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crazywolf
2010-11-11, 07:31 AM
Well dosent matter really what game it is but i'm just curious about what kind of crazy storys are out there
i got one when i was Dming last week

the party was in the forrests trying to find evidence for why the merchant caravans are missing, after some looking around they found some goblins lying in ambush for something, the group decited to ambush them
(before i go further you should know that i told the paladin who is new to d&D that he could get equpiment at town when needed)
anyway they all got ready to ambush the goblins when this happend:

paladin: wait a minute
me: what?
paladin: can i buy another weapon? (he only had one)
me: Uhhh no
paladin: Why? you said i could buy equpiment
me: yes i did but you cant here
paladin: why not?
me: because you all in the middle of the damn forrest!
paladin:..............
other players: *lauagh at paladin*
yeah, what does the playground have to offer?

dsmiles
2010-11-11, 07:51 AM
We had some pretty funny moments in our Expedition to Castle Ravenloft game. Possibly too long to post here, but lemme see...(The humor here is almost entirely due to my character's narration, though. There were less funny parts than I thought, looking back.)

I cast: Wall of Text!
We enter the village. (Easy enough, right?) It seems deserted, so we investigate a few buildings. Completely ransacked, like somebody was looking for something. Every single building was like that, so we stopped looking in them. I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye, down a side street. I tell the barbarian, and we choose to ignore it, for now. We continue down the main street towards the town center, and we can make out some faint groaning (sounded like, "braaaaiiiiiiinnnnnns" to me). As we get closer to the center of town, the barbarian catches some movement off in the fog. Unfortunately, he gives chase, which means I have to follow him to save his butt.
He runs dead smack into the middle of a zombie apocalypse. "Great," I think to myself, "another zombie apocalypse." It seems like the zombies are pretty focused on breaking into the inn. I hear shouts from inside. "HELP US!" they yell. I guess there's no point in arguing, now. I'll save their butts and argue with them later. Two more zombies march in from another side street, and spot us. "Wonderful," I say.
Fortunately, the barbarian and I get the drop on the zombies. (Real hard, eh?) Just to start things off with a twist, I grease a couple of the zombies in the crowd. One of 'em goes down, and starts to flop around in the puddle. The barbarian charges the two zombies that came from the side street, and nails one. Hard. REALLY hard. It doesn't go down. "These sure ain't your mama's zombies," I yell to him. "Yeah, these buggers'r tough," he shouts back, "how many do think we got?" After I make a quick count, "More than one, less than a hundred." Then, out of nowhere, this translucent guy with a mace charges in off of yet another side street and wollops a zombie in its rotten head. The two zombies try to gnaw on the barbarian, and the third turns to attack the ghost-guy. "Well, at least he's on our side, for now," I think to myself. The rest kind of mill about pounding ineffectually on the walls and barricaded door of the inn. A couple of crossbow bolts come from the second floor, and a zombie goes down for the count.
I toss a vial of Alchemist's Fire into the puddle of grease. FOOSH! Apparently, fire and greasy zombies don't mix. Both of 'em go up in flames, but keep coming. "Crap," I say as I ready my Magelock. The barbarian takes another swing at the zombies, and misses horribly, losing his balance in the process. Ghost guy smacks around his zombie again, but doesn't seem very effective. The zombies mill around a bit, and another one's rotting clothes catch fire. One of the zombies manages to bite the barbarian, and another breaks off from the pack to start towards me. A couple more bolts come from the second story, and disappear into the crowd of zombies.
I back off a little, and drop another grease spell, overlapping the first. FOOSH! More flaming zombies. "Are we having fun yet?" I yell to the barbarian. He splits a zombie in two, and yells back, "I dunno, I don't feel so good." Great, I'm probably going to have to put him down after this fight. Ghost-guy over there disappears INTO a zombie, which proceeds to explode in a flash of pure white light and a explosion of rotten guts. Gross. The zombie on the barbarian takes a swing, and misses. The one on me hits me with its filthy, rotten claws. "OW! Quit it!" I yell at it. A couple more bolts come from the windows, and another zombie goes down.
I back off again, and level my double-barreled Magelock dead at it's face. Firing both barrels nearly takes its head clean off, but it's still standing. Mr. I'm-so-big-and-bad barbarian is starting to look a little green around the gills, so to speak, but he takes another swing at the nearest zombie and lops off an arm. The ghost-guy looks at me, winks, and wades off into the mass of milling zombies, who don't seem to notice. The zombie in front of me steps in and gnashes its claws ineffectually, and it looks like the others have managed to weaken the barricade. Another volley from the building takes out another two zombies. By now, almost half of the zombies are on fire. Yay, me!
Taking a quick step back while I focus on my Magelock, I blast the zombie in front of me with a shocking grasp. Good-bye, zombie! The barbarian smacks around his zombie a little, but it looks like his battleglave isn't working so well against these things. Ghost-guy reaches out an touches a zombie in another flash of light. That zombie turns to attack him, and misses. The zombie on the barbarian manages to bite him again, and the barbarian staggers a little. All but one of the zombies are on fire now, and the barricade is getting weaker. "Great," I say, "what's next?" A small chest of drawers comes from an open window and squishes a zombie flat. "Oh," I say. I guess the crossbows weren't fast enough.
I drop another overlapping grease puddle for good measure, and four zombies fall and wriggle around in it. FOOSH! The barbarian finishes off the second one with a flick of his sword, and moves towards the mass. Ghost-guy just stands there, and whacks one with his mace. A couple of zombies break off from the pack and head in our direction. Another heavy piece of furniture comes out the window, followed by a couple of crossbow bolts. I guess the furniture isn't fast enough, either.
I pull another Magelock, and blast a zombie in the face. This one goes down, first shot. The barbarian whacks a flaming zombie, and hopes for the best, while ghost-guy touches another zombie, with another flash, followed by falling zombie. More bolts from the windows. They must be out of furniture already.
I take time to reload both Magelocks, while the barbarian hits a zombie so hard his sword goes right through it and into the next. They both go down. He must be mad at them, or something. He's also foaming at the mouth a little. Ew. Ghost-guy over there, takes one out with his mace. The zombies are almost through the barrier, and we need to act fast. Another volley into the crowd, another zombie down.
I fire, and the shot goes wide, whilst my companion decides that pushing the zombies into the fire is a good idea. I wish he had thought of that earlier. He charges one and knocks it into the fire. Ghost-guy takes out another one, and now the barrier is on fire, too. "Wonderful," I mutter as another zombie turns towards me.
This time, I take more careful aim, and blast the zombie. Once in the guts, and once in the face, for the finish. The barbarian takes out another flaming zombie with his sword. That fire must be wearing them down. FOOSH! Wait, WHAT? Now the building is on fire too! Oops, my bad. Volley from the windows, two more zombies go down.
Ok, I drop a ray of frost to help put out the building, a little, and reload one of my single-shot Magelocks. The barbarian and ghost-guy both manage to take one out, but now the zombies have broken down the barricade and waltzed right into the building. CLANG! The zombie that was inside, falls back, with it's head smashed straight down into its neck.
I blast the last zombie, with my pistol, and the barbarian manages to finish it off. Whew!
I help to put out the fire, while the barbarian throws up all over. The ghost-guy waves his hands over the barbarian, and he starts to look a little better. We all have a little chat with the people in the inn, and learn that the mysterious Strahd vonZarovich has taken a fancy to one of the villagers. What's next? Cthulhu wants to marry the mayor? How crazy is this guy, sending a horde of zombies to kidnap one frightened girl? There's a human paladin here, and she asks us to accompany her to the temple. She believes that it's the place all the zombies came from, and her companions got separated from her two days ago. I tell her that it may just be best to let them go, if they went behind enemy lines. She's mighty insistent that we help her. Her companions can help us against Strahd, she says. I give up, at this point, we'll help her, but only so long as it doesn't interfere with me saving the village. Needs of the many, and all that.
So, the paladin decides to come with us to search the temple for her missing comrades. We don't even know her name, kinda like a one night stand, eh? We make our way down the street, towards the temple. It's still foggy, and our vision is pretty obscured. "Go figure," I think to myself, "fog in Ravenloft." We get to the edge of town and are coming up on the last couple of buildings.
"Something stinks," I say. *sniff* "GHASTS!" The Paladin yells.
"No," I reply, "if you're going to gasp, you just make the sound, you don't yell 'GASP!' like a loony."
"No," says the Paladin, "Ghasts, with a T, you moron."
"Oh," I mutter. "My bad. Where are the rotten buggers?"
"They're..." the paladin starts to say, but is interrupted by a charging ghast. "Man, do these things stink to high Valhalla," says the barbarian as he starts to froth at the mouth and charge another shape in the mist. SPLCK! He chops it from right collarbone to the lower left of its ribcage. "Guys," he says, "more zombies, too!" "Nuts," we reply in unison, as the Paladin charges the ghast. She sticks it pretty good with that big knife she's got. Not good enough, though. It takes a couple of test swipes at her. "HOLY HELL, LOOK OUT!" I yell, as two more ghasts charge out of the shadows behind us. They all take experimental swings, and one of them slices through the Barbarian's armor. He freezes. "Great," I think, "stuck saving his arse again." Two of the zombies go for the barbarian, and another goes for the Paladin. "Yay," I think, "I'm in the clear." I decide this is the right time to make sure I stay in the clear, so I mutter a flying spell, and float up about 20 feet. In rush two little, squicky, rat-like thingies. Squicky, rat-like thingies with nasty, big, pointy teeth. Apparently, they bite, too. But they cant get through the armor on either the Paladin, or the Barbarian.
The barbarian just stands there, paralyzed, and drooling a little. The Paladin holds up her sword, and yells, "Back, you abominations! Back from whatever hell spawned you!" One of the zombies turns tail and shambles away, along with one of the squicky tooth-rats. "Well, that was kind of a let down," she says. The ghasts close in again thaking pot shots at the Paladin and the Barbarian. One of the zombies takes a swing at the Barbarian, then the other one takes a swing in the opposite direction. Long story short, zombie pretzel. Both of 'em end up lying on the ground, wriggling around a bit. I take a shot at one of the ghasts, and miss. "WHA?!?!?" Now I'm mad, so I take another shot. Got 'im! The remaining squicky tooth-rat looks nervous, but chomps on the Barbarian, anyway.
So, the Barbarian just keeps on standing there, sword half-raised in defense. I don't know how he does it, but at least he's not in too much trouble. Yet. The Paladin takes a swing at a ghast, and drops it. The remaining ghasts look at her, then go back to trying to eat the barbarian. They're not doing such a good job. The other one takes a swing at the Paladin, and manages to find a hole in her armor. "OWIE," she cries. The zombies disentangle themselves, and start to get up. ... ... ...Okay, they finally manage to get themselves up off the ground. It must have been the happy thoughts that helped. I draw another pistol and take a shot at the ghast. It hits, but the ghast doesn't seem impressed, and the squicky tooth-rat takes another unsuccessful bite at the Barbarian. How it misses a paralyzed guy with no armor on his legs, I'll never know.
The barbarian finally manages to shake it off, and takes a swing at one of the zombies. This time his pigsticker goes from left collarbone down to the lower right of the ribcage, and a nice V-shaped chunk, which happens to include the zombies brainbox, falls out. The Paladin kills another ghast, and moves in to flank the last zombie. It takes a swing at the barbarian, and manages to scratch him. I quickly reload a pistol, and take another shot at the last ghast. "Crap," I think, this isn't working as well as it did last time. The squicky tooth-rat takes another small chunk out of the Barbarian.
The Barbarian heaves his sword up, and brings it down on the other ghast, to great effect. The ghast drops, split straight down the middle. The Paladin chops at the zombie, and I take a shot at it. It keeps on a-swingin', right at the less-than-healthy-lookin' Barbarian. Matter of fact, he looks like he's running a fever, sweaty, pale. Well, pale for a half-orc, anyway. The tooth-rat misses the Barbarian's unarmored legs again.
The Barbarian is having trouble lifting his sword now, but manages another chop at the zombie. He hits it, a little. The Paladin gets a little more agressive, and runs it through, felling it. With no zombies, left, I reload and shoot the little, squicky tooth-rat right in the cranium.
"Whew," I say as I wipe the sweat off my beautiful, elven brow. "Fix that guy up a little, will ya'?" So the Paladin mumbles some mumbo-jumbo, and the Barbarian starts to look a little better. Then she starts to feel herself up. "Whoah! What the heck are you doing?" I ask. Without replying she does the same to the Barbarian, and his wounds start to close up. "Oh," I mutter, "that." She turns to me, and I'm all like, "I'm not that kind of girl, ok? Just a little touch on the arm or something works, right?" No such luck. She searches me over, with her hands, and finds where I got scraped up in the fight with the zombie horde earlier. There's this inrush of coolness, and the cuts are gone. That's a pretty neat trick she's got there. I need to figure that one out. I'm still feeling magically drained, though. I think I need to rest a little, and I'm not afraid to say so. We head back to the still-standing inn, and turn in for a couple of hours.
We go back to the inn to rest. Wandering around, I find a huge pile of metal in the back. Upon closer inspection, it turns out to be a Myrmidon! I figure I can turn it back on, so I offer to buy the pile of scrap from the innkeeper. I end up paying the last of my crowns for it. Great, now I'm tired and broke. Luckily I paid for my room and meal first. I manage to get it fixed up, and activate its cortex. I can already tell something's not right. The arcanicka starts to glow purple, and a dee0, booming, bass voice thunders out, "NO! Don't leave me here, master!!" I jump back, shocked. 'Jacks don't talk! What the hell have I gotten myself into?
It stands up, and starts to look around. When it spots me, it groans, "Where is the master?"
"Who's master?" I reply carefully.
"You are the master." It states, as if fact.
"Sho'nuff," I tell it.
It pulls a rag out of a small bag, and begins to wipe the grime of years from it's gleaming body. Curiouser, and curiouser. This is obviously not a normal 'jack.
In the morning, the 'jack is standing outside my door, apparently guarding me. Ok. I go downstairs, and the 'jack follows. I'm not even a Warcaster, why is this thing following me?
A quick breakfast, and on to the temple. I'm starting to enjoy this whole 'bodyguard' bit the 'jack is pulling.
We get to the temple, and the place reeks of decay. I'm willing to be there's more zombies in here. I'm also willing to bet that zombies are the least of our concerns here. As usual, the Barbarian pushes himself to the front of the line. The Paladin is close behind him, and the 'jack isn't far behind. Huh.
All of a sudden, a voice screams out from inside the temple, "You can't be here! You'll never take my son!" This doesn't sound good. A wave of dark energy washes over us, but I'm okay, and I think everyone else is, too. Something jumps out of the shadows deeper in the temple, and summons a giant, horned rat! Right in front of the Barbarian! And it bites him! "Talk about your ankle biters," I think to myself. The Barbarian splits it clean in two with that battleglaive he's so fond of. All of a sudden, the 'jack forces its way past the Barbarian and the Paladin, and kind of leans into its walk, giving it more momentum. It slams into the thing from the shadows and sends it flying. The thing bounces off of what looks like a hole in the floor, and falls. Three zombies try to come out from the vestibules, but the 'jack is in the way. I throw a grease spell at the aforementioned voice, in the hopes that I can reach it with some alchemists' fire. The Paladin can't get past the 'jack without stepping into the range of the zombies, so she just stands there. Suddenly, a fog rolls out from deeper in the temple, and we can't see inside anymore. Crap, can't light up the grease if I can't see it.
The Barbarian just swings at one of the zombies and misses. The 'jack slashes at it with its arm-blades, and cuts it, both times. Wait, both times? 'Jacks aren't that fast. I summon a swarm of spiders somewhere in the fog, and hope for the best. The three zombies pound futilely on the 'jack, and the Paladin still can't get at the zombies.
The Barbarian takes another swing at the first zombie, and misses, again. The 'jack swings it's arm-blades again, and dices the zombie nicely. I take a couple of steps towards the entrance, and maintain the swarm, which I can't see. The other two zombies keep pounding away at the 'jack, and the Paladin is still cut off from the battle.
The Barbarian is now cut off from all the action, and the 'jack reaches out and picks up one of the zombies. The other zombie smacks the 'jack again, still to no effect. I maintain the spiders, and the Paladin starts to look impatient.
The Barbarian looks back at us, and shrugs his shoulders, while the 'jack slams the zombie into the other zombie. Hard. The rest of us just stand there and wait. The spiders get to keep swarming, mostly because I still can't see what they're doing in that fog.
The Barbarian starts to look upset, since he's feeling pretty useless right now. The 'jack slams the zombies together again, and they go limp. We decide to head down some stairs that the Paladin spotted in one of the vestibules. The Barbarian insists on searching the (obviously) empty vestibules, so we let him go, while the Paladin and I head downstairs. The 'jack can't fit, and makes its way to the hole in the floor. It starts to rip up floorboards, since it can't fit through the hole, either.
We head down the stairs, and the Barbarian hurries to catch up. I'm first, this time, and the Paladin is behind me. We can hear the sounds of breaking boards coming from above us, and we can see some fog down here, too. I hear the Paladin cry, "OUCH!" from behind me, and all of a sudden, we're tumbling down the stairs. The Barbarian just looks at us, confused, and probably wondering why we're in a heap at the bottom of the steps.
Something comes out of the shadows and bites me, and I start to get nauseous. Something comes out from the other side and takes a swing at the Paladin, and hits her. The Paladin get up, and everything tries to hit her as she does. Most of them do. She lays hands on herself, and looks a little better. The Barbarian comes down to the bottom few steps and takes a swing at the thing that bit me. Two more zombies come out from the shadows, and now we're pretty much surrounded, except for the stairs.
I get a better look at the thing that bit me, and it's pretty disgusting. Rotten flesh, musculature showing through, and an evil glint in its eyes. I get up, drawing my pistol, and try to blast it in the face. It's not as effective as I had hoped it would be. The Paladin takes a swing at the skeleton next to her, and the Barbarian chops at the zombies. There is the sound of boards being ripped up from the floor above us.
I throw a glitterdust spell in the corner, hoping that the voice from upstairs is hiding over there. No such luck. That thing attacks me and misses, the Paladin attacks the skeleton again, and the Barbarian slashes at a zombie with his battleglaive, and the 'jack continues to destroy the floor above us.
I cast haste on the three of us, hoping for the best. That thing bites the crap out of me again. The Paladin swings at the skeleton again, I assume she hits, since I hear the crunching of bone. The Barbarian cries, "OW! Quit it!" and takes another swing at the blasphemous thing in front of me. More ripping of floorboards. rumblerumbleCRASH!! The 'jack falls through the ceiling, and takes out a couple of supports on its way. We can't actually see it, it seems to have come down in the middle of the fog.
That thing bites me again, and things start going dim...

There's a shadowy shape in front of this one, so we reach out to grab it. It pushes us away, can you believe it? There's the sounds of shouting from outside the fog, and we can't see well. We think the Orc is sticking his sword through the stairs, but we doubt it, that would just be silly. The Master is nowhere to be seen, and the Human is engaged with a couple of shadowy shapes.
The shadowy shape in front of this one comes a bit closer, and jumps on us. This one fights it off, cutting it up a bit in the process. This one still can't see the Master. The Orc jumps off the stairs, and lands square on a zombie, we think. This one still can't see well. The Human bends down, and reaches out.
The shadowy shape attacks us again, and we cut it up some more. THERE! The Master gets up, but a little stiffly. Something's wrong with the Master, but this one is stuck, the ceiling is too low. The Orc is engaged with some zombies? The Human smashes a skeleton, and destroys a zombie.
We rip into the shadowy shape, and it seems to be getting weaker. This one thinks we are damaged, but we have that arcanickal stick to repair ourselves with later. The Human moves out of this one's visual range, and we hear the sounds of fighting. There is a bright light, and I think the Master runs away. This one will have to find the Master, later.
The fog lifts, and the Human moves towards us. We attack the now-not-shadowy-shape, and it appears to be damaged. The Orc charges it, and damages it beyond repair. We climb up the hole we made, in search of the Master. The Master must be found...

Maybe it's not really all that funny...oh well...

kestrel404
2010-11-11, 08:52 AM
Last night, I just rolled up a new character (plot happened to the last one). He's a pirate/con-man in the mold of Jack Sparrow with lots of skill points in social skills, and specialties in seduction.

At one point, the GM throws the avatar of the Goddess of Wealth at us. She's mad at us because my old character robbed a tomb. She's not bothering to really attack us, but she's blocking our way and everything else that we've encountered so far has said like one or two lines at us and then attempted to kill us - so the supercharger decides to take matters into his own hands and does a surprise-round attack while she's still talking.

He hits. His lance disappears. She takes no damage.

Then the party's spellcaster attempts to throw a fireball at her. He goes to cast his spell. His spell component pouch disappears, she takes no damage.

I walk up next to her and I try to manage things diplomatically (since she hasn't attacked us yet).

Then the party's warmage goes and throws her own fireball - behind the goddes, so that she's just barely in range. The spell goes off, she finally takes a hit, and ends up being thrown out of the fireball (successful reflex save)...on top of me.

My character is now naked. With a beatiful woman on top of him. My action comes around again (we roll every round for init, so the order changes) and so my choice is obvious. I roll seduction. Natural twenty. "Well, my lady, I don't often meet women who are quite so forward as yourself, but I do like your style. If this is what you really wanted, all you had to do was ask."

That pretty much ended 'hostilities' right there, as all of the PLAYERS were too shocked to act. I am very satisfied with this particular character introduction.

Aerodynamik
2010-11-11, 01:43 PM
[Snipped for length]

...Then the party's warmage goes and throws her own fireball - behind the goddes, so that she's just barely in range. The spell goes off, she finally takes a hit, and ends up being thrown out of the fireball (successful reflex save)...on top of me.

My character is now naked. With a beatiful woman on top of him. My action comes around again (we roll every round for init, so the order changes) and so my choice is obvious. I roll seduction. Natural twenty. "Well, my lady, I don't often meet women who are quite so forward as yourself, but I do like your style. If this is what you really wanted, all you had to do was ask."

That pretty much ended 'hostilities' right there, as all of the PLAYERS were too shocked to act. I am very satisfied with this particular character introduction.

That may well be the funniest thing I've read all day.

Zieu
2010-11-11, 03:42 PM
Last night, I just rolled up a new character (plot happened to the last one). He's a pirate/con-man in the mold of Jack Sparrow with lots of skill points in social skills, and specialties in seduction.

At one point, the GM throws the avatar of the Goddess of Wealth at us. She's mad at us because my old character robbed a tomb. She's not bothering to really attack us, but she's blocking our way and everything else that we've encountered so far has said like one or two lines at us and then attempted to kill us - so the supercharger decides to take matters into his own hands and does a surprise-round attack while she's still talking.

He hits. His lance disappears. She takes no damage.

Then the party's spellcaster attempts to throw a fireball at her. He goes to cast his spell. His spell component pouch disappears, she takes no damage.

I walk up next to her and I try to manage things diplomatically (since she hasn't attacked us yet).

Then the party's warmage goes and throws her own fireball - behind the goddes, so that she's just barely in range. The spell goes off, she finally takes a hit, and ends up being thrown out of the fireball (successful reflex save)...on top of me.

My character is now naked. With a beatiful woman on top of him. My action comes around again (we roll every round for init, so the order changes) and so my choice is obvious. I roll seduction. Natural twenty. "Well, my lady, I don't often meet women who are quite so forward as yourself, but I do like your style. If this is what you really wanted, all you had to do was ask."

That pretty much ended 'hostilities' right there, as all of the PLAYERS were too shocked to act. I am very satisfied with this particular character introduction.

+1 Internet for you.

Morbis Meh
2010-11-11, 04:18 PM
I am afraid that this post pales in comparison to the last but alas:
I am playing a human cleric, who happens to be an Irish redhead who was a former barmaid. Our party is gaining entrance to a city and once we approached the gate we found out that our weapons had to be "peace bound" (except for mine). As we try to enter the city a barbarian runs into the guards and starts to rage when he is asked to hand over his weapon...

Grainne (me): I attempt to use diplomacy to calm him down
DM: Unfortunately he is raging and pays no attention to you
Grainne: I cast create water and say "smarten up ye pissed off bugger"
DM: *Jaw drops as 12 gallons of water is dropped onto the barb*

Needless to say we all began laughing and due to my creative use of a level 0 spell we gain xp for overcoming the encounter :smallbiggrin:

Greenface
2010-11-11, 05:41 PM
During the course of an assault on a city, our party's 5th level barbarian burns down the temple of the god of death. Of course, a high level representative of the god of death stops him and demands that he put out the now raging fire, or be destroyed. Unsure of what to do, the barbarian dropped to his knees and began praying to his deity, the non-existent Thor, who he had made up earlier in the campaign. Percentage dice were rolled: perfect 100. Apparently, the representative of the god of death was unpopular with the "real" gods, who took every opportunity to take a cheap shot at him. Seeing the barbarian's plight, the gods summon up a massive downpour, putting out the fire. The representative of the god of death is so dumbfounded that he lets the confused but grateful barbarian go.

Doomboy911
2010-11-11, 06:23 PM
The time the barbarian broke into the demon war camp by politely knocking on the front gate or when we were in the field of tall grass and climbed on each others shoulder to look for danger. Or when I the level sixteen bard took down a yeth.... demon thing (hard to explain had a snake tail and other animal parts) with a hold monster spell and than wiped out an efreeti with a simple shadow evocation spell (cone of cold can go a long way).

Ertwin
2010-11-11, 07:26 PM
At the start of our most recent campaign, The DM gave each character a starter vingnette in similar fashion to Dragon age Origins.

The Longtooth Shifter, started by being tasked with tracking something in the forrest that had eluded all the other clan hunters. He eventually got caught in a snare trap made by a little girl in a red hood.

Dire Moose
2010-11-11, 10:38 PM
For me, there's always been this guy (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7896235&postcount=7) in my campaign. To make a long story short, he's that kind of guy who loves doing extreme risky things in real life and has carried that part of himself over into the game world. This has resulted in him holding the campaign record for Largest Number of Character Deaths with four at this point. Since his latest character died a few hours ago, I would like to tell you of the many silly things he did prior to his death.

Basically, he was playing a half-elf druid named Tykel with a grizzly bear companion, starting at level 8. Now, as you may guess, Gygaxian killer dungeons and extreme risk takers do not tend to mix well, and the party's venture into the Tomb of Horrors (with my own custom modifications) was no exception.

-He was promptly turned into an aardvark by a polymorph trap along with some of the other party members (thankfully, the wizard did not make good on a previous threat of turning him into an ant or the results would have been...unfortunate.) Later, a subsequent trap caused in to go completely insane and then run into the aardvark room again.

-A Remove Curse later, Tykel the Insane Aardvark was back to normal just in time to make the mistake of walking through a magical misty arch and finding that his entire inventory was gone and he was left to walk the dungeon completely naked. To add insult to injury, another misty arch trip turned him into a woman before having had the chance to put any clothes on.

-He wound up setting a Gelatinous Cube on himself via dumping out a cauldron without examining it carefully and setting a Black Pudding on the party in a similar manner. As well as stealing from a mummy's sarcophagus and setting it on the party. And opening a lamp that was clearly a trap and setting an Efreet on the party.

His eventual death, which came about two weeks after leaving the tomb, was actually pretty tame compared to the previous incidents, being the result of a kobold sorcerer hitting him with Phantasmal Killer.

Greenface
2010-11-12, 11:10 AM
My friend's favorite character he ever played was a monk named Tim the Swift. Tim was never satisfied doing anything the normal way, and insisted that everything have an air of "epic" about it. While fighting a dragon, he teleported into the dragons intestinal tract and beat it to death from the inside out.

Later, the party was fighting a dracolich. Tim had the party cleric fill the chamber with a pool of holy water, damaging the dracolich, so the dracolich transformed into a mouse so that it would take less damage. Tim leapt onto the mouse and promptly snapped it's neck.

Maxios
2010-11-13, 12:55 PM
Just played D&D last night.

Characters
Maxios: A human fighter, the leader of the party
Bax: Another human fighter, who's the main source for comic relief
Croix: A greedy human wizard
Cadderly: A human cleric
Entereri: A human rouge
(Cadderly and Entereri were named after Drrizt characters)

The barkeep told us that two giant spiders were terrorizing passerby in a forest close to the keep we were in.
We find the spiders, and take them down pretty easy. Maxios takes the spider heads with them so that way he has proof.
We get back to the tavern, and tell the barkeep we killed the spiders. He congratulates us. Bax says they also tooks the spider heads, and lifts them up to show to the barkeep.
The barkeep passes out (he has arachnophobia) and the party tries to wake him up. Not the WHOLE party though. Bax decides it'd be a good idea to mount the spider heads on the wall, and promptly does so.
Eventually, the barkeep wakes up, and asks what they did with the spiderheads. Bax shows him he mounted them, and the barkeep passes out again.
Maxios tells Bax to take the spider heads off the wall which he does. Bax then throws them out the window, right next to a group of kids playing a game. The kids run off screaming in terror, and the barkeep thanks us for getting rid of the spider heads.

Shademan
2010-11-13, 05:04 PM
my players set fire to a frickin mountain, woke up the dragons five thousand years early and killed the tavern.