So, I'm an unofficial college drop out (official Dr. E blog)

[Dr.Epic]

First, before I delve into the situation, above all else, no matter what is said by me or anyone else, I still have a PhD in Epicness.

spoiler'd for length:
So, as the title says, I'm not returning to school this semester: there was a problem with the paying of my tuition, something that should have been resolved many weeks ago. Anyway, with my tuition not paid, I'm stuck at home for the next few months (maybe longer if I don't hear back about this decision). Even when I do hear back about this decision, I still may not be going back. I may have to transfer or might just be a college drop out.

So, that's that: I'm stuck at home. Oh! And none of my friends at school know this. Yeah, I was hoping this decision would be resolved and it would be in my favor thus I wouldn't have to tell my friends about this embarrassing thing in my life. Yes, I was gambling on the fact this would never come up but it looks like I'm going to have to tell my friends. To be fair, there is a good chance this decision will be in my favor and I get to remain at my college (other people involved in this even told me so and they're professionals). Also, I been waiting for this decision for several weeks. It should have been made a long time ago.

That sort of the reason I signed a lease for an apartment. I couldn't even do the housing lottery for an on campus room with my tuition not paid. It was either sign a lease or have no place to live if the decision was confirmed and I got to return to school this spring. My mom even told me to do this and she's fine paying the lease even while I'm not at school. But as I said earlier, my roommates have no idea I'm not coming back. I haven't check my email/facebook and my phones been off so I can only imagine how angry they are I haven't made contact with them. Oh! And classes start Tuesday the 31st. I'm also the president of a club and haven't talked to the VP, treasurer, or secretary. Hopefully they can run the club (at least until I get back).

Yeah, I screwed up. I just, well it's been stressful for me. I almost rerolled (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide) a few months back. And the hot water was recently turned off at my home so I can either go without bathing or endure ice cold showers. I just didn't want to think about school until I heard back about this decision. I am going to call my one roommate today, maybe around noon (I'm not sure what is schedule is and I won't want to call him during a class, but is it cool to bug him at lunch). Not looking forward to that conversation. My other roommate, well, there a bit more of a...jerk. Well, more aggressive I guess. I freaking out about what sort of welcome I gonna get when I return for this mess (should I do actually return). I mean, everything I've done (through my own choices or that of others) is pretty low.

As for what I'm gonna do, I guess I could look for a job to help with the rent payments. I can't just sit around in my room (even though that's what I did in the summer).

So, I think that about sums everything up. You can give me advice or whatever. I just needed to blow off some steam and write this all out.

edit: I hope it's cool I make this a blog to just vent/report what I'm doing feeling for the next few months. I'm not sure if there's anything in the rules against that. I just don't feel like making a new thread and I am desperate to just let some of this stuff out.

[Ponderthought]

Welcome brother!

Mines actually sadder. I missed registration cause they moved it up a week and no one told me. Fail.

[Jallorn]

I put a little effort into trying to say something profound, but it wasn't working out, so instead I'll say that I've seen evidence that you are much loved here on these forums, and I hope that counts for something.

In short, life goes on man, through ups and downs. Stick it out, and life will eventually get better.

[Another_Poet]

Keep calm and carry on. (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ISSia8AAv_w/ScGWHgT8KCI/AAAAAAAAAjU/2gyoTD8PeWw/s400/Keep+Calm+and+Carry+On+(red).jpg)

I don't mean that flippantly, that's some of the best advice I've ever gotten.

Remember for starters that you don't have to tell your college friends why you aren't coming back. Save yourself some embarrassment and say you decided to take some time off from school. That is true, even if you decided it due to circumstances beyond your control.

Second, if you're not going to stay in the apartment with your roommates, start looking for a sublessee or new roommate to take your place. It is very kind of your mother to pay the lease for you, but very unfair to her. Don't continue that arrangement longer than you have to. (Or you could just move in anyway even if you're not in school - good way to stay socially connected it you like the college scene and if you can get a job there. You could even sit in on a class in a subject you like to stay sharp and meet profs if you intend to return next semester.)

Do you have a job? If so ask for extra hours and start to save up a pile of money. That could buy you a future semester (well, part of one) or it could just be nice to have in your back pocket for future emergencies - or for a bit of travel later in the year or next summer.

If you don't have a job, find one if possible.

Last, consider your options. Maybe there's something better than school you can do. Could you brand yourself, start a blog and start building a name for yourself? Do you have creative projects you could work on? Could you ask someone in a field you find interesting if they can get you an entry level professional position? Could you hitchhike across the country and start collecting interesting stories to turn into a book? If you're religious, could you meditate or go into a retreat for a few weeks to clear your mind and centre yourself?

It sucks that your plan for school had to be scrapped, especially at the last minute. But another way to look at it is that as a young 20something (I assume) you are in a unique position in that you have very few obligations shackling you down. One of the only major obligations you did have just got removed from your shoulders. So wrap up the apartment situation to totally free yourself from commitment, and dive into something new and maybe adventurous.

Dr. Epic, I believe you can live up to your name. Step one: land on your feet and running :) You'se can do it!!

ap

[Dr.Epic]

Remember for starters that you don't have to tell your college friends why you aren't coming back. Save yourself some embarrassment and say you decided to take some time off from school. That is true, even if you decided it due to circumstances beyond your control.

Good advice, and I'll try it but I don't see any way I can explain why I'm not coming back and waited until this point to tell them, especially with the responsibilities I've taken (a lease and club president).


Second, if you're not going to stay in the apartment with your roommates, start looking for a sublessee or new roommate to take your place. It is very kind of your mother to pay the lease for you, but very unfair to her. Don't continue that arrangement longer than you have to.

Yeah, my mom suggested that too. It's a good idea except (a) I think that will be difficult as it's right next to the school and I doubt too many people who don't go to the school will be interested, and (b) I doubt my roommates will be too thrilled with having some new person they might not be too familiar with living there.


(Or you could just move in anyway even if you're not in school - good way to stay socially connected it you like the college scene and if you can get a job there. You could even sit in on a class in a subject you like to stay sharp and meet profs if you intend to return next semester.)

Not too sure my mom will go for that. Assuming I don't get a job, she's gonna have to send my cash for food and other stuff. Also, I'd just like a little time to not worry about that right now: seeing people I've been in the closet too for this long. I need a few months.


Do you have a job? If so ask for extra hours and start to save up a pile of money. That could buy you a future semester (well, part of one) or it could just be nice to have in your back pocket for future emergencies - or for a bit of travel later in the year or next summer.

No job.


If you don't have a job, find one if possible.

I'll try but I also tried to get one during the summer and that didn't work out.


Last, consider your options. Maybe there's something better than school you can do. Could you brand yourself, start a blog and start building a name for yourself? Do you have creative projects you could work on? Could you ask someone in a field you find interesting if they can get you an entry level professional position? Could you hitchhike across the country and start collecting interesting stories to turn into a book? If you're religious, could you meditate or go into a retreat for a few weeks to clear your mind and centre yourself?

I don't think there's much I could do. There was an old art teacher of mine I asked if I could do an internship for. She said no because she wouldn't really have anything I could do. I could shoot her an email. My mom also suggested I try to find a class somewhere with transferable credits, though with money as it is, that might be difficult. I was going to start a comic soon. I going to try and have the first two issues done by January, but I'm not sure how far I'll get. As for hitchhiking, I know my mom would be flat out against that and I don't see myself getting too far with that.


Dr. Epic, I believe you can live up to your name. Step one: land on your feet and running :)

Please phrase all motivational phrases in the form of FMA lines. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3uxD1n4Byo)

[rakkoon]

Sorry to hear it.
Remember your one Phd when the going gets tough.

[Rawhide]

Sorry to hear it.
Remember your one Phd when the going gets tough.

I have a PhD in horribleness.

[Jimorian]

One thing to keep in mind in this day and age is that the students who go to college right out of high school and complete their degree in 4 years, THEY are the freaks! :smalltongue:

Seriously, it is far far far more normal to hit some kind of detour during your education than not. And once you're out in the real world of gainful employment, nobody cares one way or the other.

Still, good luck with the decision falling your way!

[Dr.Epic]

Okay, so I woke up about a half hour ago (my fault for staying up until 4 AM). Anyway, still haven't called my roommate. I was going to do it around noon, but since it was 1 I kind of decided not to in case he had class or something. Yeah, I know, dumb move. I'll call him around 5 or 6 at dinner. Still have no idea what I'll say or how that'll go down. Not looking forward to that conversation at all.:smalleek:

[KenderWizard]

Best of luck with the decision, it sounds like it would be easier if that went right and you didn't have to worry about all the other stuff.

If your friends get mad with you for bailing so close to the start of the year, just apologise. Tell them what you said here: that you know you could have handled it better, but stuff like this happens sometimes, and you're really sorry they got a bit messed up by it. Talk to them about getting in a different roommate, one of them might know someone who'd be willing to move in and pay the rent.

I think the best thing you could do is look for some kind of job. Talk to everyone you know who might have any kind of connection at all with any field you're interested in. If you can't get paid work in your field, consider doing volunteer work with a group that does something you think is admirable. My father started volunteering with a company that redistributes old computers to African schools, and, less than two years later, he has a paid position in the organisation. Not his original field, but worthwhile, rewarding, and ultimately got him a job. He was lucky, but you could be too, and a few months volunteer work will look good on your CV if nothing else. You can prove that when things went sour for you, you were motivated to help others and occupy yourself with something worth doing.

I really hope you get sorted with something you're happy with, one way or another!

[factotum]

Good advice, and I'll try it but I don't see any way I can explain why I'm not coming back and waited until this point to tell them, especially with the responsibilities I've taken (a lease and club president).


It seems to me you're not coming back through financial problems that are no fault of your own. Just tell them the truth--that you really thought it would get sorted out before the college year started, and you're as annoyed as they are that it didn't happen that way.

[GenericGuy]

Well now that your not going to school this semester I highly recommend getting a job. Don't waste this extra “free time” trust me you will regret it./speaking from experience

[Telonius]

If you do end up staying in the apartment, I'd strongly suggest talking to the college and seeing if you can Audit some courses. Most places will let you do this - basically, you attend the class times, take notes and read along, but you don't actually do any of the coursework. Obviously this won't count for credits, but you'll have a leg up when you do get back to your studies. Also, your brain will not rot in the meantime.

[Starscream]

One thing to keep in mind in this day and age is that the students who go to college right out of high school and complete their degree in 4 years, THEY are the freaks! :smalltongue:

Agreed. It took me six years to graduate, due to switching majors halfway though. And I was dirt poor the whole time, and went into debt up to my ears even though I worked the entire time. I'll spend the next decade paying it all off.

I probably would have been much better off if I'd taken a year or so off. I could have worked full time to build up my savings, researched more so I knew what I wanted to major in, and done the whole thing in four years with a lot less debt. But I was too stubborn and ended up paying the price.

Hang in there. You'll figure this out eventually.

[Dr.Epic]

So just called my roommate. Went a lot better than I expect. They weren't angry, more glad to finally hear from me. I explained what's going on to a certain degree: just that I wasn't coming back, but might be in the winter. Didn't go into a lot of detail. Anyway, that's taken care of. Now I have to email the VP of my club. That should also go well.

[KenderWizard]

I'm glad it went well! Hope the VP also takes it well, I'm sure people will rally round to make sure the club doesn't suffer.

[Dr.Epic]

Just sent an email to the VP explaining in as little detail as necessary I'm not returning to school and thus will not be able to fulfill my duties as president. Pending her schedule and when she is able to log onto her computer, I may or may not hear back (I do expect I will though).

[littlebottom]

well, atleast you didnt fail to get in by one mark and now rather than going to just resit an exam get the extra marks and go next year, im being told by my father that im worthless and useless and that ill never amount to anything, and if i go to uni next year ill be a failure. yep thanks dad.:smallsigh:

[Jimorian]

well, atleast you didnt fail to get in by one mark and now rather than going to just resit an exam get the extra marks and go next year, im being told by my father that im worthless and useless and that ill never amount to anything, and if i go to uni next year ill be a failure. yep thanks dad.:smallsigh:

The fact that you have and understand a contingency plan to work around that setback speaks a lot to your character and your ultimate ability to be successful in university. I'm sorry it has to be a stranger on the internet instead of your dad to say this, but you have every reason to be proud of your practical approach to this issue.

Life is a series of setbacks except for a extremely small portion of very lucky people. That's why I really dislike this myth that's been built up about the "perfect" approach to education, and that any faltering along the way is a sign of utter failure.

Like I said, nobody in the real world cares when you start college/university, how long it took to finish, and in a lot of cases, whether you even went or finished at all.

[TSGames]

So just called my roommate. Went a lot better than I expect. They weren't angry, more glad to finally hear from me. I explained what's going on to a certain degree: just that I wasn't coming back, but might be in the winter. Didn't go into a lot of detail. Anyway, that's taken care of. Now I have to email the VP of my club. That should also go well.

If they're really your friends, you will probably have to tell them at some point; very few individuals are capable of successfully maintaining a good lie, especially to their friends. In a few years you'll look back on this and.... maybe not laugh, but it will seem better regardless. Overcome, improve, and remember that this too shall pass.

[Dr.Epic]

Heard back from the VP: they're supportive and will step up to fill my role while I'm out. I did not respond to their message. I'm not sure what to say other than "Good luck," or something like that. I'll probably hit them back later when I can think of something better and more helpful (in terms of running the club) to say.

[MoleMage]

I think you really need to be more open about this kind of thing. At least with your friends. I mean, lots of college kids have financial problems. And if you can't trust your friends when things are going wrong, you're gonna run into some heavy depression. Trust me, I've been there. Insomnia, loss of appetite, making connections about what could get me killed and how much trouble it would cause for other people, general exhaustion. It sucks. I kept to myself, despite my many friends at college who were worried about me; I talked to my family, but I was over a thousand miles from them. In the end, I had to face my problems, first by seeing a doctor about potential depression and then by coming to terms with my friends. I almost lost a couple from the way I acted.

Long story short: don't think that talking to faceless people on the playground is enough. We're here in the sense that an advice column in a magazine is here. We can help you address your problems, but we can't be the solution. Your friends are either going to understand or they're not really that good of friends. Your colleagues in the club are already making accommodations. They'll understand too. But if you tell them nothing, they just worry about you.

Long story short shortened: Don't be afraid to talk to your friends. That path leads to sadness. Blah blah blah dark side.

[Dr.Epic]

I think you really need to be more open about this kind of thing. At least with your friends. I mean, lots of college kids have financial problems. And if you can't trust your friends when things are going wrong, you're gonna run into some heavy depression. Trust me, I've been there. Insomnia, loss of appetite, making connections about what could get me killed and how much trouble it would cause for other people, general exhaustion. It sucks. I kept to myself, despite my many friends at college who were worried about me; I talked to my family, but I was over a thousand miles from them. In the end, I had to face my problems, first by seeing a doctor about potential depression and then by coming to terms with my friends. I almost lost a couple from the way I acted.

Long story short: don't think that talking to faceless people on the playground is enough. We're here in the sense that an advice column in a magazine is here. We can help you address your problems, but we can't be the solution. Your friends are either going to understand or they're not really that good of friends. Your colleagues in the club are already making accommodations. They'll understand too. But if you tell them nothing, they just worry about you.

Long story short shortened: Don't be afraid to talk to your friends. That path leads to sadness. Blah blah blah dark side.

Yeah, but this is a rather personal issue and I have a hard time opening up to people I actually have to see (anonymous people don't bug me so much because you have no idea who I am). It was hard enough telling them the bare minimum over the phone or through an email. Doing it in person and going in the detail. I'd rather not feel like a victim or receive unwanted pity.

[Vorpalbob]

If you are going to end up staying away from school, there is one thing you must do to prevent insanity.

DO STUFF! Prior posters mentioned artistic endeavors or blogging. These are good. Any hobbies that don't require too much money will serve you as well.

As you frequent these forums, I presume you play D&D or somesuch? This is an easy way to guarantee yourself some social time. Learning (or devoting more time to) an instrument is a productive way to pass the time. I remember many an evening where my guitar has saved me from doing something rash like spending money on alcohol, and I made a quick jam track and sat there riffing the night away (I'm actually writing a song with that name :smallsmile:).

So yeah, unless you are an abstract painter, avoid insanity.

[Rockphed]

Welcome to the club of people who left college for less than stellar reasons. Myself I dropped out for 3 years because I thought my grades were that bad. There really weren't, I just was being pessimistic.

Now, I decidedly did need to take a while to rebuild my brain and study habits, but the time I spent was a bit excessive. It was especially excessive because now I have forgotten how to program JAVA, which is critical for one of the classes I am taking this semester.:smallfrown:

Don't be like me: get back to school ASAP. Even going only half time is way better than letting your brain rot.

[pendell]

Man, that stinks.

Reminds me a bit of Kipling's Poem, "If" (http://www.everypoet.com/archive/poetry/Rudyard_Kipling/kipling_if.htm)

Trust yourself when all men doubt you
yet make allowance for their doubting too

Meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;

Make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

Which can all be boiled down to: NEVER GIVE UP. We're all hoping and praying (well, those of us who pray) that you're able to return to university and succeed. But even if that doesn't happen, life goes on. Life is always kicking us humans in the shin. It's our job to take our lumps, get back up and do what needs doing, even if it means working as a truck driver or what not.

You may not yet be a college graduate, but you're still a human being. And as Lewis put it, that alone is enough pride to lift the head of the lowliest beggar.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[MelWhite]

Sounds like it was a tough situation, but you're epic for letting folks know rather than leaving them to guess about things. I agree with the others that you need to sit down and think "where do I want to be 5 years from now and what do i want to do" and then start planning on how to go there and do that!

[Dr.Epic]

If you are going to end up staying away from school, there is one thing you must do to prevent insanity.

DO STUFF! Prior posters mentioned artistic endeavors or blogging. These are good. Any hobbies that don't require too much money will serve you as well.

Blog? As in the type one sings-a-long to? Hmmm...:smallamused: Anyway, I guess I'll just use this thread. I'm not sure if anyone would read it otherwise and these forums get a ton of attention. Not to mention people can post back with helpful advise.

As for what I'm going to do...

spoiler'd for length
Still not sure. I'll talk to my mom in the next few days about getting a job. hopefully I can find one. As for socializing, there's no one around. I haven't talked to any of my friends from college in a almost a week (and that was just the one phone call). I saw a wall posting from the former president of that club on my Facebook page. I think, even though he graduated, he still lives in the city my college is in. He and I have the same major. I kind of looked up to him for that (though I'd never tell him that). As for the wall post, it didn't say much. I replied with hey. I'm not sure if he knows about my hiatus. Other than my two roommates and VP, I'm not sure if anyone knows. I assume they've told people or someone's asked why I'm not there.

As for High School friends, it's sort of complicated. I haven't seen them in over a year. They don't exactly live close to me. One friend who lives only 30 minutes away I recently found their screen name. I was thinking of IM them seeing as how they appear to always be online. They were pretty awesome. They always seemed interested in my craft projects. Even their friends I only met once seemed to like them. Maybe I could sell some stuff to them (that's how I made money in High School and they were interested in buying stuff). Maybe that could serve as a job, though I'm not sure how much cash I can make.

As for hobbies, I was supposed to start a comic, but I haven't been feeling up to it. I got some of the storyboards done, but I don't have the energy to do a full color possibly over 30 page comic of that magnitude right now. Maybe I'll do a more improved, slapdash one to occupy time. If any of you want to send in art request I have plenty of time. I'm mostly haunting the arts and craft section for such posts. I'm supposed to be working on an avatar request.

The only upside to this whole thing I can see so far is that I have access to TV and can catch new episodes of my favorite shows. It's not really that much, but there will be new seasons for a few of them:

South Park
Simpsosns
Ugly Americans
Venture Bros.
Futurama 100 episode I would have missed.

[Jokasti]

Rockphed: For me, Java is like riding a bike. I did a lot of it last year but not much this past summer, but just opened DrJava and started coding. I think if you try to remember some of the simpler things like System.out.println and loops you will find it easier to remember the harder stuff.
DrEpic: Comics are always awesome. If you only want to write, or draw, or color, you could probably find a couple people over in Arts and Crafts/Fan Comics to help you with that. Godspeed.

[Lord Loss]

I find writing a comic is a brilliant way to

A) pass time (if it's okay)
B) make a name for yourself online (if it's pretty good)
C) make money (if it's amazing and a company likes it)

A friend and i are making a comic soon (It's about an asylum in which a horrible creature feeds off of people's fears and emulates them) It's more complicated than that, but that's the concept in a nutshell.

I have so many subplots and twists and characters ready, it's almost completely fleshed out... except the title (we've been messing around with Phobia and Bogeyman and Paranoia, but we can't find anything that we really like)

[olelia]

One thing to keep in mind in this day and age is that the students who go to college right out of high school and complete their degree in 4 years, THEY are the freaks! :smalltongue:


Hey...just because I had my bachelor's before I could legally drink...wait..not helping...

Regardless of the fact, DON'T PANIC. Almost immediately into my associates I almost had to drop out because I couldn't get a student loan due to parents having bad credit and me having none. Even though it probably sounds cliche things will work out as long as you yourself don't give up.

[Dr.Epic]

DrEpic: Comics are always awesome. If you only want to write, or draw, or color, you could probably find a couple people over in Arts and Crafts/Fan Comics to help you with that. Godspeed.

Nah, I'm just going to do all the artwork myself. Should be demanding.


I find writing a comic is a brilliant way to

A) pass time (if it's okay)
B) make a name for yourself online (if it's pretty good)
C) make money (if it's amazing and a company likes it)

Cool, but I'm not even sure I can finish it in the next few months. I just got done doing storyboards and it's 40 pages. It's longer than I expected. I'll start working on the penciling soon.

I also got two ideas for short stories last night while dreaming. I might try and type them up later.

[Dr.Epic]

So, let's see. I submitted some work to be in a juried show. Assuming they're selected and sell I should make some money. I should find out about that soon. I'm also doing some volunteer work tomorrow (today, Monday). That'll at least give me something to do. My job situation: still nothing. I put in another application today. I'm optimistic about that. Although my lack of job experience may be an issue. At least the place I applied to was hiring. I might hear back from them in a few days or I could call them if I don't hear them.

[Starbuck_II]

Don't worry Dr. Epic.
We all have speed bumps in college years.
I didn't have housing, but was still registered (although due to a mistake I had to call up all my loan people to inform them I'm still in school. If you don't they make you pay regardless.).

Finally after a month and 1/2 I got housing. Terrible shower, but better than nothing.

But yeah, you sometimes need expereince to get experience: sucky part of trying to get a job.