Twilight 10 years before Twilight was published!*

What? I thought it was just made of awesome and win. Speaking of which, I need to find my old copy.

[CoffeeIncluded]

What? I thought it was just made of awesome and win. Speaking of which, I need to find my old copy.

Oh yeah. Read the part about Agnes/Perdaita and Vlad again. :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Loss]

This got the same RT percentage as Alien versus Hunter (AvH, otherwise known as the worst movie I've ever seen). This bodes Ill for the quality of Vampires Suck...

Also, the Demonata series is some of my favorite book series (the first being called Lord Loss, one of the main villains). If you can stand plots being long and complicated (Once you get past book six) then It's an amazing series.

EDIT:The last book was kind of... wonky, but still awesome
EDIT 2: I reccomend reading book 2 first, but that's me.

[Rutskarn]

It's funny how you can look at one poster for this at the mall and instantly hate anyone involved with this project.

[Dr.Epic]

Yeah, I got a question to anyone who actually saw it (though I doubt that wouldn't be too many people). How much product placement did they shove down your throat? That's the only way these films keep getting made: very little actual film and the absolutely awful special effects are covered by companies whose product is endorsed by the movie. I remember Meet the Spartans was basically an hour long commercial with some of the worst special effects and costumes I ever saw. There was also some heavy product placement in Date Movie.

[Demons_eye]

Yeah, I got a question to anyone who actually saw it (though I doubt that wouldn't be too many people). How much product placement did they shove down your throat? That's the only way these films keep getting made: very little actual film and the absolutely awful special effects are covered by companies whose product is endorsed by the movie. I remember Meet the Spartans was basically an hour long commercial with some of the worst special effects and costumes I ever saw. There was also some heavy product placement in Date Movie.

I saw it today and did not notice any product placements.

I liked it simply beacuse I got to go out and enjoy a movie without having to see Hollywood screw up another job. The last few movies I saw? Scott Pilgrim vs the World, Sorcerers Apprentice, Lighting Thief, Clash of the Titans, Alice in Wonderland, and its getting fuzzy but I know within the year I saw Blood and Chocolate, Skin walkers, and Vampires Assistant. I have, to a point, hated all these movies beacuse I read the things before they were made into movies.

Vampires suck? I liked it beacuse it had nothing to live up to. It was better than I expected and I would go see it again with a lot of friends if I could gather them all up. Ya some of the jokes were bad and they tried to hard but I laughed out loud which is something I have not done in a while.

[Lord Seth]

liked it simply beacuse I got to go out and enjoy a movie without having to see Hollywood screw up another job. The last few movies I saw? Scott Pilgrim vs the World, Sorcerers Apprentice, Lighting Thief, Clash of the Titans, Alice in Wonderland, and its getting fuzzy but I know within the year I saw Blood and Chocolate, Skin walkers, and Vampires Assistant. I have, to a point, hated all these movies beacuse I read the things before they were made into movies.Really? You hated Scott Pilgrim? I thought the film did a great job adapting it, even better in some ways (though I can only judge its adaptation of the first two books, as I haven't read the others). Either way, I thought it was a great film both when comparing it to its source material and on its own merits.

[Demons_eye]

Really? You hated Scott Pilgrim? I thought the film did a great job adapting it, even better in some ways (though I can only judge its adaptation of the first two books, as I haven't read the others). Either way, I thought it was a great film both when comparing it to its source material and on its own merits.

I really like the movie but I can not detach myself from the 'and they switched that around' or the 'was that in the book?' mentality. I would notice that they changed something and it would take away from the movie. I love the books but the movie can't live up too it and thats where my 'hate' comes from.

If I watched the movie first then read the books I would have been a lot happier.

[Lord Seth]

As a brief note, I found Spillcom's Review (http://www.spill.com/Movie-Reviews/MovieReview.aspx?Name=Vampires%20Suck&VideoId=520858) of the movie to be funny. (Note: Profanity)

[TheLaughingMan]

Vampires Suck? I liked it because it had nothing to live up to. It was better than I expected, and I would go see it again with a lot of friends if I could gather them all up. Yeah some of the jokes were bad, and they tried too hard, but I laughed out loud which is something I have not done in a while.

If you haven't laughed that loud in a while, then I suggest something to cure your clinical depression.

[doliest]

I'm going to see it in about three days, so I'm hoping it'll be good. I've really stopped taking sites like Rotten Tomatoes as any type of warning. Not due to thinking I'm smarter or something, but simply because I rarely find myself aligned with the consensus of the site.

[TheLaughingMan]

Not due to thinking I'm smarter or something, but simply because I rarely find myself aligned with the consensus of the site.


An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!

We can see that.

[Dr.Epic]

I saw it today and did not notice any product placements.

Really? I thought the money from product placement was the main finance for these films.


The last few movies I saw? Scott Pilgrim vs the World, Sorcerers Apprentice, Lighting Thief, Clash of the Titans, Alice in Wonderland, and its getting fuzzy but I know within the year I saw Blood and Chocolate, Skin walkers, and Vampires Assistant. I have, to a point, hated all these movies beacuse I read the things before they were made into movies.

No Kick-Ass or Iron Man II. Man, speaking as a Super Hero fan, you missed out on the good films.

[Grumman]

Really? I thought the money from product placement was the main finance for these films.
Maybe companies are paying not to have their products featured in their films, now?

[Dr.Epic]

Maybe companies are paying not to have their products featured in their films, now?

:smallbiggrin: Ha ha, good point.

[SaintRidley]

Ended up seeing it with my girlfriend yesterday.

In her words, "Aside from the parts that were more direct parody of Twilight, it was okay. The parts that were directly from Twilight brought it down."

All in all though, she thought it was superior to Twilight.

[Demons_eye]

No Kick-Ass or Iron Man II. Man, speaking as a Super Hero fan, you missed out on the good films.

Saw Kick-Ass and Iron Man II but Kick Ass had nothing to live up to for me as I never read the comics. Iron Man II was way back in like April I think so I forgot about it. It was very nice and I loved whiplash.

[Prime32]

It was very nice and I loved whiplash.You mean Crimson Dynamo Whiplash Blacklash random Russian guy.

[Avilan the Grey]

...I must say that judging from the trailer this is their best movie since Scary Movie #1. They seem to actually have thought some of the jokes through. Or maybe the source material is so easy to make fun of that even they succeeds?

In the meantime I'll pop in Underworld in the DVD player again; it is a vampire movie I genuinely like.

[Renegade Paladin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw1oGbdXzoU

Thoughts? Watching this preview, it look atrocious.

I saw a better trailer yesterday but can't seem to find it...
I'm sure the movie sucks (I have no intention of seeing it), but the trailer is comedy gold. :smallbiggrin:

[Dr.Epic]

Iron Man II was way back in like April I think so I forgot about it. It was very nice and I loved whiplash.

It came out in May.

[Kiren]

Well forget you all, I thought Vampires Suck, and every other movie (That I seen, I haven't seen date or disaster movie) made by the duo was great!

Don't get me wrong, by far weren't the greatest movies ever made.

It doesn't beat Seven Pounds, Inglorious Basterds, Iron Man, I Am Legend, The Red Violin, Fight Club or Avatar (Jake Sully).

I like the random slapstick humor. Isn't my favorite genre, but I liked the movie.

My movie tastes are greatly varied, which should be noted.

Now if you excuse me, my Ikran is waiting, for I must flee before I get mauled to death in the playground.

[doliest]

Seven Pounds.
.
..
I Am Legend.

And my taste are the ones made into a hilarious banner? :smalltongue:

No, but the Boll thing is a bit of a guilty pleasure. I know they're bad; but they're bad in a hilarious way, even when I'm alone. Not to mention, while a jerk move, challenging your critics to a boxing match....epic.

[Lord Loss]

Seven Pounds wasn't one of my favorite movies. Mind, I did enjoy I Am Legend.

[Kiren]

Will Smith is a blessing to the movies he stars in. All the movies. All of them.

Edit: Doesn't mean the movies have to be necessarily good, most of them are, but it makes the poorer ones watchable.

You win an internet if you find a non-related reference in that sentence.

[Dr.Epic]

Will Smith is a blessing to the movies he stars in. All the movies. All of them.

You win an internet if you find a non-related reference in that sentence.

Men in Black II and I Am Legend...:smallannoyed:

[Kiren]

Men in Black II and I Am Legend...:smallannoyed:

I am legend, he was amazing in.

And..... gulp I am going to regret saying this.... I never saw Men in Black.

Actually I saw it too long ago to remember it, but didn't see the entirety.

[VanBuren]

Will Smith is a blessing to the movies he stars in. All the movies. All of them.

You win an internet if you find a non-related reference in that sentence.

That doesn't make the movies good, it just makes him the only good thing in it.

[Kiren]

That doesn't make the movies good, it just makes him the only good thing in it.

Which can still be regarded as a blessing to have him in it to make it watchable.

[Lord Loss]

That doesn't make the movies good, it just makes him the only good thing in it.

QFT. Like the actor. I liked the Men in Black series. And the dog improved the series! And The Second was awesome! And while I'm at it Jar Jar binks is an amazing Star Wars characters, and the only good part of the prequel series!

[TheLaughingMan]

Seven Pounds.
.
..
I Am Legend.

And my taste are the ones made into a hilarious banner? :smalltongue:

Don't forget Avatar. But I digress.

[Kiren]

I should also mention SAW, as one of my movie tastes. Also Austin Powers and Team America.

[Lord Seth]

Men in Black II and I Am Legend...:smallannoyed:Men In Black II, while certainly not as good as the first, was still a decent movie.

[AtlanteanTroll]

It was freaking hilarious. But that may be becuase I wanted it too be.

[Lord Loss]

I should also mention SAW, as one of my movie tastes. Also Austin Powers and Team America.

I like some aspects of SAW, but I find the gore factor to be exaggerated. And one of the traps gave me nightmares...

[Kiren]

I like some aspects of SAW, but I find the gore factor to be exaggerated. And one of the traps gave me nightmares...

After watching Saw, I realized I do not fear scary movies anymore. More often I get a enjoyment reaction instead of the familiar fear one. Same with scary games, my friend is scared to death of Alan Wake, I am not.

Either way, Saw is great, never had a Saw nightmare, hell I have a mask of Jigsaw in my room, in the open, 24/7, doesn't scare me.

[Coidzor]

Really. Saw. that's what we're on. :smallsigh:

[VanBuren]

After watching Saw, I realized I do not fear scary movies anymore. More often I get a enjoyment reaction instead of the familiar fear one. Same with scary games, my friend is scared to death of Alan Wake, I am not.

Either way, Saw is great, never had a Saw nightmare, hell I have a mask of Jigsaw in my room, in the open, 24/7, doesn't scare me.

Eh, SAW's not "fear", just "gore". I'll take a psychological horror any day of the week.

[Kiren]

Right, well I don't want to derail the topic now do I.

Ahem. Vampires Suck was good. That is all.

[Avilan the Grey]

It was definitely their second best movie to date. Mostly because just like the first Scary Movie, the source material contained enough potentials for jokes that they didn't need to just make random "jokes" (like the video game reference in Meet The Spartans for example).

[TheLaughingMan]

It was definitely their second best movie to date. Mostly because just like the first Scary Movie, the source material contained enough potentials for jokes that they didn't need to just make random "jokes" (like the video game reference in Meet The Spartans for example).

And yet most of us have already made those jokes in the (two?) years between.

Tell me, my comrade, what Lady GaGa has to do with Twilight?

[The Glyphstone]

And yet most of us have already made those jokes in the (two?) years between.

Tell me, my comrade, what Lady GaGa has to do with Twilight?

Their popularity far outstrips their quality?

[Comet]

Their popularity far outstrips their quality?

That kinda works, but it's still a terribly shaky connection. Lady GaGa is in the film so that the audience can exit the theatre after the film is over and start excitedly chatting with each other: "Wow, did you see that? That film about that thing also had that other thing that we're all familiar with! Comedy gold!"

It all comes back to the whole referencing, not parodying thing. But hey, I haven't even seen Vampires Suck yet so I might be completely off here. Maybe they've actually managed to write some humour this time instead of just bashing their heads against whatever is popular at the moment.
I'm not holding my breath, but I guess I could watch this when it comes out on DVD or something.

[Kiren]

And yet most of us have already made those jokes in the (two?) years between.

Tell me, my comrade, what Lady GaGa has to do with Twilight?

Reason why Lady Gaga was in Vampires suck
Edward Sullen leaves Becca for her safety and finds someone else that is as freaky as he is, Lady Gaga.

[TheLaughingMan]

Reason why Lady Gaga was in Vampires suck
Edward Sullen leaves Becca for her safety and finds someone else that is as freaky as he is, Lady Gaga.

You and I both know that that reason is strenuous at best.

And yet, it seems almost like a legitimate plot compared to Disaster Movie

[comicshorse]

You and I both know that that reason is strenuous at best.

A

I don't think that means what you think it means

[TheLaughingMan]

I don't think that means what you think it means

Inconceivable!

[Kiren]

That wasn't the plot. No, the plot is a parody of the first 2 twilight movies.

Basically lady gaga is only in that scene.

[Avilan the Grey]

That wasn't the plot. No, the plot is a parody of the first 2 twilight movies.

Basically lady gaga is only in that scene.

Exactly. This movie has, as I said above, a very small amount of "nonsense" jokes that doesn't have to do with vampires in general and twilight in particular.

[VanBuren]

Reason why Lady Gaga was in Vampires suck
Edward Sullen leaves Becca for her safety and finds someone else that is as freaky as he is, Lady Gaga.

Eh, it still reeks of throwing Lady Gaga in because she's part of popular culture with an unfunny joke thrown in as an afterthought.

[Coidzor]

Eh, it still reeks of throwing Lady Gaga in because she's part of popular culture with an unfunny joke thrown in as an afterthought.

Well, yes, she sort of attracts such things though, so it's understandable they'd want to fit her in somewhere. Considering the genre they're created with these things is inherently contemptible....

[VanBuren]

Well, yes, she sort of attracts such things though, so it's understandable they'd want to fit her in somewhere. Considering the genre they're created with these things is inherently contemptible....

I'm just saying that it's not as if it's a quality piece of humor.

[Kiren]

Exactly. This movie has, as I said above, a very small amount of "nonsense" jokes that doesn't have to do with vampires in general and twilight in particular.

No, it did stick to the parodying twilight plot. Not like meet the spartans.

[Lord_Gareth]

Is it worth seeing in theaters or not?

[Kiren]

Is it worth seeing in theaters or not?

It depends apon your feelings for the directors + your feelings for twilight.

The movie is one of their best works, if you want to see twilight owned on many levels, then see it.

I recommend checking it out in theaters.

[Lord Seth]

Go watch Scott Pilgrim instead.

[TheLaughingMan]

Go watch Scott Pilgrim instead.

This.

Also, the two reviewers who gave this 'fresh' are being ripped to shreds on Rotten Tomatoes. And it's hilarious.

[CoffeeIncluded]

This.

Also, the two reviewers who gave this 'fresh' are being ripped to shreds on Rotten Tomatoes. And it's hilarious.

Please provide links.

[TheLaughingMan]

Please provide links.

First (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/vampires_suck/comments.php?reviewid=1924515), Second (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/vampires_suck/comments.php?reviewid=1925168), and because it was so beneficial to those two's careers, Third. (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/vampires_suck/comments.php?reviewid=1926641)

Honestly, I just found it funny that everyone is ready to denounce them as soon as the words "Seltzer", "Friedberg", and "good" leave their lips.

[CoffeeIncluded]

First (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/vampires_suck/comments.php?reviewid=1924515), Second (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/vampires_suck/comments.php?reviewid=1925168), and because it was so beneficial to those two's careers, Third. (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/vampires_suck/comments.php?reviewid=1926641)

Honestly, I just found it funny that everyone is ready to denounce them as soon as the words "Seltzer", "Friedberg", and "good" leave their lips.

Thank you!

[chiasaur11]

Go watch Scott Pilgrim instead.

Or a third time.

I need to see it a third time. I missed the hole in the moon.

[Lord_Gareth]

I was actually rather unimpressed by Scott Pilgrim, and would demand my money back if the theater would actually give it to me.

[chiasaur11]

I was actually rather unimpressed by Scott Pilgrim, and would demand my money back if the theater would actually give it to me.

You are a horrible and broken person, then.

Seek help.

Or, more likely, you went to the wrong film. Did "Scott Pilgrim" have, oh, I dunno, poorly done parodies of Twilight, talking dogs, or Julia Roberts being self obsessed around the world?

If so, you got the wrong ticket and should complain.

[Silly Wizard]

I went to see that movie with my girlfriend. The loud and chatty audience was more funny than the actual movie was. However, there was at least one funny scene: Right after one of those "touching moments" between Bella and Edward, a girl from Team Jacob comes out of nowhere shouts "Team Jacob, *****!" and slams a mace into Edward's head, then it abruptly goes to credits. Hard to explain it well, but that joke was actually pulled off perfectly.

Ironically, I actually like the Twilight movies (I was the one dragging my girlfriend to see those, rather than vice versa). But Vampires Suck just, well.... sucked.

[Yora]

I don't even know what Scott Pilgrim is.

Seriously, never heard of it.

[meshumekha]

Not to fuel the off-topic fire, but what is so great about this Scott Pilgrim? I've never read the comic, so I can't say anything for the story line. But if Michael Cera was in the film, I doubt it was worth anything at all.

[VanBuren]

Not to fuel the off-topic fire, but what is so great about this Scott Pilgrim? I've never read the comic, so I can't say anything for the story line. But if Michael Cera was in the film, I doubt it was worth anything at all.

Then you thought wrong.

[thegurullamen]

Not to fuel the off-topic fire, but what is so great about this Scott Pilgrim?

Edgar Wright. If you don't know who that is, you have two very good (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365748/) movies to watch. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425112/) If not three.

[Lord Seth]

I don't even know what Scott Pilgrim is.

Seriously, never heard of it.Scott Pilgrim was a comic series that was adapted into the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (the name of volume two). I actually thought the movie was an overall improvement on the comics. I recommend checking the movie out.

EDIT: Incidentally, can someone tell me why Michael Cera seems to get so much hate?

[chiasaur11]

Scott Pilgrim was a comic series that was adapted into the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (the name of volume two). I actually thought the movie was an overall improvement on the comics. I recommend checking the movie out.

EDIT: Incidentally, can someone tell me why Michael Cera seems to get so much hate?

Envy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAV0sxwx9rY).

[tsuuga]

EDIT: Incidentally, can someone tell me why Michael Cera seems to get so much hate?

He's extremely typecast as the "Loser Protagonist Who Is Awkward And Unlikeable But The Girl Throws Herself At Him, So Yay".