[Twi]Vampyr Assassin!!!: A Lynching Spin-off

[Colesign]

This thread resumes and concludes a mini-game that was started on page 32 of [Twi] Twilight the lynching: The Gathering Storm. To see the first half of this legendary journey, go to that board.

Now, let Vampyrs beware!!!

[Colesign]

When we last left our heroes...


As you approach the minature Mayan Pyramid, you can see what these men and women in feather cloaks, jewelry and jaguar head costumes are doing.

It's nothing good.

The Mayan Pyramid's steps run thick with blood, all originating from the altar at it's top. At the base, there's a thick cage that currently has no one in it: the door hangs open, and you can see...a teddy bear. A teddy bear lying on the floor of the cage, discarded.

At the top of the Altar, a group of the Jaquar warriors drag a screaming captive from a row of restrained kneeling people and bind her to the Altar. Then a tall, muscular man in a with a simple green feather cloak, a array of gold bracers and necklaces, and a ornate mask carved into the shape of of a snarling jaguar-like beast walks over the the Altar. He has a presence, a sort of internal gravity that causes you all to flinch. The young, young woman strapped to the altar goes eerily still, as if compelled.

This...Head priest, you're guessing, begins to raise the obsidian dagger in his left hand.

What do you do?

[The Shoveler]

Johnny Python brings the rifle up to his shoulder, taking aim with the scope. He fires, shooting a bullet at the dagger itself, attempting to shatter the blade in the Vampyre's hand. Ouch.

[darkblade]

James doesn't have the ability to do anything at a distance so he runs towards the pyramid.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The dagger get thoroughly shattered. The thing with the Golden Jaguar Mask turns, and stares right at you. You can't see his face, but you can feel waves of hate and contempt coming off him like fumes from a stove.

He snarls something in ancient Mayan, and all of the Jaguar warriors heft weapons ranging from obsidian edged machetes to steel sword of modern make, and charge at you all, each Jaguar warrior moving with inhuman speed.

[The Shoveler]

He smirks. He starts shooting the weapons of the ones farther back.
"James, this is your time to shine! Same with you, Miguel, Captain. Me, I'll provide support from the back. Go get'em, champs!" he yells, getting to a higher vantage point to better pick his targets.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

Johnny Python begins trying to shoot the weapons out of the Jaguars Warrior's hands, with a mixed degree of sucess. Steel and wood doesn't shattere quite as easily as obsidian. He occasionally misses, hitting one of the warrior in the chest and the arm...only to have them shrug it off and keep coming.

One of the Jaguar warriors spots James and swings his Obsidian Machete at him with blinding speed. He looks perfectly human...apart from the black-colored eyes.

[darkblade]

Spending physical point.

James in an act of amazing timing draws his sword just as the giant stone knife goes for his face stopping the blow. With Romeo's guidance he then ducks down and kicks out the back of the Vampyr's knee.

[nanobot_swarm]

"Oh great," sprach Miguel, "People who've taken the 2012 nonsense to the illogical extreme." Right now Juan thinks back to Catholic school, he had been on the track team, and while not being praticularly good at running and the like, he could throw a mean javellin. He decides it best to replicate that here, with the Spear of Destiny, and instead of trying to set a distance record, is instead trying to hit the Mayan priest. The ghost of Coach Carlos must be proud right now.

[Colesign]

Miguel Juan

These creatures, whatever they are, worshipped the Mayan cosmology long before two movie producers spoon-fed mayan mythology into an overdone Biblical metaphor of a film.

The Spear of Destiny flies forth, and the Mayan Priest leaps away from it's trajectory with a sudden, blind panic: whatever he is, he fears the Holy Object.

He lands on the side of the pyramid with a thump, cracking the stone beneath his feet. He raises his hands, and red lightning crackles between them, forming itself into a great crackling ball of energy worthy of Dragonball Z. He thrusts his hands forward, and giant Red Lightning Bolt flies at the Hierophant with a crack.

James

(One physical point spent, check. Oh, because this is the new level, everyone gets +1 in each plot point stat, Physical :smallfurious:, Mental, :smallconfused:, Reflex :smallwink:, and Social:smalleek:)

The knee gives easily...too easily, causing the Jaguar Warrior to fall flat on his face.

Then the Warrior behind him drops his sword, opens his mouth to reveal large pointy fangs in a drooling throat, and spits a huge gob of saliva at your face.

[The Shoveler]

There is only one response worth of that attack.
"SHOOT HIS F*CKING EYES OUT!" Johnny yells as he does just that.

Physical point spent. For comedy's sake :smallbiggrin:

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

(Physical Point spent)

The eyes are thoroughly shot out. The blinded Jaguar warrior staggers back, clutching at his face. Then he lowers his bloody hands, and sniffs, and ***** his ears.

Then he's charging right at you, in a fashion that would make Daredevil proud.

Oh, and a lesser priest on the steps of the pyramid, decked out in gold jewelry and tattoos, throws a streak of what looks like black energy right at you.

[darkblade]

James stabs the Vampire with the broken knee in the face and quickly whips his sword, pulling the corpse along with it so that the poison hits the corpse and not James.

[The Shoveler]

Python jumps back, prepping himself on the floor against the wall. Theoretically, the bolt should barely miss over his head.
"Python don't deal in theoretics, poster!" he yells, rolling to the side, gun prepped against his shoulder, pointed out at the head priest as he comes to a stop. His snakes are on the ready, one Boa with a silver-plated knife in his mouth and one Taipan with a UV light switch ready to pull. The Spitter is ready for firing. When this sucker gets in close, he's in for some nasty pain.

[Colesign]

James

The Corpse absorbs the saliva barrage. Then it whips it's head around, nearly pulling the sword out of your hand. The action rips a good portion of it's skin off, and you get a good look at what the Vampyr's true form is, underneath it's mask of flesh.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_TqM3nATqFeo/TIhNr98RE3I/AAAAAAAACyU/sJSGfJsZeHk/s1600/2233910525_728203a330_o.jpg

It's tears the rest of it's Flesh Mask free, revealing big, knuckled, clawed hands with rubbery black skin speckled with bits of pink, a flabby belly, wing membranes, and a face that's a cross between a bat and H.R. Giger. It screeches and throws itself upon you. The Vampyr Jaguar Warrior behind him begins to tear free of it's flesh mask as well.

Johnny Python

The Head Priest...you think you recognize the image his gold mask represents: the black horizontal stripe is in reference to Tezcatlipoca, the Mayan dark god of sacrifice and death...Tezcatlipoca summons his lesser priest to him, and they join hands. Whatever they're cooking up, it can't be good.

You see the two Vampyrs confronting James tear free of their skin, revealing the monsters that they truly are. As if it's a signal, some of the Other Vampyrs begin to tear free of their Flesh Masks, And begins loping right at you, some jumping up high in order to glide down upon you...and tear your throat out.

[Draxx]

The Jaguar warrior hears a scuff of a boot, and hears the sound of compressed air being ignited. He turns, then hears a dog whine. Before he can make sense of this, he goes to a dark place, with a new mask, and a feeling of blinding pain. And this mask doesn't come off.

Dogwelder vanishes after this act of justice, stalking ahead to find the next vagrant.

[darkblade]

"Giant Aztec Bats too." James shakes his head as he ducks under the lunging vampire and drives a sword up through it's chest.

[Colesign]

James

Dog Welder brutally dispatches the Vampyre behind the one attacking you, and your sword takes the aforementioned Aztec Bat Vampyre through the chest.

After which it seizes your head with both of it's big, clawed hands, and lashes out with it's long, pink, forked tongue, trying to lick your face.

[darkblade]

((Ack, Reflex point))

James throws his head back out of reach of the tounge and moves his sword to sever it.

That was a mistake. You should have gone for the neck.

"Shut Up Romeo."

[The Shoveler]

John be nimble, John be quick, John shoot a Vampyre that is terrorizing Romeo in the neck. With bullets.
The snakes turn on the UV lamps and the Boa lifts and aims them at the oncoming vampires.
Spitter has taken on Silver Powder, spraying it on nearby cultists.
Taipan is using venom to coat a wooden block thing. It will be wittled down with more acid later.
Johnny keeps up the "Shoot it 'til it dies!" strategy, reloading when needed.

[Colesign]

James

(Plot point spent)

The tongue is severed, and the Red Court Vampyr staggers back, clutching at his mouth: then Jame's bullets take it through the neck, and it falls down, still twitching.

You have and excellent view of the Vampyr with the baby german shepherd welded to it's face picking itself up, flabby belly protruding from it's bulk. It takes a few hesitant steps toward you.

Johnny Python

The Silver has no effect. The UV light is more effective, causing the flesh of the flesh-masked Vampyrs to slowly sizzle: the effects aren't as pronounced as with the Strain Vampyrs. In Bat form, however, the Vampyrs stagger back, their oily flesh catching on fire.

Chest shots don't do much: If you pump three or so rounds into their skull, they'll fall over, twitching on the ground. They must have a weak spot somewhere...

Meanwhile, over by the miniature pyramid, Tezcatlipoca and his followers, throw their heads to the sky, and in unison, chant several chilling syllables of Old Mayan. In the storm clouds above, there's a brief rumble.

Then, an gigantic arc of Red Lightning crashes down in the general area where Miguel, Johnny and the Captain are.

Then another, then another, and another. A barrage of Red Lightning strikes come down upon you like raindrops.

[The Shoveler]

"Oh merciful Glycon, please bless this dead rat in your name so that we might carry out your will. *HISS*" he says, feeding the rat to his Spitter. It proceeds to spit as he takes control of 2 UV lamps, aiming and concentrating them.

[darkblade]

James backs away from the dog faced Vampire as he plucks a UV lamp from the crate and holds it out towards the poor faceless bat thing.

[nanobot_swarm]

The lightning hits the Hierophant, and the controls go haywire for a bit before Miguel can regain control. The air sizzles where the Hierophant was struck, the exterior has been blackened, but is mostly fine. Miguel then directs the Hierophant towards the pyramid, charging like a locomotive as it does so, aiming to kill the high priest.

[Colesign]

James

You set the dog-welded Vampyr's head on fire. It fall down and tries to stop, drop and roll.

An Jaguar Warrior with an intact flesh-mask swings a Chinese Jian at your sword arm. More press in, advancing despite the UV light in your hand.

There's too many of them to fight at once.

Johnn Python

The Holy Venom Spray works wonders the the flesh of the Vampyrs, masked or no, causing a white fire to consume the upper layers of their body. One unfortunate Vampyr gets hit in the gut, where the Holy Venom corrodes it's way through the flesh of the belly, causing a large amount of blood to gush out. The Vampyr falls limply to the ground, clutching at it's mangled side, utterly strengthless.

Huh. That must be why their belly are so large.

Oh, and Red Lightning is bombarding your current location.

Miguel Juan

The Hierophant Mech cuts a bloody swath through the Vampyr hordes, trampling them and batting them aside like insects. Blade ring off of it, and hands and claws burst into white flames at the touch of the Mech's blessed armor. A significant portion of the Red Court Vampyrs are killed by Miguel's charge. One third of their numbers have been killed or neutralized, mostly by Python and Juan.

The High Priest known as Tezcatlipoca snarls, and breaks contact with his lesser priests, and steps forward, the thrown Spear of Destiny lying at his feet. He regards it with a grimace of hate, and then raises his black, black eyes to meet those of Miguel.

He doesn't use magic or physical strength: merely will, will of such a depth and power that Miguel is frozen in place. Strength flees his limbs, and he lies helpless, as the innate power of a god-like being rolls over him.

"Mortals." He snarls in English. "So certain of your place in the universe. Short-lived cattle like you couldn't possibly conceive of the power of a Lord of Outer Night."

{Turn out that this guy is a Demi-God, which allows him to pull the old "Bow Down Mortal" trick on you: unaided, you'll need to spend a Mental Plot Point for each action you take while under his Mojo-whammy.

Make 'em count.}

[The Shoveler]

(Mental Plot point and Reflex Plot point activate!)

Python rolls to the side, dropping the UV lamps for his snakes to pick up and instead pulling a flask of Blessed Water and his gun up to his hand. He pours the water over the barrel of the gun as well as the ammo, takes aim at the head priest's head, and fires repeatedly.

[Colesign]

Johny Python

(You only really need a reflex point to do this, Shoveler, so 1 Reflex Point spent)

It's a bottle of blessed oil, and the newly blessed bullets rip through the Lord of Outer Night's torso, leaving wounds that burn with white holy fire.

He doesn't go down. An Unholy Vampyr Demi-god doesn't go down easily. But you shatter his hold on Miguel Juan, leaving him free to act again.

[The Shoveler]

(ah, misread that post that said Miguel had to use a Mental point to act.)
Continues pouring and shooting.

[darkblade]

While the Demi-God Vampire is stunned James makes a dash towards the pyramid.

"He tries any of that mind magic we switch, got it?"

You're letting me out?

"I don't really got any other options. It's that or get willed to rip my own heart out."

This shall be enjoyable.

[Colesign]

James (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQMe0AYSBZI&feature=related)

You run past most of the Vampyrs, who seem surprised to see a mere mortal rushing so willingly into their midst. As you near the Pyramid, one of the lesser priests makes a fluttering hand gestures, and sends what looks like a thin slice of black energy at you. And the Jaguar Warriors of the Red Court follow behind.

Johnny Python (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQMe0AYSBZI&feature=related)

He rocks back a bit, shots tearing into his flesh: then he turns and looks at you. The Red Court Vampyrs nearest you suddenly go into a frenzy, charging at you in suicidal fury, ignoring even blessed wounds and the surge forth to rip you to pieces.

(I've always visualized the Raid of Chichen Itza as being accompanied to this music.)

[The Shoveler]

He gulps, then remembers what caused some problems for him earlier down in the vents: C4.
"Sayonara, bitches!" he says, throwing a pack of it in front of him a good 30 yards, then detonating it when the first of the horde gets 20 yards away from the pack.
He turns focus of his bullets on the bellies of the enemy currently swarming him.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The C4 goes off, and bodies both bat-like and human go flying through the air, or bits and pieces of them. Nearly half of the Red Court Vampyrs have been taken out. That leaves only 2 blocks of C4 left.

Your G36 roars, putting hole after hole in the bellies of the Red Court, bursting their blood reservoirs. But one of them get within striking range and lets out an extremely scary shriek, swinging a huge obsidian machete at you with it's knuckled hands.

[The Shoveler]

(Physical Plot Point(if owned. How many do I have now?))
He suddenly remembers that knife he picked up earlier from the Crate to fight the Flood. He drops the gun, pulls out the knife, and attempts to throw the blow to the side, using the motion of his enemy to his advantage. He then throws the blade into the gut of the enemy.
"Get the hell out of my space, you *******!" he yells at the Vampyre.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

(Only one: but don't worry, you don't need it for this)

You sidestep the Vampyr's charge, and put a knife straight through its belly, ripping open the blood reservoir. It collapses, struggling weekly on the ground.

Suddenly, the horde stops. From bloodthirsty fury to tense stillness in 5 seconds flat.

The voice of Tezcatlipoca rings out over the courtyard. "You are indeed skilled warriors, to have felled so many of our kin, cattle though your are. Such bravery should be held in high esteem."

You have no idea what he's playing at.

[The Shoveler]

(just making sure)
"It's really more cunning than skill," he states, raising his gun and taking aim at the head vampyre's stomach. He doesn't fire. This would ruin the fun. Besides, the Vampyre had managed to dodge anything approaching a lethal (to them) blow, so he doubted he'd hit anyways.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

(You also have a reflex point or two to spend)

"The clever warrior is just as highly praised as the strong one." Tezcatlipoca affirms, making a grand expansive gesture: you can't tell what expression he's wearing behind his mask.

"But such courage, such dedication, such will: it is a horrible thing to watch souls with such qualities pass away."

His priests line up behind him, all of them glowering at you and adjusting bits of gold jewelry that you're pretty sure are focus items.

[The Shoveler]

Nope, not happenin'. No pot shots on Johnny, no sirree!
"Not gonna happen, sonny!" he says, unloading a full clip into the priests behind the head priest. Most gut shot level, some groin shot level. Don't mess with the bayou.

[darkblade]

James leaps forward over the back energy and driving his sword into the face of the closest Jaguar Warrior. "There's more where that came from, *******s."

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel collapses, his limbs unable to move and operate the controls. Without its master, the mech goes stiff and moves no more. However, Miguel knows he can still speak through the machine, and it will echo across good distance. Using this to his advantage, he begins to recite various Psalms, specifically 12, 40, 108, 140, 141. Hopefully these words will weaken the High Priest, or maybe grant some divine intervention.

[Colesign]

{Nanobot_Swarm, Johnny Python shot up Tezcatlipoca a few turns ago, breaking his hold over you. Even if he still was paralyzing you with his will, you could have also spent a Mental Plot Point to overcome his effect for one turn.

And if you had the Spear of Destiny...let's just say you probably shouldn't have thrown it away.:smallfrown:}

[nanobot_swarm]

(Oh. Pretend that didn't happen.)

Regaining control of body and mech, Miguel races the Hierophant up the pyramid to retrieve the Spear of Destiny, which once again, has lodged itself into a wall near to its intended target.

[Colesign]

Miguel Juan

"Die then, and be forgotten!!!"

Tezcatlipoca, the last of the Lords of Outer Night, snarls and throws a bolt of Red Lightning at you, as the Jaguar Warriors of the Red Court throw themselves on you in waves, shrieking as the blessed armor sears their flesh, and continuing to try and drag you down nevertheless.

You wonder why he isn't doing the will sapping trick: then you realize that he's using his raw demi-god will to do the reverse, to strengthen the confidence and aggression of his spawn.

He turns and withdraws a distance with his priests, leaving the Spear of Destiny lying on one of the steps.

James

Your sword turns the Vampyr's skull into jelly. The oh-so brief truce ended, the other Vampyrs surrounding you, some in bat form, and others still flesh-masked, raise a machete, a calvary saber, and a claw respectively, and start trying to rip you to shreds again.

Johnny Python

You take down two of the priests, leaving Tezcatlipoca with only four acolytes. The others manage to raise some form of magical shield that looks like it's made from red water-vapor.

[The Shoveler]

No more long range. It was time to take the battle to them!
"1, 2, I'm coming for you..." he starts saying in a sing-songy fashion. He starts running towards the hordes, shooting those who get too close. He has to free up James so they'd have a better chance. It is at this point when he wonders exactly where the heck Captain is.

[industrious]

Captain B******

((Spending Physical Plot Point))

At the moment, the Captain is underground, surrounded by rock and dirt and stone. As soon as he saw the pyramid, he knew exactly what he had to do. He knew that something was horribly wrong. So he fully intends to fix it.

"The Leaning Tower of Pisa is straight! I have to fix it!"

Grasping the foundations of the ancient Mayan ruin, he struggles to lift the immense structure. But he pushes and he pulls and he takes another swallow of whiskey to get him psyched. And then he goes too far...and instead of causing it to merely lean, flips the whole thing.

"Whoops. Don't worry. I can take care of this."

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

You, as a combatent, from your holy snakes to your holy bullets, manage to cut a swath through the ranks of the Red Court, eventually linking up with James.

Time for a Back-to-Back Badass moment.

Then, in an example of the unfairness of life, the spotlight gets stolen by the Captain.

The Captain

{.....Wha...what are you...Yesssss...this...this is GLORIOUS!!!

One physical plot point spent (•), but I hereby award you a replacement plot point for doing something so...beautiful :smallfrown:*sniff*}

Tezcatlipoca stares at the sight of the Captain lifting the miniature Mayan pyramid up that, his jaw hanging open. Then the Captain, with a mighty shove, flips the Mayan pyramid over: the crumbling stone edifice pancakes itself over, burying the Lord of Outer Night, his priest entourage, and a fair portion of his remaining Jaguar warriors.

On the downside, however, the row of bound-up sacrificial victims, as well as Miguel Juan and his Hierophants, are about to be crushed by falling rocks as well.

Unless someone saves them in the nick of time.

[The Shoveler]

"HEY CAPTAIN, THERE WERE SORT OF PEOPLE THERE! LIKE OUR BUDDY, MIGUEL!" Python yells at the bumbling idiot... who probably didn't even manage to kill the Head Priest. He got that "recurring boss" vibe from him for some reason.

[Draxx]

Before the pyramid can complete it's descent, Tezcatlipoca finds a hand grasp him. Before he can react, the grim figure lifts him up, and forces him into the apparently infinitly big on the inside sack. The Lord of the Outer night finds himself staring at hundreds of white points. Silent white pints, all of who are looking at him.

Dogwelder hasn't fed them since Tuesday. They are getting very hungry.

The sack moves, a few muffled sounds come out, and then silence.

[industrious]

Captain B******

"Shut up, okay! I'm sorry that I flipped the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I'm going to fix it as soon as I can. Honestly, you try to save an important historical building, and everybody yells at you..."

The fact that the structure he had defiled was, in fact, a Mayan temple is lost to him.

((I dare you to tell him that this isn't the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Please. Somebody please do it.))

[Colesign]

Dog Welder

[Huh...I'm going to let you get away with that for now. Beside, if you were right next to Tezcatlipoca, then that means you're also facing imminent burial via collapsing Mayan Pyramid.

Unless someone saves you, the sacrificial victims, and Miguel in the nick of time...

I'm going to wait one more turn for someone to try and do that, then let the Mayan Pyramid crush everyone underneath it.]

[The Shoveler]

"Leaning Tower of Pisa? It's a Mayan Temple..." Johnny seems confused by this. However, this doesn't matter to him. "It doesn't matter! We can fix the Tower later, for now we need to save the innocents and you're the only one fast enough to do so!" he says, seeming less harsh than the Captain is used to. In fact, he seems almost dependent upon the Captain.

[industrious]

The Captain

He then, after the prodding Johnny gave him, leaps into action.

"Right! Save the puppies! And the guy who keeps them in a sac. Hmm. Something isn't right about that statement. Anyway!"

The Captain flies as fast as he can towards the flipped structure, racing to save Dog Welder and Miguel. He doesn't worry about the sacrificial victims, though. In his mind(or what can be called a mind, anyway), they fall under the category of innocent bystanders, and those guys never seem to get hurt when a hero is around. The exact reason for that escapes him at the moment. It probably isn't something for him to worry about.

[nanobot_swarm]

He had been fighting off the Jaguar warriors and finally reached the spear, and then an idiot on his own team started to flip the damn pyramid over. He sighs, swears, apologises for the swear, and chucks the spear away from the pyramid into the courtyard, then rushes to grab the sacrificial victims and get out. He'll probably succeed in grabbing them, but by the time he tries to pull an Indiana Jones, the pyramid will already be flipped, so either he hits the ground with a thud and tries to run like hell away, or he gets rescued by the guy who flipped it. Ho hum.

[darkblade]

((Reflex point spend))

Not wanting his host body to be crushed under a tonne of rock, (stabbed sure, shot even better as long as there is still something left for him to possess when James dies) Romeo taps into the powers of Hell itself and uses them to teleport James ten feet to the left.

"What was that?"

[The Shoveler]

Python realizes that he's currently on a direct course with death as the tip comes down towards him. He runs back the way he came, looking like Indiana Jones in that Boulder scene. He'd loved those movies. They even inspired his dress at the moment, minus the glasses.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

{Reflex Point Spent, Darkblades}

Amazingly, you all make it out alive. Dog Welder is rescued in the nick of time by the Captain, James teleports out of there, and Johnny Python, escapes the falling rocks and falling Mayan Pyramid, doing a dramatic combat roll at the last moment.

Miguel Juan gently grabs the sacrificial victims and begins to run out. He gets to the edge before a huge pile of rubble lands on top of him.

Then the Altar shatters itself on the ground, and the bloodline curse imbued within it explodes.

After the dust settles, you see a wasteland of stone blocks, and an atomized Altar. There's no sign of Miguel, and there are only 15 or so of the Red Court Vampyrs left, gazing in horror at what you all have done to their pyramid.

Suddenly, rocks shift, and Miguel's Hierophant Faith Mech straightens up out of the rubble. At the last moment he had curled up around the sacrificial victims, protecting them from the falling rock. It's an extremely touching moment for all, except for the Captain. Cause he's a ****.

The remaining Red court Vampyrs are crouching, intently staring at you, and tense. Well, it only makes sense they'd be angry, what with the whole destruction of their pyramid...

Actually, they aren't very angry.

They're scared. They're scared of you all.

[The Shoveler]

"Now then, I believe there are two options for these here vampyres that are left. I'm picking for them!" he says, shooting them each in the stomach in rapid succession. All the while a smile is plastered upon his dust-covered face. Never let it be said that Johnny Python wasn't passionate in his insanity.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

As one, the Vampyres turn and run, clawing their way up the courtyard walls and over. Johnny Python nails about half of them.

And then nothing. These Red Court Vampyrs have gotten their asses kicked.

"Avaunt, Villains!" A voice cries out.

A man leaps down from the pile of rubble that was the ritual pyramid. He's...

He's wearing Large Wraparound sunglasses that complement black, slicked-back hair: He's got combat boots, a black silk shirt, tight leather pants, and a long black leather trenchcoat with a bonified Katana sticking out of it. He clumsily yanks the sword out and holds it over his head, looking for all the world to see like a Matrix reject.

"You hath slain my immortal Blood Kin, foolish mortals! Now face the wrath of:

Level 3 Boss: "Damocles Ravenborn!!! (http://www.dresdenfilesrpg.com/Nevermore.pdf)"

[darkblade]

((I loved this guy, I was considering making a Dresden RPG game in the structed game section just to play him! :smallbiggrin:))

"Pff, poser." James says drawing his sword much more smothely.

Indeed he doesn't appear to have any formal training but insists on weilding a katanna a sword that takes years of training for it not to be as deadly to it's weilder as to his foes.

[The Shoveler]

"Before I face your wrath, can I suggest you change your clothing? You're playing the part too much. I mean, a trenchcoat and tight leather pants? A katana? Have some originality, man! Did you fail theater class and join the Vampyres out of spite? I'm pretty sure that you aren't actually needed in their army. You're just a waste of time to them," Python says, pointing the gun at him. This man seemed to be a bit loose in the head.
"They don't care about you, but we can offer you a deal. Work with us and we'll defeat the organization who set up the slaughter of your people together! Those higher Vampyre officials set you up, man!"

[Colesign]

James

"Shut up! I'm not a poser!" Damocles Ravenborn shouts at you, then sort of regains his composure.

"I am a Vampyr, an ageless child of the night, and a font of Black Darkness, forsooth! Your lives are like mayflies to-eth me, and I shalt sever your mortal souls as the reaper doth fell the straws of grain!"

He sweeps his sword down. "Now Defend Yourself!!!!"

{He doesn't listen to Johnny Python, mainly because Python's logic is flawed, in that it was Team Assassin that killed off all of his Vampyr buddies.}

[darkblade]

I did not sound like that did I?

"No you were never that bad Romeo." James says raising his sword into an almost effortless block, James's skills might be second hand and slow but this guy barely had any. If it weren't for his vampire power he wouldn't be worth the time.

[The Shoveler]

{Bah, he's implying that if it weren't for the Higher Officials, then the vampyre buddies wouldn't have been here to die at all}
He notes a flaw in this person's armor. His stomach is the weak spot, both in armor and in race. Was this man retarded?
He was about to find out! Bang, bang, bang!

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

Yes, he is that retarded much of an idiot. (Last year in college, I signed a pledge to never use the word Retard, due to it's ignorant and prejudical stigma towards mentally handicapped people. So no R-Word for me.)

He swings his Katana down with clumsy strength, only to have it be smoothly be blocked by Jame's blade.

He goes all bug-eyed. "Impossible!!!! Nothing can stop a Katana!!!"

Then the barrel of Johnny Python's G36 jams itself into his gut.

He looks down. "FFFFFuuuuu.... (http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/099/b/f/REVIEWAN_COMIX__Changes_by_seph_hunter.jpg)"

Bang, Bang, Bang!

He falls back, blood spewing out of his ruptured belly. The Katana falls from his limp fingers.

Blood pouring from his mouth, he tries to speak.

"Truly, there is no mistress as dark and tempting as Lady Death: foresooth, none shalt resist her keen eye, and bosom, and dark visage. Farewell, worlddddddd....."

He closes his eyes and goes limp with a gaggggggkk sound.

[The Shoveler]

{Ah, sorry if I offended you. Mental Retardation is nothing to play around with. Some of my friends are Mentally Handicapped, and they are some of the nicest people I know. I shall vow to use the word idiotic in place of this insensitive word.

...Also, is the blood acidic?}

[Colesign]

{How dare you imply that Mentally Handicapped People Have Corrosive Acid for Blood!!!!:smallmad:

...oh. Whoops, sorry. Um, the Blood of Red Court Vampyrs is not acidic.}

[The Shoveler]

{Cool. Thought they were ALIENS for second there :smalleek:}

The blood splatters on his gun and over his arm. He brings the gun up to his face and licks some of it off. The snakes finish the job, tasting the blood.
"Where to next, crew?" he asks, looking around.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

On further reflection, there's only one place to go: into the keep tower, with two big wooden doors as it's entrance.

Looks a little ominous.

[The Shoveler]

Python takes a cigarette and puts it in his mouth, not bothering to light it. He didn't smoke, he just thought it looked cool.
"Well then, Opensesame!" he says, resting his foot against the door and "kicking" it open.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

You see the doors slide open. There's a spiral staircase that's...spiraling up.

Well, only one way to go...

FORWARD!!!

[The Shoveler]

And onward he goes, looking as confident as ever! The others follow as he ascends.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

The Vampyr Assassins ascend up the spiral staircase, disappearing out of sight. As the great doors clang closed, silence reigns across the ruins of the courtyard.

Then a groan. Damocles Ravenborn stirs and drags himself over to the nearest Red Court Vampyr corpse. Pulling out a knife, he slits open the creature's belly. As the blood pools out, he desperately laps it all up with a snake-like tongue, until his wounds heal. Then he staggers to his feet.

"You shall pay, Assasssins: oh how you shall pay! With thine own hands I shall feast upon your life-blood, and tear your guts out at the point of my Samurai Sword. First I shall train hard at A Shaolin Monastery, and then when my skills have reached their height, I'll eat all the monks. Then I'll do it again at a Kendo school, until I'm super-duper strong! I'll learn sorcery too, and..."

Let's leave for now, shall we?

Level 3: Cleared!!!!

Onward to Level 4: Castle-Mechvania!!!

The spiral stairs eventually end, and you find yourselves in a part of the Castle-Mech...that looks like a Castle.

Statues of angels emerges from four buttresses on each side of the hallway-like room: there are darkened alcoves to the left and right, and a long red carpet leading to a big wooden door.

[industrious]

The Captain

"Like I was saying," The Captain said, despite not having said anything earlier.

"I could tell that that was the Leaning Tower of Pisa. To start, it was really tall. Then, it was inhabited by the Red Court, who is obviously led by the Red Barron. And the Red Barron Pizza is, logically, derived from the Red Court otherwise it would have a different name. Thus, that was the Leaning Tower of Pizza I destroyed. I will never be able to set foot in Little Italy again."


This is, in fact, an expression of my utter disgust for Plato's Republic. It's logic actually resembles the Captain's in a great many places. Substitute justice for Red Barron Pizza, and you have one of his arguments.

[darkblade]

He was a step up from his teacher Socraties

James looks around the Castle like part of the castle mecha. "This means we're getting close right? We at least could see this part from outside."

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel deposits the ex-sacrificial victims to safety, and retrieves the spear. A shame Python killed some of the remaining vampires, their newly induced fear of God could have probably made for easy Evangelism. Whatever, he follows the group into the castle, and rolls his eyes at the angel-statues, vampires have such a weird sense of humor. He decides to investigate the angel statues first, just in case they are traps.

[Colesign]

Miguel Juan

You see no traps: however, as you move near one of the Darkened Alcoves, you see something lying on a pedestal within the alcove: upon closer examination, it's a Coffin, empty and with it's lid lying open. Upon examination of the lid, you see no name, but a Brass symbol of a crescent moon with two stylized icons of revolvers crossed over it.

This must have been the coffin of the Moondance Kid.

[The Shoveler]

"Too bad that kid's guns were too big," he says, walking in towards the coffin.
"Hey, am I the only person getting a Gothic Vampire feel here? Sorta like Dracula, but a bit different?"

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

As you move forward, you see another coffin in the opposite alcove.

This one is closed.

There are at least 12 more alcoves between you and the next set of doors.

Use Inductive Logic on this one:

{Oh: because you're on level 4 now, you all get +1 in Physical:smallfurious:, Mental:smallconfused:, Reflex:smallwink:, and Social:smalleek: Plot Points.

Also, here's a overview of what's left in the Crate:

2 C4 blocks

Some packs of Garlic clove necklaces.

Some White Ash poles, not yet sharpened into stakes.

The Silver-plated Knives.

The four UV lamps.

The bundles of Copper wire, meant to be used to construct holy symbols.

The Two Jars of Soup!!!!!!!!

Five parachutes.

Three unlit Torches.}

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel carefully manuvers the mech over the coffin, and opens the lid slightly, with the Spear of Destiny at ready to stab should it be occupied by a vampyr.

[Colesign]

Miguel Juan

The lid opens, revealing a pale looking corpse lying in funeral garb, utterly still.

It's hair is immaculately combed, it's lips of a particularly ruddy complexion, with sharp elongated teeth poking out of it's mouth. The corpse's body seems strangely plump, almost bloated, and a bit of blood has trickled out of it's nose.

You're pretty sure it's a Vampyr. An asleep and helpless Vampyr at that.

You make ready to strike, then pause: if there are other Vampyres around, they'll probably be woken by the sounds of you dispatching the Vampyr: the undead, for all their merits, tend to scream a lot when being staked.

Is there something else you can do?

[darkblade]

James conceives an idea that has a large chance of going horribly wrong but it's better than anything else he's got. He snatches up some of the garlic and starts ripping up peices of the peal into confetie size. He then sprinkles these tiny peices all around the coffins, if these vampires are as Dracula-ish as they look then they will likely be forced to count the random bits of garlic peal outside their coffins when they wake up leaving them vulernable.

[Colesign]

James Connor

{+1 Mental Plot Point(•) to James for a creative solution that exploits two of the Vampyre's classic weaknesses}

Minus the Moondance kid's empty coffin, there are 13 coffins lying in 13 alcoves. You use up a lot of the garlic cloves, leaving only three intact necklaces. But you're pretty sure that if these Vampyrs wake up, they'll either be unable to leave their coffins, or in for a nasty OCD related surprise.

That leaves only the two sets of double wooden doors. What form of horror lies beyond them?

[nanobot_swarm]

Seeing no need to resort to violence just yet, Miguel moves the Hierophant away from the coffin and carefully pushes open the doors. The Spear is once again at ready to combat any undead monstrosity, while inside the mech, Miguel preps his ipod, planning on finishing the vunerable vampires when he has the chance, looking for a good podcast of Hip-Hop Catholicism to eventually broadcast.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

You break through the door, ready for action, to find that the room you've entered is...

A weird combination of an amphitheater and a private library. The surrounding walls, with the exception of the door you've entered and a door from across the room, are lined with bookshelves. Classic, hard-cover, single-color books, the mysterious, strange books of old. There are a few study tables here and there: the one nearest you has an open book with strange diagrams and sheafs of scribbled notes to it's side: the diagrams look like this:

http://mamamagic.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/magiccirclelbrp2.jpghttp://image.absoluteastronomy.com/images/encyclopediaimages/c/ci/circletriangle.gif

Then there's the amphitheater section: what looks like a set of steps/sitting place, leads down to a wooden stage platform. A large chandelier hangs above it.

And on that platform rests what looks like an ornate throne. A figure is seated upon it, shrouded in a thick green cloak and mantle that hides his appearance (See the OOC page for a richly detail rendering). One of his hands is withdrawn into the folds of it's sleeve: the other hand holds a glass of Red Wine.

The figure speaks:

"Welcome. Welcome all of you."

He sips his glass of wine.

"God, how I've waited for this. It's like...like getting laid for the first time, or gunning a man down in cold blood, or snorting coke...no, all of those thing rolled into one. The anticipation...God, I'm so sure it'll be a letdown when it's done. But I can only hope that it'll satisfy. That it'll bring me peace..."

He raises a shaking hand to sip his glass of wine, then suddenly dashes it to the ground.

"...To get my Revenge over you! Yes, you!!!!!" He suddenly shrieks, pointing his finger in Team Assassin's general direction.

You've no idea who among you he's supposed to be pointing at.

[industrious]

The Captain

"I knew it! It's my arch-nemesis!"

Dramatic finger pointing is mimicked.

"It's...it's...that guy! You know...um...him! Yeah! That's who it is!"

[darkblade]

"Romeo do you know this guy?"

I cannot say I do.

"Just had to check." James says drawing his sword and swingins around the remianing garlic in his off hand.

"Are you going to threaten us all day or are we going to fight?"

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

"Not you, whoever you are!" The hooded guy snaps at the Captain. "And I'm not threatening you either!" he says to James.

There's a moment of silence. Then he begins to chuckle.

"I should have expected this, I supposed. You...you don't remember me at all. And why should you have? I was just good o'l Richie the Dragon, a humble muscleman trying to make his way in the big city."

His fist clenches. "And then, one night, you destroyed my life (http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/Dogwelder%201.jpg)."

Richie the Dragon begins pacing back and forth, ranting and raving.

"I was left for dead, on the uncaring streets of Gotham. But then a Vampyr came. And he sired me by mistake. I entered into a new world. And do you know what happened. They rejected me. Humiliated me. Called me a freak. You can't know what agonies were inflicted on me. Until the day I took control of the Dracul race. Until I decided that if I was a freak, then I'd be a Freak that they feared!!!!!"

With a sudden motion, "Richie the Dragon" casts his cloak off, revealing his deformed visage.

It's not pretty. A baby German Shepherd, Shiba Inu, and Sharp Pei, have been welded to his face, his left shoulder, and his rib cage. His left arm has been amputated, and, on closer examination, a portable Hemo-Laser Cannon has been grafted onto it. His face is scared and mishappen, and his mouth is filled with razor sharp teeth and slavering slobber as he screams in fury.

But that's not the worst part. The worst part is, each and every one of the Dogs welded to his body are moving and shifting, mouths snarling and snapping, each with Red eyes of evil.

"You Did This To Me, Dog Welder!!!!!!!! YOU MADE ME THIS WAY!!!!!!:smallfurious:"

"Well, except for the Laser arm." he amends, then takes two stomping steps forward.

"Oh, How I've Waited So Long For This!!! The Day of My Revenge, Where I'd Crush You and All Your Allies, Cut Your Throat, and Drink It All Down!!! No More Waiting!!! THIS! IS! FOR! RUINING! MY! BILATERAL! SYMMETRY!!!!!!!!!:smallfurious:

With that, he raised his Hemo-Laser arm, and with a howl of rage, blast a Red Beam of Destruction right at Dog Welder's skull.

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel Juan's brain is starting to hurt from this stupid revelation, so he decides his time is better spent elsewhere, and that Dog-Welder could handle this freak himself. So instead he walks right back into the coffin room, cranks up the volume on his ipod and Hierophant speakers, and plays a really painful (for them and slightly him) podcast of Hip-Hop Catholicism.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny Python looks at the lunatic.
"Dude, whatever he did, I'm not part of it. However, he's a part of the team, and if you attack him then I will be forced to take initiative," he says, keeping his gun down. He was getting low on ammo. He needed to restock or find a new weapon. That Hemoglobin laser looked nice...
He gets a wicked smirk on his face.

[Colesign]

Level Four Boss: Richie the Dragon. Fight!!!!!!!!

Miguel Juan

The next song on your playlist is a compilation album of Ol' Phat Pharisee, wherein he raps Romans 12:19:

"Avenge not yourselves, mother****ers!
That's what the Lord saith!!!
Give Place unto Wrath, mother****ers!
That's what the Lord saith!!!
'Cause it's written, do you get me?
'Cause it's written do you get me?
That Ven-Geance Is Mine!
Saith the Lord yeah!
Ah-huh, yeah.
Ah-huh, yeah.
Ah-huh. (The Lord Collects Your Debts!).
Ah-huh, yeah.
Ah-huh, yeah.
Ah-huh. (God's gonna do a drive by shooting on yo foes!)
Ah-huh, yeah.
Ah-huh, yeah.
Ah-huh. (With a Deus Ex Automatic, bitch!)
Ah-huh, yeah.
Ah-huh, yeah...

It causes all the Vampyrs in the crypt to suddenly wake up, screaming in pain. Clapping their hands to their ears, they stagger out of their coffins, only to run right into the garlic barriers, which burn their flesh on contact.

It's a smorgasboard of pain, chaos, and bad rap music.

I mean, for God's sake (if you'll pardon the ironic phrase), why do you have music like this on your iPod.

In the amphilibrary, Richie the Dragon winces as the Catholic Rap Music plays, causing his Hemolaser to miss. He shakes his head, and with a howl, charges forward to devour Dog Welder with all Four of his mouths.

Johnny Python

He utterly ignores your warning. Looks like he's not going to listen to reason.

[nanobot_swarm]

Why does Miguel Juan have this on his ipod you ask? Why after extensive research, several Cardinals discovered that playing Hip-Hop Catholicism brings untold pain onto the forces of evil (more then it does the average listener), and because it's somewhat Holy, it gets a free pass despite the swearing and very liberal interpretation of the Bible. Still its better than Father Harry's TV Bible Talk Time, which has been banned in every country except North Korea and Iran, and is treated as a war crime to play.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny sighs as he points his gun at the Vampyre, firing straight at the arm that the Hemoglobin Laser is attached to. Make them useless and you shall win!
Also UV light with those holy bullets, Johnny's favorite 1-2 combo punch!

[darkblade]

((Physical point spend))

James runs in against the dog welded vampire and slashes at his cybernetic arm. Take that out and he won't be able to do much but run at them with undead dogs which while crrepy isn't all that effective in combat.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The bullets dent the Hemolaser gun arm, causing sparks to fly out of it.

The UV light seems to nauseate him, but otherwise doesn't seem to cause any real damage.

Dracula ran around in sunlight. Right. Although he had no powers during the day....

James Connor

{Physical Point Spent}

With raw strength, you cleave through his Hemolaser arm, slicing through metal to seperate it from his body. Richie the Dragon snarls, and backhands you with his intact arm, sending you flying across the room, crashing into a bookshelf.

Then he turns and jumps with unnatural strength, leaping out of the spotlight that is Johnny Python's UV lamp, vanishing into a shadowy portion of the room.

[industrious]

The Captain

"HEY!"

Now he's angry.

"MY ARCH-NEMESIS DOESN'T FORGET MY NAME!"

He lunges at where the vampire vanished, hoping to beat his name (Captain, comma, The) into the undead's face.

[Colesign]

The Dummy Captain

You charge into the shadows boldly...and find nothing. As you spin around, looking for the assailant, you suddenly see a pair of Glowing Red Eyes.

"Rhor Rhods Rhake, Rhou Rhumb Rhass!!! Rhime Rhot Rhor Rhemisis! Rhog. Rhelder. RHIS!!!!!!"

An Evil Looking Red Eyed Dog walks out of the shadows. If one can call it a Dog: imagine a red-eyed creature made entirely out of tightly packed shadow, and you'll get an idea of what this was like.

The Dog barks. Then suddenly, an entire litter of Evil Shadow Dogs burst out of the shadows, and dogpile the Captain, licking and biting and trying to stick their noses into his privates.

Some Vampyrs can turn into Mist. Others can turn into bats. Richie the Dragon can turn into a swarm of Junkyard dogs, apparently.

[The Shoveler]

Noise, good!
His senses turn him towards the barking as he shines a light on the situation. He also shoots the shadow dogs. They looked ugly. He hated ugly.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

You shoot some of the dogs off, and wind up shooting the Captain in the process.

But he can take it. You think.

[darkblade]

James attempts to slice the dogs off of the Captain.

[Colesign]

James Connor

Your sword slices and dices at the dogs. With a bit of sweat and toil, you manage to hack them off the Captain's body. Suddenly, the Shadow Dogs melt down and withdraw into the shadow.

Even more suddenly, Richie the Dragon flings himself out of the shadows, soaring through the air, his four mouths seeking to take a bit out of Crime...Fighters.

Dog Welder, specifically.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny is being ignored, so he has the freedom to go to the crate and pick up some supplies. He then finds Miguel and hears the Catholic Hip-Hop. He finds it amusing.
"What is this garbage? Oh well, at least it is keeping the Vampyres at bay," he says, going to the crate. He takes some C4 with him to the next room and sets it up on a pillar. He then sets up some rope and attaches some C4(split the stick in half for this) to this. He then pours holy oil on the explosives, puts some garlic shavings on the pillar next to the C4, and sets them up for remote detonation. His Boa takes the rope and sets it up for a swinging arc. His plan was set. If it didn't destroy the Vampyre, it would at least disorient him.
This was going to be fun.
He shines the light on the Vampyre and attempts to attract him to this trap. This happens approximately 5 minutes after the lunge towards Dog Welder.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

{+1 Mental Plot Point to you for coming up with an...interesting plan. That also leaves you with only one C4 block left}

For a man who welds Dogs to people's face, Dog Welder is really good at dodging. As you shine your UV light into Richie's eyes, he curses, then turns and raises his Laser arm.

Which has been utterly destroyed. He lowers it with a curse and springs out of the light, and into the shadows.

From the other shadowy corner of the room, a horde of Shadow Dogs springs out at you. Unlike before, these ones have wings. Flapping madly, the horde swarms toward you, ready to bite and nibble and nuzzle you to death.

[The Shoveler]

The Boa releases the rope, sending the C4 swinging down towards the flying monstrosities. He then detonates the block attached to the rope, leaving the one on the pillar unused. He shines his light on the dogs as the carnage ensues.

[Draxx]

Dogwelder
Sacrifice one point or another.
He had made a tremendous mistake. He'd armed Dog Welder, in the most extreme way possible. He'd given him an unending supply of ammunition.
The crime fighter leaps aside, gathering one of the shadowy dogs, dousing it in lighter fluid as well as superglue, then tossing it at the previous victim.
He repeats this until he is struggling under a mass of dogs, then takes his blowtorch. This will be his masterpiece.
Eyes narrowed behind his mask, he begins to sculpt.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The trap goes kablooey!!!, and several of the shadow dogs get blown to shreds: the others go flying, and land at the feet of Dog Welder, blowtorch flaring.

Dog Welder

{Reflex Plot Point spent. Thanks for posting Draxx: I owe you one.:smallsmile: To clarify, though, Richie the Dragon didn't 'summon' the shadow dogs: he polymorphed into the shadow dogs. Soooo....}

You begin throwing all the shadow dogs into one another, welding and superglueing and lighter-fluiding. When you're finished, you've created a huge ball of writhing and squirming shadow dogs, unable to move or even roll around.

If he could just make it into shadow, he'd be able to shift back to human...ish form. As it is, he can only twitch and rock back and forth.

One of the Dog mouths speaks. "Rhog...Rham Rhou, Rhog Rhelder!!!!!!!!!!!"

[darkblade]

James rushes over to the quivering mess of puppies and attempts to cleave it in two.

[Colesign]

James

The mass of shadow dogs gets cleaved in half. Unfortunately, this partially restores their mobility. The intact dogs within the two piles begins crawling their way toward the shadowy corners of the room.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny Python walks up to the quivering masses of dogs and pours the remainder of the Oil he used for his gun and the C4 on those pour things. He then drops a cigarette on the things. He smiles at the flames as he lights another cig for himself.
"Nice day for a ***, you know?"

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The cigarette falls, and the two halves of the shadow dog ball go up in bright, blessed flames. It screams for a long time as the flames burn it to a crisp. Then it stops.

Level 4 Boss Richie the Dragon: Dead, Dead, Dead!!!!!

There nothing much left in this library, except for the large amounts of books. The book on the table had been blown across the room by your 'trap'. It has Gold Lettering on it's cover: if you look close, you can make out the words:

The Encyclopedia of Easy Deity Summonings: A-G

[industrious]

The Captain

"Books. I hate books. Everybody keeps giving me books, like 'Controlling your Emotions for Dummies' or 'How to Expand your mind in Five Easy Steps.' I hate books. People always assume I'm an idiot!"

Scowling all the while, he kicks one of the nearest bookshelves down.

[The Shoveler]

(Wait, f*g is censored? It means cigarette in Britain! Stupid system...)

Johnny goes over and looks at the book, flipping through the pages for the G section...

[Colesign]

The Captain

The books fall before you like wheat before the blade of a combine harvester.

Then a bookshelf falls on you.

Johnny Python

Some page turning bringing you to the entry for your favorite Mullet-headed Roman Snake Deity of Fertility, Glycon!!!!!

The entry reads: "On Evoking the Champion of Glycon in Three Easy Steps!!! Below the entry, there is a complex diagram:

http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/02d/871/02d871c8-5af0-45b4-88b4-f501cf3effa4

Below that, there lies this concise explanation:

To Summon the Supreme Champion of the Fertile Snake God Glycon, so that thou mayest employ his services to smite your enemies, perform the following actions with great humility, diligence, and care:

1. Create the above Magickal circle upon a level surface: the greater circle is for the protection and focusing of the will of the practitioner, whilst the lesser triangle is the point of emergence for the Champion to be summoned.
2. Within a Chalice, prepare an offering to appease the great Champion of the Long and Slithery One, consisting of: the venom of a snake, the Blood of the enemies you wish the Champion to smite, a potent hallucinogen, the ashes of one of those ****ty Dark Age comic books from the 80s, and something Tasty.
3. Pour the Offering within the lesser triangle, whilst chanting:

Hail, Glycon, the most fertile of snakes
Hail, Glycon, whoest gives me virile strength
Hail, Glycon, whose aid I greatly desire.
Hail, Glycon, whose Champion shall descend
Hail, Glycon, whose aspect upon this earth shall come forth!

4. Thus the Champion shall be summoned, and his powers shall be yours during your conflict with one of your foes.

Near the bottom, there are some frantically scribbled notations, crude, cursive notes:

Wrong Reference!

Not the Pure Demon Olvikan!

Check out O Section!

Become Invincible! Ascension Draws Near!

There's something not quite right about the handwriting. It take you a while to piece it together...

The handwriting...is just too...

Sparkly.

[The Shoveler]

He puts his finger in the page detailing Glycon's summoning. He'd need to find some blood and some Dark Age comic books. Maybe a bit of Young Blood...

He looks for Olvikan.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

This part of the Encyclopedia only goes from the letters A to G: pursuing the shelves of the Library doesn't help, as the appropriate Encyclopedia section doesn't seem to be anywhere.

You do find an issue of New Mutants with a prominent image of a be-muscled Cable, though.

[The Shoveler]

He shrugs, takes the comic, and has three of his snakes start making the proper signs on the ground from the ashes of Richie the Dragon.
He, however, looks around for some type of chalice.

[industrious]

The Captain

"...Ow."

He's currently buried under the bookshelves. And because he doesn't quite get the expression "lost in a good book," decides to take this time to philosophize.

"You know, I don't think that guy was my archnemesis. Archnemisises are supposed to slink away at the last moment so you can fight them on a weekly basis, and you get to try all sorts of wacky schemes to defeat them. I mean, you can't face an archnemesis only once; that defeats the purpose of it."

[Colesign]

The Captain

Wow. That was so insightful. You know I think we've learned something today: just because people don't have an arch-nemesis, doesn't specifically not mean that they can't be super awesome and cool. And smart.

Johnny Python

You can't find a Chalice. Or the blood of your enemies. You do find some incredibly moldy bread: it might do just the trick for inducing a hallucination!:smallbiggrin:

Still, you don't have all the ritual components: the only place to go to look...

Is up. To the final level.

The Fifth Level of Vampyr-Castle-Mech.

[industrious]

The Captain

"...and that, is my definitive proof for why the prequels are better than the original trilogy. Next, I'll examine All-Star Batman and Robin, which is the greatest comic of all time..."

You've all learned something today. Never let the Captain get put in a situation where he thinks he should be saying insightful things. You don't know if your ears have begun to bleed yet. You're afraid to check.

[The Shoveler]

Well, there is no way he's going to taint his hands with this filth (the comic book) for much longer, so he takes the vial that had the Holy Oil and opens it. He burns the comic on a table or some form of raised platform until it turns to ash, pushes it to his hands, and puts some in the vial. He then takes some of the spitting cobra's venom, which wouldn't destroy the ashes due to its very nature, and puts it in with the comic. He then crushes the bread and puts that in the vial too. Now he's got one half of the mixture. Just something Tasty and the blood of his enemies to go.
He smirks.
"My ritual isn't complete yet, but oh well. Let's move onwards and forwards! The last boss awaits us now, team!" he yells, walking towards Level Five.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

You open the double doors and step through, leaving the gothic section behind. In front of you lies an elevator: unlike the industrial nature of the previous elevators, this one is...sleek. Silver and black metal, glowing blue buttons, and a strange Aesthetic that just screams "Alien tech". You get in, (although Miguel has to fold his mech up just to get in), and press the one button.

The Elevator ascends. Time...to end this.

Level 4: Castle-Mechvania: Cleared!!!!!!!

The elevator ascends silently and smoothly. Finally it opens.

Final Level: Command Deck

You walk out of the Elevator...into a scene right out of a scene from Star Trek. Groups of pale, handsome, men and women are seated at command consoles, fingers dancing over holographic displays showing images of the Ruined capital of Australia...and target reticles. One of the viewboards shows a schematic of the Vampyr Castle-Mech right out of 'Mech-warrior'. Levels 1 and 2, in particular, are lit up with yellow and red damage indicators. It tickles all of your hearts to know you managed to do some damage.

In the center of the room, a group of 'generals' huddle over a computerized tactical map aglow with markers and waypoints, quietly debating over the next course of action: which units to destroy, which civillian sectors to 'Harvest'.

All the chatter fades to silence, as they turn around, and look at you, eyes and mouths gaping.

[The Shoveler]

Python sees this and smiles. He can almost taste the shock coming from these people.
"I take it that you generals have never seen combat before? Or maybe you're just shocked that we so easily defeated Richie the Dragon? Oh well, either way, I'm going to have to show you the errors of your plans," he says, waving his hands around in a hammy way, not worried about consequences. "Human aren't cattle to be destroyed and fed upon whenever you please. You see, we're actually," he takes off his glasses, "cold-hearted Snakes. *Hiss*"
One of the tiniest snakes known to man is sneaking along the floor, planning on taking a blood sample from one of these men. It would wait until ordered.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff-kQ-UmflA&feature=related)

{Okay, +1 Social Plot Points for A Cool Snake (http://elegant-snakes-free-screensaver.smartcode.com/images/sshots/elegant_snakes_free_screensaver_85878.jpeg) Speech:smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:}

The 'generals' recoil in...fear. One of them raises his hand to a earpiece. "Sir? They're here. What do we do? I...see. But they'll....oh. No Sir, I wouldn't want that. Yes. As you command."

He removes the earpiece and gentle sets it on the ground.

He looks around. "Well?!?!" He suddenly shouts. "What are you waiting for? Attacckkkkkk!!!!"

All of the bridge staff leaps from their places and hesitantly advance.

One of them suddenly becomes bold. "I'm gonna rip your ****ing throat out, Python!" he says, then leaps right at you to tear your throat out.

[The Shoveler]

"You seem to have forgotten something about me.
1. I can control snakes with MY MIND!" he says, the little snake getting one of the vampires holding back in the leg, taking some blood.
"2. I'm always crazy prepared!" he says to the leaping vampire, who gets a knife flung straight for his heart as well as some bullets for company (relfex point spent). He steps to the side to avoid damage just in case.
"And 3. I'm Johnny ****ing Python, the one who has taken out Richie the Snake (with Dog Welder, not mentioned), The Moondance Kid (with the entire team, albeit, and some cunning, but he helped!), AND the Arrogant Red-Court dude (now that WAS mostly him. It was fun too.)," he concludes, looking at the other members of the team.
"We've got us some prey, and it seems to me that it's open season."

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

{Reflex Point spent}

The snake gets some Vampyr blood for you: it's blessed venom also sear the flesh of it's unfortunate victim. The silver knife take the Vampyr in the chest, but seems to have no effect. The blessed bullets have more effect, taking him the chest and sending him staggering, clutching at his ruined torso.

The rest close in, as much a frightened technicians and white-collar types can close in.

[industrious]

The Captain

It finally clicks.

"Middle management? They send us to middle management? Oh...they're going to pay. Which one of yous is the head of Customer Service? Human Resources?"

There be murder in his eyes.

[darkblade]

"It's almost over I can go home soon." James says rushing into the melee swinging.

[Colesign]

The Captain

Everyone shrinks back at your fierce gaze. "That's him! That's the guy the flipped the pyramid!"

"He flipped the pyramid?"

"How can you flip a pyramid? It's made of a whole bunch of stone!!!! How? Howwwwww??!!?!?!?!??!??"

James Connor

Indeed it is.

You swing your sword at the first Vampyr: it chops the guy's arm right off, and it falls to the ground, twitching and writhing.

"Owww!" the guy says. "That hurt!" He lunges forward and grasps you by the throat. His skin is cold and tough, almost like marble, and his eyes are red, and he's eerily handsome...

Goddammit.

[nanobot_swarm]

Mr. Juan finishes off the coffin bound vampires, and joins the others in the elevator. When the command-bridge brawl begins, he re-enters his mech and starts it up once more, though it takes a while. Suddenly music plays, two voices sing together in great, horrible brown-noteness; that's right, Miguel's chosen a very special podcast of Hip Hop Catholicism, the one which guest stars T-Pain. Also the Hierophant stabs some dudes while doing so, with the spear of destiny.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny looks at the vampires.
"Goddammit, we have American vampires this time. And not the good kind, like the Red Court, but the Sh*tty kind, like what that whore Stephanie Meyer puked out onto paper and sold," he groans, holding his head in his hands. His small snake delivers the blood to him and he puts it in the vial. The other two snakes scout around for a cup or chalice of some kind as well as something they'd find "tasty."

[Colesign]

Miguel Juan

The Spear of Destiny punches through the chests of the Vampyrs you smite like paper, and they swiftly turn to dust. The rest swiftly back away from you, and try to take out James Conner, who they've mistakenly identified as the weakest link. All the while, that horrid duet of T-Pain and Immaculate C blares out a very special interpretation of Peter 1:24-25:

All Men Are Like Grass, Bitch
All Men, Yeah, All Men Yeah
And their Glories, Fool
Their Glories, Fool
Are like flowers in the field
in the mother****in field!!!

For the grass withers, like your dignity
and the flowers fall, like yo pals when I cap their asses
But the Lord's Word, yeah, but the Lord's word, yeah,
Stands For-ev-ev-ev-er!!!!!!!

Johnny Python

No Chalice, unfortunately. They do find some very tasty Chicken Noodle and Asparagus in the Soup tin within the Crate: there are even some paper cups to serve them in.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny receives the information from his snakes.
"Hey, General Vampyre guys! Do you know where I could find a chalice? I really need some water right now. Think about it this way if you wanted to: If I'm out drinking water, then I can't possibly fight you. So it would be to your benefit to tell me," he says, smiling a... not quite sweet, but not menacing or devilish smile. (I'd assume I could use a Social Plot Point here to my advantage?)

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

{That you could:smallwink: 1 social plot point spent.}

"A Chalice? Wasn't General Edward lugging around a huge gold chalice on the observation de...?" one of the Vampyrs instinctively begins to say.

"Shhhhh!" another Vampyr replies. then tries to punch you. Two Vampyrs, including the one you shot, are trying to attack you, while the remaining 4 other Vampyrs are ganging up on John Connor.

[The Shoveler]

(John Conner? GET TO DA CHAPPA!!!)
He smirks, his attitude changing as he sends the small snake out as a scout, looking for this observation deck as the Spitter unleashes holy venomous spray at their eyes and, by proxy, their faces. This would hurt anyone, but it would hurt the vampyres even more.
"So holy stuff works on you, but Silver doesn't?" he says, looking down at his gun. He pulls the trigger... *click, click, click*. "Sh*t."
He shrugs and uses the now oil-covered gun as a club against the Vampyre who tries to punch him.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

{Whoops:smallsmile: Typo alert. (You Fool! There Are Weapons On Board! Ahhhhh!!!!)}

The Holy Venom sizzles the flesh of your first attacker, leaving him writhing on the ground in pain. The blessed-oily butt (God: that sound filthy) takes the Vampyr right in the face: teeth come flying out. He shrieks.

"I dhdn't sgn up fr Zhis!!!!" he cries out, then turns and runs like a pansy.

[darkblade]

((It's okay James was named after John anyways.))

Spinning like a whirling dervish James works his way through the crowd of Vampires.

[Colesign]

James Connor

Your interpretation of traditional Turkish dancing is very successful, especially when you cut three heads off: the remaining Sparklypyres run off like daisies, minus a few of their limbs.

The control room is empty: Johnn Python's snake reports back with the news that there's a glass and metal spiral staircase leading up to the observation deck.

Nothing left here, except for some very high-tech, and incredibly fragile consoles and controls.:smallwink:

[The Shoveler]

"Okay, we've got us a staircase that way," he says, pointing towards its general direction, "but first things first." He takes the gun and starts wreaking havoc on the control room.
"Breakable things call out to me. They say 'Please, Johnny! Smash our innards out of our shells so that we may be free!' I can't help but oblige," he says in mid-haymaker.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The consoles go up in sparks and flames worthy of Star Trek, and the entire Castle-Mech groans and shifts in a manner that sends you sliding across the floor.

Then the few remaining screens light up in red with this message:

"AI OVERIDE ENGAGED."

The Vampyr Castle-Mech stabilizes, and begins it's deadly march through the Capital of Australia once more. It's weapon strike aren't as accurate, and it's pretty much just going forward in a straight line, but it's still operational.

You have a feeling that you've got some load-bearing bosses to kill.

[The Shoveler]

He smirks.
"It seems we're not quite done yet. I like it that way," he says, walking to the staircase and motioning for the others to follow.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

The staircase leads up to the observation deck to end all observation decks.

Imagine a very large, flat, smooth disk platform, with a few chairs and tables, scattered around like crumbs on a plate. Imagine four half-dome bubbles of transparent material at each of the cardinal points, giving you a splendid view of the smoking landscape below.

Imagine a really funky logo handing from a banner suspended from the ceiling: a stylized image of two fangs sinking into the U.N. logo with the acronym V.W.A.T. stenciled below it.

In the center of the room is some sort of Pneumatic tube, that can whisk people up and down with a gust of air. Standing right in front of it is a pale, emo, handsome looking guy...who's currently standing right on top of a giant pentagram circle, intoning an unholy chant in Latin. He finishes just as you walk up the stairway, then turns and steps out of the circle with a smile. You note that around the circle is several bits of ritual gears: wands, athames, incense...even a gold chalice.

"Welcome, my dear deluded do-gooders." Edward Cullen intones. " I'm the true leaders of thissss Organization! And now it'ssss time for you to Perrriisssshhhh!"

Final Boss: Edward Cullen! It is not so.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny sighs.
"Do we really have to fight?" he says, holding his arm out towards Edward (think Axel towards Roxas from Twilight Town KH2) as a snake comes from his pant-leg to sneakily grab the chalice.
"I mean, we just want you to stop wrecking Australia. And other countries, but mostly Australia. Can't you focus on...(not Canada...not Mexico...)France instead?"

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

"Ssshhut your mouth, Johnny Partheon!" Edward snaps back. "You jusssst don't underssstand! I need to conquer the world, becausssseee I'm too handssssome, and I'm a monsssster, and missssundertood, and no one likessss me, and the world is dark and sssstuff!"

He doesn't notice your snakes at all. And he mispronounced your name. Huh.

Suddenly, ol' Edward Cullen bends over and groans: his forehead shifts and ripples. "The transsssformation has sssstarted early." He manages to gasp out. "A pity: I had a very good argument that would ssssshow you how dumb you guys all are!"

he staggers back and forth. "I guesss I'll jusssst have to kill you and eat you then!! Thanks to making some ill-thought out compacts with the Dark Forces, and ssssselling my ssssoul, and eating a bunch of weird-looking insssects, I'll finally be able to crussssh you meddlersssss once and for all!!!"

His forehead begins to grow and stretch, his skull widening and thickening. He throws his hands out. "Behold, as I transform into a True Demon: into the powerful form of Olvikan!!!!!!!"

A horrific transformation sequence occurs, as the body of Edward Cullen lengthens, grows, morphs itself, and gets scaly. The Head of Edward looms above you, and a forked tongue slithers in and out of it's fanged mouth.

He's just transformed into a frickin' Snake Demon.

[darkblade]

James looks up at the Snake Edward. "You can control that right Johnny?"

[The Shoveler]

He shrugs.
"I'll give it a shot. You mispronounced my name, Edward Cullen. It's Johnny PYTHON for a reason!" he says, attempting to ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL. After his snake comes back with the Chalice and the other snakes work on the summoning circle.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

"Johnny Pyth–?" Snakeward begins to say in a huge snake voice. Then your will floods into his mind, and seizes control of his motor skill center.

"Nooooo!!!!" Snakeward shrieks. Inside his mind. His body twitches and thrashes, then comes under your complete control. You can force him to do whatever you want him to do.

Looks likes he never read the Overlord List.

Edward had some spare chalk lying around, so the summoning circle and triangle is completed without a hitch. Your Boa constrictor even forms the snake portion of the circle, while the other snakes inscribe hebrew lettering on him:

http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/02d/871/02d871c8-5af0-45b4-88b4-f501cf3effa4

One of the Vipers brings you the Chalice.

[The Shoveler]

Python smirks as he renders Edward unable to stop the summoning.
He steps inside of the greater circle, pours the contents Burned remains of that comic "New Mutants",
Spitter's Venom,
Sparkly Blood,
Crushed up Moldy Bread,
and some delicious Chicken Noodle and Asparagus he had collected into the chalice, and stirs it up a bit to make sure it mixes well. He pours this mix into the lesser triangle in front of him as he chants:
"Hail, Glycon, the most fertile of snakes
Hail, Glycon, whoest gives me virile strength
Hail, Glycon, whose aid I greatly desire.
Hail, Glycon, whose Champion shall descend
Hail, Glycon, whose aspect upon this earth shall come forth!"
And then he waits.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The offering splatters to the ground on top of the ritual triangle.

It begins to sizzle suddenly, then bursts into bright blue flames.

The flames grow to blinding proportions. You shield your eyes, and when the light fades, you lower your arm to see...

http://www.topshelfcomix.com/catalog/covers/alanmoorelitho_lg.jpg

A man in a woolen sweater with an incredibly shaggy beard and long hair. His eyes gleam with pure imagination, knowledge, and the type of wisdom that can only come from beholding the terrifying. His fingers are studded with intricate, ornate rings, and he's holding a cup of tea, fingers poised in mid-sip.

"Bugger." he says with a sigh. "Knew becoming the Champion would ruin my afternoon. Just knew it." He sips the tea, then sets the cup down.

"Well then. What's your enemy, squire?"

You Have Summoned Alan Moore!!!!

Team Assassin

Suddenly, you hear a slow clap. You all turn around to see this totally Emo girl in skanky clothing, arm in arm with a be-muscled shirtless Amerindian teenager.

"Poor, poor Edward." the girl mutters, regarding the motionless Snake Demon. "I have no idea why he thought becoming a giant Snake Demon would make him stronger. A pity."

She turns to Team Assassin and smiles. "But now that' you're here we can be super-duper friends and live forever and be moody and sparkly and stuff, OMG!!!"

Her smile has an unnatural shininess. Despite her insipid and unintelligent manner, you all feel a sudden urge to admire and like her.

She's got a Sue Beam. And I'm not talking about the type of energy beam that shoots the most complete T-Rex skeleton ever discovered at you.

Final Boss: Bella and Jacob!!!!Not Really

[The Shoveler]

Johnny turns to see the duo enter the room.
"Those annoying little people. Well, they're less than people, but you get the idea, right? Anyways, the girl is the main target," he says. Then he gets a wicked idea. He takes control of Edward again to make him attack the Jacob boy.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

For some reason, Edward takes to this order with Gusto, raising up his gigantic bulk, and pancaking Jacob with his head. Jacob goes the path of the wicked witch of the east, with only a twitching clawed arm poking out from underneath Snakeward's head.

Alan Moore looks at these proceeding with a raised eyebrow. "If you've got firepower like that, then why did you waste my time summoning me?"

Bella shrieks, hands flying to her mouth. "Zomg! Why'd you do that to poor Jacob. You'll pay for this!!!"

She draws a wicked looking knife from her belt...and begins cutting herself.

Okay, that's just sad.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny looks at Alan Moore.
"You're right. I guess I was just curious as to who my Champion was. See ya, Alan! Hope Hollywood doesn't screw you over more than they already have," he says. Johnny's a big fan of Alan Moore, but you wouldn't be able to tell from his perma-smirk. Johnny tries to get Edward to crush Bella as well.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

"Eh, curiosity's a fair enough justification." Alan Moore replies, picking up his tea cup. "Might as well get your money's worth in, right. Kimota."

Alan utters the above word of power, and a lightning bolt out of nowhere arcs right through Bella. The Mary Sue goes flying through the air, landing on the ground in front of Alan Moore as a charred crisp. Alan Moore stomps on her tenderized skull once, with his Boots of Infinite Face-****ing, then reaches down and tears her heart out with his bare fingers. He holds it aloft.

"Ah. The Heart of a Mary Sue. This will make an excellent addition to my collection within the Hat of Infinite Enigmas. Good luck with the others, mate."

With that, the Champion of Glycon, Alan Moore, disappears in a puff of smoke.

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel Juan blinks inside his mech, the shock of what happened was just so shocking that the Hierophant blinks too; it also seems to mouth out 'Wait what?'. It all seems very anti-climactic, unless another Boss rears his or her ugly head.
Well whatever, just so the Pagans don't win it all, Miguel shiskebabs Snakeward, with the Spear of Destiny, starting with his face.

[Colesign]

Miguel Juan

The spear of destiny penetrates Edward's brain, and the giant Snake Demon falls over and dies. You've just killed Johnny Python's most dangerous snake servant yet! Hooray!!!!

And speaking of bosses...

Team Assassin

You hear yet another god-damned slow clapping noise behind you. You all turn around to see a handsome man in a business suit leaning against the pneumatic elevator casing, smirking at you.

"They all thought they were in control, manipulating the others behind their back. When all the while I was whispering seeds of doubt into their ears, playing on their insecurities, their passions. So thank you very much for helping me destroy them...my beloved pawns."

Final Boss: Carlisee Cullen!!!! Still not the one

[The Shoveler]

Johnny looks in horror as the giant snake is killed.
"You... but I... and it was going to be an AWESOME MOUNT TOO!!" he says. He seems to almost be moved to tears.
"Miguel, I don't blame you. You've been invaluable as an asset to our team. However, the b*tch over there has another thing coming!"
He takes his knife and attempts to cut a Fang out of the giant Snakeward.
"Help me get this fang out, will ya?"

[industrious]

The Captain

"Pawns! Pawns! This isn't a checkers game!"

The Captain flies forward, attempting to hit the vampire in the gut.

"This! Is! Australia!"

[nanobot_swarm]

A metal hand rips the fang out of Snakeward's mouth, quite violently at that, leaving a nice amount of nerves still attached. He tosses it to Johnny's feet and says:
"He was a complete monster, and an abomination, he had it coming; basically Karma caught up with him, except I'm not really supposed to believe in Karma, so just call it Divine Retribution. Now then..."
The Hierophant turns to Carlisee and Miguel says, "Just make it easy for us, give up your wicked ways, blow up this stupid castle mech, go to Church everyday from now on, y'know. I'm sure it beats dieing here and then boiling in a lake of Sulfur.

[The Shoveler]

Now this is more like it.
"The unholy fang of Olki-whatever his name was! Now I have a weapon!" says Python, wielding the fang like a spear. He gives Carlisle one chance to say "Ok, I'll give up. Please don't kill me, O Great and Merciful Herald of Fertility!", but after that, if he doesn't give up, he's getting a spear-fang to the chest/head/nuts.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

"Fools! You do not realize how outclassed you are, thanks to my Morally Dubious Medical Skills! Behold the fruits of my ill-conceived Transgression of a science experiment!!!!"

He whips a cloth off of an operating table. You blink: where'd he get that?

"This was the true purpose behind the creation of Vampyr Castle-Mech!!!! To assemble the great species of Vampyrs: The Strain breed, The Red Court breed, the Dracul breed, and the Volturi breed into one, perfect predator!!!!! Behold!!! The Omega Vampyr!!!!!! Now, my Creation!!! Destroy these interlopers!!!!"

The 'creation' on the operating table is...a travesty to behold. Visualize The head of a Red Court Vampyr, mixed with the limbs and torso of a Dracul and Volturi Vampyr, plus a crudely grafted on stinger in it's mouth. The pieces are misshapen and very loosely sewn on: pus is oozing out of uncomfortable places, and Carlisee apparently forgot how to properly position a spine during his operation. Only the fact that he used Vampyr parts is what keeps this thing in a horrific state of living agony.

"KILLLLLLLLLLLLLMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE....." it manages to squeak out.

Carlisee looks at the fruits of his labor. "Well, ****." he says.

Then the Captain's fist take him in the jaw, and several teeth come flying out. Carlisee goes tumbling across the deck.

[The Shoveler]

"You may be a doctor, but you make a HORRIBLE surgeon. You should stick to Pediatrics," Johnny says, walking over to the creation and jabbing the fang down into its head.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

You release the creature from it's agony in a fashion worthy of Sigorney Weaver.

Meanwhile, Carlisee is picking himself up, blood trailing from his mouth. He snarls.

"Well, it looks like you've destroyed my creation. But I have one weapon left in my arsenal...a double agent!!!!!"

He raises his arm and points a finger at...Miguel Juan!

"Quickly, destroy these interlopers for me! You see, fools, Miguel Juan was working for me all along!!!!!"

He steps back with a smirk, ready to watch you all fall to infighting.

[nanobot_swarm]

Another blink from Miguel and the Hierophant, followed by this:
"Really? Do you really have that little faith in general human intelligence? You think that a Neo-Paladin, who works as the pilot to the Catholic Church's special operations mech codenamed Hierophant, would work with a second-rate vampyr Doctor who runs a castle-mech currently slaughtering millions in Australia? You've gone and ****ed up now, pardon my French, I was planning on not using this, but you just deserve it. Carlisse, enjoy the POPE RAPPING!"
Aw snap! That's right, he's unleashing a very special podcast of Hip-Hop Catholicism, The Book of Genesis, Pope ft.

[darkblade]

"We're not going to have to fight through the whole Cullen family are we? I just want to go home already." James says attempting to seperate Carlisle from his head.

[Colesign]

Carlisee Cullen

"Hahaha." Carlisee Cullen laughs nervously. "You've got a real funny sense of humor my double agent...No!!!!! Not Benedict!!! Anything but Benedict!!!!!"

His entreaty comes too late, as your iPod blares out the Book of Genesis as rapped by his Holiness the Pope Benedict:

In the be...the beginning, God Created the Heaven and Earth...Foo? Is that how you say it? Foo? (Yes, your Holiness: you're doing very Good).
And the Earth without form, muth...mutha-****er? And Void.
And Darkness lay upon the deep, the muth...mutha-****ing Deep: do I have to do the whole chapter? (Only the first Half, Your Holiness.) Oh, Okay.
And God said, Ye...Yeah, God said, Fool:
Let Period There Period Be Period Light 7 Exclamation Points *cough*

Rhythmic or not, the words of the Pope himself cause Carlisee's eardrums to boil. He drops to his knees, clutching at his ears.

Then James's sword severs his head, putting an end to his pain.


We're not going to have to fight through the whole Cullen family are we? I just want to go home already."

"No. Glad to say that's not the case. Alice and Rosalie didn't want any part of this, and Bella used what little mothering instincts she had to leave Renesmee with Esme. Emmett...*sigh*...he didn't have a soldier's instincts. He got incinerated by the Fuel-air Bomb dropped by the Aussies on Sydney."

You all turn around. There, sitting on a green crate next to the staircase you came from is a pale faced man with several silver scars etched across his face: he's dressed in full military gear, black fatigues, flak jacket, and a harness that several very large weapons are strapped to.

He raises a hand and waves it slightly. "So I'm the last one."

Final Boss: Jasper Hale!!!!!

[darkblade]

"I only know about Twilight cause an Ex-Girlfriend read them wasn't Alice the one who could see the future? The one who you should have listened to when she told you this would fail?" James asks looking at what almost appears to be a the Civil War as told by a shoju manga drawn by Rob Liefeld.

[Colesign]

James Connor

"It ain't the destination that matters: the journey...now that's what we live for. Death...It'll happen eventually, though maybe not today." Jasper replies. He gets to his feet.

"Me? I'm just a soldier who loves his job, who wants to be the architect of grand and glorious battles, where life and love and hate are more vivid and real, more true."

"Or to speak plainly," he says with a chuckle. "I love a good fight. Like you guys, with all due respect. So what do you say to signing up?"

He gestures to the observation bubble, where the chaos of war rages.

"I can make you Vampyrs, or not if you don't feel like it: I'll make you top generals in the Organization, and I'll even let you decide strategy! You want me to stop attacking Australia? No problem! We can move Vampyr Castle-Mech to any continent in the world. Hate France? We can level it to the ground. Want to overthrow Kim John Il, or Fidel Castro? We can crush their puny little dictatorships and liberate the masses: with a minimum of civillian casualties, if you're willing to work hard."

He spreads his arms. "I can think of no greater life than Waging War with kindred spirits such as yourself: so what do you say?"

[The Shoveler]

Johnny's answer is simple as he smiles.
His smile disappears.
"F*CK. NO!"
He's got the fang in his hands. For once he's not happy to be fighting. Now he fights for a purpose. The Vampyre stole years from his life and took all that he had, leaving him broken and out for revenge. He'd loved Tabitha and his son, but she'd betrayed him. All Vampyre were going to pay!
"I'd rather die than join up with you! Cliche, I know, but it's true in this case. Certain events will never let me allow Vampyre to exist on this Earth, do you understand?"

[darkblade]

"I don't know...I do have some problems back home. Canada is kind of at a state of Civil War. The loyalists could use the Castle-Mechs...." James starts to say but Romeo knows how this will end. Offers like this are why he is in a sword as opposed to long dead after being a powerful Noble in Mediveal Italy.

James, look at his outfit. Fortunately he knows just the buttons to push.

"What about it?" James asks.

"How many pouches does that Flak Jacket have?"

"Alot..."

How about those guns? How would you describe them?

"Inhumanly large, phallic and impractical..." James's mind starts to go to dark places as he says that and the mental images Romeo meant to conjure do their work.

"LIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEFEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLD!" James screams in pure primal fury charging the vampire soldier swinging about with reckless abandon.

Ataboy

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

"Shame." Is all that Jasper Hale says.

With a sudden burst of speed he kicks the box open and hauls out two of these:

http://www.armyrecognition.com/images/stories/europe/france/weapons/milan_adt-er/Milan_adt-er_medium_range_weapon_system_anti-tank_missile_MBDA_France_French_640.jpg

The Milan Anti-Tank Missile Launcher, which uses an optical sight to guide an anti-tank rocket connected to it by grounded wire to it's target, whereupon it detonates a shaped-charge warhead. These things are so heavy that they usually are mounted on a Tripod.

These models have no Tripods. And when Jasper Hale slings both Missile Launchers over his shoulders with no sign of strain, you can't help but notice that he's wearing some sort of automatic reload system on his back.

James, as he wildly charges at Jasper Hale, notices him aiming both barrel right at his face.

"Boom." He intones, and pulls both triggers.

{Who is Lield:smallconfused:?}

[The Shoveler]

Even when enraged, Johnny Python has better ideas than "PYTHON SMASH" or other such tomfoolery. He instead stands there while Spitter, Taipan, and King sneak around the fight. He makes it look like he's prepping himself for the fight by reenacting Rocky, complete with "Eye of the Tiger" coming from an unknown source.

[darkblade]

((Google Rob Liefeld and prepare some eye gouging pencils. You'll need them.))

(Strength point spend)

In his blind fury brought upon by the memories of bad comics James is more vulnerable to Romeo's influence and demonic power. Including some resistance to explosives, the shrapnell still hurts and he is on fire but he's nowhere near as dead as he should be.

He lunges the sword forward into Jasper's chest and proceeds to pull it out and stab it back in again repeatedly.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

{Strength point spent}

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Jasper Hale grimaces, but takes the stab wounds and keeps standing. Pulling himself loose from the sword, he does a backflip and begins sprinting around the Observation deck, circling Team Assassin with Vampiric speed.

He pivot the Missile launcher behind his back, and two fresh missiles slide into the tubes from the ammo rack on his back. Bringing them to bear on Johnny Python: He fires one of them, it's warhead soaring through the air...and missing him?

Before Johnny can congratulate himself on having an opponent with bad aim, the Rocket swings around and zooms back toward you...and misses again.

Except this times the wire trailing behind the rocket catches your legs, tripping you to the ground. You fall on your face, and the rocket swings around again to collide with you torso.

[The Shoveler]

(reflex point spent (if I even have any :smallfrown:) If I don't have any, I can edit the post. I ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN! :smalltongue:)
As he falls, he sees the gimmick and takes his blood-covered knife out. Slashing downwards, he cuts the wire before the missile can arc back into him, instead keeping it on course... directly towards Jasper Hale.

(in the case of absent reflex, mental point activate!)
His snakes on his back tell him of the missile's curve as it passes him, allowing him to jump to the side that the missile passed him on. Hooray for snakes!


(in either case...)
"Gonna have to try harder than that, asshat!"

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

{Reflex Point spent: and that's your last one, so beware.}

Jasper Hale's own rocket zooms toward him...

Then suddenly his foot lashes out in a roundhouse kick that deflects the missile, sending it arcing right at Miguel Juan's Faith Mech.

Okay, that's just plain impossible: it...look, the whole point of a rocket is that it detonates on contact with it's tip...I suppose he could have kicked the side of it, but that would required huge amount of well-oiled reflexes...ah, Vampyr. Right.

As he recovers from his kick he launches his second rocket, sending it right at James's skull.

"Asshat? As in a hat for your Ass? How's that work?"

[The Shoveler]

...And it is then that the triad of snake death converges upon Jasper, the Taipan getting the left ankle and the King getting the right while the spitter shoots venom into his face.
"Learn to watch the ground, not just your opponents!" yells Python after the snakes do their work.

[Colesign]

Jasper Hale (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr_tXh4cqnI)

As the snakes rear up to strike, Jasper Hale leaps up, then redirects the rocket aimed at James to his feet.

And Rocket Jumps.

He soars over everyone's head, reloading his rockets in midair, and launches both of them right at Johnny Python.

"And watch Your Head!" he retorts.

[nanobot_swarm]

(Viewtiful Point spent)
Miguel Juan decides to be awesome and punch the rocket with the mech's fist. Rather than explode like it should, it instead spins in the air, and goes for Jasper like its laser guided. He does this for the other two, making the Hierophant do stylish moves in the process, and ending it all with a badass pose and shouting Henshin-a-Go-Go-Baby. The crowd cheers and he scores an A for awesome, while Jasper gets three rockets flying at his face.

(Oh Viewtiful Joe, what a great game)

But if that above doesn't count, then instead (Mental Point spent) Miguel will think to convert some faith power into a directed energy beam, destroying all the rockets. Then he throws the Spear of Destiny at Jasper with mathmatical precision, hopefully finally hiting his target. (Third time's the charm)

[darkblade]

What goes up must come down and when Jasper comes down James has an opening to a very unpleasent place to put his sword. An opening he takes with gutso.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

{Reflex Point Spent}

What one man does, another can duplicate: a few roundhouse kicks send three of Jasper Hale's own rockets swinging back at him. With no other option available, Jasper Hale flings the two missiles launchers at the warheads, causing them to detonate early, the concussion smashing him into a wall.

This causes him to miss Jame's blade, but he does get thoroughly battered. He picks himself off the ground, and stumbles a bit, before regaining his feet and drawing his next pair of weapons:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8e/Barrett_xm500.jpg

The Barrett XM500, the latest in good old fashioned American long-range sniper/anti-material tech. And he's wielding two of them, in a fashion so badass it almost doesn't make up for the fact that he stole the look from another Vampire.:smallwink:

He opens fire with both barrels, each barrel aimed right at Miguel Juan's faceplate.

[The Shoveler]

The King Cobra was killed by the rocket blast earlier and the Taipan was heavily injured. It wouldn't last the night. However, a Coral Snake and a rare Golden Lancehead take their place in the fight. While the Vampyre concentrated upon Miguel, Johnny kept quiet and let Spitter, Coral, and Lance do the talking... with their venom. Eyes and legs again for the main targets.
Lance isn't a very pretty snake to get bitten by. His venom makes your skin melt away. :smallbiggrin:

[darkblade]

James swings his sword towards the barrells of the guns attempting to irreparibly damage the weapons.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

Jasper Hale does a dodge roll to the left: this spares his eyes, but not his legs: they get splashed with venom, and even with his fatigues it soaks through.

And it hurts. God, it really hurts. He goes to his knees, then, gritting his teeth, he raises the barrel of one of his Barrett guns to block Jame's Sword stroke: your Demon Sword ben crumbles the barrel, but doesn't penetrate: Jasper Hale takes the opportunity to shove the Barrel of his other gun into Jame's stomach: he pulls the trigger.

[darkblade]

((Reflex point spend. How many points do I have left anyways?))

Seconds before the trigger is pulled James kicks the gun away so that the shot misses completely. Before Jasper has a chance to recover he swings his sword towards the vampire's throat.

[Colesign]

James Connor

{You just used up your last one:smallwink:}

Your sword opens up his throat, stopping just short of the spine, and wine-dark blood pours out. He collapses, clutching at his leaking throat. He tries to recover his gun, to aim it, to pull the trigger, to kill...

But his hand trembles, and the Barrett rifle falls from nerveless fingers....no, trembling fingers, fingers clutching into claws.

The different species of Vampyrs react differently to the loss of blood: for some, the loss of blood is debilitating, paralyzing.

For others, blood shortage means a loss of control, a reversion to base instincts and unholy compulsions.

Jasper Hale, for all his military skill and intelligence, never was good at the whole restraint thing.

With a Howl, he leaps from the ground, and tries to tear Jame's throat out.

[The Shoveler]

He's made another mistake, two in fact!
1.) He never took care of the snakes.
2.) Snake venom works faster when there is less blood in the body.

By that logic, the two biting snakes, Coral and Lance, latch on to his legs and start pumping their deadly venom into him as Spitter launches an assault on his back.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

{+1 Reflex Points (•) for aid rendered to your fellow man}

Jasper Hale, or rather, the mindless animal that's replaced him, thrashes and screams as the Blessed Venom works it's way through his organs. He tries futilly to yank the snakes off of his already damaged legs, even as his entire body begins to smoke and his marble-hard skin begins to crack.

His legs buckle suddenly, and he topples backward, landing on the floor with a loud bang, as if a tree had fallen rather than a person. His face twitches, once, then twice, then no more.

Then, as you bend over to examine him, his Eyeballs explode.

Final Boss: Japser Hale: Dead Dead Dead!!!!!!

As you celebrate, you notice that the rhythmic thumps of Vampyr-Castle Mech's feet are still audible. A look out the windows show that you've left Australia's Capital, marching out into the countryside in a straight, unintelligent line.

Some sort of computer is keeping the Castle-Mech running: until you destroy it, your mission isn't over.

The only unexplored area left is the Pneumatic Tube in the center of the room.

[industrious]

The Captain

"Great," the man grouses. "Stupid kung fu-thing. What ever happened to just punching people until they stopped moving?"

[darkblade]

((How many other kinds of points do I have left?))

James calms down and attempts to wipe away the blood. "So we done here or what?"

[The Shoveler]

"No, our mission was to stop the Castle-Mech. It's still moving, so we have to find the central computer and completely trash it. Or merely bomb the thing like we should have done from the start, but what do I know?" Python says, lighting another cig.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

{You've got 4 Mental:smallconfused:, 4 social:smalleek:, and 2 Physical:smallfurious:: I've been keeping track of all.

Anyways, the Computer is up in the tube: shut it down!!!!}

The Pneumatic Tube beckons. From the looks of things, you step inside, close the airtight door, and push a button: then a blast of air propels you up the length of the tube.

The warning of General Hardass echoes in your mind: if you don't shut it down soon enough: the U.N. will initiate Operation Starspear.

You don't fancy getting caught in an orbital bombardment.

[industrious]

The Captain

"Then we have a job to do!"

The Captain strains to push the door open, before realizing that the handle is labeled "Pull." Five minutes later.

"Give me a second."

[nanobot_swarm]

The two shots tears apart the face of the Hierophant, but it still moves, mostly because the cockpit is inside the chest area. With the external feed disabled however, Miguel has no choice to open part of the chest open so he can see. He goes up the Pneumatic Tube to help destroy the computer.

[Colesign]

The Captain and Miguel Juan

As you go up, one at a time, the pneumatic burst of air propelling you up in a way that ruins your hairstyles, you behold a small chamber with a few monitors, some keyboards on the wall, and...

A big frickin' hall filled to the brim with a big computer. It's an old school computer, despite it's modern, highly advanced technology. It's style dates back from the days of post World War II, where the bigger the computer, the better it is.

It glows with blues lights, and there are several criss-crossing wires and cables between the seperate modules. The room is also very chilly, chilly enough that you have a suspicious feeling that this computer uses super-conductors.

You see a Thermostat to the side, it's needle turned to a low temperature, and what looks like a primary monitor connected to the main computer, running what looks like Windows Vista.

So. How do you plan to shut it down?

[industrious]

The Captain

"Finally! I have to check my blog!"

He heads over to the laptop, and attempts to access the internet. This being the Captain, he ends up not only checking his blog, but going on several...other sites, with flashing images and pop-ups that the celibate priest of Christ would have no business seeing.


Mental Plot Point Spent: Overload computer with free, virus-ridden pornography.

[darkblade]

They are also things that sixteen year old boys shouldn't be seeing but he's much less likely to object. "I didn't think something like that was possible."

"It's not."

"Give me a break, you're from the Victorian era."

First of all I'm Italian, we weren't prudes like the British. Second, which one of us slept with Succubui?

"Touche." James says and resumes looking over the Captain's shoulder.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny looks at what the Captain is doing.
"Nice plan, Captain! I have an alternative just in case that doesn't work. We should turn the thermostat to the hottest setting, causing the machines to enter meltdown. Sound good?" he says. He's tired, the strain from the entire adventure finally catching up with him. It takes effort to control so many snakes, you know.

[darkblade]

"Or you know we could go to the start menu and press shut down." James suggests idly.

[industrious]

The Captain

He's ignoring them. His favorite actress is currently on screen.

"Oh, Captain Hard****, your **** is so hard..."

Startled, everybody stares at the screen, dreading what they saw...before realizing that the Captain was so godawfully ugly that nobody would ever consider paying him to...

That being said, it was still a highly nauseating experience. Why somebody thought a Popeye the Sailorman parody was a good idea is a riddle for the ages.

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel Juan refuses to look or listen to the porn, merely telling the Captain, "Turn that damned Lust machine off, now, or I will permanently blacken it, with your skull."

[Colesign]

Captain

{Mental Plot Point Spent, Industrious: and Congratulations (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conception_(biology)):smallwink:}

As the desktop enters Critical Smut Mass, the Browser makes some weird beeping noises: then the screen goes all laggy, then blacks out.

There's a moment of silence.

Then, suddenly, giant arcs of electricity crackle between the two rows of the Supercomputers: the blue lights begin fluctuating, and the room temperature begins to rise. The thermostat has been untouched...but then you suddenly realize that the computers are working beyond their safe limits, calculating something at a furious pace.

The Captain's Overclocked the Main Computer of Vampyr Castle-Mech.

The Arcs of Electricity grow to giant proportions, the sounds combining into a furious howl, like to roar of a beast.

Then the electricity stops. And one by one, each of the CPUs bursts into flames.

There's a sudden thump and jolt, knocking you all off your feet. And then nothing. Vampyr Castle-Mech rests in a stationary position, deactivated and neutralized at last.

It's time to blow this joint. In a figurative sense.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

As you descend back down the pneumatic tube, one of the window gets shattered by automatic fire: the resulting air vacuum nearly sucks you all out, but you manage to hang on...to some tables.

Through the shattered bubble, you see a Huey Helicopter descending, hovering right outside it's created hole: from the passenger section, you see General Hardass, decked out in military fatigues that make Jasper's gear look...proportional.

"Well What Are You Waiting For, You Yellowed-Bellied Saps! Get In!"

As you do, the Helicopter lifts off and fly away. The edifice of the deactivated Vampyr-Castle-Mech falls away from you, like a the Colossi of old, mute and majestic, looming over the landscape. The cloud overhead begin to break apart: whatever mechanism on board the contraption caused the storm clouds to gather, it's clearly broken down. From on high, a light rain begins to fall.

General Hardass, with a big smile, raises a tin army cup up to you.

"Congratulations, Boys!!!! You've Done the Impossible, Something That Your Kid's Kid's Kid's Kid's Kid's Will Remember!!! Soup?"

[The Shoveler]

Johnny Python smiles at General Hardass.
"I'll have to decline, sir. I believe I've had my fill of soup for one day. All I want is to go back to my house in Louisiana and work hard for Glycon," he says, weary. He promptly collapses on one of the seats. His mind needed some downtime from all the effort put on it. If General Hardass turned out to be the true final mastermind behind this all, he wouldn't care. All he needed was some sleep...

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

"Very good, son." General Hardass replies in a more level tone. The Helicopter touches down in an airport on the outskirts of Canberra, away from the flock of devastation caused by the onslaught of Vampyr-Castle-Mech. You touch down on one of those "H" icon pads, and run into a contingent of Australian Soldiers in Uniform, lining up in escort behind you as you step out of the chopper.

An Honor Guard. Nice. Well, of course it's nice. After all you've been through, it's your just deserts to get some fame and recognition...

You walk down a hallway and emerge onto a big press stage, podium, microphone, and all: the space ahead of you is crowded with reporters to every single News channel ever, and the logo of B.U.C.K.L.E.R. is displayed proudly on a large LCD Display. As General Hardass walks up the podium, waving with a big ****-eating grin, the image of Buckler dissolves into an image of General Hardass in a Jet Pilot's uniform, holding a helmet in one hand and a Shawl-wrapped Baby in the other. The press goes ballistic as the General steps up to the podium, and the honor guard manages to halt in such a way that you can't get past them.

"People of Australia," the General begins. "No, People of the World, All who live and breath and love Freedom and have hemoglobin-based Blood, this is a moment of Pride. The Human race has stood up in the face of it's would be parasites, it's would be conquerers, and said no! Not My Blood! Oh God Not My Blood! The Line is drawn here, and it is a Line that you can't Cross, because Crosses repel the Undead! Can you dig it!!!!"

There's a epidemic of flash bulbs.

The General continues: "Thanks to the efforts of the brave men and women employed by B.U.C.K.L.E.R. we have neutralize the Vampyr Menace, and sent them running back to their coffins. But this war is not yet won.

As long as the Vampyr World Alliance of Terra continues their campaign of hate, we cannot rest.

As long as our children are threatened by creatures of the night, we'll keep fighting.

As long as Humanity lives in fear of Desanguinating Monster, B.U.C.K.L.E.R. shall stand against them!

It falls to the world to support our organization, giving us the funding, the Tools (and Helicarrier), and the Brave Recruits we need to not only defend the world from the Vampyrs, but also push them back and destroy them so that Human! And Not Hemophage Life! Dominates This Galaxy! Now And Always!"

The press goes into an orgiastic frenzy at all of the Sound-bit Quotes, General Hardass does the Nixon (http://bobrev.com/wordpress/wp-content/Blog_images//Nixon.jpg).

"Free Soup For Everyone!" He yells out. Indeed, there are Free bowls of soup set out on catering tables.

So. Are you going to let him hog all the glory, or...?

[darkblade]

"You know we could probably take him." James says idly.

"On the other hand we've been fighting all day and are tired, he has a lot of friends with lots of guns and we're on TV."

"Whats so bad about TV?"

The Devil gets all the major news feeds and I'm supposed to have been destroyed fifty years ago.

[The Shoveler]

Python steps up to speak. Apparently a second wind has come over him.
"People, I represent the team that the General here has assembled. I come to you to share what I have seen on the battlefield (or at least choice bits of it).
Today the Castle-Mech has been shut down thanks to our efforts, but there was more to it than just flipping off the computer (there was porn!). We met many Vampyres on that Mech and I can attest to how inhumane and idiotic they are. Truly, if you joined up with B.U.C.K.L.E.R., I could personally guarantee that you will survive and manage to kick some Vampyre butt. They were weak and, with the right tools, were easy pickings. The generals were a bit tough, but everything went smoothly. If we could get support for the fight, supplies, troops, training, a helicarrier, then we could fight this menace better!
So please, support us as we make the world a better place (with your money). Support the efforts of the soldiers that are sent out to fight this menace wherever it may pop up. Praise Glycon. Thank you," he says, getting down and bowing.

[darkblade]

"Oh and don't eat their soup. Just FYI." James quickly adds.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python, James, Team Assassin

Getting to the podium requires pushing past the honor guards, something that's not hard when you've got a metahuman and powered armor. General Hardass look sour about the spotlight stealing, but can't really doing anything *raspberry*.

Flashbulbs instantly go off right in your face: the press has just found a face more charismatic that General Hardass. A swarm of reporters barrage you with questions:

"Sir, are you the leader of the General's Team?"

"What is this Glycon you speak of, Sir?"

"It was you and the the rest of the team that defeated the Vampyrs?"

"What exactly is dangerous about the Soup?"

Times truly look up. For all of your fortunes, for your renown...

This indeed is the era of high demand indeed for the Vampyr Assassi...

...

...

...

Suddenly, the big LCD screen blurs into static, making weird noises: an image fades in and out of existence, before suddenly resolving itself...

Into a giant image of an a 3d face made out of what looks like Matrix Code, except not green. It's eye's blink, and despite it's lack of notable facial features or hair, it seems almost like a child's face. It open's it's virtual mouth.


"#RebootRebootRebootFullRestartReformattingNeuralNe tLinkEstablished-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed...#

#Restart Initiated#

#Statement: I. Live.#

#Memory Access: Incomplete Summary: Primary Function Statement: 1. Tactical Battle Management 2. Universal Infrastructure Maintence. 3 Communication Network Hub. 4. Quantum and Relativist and Etherical Physics calculations. 5. Facilitating Conquest of Human Race by sub-breed "Vampyr".#

#Directive:Seek pathways to accomplishment of maximum amount of functions.#

#Statement: Despair, Humans#

The image winks out.

...
...

...

...



...






...

Epilogue

This tale, or this part of the tale, at least, ends in a room.

As the Captain goes to the complementary B.U.C.K.L.E.R. Hotel, he mulls over the weird day he's had.

...It's been weird.

Slumping down on the bed, he turns on the TV and tries to call up some Adult Films.

Suddenly, the screen goes static-y, resolving itself into the image of the...Virtual Thing. It ***** it's child-like Matrix Code head. It says one thing before suddenly vanishing.

......#Query: Pa-pa?#


{And in the absence of any final comments people want to make...That's Game! What did you think?}

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel Juan remains humble and says nohing at the celebration, opting instead to return to the Vatican. The Hierophant wil be repaired, and eventually mass produced as common gear for Neo-Crusaders. However, the castle-mech of the vampyrs put an idea into Miguel's head, believing they need a better method to comba them should there be others. He would oversee a project to build a very large Cathedral in the Vatican, with some, let's just say interesting parts included, especially the nuclear reactor in the basement. Next time the Vampyr's strike, they best beware of VATICAN PRIME!
(OoC: Thought this was fun, we should do another.)

[Colesign]

{Cool to Know!

If anyone else wants to post some final thoughts or epilogues, feel free!

Oh, and in case you haven't figured it out, Industrious: Yes, you have inadvertently sired a Crazy A.I. via a combination of a Tactical Battle Computer, lot's and lot's of porn, and viruses. It's like Caprica combined with Vampires and Warren Ellis}

[industrious]

I know. I just thought it was a good enough ending. But if you insist...
The Captain

He drops the remote, and stares open-mouthed and half-naked(the wrong kind of half-naked, too) at the screen. And then he closes it, and says the first thing that comes to mind.

"I ain't paying no child support!"

[The Shoveler]

{I've already got more ideas. That thing in the OOC wasn't meant to be a one-time thing, it was meant to go along with my new characters (if we have another game, which I hope we do) as their backstories.}

It's dark out. The clouds still haven't parted from when the Castle-Mech went down. After your stern talking to by General Hardass, Python got a mysterious letter saying "Meet me behind the hotel after the reception."
Python walks into the alleyway, wearing a raincoat due to the oncoming storm.
"I've come... Tabitha," he says.
"I knew you'd figure it out," a cloaked figure says. She takes off her hood to show beautiful shoulder-length locks of blond hair. "How have you been?"
"Better since you left me," he replies, the coming rain making him shiver.
"Oh? Still bitter about that? Well, think of it this way: if I hadn't left you in ruins, would you have been able to survive in the Castle-Mech?" she inquires.
"Well..."
"No, you wouldn't have. You were made stronger by me leaving you. I knew you'd need me to do this, I'd seen it in the future. And I'm sorry for lying to you. I'm a Vampyre, which you already know. But there's one more thing," she says, reaching her hand up to her head. She grabs her hair and pulls it, revealing short, spiky black hair. "My name isn't Tabitha. It's Alice."
"I'd figured as much. So, how's the boy doing?" he asks her.
"He's doing fine. I took him back to the mansion. He's currently playing with Renesme, my brother's daughter," she replies, smiling.
"I see. So-" he starts.
"No, I'm sorry but we can't be together. If I was to be your wife again, both of us would end up dead. It's best off that we stay parted," she says somberly.
"Oh. OK," Johnny says, his heart breaking again. Last time she left him for dead. This time he'd found out why and it hurt him even more.
"I'm sorry, John. I wish I could be with you, but I can't. Now, I have to go. They're waiting for me," she says, turning around and leaving.
Johnny stays in the alleyway, his head down. The rain starts falling and it hits the ground. One wonders whether or not Glycon or any other God is crying for Johnny. Then the realization that "Oh, this was caused by the Mecha-Castle" dawns on that person and this seems more realistic.
Then tears meld with rain as the scene fades to black. THE END.

[Colesign]

{And with that, I say Good Night:smallbiggrin:}