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Doomboy911
2010-09-05, 07:14 AM
Alright I thought this up as a instant kill.

A bottle of acid with small instructions written on them upon closer examination you see that it's runes that explode when read. The instructions are small enough that one would have to hold it up to their face.
You can see where this is going.

{{Title Changed}}

Beorn080
2010-09-05, 07:18 AM
That would just be 6d6 force damage plus 1 point of acid damage. At least in 3.5.

Better would be a note wrapped around a pellet of holy water made by Dust of Dryness. The note would have explosive runes on it, and it would pretty much kill and intelligent undead.

freebiewitz
2010-09-05, 07:20 AM
Theres a cursed item can't remember what it's called but basically it LOOKS like a dust of appearance so when the PC's use it they sprinkle it around themselves and get stunned for.... I think it was 1d4 rounds?

The funny thing? The cursed item has a price so you can buy a million of them! Just use it as a grenade! Instant stun lock!

Edit: Why there is a NPC selling these or how the PC figures that they are cursed are well.... is weird.

Asheram
2010-09-05, 07:40 AM
Theres a cursed item can't remember what it's called but basically it LOOKS like a dust of appearance so when the PC's use it they sprinkle it around themselves and get stunned for.... I think it was 1d4 rounds?

The funny thing? The cursed item has a price so you can buy a million of them! Just use it as a grenade! Instant stun lock!

Edit: Why there is a NPC selling these or how the PC figures that they are cursed are well.... is weird.

Dust of choking and sneezing? or whatever it's called. Use that and play a warforged or something else that doesn't need to breathe... Hehehehe.
Use that in one encounter and you'll meet constructs, undeads and oozes for the rest of the session.

oxybe
2010-09-05, 09:30 AM
step 1 ) obtain a bottle of sovereign glue

step 2 ) label it as "dwarven beard shampoo"

step 3 ) ...

step 4) profit (emotionally)!

freebiewitz
2010-09-05, 09:42 AM
step 1 ) obtain a bottle of sovereign glue

step 2 ) label it as "dwarven beard shampoo"

step 3 ) ...

step 4) profit (emotionally)!

Dwarven beard shampoo? You mean beer right?

oxybe
2010-09-05, 09:51 AM
Dwarven beard shampoo? You mean beer right?

i figure we let the dwarves's imaginations run wild.

i mean, if they think it's beer and try to drink it, bonus points for you!

Kobold-Bard
2010-09-05, 12:22 PM
Invisible Grease spell at the top of the stairs.

As the DM don't tell the party that you're using the Book of Erotic Fantasy. Lol as people keep slapping them for groping them/ they randomly become aroused by a table etc.

Snake-Aes
2010-09-05, 12:27 PM
Invisible Grease spell at the top of the stairs.

As the DM don't tell the party that you're using the Book of Erotic Fantasy. Lol as people keep slapping them for groping them/ they randomly become aroused by a table etc.

You don't need the BoEF for that...

Tyndmyr
2010-09-05, 12:27 PM
As the DM don't tell the party that you're using the Book of Erotic Fantasy. Lol as ...they randomly become aroused by a table etc.

I'm sorry sir, but despite what the title may lead you to believe, nothing in that book is actually erotic.

Kobold-Bard
2010-09-05, 12:36 PM
I'm sorry sir, but despite what the title may lead you to believe, nothing in that book is actually erotic.

Eh? I'm sure there was a spell that made the target attracted to inanimate objects. Maybe I'm misremembering.

darkpuppy
2010-09-05, 02:10 PM
I think Tyndymyr was pointing out that there is not very much, if anything, in the BoEF that was genuinely "erotic", instead of simply childish "hur hur, titties" or just plain dumb. I saw that book, flipped through it, and immediately put it down, wincing. Cheesecake and sex-alignments doth not a Tome of Erotic Fantasy make... there's a heckuva lot more to eroticism than just sex.

Kobold-Bard
2010-09-05, 02:12 PM
I think Tyndymyr was pointing out that there is not very much, if anything, in the BoEF that was genuinely "erotic", instead of simply childish "hur hur, titties" or just plain dumb. I saw that book, flipped through it, and immediately put it down, wincing. Cheesecake and sex-alignments doth not a Tome of Erotic Fantasy make... there's a heckuva lot more to eroticism than just sex.

While that is true, I don't play D&D for eroticism. I play it because using Alter Breasts on the BBEG while they're monologuing (and the DMs face thereafter) bring me immense amusement.

RebelRogue
2010-09-05, 02:25 PM
I think Tyndymyr was pointing out that there is not very much, if anything, in the BoEF that was genuinely "erotic", instead of simply childish "hur hur, titties" or just plain dumb. I saw that book, flipped through it, and immediately put it down, wincing. Cheesecake and sex-alignments doth not a Tome of Erotic Fantasy make... there's a heckuva lot more to eroticism than just sex.
Really? I though it was surprisingly sober (considering how bad it could easily have been), if somewhat useless.

The Glyphstone
2010-09-05, 03:05 PM
Really? I though it was surprisingly sober (considering how bad it could easily have been), if somewhat useless.

Indeed. If you actually give it a thorough read-through (and don't judge it by its gawd-awful 'artwork', it's a far more mature approach than you'd expect...indeed, probably the most mature approach I've ever seen in a published sourcebook on the topic. It also lays claim to the funniest line I've ever read in a gaming book in my life.

It's main problem is that the material comes in three flavors: 1) Well-written and mature; 2) Something anyone would want to use in a game; 3) Balanced. These three categories never overlap.

FMArthur
2010-09-05, 03:16 PM
Indeed. If you actually give it a thorough read-through (and don't judge it by its gawd-awful 'artwork', it's a far more mature approach than you'd expect...indeed, probably the most mature approach I've ever seen in a published sourcebook on the topic. It also lays claim to the funniest line I've ever read in a gaming book in my life.

It's main problem is that the material comes in three flavors: 1) Well-written and mature; 2) Something anyone would want to use in a game; 3) Balanced. These three categories never overlap.

Okay, I'm not even going to ask a question so obviously fished-for. Either tell us what it is or don't mention it. :smalltongue:

The Glyphstone
2010-09-05, 04:22 PM
Love Life of an Ooze: One ooze. Idiot hits ooze. Two oozes.


:smallbiggrin:

Heliomance
2010-09-05, 04:43 PM
Personally, I prefer Nymphology: The Book of Blue Magic. With such spells as Protection from Mingers and Prismatic Chastity Belt, and the Elemental Plane of Lust, it's a clearly superior production.

Kobold-Bard
2010-09-05, 04:45 PM
Personally, I prefer Nymphology: The Book of Blue Magic. With such spells as Protection from Mingers and Prismatic Chastity Belt, and the Elemental Plane of Lust, it's a clearly superior production.

........There are no words to describe the pain that phrase caused my brain.

The Glyphstone
2010-09-05, 04:47 PM
Personally, I prefer Nymphology: The Book of Blue Magic. With such spells as Protection from Mingers and Prismatic Chastity Belt, and the Elemental Plane of Lust, it's a clearly superior production.

It may be more useful, but stuff like Nymphology and the GUCK are the wild partying cousins to the BoEF's quiet accountant. They're more fun and more useful, but also significantly less mature, and so the odd-one-out of the trio gets tarnished with the same brush because of their shared subject matter.



........There are no words to describe the pain that phrase caused my brain.


Wait, and Prismatic Chastity Belt doesn't hurt your brain? A prismatic wall, in order, does:
1) High-temperature burns
2) Corrosive acid
3) Electric shocks
4) Poison
5) Petrification
6) Insanity
7) Involuntary teleportation to another plane

That pattern of effects...localized the way I suspect the spell works...:smalleek::smalleek::smalleek:

The Rabbler
2010-09-05, 04:49 PM
how did the thread get derailed this badly?

JoshuaZ
2010-09-05, 04:50 PM
It's main problem is that the material comes in three flavors: 1) Well-written and mature; 2) Something anyone would want to use in a game; 3) Balanced. These three categories never overlap.

It seems that pairs overlap. The problem is that the intersection of all three is null.


Personally, I prefer Nymphology: The Book of Blue Magic. With such spells as Protection from Mingers and Prismatic Chastity Belt, and the Elemental Plane of Lust, it's a clearly superior production.

The Elemental Plane of Lust if it had been done well could have been actually useful. Nymphology suffers from three problems 1) They apparently thought that if they were funny they didn't need to bother with balance (or heck even bothering giving some mechanics actual stats) 2) They thought they were much funnier than they actually were 3) They had the maturity of a bunch of fourteen yearolds.

RebelRogue
2010-09-05, 08:05 PM
To me, the most disturbing consequence of the BoEF was that because there is now a Perform(Sexual) skill, it's possible to make a bard that uses the skill to power his or her bardic music class features. I'm not really sure I want to know what actually happens when such a character uses, say, Inspire Courage on allies! :smalleek:

Crasical
2010-09-05, 08:24 PM
To me, the most disturbing consequence of the BoEF was that because there is now a Perform(Sexual) skill, it's possible to make a bard that uses the skill to power his or her bardic music class features. I'm not really sure I want to know what actually happens when such a character uses, say, Inspire Courage on allies! :smalleek:

... *checks*

So, using the BoEF, the best lovers in the world are Rogues, Monks, and Bards, since they have Perform as a class skill?

Zhalath
2010-09-05, 08:46 PM
i figure we let the dwarves's imaginations run wild.

i mean, if they think it's beer and try to drink it, bonus points for you!

I thought dwarves used beer as shampoo already.

How about you do the patsy trick with a poison, except have the final poison be a powerful contact poison with special instructions.
READ ALL INSTRUCTIONS
1. Open bottle.
2. Drink contents
3. Don't read about explosive runes.

Yorrin
2010-09-05, 09:03 PM
...
6) Insanity
...localized the way I suspect the spell works...

Wait... how would that even work?

Kris Strife
2010-09-05, 09:17 PM
... *checks*

So, using the BoEF, the best lovers in the world are Rogues, Monks, and Bards, since they have Perform as a class skill?

So... BoEF makes Monks good at something? :smallconfused::smallbiggrin:

arguskos
2010-09-05, 09:17 PM
So... BoEF makes Monks good at something? :smallconfused::smallbiggrin:
Perform is Cha based, the Monk's one true dump stat. Sorry pal. :smalltongue:

Kris Strife
2010-09-05, 09:20 PM
Perform is Cha based, the Monk's one true dump stat. Sorry pal. :smalltongue:

Multiclass Monk/Sorcerer, grab the feat that lets them stack for certain things. I think that makes Monk abilities run off Cha.

Temotei
2010-09-05, 09:25 PM
Multiclass Monk/Sorcerer, grab the feat that lets them stack for certain things. I think that makes Monk abilities run off Cha.

That's multiclassing with a tier 2 class. I think you've broken out of the realm of the monk. :smallamused:

Zaydos
2010-09-05, 09:39 PM
This thread 1) scares and horrifies me; 2) makes me want to play/run a campaign that should never be; 3) makes me want to say that while I found the Book of Blue Magic funnier in several portions I found the Book of Erotic Fantasy to be of superior quality when it wasn't taking itself too seriously; 4) Prismatic Chastity Belt :smalleek:

Zhalath
2010-09-05, 09:43 PM
Wait... how would that even work?

It drives your equipment insane. *wink wink*

"Attacks closest target." *shudder*

The Rabbler
2010-09-06, 01:29 PM
That's multiclassing with a tier 2 class. I think you've broken out of the realm of the monk. :smallamused:

are a few memorized cantrips and a level 1 spell really going to change the tier rating for a monk?

Zaydos
2010-09-06, 01:48 PM
are a few memorized cantrips and a level 1 spell really going to change the tier rating for a monk?

Hey Mage Armor is useful, you always need protection :smallwink:

ToySoldierCPlus
2010-09-06, 02:13 PM
Hey Mage Armor is useful, you always need protection :smallwink:

So is Grease, there's no situation that can't be improved by thorough lubrication of the... *ahem* "battlefield."

Sindri
2010-09-06, 03:19 PM
I think this thread took a turn somewhere...

Ranielle
2010-09-06, 03:38 PM
.. a turn for the better.

Zaydos
2010-09-06, 03:46 PM
Well a turn for something at least.

Crasical
2010-09-06, 04:23 PM
Quick, someone compile a list of base classes with Perform as a class skill. I've already been through the SRD and the Complete Arcane/Divine/Warrior/Psionic and didn't find any.

Zaydos
2010-09-06, 04:28 PM
Factotum (Dungeonscape) also Dragon Magazine Compendium brings us Battle Dancer and Savant.

Oriental Adventures Samurai.

VirOath
2010-09-06, 04:39 PM
Read the fine print under Perform(Sexual), it's a special skill that is a class skill to everyone. Even peasants. Even Beholders.

BladeofOblivion
2010-09-06, 04:40 PM
Even Beholders.

*Shudder*

BladeofOblivion has timed out. And Died of Brain Bleach Overdose.

Vorpalbob
2010-09-06, 04:44 PM
I swear, as I was reading through this thread, just as it started to derail, my laptop shuffled to one of the songs from my funk cd's. You know the kind :smallwink:. I think my computer is sentient...

Zaydos
2010-09-06, 04:44 PM
But... but... beholders are genderless and reproduce by budding.

LordShotGun
2010-09-06, 04:50 PM
But... but... beholders are genderless and reproduce by budding.

Sexy budding...:smallbiggrin:

Zaydos
2010-09-06, 04:52 PM
Sexy budding...:smallbiggrin:

I'll just stick with my illithids, true hermaphrodites that reproduce with themselves.

Crasical
2010-09-06, 05:02 PM
Read the fine print under Perform(Sexual), it's a special skill that is a class skill to everyone. Even peasants. Even Beholders.

....


....

.... *cough* But do they address if a Bard can use it to qualify for his required Perform ranks? or if it qualifies for the Virtuoso, which has 'Perform(Any)' as a requirement?

EDIT: Ahahahaha oh god Virtuoso abilities are hilarious if you read them as having the Perform(Sexual) skill.


Persuasive Song (Ex): A virtuoso with at least 11 ranks in a Perform skill can deliver a performance that sways the attitude of his audience. Treat this as a Diplomacy check made to influence NPC attitudes (see pages 71–72 of the Player’s Handbook), but replace the Diplomacy check with a Perform check. Viewers must be within 30 feet of the virtuoso, be able to see and hear him clearly, and be willingly paying attention to his actions. This ability requires at least 10 consecutive rounds of concentration to take effect, and it can affect a particular creature only once per day. Hostile audience members can’t be influenced with this ability.

RebelRogue
2010-09-06, 05:27 PM
EDIT: Ahahahaha oh god Virtuoso abilities are hilarious if you read them as having the Perform(Sexual) skill.
This is solid gold! :smallbiggrin:

Zaydos
2010-09-06, 05:30 PM
So I know what class I'm using if I ever play a game with BoEF recommended.

Crasical
2010-09-06, 06:13 PM
Huh. You can use Virtuoso as a caster PRC now.

Take Battle Sorcerer to swap Bluff for Intimidate, take White Raven martial study as your first level feat for Diplomacy as a class skill.

You get proficiency with a one-handed martial weapon (Longsword, Battleaxe, Warhammer are all viable picks and in-style), and you get a single white-raven maneuvers, (Bolstering voice doesn't require a hit from your weapon, so can still be somewhat useful)

By level 7 (Assuming no int penalty), since you can take Perform(Sexual) without multiclassing you can hit the prereqs for Virtuoso 1 at level 8, which advances caster progression 9/10 as well as letting you put Perform(Sexual) to all sorts of fun uses, such as


Fascinating (as the spell)
Persuasive Performance ( Change people's opinions of you as if with diplomacy)
Sustaining Performance( A little loving will heal your allies, automatically stabilizing them and increasing their health back to zero )
Jarring Performance (Anyone trying to cast has to make a concentrate check not to fumble it. Maybe they're distracted by something?)
Furious performance (Allies near you get the opportunity to Rage like a barbarian)
Mindbending Performance (Anyone you've Fascinated can be Dominated instead.)
Revealing performance (Allies within 30 feet get True Seeing)


On top of that, you still get 9th level spells. Take from the Enchantment school for full effect.

BladeofOblivion
2010-09-06, 06:15 PM
Fascinating (as the spell)
Persuasive Performance ( Change people's opinions of you as if with diplomacy)
Sustaining Performance( A little loving will heal your allies, automatically stabilizing them and increasing their health back to zero )
Jarring Performance (Anyone trying to cast has to make a concentrate check not to fumble it. Maybe they're distracted by something?)
Furious performance (Allies near you get the opportunity to Rage like a barbarian)
Mindbending Performance (Anyone you've Fascinated can be Dominated instead.)
Revealing performance (Allies within 30 feet get True Seeing)



And you managed to make every possible effect sound dirty. Incredible.

Crasical
2010-09-06, 06:16 PM
And you managed to make every possible effect sound dirty. Incredible.

We're discussing the BoEF. It's not exactly hard.

EDIT:
Question: Best name for a Sorcerer/Virtuoso with the Perform(Sexual) Skill?
AnswerPervirtuoso

VirOath
2010-09-07, 12:12 AM
....


....

.... *cough* But do they address if a Bard can use it to qualify for his required Perform ranks? or if it qualifies for the Virtuoso, which has 'Perform(Any)' as a requirement?


Sorry, no such luck I believe. If I remember correctly, Bards need to have perform linked to a musical instrument, with vocals being an exception.

Though, Warforged Bards can get around this I suppose, with some body modding.

Blow the whistle...

Aran Banks
2010-09-07, 12:16 AM
That's multiclassing with a tier 2 class. I think you've broken out of the realm of the monk. :smallamused:

NO SORCERERS ARE TOTALLY BALANCED!!!1!!!one1!!!

The Glyphstone
2010-09-07, 12:19 AM
NO SORCERERS ARE TOTALLY BALANCED!!!1!!!one1!!!

Nonsense. The Sorcerer has a familiar, that's totally trading flavor for power.

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 12:28 AM
Hey familiars do have all your ranks and can use aid another to make you perform better.

The Rabbler
2010-09-07, 12:46 AM
Hey familiars do have all your ranks and can use aid another to make you perform better.

:smalleek:

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 12:48 AM
:smalleek:

My job here is done... now it's just a hobby.

Shademan
2010-09-07, 12:58 AM
long have I had a multiclassed monk/blue mage/ enlightened fist lying around that I have yet to play.
one day my friends....one day

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 12:59 AM
See me I'm just starting to want to play a sorcerer/virtuoso. I might not be able to use the perform I put a lot of ranks into for class abilities but... optimization isn't everything.

Crasical
2010-09-07, 01:10 AM
I've actually been noodling with this concept all day, eventually thinking that Warlock is a better choice. Will post up a short level guide once I'm done later.

EDIT: Done. No assumptions towards race, class, or gender made. From what I've heard Hellfire Warlock would be a good choice for the last 3 levels, but I don't have that book so I can't check. Feats where picked at random, as I have no idea what's good for Warlocks, so replace them to your liking, as you should with skills, although you need to follow the build at least up to level 5 to get the skill prereqs of Intimidate and Diplomacy for Virtuoso, although you can stop after that.

Pervirtuoso
{table=head]Level|Class|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Skills|Feats|Class Features

1st|Warlock|
+0|
+0|
+0|
+2|Perform(Sexual)4, Intimidate 2, Diplomacy 2|Martial Study (White Raven)|Eldritch Blast 1d6, Least Invocations, Bolstering Voice

2nd|Warlock|
+1|
+0|
+0|
+3|Perform(Sexual)5, Intimidate 2, Diplomacy 3| |Detect magic

3rd|Warlock|
+2|
+1|
+1|
+3|Perform(Sexual)6, Intimidate 3, Diplomacy 3|Point blank Shot|Damage Reduction 1/Cold Iron, Eldritch Blast 2d6

4th|Warlock|
+3|
+1|
+1|
+4|Perform(Sexual)7, Intimidate 3, Diplomacy 4| |Decieve Item

5th|Warlock|
+3|
+1|
+1|
+4|Perform(Sexual)8, Intimidate 4, Diplomacy 4| |Eldritch Blast 3d6

6th|Warlock|
+4|
+2|
+2|
+5|Perform(Sexual)9, Intimidate 4, Diplomacy 5|Precise shot|Lesser Invocations

7th|Warlock|
+5|
+2|
+2|
+5|Perform(Sexual)10, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 5| |Damage Reduction 2/Cold Iron, Eldritch Blast 4d6

8th|Virtuoso|
+5|
+2|
+2|
+7|Perform(Sexual)11, Intimidate 7, Diplomacy 8| |Bardic Music (Fascinate) Virtuoso (Persuasive Song)

9th|Virtuoso|
+6/+1|
+2|
+2|
+8|Perform(Sexual)12, Intimidate 10, Diplomacy 10|Weapon Focus(Eldritch Blast)|

10th|Virtuoso|
+6/+1|
+3|
+3|
+8|Perform(Sexual)13, Intimidate 12, Diplomacy 13| |Virtuoso (sustaining song) Eldritch Blast 5d6

11th|Virtuoso|
+7/+2|
+3|
+3|
+9|Perform(Sexual)14, Intimidate 14, Diplomacy 14, Spellcraft 1, Concentrate 1| |

12th|Virtuoso|
+7/+2|
+3|
+3|
+9|Perform(Sexual)15, Intimidate 15, Diplomacy 15, Spellcraft 2, Concentrate 3|Quicken SLA|Virtuoso (Jarring Song) Eldritch blast 6d6, Greater invocations

13th|Virtuoso|
+8/+3|
+4|
+4|
+10|Perform(Sexual)16, Intimidate 16, Diplomacy 16, Spellcraft 4, Concentrate 4| |

14th|Virtuoso|
+8/+3|
+4|
+4|
+10|Perform(Sexual)17, Intimidate 17, Diplomacy 17, Spellcraft 5, Concentrate 6| |Virtuoso (Song of Fury)

15th|Virtuoso|
+9/+4|
+4|
+4|
+11|Perform(Sexual)18, Intimidate 18, Diplomacy 18, Spellcraft 7, Concentrate 7|Ranged Spell Specialization|Eldritch Blast 7d6

16th|Virtuoso|
+9/+4|
+5|
+5|
+11|Perform(Sexual)19, Intimidate 19, Diplomacy 19, Spellcraft 9, Concentrate 8| |Virtuoso(Mindbending Melody)

17th|Virtuoso|
+10/+5|
+5|
+5|
+12|Perform(Sexual)20, Intimidate 20, Diplomacy 20, Spellcraft 8, Concentrate 9| |Virtuoso(Revealing Melody) Dark Invocations[/table]

Uncertainty
2010-09-07, 07:57 AM
Sorry, no such luck I believe. If I remember correctly, Bards need to have perform linked to a musical instrument, with vocals being an exception.

I'm almost afraid to say anything... But couldn't it be argued that Perform(Sexual) has - at the very least - some vocal components to it? It's up to the DM, of course...

Crasical
2010-09-07, 08:04 AM
I'm almost afraid to say anything... But couldn't it be argued that Perform(Sexual) has - at the very least - some vocal components to it? It's up to the DM, of course...

If he's letting you play a Perform(Sexual) bard/performer character at all, I think she/he'd probably let you slide. If s/he's inclined to say that it doesn't meet th prerequisites, s/he's probably the kind not to let you play this character at all.

RebelRogue
2010-09-07, 08:30 AM
Hmmm:


Bardic Music

Once per day per bard level, a bard can use his song or poetics to produce magical effects on those around him (usually including himself, if desired). While these abilities fall under the category of bardic music and the descriptions discuss singing or playing instruments, they can all be activated by reciting poetry, chanting, singing lyrical songs, singing melodies, whistling, playing an instrument, or playing an instrument in combination with some spoken performance. Each ability requires both a minimum bard level and a minimum number of ranks in the Perform skill to qualify; if a bard does not have the required number of ranks in at least one Perform skill, he does not gain the bardic music ability until he acquires the needed ranks.
I guess the bolded part could be viewed as support for the stand that any Perform skill would do.

Crasical
2010-09-07, 08:33 AM
Hmmm:

Bardic Music

Once per day per bard level, a bard can use his song or poetics to produce magical effects on those around him (usually including himself, if desired). While these abilities fall under the category of bardic music and the descriptions discuss singing or playing instruments, they can all be activated by reciting poetry, chanting, singing lyrical songs, singing melodies, whistling, playing an instrument, or playing an instrument in combination with some spoken performance. Each ability requires both a minimum bard level and a minimum number of ranks in the Perform skill to qualify; if a bard does not have the required number of ranks in at least one Perform skill, he does not gain the bardic music ability until he acquires the needed ranks.

I guess the bolded part could be viewed as support for the stand that any Perform skill would do.

The part I bolded can be viewed as support for the stand that it cannot. :smalltongue:

It's up to GM interpretation here, I think.

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 08:34 AM
I think it is more that the performance could be argued to be a different one than the one you have ranks in.

RebelRogue
2010-09-07, 08:36 AM
The part I bolded can be viewed as support for the stand that it cannot. :smalltongue:

playing an instrument in combination with some spoken performance
Are you sure? :smalltongue:

It's up to GM interpretation here, I think.
Ultimately, I do agree.

Crasical
2010-09-07, 08:39 AM
Are you sure? :smalltongue:

Spoken performance?
Are you suggesting that it's acceptable to use Perform(Sexual) for bardic powers as long as you have NOISY sex?

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 09:02 AM
Well Human Sorcerer Virtuoso.

{table]Level|Class|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Skills|Feats|Special |Casting
1|Sorcerer|+0|+0|+0|+2|Perform (Sexual) 4 r, Intimidate 2, Diplomacy 2, Bluff 4|Able Learner, Skill Focus (Perform)|Familiar (traded for something)|1st level spells
2|Sorcerer|+1|+0|+0|+3|Perform (Sexual) 5 r, Intimidate 2, Diplomacy 2, Bluff 5, Concentration 1|- |-|1st level spells
3|Sorcerer|+1|+1|+1|+3|Perform (Sexual) 6 r, Intimidate 3, Diplomacy 3, Bluff 5, Concentration 1|Obtain Familiar |-|1st level spells
4|Sorcerer|+2|+1|+1|+4|Perform (Sexual) 7 r, Intimidate 3, Diplomacy 3, Bluff 7, Concentration 1|- |-|2nd level spells
5|Sorcerer|+2|+1|+1|+4|Perform (Sexual) 8 r, Intimidate 4, Diplomacy 4, Bluff 7, Concentration 1|- |-|2nd level spells
6|Sorcerer|+3|+2|+2|+5|Perform (Sexual) 9 r, Intimidate 4, Diplomacy 4, Bluff 9, Concentration 1|Improved Familiar|-|3rd level spells
7| Sorcerer|+3|+2|+2|+5|Perform (Sexual) 10 r, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 5, Bluff 9, Concentration 1|-|-|3rd level spells
8|Virtuoso|+3|+2|+2|+7|Perform (Sexual) 11 r, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 11, Bluff 9, Concentration 1|-|Bardic music ( fascinate), virtuoso performance (persuasive song)|3rd level spells
9|Virtuoso|+4|+2|+2|+8|Perform (Sexual) 12 r, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 12, Bluff 12, Concentration 3|Enspell Familiar (Dragon Magazine Compendium)|-|4th level spells
10|Virtuoso|+4|+3|+3|+8|Perform (Sexual) 13 r, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 13, Bluff 13, Concentration 7|-| virtuoso performance (sustaining song)|4th level spells
11|Virtuoso|+4|+3|+3|+9|Perform (Sexual) 14, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 14, Bluff 14, Concentration 11|-|-|5th level spells
12|Virtuoso|+5|+3|+3|+9|Perform (Sexual) 15, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 15, Bluff 15, Concentration 15|Spell Focus (Enchantment)|Virtuoso Performance (Jarring Song)|5th level spells
13|Virtuoso|+5|+4|+4|+10|Perform (Sexual) 16, Intimidate 9, Diplomacy 16, Bluff 16, Concentration 16|-|-|6th level spells
14| Virtuoso|+6|+4|+4|+10|Perform (Sexual) 17, Intimidate 13, Diplomacy 17, Bluff 17, Concentration 17|-|Virtuoso Performance (Song of Fury)|6th level spells
15| Virtuoso|+6|+4|+4|+11|Perform (Sexual) 18, Intimidate 17, Diplomacy 18, Bluff 18, Concentration 18|Greater Spell Focus (Enchantment)|-|7th level spells
16|Virtuoso|+7|+5|+5|+11| Perform (Sexual) 19, Intimidate 19, Diplomacy 19, Bluff 19, Concentration 19, Spellcraft 2|-|Virtuoso Performance (mindbending melody)|7th level spells
17|Virtuoso|+7|+5|+5|+12| Perform (Sexual) 20, Intimidate 20, Diplomacy 20, Bluff 20, Concentration 20, Spellcraft 5|-|Virtuoso Performance (revealing melody)|8th level spells[/table]

Crasical
2010-09-07, 09:10 AM
Well Human Sorcerer Virtuoso.

.... But what familiar does he/she have?

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 09:13 AM
.... But what familiar does he/she have?

Depends upon what the DM will let me grab :smallbiggrin:

Crasical
2010-09-07, 09:32 AM
Imps: Have poisonous Stingers, are evil
Quasits: Evil, poisonous claws.
Pseudodragon: Poison Stingers

All of the above have the advantage of having human-level intelligence.

Alternatively, take the Item Familiar feat with a magic 'toy' of your liking, though that has the downside that the Item will eventually become Intelligent.

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 09:34 AM
Imps: Have poisonous Stingers, are evil
Quasits: Evil, poisonous claws.
Pseudodragon: Poison Stingers

All of the above have the advantage of having human-level intelligence.

Alternatively, take the Item Familiar feat with a magic 'toy' of your liking, though that has the downside that the Item will eventually become Intelligent.

That's a downside? But yeah if using the standard familiar list it would probably be one of those three, or else take Dragon Familiar instead and get a baby dragon.

Crasical
2010-09-07, 09:49 AM
That's a downside? But yeah if using the standard familiar list it would probably be one of those three, or else take Dragon Familiar instead and get a baby dragon.

But eventually you'd have to interact with it's parents. "You taught our baby WHAT?!"

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 09:54 AM
But eventually you'd have to interact with it's parents. "You taught our baby WHAT?!"

:smallbiggrin: I can't stop grinning now, >.<

Crasical
2010-09-07, 10:09 AM
Since your sorcerer is enchantment focused, I wonder if there's a way to get some levels of the Mindbender PRC...

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 10:14 AM
Since your sorcerer is enchantment focused, I wonder if there's a way to get some levels of the Mindbender PRC...

A 1 level dip would be easy, just shave off 3 ranks in Bluff, and 1 in Concentration to get 4 ranks in Sense Motive. Or have a 12+ Int. Beyond that the lost casting hurts.

Crasical
2010-09-07, 10:23 AM
A 1 level dip would be easy, just shave off 3 ranks in Bluff, and 1 in Concentration to get 4 ranks in Sense Motive. Or have a 12+ Int. Beyond that the lost casting hurts.

Yeah, you already took a dip from Virtuoso, you want to make sure you get 9th level spells.

... I'm curious, how does 'Song of Fury' work when you use this method?

2xMachina
2010-09-07, 10:43 AM
But eventually you'd have to interact with it's parents. "You taught our baby WHAT?!"

Dragons breed with everything, so I'm not sure they'd mind.

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 10:45 AM
They are also not the most caring parents. Most dragon familiars are abandoned before hand, although some are fostered off with the threat that the dragon will be looking in (even though much of the time they don't).

Crasical
2010-09-07, 10:54 AM
Dragons breed with everything, so I'm not sure they'd mind.

There's 'Breeds with everything' and then there's what we're doing here, which is 'tantric magic threesomes to inspire allies' or something equally obscene.

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 11:06 AM
Well dragons are also open to polyamorous relationships according to the Draconomicon. Even the Lawful ones are.

Crasical
2010-09-07, 11:40 AM
So, what party role does a Pervirtuoso actually fill? Support/Buffing?

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 11:48 AM
So, what party role does a Pervirtuoso actually fill? Support/Buffing?

Especially buffing :smallsmile:

Umm... if it's a sorcerer it would be a sorcerer with extra buff/support abilities.

Tiki Snakes
2010-09-07, 11:48 AM
He's the Fluffer, of course.

Crasical
2010-09-07, 11:55 AM
I wonder if you need a partner to Perform(Sexual). Might need a cohort, Hireling, Familiar, or teammate who has no armor to remove.

Zaydos
2010-09-07, 11:55 AM
I wonder if you need a partner to Perform(Sexual). Might need a cohort, Hireling, Familiar, or teammate who has no armor to remove.

See that dragon familiar is looking better every second isn't it?

Crasical
2010-09-07, 12:13 PM
See that dragon familiar is looking better every second isn't it?

DM: The orcs are massing for an attack. Uthar has initiative. What do you do?

Player: Uthar will drop his pants, grab his dragon familiar, and jam it in. I'm using my 'Song of Fury' class feature.

DM: Alright. Everyone gets the option to enter a barbarian rage. Any takers?

Rogue: I'm in.

Swordsage: Me too.

Paladin: Alright, sure.

Cleric: I'll abstain.

DM: All right. Next in initiative is Rogue, Swordsage, and Paladin.

All: We charge!

*Horrible, perversion fueled massacre*

togapika
2010-09-07, 10:26 PM
Comp Adv p. 44
Eventually you can put on such a good show you can change npc's feelings!

RebelRogue
2010-09-07, 10:46 PM
Pervirtuoso
Wonderful name for this build :smallbiggrin:

Crasical
2010-09-07, 11:02 PM
Comp Adv p. 44
Eventually you can put on such a good show you can change npc's feelings!

Sadly, it also says it doesn't work on Hostile enemies. And most lawful-good settlements out there are going to disapprove of public "performances", no matter how hot they may be.

Veros
2010-09-08, 08:20 AM
DM: The orcs are massing for an attack. Uthar has initiative. What do you do?

Player: Uthar will drop his pants, grab his dragon familiar, and jam it in. I'm using my 'Song of Fury' class feature.

DM: Alright. Everyone gets the option to enter a barbarian rage. Any takers?

Rogue: I'm in.

Swordsage: Me too.

Paladin: Alright, sure.

Cleric: I'll abstain.

DM: All right. Next in initiative is Rogue, Swordsage, and Paladin.

All: We charge!

*Horrible, perversion fueled massacre*

Quoted for epicness.

Also... I think I'll play one next campaign...

Zaydos
2010-09-08, 08:26 AM
Your DM (and group) will let you?

Veros
2010-09-08, 08:47 AM
DM's actually read over character sheets throughly before allowing them? >>; But I managed to slip a Kobold Divine Minion/Sorcerer1/Master of Many Forms 2 by my DM in a level 4 campaign. >>; He later cringed when I started Wild Shaping. (Admittedly not as bad as Kobold Divine Minion/Wizard1/Master of Many Forms 3... But still.)

So I'm sure I can get it by. Plus D&D is full of sexual references at the table anyways. Even without touching the BoEF.

Zaydos
2010-09-08, 09:19 AM
I look at people's sheets... then again my first DM for 3.X was a bad munchkin and when I took over DMing I learned to always triple check his sheet.

Crasical
2010-09-08, 09:21 AM
So I'm sure I can get it by. Plus D&D is full of sexual references at the table anyways. Even without touching the BoEF.

If you can get it past your DM and then later reveal he OK'd it, that's pretty funny and okay. But don't insist on playing the character if it's making other people uncomfortable.

.. Also, what race/gender/familiar combo are you going for?

Veros
2010-09-08, 09:24 AM
I was thinking Human Male + Dragon Familiar. xD For the best laughs.

Or Human Female. =P But then my group might just roll over and die laughing.

Crasical
2010-09-08, 09:28 AM
Make sure to have your character give himself the most outlandish self-proclaimed title ever.

"I AM UTHAR, THE WHITE BULL OF HEAVEN, LAYER OF DRAGONS."

Veros
2010-09-08, 09:31 AM
*LAUGHS*

Yes! Can a wyrmling dragon impregnate a human female? xD Or can a wyrmling dragon be impregnated by a human male? xD They can mate with anything...

2xMachina
2010-09-08, 09:36 AM
*LAUGHS*

Yes! Can a wyrmling dragon impregnate a human female? xD Or can a wyrmling dragon be impregnated by a human male? xD They can mate with anything...

Not sure they're developed enough as a wyrmling. Assuming they are, yes, you have a half dragon on your hands.

Zaydos
2010-09-08, 09:39 AM
According to the draconomicon no. Dragons reach sexual maturity early in the Young Adult age category.

Crasical
2010-09-08, 09:39 AM
I don't have a copy of the BoEF PDF or the Draconomicon on this computer, so I don't know, though I remember the former had a big table of 'X can interbreed with Y'.

If you're concerned about it, take a contraceptive, or use a medieval condom of some sort. If you don't want to spare the move-action to get one on, use the other hole (Lift 'yer tail, darlin...), but I would say that a Wyrmling is still 3-4 age categories from being juvenile/young adult, so you're in the clear for accidental impregnation.

Veros
2010-09-08, 09:40 AM
Darn it, Draconomicon says Young Adult is when both genders can start breeding... Where's that Charm Monster so I can perform (sexual acts) with a young adult dragon...

2xMachina
2010-09-08, 09:42 AM
"Half-dragon" is an inherited template that can be added to any living, corporeal creature (referred to hereafter as the base creature).

and

pedophilia + bestiality....

Crasical
2010-09-08, 09:43 AM
Darn it, Draconomicon says Young Adult is when both genders can start breeding... Where's that Charm Monster so I can perform (sexual acts) with a young adult dragon...

Are we going Project: Lunar here and trying to breed minions? Or do you just want to go down in history as "Sir Veros DragonF***er"?

Character Motivation: Have intercourse with at least one dragon of every shade, Chromatic and Metallic.

Zaydos
2010-09-08, 09:44 AM
Are we going Project: Lunar here and trying to breed minions? Or do you just want to go down in history as "Sir Veros DragonF***er"?

Character Motivation: Have intercourse with at least one dragon of every shade, Chromatic and Metallic.

Hey don't forget Lung, Gem, Ferrous, Planar, and miscellaneous. Just hope you don't die of old age first.

Crasical
2010-09-08, 09:49 AM
pedophilia + bestiality....

Technically even Wyrmling dragons have int 14 and Wis 15, so they're smarter and have better common sense than most human adults. They're still youngsters, but that might cut into the 'lack of consent' bit that makes it so abhorrent, pedophilia and bestiality both.

Plus, I think there's something to be noted that this is your familiar, so you have a fairly intimate bond with it already. Or something.



Hey don't forget Lung, Gem, Ferrous, Planar, and miscellaneous. Just hope you don't die of old age first.

Play an elf, or some other race that lives a very long time?

Snake-Aes
2010-09-08, 09:59 AM
Play an elf, or some other race that lives a very long time?

warforged.

Crasical
2010-09-08, 10:05 AM
warforged.

:smalleek: :smallconfused: :smallwink:

I don't have an eberron book. Do they have a charisma penalty? Can they be sorcerers?

Zaydos
2010-09-08, 10:09 AM
:smalleek: :smallconfused: :smallwink:

I don't have an eberron book. Do they have a charisma penalty? Can they be sorcerers?

Yes and yes they just aren't good at it.

Crasical
2010-09-08, 10:13 AM
Yes and yes they just aren't good at it.

Being a genderless construct probably is a problem too.

Tiki Snakes
2010-09-08, 10:17 AM
Being a genderless construct probably is a problem too.

On the contrary, I think you'll find that they are fully functional, and anatomically correct. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DYrlt3CyaE&feature=related)

Snake-Aes
2010-09-08, 10:26 AM
They are not necessarily genderless. But the equipment has to be installed separately.

Crasical
2010-09-08, 10:37 AM
They are not necessarily genderless. But the equipment has to be installed separately.

Can they install 'functional' equipment? I don't know much about warforged aside from being essentially construct soldiers, so I'm unsure if they have enough personality variance to derive enjoyment from procreation. Or if they can even feel such pleasure...

2xMachina
2010-09-08, 10:39 AM
Technically even Wyrmling dragons have int 14 and Wis 15, so they're smarter and have better common sense than most human adults. They're still youngsters, but that might cut into the 'lack of consent' bit that makes it so abhorrent, pedophilia and bestiality both.

Plus, I think there's something to be noted that this is your familiar, so you have a fairly intimate bond with it already. Or something.


I thought it was due to speciesism. :P

Snake-Aes
2010-09-08, 10:56 AM
Can they install 'functional' equipment? I don't know much about warforged aside from being essentially construct soldiers, so I'm unsure if they have enough personality variance to derive enjoyment from procreation. Or if they can even feel such pleasure...
As very well put by Keychain of Creation...
http://www.imgjoe.com/x/koc0132.png (http://keychain.patternspider.net/archive/koc0132.html)

The Glyphstone
2010-09-08, 11:13 AM
This is an immensely entertaining thread, but is starting to toe the line. Please keep it PG-13 so I don't have to be all responsible and break out the red text of doom.:smallbiggrin:

Crasical
2010-09-08, 12:08 PM
This is an immensely entertaining thread, but is starting to toe the line. Please keep it PG-13 so I don't have to be all responsible and break out the red text of doom.:smallbiggrin:

D'aww. Yessir.

Instead, I shall call people's attention to a line in the Virtuoso Performance ability:
Unlike with bardic music, virtuoso performance doesn’t restrict a virtuoso’s spellcasting or magic item activation.

So the performances that don't require concentration (Only Persuasive Song, and possibly Fascinate and Mindbending melody do) don't impede spellcasting.

I hadn't noticed this line before, and it makes the Sorcerer version of the pervirtuoso much stronger than I'd thought.

EDIT:


As very well put by Keychain of Creation...

Nova is win in a can. If you can make a Warforged as awesome (And strangely attractive...) as she is, I like the race much more than I did before.

Doomboy911
2010-09-08, 07:12 PM
Tell me how this sounds: find a sleeping dragon, phase into his head, unphase,fire a arrow at the brain, phase out and leave. Wouldn't this kind of be an instant kill?

The Rabbler
2010-09-08, 08:15 PM
Tell me how this sounds: find a sleeping dragon, phase into his head, unphase,fire a arrow at the brain, phase out and leave. Wouldn't this kind of be an instant kill?

have you been reading the thread?

Tiki Snakes
2010-09-08, 08:39 PM
A more on topic reply could start in the same way, but after you've found a sleeping dragon (Can't really be considered Hostile if they aren't concious?) the plan starts to sound a lot different.

Zaq
2010-09-08, 08:51 PM
DM: The orcs are massing for an attack. Uthar has initiative. What do you do?

Player: Uthar will drop his pants, grab his dragon familiar, and jam it in. I'm using my 'Song of Fury' class feature.


Are we going Project: Lunar here and trying to breed minions? Or do you just want to go down in history as "Sir Veros DragonF***er"?

Character Motivation: Have intercourse with at least one dragon of every shade, Chromatic and Metallic.

I can't stand dragons, and even I think that this is awesome. Now you just need a hilarious personality for your familiar. (It may be willing all the way, but it's much funnier if it's more than just a toy, yeah?)

Crasical
2010-09-08, 09:32 PM
A more on topic reply could start in the same way, but after you've found a sleeping dragon (Can't really be considered Hostile if they aren't concious?) the plan starts to sound a lot different.

Emphasis mine.
So Pervirtuoso and Perform(Sexual) is the new de-facto topic in this thread? I feel slightly responsible, though I'm unsure if I should be proud or ashamed.

VirOath
2010-09-08, 09:52 PM
Tell me how this sounds: find a sleeping dragon, phase into his head, unphase,fire a arrow at the brain, phase out and leave. Wouldn't this kind of be an instant kill?

You are assuming that there is empty space inside the dragon's head for your body. There isn't. Depending on how mean your DM feels like due to a munchkin attempt to circumvent the rules you may just take damage for every 5 feet you have to move, or you might just phase into the dragonflesh, killing you too.

Zaydos
2010-09-08, 09:53 PM
Emphasis mine.
So Pervirtuoso and Perform(Sexual) is the new de-facto topic in this thread? I feel slightly responsible, though I'm unsure if I should be proud or ashamed.

I helped. Of which I'm ashamed.

Doomboy911
2010-09-08, 10:32 PM
Emphasis mine.
So Pervirtuoso and Perform(Sexual) is the new de-facto topic in this thread? I feel slightly responsible, though I'm unsure if I should be proud or ashamed.

Be proud that you pulled it off and ashamed at the topic.

RebelRogue
2010-09-08, 10:40 PM
Actually, I think I started it :smallredface:

El Dorado
2010-09-08, 10:46 PM
Such was the downfall of the Princess & Ponies RPG,

Crasical
2010-09-08, 10:56 PM
A logistics problem when playing this build: You probably have to stay relatively stationary to 'Perform' unless you decide to choose a partner a size category smaller. The Sorcerer doesn't really get that many great defensive spells to keep himself and his partner safe.

Alternative solution: Take Leadership at 6 instead of Improved Familiar, take a Cloistered Cleric cohort, have him/her buff you both with Sanctuary.

RebelRogue
2010-09-08, 11:23 PM
A logistics problem when playing this build: You probably have to stay relatively stationary to 'Perform' unless you decide to choose a partner a size category smaller.
Who says you need a partner? :smallamused:

Zaydos
2010-09-09, 12:13 AM
Well my original suggestion with the familiar wasn't that you needed a partner, only that they could use Aid Another. Also if it's still using the sorcerer build I suggested who says you need to give up the familiar, most of the feats were just tacked on, swap one of them for Leadership; or use a flaw.

If we really want to explore the ability to couple with dragons we could take Dragon Cohort instead of Leadership, have a cohort that's a dragon and a wyrmling of a different color.

Veros
2010-09-09, 12:17 AM
Don't forget that if you use Magical Training and Precocious Apprentice for 2nd level spells as a Wizard/Sorcerer and go Druid, snagging Dragon Cohort and Dragon Wildshape (at 12th)... You can be a dragon doing a dragon with those Perform (sexual)... Which makes me wonder... Can you impregnate a dragon to have a full dragon while wildshaped into a dragon? Or would it be a boring half-dragon human?

Zaydos
2010-09-09, 12:23 AM
Don't forget that if you use Magical Training and Precocious Apprentice for 2nd level spells as a Wizard/Sorcerer and go Druid, snagging Dragon Cohort and Dragon Wildshape (at 12th)... You can be a dragon doing a dragon with those Perform (sexual)... Which makes me wonder... Can you impregnate a dragon to have a full dragon while wildshaped into a dragon? Or would it be a boring half-dragon human?

I've had a campaign where they might have eventually found that out... if they weren't dealing with shape-shifting the 3/4 mortal grandson/heir to the Fey Court which threw the accuracy out the window.

Also Revised build (assumes the use of 1 flaw, if flaw not allowed remove Lv 1 Spell Focus (Enchantment) and replace Greater Spell Focus (Enchantment) with Spell Focus (Enchantment))

{table]Level|Class|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Skills|Feats|Special |Casting
1|Sorcerer|+0|+0|+0|+2|Perform (Sexual) 4 r, Intimidate 2, Diplomacy 2, Spellcraft 4|Able Learner, Skill Focus (Perform), Spell Focus (Enchantment)|Familiar (lost for Loner flaw)|1st level spells
2|Sorcerer|+1|+0|+0|+3|Perform (Sexual) 5 r, Intimidate 2, Diplomacy 2, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 2|- |-|1st level spells
3|Sorcerer|+1|+1|+1|+3|Perform (Sexual) 6 r, Intimidate 3, Diplomacy 3, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 2|Obtain Familiar |-|1st level spells
4|Sorcerer|+2|+1|+1|+4|Perform (Sexual) 7 r, Intimidate 3, Diplomacy 3, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|- |-|2nd level spells
5|Sorcerer|+2|+1|+1|+4|Perform (Sexual) 8 r, Intimidate 4, Diplomacy 4, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|- |-|2nd level spells
6|Sorcerer|+3|+2|+2|+5|Perform (Sexual) 9 r, Intimidate 4, Diplomacy 4, Bluff 2, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|Leadership|-|3rd level spells
7| Sorcerer|+3|+2|+2|+5|Perform (Sexual) 10 r, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 5, Bluff 2, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|-|-|3rd level spells
8|Virtuoso|+3|+2|+2|+7|Perform (Sexual) 11 r, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 11, Bluff 2, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|-|Bardic music ( fascinate), virtuoso performance (persuasive song)|3rd level spells
9|Virtuoso|+4|+2|+2|+8|Perform (Sexual) 12 r, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 12, Bluff 7, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|Dragon Familiar|-|4th level spells
10|Virtuoso|+4|+3|+3|+8|Perform (Sexual) 13 r, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 13, Bluff 12, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|-| virtuoso performance (sustaining song)|4th level spells
11|Virtuoso|+4|+3|+3|+9|Perform (Sexual) 14, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 14, Bluff 14, Concentration 3, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|-|-|5th level spells
12|Virtuoso|+5|+3|+3|+9|Perform (Sexual) 15, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 15, Bluff 15, Concentration 7, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|Arcane Disciple|Virtuoso Performance (Jarring Song)|5th level spells
13|Virtuoso|+5|+4|+4|+10|Perform (Sexual) 16, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 16, Bluff 16, Concentration 11, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|-|-|6th level spells
14| Virtuoso|+6|+4|+4|+10|Perform (Sexual) 17, Intimidate 5, Diplomacy 17, Bluff 17, Concentration 15, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|-|Virtuoso Performance (Song of Fury)|6th level spells
15| Virtuoso|+6|+4|+4|+11|Perform (Sexual) 18, Intimidate 6, Diplomacy 18, Bluff 18, Concentration 18, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|Greater Spell Focus (Enchantment)|-|7th level spells
16|Virtuoso|+7|+5|+5|+11| Perform (Sexual) 19, Intimidate 9, Diplomacy 19, Bluff 19, Concentration 19, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|-|Virtuoso Performance (mindbending melody)|7th level spells
17|Virtuoso|+7|+5|+5|+12| Perform (Sexual) 20, Intimidate 12, Diplomacy 20, Bluff 20, Concentration 20, Spellcraft 4, Knowledge (Religion) 4|-|Virtuoso Performance (revealing melody)|8th level spells[/table]

Crasical
2010-09-09, 12:40 AM
What Domain should be picked up with Arcane Disciple?

Zaydos
2010-09-09, 12:41 AM
What Domain should be picked up with Arcane Disciple?

If you want Sanctuary, Protection. Honestly whatever you want, or just swap it back for more enchantment or enspell familiar. It was mostly to combat the idea they didn't have enough defensive spells (which I could have also argued against with Wings of Cover).

Crasical
2010-09-09, 01:03 AM
If you want Sanctuary, Protection. Honestly whatever you want, or just swap it back for more enchantment or enspell familiar. It was mostly to combat the idea they didn't have enough defensive spells (which I could have also argued against with Wings of Cover).

I mostly wuss out and only look through the SRD spells because they're easily searchable. My line of thought was thus:

Having your performance partner die in the middle of the act would suck
->
How can we prevent this from happening?

Zaydos
2010-09-09, 01:09 AM
I mostly wuss out and only look through the SRD spells because they're easily searchable. My line of thought was thus:

Having your performance partner die in the middle of the act would suck
->
How can we prevent this from happening?

Well sorcerers can get pretty high AC, although that often involves growing dragon scales and wearing plate mail made of pure light (which reminds me I had a character whose Greater Luminous Armor spell was actually multiple colored, had his family crest in blue on the chest, and had a prominent blue cod-piece) which might be troublesome.

Between Superior Resistance, and Energy Immunity you can get quite hard to kill by other means. And there is also Invisibility... which is weird in context. More fun is (Greater) Mirror Image; shared with your familiar.

Crasical
2010-09-09, 01:27 AM
Between Superior Resistance, and Energy Immunity you can get quite hard to kill by other means. And there is also Invisibility... which is weird in context. More fun is (Greater) Mirror Image; shared with your familiar.

... Mirror image, huh. :smallamused:

Zaydos
2010-09-09, 01:28 AM
... Mirror image, huh. :smallamused:

Greater Mirror Image... it keeps reproducing.

Crasical
2010-09-09, 01:47 AM
DM: The resistance is much heavier than you first expected. You have only moments of downtime before the fight begins again, the second wave of orcish warriors approaching on horseback.
You have three rounds to self-buff or heal before the next wave arrives.

Player: Uthar is going maintain his performance, but will use his action to cast Greater mirror image on himself and use the spell-sharing function to share it with his familiar.

DM: ... Okay, Uthar and Silverscale are now under the effect of a Mirror Image spell. There are many illusory duplicates of him now.

Rogue: .....

Cleric: ... Wow, it's like a kaleidoscopic carnival of lust.

Paladin: I think I need to atone now.

Heliomance
2010-09-09, 05:41 AM
Perform (sexual) to power Revealing Song? WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CAN NEVER BE UNSEEN!

Doomboy911
2010-09-10, 10:45 PM
Hmm just a small question folks couldn't a thief steal clothes off of people?

Tiki Snakes
2010-09-11, 03:48 AM
Hmm just a small question folks couldn't a thief steal clothes off of people?

I understand there is a balance DC for standing on a cloud, so I'm guessing they could. No idea how easily... ;)

Doomboy911
2010-09-11, 04:26 PM
If you can stand on a cloud I wonder if I could make one a mount.

Heliomance
2010-09-11, 08:04 PM
Clouds aren't animate. Also you'd have to be making a DC 100 Balance check every round.

Stop trying to drag this thread on topic! We were having fun with the Pervirtuoso!


...no, not like that. Honest.

Veros
2010-09-11, 08:13 PM
Clouds aren't animate. Also you'd have to be making a DC 100 Balance check every round.

Stop trying to drag this thread on topic! We were having fun with the Pervirtuoso!


...no, not like that. Honest.

>=] Who says we aren't having fun with the Pervirtuoso like that?

Anyways. Wouldn't the best race for him/her/it be a Kobold (assuming you make it's partner be a Dragon)?

Coidzor
2010-09-11, 08:48 PM
>=] Who says we aren't have fun with the Pervirtuoso like that?

Anyways. Wouldn't the best race for him/her/it be a Kobold (assuming you make it's partner be a Dragon)?

Venerable Dragonwrought Kobold, to really drive home the age category difference. :smallamused: ... :smalleek: ... :smallfrown:

Veros
2010-09-11, 11:26 PM
Wrong. Kobolds age by means of life stages similar to dragons. >=] So it'd be a Great Wyrm Dragonwrought Kobold and a Wyrmling Dragon Familiar. :wink: :eek:

(Eek was placed only cause it seems appropriate. I as a Chaotic Evil person... Really don't find talking about ancient kobold and newborn dragons very distasteful. Odd. Yes.)

Crasical
2010-09-11, 11:32 PM
Wrong. Kobolds age by means of life stages similar to dragons. >=] So it'd be a Great Wyrm Dragonwrought Kobold and a Wyrmling Dragon Familiar. :wink: :eek:

.... *cough* I'm not into the whole scaliness thing. I think I'll stick to a humanoid Cohort for my Perform partner.

Veros
2010-09-11, 11:34 PM
Ah but you see, then you would have to deal with the chance of babies. Or having to use the "back door" or mouth. With the Kobold-Dragon coupling... No need for that you can use the "front door" to your heart's content. >=]

Crasical
2010-09-11, 11:38 PM
Or having to use the "back door" or mouth.

I'm surprisingly okay with that BUT let's be careful or we're going to get modsmacked for explicitness.

Anyone actually have a copy of the BoEF on hand? It should have rules for contraceptives. Or potency enhancers, if breeding an army is your goal, though that could take a while.

Veros
2010-09-12, 12:23 AM
I'm surprisingly okay with that BUT let's be careful or we're going to get modsmacked for explicitness.

Anyone actually have a copy of the BoEF on hand? It should have rules for contraceptives. Or potency enhancers, if breeding an army is your goal, though that could take a while.

That's the reasons for euphemisms. I have it on hand. >=] Matter of fact I have two copies at my finger tips.

A birth shield (2gp) renders the person (male/female) infertile for 4d6+6 days and works 95% of the time. Rubbers give 5% improvised, 70% (1sp) common, or 85% (10gp) masterwork. Woman rubbers give 20% improvised, 70% (4s) common, or 80% (15gp) masterwork. The 'cides 10% (5sp) for common and 20% (5gp) for masterwork. A Block the Seed potion (50gp) drops the chance down to 0%. Impotency (Cleric 4, Sorc 5) does the obvious permanently, and is removable by Remove Curse, but gives some social penalties. Repression (Cleric 7) renders everyone near you that has enjoyed the pleasure of Perform (sexual) infertile for 24 hours. >=]

Unseen Lover (1st level Sorc spell) makes a good substitution for a partner.

Blessed Seed (500xp Cleric 4) brings the chance up to 100% and makes the baby a Half-Celestial. Fiendish Seed (500xp Cleric 5) does the same thing except Half-Fiend. Invigorate (Druid 8) gives a +4 to Con AND makes the chance 100%, also if you OR your dragon familiar was infertile before... you aren't anymore for the rest of your life.

Reverse Gender (Sorc 3, Cleric 2) allows a Fort save or lose the baby. (Lasts 1hr/level)

Telekinesis can be used to perform the check, but you take a -2 to your check... Due to distance and lack of feedback.:smallamused:

Crasical
2010-09-12, 12:35 AM
Telekinesis can be used to perform the check, but you take a -2 to your check... Due to distance and lack of feedback.:smallamused:

I'm sensing a version of this build that multiclasses into Master of the Unseen Hand soon.

Having your party Cleric pray on your behalf would be entertainingly awkward, but the sorcerer build at present really is going to get the most mileage out of the various alchemical aides, or using Unseen Lover instead of a partner.

Veros
2010-09-12, 12:53 AM
I'm sensing a version of this build that multiclasses into Master of the Unseen Hand soon.

Having your party Cleric pray on your behalf would be entertainingly awkward, but the sorcerer build at present really is going to get the most mileage out of the various alchemical aides, or using Unseen Lover instead of a partner.

I'm not remembering much about Master of the Unseen Hand, but can't they also have a couple "violent thrusts" in with their sustained force? >=]

Not if you have a Cleric for your Cohort (if it's humanoid). Plus what good Cleric would have problems with helping you create Half-celestials? Or evil ones Half-fiends? Also Unseen Lover. >=] Very useful to avoid pregnancies. But Reversed Gender is better. It makes finding matches (of the right gender) a lot easier. And can work as an easy abortion. :smallamused:

Crasical
2010-09-12, 12:58 AM
Abortion's a hot-topic subject in the REAL WORLD. Might cause some intra-group friction if introduced into a game. A cleric cohort is likely going to be able to cast Reverse Gender without much trouble the instant you qualify for him/her, so you can just have a trap-cohort with an androgynous beauty that doesn't change overmuch when they invert genders for new depravities.

Dealing with a pregnant cohort or familiar is such a handful that all the nice fertility-increasing spells just seems like a bad idea, but listing them for completeness sake if you want to play Scorntooth, Scion of a Thousand Wyrms, kobold Pervirtuoso.

Veros
2010-09-12, 01:32 AM
Also guys, use this Virtuoso (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ex/20011207). Not the disgusting one from Complete Adventurer. Not only does it get full caster progression, more effects for it's "songs", but you don't need 4 ranks in both intimidate and diplomacy... Only 6 in either one. >=]

Admittedly you "lose" 2 skill points per level. Oh no, 4+int instead of 6+int.

Also do to the wording... It's possible to pull it off with a Cleric (or any class for that matter) with the feat Magical Training. Ha. Feat qualification. Also, since it says if you have more than one casting class you can apply it to any instead of the Complete Adventurer's more than one arcane casting class... :smallamused: You can see where I'm going.

Also... Versatile Performer. You can now use your highest perform ranks instead of the ranks in all other perform skills. >=] I guess smexins makes you good at singing and dancing.

Cleric Pervirtuoso.

2xMachina
2010-09-12, 06:35 AM
Clouds aren't animate. Also you'd have to be making a DC 100 Balance check every round.

Stop trying to drag this thread on topic! We were having fun with the Pervirtuoso!


...no, not like that. Honest.

If you can make the DC once, it's quite likely to be able to do it consistently.

Also, there are Half-Dragon Kobolds... In fact, if you're a dragon, you can breed with any damn thing.

Coidzor
2010-09-12, 11:05 AM
What about spells that hasten gestation and/or development, for those of us who don't care how many people they kill, they can just make more in their tummy?

pffh
2010-09-12, 11:22 AM
One question why a dragon familiar? Why not an octopus for that grappling bonus :smallbiggrin:

Coidzor
2010-09-12, 11:34 AM
^: Probably because we were talking about a male pervirtuoso and that variant implies a more feminine streak. Would need an amphibious one, or a tank/portable hole full of water


Also guys, use this Virtuoso (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ex/20011207). Not the disgusting one from Complete Adventurer. Not only does it get full caster progression, more effects for it's "songs", but you don't need 4 ranks in both intimidate and diplomacy... Only 6 in either one. >=]

Heh, that variant could create pogroms using the calumny or greater calumny feature.


Greater Calumny:A 7th-level virtuoso with at least 17 ranks in Perform can whip her audience into a frenzy of loathing. Greater calumny functions exactly like calumny, except that the audience's attitude is shifted two categories (indifferent to hostile, for example), and each affected audience member gains a +4 morale bonus on all opposed social interaction checks with the target. Greater calumny is a supernatural, mind-affecting, language-dependent ability.

Oh my.

Uncertainty
2010-09-12, 11:37 AM
Heh, that variant could create pogroms using the calumny or greater calumny feature.

...It could still work.

Coidzor
2010-09-12, 11:38 AM
...It could still work.

Well, just consider what Pervirtuoso does, and that it causes pogroms against anyone but the Pervirtuoso. Is hilarious.

"That man's antics with that little dragon make me so ANGRY AT ALL THE ELVES! LET'S BURN DOWN THE ELVEN QUARTER! RABBLE! RABBLE-RABBLE!"

Zaq
2010-09-12, 11:48 AM
The problem with the variant (besides being illegal, having been specifically updated) is that the "songs" burn more uses of daily music, and some of them even burn them per turn. I think we may be better off with the CAdv version just so we can keep going aaaaaaaaaall night day.

Uncertainty
2010-09-12, 11:51 AM
Well, just consider what Pervirtuoso does, and that it causes pogroms against anyone but the Pervirtuoso. Is hilarious.

"That man's antics with that little dragon make me so ANGRY AT ALL THE ELVES! LET'S BURN DOWN THE ELVEN QUARTER! RABBLE! RABBLE-RABBLE!"

I was drinking Sprite while I read this, and it came out my nose :smallfrown:.

Edit:
Following up on the octopus idea before, does anyone here think it's fair for certain spells to give some kind of circumstance bonus to our Pervirtuoso's performance? Black tentacles, grease, animate rope, etc?

Coidzor
2010-09-12, 12:12 PM
I was drinking Sprite while I read this, and it came out my nose :smallfrown:
:smallcool: A-thank you, a-thank you verra much.


Edit:
Following up on the octopus idea before, does anyone here think it's fair for certain spells to give some kind of circumstance bonus to our Pervirtuoso's performance? Black tentacles, grease, animate rope, etc?

I believe BOEF or Nymphology may have addressed grease and animate rope in their involvement in such things.

Crasical
2010-09-12, 01:09 PM
The problem with the variant (besides being illegal, having been specifically updated) is that the "songs" burn more uses of daily music, and some of them even burn them per turn. I think we may be better off with the CAdv version just so we can keep going aaaaaaaaaall night day.

Depends on what you think is valuable to the build. A lot of the BoEF spells are cleric-only, so having lowered fort saves from swapping to cleric progression might be worth the synergy with the Virtuoso 'performance' effects and their cleric spells.

It also gives you a really convenient excuse.
"Why did you sleep with [the BBEG/The Princess/The paralyzed fighter/the giant phallic artifact of doom]?"
"God told me to."

Also, for those of us who are using sorcerous variants and REALLY want to be the tentacle monster, consider Polymorph, or taking the 'Aberration Blood' feat at level 1. Combined with Inhuman Reach, it gives you tentacles that can attack from 10 feet away.

Coidzor
2010-09-12, 01:11 PM
Also, for those of us who are using sorcerous variants and REALLY want to be the tentacle monster, consider Polymorph, or taking the 'Aberration Blood' feat at level 1. Combined with Inhuman Reach, it gives you tentacles that can attack from 10 feet away.

You mean grapple. :smallwink: rrrowrr.

Doomboy911
2010-09-12, 10:01 PM
Would it be possible to put a bead of force into a arrow?

Veros
2010-09-12, 10:13 PM
Would it be possible to put a bead of force into a arrow?

HEY! The topic changed to Perform (sexual acts) pages ago. Anyways... They have adhesive glue... So probably.

Anyways, back on topic. If we are talking tentacles... :smallyuk: Since I think Polymorph lets you take forms of the Aberration type... Polymorph into a Mindflayer? Or if we want to break into psionics... We -could- make some single use items that allow us to pull of becoming a sandwhi-- play toy sorry. :smallamused: Have that cohort carry us around and use us for those Perform checks. >=]

Crasical
2010-09-12, 10:25 PM
I feel bad for hijacking your topic, doomboy, but yeah. It's been pretty well subsumed by the character optimization of Perform(Sexual)

Doomboy911
2010-09-12, 10:30 PM
Go right ahead and enjoy yourself. I've been reading through the the wondrous items and found the mirror of life trapping and found out something.

"When a creature is trapped, it is taken bodily into the mirror. Size is not a factor, but constructs and undead are not trapped, nor are inanimate objects and other nonliving matter. A victim’s equipment (including clothing and anything being carried) remains behind. If the mirror’s owner knows the right command word, he can call the reflection of any creature trapped within to its surface and engage his powerless prisoner in conversation."

The way this seems you could keep one of these mirrors around wait for you to see someone hot (prefferably an annoying paladin lady) flash the mirror at her and boom they're stuck in the mirror naked am I right?

Crasical
2010-09-12, 10:34 PM
You can use that to capture someone for indoctrination, but you can't really Perform someone who's helpless in a mirror. Might be a useful tool for evil pervirtuosos regardless.

Doomboy911
2010-09-12, 10:39 PM
The idea is to mess with the truly annoying characters, something I'd carry around for giggles find a nice city like Azure and than find some ladies. Find a nice spot and attempt suggestion.

We're going to end up writing a dirty campaign.

Zaydos
2010-09-12, 10:41 PM
The idea is to mess with the truly annoying characters, something I'd carry around for giggles find a nice city like Azure and than find some ladies. Find a nice spot and attempt suggestion.

We're going to end up writing a dirty campaign.

I think half the girls I know would want in on one. Half of those would want it to be yaoi.

Crasical
2010-09-12, 10:52 PM
.... I feel like a NG character in a party of CE. >_>

Veros
2010-09-12, 10:55 PM
.... I feel like a NG character in a party of CE. >_>

Don't worry too much about it. But if I see a paladin... I have a sheet of lead.:smallamused: And if they catch me unaware... I'm running.

Also yaoi is alright or good. =P I'd take part of the campaign and would suggest tentacles for that... Or V's "Spiked Tentacles of Intrusion". :smalleek:

Zaydos
2010-09-12, 11:00 PM
Well there was the one time they met Cthulhu's nephew in one of my games...
[censured for the good of humanity]
And that's how the Dread Necromancer gave birth to a lung baby.

Coidzor
2010-09-12, 11:05 PM
Anyways, back on topic. If we are talking tentacles... :smallyuk: Since I think Polymorph lets you take forms of the Aberration type... Polymorph into a Mindflayer? Or if we want to break into psionics... We -could- make some single use items that allow us to pull of becoming a sandwhi-- play toy sorry. :smallamused: Have that cohort carry us around and use us for those Perform checks. >=]

Dear Lord the pictures of mindflayers and drow flying around the internets.

Hmm, I'm not sure if you could use the perform skill anymore as a Psion Sandvi- Play Toy. Line of effect could be problematic as well.

Actually that does raise the question of what grappling does if it's non-hostile. Or if embraces don't count as grappling as long as they're not hostile. :smallconfused:

Also, yes, doomboy, Sovereign Glue is the item you're looking for attaching things to other things. Like albatrosses to gorillas.


And that's how the Dread Necromancer gave birth to a lung baby.

This reminds me of when the two elven necromancers disappeared and came back non-evil with dragon-coins in their purses...

Veros
2010-09-13, 12:07 AM
Ah but you see... Perform (sexual) is a Cha check... So NOTHING prevents you from doing it... Even if you can't perform strength and dex checks and don't have a con either for that matter... ^^; Even though as a Psionic Play toy you can't talk... Oddly it doesn't stop a diplomacy/intimidate check as long as the person is "willing to listen". :smallamused:

Player3
2010-09-13, 04:39 AM
Just my 2 bits, I don't think it was mentioned.

Virtuoso Performance is different from Bardic Music. The Virtuoso ability states that "an actor could perform a 'sustaining soliloquy' or 'sustaining dance' rather than a sustaining song." (em mine)

BoEF notes Celestials, Dryads, Fiends, Nymphs, Satyrs and Sprites as being able to choose whether or not to impregnate or become impregnated.

Doomboy911
2010-09-13, 06:07 PM
It's possible to have "relationships" while dancing just ask: James Dean, Elvis, The Who, Mick Jagger, Queen (minus Freddie that's impossible to pull off).

The mirror of life trapping is just my way to get to shortstop faster.

Crasical
2010-09-13, 10:08 PM
BoEF notes Celestials, Dryads, Fiends, Nymphs, Satyrs and Sprites as being able to choose whether or not to impregnate or become impregnated.

Don't most of those have pretty steep LA? .... Waitaminute, SPRITES? You'd play a pervirtuoso pixie?

Coidzor
2010-09-14, 01:22 AM
Don't most of those have pretty steep LA? .... Waitaminute, SPRITES? You'd play a pervirtuoso pixie?

But being invisible defeats half of the point of exhibiting!

Also, I don't think would work to give the benefits to one's allies.


The mirror of life trapping is just my way to get to shortstop faster.

What? :smallconfused:

Player3
2010-09-14, 01:24 AM
Don't most of those have pretty steep LA? .... Waitaminute, SPRITES? You'd play a pervirtuoso pixie?

That's one I was thinking, although the Satyr fits the theme perfectly and can fill most of the prereqs with just its fey HD. Although you'd have to take some diplomacy CC, if you had enough intelligence you could just take four ranks of intimidate with your one level of battle sorceror before going straight into pervirtuoso. Probably easier with one level of bard instead though.


But being invisible defeats half of the point of exhibiting!

Also, I don't think would work to give the benefits to one's allies.


The pixie can suppress and resume it as a free action.

What would be hilarious is if a Nymph used its ability while performing.

Crasical
2010-09-14, 01:47 AM
That's one I was thinking, although the Satyr fits the theme perfectly and can fill most of the prereqs with just its fey HD. Although you'd have to take some diplomacy CC, if you had enough intelligence you could just take four ranks of intimidate with your one level of battle sorceror before going straight into pervirtuoso. Probably easier with one level of bard instead though.

Part of the Pervirtuoso's strength is that it progresses casting 9/10, so going Bard gives you less-useful spells. In retrospect, going Battle Sorcerer cuts into your already-diminished spellpool and is also a bad idea, since you can take Able Learner and just buy both Intimidate and Diplomacy cross class, since they only need to be level 4 while your sexual perform is level 10.


A satyr is perfectly in theme, and a pixie is intriguing if a little frightning in the implications, though.

Crasical
2010-09-14, 03:13 PM
warforged.

Tangentially related, and proof that my mind works in weird loops, going nowhere:

Is it possible to negate or power through the charisma penalty and play a Warforged Pervirtuoso? Are you locked into the huge slabs of wood and metal that seems to be the standard for official art, or can you make a cute robot-girl?

Doomboy911
2010-09-14, 03:14 PM
I say we write this campaign but it has to have my acid trap.

Zaydos
2010-09-14, 03:15 PM
You're a sorcerer with 19th level casting. Yeah -2 Cha hurts, but it is not unplayable. Won't be optimal but you are still a tier 2 character and can afford non-optimal choices.

As for whether you're a cute little robot girl... depends upon the game; one where pervirtuoso would be allowed most likely yes.

The Glyphstone
2010-09-14, 04:06 PM
What? :smallconfused:

Shortstop is between second and third base, I think...but what that means in terms of innuendo I have no clue.:smallconfused:

RebelRogue
2010-09-14, 04:39 PM
Shortstop is between second and third base, I think...but what that means in terms of innuendo I have no clue.:smallconfused:
This seems oddly appropriate (and yet not at all useful): http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/base_system.png

:smallbiggrin:

Crasical
2010-09-14, 05:00 PM
This seems oddly appropriate (and yet not at all useful): [Snipped]
:smallbiggrin:

... What on earth is a retrograde wheelbarrow?

EDIT: SCIENCE


A warforged gets purchased by a royal family/very rich merchant client as a bodyguard for their very young daughter.

Daughter instinctively dislikes the warforged and runs away from it, preventing proper, efficient bodyguard duty.

Rich family pays money to retrofit the warforged into a young, female body, teach the girl that the warforged is a 'big sister' she needs to listen to.

Warforged starts to behave like a female due to being addressed as such, and being treated as such by the daughter.

[SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS]

Warforged no longer employed, is now a cute robot girl adventurer

Uncertainty
2010-09-14, 05:46 PM
Shortstop is between second and third base, I think...but what that means in terms of innuendo I have no clue.:smallconfused:

Considering that the mirror essentially gives you an image of a person with all of their *ahem*... equipment... removed, I don't think it's hard to imagine what he was getting at.

Or I might just be letting my imagination get away with me.

Edit:

This seems oddly appropriate (and yet not at all useful):

<snip>

:smallbiggrin:

May be a good idea to swap that for a link, though it is indeed both relevant and hilarious...

Player3
2010-09-14, 06:08 PM
I say we write this campaign but it has to have my acid trap.

You do realise it really is just 6d6 force damage +1 acid (or +1d6 acid depending on the GM). It's an average magical trap.

However, I always wondered if dropping a sackful of alchemists fire on someone would stack up the damage.

Uncertainty
2010-09-14, 06:12 PM
You do realise it really is just 6d6 force damage +1 acid (or +1d6 acid depending on the GM). It's an average magical trap.

However, I always wondered if dropping a sackful of alchemists fire on someone would stack up the damage.

Chunky salsa rule?

Does having a grenade go off 1/2 a foot from your face qualify for it?

Crasical
2010-09-14, 06:34 PM
Chunky salsa rule?

Does having a grenade go off 1/2 a foot from your face qualify for it?

For a pervirtuoso, ANY damage to their face is a grave and deadly serious issue.
Like a wizard avoiding damage to his hands, or a bard damage to his vocal cords.

RebelRogue
2010-09-14, 06:37 PM
May be a good idea to swap that for a link, though it is indeed both relevant and hilarious...
You're probably right... Done!

Zhalath
2010-09-14, 07:12 PM
That's one I was thinking, although the Satyr fits the theme perfectly and can fill most of the prereqs with just its fey HD. Although you'd have to take some diplomacy CC, if you had enough intelligence you could just take four ranks of intimidate with your one level of battle sorceror before going straight into pervirtuoso. Probably easier with one level of bard instead though.



The pixie can suppress and resume it as a free action.

What would be hilarious is if a Nymph used its ability while performing.
Buff your buddies and then blind them. It's their fault for looking.



For a pervirtuoso, ANY damage to their face is a grave and deadly serious issue.
Like a wizard avoiding damage to his hands, or a bard damage to his vocal cords.
You could wear a mask. Add to the mystery.
Because if there's one thing that draws your attention more than...well, yeah, it's someone doing...yeah, with a mask on.

Uncertainty
2010-09-14, 09:54 PM
You could wear a mask. Add to the mystery.
Because if there's one thing that draws your attention more than...well, yeah, it's someone doing...yeah, with a mask on.

Which brings up the question... What would a masterwork tool for Perform(Sexual) be? Is it even possible to get one?

BladeofOblivion
2010-09-14, 09:55 PM
Which brings up the question... What would a masterwork tool for Perform(Sexual) be? Is it even possible to get one?

An... ...Extra?

Coidzor
2010-09-14, 10:51 PM
Which brings up the question... What would a masterwork tool for Perform(Sexual) be? Is it even possible to get one?

What wouldn't it be! :smallwink:

Heliomance
2010-09-15, 05:11 AM
Which brings up the question... What would a masterwork tool for Perform(Sexual) be? Is it even possible to get one?

A humourously shaped carrot.

Player3
2010-09-15, 05:18 AM
Chunky salsa rule?

Does having a grenade go off 1/2 a foot from your face qualify for it?

If that were the case, explosive runes in general would be the most powerful spell in the game. As it is you already get no save vs the damage because you are so close. As for a vial of acid, a crit-throw wouldn't kill anything that could take an explosive runes to the face anyway.

Uncertainty
2010-09-15, 08:28 AM
What wouldn't it be! :smallwink:

True dat.



If that were the case, explosive runes in general would be the most powerful spell in the game. As it is you already get no save vs the damage because you are so close. As for a vial of acid, a crit-throw wouldn't kill anything that could take an explosive runes to the face anyway.

Yeah, nvm.

Zhalath
2010-09-15, 08:32 PM
Which brings up the question... What would a masterwork tool for Perform(Sexual) be? Is it even possible to get one?

Y'know, I think it would be any other masterwork tool. You just need to be able to describe it well enough :smallwink:

Baator, this whole topic is :smallwink::smallwink::smallwink::smallwink:

Doomboy911
2010-09-15, 09:30 PM
Perhaps your partner is the instrument.

Ryu_Bonkosi
2010-09-15, 09:50 PM
Which brings up the question... What would a masterwork tool for Perform(Sexual) be? Is it even possible to get one?

Could your partner count as one if their Cha is high enough?

Zaydos
2010-09-15, 09:55 PM
Could your partner count as one if their Cha is high enough?

They already give you a +2. Aid Another is such a beautiful thing.

Tiki Snakes
2010-09-16, 01:00 AM
Masterwork Tool? Think 'Accessories'.

If that doesn't give you any ideas, bless your innocent little heart. :smallwink:
You could always browse the Anne Summers website for ideas, I guess.

Doomboy911
2010-09-16, 06:00 AM
I suppose you could find some sticks and play the underwear like a guitar.

Coidzor
2010-09-16, 07:22 AM
I suppose you could find some sticks and play the underwear like a guitar.

Except you'd only have the G-string.

So... We got nothing, then?

Uncertainty
2010-09-16, 07:53 AM
Perhaps your partner is the instrument.

Very, very true.

Perhaps your partner should be another bard? One with Perform(Oratory) or Perform(Sing)?

Heliomance
2010-09-16, 08:25 AM
Very, very true.

Perhaps your partner should be another bard? One with Perform(Oral) or Perform(Sing)?

Fixed that for you

Leon
2010-09-16, 10:09 AM
But being invisible defeats half of the point of exhibiting!


Not as much - allows for better positioning for maximun effect and then drop the Invis effect

Doomboy911
2010-09-16, 02:13 PM
You could collect more than one piece of underwear for your guitar.
Is there such a skill as craft instrument?

Crasical
2010-09-16, 02:20 PM
Fairly sure the BoEF has rules and gold prices for 'toys', though I don't know if it's stated if they come in masterwork or not, or if they give a +2 bonus for being masterwork tools.

Anyone deviant enough to become a pervirtuoso isn't going to be happy with just a single masterwork tool, though. You'd need a backpack filled with masterwork toys so you always have the right one of the job, which is going to quickly get A. Expensive B. Embarrassing for the party, especially if you went all Patchouli Knowledge and used Str as your dump stat and forced the barbarian to carry your gear.

Doomboy911
2010-09-16, 04:04 PM
Dude the pervirtuoso is similar to a rockstar he'll have his groupies carry his toys. Also couldn't he use suggestion on the girls to make them carry it.

Coidzor
2010-09-16, 04:28 PM
You could collect more than one piece of underwear for your guitar.
Is there such a skill as craft instrument?

Yes, though really, if you're going to such lengths, you might as well break down and just make it a cello or bass (depending upon the size of the wearer of the underwear in question)

Uncertainty
2010-09-16, 06:49 PM
Fairly sure the BoEF has rules and gold prices for 'toys', though I don't know if it's stated if they come in masterwork or not, or if they give a +2 bonus for being masterwork tools.

Anyone deviant enough to become a pervirtuoso isn't going to be happy with just a single masterwork tool, though. You'd need a backpack filled with masterwork toys so you always have the right one of the job, which is going to quickly get A. Expensive B. Embarrassing for the party, especially if you went all Patchouli Knowledge and used Str as your dump stat and forced the barbarian to carry your gear.

Two things...

1: Bag of Holding
2: Artificer
Edit
3: Beg the DM for custom magic item creation. Any ideas?

Coidzor
2010-09-16, 07:17 PM
3: Beg the DM for custom magic item creation. Any ideas?

If you're going custom magic item creation, can't go wrong with hammer space.

Or do you mean custom magic item creation in terms of the toys?

Uncertainty
2010-09-16, 07:21 PM
Or do you mean custom magic item creation in terms of the toys?

Indeed :smallcool:.

Doomboy911
2010-09-17, 03:52 PM
Yes but what toys could there be?
Candles that erase memory?

Coidzor
2010-09-17, 03:56 PM
Indeed :smallcool:.

Evard's black tentacle's. Bigby's hands. Animate rope. A boatload of stuff from Nymphology and BOEF....

Tiki Snakes
2010-09-17, 04:39 PM
Yes but what toys could there be?
Candles that erase memory?

If you have to ask, you're probably too young to be provided a link. :smallwink:

Uncertainty
2010-09-17, 06:52 PM
If you have to ask, you're probably too young to be provided a link. :smallwink:

I think the point here is that being able to create magic items opens up many more interesting and creative possibilities...

Veros
2010-09-17, 06:54 PM
If you have to ask, you're probably too young to be provided a link. :smallwink:

This. >=D I'm only 18 and I have ideas for tons of toys.

But the reverse is also possible... You could be too old and we don't want to ruin your last few years of existence with a link to "toys".

Coidzor
2010-09-17, 06:58 PM
But the reverse is also possible... You could be too old and we don't want to ruin your last few years of existence with a link to "toys".

I dunno, might be an enriching experience to keep on learning new things right up to Death's Door.

Doomboy911
2010-09-17, 10:13 PM
I wouldn't mind teaching the folks a few tricks on my death bed.

Crasical
2010-09-18, 08:16 PM
That's a hell of a thing to dump your WBL into. Though I guess you probably won't bother buying weapons or armor with this build anyway.

The Glyphstone
2010-09-18, 08:51 PM
If you have to ask, you're probably too young to be provided a link. :smallwink:


i am 12 and what is this?:smallbiggrin:

Doomboy911
2010-09-18, 10:04 PM
It seems like more of a support class perhaps the warlord would be better.

Nanoblack
2010-09-19, 08:20 AM
Alright I thought this up as a instant kill.

A bottle of acid with small instructions written on them upon closer examination you see that it's runes that explode when read. The instructions are small enough that one would have to hold it up to their face.
You can see where this is going.


Crushing wall trap that also floods the room with lava... and spiders.

Crasical
2010-09-19, 01:28 PM
It seems like more of a support class perhaps the warlord would be better.

This is 3.5, Is there a 'warlord' base class in this edition?

The_JJ
2010-09-19, 01:35 PM
Why are you people on topic and asking about warlords? That is so no longer the real reason this thread exists. :smalltongue:

Nanoblack
2010-09-19, 08:41 PM
I think thread derailment might just be "The most ... move in the world".
:smallbiggrin:

Doomboy911
2010-09-19, 09:14 PM
No complaints. The topic has diversify and now we have so many options what is the jerkiest move ever (perhaps making someone face the pervirtuoso).

How about a trap with two spike walls moving in on you and a window above you can climb into and as you're climbing poison seeps out of the spikes.

Crasical
2010-09-20, 06:25 PM
No complaints. The topic has diversify and now we have so many options what is the jerkiest move ever (perhaps making someone face the pervirtuoso).

How about a trap with two spike walls moving in on you and a window above you can climb into and as you're climbing poison seeps out of the spikes.

I think that one can be simplified as [Dangerous, obvious trap] -> [Obvious escape route] -> [Escape route is also a (possibly more subtly dangerous) trap]

Scow2
2010-09-20, 08:59 PM
What? This went back on subject?

Well, the answer to this is design the lair with Tucker's Kobolds.

Level 1 pests played in a manner to TPK an Epic-level party.

Uncertainty
2010-09-20, 09:20 PM
What? This went back on subject?

Well, the answer to this is design the lair with Tucker's Kobolds.

Level 1 pests played in a manner to TPK an Epic-level party.

What is this? Tell me more?

(Off-topic again: What do people here think of the idea of having an NPC Pervirtuoso? BBEG?)

Valameer
2010-09-20, 09:43 PM
(thread original rails)

Polymorph any Object shenanigans. A black slime into chewing gum. A boulder into chewing gum. Actually, any number of things into chewing gum. See how dangerous gum can be!

(thread deviate rails)

Add leadership onto the pervirtuouso for a whole new meaning for 'aid another.'

Zaydos
2010-09-20, 10:15 PM
What is this? Tell me more?

(Off-topic again: What do people here think of the idea of having an NPC Pervirtuoso? BBEG?)

Tucker's Kobolds is what kobolds with super-traps are called because of a 2nd edition game where a DM named Tucker created a dungeon where kobolds managed to TPK a high level party. At one point there was a thread on these forums about making Tucker's Kobolds for 3rd edition, I don't know how it went.

Deviant response: Make it a succubus or an evil nymph.


(thread original rails)

Polymorph any Object shenanigans. A black slime into chewing gum. A boulder into chewing gum. Actually, any number of things into chewing gum. See how dangerous gum can be!

(thread deviate rails)

Add leadership onto the pervirtuouso for a whole new meaning for 'aid another.'

The last posted pervirtuouso had Leadership, and a familiar, for the purposes of 'aid another'.

Nanoblack
2010-09-21, 01:56 AM
Rather than continuing to go 50/50 on each of your posts, why doesn't one of you just start a pervertuoso thread?

(Maintaining original topic...)

How about a black pudding with the... I think it was chicken taster class by M-bark? It forces itself down your throat and melts you from the inside out.

2xMachina
2010-09-21, 07:51 AM
Mixing both!

Trap, BAM! You drop into a pit where there is a ghoul pervertuoso...

Uncertainty
2010-09-21, 08:21 AM
Mixing both!

Trap, BAM! You drop into a pit where there is a ghoul pervertuoso...

Oh god, the horror...

(Suddenly reminded of Edgar Allen Poe's The Pit and the Pendulum...)

Heliomance
2010-09-21, 01:22 PM
Does gestalting the Pervirtuoso with Thrallherd smack too uncomfortably of non-con?

The Glyphstone
2010-09-21, 01:38 PM
Oh god, the horror...

(Suddenly reminded of Edgar Allen Poe's The Pit and the Pendulum...)

You'd have to make sure the pendulum swung both ways...:smallwink:

Jeff the Green
2010-09-21, 01:52 PM
Does gestalting the Pervirtuoso with Thrallherd smack too uncomfortably of non-con?

I think that's rather completely non-con. YMMV on whether that's uncomfortable...

Zaydos
2010-09-21, 02:07 PM
I think that's rather completely non-con. YMMV on whether that's uncomfortable...

QFT. It makes me think of vampires in fiction too.

If we're throwing gestalt into the mix, though... hmm... this could get interesting.

Actually I'd do something cliche and lame like gestalting it with a succubus or nymph.

Crasical
2010-09-21, 09:09 PM
QFT. It makes me think of vampires in fiction too.

If we're throwing gestalt into the mix, though... hmm... this could get interesting.

Actually I'd do something cliche and lame like gestalting it with a succubus or nymph.

Gestalt it with a Succubus, then when you run out of succubus levels, start taking Mindbender.


Maybe we should make a dedicated pervirtuoso thread. Show of hands?

Coidzor
2010-09-21, 09:49 PM
Gestalt it with a Succubus, then when you run out of succubus levels, start taking Mindbender.


Maybe we should make a dedicated pervirtuoso thread. Show of hands?

I'm game for it, though I'm not sure what more can be said. Probably a dedicated thread with an OP collating the more pertinent bits might jog some ideas out.

RebelRogue
2010-09-21, 10:07 PM
A thread for those who thought theoretical opimization was perverse in nature... They've ain't seen nothing yet :smallbiggrin: