OotS-style utility spells

[Crisis21]

There have been a few spells mentioned in the comic that are not core spells, possibly not even real spells, and also have effectively no application that would be useful in combat (with the possible exception of 'Dispel Clothes' (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0026.html))

Things that would still have highly sought after applications in everyday life, such as 'Protection from Negativity' (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0260.html) and the ever popular 'Summon Coffee VII (Maximized)' (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0317.html) (and its obvious derivatives, Summon Coffee I-VI).

The question: If you could make up any spell to help you out in your daily life, but is not meant to ever be used for combat, what would it be?

Me, I'd go for a nice 'Hot Shower' grooming spell to clean myself up quick in the mornings.

[Kish]

Isn't that one of the functions of Prestidigitation? Admittedly, not hot, but plenty cleansing.

Probably Locate Object, but that's an actual spell. :smalltongue:

[Ancalagon]

Not really a utility-spell... but if I could pick one, only one spell... I'd go for "heal".

As a utilitly spell I'd pick: "Bestow alertness & motivation". Just be awake and be motivated to finish the things you have to do, then quickly go on to the cool stuff of life.

[Dr.Epic]

Summon Girlfriend: a girlfriend appears for 1 day per spell level. After which point she breaks up with you. You can at any point though dismiss her by breaking up. The hotness of the girl is 1d10 out of 10.

[Crisis21]

Summon Girlfriend: a girlfriend appears for 1 day per spell level. After which point she breaks up with you. You can at any point though dismiss her by breaking up. The hotness of the girl is 1d10 out of 10.
I have to expand on this now. The spell(s) would of course be reversible, the reverse being Summon Boyfriend (so the ladies don't feel left out).

Summon Girlfriend II: 2 days per spell level, hotness is 1d8+2 out of 10. 50% chance for the caster to get girlfriend of a specified race. 5% chance of summoned Girlfriend being emotionally compatible, and thus willing to enter a long-term relationship after spell-effect wears off.

Summon Girlfriend III: 3 days per spell level, hotness is 1d6+4 out of 10. 75% chance for the caster to get girlfriend of a specified race. 10% chance of summoned Girlfriend being emotionally compatible, and thus willing to enter a long-term relationship after spell-effect wears off.

Summon Girlfriend IV: 5 days per spell level, hotness is 1d4+6 out of 10. 95% chance for the caster to get girlfriend of a specified race. 25% chance of summoned Girlfriend being emotionally compatible, and thus willing to enter a long-term relationship after spell-effect wears off.

Summon Girlfriend V would be an Epic level spell.

Speaking of the ladies, a spell I think any girl getting ready for a date would want: 'Cosmetics' - Works like Prestidigitation, but is for purely cosmetic purposes. Allows the caster to do things like style and color their hair any way they want, perform light skin and body care, and apply various cosmetics with great precision. Obviously a multiple discipline spell.

[Dr.Epic]

Summon Girlfriend V would be an Epic level spell.

So, marriage?

The spell should also have a cost component (dates, anniversaries, etc).

[DragonOfUndeath]

Curse of Marriage I: the enemy of your choice becomes drunk and wakes up next to a woman. 2 successful Fortitude Saves (DC15) before 2 unsuccessful to avoid getting drunk. the woman has a a hotness rating of 1D6-2 and nags A LOT.
Curse Of Marriage II: see above except for the following: 3 successful Fortitude saves before 2 unsuccessful (DC20) and the woman has a hotness rating of 1D6-3
Curse Of Marriage III: see first except for the following: Fortitude saves are DC25 and the woman's hotness rating is 1D4-2

Speak Legalese: perfectly understand what lawyers are saying (even if they are talking in a language you don't understand)

Greater Mark Of Justice: if you don't know I'm not explaining it

[Maximum Zersk]

And adding to 'Speak Legalese'.

Speak Corporatese: Understand what the hell your boss is saying, even if he doesn't know.

[DragonOfUndeath]

Speak Teacher/Schoolkids: understand everyone on the other side of the desk :smallbiggrin:
because someone had to say it! :smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:

Power Word Gobbledygook: the target now speaks a language no-one knows and doesn't understand what anyone else is saying either. this spell acts as if under Permanency

[shadowkiller]

Power Word Gobbledygook: the target now speaks a language no-one knows and doesn't understand what anyone else is saying either. this spell acts as if under Permanency

Would they be fun little cryptograms?

A spell I would like is a telepathically linked clone/construct/something that can go to class for me but all the knowledge gets jammed into my head through the link.

[Detrinex]

Unstoppable Lie: Mutter this spell beforehand, and for every level/year in your character/self, you get one round of bluffing. A lie told during the duration of the spell is believable to anybody and everybody, even after the spell has ended. One could say you did your homework, or paid your taxes, and the teacher or the IRS would believe it (not immune to Discern Lies)

Drowsiness: Make yourself instantly tired, and quadruples your chances of falling asleep. If you don't fall asleep in 1 minute per caster level, the spell effects wear off and you bounce back to your earlier fatigue.

Cold Splash: Fire off a bucket of cold water, without a bucket. Good for pranking people to wake up, or just to annoy them.

Summon Money: Requires a spell component of some coin or bill. Counterfeit bills and coins don't work. You can summon up to ten more coins or bills per casting.

Telekinetic Slap: Slap the air and concentrate on your target by unambiguously naming something about them. This slaps their face with a speed depending on how fast you wish to slap them.

Think: Bard spell. Concentrate on something you wish to consider.

[DragonOfUndeath]

@Shadow killer: read Skulduggery Pleasant 2. he enchants a chick's mirror so it can leave the mirror and is an emotionless copy of her with all her memories etc. when it goes back into the mirror the chick touches the mirror and the days memories flow into her

Self-Destruct Rune: 5 minutes after it is touched it explodes leaving behind a crater (think nuke).

im have started a thread based on this in the Roleplaying Games Forum here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=9293600#post9293600)

[Crisis21]

So, marriage?

The spell should also have a cost component (dates, anniversaries, etc).

The cost you listed is to make the effect 'permanent'. :smalltongue: The actual material components for the Summon Girlfriend spells are flowers and chocolates, to be used as gifts of course (higher levels of the spell require better quality flowers and chocolates)

The Epic level Summon Girlfriend V would bring you a guaranteed hot (1d3+7 hotness) girlfriend, almost certainly of the race you specified, and with an even chance of being romantically compatible in the long term.


Unstoppable Lie: Mutter this spell beforehand, and for every level/year in your character/self, you get one round of bluffing. A lie told during the duration of the spell is believable to anybody and everybody, even after the spell has ended. One could say you did your homework, or paid your taxes, and the teacher or the IRS would believe it (not immune to Discern Lies)
Opposite would be 'Gotcha Question'. Verbal component only, cannot work as a silent spell, Caster asks a question of a person who they suspect is lying to try and expose the lie. If the target is telling the truth, or at least believes themselves to be telling the truth, there is no effect. If the target is lying and knows it, then they must make an immediate Bluff check with the caster's intelligence modifier added to the normal difficulty. Failure means they are caught, and success by a difference of less than five means that while they can come up with a plausible story, they were hesitant or fumbled for a few seconds and possibly raised suspicions.

'Improved Gotcha Question' doubles the addition to the difficulty check.




im have started a thread based on this in the Roleplaying Games Forum here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=9293600#post9293600)
Wow. I'm flattered.:smallredface:

[Prowl]

So, marriage?

The spell should also have a cost component (dates, anniversaries, etc).


That spell has a component cost like no other

[Ancalagon]

That spell has a component cost like no other

Your soul? ;)

[Gift Jeraff]

Create Iced Tea
Spell Components: A pinch of iced tea mix
Creates 1d6 cups of iced tea (with flavour of the caster's choice) per caster level.

Also, Commune, Plane Shift, and other spells that could help to settle many of our world's greatest questions.

[Maxios]

Hmmm...
How about make breakfest, put clothes on, and get a million dollars VIII

[Souhiro]

Discern Spoilers:
Duration: 1 minute/Level
Component: Original Source Material

The caster use the Original Source Material from a series, film, book, whatever-is-it, and whenever someone is about to spoil it, the caster is warned an instant before the act is commited, givin him enough time to stop the spoiler, cover his/her ears, put a gag to the spoiler, or just wear a diskman with death metal (The Spells provide said diskman. The music on it is copyleft, so RIAA won't be able to ban the spell)


Avoid Spoilers:
Duration: 1 day/Level
Component: None, having seen Gurren Lagann or another show/film/movie with determinator protagonists

The caster gains a +20 to his/her Will Save to avoid temptation and read Spoilers.




Resolve Crisis:
Duration: Permanent:

The caster send ALL the inept leaders over the world into a volcano, and resolves any economical crisis what is running.
The alignment of this spell is considered GOOD.




Avoid Driving fines
Duration: Permanent

The caster's vehicle can run past the speed of the light. Police officers, Traffic police, Police cops, and even FBI won't be able to put a fine on him. Ever.




Dispel Overweight:

Exactly What It Says On The Tin.




Summon Doraemon:

Summons a robotic cat from the future which a really BIG collection of tools and toys in it's pocket.




Hot Polymorph:

Like Polymorph or Baleful Polymorph, but the objetive remains of his original species and race, but changes his/her appearance, gaining 1D4+6 in hotness.




Win The Game:

You have just won The Game.
Now, just do something else, for Chuck's sake.




Summon Chuck Norris:

Chuck is called to your presence.
Being called don't compels him to go, however.
And if he decides to go and see you, he may be in a very bad mood. So do at your risk. We have warned you




Bind Chuck Norris:

Just kidding, this spell don't exist.




And one of the greatest spells ever!

Creates UNDO Button:

See UNDO button from MS-Word manual.

[Maximum Zersk]

Solve P=NP
Components: 1 Computer

Divides by Zero.

[Dark Faun]

Prevent Knowledge:
1 hour/level
Component: Blinders

The caster will be warned when they encounter an unknown term of which definition they really don't want to know.

Remove Image: What you have seen. You can unsee it.

And two inspired from Souhiro: :smalltongue:

Discern Meme: Explains to the caster 1 meme in one post for every spell level. (Might not work if the caster's under Prevent Knowledge.)

Avoid Meme: Destroys permanently the caster's internet connection.

[Belsirk]

White Noise
Create noise on 1d12 + 1/3 casterlvl on the Mhz/Ghz frequency... for give a "Good time" to all my neighbors who use wireless :smallamused:

Wall of Air
Anything for avoid getting a special shower when trying to not dive on your own street (And avoid the cars )

[Crisis21]

Wall of Air
Anything for avoid getting a special shower when trying to not dive on your own street (And avoid the cars )
This is for when cars run through puddles right next to the sidewalk, correct? I hate that.

Hot Plate - Turns any metal object (the object should still be an appropriate shape to cook with) into a heated cooking surface. The metal needs to be thick enough to avoid melting (actually did this by accident once by forgetting to put water in a thin metal pot when making poached eggs). Making it a specific temperature requires a Knowledge (Cooking) skill check.

[Acero]

Summon Churro

1 foot/ caster level

That is all

[dps]

Enlarge Boobs. Enlarges breasts by one cup size per level, without any loss of sensitivity or pliancy.

[Souhiro]

Avoid Cliffhangers:

If a series, comics, strips... whatever, is set to end a chapter with a cliffhanger, you can get the next chapter, saving you from heart arrests and Big "Nooooo"es



Discern Trap:

An image is better than a thousand words:
http://img92.imageshack.us/i/bridgetil1.jpg/

[DragonOfUndeath]

Summon Ipod: Summon a radio or ipod or other related music devices to your hand
its not a OOTS spell but...:smallbiggrin:

[cd4]

Improve Connection: For 1 hour/level your internet connection has no lag.

[Darth Hunterix]

Find x
Automatically resolves any mathematic equation.

Summon Lavatory
Duration: 8h.
Summons fully sevriceable lavatory right in front of the caster.

Power Word: F#(5
Makes you feel a whole lot of better.

[Crisis21]

Power Word: Burp - Okay, the utility aspect of the spell may be somewhat lacking, but it would be awesome nonetheless.

Edit: Power Word: Fire - The spell you hope your boss never casts on you.

[Souhiro]

Pass that d@|\/|n test
The user automatically pass any test his institute, university, or whatever try to use on her.
Component: A large ham with a label "For my teachers" females can use Sexy Clothes and Sexy MakeUp instead of the large ham.


Summon Sexy Clothes and Sexy MakeUp
Raises target's charisma and hotness in 1D10 during 1 hour if female.
Decreases target's charisma in 6+1D4 until everybody forgets that image if target is a male.
Can made permanent if you upload a photo of the male user in facebook.



Sorry for my awful grammar, I'm an evil spaniard from the vile Spain.

[super dark33]

banish/bolster vermins

[Souhiro]

Ow... One of the greatest!


Gold for Nothing
School Conjuration [creation]; Level Wiz/Soc :5
Casting Time 1 standard action
Components V, S
Range close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Duration Permanent
Saving Throw none; Spell Resistance no
-

Allows the caster to create a TON of gold, from nothing.
The TON of gold can be used as a weapon, dropping it on somebody, or for selling purposes.

[littlekKID]

Waker: Ignore any penalties from lack of sleep

[WreckedElf]

Extend Day: Adds 1d6 hours to the current day (increases to 2d6 hours at 5th level, and additional 1d6 for every 5 levels after to a maximum of 4d6 hours at 20th level). For those days you wish would never end.

Hasten Day: Caster skips the next 1d6 hours of the current day (increases to 2d6 hours at 5th level, and additional 1d6 for every 5 levels after to a maximum of 4d6 hours at 20th level). For those days you wish would just be over with already.

Reset Day: Sends caster back in time to 12:01 a.m. of the current day.

Pause I: The whole world is paused, Caster may continue to think and move freely, but may not interact with paused world. Duration 1d6 minutes + 1 for each caster level.

Pause II: like Pause, but duration is 1d6 hours + 1 for each caster level.

Pause III: like Pause, but duration is 1d6 days + 1 for each caster level.

Summon Taco: Summons a small tasty fresh taco.

Summon Taco II: Summons 2 small tasty fresh tacos.

Summon Taco Bell: Summons a small Taco themed resteraunt wherein the conjured employees all treat the caster as a proprietary customer and thus give the caster free tacos and drinks.

Reality Shift: Like plane shift, but instead of going to a different plane, caster may enter into a different reality altogether. For example, Reality Shift: Order of the Stick, would allow caster to enter into the universe of a DnD based webcomic.

Summon Invisible Hover Car: Summons an invisiblve hover car. Car is visible to the caster at all times, and is visible to anyone inside the hover car. Anything inside the hovercar, is treated as invisible to anyone outside the hover car. Hover car travels at speeds of up to 200mph, and at altitudes of up to 2000 feet. Caster is automatically considered proficient at piloting the hover car. Summon duration is 24 hours per caster level.

Instant Vacation: Spell teleports caster to the elemental plane of hot springs and spa resorts. The plane consists of hot springs, hot tubs, luxury hotel suites and room service. The natives of this plane consist mostly of nymphs and celestial beings whose favorite passtime is tending to the visitors.



Yeah, for regular life utility spells I wish I had, those are all I can think of at the moment. Almost any one of them could be a life saver really. But if I had to choose only one of them, I would be torn between choosing Summon Invisible Hover Car or Summon Taco...

[Zelthax]

Plain and simple.

Dismiss Procrastination.

Do you have any idea how my GPA would go up? I could be done with this college thing when I'm supposed to be done.




(As a side note, Music/Math double majors are a bad idea.)

[Vizzerdrix]

Blood Stone: You cause a small rock to become an irresistible food supply for every flea and tick in a 100ft radius for a day. Fleas and ticks will stop at nothing to get to it, and they can feed off it until the spell ends. (so you can either throw the rock into some warm soapy water, or slip it into someones pocket)

[King of Nowhere]

Prestidigitechnology

Can perform for an hour minor tricks with electrical and electronical devices, including (but not limited to)
- making a device who run out of battery work as if it had a full battery
- doubling the speed on an internet connection
- making a mobile phone without service being able to make calls anyway
- making a bugged/virused pc work properly (don't remove the bugs/viruses, just ignore the effects for the spell duration)



Promemoria
Duration: one day per caster level

There are two versions of this spell:
1) remind event: you remind a future event of your choice you don't want to forget, like a recurrence, or a meeting, or a class test, or something you must do. For the spell's duration, you cannot forget the event. You will also remember details connected to said occurrence, like how to travel in the place of the event, or who is going to present at it.
In the last day of the spell, the spell will also reminds you to refresh it, least you could forget the event.
Automatically ends after the event occurred
2) Personal agenda: for all the spell's duration, everytime you are going to forget about something you had to do (like the time of your lessons, or going shopping, or making some task you wanted to perform), make an INT check (CD 10). If you succeed, you remember it instead.