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Tyndmyr
2010-09-30, 09:02 AM
Every campaign inevitibly involves unwritten rules that you must not break. What are yours?

1. The kender must die.
2. The warforged can only address his teammates as "Sam Witwicky".
3. If the warforged is a druid, he must make sound effects when shapeshifting.
4. The rogue is not permitted to buy six gallons of grease and a magnifying glass, since the incident.
5. If more than one character uses alter self at the same time, wonder twin references are explicitly banned.
6. The same is also true for PaO.
7. And every other wierd way to turn yourself into random objects.
8. Yes, a turnip is a random object. It counts.
9. When you find a suspicious hole, sticking something in is appropriate. Just not that.
10. Yes, a 10 foot pole would be appropriate. No. It's not 10 feet. Stop asking.
11. No, you cannot build a portable house consisting entirely of nested bags of holding.
12. You really should not shove ring gates through each other.
13. If you DO, it does not invert the universe.
14. The elf is not scotty, and teleportation does not involve beams.
15. No, you may not get him "likkered up" before teleportation.

BeholderSlayer
2010-09-30, 09:17 AM
16. Jake is always trying to game the system, no matter what class he's playing.

Aharon
2010-09-30, 09:18 AM
Completely OT:
Tyndmyr, you have one of the most irritating sigs ever. I read what you write, consider the information contained within, and then am told that it was a lie. It's aggravating :smalltongue:

dsmiles
2010-09-30, 09:35 AM
The 10 commandments of gaming at Dave's Table:

1. Thou shalt have fun, at all costs.

2. Munchkins will be politely asked to 'tone it down.' Failure to comply will result in ejection. Via ejector seat. Through the roof.

3. The book is always right, until the end of the session when we make a houserule to cover the bit in question.

4. He/She who laughs last, usually didn't get the joke, and shall be taunted mercilessly.

5. Making the DM squirt *insert drink here* out of his nose, with an IC action, is worth bonus XP.

6. He/She who brings the snacks may gain plot armor based on the delicousness of the profferd noms.

7. Marbles are more fun than caltrops.

8. Stay awake. I have big foamy dice, and I'm not afraid to use them.

9. I keep a copy of your character sheet at every level. Do not ask why.

10. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. I am DM, the great and powerful.

Ormur
2010-09-30, 09:51 AM
1. Casting cloudkill on a busy street will result in being eaten by the dragon.

2. No, the unicorn is not pink, even though it's his name.

3. Ignoring your detect evil at will ability is the polite thing to do.

4. Likewise the paladin/exalted character should refrain from putting ranks in sense motive.

5. In turn the obviously evil party member should refrain from harvesting his kidneys.

6. Don't point out that the NPC Bard is singing a Disney Villain Song (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VillainSong) until after the first verse.

The Rose Dragon
2010-09-30, 10:03 AM
1. The Narrator, under any and all circumstances, is allowed to punch you in your stupid face.

2. The Narrator is not allowed to abuse this power.

3. Someone will suggest having sex with a male elf. It does not matter if elves exist in the setting, but someone will do it. Pray to gods it's not the Narrator.

4. The Narrator is not allowed to let rocks fall where there is no feasible way for the rocks to fall, such as in the middle of an open desert. Sandstorms are OK, though.

5. What happened in the Band Camp, stays in the Band Camp.

Psyx
2010-09-30, 10:05 AM
No knitting at the table: This includes chain-mail.

No laptops. And stop fiddling with your 'phone.

No, James. Whatever it is: No.

GM does not make the tea.

When the combat is over... it's time for a smoke break.

Any package of confectionery, cookies or biscuits is to be shared out evenly. If there's a spare one, it goes to the person who bought them. A spare second one goes to the GM. A spare third one goes to whoever is fastest.

Dave will always play a psychotic killing machine.

'Other' James will always play a straight mage or healer/tank.

Causing anyone to spray drink from their nose is good for bonus XP.

The secret door is behind the throne.

Don't touch the evil alter.

Grenade damage is never enough... it's been house-ruled.

If a flute or other small wind instrument lands on your head... Consider it a warning shot. Whatever you were doing... stop it. A piano will be next.

If the game designers don't have a clue what they're on about, it's fair game for house-rules.

Yes, I can kill you with an orbital piano. I don't care how you've 'optimised' the rules.

Whatever snap judgement I've made for 'rule of cool' purposes... it doesn't set a rules precedent.

Grommen
2010-09-30, 11:10 AM
1. Always observe the Flying elf rule. Specially if you are a flying elf.
2. Elves do not have wings. If a god had intended them to fly, they would have wings. Elves should not fly just because they can. They will be shot.....See rule #4.
3. Calling out the DM on a rule in the middle of a fight is a very good way to die. Both in character and out. :smallfurious:
4. Samuel Colt made great efforts to make all men equal. The Panther Assault Cannon company perfected this. You have been warned.
5. If I have to find a silly, poorly worded, way around your silly, poorly worded ability. You will suffer.
6. I reserve the right to "smite" anything when running a campaign. :smallbiggrin:
7. Don't be a %$#$. Nobody likes you when you do that.
8. No more Disney movie pets. This includes sentient beings, mercenary companies, large armies, masses of summoned monsters and especially kobalds armed with a wand of wonder (well ok perhaps that one can stay, it's funny).
9. Because the DM asks you to just go along with it, just for a second. Does not constitute you crying your being railroaded yet again.
10. Yes the DM likes your character. Why else would the DM do the horribly bad things they are doing to your character?

Think that is my current top ten.

Cogidubnus
2010-09-30, 12:56 PM
1) Someone has to supply food.

2) Kieran can't carry x+1 gallons of highly flammable liquid in his bag of holding - especially not by writing "assorted liquids" under equipment.

3) Assorted liquids cannot include that. Or that.

4) Casting spells while drunk will ALWAYS end badly.

5) Fights while drunk will usually end well.

6) I have a piano cannon secreted on a mountain fortress with cover fire by other piano cannons and a Wish for a permanent anti-magic field around each of them. So don't be daft.

7) These are ethereal Ghost Touch pianos, so they will pass through walls until they hit you.

Skorj
2010-09-30, 02:03 PM
1) Unstable explosives shall not be considered party treasure (this came up so often we had to formally agree on it as a rule).

2) If you bring snacks, you can claim them as yours alone, but if you leave them behind until next session, all bets are off.

Sleepingbear
2010-09-30, 02:38 PM
1. The DM makes all calls in game.

2. The Players reserve the right to hang the DM from the balcony by his ankles until he changes a call made in the game.

3. The DM should also keep in mind that three of four of his players have over a decade of military experience each.

4. The DM should also keep in mind that the players are better armed then their characters.

5. If Ollie is giggling, tell him no. Now.

6. If Chris is giggling, hand him the box of D6's.

7. If Matt is giggling, cut off the donut supply.

8. If Dave is giggling, stop the session. Now. Even if it hasn't started.

9. If Dave says, "I tried to stop them but they wouldn't listen." End the Campaign.

10. If Dave is in the bathroom, Ollie is not permitted to suggest or implement plans.

11. If you don't like making lots of characters, don't make lots of Halflings.

12. Or Drow.

13. If Rob is playing a character, it's name shall be named Brian and it shall be a brick/tank.

14. Even if it's a she.

15. If Sarah is playing a psychic, the other players shall sing the 'No strings' song.

16. If Rick thinks it's awesome and powerful, it isn't.

17. Rick shall not give his wizard character Toughness.

18. Or Improved Toughness.

19. Everyone contributes to the cost of pizza or they starve.

20. Players who play in character and steal from or PVP other party members will join the DM on the balcony until their characters motiviations change.

JonestheSpy
2010-09-30, 02:54 PM
Let the villain have his damn monologue!

Keld Denar
2010-09-30, 03:02 PM
I'll just leave this here...

Rules number 1 - 2500. (http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/captainjarlot/all.html)

I hope you have a LOT of free time.

Break
2010-09-30, 03:27 PM
I'll just leave this here...

Rules number 1 - 2500. (http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/captainjarlot/all.html)

I hope you have a LOT of free time.

I'll do you one better.

How about the up-to-date version of the Mr. Welch list (1825 at the time of this writing), the RPG.net version thereof (which shares the first few hundred entries of the former), and the Eberron rules you linked over, all in one text file? (http://slexy.org/view/s2TSywDJVo)

I hope you have roughly three times as much free time. =P

Ignition
2010-09-30, 03:43 PM
My one rule is more of an ethos:

The DM is not lying to you. Your fellow players are lying to you. That said, you and your fellow players are still up against the DM, and you have to work together to meet the challenges of the DM, regardless of how much you want to kill your fellow players for lying to you. You will fail, and that's okay because your failures will reward you in the long run. You will succeed, but never enjoy your successes, because your successes will punish you in the long run. Role-playing will make you hate yourself, and your friends, and various invisible forces such as Fate and Luck. Role-playing is worth it in ways that no other hobby can be. You, and nothing else, make role-playing worth it.

Traveler
2010-09-30, 03:45 PM
1. Jokes may be made about anybody for anything. Any resulting anger issues may be resolved ingame.
2. No fireballing commoners, ever.
3. You may light the bar/tavern/inn on fire.
4. You may not gloat when ruining the DMs encounters.
5. The DM may not gloat when killing multiply PCs at the same time.
6. Rule five does not apply to the wizard.
7. Rule of cool does not always rule when levitate is involved.
8. Guards can appear out of thin air on demand.
9. Movie quotes may be rewarded with xp.
10. Any of these rules may be changed as needed.

DukeofDellot
2010-09-30, 04:51 PM
1) While "Sex Appeal (HT/A)" may be the "Single Greatest Skill of all Time", it does not work on Monsters.
2) Combat only represents a small part of the game, and encounters will be adjusted to the level of competence displayed in battle, so building a character who "Knows nothing but Battle" will lead to nothing more than you having to sit through a lot of everyone else having fun, don't do it.
3) Yes, I came up with it on the spot, spontaneity is precious, and isn't due to the lack of planning, you just screwed up my plot!
4) Attacks of Opportunity are stupid. I will provide other options to return the power to melee combat that make more sense, but you WILL wait for your turn to attack.
5) You're character concept cannot be, "I was told by my God to kill the other PCs."
6) Seriously, you need to give a reason you won't just kill the other Party Members when you first meet.
7) Yes, that's a Girl at the table. No, Sex Appeal does not work on Party Members.
8) Murdering an innocent ALWAYS has repercussions... even if you think it's "Cool" to make a Zombie strapped with Explosives.
9) Half of my Dice Rolls are just for show. I know what's going to happen, and even though ten percent of the time the numbers do not land exactly where I think they will, I will adjust for them... now you have to roll for Fast Talk, possibly at a penalty, every time you try to convince one of my NPCs that you're their "Lord and Master that they must obey or death will befall them"...
10) You may ask my help on building a character, and I will answer your question a dozen times over, but if you don't have a reason that you'd be anything more than just a random encounter that the other players would have to fight, I'm not building it for you.

...

11) You may NOT take "Compulsive Murderous Behavior" as a Disadvantage... that's free points.

Morph Bark
2010-09-30, 06:29 PM
Our Ten Commandments are as follows:


1. If your name is Roy, your characters shall always be some form of paladin, even if they don't have levels in the Paladin class.

2. Always get healing in the party, even if the DM offers a wand of Cure Light Wounds.

3. There shall always be an NPC named Bob. Bob will also inevitably die. Soon.

4. If Bob never showed up, he was already dead.

5. There will always be a character named Henk, who will always be one of the world's Strongest.

6. Whatever you do, Dorona could do it.

7. If Dorona couldn't do it, his friends could make him do it anyway.

8. The orphans will be adopted.

8. The orphans WILL be adopted.

9. If the adoptees aren't orphans, they will soon be.

10. Whatever your alignment, you can get along if you're trying to get booze.

11. When the DM smiles, most of the time, it really is just a smile. Most of the other times it is a trap that won't go off 'til next session.

big teej
2010-09-30, 06:43 PM
3. If the warforged is a druid, he must make sound effects when shapeshifting.


http://crackberry.com/transformers-sound-effect

a while back I saw warforged druids referenced as Beast wars transformers

this, combined with the apparatus of the crab, led me to make this a quick-access sound effect for our games.



also, my contributions, from my gaming group left at home.
- I"m the DM, I CAN AND WILL smite thee if I have too
- don't play elves.
- don't play elves while -my name- is DMing
- "guys, just because I'm DMing, picking on the elf doesn't earn you brownie points.... it gets you smited"
- first session of a new campaign/group, DM provides all munchies, after that, everyone takes responsibility for something, or eat before you come
- 'paper rolls' don't count, whether they be 1, 20, or anything else
- die must land on the table
- we do not make homo-erotic jokes about the barbarian who could kill the party
- especially if/when his player is DMing
- if you power game, I will smite you
- if you goof off, I will throw the kleenex at you
- "I don't care if we're doing it 'wrong' it's working, so STFU! we'll figure it out later"
- alignment is not a straightjacket
- just because you're a paladin, does not mean you need to smite everything that pings as evil.....
- especially not that one really shiney copper piece we found in the treasure hoard
- you can play evil, but if you break the party, I will break you....
- unless the party's in on it
- playing a female 18 charisma sorcerer with "epic cleavage" will cause the player, the character, and eventually the party, to be smited.
- vehemently
- always remember to have at least half the pizza be cheese
- hungry DM's = smite happy DM's
- if you hit on the female players, I will smite you.
- the DM is allowed to invest in a LARP warhammer for smiting purposes...


on an unrelated not.....
looking back at these list of rules........
we did alot of smiting......
my feelings about this observation were the following, in order.

:smalleek::smallfrown::smallconfused::smallamused: :smallbiggrin::smallredface::smallsigh:

now. for my contributions from my group on campus (watch this one for edits, sunday is session 3 for us)
....
.......
- DM provides all munchies for session 1
- as the DM runs out of leftovers, players are responsible for snacks
- telling the DM that you're going to power game 4 days before the session just gives him 4 days to come up with anti-powergaming and smiting tactics.
- good luck powergaming with only the dndwiki and the DMG.

and thats it for now.

things people beat me to saying, but would totally be on my list


6. I reserve the right to "smite" anything when running a campaign. :smallbiggrin:




4) Casting spells while drunk will ALWAYS end badly.

.

I'm loving this thread

with permission of the OP when I get around to making the out-of-character counterpart to http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=170073
I'm going to use a great number of the things listed here.

Tyndmyr
2010-09-30, 07:20 PM
- the DM is allowed to invest in a LARP warhammer for smiting purposes...

Awesome. I use a bastard sword. Unless they run. Then I use the longbow.


with permission of the OP when I get around to making the out-of-character counterpart to http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=170073
I'm going to use a great number of the things listed here.

Knock yourself out. Anything I post is pretty much free to be used or quoted by anyone.

dsmiles
2010-09-30, 07:41 PM
My one rule is more of an ethos:

The DM is not lying to you. Your fellow players are lying to you. That said, you and your fellow players are still up against the DM, and you have to work together to meet the challenges of the DM, regardless of how much you want to kill your fellow players for lying to you.

You play Paranoia, don't you?

Tyndmyr
2010-09-30, 07:52 PM
You play Paranoia, don't you?

You're not cleared to know that, citizen. Please resume your usual happiness.

MeatShield#236
2010-09-30, 08:11 PM
Some random rules my group has:

1. If someone says a double entendre, everyone must take a drink.
2. Never, EVER, mention longswords.
3. All warforged explode when they die.
4. Your actions have consequences; if you're stupid enough to try and overcharge the barbarian drunk on 75% milk with hand puppets, you're going to get your arms chopped off.
5. The players decide where to go and what to do. The DM decide what happens.

We have a strange group...:smalltongue:

big teej
2010-09-30, 08:11 PM
Awesome. I use a bastard sword. Unless they run. Then I use the longbow.



Knock yourself out. Anything I post is pretty much free to be used or quoted by anyone.


misfortunately.... I have not yet invested in said warhammer........
short of funds


also
I meant I was going to use the entire thread
so I (think I) need the each person's permission

idk, I was never that good at citing sorces :smallsigh:

Tyndmyr
2010-09-30, 08:23 PM
Ah, sounds good.

At the risk of slight derailment, I reccomend the following for beating your players into the proper pose of submission and fear: http://www.wynar.com/for-a-beatin-good-time.html. I know the gent that uses the warhammer fourth down on the left col, and it is indeed awesome.


Meatshield, about #3....that only applies to warforged?:smalleek:

MeatShield#236
2010-09-30, 08:34 PM
Yeah. The crazy part is that the blast radius gets bigger as they go up in level. Our high-level warforged spellsword was a walking mini-nuke...

Oh, and another rule:

6. Don't complain when the monsters actually use tactics. Not ever fight is straightforward.

big teej
2010-09-30, 08:44 PM
Ah, sounds good.

At the risk of slight derailment, I reccomend the following for beating your players into the proper pose of submission and fear: http://www.wynar.com/for-a-beatin-good-time.html. I know the gent that uses the warhammer fourth down on the left col, and it is indeed awesome.


Meatshield, about #3....that only applies to warforged?:smalleek:

I don't suppose there's a "larp spiked chain" is there?

I REEEEAAAALLLY wanna use that whole "chain of command" thing

Curmudgeon
2010-09-30, 09:38 PM
Mordenkainen's Disjunction kills the game (because it's in every player's interest to look up the saving throw for every single one of their dozens of magic items to see if it's better than their character's, and this can literally take hours at the high levels where that spell is possible), so nobody uses it.

Gensh
2010-09-30, 10:07 PM
Meh. I had some rough guidelines with my old group. Most of these came from my first campaign because most of the others didn't last more than a few sessions.

1. Don't touch the blue soda. That's mine, and most people don't like it anyway.
2. Yes, you can permanently set up your base in the brothel. Make a Fortitude save vs. syphilis.
3. Yes, it's a bad idea attacking the son of the god of war in the middle of his own city.
4. A demigod dying for plot reasons doesn't mean you can kill one.
5. Unless you roll a 20.
6. Ignore debates about the tier system. The monk is carrying the entire party, and you all know it.
7. Never again will there be taint. Yes, vile damage is a sign that you're being chaotic stupid. Go hang out with the NPC paladin for a while to get rid of it.
8. Jack may be in every campaign, but each version is unique. Stop asking him questions about a certain half-giant bard.
9. You will never find the skank.
10. Don't try to grope the paladin's twin sister. Who else will pay you to mindlessly kill things?
11. The cat is a fifteenth-level bard. Do not question it; just accept the morale bonus.
12. The cat can read infernal.
13. You can't speak cat.
14. Stabbing yourself in the stomach without telling me it's to prove a point is considered a coup de grace. What? You wanted to roll a new character anyway!
15. Alejandro the barbarian isn't just illiterate but also mute. You need to stop killing people when the first five minutes of interrogation don't work out well.
16. Mikey can no longer play a necromancer. Ever. Regardless of game system.
17. Peter may not play a desert wind/shadow hand swordsage. Just because it exists doesn't mean it's fine in my game, even if I allowed warblade. Especially after tainted scholar.
18. The ditsy male stripper is always the backup NPC healer. Don't ask why.
19. The DM is no longer allowed to introduce clones, twins, or otherwise identical characters.
20. The phrase "soul vomit" is not to be used.
21. Power corrupts. Owning "Sin City" leads to the creation of a Utopian society. Go figure.
22. Under no circumstances can Tyler's character be interrupted from trophy collecting. Interfering bards will have their eyes plucked instead.
23. If a one-time summoned monster has more kills than you even have assists, retire the character.
24. The man in the cloak is not a dwarf. He's 6'5" for Jack's sake!
25. Yes, it's a bad idea to work for the CE god of atheism in the hopes of scoring with his wife.
26. Gender is subjective. You just groped this game's Jack, by the way. Again.
27. Don't attack the man riding the flying elephant at level 1.
28. STOP FIREBALLING RANDOM CROWDS OF COMMONERS. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU OWN THE CITY.
29. If the previous session was a TPK, and you're the only one out of the current group who was there, and I restart the campaign from the beginning, don't make the rest of the party chase after your old character.
30. If the previous session was a TPK, and it's the third time I'm starting the campaign, you get bonus XP for initiating the circumstances that caused the first party's quest, which started the second party's quest, then proceeding to use IC means to discover both your own corpses and shamelessly looting them.

Tyndmyr
2010-09-30, 10:18 PM
I don't suppose there's a "larp spiked chain" is there?

I REEEEAAAALLLY wanna use that whole "chain of command" thing

I haven't seen one personally. I have been known to make weapons, though...and the idea is darned appealing.

I'm not sure that any responsible larp organization would allow an actual whip to be used on humans, but then again....DMs treating players as humans? There's gotta be a rule against that.

big teej
2010-09-30, 10:36 PM
I haven't seen one personally. I have been known to make weapons, though...and the idea is darned appealing.

I'm not sure that any responsible larp organization would allow an actual whip to be used on humans, but then again....DMs treating players as humans? There's gotta be a rule against that.

why not? its only like d3 damage..... even if it can tear leather armour to shreds :smallwink:


seriously though, I'm just thinking like a foam-rubber and/or wont-cause-concussions-material chain....

because I can't use my bracelet.... that HURTS


yes, I do have a length chain for a bracelet. be jealous.

dsmiles
2010-10-01, 04:43 AM
yes, I do have a length chain for a bracelet. be jealous.

Sorry, not jealous.
Just kinda creeped out.:smalltongue:

Project_Mayhem
2010-10-01, 05:10 AM
Very few rules at our table.

Vampire is pronounced Wampire, as our DM is Norwegian.

By logical extrapolation, any words used in semantic proximity to a wampire have at bare minimum the 'v's and 'w's swapped

Magnus will always burn the pizza.

Norwegian is a silly language and will be mocked at any opportunity.

The fact that all the npcs have Norwegian accents, however, will not be commented on.

MrLich
2010-10-01, 09:36 AM
I just had to quote a few because of their supreme awesomeness and my wishing I had known these before a few games lol.


1. The kender must die.
3. If the warforged is a druid, he must make sound effects when shapeshifting.
9. When you find a suspicious hole, sticking something in is appropriate. Just not that.
15. No, you may not get him "likkered up" before teleportation.

It's a never a good idea to let the drunk wizard/swashbuckler to teleport you around...


1. The Narrator, under any and all circumstances, is allowed to punch you in your stupid face.


Best rule ever... should be enforced in all games!



No, James. Whatever it is: No.

When the combat is over... it's time for a smoke break.

Whatever snap judgement I've made for 'rule of cool' purposes... it doesn't set a rules precedent.

The first one is magnificent because in my last campaign James was the name of our Big Dumb Fighter tm and I personally said those exact words numerous times. Second one is a must and if it's an especially long combat smoke breaks may be called at the end of a round.


Mordenkainen's Disjunction kills the game (because it's in every player's interest to look up the saving throw for every single one of their dozens of magic items to see if it's better than their character's, and this can literally take hours at the high levels where that spell is possible), so nobody uses it.

Yea playing a gestalt campaign where one side is a super specialist arcane caster and the Abjurer has more Disjunctions than god was not as good as it sounded. Once you break the Disjunction pact it cannot be unbroken.

Unfortunately I only have a few to contribute myself:
1) Don't let Victor talk to anyone important. He has constant diarrhea of the mouth and will tell the High Cleric of the LG church of Paladins that you plan on restoring Necromancy to it's former glory.
2) The crazy girl with purple hair never ever ever tells you the whole story and will leave out the most important parts.
3) Never trust the demi-lich.
4) If you a build a character that loves being on boats and could run one himself you will never find one or ride on one until that character's lifeless body is shoved in a box.

Grommen
2010-10-01, 10:33 AM
Very few rules at our table.

Vampire is pronounced Wampire, as our DM is Norwegian.

By logical extrapolation, any words used in semantic proximity to a wampire have at bare minimum the 'v's and 'w's swapped

Magnus will always burn the pizza.

Norwegian is a silly language and will be mocked at any opportunity.

The fact that all the npcs have Norwegian accents, however, will not be commented on.

Man now I want to play at your game. I can never pull off a good Norwegian accent when I introduce a Wampire! Wait their from Romaina..ah hell best I got is a really bad Irish brog, and even my players laff at me! :smallsigh:

Tyndmyr
2010-10-01, 12:06 PM
Very few rules at our table.

Vampire is pronounced Wampire, as our DM is Norwegian.

By logical extrapolation, any words used in semantic proximity to a wampire have at bare minimum the 'v's and 'w's swapped

Norwegian is a silly language and will be mocked at any opportunity..

You mean, Norvegian is a silly language!

Psyx
2010-10-01, 12:52 PM
The first one is magnificent because in my last campaign James was the name of our Big Dumb Fighter tm and I personally said those exact words numerous times. Second one is a must and if it's an especially long combat smoke breaks may be called at the end of a round.

James is the player who always wants his character to rock hardest. He's the player that's always saying 'I'm going to [insert horrific blag here]'. He's the player who keeps on trying to convince you after you've already said 'no' four times.

I swear, when I ran Torg, and my default answer for stupid stuff became 'yes', he's start blagging, I'd say 'yes' and he'd carry ON trying to convince me for about two minutes!! at least twice I had to shout 'YES, YOU CAN. STOP TALKING' at him.

James also has no indoor voice.

***

A big and serious one we have, is when the GM says 'are you sure you want us all to start playing the game that way' or 'do you seriously want us all to start doing that', you back down. It's generally a reply to some horrible bit of min-maxxing or similar or something that is just adding a layer of complexity, and will be shoved back HARD in the player's faces next week if they elect to start using it.

Invelios
2010-10-01, 03:14 PM
I'll do you one better.

How about the up-to-date version of the Mr. Welch list (1825 at the time of this writing), the RPG.net version thereof (which shares the first few hundred entries of the former), and the Eberron rules you linked over, all in one text file? (http://slexy.org/view/s2TSywDJVo)

I hope you have roughly three times as much free time. =P

Much props to all of the author's of these rule things, but the chaos of it was making my head spin so I present the following:

https://docs1.google.com/document/edit?id=1EUwO95qHQlcpeWqwMHBu7g-9nChh5ONz4JNKTHe6EGM&hl=en#

All nice and neat.

Dark_Nohn
2010-10-01, 05:01 PM
Let's see...

+Kolt is not allowed to make his own characters. Ever.
+Everyone should play a character with stats, skills, and abilities that reflect themselves and their character experience, or else you start wondering why the barbarian has the greatest insight into relics and epic magic. Another scenario is the bard that never talks (and isn't a dirge singer.)
+While we're talking about dirge singers, whine rock (a la Linkin Park,) emo, and so on is not an acceptable method of inspiring the dead. That is reserved for metal, and possibly industrial if you can find a way to do it.
+Mikey needs an irl greater restoration spell, because he's gone into seclusion, possibly due to madness.
+My sessions are never mediocre. They either suck (65%) or rock (35%.)
+Barfights are not random encounters. Do not pull out your flamberge.
+BoED, BoVD, and Fiendish Codexes should be avoided unless you're doing planar wars, or in evil campaigns: the risk of the Villain becoming a card-carrying villain is too great. Evil should be in deeds, not in how many [vile] feats you've taken.
+Law of Conservation of d6's: Scouts, spellthiefs, and other classes with less amounts of precision damage will have more chances to use them than those with 12d6 to 15d6 at 20.
+LG Old portly Effigy Masters with white hair in a mullet and full beard will inevitably have all of their creations, (except for the semi-sentient ranger effigy in blue armor with salvage abilities,) turn against them due to the machinations of another old balding wizard with a bushy sinister mustache.
+WoW talk and references result in a time-out and possible in-game punishments, unless they are both topical to the situation and humorous.
+Searching for traps is unreliable without X-Ray vision, detect magic, true seeing, a competence bonus from a cleric, and taking 20.
+DM's aren't doing their job right unless they comprehend the possible effects of Schrodinger.
+One that I don't subscribe to when I'm DMing is that roll values have more effect than skill points or other points of competence.
+While I'm DM'ing, if you don't like something, show me three consecutive 20's with a good will save bonus, and you can will change onto it.

dsmiles
2010-10-01, 05:15 PM
+LG Old portly Effigy Masters with white hair in a mullet and full beard will inevitably have all of their creations, (except for the semi-sentient ranger effigy in blue armor with salvage abilities,) turn against them due to the machinations of another old balding wizard with a bushy sinister mustache.


Mullet. Heh. :smallbiggrin:

Valameer
2010-10-01, 05:33 PM
Most of these are from our recent Eberron campaign. Wish I could remember back to the AD&D days. Actually these all have to do with our valiant exploits on our airship.

1. The druid is no longer allowed to shift into a dire bear (8000 lbs.) then cast animal growth (x8 weight, so 64000 lbs.) on himself while our airship is in flight. Especially when he is balancing on the figurehead.

2. We are no longer allowed to let the character with the highest charisma score attempt to control the elemental (DC 15 charisma check every round). Instead, we must always have a half-elf pilot with a wind of wheel and water to control it properly. We must also pay for all damages incurred on that tower in Trolanport.

3. Ordering the elemental to fly "straight up" is no longer allowed.

4. Nor is "do a barrel roll."

5. "Put 'er down anywhere" is no longer to be taken literally. Or at least, the word 'feasible' must be assumed to be tacked on. We must also pay for all damages incurred to that winery.

6. We must always remember to anchor the airship when disembarking on a windy day.

7. Fire elementals don't consider diving into the ocean as a valid means of escape. Nor do half-elven crewmates.

8. Fire elementals don't mind being used as a waste incinerator; However, we must always be careful to read the labels of the barrels we are disposing. Also - the ship's waste barrels should never be stored beside our barrels of alchemist's fire.

9. Make sure everything is safely secured before letting a PC fly.

10. Fire elementals are bound against their will to provide the ships propulsion. Sympathising with one is fine - so long as it doesn't spark a debate on ethics between party members exactly after said elemental escapes and starts attacking us!

11. Airships are far less useful without an elemental propelling them. However, they are still as light as air, and will still drift away in a strong breeze if left unanchored. (See #6)

12. We really didn't deserve an airship anyway.

Drakevarg
2010-10-01, 05:35 PM
From Campaigns I've Run:
1. The BBEG murdered your entire family and turned them into his minions. Stop trying to join his team.
2. I will never tell you "you can't do that." I will, however, act as a particularly mean-spirited force of karma if you DO do that.
3. When a monster easily kills someone stronger than you are, this is your cue to run like hell.
4. Failure to take a hint will probably result in death.

From Campaigns I've Played:
1. It doesn't matter if you're a half-god who saves kingdoms as part of their morning workout. The Team Mom (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TeamMom) is still absolutely terrifying if you cross her.
2. Just humor the Humanoid Abomination (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HumanoidAbomination) that follows you around like a lost puppy. Nothing good ever comes out of pissing it off.
3. As an addendum to Rule 1, just don't **** with nannies, period. If they're not master assassins, they're polymorphed dragons.
4. That little girl is a powerful spellcaster. Always.
5. Don't expect to be following the same plot for more then about three sessions, at the most. The universe just doesn't have that kind of attention span.
6. Related to Rule 5, if you miss a session, you will have no idea where you are or what logical series of events could possibly have brought you here. Just roll with it.

Project_Mayhem
2010-10-01, 06:23 PM
You mean, Norvegian is a silly language!

*facepalms*

how did I miss that?

Christopher K.
2010-10-02, 08:12 AM
For a campaign of younger kids I used to run(It eventually degraded each time into Calvin crying and Sam whining that he couldn't change his race without a good reason):
-Rule 1: Sam cannot undergo spontaneous race change because he read something about the following: Drow, Eladrin, Minotaurs, or anything else.

-Rule 2: Calvin's necromancy powers are stupid. He loses 1/3 of his max HP to be able to do so. 16 HP at level 3 is NOT a good sign.

-Rule 3: Any NPC who thinks you spend too much time giggling during dialogues reserves the right to cast Nuclear Death.

-Rule 4: If Sam says "Icewind Dale" ONE MORE TIME, I reserve the right to give him 3d20 damage.

-Rule 5: NOBODY eats my snacks. The cheez-its on your side of the table are for you to enjoy. The ones on my side are for ME to enjoy. This goes double for caffeine.

Seatbelt
2010-10-02, 09:11 AM
Dieter always plays a dwarf. He always comes up with a name he thinks is creative without realizing it sounds like something explicit you do in the bedroom, and we mock him mercilessly for the entire campaign.

The DM plays mean mages.

Barbarians are player killers.

Thats it though.