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HalfTangible
2010-09-30, 04:25 PM
I was reading a thread, and i came across a Mark Twain quote in someone's sig (dance like you have greater invisibility, sing like you're silenced, etc etc. I liked it, so i clicked it.

Found this thread here: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=139886 The latest post is over two months old - too old to post in again without thread necro.

So... here we are.

Ah hem...

Basically you post philosophy one liners that have something to do with dnd or are modified from their originals into a dnd metaphor.



"Fear not the DM. Fear will not slow him down, make her quicker or make the pain stop. It shall only encourage it to take it's time."

Urpriest
2010-09-30, 04:28 PM
Il n'y a rien hors du RAW.

houlio
2010-09-30, 04:31 PM
When you stare into the icosahedron, the icosahedron stares back into you.

Urpriest
2010-09-30, 04:35 PM
Nietzche: Gamers do not seek after happiness, only the Freeformers do that.

averagejoe
2010-09-30, 05:43 PM
When you stare into the icosahedron, the icosahedron stares back into you.

He who fights with monsters might take care not to take level adjustments or monstrous hit dice.

Galsiah
2010-09-30, 05:55 PM
Is the DM willing to prevent munchkins but not able?
Then the munchkin is his girlfriend.
Is he able but not willing?
Then he is a powergamer.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh min-maxing?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him the DM?

HalfTangible
2010-09-30, 06:12 PM
"Stone magic is in the eye of the beholder."

Urpriest
2010-09-30, 06:13 PM
Euthyphro: Is it Exalted to do something because the Book of Exalted Deeds says so, or does the Book of Exalted Deeds say that it is Exalted to do something because the action is Exalted?

Also, http://dresdencodak.com/2006/12/03/dungeons-and-discourse/ , http://dresdencodak.com/2009/01/27/advanced-dungeons-and-discourse/

huttj509
2010-09-30, 06:14 PM
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Unfortunately the rest of the party is in the stomach of the beholder.

-stolen from somewhere, don't remember

Dr.Epic
2010-09-30, 06:15 PM
"Boards don't hit back unless someone cast animate object on them."
-Bruce Lee

randomhero00
2010-09-30, 06:24 PM
"All that is needed for evil to triumph is for a TPK." -Edmund Burke

"The capacity to learn is a gift;
The ability to learn is a skill;
The WILLINGNESS to slaughter a ton of monsters is choice."

"The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it, but the levels he gains." -John Ruskin

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted...because the encounter has to have an appropriate CR." -Albert Einstein

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger and gives awesome experience and gold." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"History is written by bards." -Machiavelli

"Those who cannot remember the past were probably mind raped and are condemned to repeat it." -George Santayana

"We are always the same age inside because DMs rarely keep track of that." -Gertrude Stein

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life since you just rerolled."

"For man, the unoptimized life is not worth living." -Socrates

"Know thy character sheet." -Socrates

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I'll kill you and loot your corpse."

HalfTangible
2010-09-30, 06:28 PM
"When fighting blinded man, he has penalty to attack roll."

"The art of Rangering is the art of patience and combat styles."

Kaun
2010-09-30, 06:38 PM
"If you're going to be chaotic evil, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up."

Hunter S. Thompson

Morph Bark
2010-09-30, 06:42 PM
"I am become death, destroyer of Planes."
~ J. Robert Oppenheimer


Not really philosophy, but fitting enough.

AtopTheMountain
2010-09-30, 06:44 PM
"It is forbidden to kill. Therefore, all murderers are punished, unless they kill large numbers of monsters for experience points and loot." -Voltaire

Dusk Eclipse
2010-09-30, 06:51 PM
Alea Jacta Est I believe that is latin for the die has been cast, someone please correct in the (probable) eventuallity I am wrong

HalfTangible
2010-09-30, 07:00 PM
If a tree falls in a forest and no one's around to make a spot/listen check, was it ever standing?

Magnema
2010-09-30, 07:11 PM
From t-shirts of mine:

"CHAOTIC EVIL means you never have to say your sorry."

"When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered dragon, remember, you don't have to outrun the dragon... <on back> you just have to outrun the halfling."

Susano-wo
2010-09-30, 07:24 PM
averagejoe inspired me: Do not stare into the Abyss, for they might detect scrying, and then you've got Baalors all over your ass.

dsmiles
2010-09-30, 07:45 PM
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good hand crossbow at your side, kid.
-Han Solo

Yahzi
2010-09-30, 08:03 PM
Is the DM willing to prevent munchkins but not able?

Galsiah wins an internet! :smallbiggrin:

He who knows his enemy and himself well will not be defeated in a hundred encounters. He who knows himself but not his enemy, will have an even chance of victory. He who does not know himself and his enemy, is bound to suffer defeat in all encounters. Therefore, study the PHB and MM with great diligence and care. - Sun Tzu

Tyndmyr
2010-09-30, 08:05 PM
"We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."

-Yes...it's a firefly quote. No, I haven't changed it. You can use it in game just as it is.

HalfTangible
2010-09-30, 08:05 PM
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good hand crossbow at your side, kid.
-Han Solo

Or: "A Psion 2/Cleric 2 is no match for a Ranger 4, kid."

Ertwin
2010-09-30, 09:58 PM
Be careful what you wish for, the DM is smiling.

The quill is mightier than the sword, for it can scribe many scrolls.

Smoking is bad for your HP.

HalfTangible
2010-09-30, 10:16 PM
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give a man skill points in Profession (Fish) and he'll eat until he gets cleaved by an orc or something.

Grommen
2010-09-30, 11:51 PM
With apologies to my friend (You know who you are) for beating you to this.

Build a man a fire, he will be warm for the night. Light a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life. :smallbiggrin:

Never start a war you can not win. - Sun Tzu (Hell that one you don't have to change)

Fireball first. Questions just lead to more questions.

Cespenar
2010-10-01, 12:14 AM
I loot, therefore I am?

Ertwin
2010-10-01, 01:37 AM
Today is a good day to roll the die ~Klingon proverb

ffone
2010-10-01, 02:23 AM
"Mr. Kelemvor, tear down that Wall of the Faithless!"

"Mr. Wizard, dispel that Wall of Stone!"

-Reagan

"Lord, what fools these PHB races be!"

-Puck (satyr bard), Midsummer Night's Dream

Marillion
2010-10-01, 02:27 AM
Is the DM willing to prevent munchkins but not able?
Then the munchkin is his girlfriend.
Is he able but not willing?
Then he is a powergamer.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh min-maxing?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him the DM?

Sigged? whitetext

WinWin
2010-10-01, 02:31 AM
The RAI that can be explained is not the true RAI
-Lao Tze

dsmiles
2010-10-01, 04:12 AM
And so, may Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables.
-The Tick

Calmar
2010-10-01, 05:05 AM
"Where there is wealth by level there is no injustice."
--John Locke

Rainbow Servant
2010-10-01, 05:52 AM
Divine magic is the best medicine?

HalfTangible
2010-10-01, 07:10 AM
Procrastination is an epic level encounter.

He who questions the DM only trains himself in killing off his own character.

Eldan
2010-10-01, 07:49 AM
"We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."

-Yes...it's a firefly quote. No, I haven't changed it. You can use it in game just as it is.

Better:

"We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we have charisma to AC and saves."

dsmiles
2010-10-01, 11:10 AM
You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.
-Fezzik

Siegel
2010-10-01, 11:29 AM
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give a man skill points in Profession (Fish) and he'll eat until he gets cleaved by an orc or something.

Give a PC a fish and he will sell it for 2cp. Teach a PC to fish and he will come arround next session with the "Ultimate Fisherman", dual wielding Flyrods...

Duke of URL
2010-10-01, 11:42 AM
"He who hesitates, screws up the initiative order."

"Neither a lender nor a borrower be... just shank the guy and get XP and all of his gear instead."

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... although a pit fiend is pretty nasty in any event."

"Music hath charms to... well, charm, in the hands of a bard using fascinate."

"Early to bed, early to rise, just a normal consequence of the 15-minute adventuring day."

"In Soviet Russia, weapon wields you!"

"All your loot are belong to us."

Tam_OConnor
2010-10-01, 12:36 PM
"Smite evil and wearing locking gauntlets."
1st Timothy 1:19 ("Fight the good fight and hold onto faith and a good conscience.")

"The future is not set. There is no fate but what we roll for ourselves."
Terminator 2

Esser-Z
2010-10-01, 12:42 PM
"Do not stare into the party, for the party may stare back into you."

Maxios
2010-10-01, 12:51 PM
We shall all rest together, or all rest seperatly.

Gnomo
2010-10-01, 01:27 PM
A PC should look for what class features he has, and not for what he thinks should have.

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and ninth level spells; what else does a man need to be happy?

Anger dwells only in the bosom of barbarian based PrCs.

Before Ilsensine we are all equally wise - and equally tasty.

Every spell that can be countered is not necessarily countered; every spell that is countered cannot necessarily be countered with the same spell.

Force effects always attracts men of low morality... and without access to disintegrate.

God does not play dice... he is an overdeity so he always rolls 20.

- All from Albert Einstein.

P.S.: Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism - how passionately I hate them!

Eldan
2010-10-01, 01:30 PM
^You should change it to Heroism at will.

GM.Casper
2010-10-01, 01:56 PM
Caesar:
"The die is cast."
"I came, I made the spot check, I conquered."

Plato as a GM: "So you all start in a cave…"

Immanuel Kant: “Intelligence is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.”

Don Juan “The basic difference between a Commoner and a Warrior is that a Warrior takes everything as a challenge, while a Commoner takes everything either as a blessing or a curse.”

Eldan
2010-10-01, 02:00 PM
Similar to Platon:

GM: "All the world's a stage..."
Player: "This setting sucks!"

blackjack217
2010-10-01, 02:03 PM
Good for the good gods!!

dsmiles
2010-10-01, 05:10 PM
Good for the good gods!!

*facepalm*

Eldan
2010-10-01, 05:15 PM
It works better in german, where the words actually rhyme.

HalfTangible
2010-10-01, 05:17 PM
"I came, I made a spot check, I rolled a critical."

Siegel
2010-10-01, 05:19 PM
It works better in german, where the words actually rhyme.

Gutes für die guten Götter
does not rhyme in my language...

Eldan
2010-10-01, 05:30 PM
I've heard the joke before. It was usually:

Gut für den Gut Gott. Of course it's garbled, but that never stopped the Warhammer players I know.

darkpuppy
2010-10-01, 08:25 PM
"One must be as an uncarved humanoid" - Lao Tsu.

"The NPCs are the means of production!" - Karl Marx

"When faced with two unpalatable choices, one must always choose the Lesser Demon."

"One must first have eyes to make spot checks."

"There's lies, damned lies, and a Munchkin's character sheet." - Oscar Wilde.

"TPKs are my favourite activity, I could sit and watch them all day."

"Ceci n'est pas une decisif" -Rene Margritte ("This is not a critical")

IonDragon
2010-10-01, 09:46 PM
"Problems can not be solved by the party that created them" --Albert Einstein

Galsiah
2010-10-01, 09:54 PM
Sigged? whitetext

Go for it :smallbiggrin:

dspeyer
2010-10-01, 10:55 PM
It is magnificent, but it is not Tier 1

Pierre Bosquet, regarding warmages

Shyftir
2010-10-01, 11:12 PM
Ask not what your party can do for you, but what can you do for your party.

--JFK on playing high-level spellcasters.

This is a small step for a kobold, and a giant leap for kobold-kind. -- Pun
Pun

Not all that glitters is gold; Sometimes its PLATINUM! -- anonymous rogue

Use the [Force] spell, Luke. -- Obi-wan Kenobi - argent savant

Cespenar
2010-10-02, 12:34 AM
"I came, I made a spot check, I rolled a critical."

"I moved 30', I made the spot check, I got the xp."

HalfTangible
2010-10-02, 12:39 AM
"I moved 30', I made the spot check, I got the xp."

I came, i saw, i quoted and edited something that was already quoted and edited :smalltongue:

"The only thing man need fear is a Fear effect."

warmachine
2010-10-02, 05:02 AM
"When I give food to the poor, they call me Good. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me Chaotic."

Morph Bark
2010-10-02, 05:23 AM
Gutes für die guten Götter
does not rhyme in my language...

Any alliteration is always enough. :smallwink:

darkpuppy
2010-10-02, 08:38 AM
Okay, decided to bring the big guns out for this thread... paraphrasing bits from the David & Charles Book of Quotations. :smallbiggrin:

"Night brings our encounters to the light rather than banishes them." - Seneca

"The frontiers are not east or west, north or south, but wherever a man creates a rule." - Henry David Thoreau

"The trap never springs of itself; unless someone fiddles with it or pokes it, it is dumb." - Plautus

"We have met the GM, and he is us" - Walt Kelly

"The Gold Elves have always been students, and their greatest study is themselves" - Albert Goldman

"A fool must now and then be right by dint of crit" - William Cowper

"It is said that while PCs cannot alter the past, DMs can; it is perhaps because they can be amusing to them in this respect that they tolerate their existence." - Samuel Butler

"Only that which is not shiny, which does not give quests, which does not have flavour text, which is not relevant, is irresistible" - W.B. Yeats

"I hate all players as rabidly as a person who likes players hates common sense" - H.L. Mencken

"Pro roleplaying is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors." - Frank Gifford

and finally,

"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's GMing" - Bob Hope

Coidzor
2010-10-02, 08:40 PM
I found this Ferdinand Foch quote...


There is but one means to extenuate the effects of enemy fire: it is to develop a more violent fire oneself.

It seems to apply rather well to the whole problem of defense vs. offense, also, the caster arms race.

HalfTangible
2010-10-14, 09:40 PM
"If you just roll a natural twenty, anything is possible!"

Doomboy911
2010-10-14, 09:52 PM
We all must draw at least one card from the deck of many things.

-Me

AslanCross
2010-10-16, 12:02 AM
The business of Chaotics is to go on making mistakes. The business of Lawfuls is to keep mistakes from being corrected. -- G.K. Chesterton

HalfTangible
2010-10-16, 12:28 AM
The business of Chaotics is to go on making mistakes. The business of Lawfuls is to keep mistakes from being corrected. -- G.K. Chesterton

I love that one. Really do =3

"What is a character sheet? A worthless pile of numbers."

Venerable
2010-10-16, 01:01 AM
"Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Bring your own dice for a change." - with apologies to William Spear-Shaker

AslanCross
2010-10-16, 01:08 AM
Another Chesterton one:

"No wizard who worships magic has got the best out of it...Without a gentle contempt for magic no wizard's arcane training is complete."

Clovis
2010-10-16, 05:12 AM
United we stand, divided we fall
-- an ad from the maker of Sovereign Glue and Universal Solvent

Zieu
2010-10-16, 05:46 AM
"Some people call me the Extraplanar Ranger, some people call me the Fighter Variant: Thug of Charm. Some people call me Leeroy...."

Rising Phoenix
2010-10-16, 06:09 AM
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... although a pit fiend is pretty nasty in any event. Escpecially a female Pit Fiend"


Fixed it for you :D

Eldan
2010-10-16, 06:10 AM
Erinye, not pit fiend. It's in the name, people.

Amphetryon
2010-10-16, 06:28 AM
Moar Chesterton:

"Adventures are more than true. Not because they tell the players that dragons exist - players already know that dragons exist. Rather, they tell players that dragons can be beaten."

Serenity
2010-10-16, 01:39 PM
"Many who live deserve death. And many who die deserve life. Can you give it to them?"

CoDzilla: "...Pretty much, yeah."

HalfTangible
2010-10-16, 01:40 PM
"Fear the angry man who takes no revenge, because he's smarter than you, or you failed your sense motive."