What are clothes?

[Doctor Acula]

So I was talking to my dad in the car today about how some people wear spandex clothes that are quite literally skin tight. He claimed that we would never see anyone wear them publicly because they aren't really clothes. This brings me to my question: What constitutes clothes?
Can I just cover myself with clear plastic wrap in the groin and bosom areas and call that clothes?
Can I just dip my self in paint and call it clothes?

[truemane]

Epistemologically (Can't believe I actually used that word), what constitutes clothing would depend on what purpose you think clothing serves. If it's for comfort/warmth, than anything that keeps you comfortable/warm. If it's for the sake of modesty and decency, then anything that covers enough of the human body for you to feel that decency and modesty are retained.

Legally, it would depend on what the laws are where you live. It is legal for women to walk in public with no shirts on where I live. So, for a woman here, clothing does not necessitate a shirt.

But YMMV.

[Starscream]

Spandex doesn't qualify as clothes...
Wonder Woman wears spandex...
So...Wonder Woman doesn't wear clothes...

No wonder I instinctively don't like Wonder Woman's new costume. She's wearing clothes now.:smallamused:

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Spandex doesn't qualify as clothes...
Wonder Woman wears spandex...
So...Wonder Woman doesn't wear clothes...

No wonder I instinctively don't like Wonder Woman's new costume. She's wearing clothes now.:smallamused:

Wonder Woman never wore clothes! Wonder Woman never shall wear clothes!

[Prime32]

So I was talking to my dad in the car today about how some people wear spandex clothes that are quite literally skin tight. He claimed that we would never see anyone wear them publicly because they aren't really clothes. This brings me to my question: What constitutes clothes?
Can I just cover myself with clear plastic wrap in the groin and bosom areas and call that clothes?
Can I just dip my self in paint and call it clothes?Sounds like No True Scotsman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman) to me.

[Haruki-kun]

clothes
   /kloʊz, kloʊðz/ Show Spelled[klohz, klohthz]
–plural noun
1.
garments for the body; articles of dress; wearing apparel.

—Synonyms
1. clothing, attire, raiment, costume, garb; vestments, habiliments.

Well that clears up........ nothing! :smalltongue:

[thubby]

Can I just cover myself with clear plastic wrap in the groin and bosom areas and call that clothes?
i can recall one instance in which tatoos counted as clothing for the guineas world record show.


Can I just dip my self in paint and call it clothes?

as a matter of fact yes, if you are a woman.

[Thajocoth]

Clothing is anything made of a material that you wear. Paint isn't. Plastic wrap is.

The law is that you can't expose certain parts of your body. Something see-through, like plastic wrap, would not legally cover you, even though you have turned it into clothing. Depending on your exact anatomy, paint could cover some areas that are otherwise illegal to show, and can therefore satisfy the legal requirement, despite not being clothes.

Where I am, only the genitals must legally be covered. A "cup" as they call it in sports, and a little tape, would be the bare minimum for a guy. A thin layer of paint could work for some women. I have never seen anyone dress in that little in public though.

I've seen images of a woman walking around in what looks like tight clothing (including denim shorts), but was actually paint. It's hard to tell from more than a few feet away.

That help?

[TheThan]

Rebecca Romijn wore blue body paint and little rubber strips over her naughty bits when she played mystique (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mystiquemovie.jpg), in the X-men films. They qualified that as clothing.

[Thajocoth]

Rebecca Romijn wore blue body paint and little rubber strips over her naughty bits when she played mystique (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mystiquemovie.jpg), in the X-men films. They qualified that as clothing.

The rubber strips certainly are. I'd say the body paint falls into the make-up department though, personally. Costumes probably just had the bigger budget.

[Dr.Epic]

Anything that gives me a bonus to AC.

[Lord Raziere]

I wear the world as clothes. The universe is just worn by me to compliment my natural handsomeness. :smalltongue:

[Tirian]

The rubber strips certainly are. I'd say the body paint falls into the make-up department though, personally. Costumes probably just had the bigger budget.

I think it depends on how thick the paint is. Water with dye in it is certainly makeup. But enough latex and you essentially have a custom-"tailored" bodysuit.

I don't know. There are undoubtedly prevailing cultural standards of modesty throughout the world. But I don't think that "clothes" are obliged to conceal the shape of the wearer's body as the OP's father evidently does. Except only in the crotchety sense, like continuing on that what they play on the radio nowadays isn't "music" either.

[Illiterate Scribe]

Obscenity is whatever gives a judge an erection.


- Some American lawyer. I don't think there's an uncontestable boundary between clothes and not clothes.

[Project_Mayhem]

Right, the Oxford English Dictionary (the definitive dictionary :smalltongue:) Has simply:

clothes pl. n. items worn to cover the body.

So that's settled then :smallbiggrin:

[shadow_archmagi]

Clothes are pants.

[toasty]

Clothes are pants.

Surely its the other way around?

All Clothes are pants
No Pants are shirts
Therefore, No clothes are shirts

I loved my logic class last year. :smalltongue:

[Warlock Odin]

Is a clothing is in the eye (or eyes) of the beholder a bit to obvious and tacky?

I suppose clothing could be as simple as having a layer (define as you will) over the skin, clothing truly is a perspective term that maybe hasn't aged well.

[Knaight]

I suppose clothing could be as simple as having a layer (define as you will) over the skin, clothing truly is a perspective term that maybe hasn't aged well.

A more picky definition could require woven textiles or cross linked plastics over a certain size, which prevents some paint from qualifying, which works under certain definitions of item.

[Deth Muncher]

Clothes are pants.

I think I see what you did there...

[RationalGoblin]

If you have to ask, then it's probably not clothes. :smallamused:

[Starscream]

Is a clothing is in the eye (or eyes) of the beholder a bit to obvious and tacky?

Now I'm off to homebrew a beholder whose central eye emits an Anti-Clothes Beam.

[Deth Muncher]

Now I'm off to homebrew a beholder whose central eye emits an Anti-Clothes Beam.

I think there's a spell about that in the Book That Shall Not Be Named.

[golentan]

Anything that gives me a bonus to AC.

No, no. Anything that makes you visible. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0025.html)

[Quincunx]

I think there's a spell about that in the Book That Shall Not Be Named.

What, "Discern Natural Redhead"?

[Mattarias, King.]

What, "Discern Natural Redhead"?

:amused: I like you.


Anyways, I think clothes are anything you can wear. However, "appropriate" and "good" clothes are a whole new bag of fireworks.

[Deth Muncher]

What, "Discern Natural Redhead"?

-groan- I was talking about the depantsing spell, but sure, why not. :smalltongue:

[Starscream]

Anyways, I think clothes are anything you can wear. However, "appropriate" and "good" clothes are a whole new bag of fireworks.

Then today I shall go out just wearing a big smile. I'll let you know how it works out for me.

[KuReshtin]

No, no. Anything that makes you visible. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0025.html)

Or this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzWN4v2Ck0s) :smallbiggrin:

[Viera Champion]

Wearing nothing at all obviously wouldn't be clothing, but other than that, it really depends on a persons culture. Clothing can be anything from a simple penis gourd to a full body Burka that doesn't even show the eyes.

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

Wearing nothing at all obviously wouldn't be clothing, but other than that, it really depends on a persons culture. Clothing can be anything from a simple penis gourd to a full body Burka that doesn't even show the eyes.

I'm currently picturing a panicked blindfolded man holding a rather phallic gourd in front of the relevant area.

[Mattarias, King.]

Then today I shall go out just wearing a big smile. I'll let you know how it works out for me.

Welp, good luck with that. I predict you'll be making a lot of friends today. :smallsigh: Like I said, whole different bag of fireworks.

[Asthix]

Oh man, ninja'd on the penis gourd...:smallwink:


Epistemologically (Can't believe I actually used that word), what constitutes clothing would depend on what purpose you think clothing serves. If it's for comfort/warmth, than anything that keeps you comfortable/warm. If it's for the sake of modesty and decency, then anything that covers enough of the human body for you to feel that decency and modesty are retained.

Legally, it would depend on what the laws are where you live. It is legal for women to walk in public with no shirts on where I live. So, for a woman here, clothing does not necessitate a shirt.

But YMMV.

This is what I've learned from this thread. Shirts are not clothing.

[Project_Mayhem]

And penis gourds rock

[Doctor Acula]

I wish I had a penis gourd. I would wear it everywhere

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

With a bit of gardening, you'd have a fresh supply every year.

[Project_Mayhem]

You need 1 gourd and 1 corkscrew



http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee139/billyadavies/Gourd.jpg
Like so.

I can't illustrate step 2.

[Devils_Advocate]

Clothing is anything made of a material that you wear.
Is jewelry really clothing, though? Obviously it falls into the broad general category of "things that are worn", but I don't know that I'd call a ring an article of clothing. (And if it isn't, is it because of the material or the size? Is metal armor "clothes"?)

Do things not intended to be worn become clothes when worn? If so, do things not become clothes until they're worn?

"What is food?" is a similar question.

[Thajocoth]

Is jewelry really clothing, though? Obviously it falls into the broad general category of "things that are worn", but I don't know that I'd call a ring an article of clothing. (And if it isn't, is it because of the material or the size? Is metal armor "clothes"?)

Do things not intended to be worn become clothes when worn? If so, do things not become clothes until they're worn?

"What is food?" is a similar question.

Jewelry is clothing too. Something that is meant to be worn is clothing. Something that is not meant to be worn, but you wear anyway, becomes clothing.

Food is anything that is intended to be eaten, or is actually eaten. I would go as far as to say that matter that is alive or dead is food. (Not non-living matter, unless eaten.) Not all of it is food to us, but it's food to something out there. Including us.

[AtlanteanTroll]

Well, the saying is "No shirt, no shoes, no service" isn't it? So by that logic, clothing consists of shoes and a shirt.

[golentan]

Well, the saying is "No shirt, no shoes, no service" isn't it? So by that logic, clothing consists of shoes and a shirt.

Pants and underwear not required?

But nowhere in that phrase do they say a definition for clothing, only enumerating specific articles that must be worn for service. They don't even use the word clothing. I don't think that we can go by such signage for a definition.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

I don't think that we can go by such signage for a definition.

Mostly because then the definition of "Bridge" is "Out"

[Asthix]

Well, the saying is "No shirt, no shoes, no service" isn't it? So by that logic, clothing consists of shoes and a shirt.

Ah! But clothing does not necessitate a shirt!

[Gullara]

I think it depends on how thick the paint is. Water with dye in it is certainly makeup. But enough latex and you essentially have a custom-"tailored" bodysuit.

I don't know. There are undoubtedly prevailing cultural standards of modesty throughout the world. But I don't think that "clothes" are obliged to conceal the shape of the wearer's body as the OP's father evidently does. Except only in the crotchety sense, like continuing on that what they play on the radio nowadays isn't "music" either.

What the play on the radio mostly isn't music:smallwink: Unless its classic rock