How to resolve an OOC conflict?

[iElf]

I love playing with my group. I really do. and the rest of my group feel the same I think. We normally get along quite well, apart from the harmless bickering on the side. but every session without fail, our GM, and his bother, one of our players, have a shouting match about some trivial thing , that can really spoil the mood. i really need some advice on how to try and prevent this from happening

[dsmiles]

I love playing with my group. I really do. and the rest of my group feel the same I think. We normally get along quite well, apart from the harmless bickering on the side. but every session without fail, our GM, and his bother, one of our players, have a shouting match about some trivial thing , that can really spoil the mood. i really need some advice on how to try and prevent this from happening

I use humor. It doesn't always work, but if you can catch them early enough, and get them laughing so hard that they pee themselves, they'll forget what they were about to argue about. A little drink coming out of their noses won't hurt anything, either.

[Psyren]

Ask them to set a ground rule, before every session, that if an argument gets too heated you should all break from the table and cool off for awhile. Maybe play a round of Smash Bros. or something to channel that energy.

[Susano-wo]

I love playing with my group. I really do. and the rest of my group feel the same I think. We normally get along quite well, apart from the harmless bickering on the side. but every session without fail, our GM, and his bother, one of our players, have a shouting match about some trivial thing , that can really spoil the mood. i really need some advice on how to try and prevent this from happening

Rule #1, always double tap

Serisouly, though the best advice would be to have a talk, out of game, explaining how this is a problem. If one or both of them can't/won't knock it off, then it comes down to playing without whichever one/s won't put the effort into playing nice, and handling their sibling issues with some maturity, or just putting up with it, if the various risks and consequences of the former are too great/undesriable

[dsmiles]

Maybe play a round of Smash Bros. or something to channel that energy.

Or dodge ball. That's good for letting some steam off.

[freefallin1309]

Explain Rule 0 at the beginning of the game :smallbiggrin:

[Skorj]

Talk to them both together. If the two recognize that it's a problem, but can't seem to stop fighting (which seems quite likely if they're brothers), then just remind them forcefully each time it starts. I'd recomend a police whistle or bell to be sounded as an "argument disruptor" whenever they get going.

[MyLifeMyMusical]

I'd recomend a police whistle or bell to be sounded as an "argument disruptor" whenever they get going.

Squirt bottle!

[Radar]

It might be helpful, to propose a rule for them: if they can't agree on something (about the game rules or something game-related), then the other players have the final word, which is final. If it's not game-related, well... they'd have to learn to keep it out of the game.

I'd recomend a police whistle or bell to be sounded as an "argument disruptor" whenever they get going.
"Goooood niiiight. *ding* *ding* *ding* *ding* Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

[Mastikator]

Squirt bottle!

This.

Shoot them in the face when they raise their voice.
Give them candy when they relax and act friendly.

[Erom]

If the issue is really minor, you can also go "Roll a d6. Odd, he's right, even, you're right, move on."

Only good for minor things but if you have the type of players to shout over trivial things but are otherwise good people / friends, it works well.

Obviously, for more serious things, you'll have to sit them down for a little chat as other posters have suggested.

[Quietus]

I recommend vigorous, real-life violence. The more lethal, the better - lethal enough and you'll put an end to these spats, permanently!

Disclaimer : Quietus does not in any way honestly espouse the use of lethal violence, and the above should be taken with a truckload of salt as the sarcasm it is.

[Susano-wo]

A qestion emerges in the deep, dark cavern that is my brain: what kinds of disuptes are we talking about? I understand they are often minor, but is it rules based, story based (like he didn't like an action/event that the DM/player did), or social based (as in, having nothing to do with the game at all)?

[Feliks878]

A qestion emerges in the deep, dark cavern that is my brain: what kinds of disuptes are we talking about? I understand they are often minor, but is it rules based, story based (like he didn't like an action/event that the DM/player did), or social based (as in, having nothing to do with the game at all)?

This does seem relevant to the ways it can be approached. I also used to play D&D with my younger brother and it could be an issue from a non game perspective. We also have a few people who have a hard time differentiating between IC and OOC arguments.

Both of these situations had to be handled very differently. It's also relevant to know your relationship with the two players. Are you friends with one? Both? Is there anyone particularly close to one or both of them that can function as a mediator? Do they realize how much of a problem it is, but just lack self control? Does the rest of the group talk about it, or take sides in the arguments?

[kyoryu]

This.

Shoot them in the face when they raise their voice.
Give them candy when they relax and act friendly.

Don't forget to scratch them behind their ears, either.

What? It works with my dogs.

[dsmiles]

Don't forget to scratch them behind their ears, either.

What? It works with my dogs.

Wait. You use a water bottle on a dog? I thought you were supposed to use a rolled up newspaper, and smack them on the nose. Then you're supposed to rub their noses in it, so they see what they did wrong. Then you make dinner out of them. Mmmmmm...Kaegogi!

[kyoryu]

Wait. You use a water bottle on a dog? I thought you were supposed to use a rolled up newspaper, and smack them on the nose. Then you're supposed to rub their noses in it, so they see what they did wrong.

Doesn't work so well when the biggest thing they tend to do wrong is, um, "inappropriate licking." Annoys the wife to no end.

Then you make dinner out of them. Mmmmmm...Kaegogi!

Strangely enough, it's not even obvious how to get that in Seoul. Maybe north of the DMZ....

[dsmiles]

Doesn't work so well when the biggest thing they tend to do wrong is, um, "inappropriate licking." Annoys the wife to no end.

Inappropriate licking, eh? :smalltongue: It's all over the place, really. Maybe it's just easier for me to find it, because my wife is Korean. Really quite tasty, but if it's not cooked properly, it's pretty stringy.

[Valameer]

Oh, dogs, with their public displays of self-affection. :smallsmile:

I'd recommend getting the two problem people to race to settle their arguments. Make sure it's a good long distance. By the time they are done, it won't really matter who won - they'll both be too tired to fight. :smallwink:

[BlackSheep]

How old are these brothers?

It's really hard to get family members to be rational with one another, since they're all hauling a lifetime of emotional baggage. I've experienced similar situations gaming and just hanging out with a set of siblings. I've seen two perfectly reasonable, if slightly odd, individuals completely snap just because their younger brother walked into the room and said hello to me. There's no making sense of it, and simply asking them to knock it off probably won't have much effect.

The reason I ask about ages is that you likely will not prevail upon siblings any younger than their mid-twenties to set aside whatever issues they have with each other for the good of the group.

Maybe you could work out an advocate system where another party member argues the player's position to the DM. But yeah, trying to "fix" the interpersonal relationships of family members as an outsider is definitely non-trivial.