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Dresil
2010-11-15, 03:27 PM
Go easy, its my first time. :)

The Foretold

There are legends about people like him. Whether or not there are one, or a hundred, the gods have blessed that man. They know he can deliver us from evil. Toluf Garmond, Innkeeper on The Foretold.

Background: The Foretold is a warrior not by choice, but by divine intervention. While a paladin dedicates himself to a cause, The Foretold is blessed with powers beyond belief by his/her deity. It is written (somewhere) that The Foretold was born to fulfill a great purpose, to champion the good.

Races: The Foretold can be chosen by any race.

Other Classes: The Foretold gets along well with any martial class, as their combat prowess is always a good icebreaker. Divine casters and bards seem to travel well with them as well.

Role: While not the best fighter, The Foretold can hold his own in combat, and support himself and others with his supernatural abilities. He has some minor magical effects at his disposal as well.

Foretold In the World: If one finds a Foretold in the world, he is adventuring. If he is not, he is in between one quest and the next. When his duties are finished, The Foretold choose to live the quiet life of simplicity when their gods allow them the chance to retire.

Inspiration: I wanted to make a character class based off of The Legend of Zelda, and try to aim for around tier 3.

Alignment: Any.
Hit Die: d8.
Starting Gold: As Ranger.
Starting Age: As Ranger.
Class Skills The Foretold's class skills are: Balance (DEX), Climb (STR), Concentration (CON), Craft (INT), Decipher Script (INT), Jump (STR), Hide (DEX), Knowledge (Arcana) (INT), Knowledge (Religion) (INT), Move Silently (DEX), Listen (WIS), Perform (CHA), Ride (DEX), Spot (WIS), Tumble (DEX), Use Magic Device (Cha)
Skill Points At 1st Level: (4 + Int Modifier) x4
Skill Points per Level: 4 + Int Modifier

{table=head]Level|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Ref Will Saves|Special|Songs Known

1st|
+1|
+2/+2/+0|
Aura of Good, Songs|
2

2nd|
+2|
+3/+3/+0|
Full Power, Practiced|
2

3rd|
+3|
+3/+3/+1|
Quick Draw|
2

4th|
+4|
+4/+4/+1|
Magic Sword, Magic Bow|
3

5th|
+5|
+4/+4/+1|
Champion's Strength|
3

6th|
+6/+1|
+5/+5/+2|
Magic Arrows|
4

7th|
+7/+2|
+5/+5/+2|
It's In My Pocket...|
4

8th|
+8/+3|
+6/+6/+2|
Evil's Bane|
5

9th|
+9/+4|
+6/+6/+3|
Improved Practiced|
5

10th|
+10/+5|
+7/+7/+3|
Thundering Blow|
6

11th|
+11/+6/+1|
+7/+7/+3|
Courage to Fight|
6

12th|
+12/+7/+2|
+8/+8/+4|
Wisdom of Worlds|
7

13th|
+13/+8/+3|
+8/+8/+4|
The Power Within|
7

14th|
+14/+9/+4|
+9/+9/+4|
Fairy In A Bottle|
8

15th|
+15/+10/+5|
+9/+9/+5|
Explosive Arrows|
8

16th|
+16/+11/+6/+1|
+10/+10/+5|
Reflective Shield|
8

17th|
+17/+12/+7/+2|
+10/+10/+5|
My Temple|
8

18th|
+18/+13/+8/+3|
+11/+11/+6|
Improved Magic Arrows|
8

19th|
+19/+14/+9/+4|
+11/+11/+6|
Hurricane Spin|
8

20th|
+20/+15/+10/+5|
+12/+12/+6|
Blessing of the Gods|
8[/table]

Weapon And Armor Proficiencies: The Foretold is light armor and shields (except tower shields), as well as simple weapons, plus the longsword, composite longbow, and warhammer.

Aura of Good: The Foretold radiates an Aura of Good as the Paladin ability of the same name.

Songs:(Su) Starting at 1st level, The Foretold knows a certain amount of songs, which he can use a number of times per day equal to half his class levels plus his Charisma modifier.

Full Power:(Su) At 2nd level, when A Foretold makes an attack with his longsword, if his Hit Points are at maximum (or above), his sword unleashes a blast of energy doing an extra 1d8 damage per every other level (2d8 at 4th, 3d8 at 6th, up to 10d8 at 20th). This has a range of 30 feet + 5 feet per Fortold level, and stacks with any damage his longsword does anyways.

Practiced: The Foretold gains Weapon Focus (Longsword) as a bonus feat.

Quick Draw: At 3rd level, The Foretold gains Quick Draw as a bonus feat.

Magic Sword, Magic Bow:(Su) Starting at 4th level, any sword or composite longbow The Foretold wields gains a +1 enhancement bonus for every four levels (+2 at 8th, +3 at 12th, etc.). This stacks with any enhancement the sword or bow may already have, but this only works for the Foretold.

Champion's Strength:(Ex) The Foretold gains a permanent +1 in Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution.

Magic Arrows:(Su) As a swift action, you may declare any arrow fired from The Foretold's composite longbow to have the Flaming, Frost, or Shock enhancement. This is usable a number of times equal to half The Foretold's class level + Cha modifier + 1 (min 3) per day.

It's In My Pocket...:(Ex) The Foretold may keep 5 lbs./class level of items in his pocket without weighing him down. Retrieving an item uses a swift action.

Evil's Bane:(Su) The Foretold's sword gains the Holy ability. If it already has this, increase the critical threat by 1 and increase all damage dice done by the sword by one step. (This does not affect Full Power's damage output).

Improved Practiced: The Foretold gains the feats Weapon Specialization (Longsword) and Shield Specialization.

Thundering Blow:(Ex) As a full round action, a Foretold may strike the ground with his warhammer and cause the earth to shake. All others within a 15 foot radius must make a Reflex Save (DC 10+1/2 Foretold Level+Str mod) or fall prone and be shaken for 1d2 rounds.

Courage to Fight:(Ex) The Foretold can Inspire Courage as a bard of his level minus three when in melee combat. This works on himself and can be used one hour a day. This may be split up as the player chooses.

Wisdom of Worlds:(Ex) The Foretold gains a permanent +1 in Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma.

The Power Within:(Ex) The Foretold can tap into inner reserves of his strength. Once a day, he may add his class level to one attack roll and damage roll.

Fairy In A Bottle:(Su) Twice a week, if A Foretold is brought down to 0 hp or lower, he is immediately healed to half his max hp.

Explosive Arrows:(Ex) The Foretold can take up to ten flasks of Acid or Alchemist's Fire and create a high concentration capsule to affix to one of his arrows. (Example: An Explosive Arrow that has seven flasks of alchemist's fire and two of acid does +7d6 fire damage, +2d6 acid) This takes five minutes and instills a -1 penalty per three flasks after the first to hit with the arrow (-1 to hit 2-4 flasks, -2 to hit 5-7, -3 to hit 8-10).

Reflective Shield:(Su) Your shield gains the Reflecting special ability.

My Temple:(Sp) You can teleport yourself an one extra Medium sized ally per four levels to a church you declare as your own. Activating this ability takes one minute to teleport to, and requires 24 hours of meditation at the temple prior to using. You may only have one church dedicated as yours at one time. Changing to a new location takes another 24 hours of meditation at the new church's location. This ability may be used once a day.

Improved Magic Arrows:(Su) The Foretold may now designate any enhancement bonuses up to +4 per arrow as a free action, allowing for iterative attacks to be made. (Example: A Foretold may choose to make one arrow Flaming, Shocking, and Holy, and another Flaming Burst, (Human) Bane, and Ghost Touch)

Hurricane Spin:(Ex) Once per day, as a full round action, A Foretold may make a special charge attack. First, he may move up to twice his base land speed, in any direction. This does not have to be in a straight line, like a normal charge. Second, any adjacent target he passes he may make an attack roll at his highest attack bonus against each target next to him. (Compare to a Whirlwind Attack every 5 feet moved.) After the attack is made, the user is dazed for 2 round and cannot move. This Provokes no Attacks of Opportunities.

Blessing of the Gods:(Su) The Foretold has become a true hero, and upon 20th level, he adds his Charisma bonus to his saving throws and AC as an untyped bonus.

Dresil
2010-11-15, 04:48 PM
Songs
Unless otherwise stated, songs take a move action to perform, and last one minute per class level. The Foretold must make a Perform check to properly play each song.

Lullaby - Perform DC: 15- The Foretold can put his Class Level + 3 HD creatures to sleep if they fail a Will Save with the DC as 10+Foretold Class Level+Charisma Modifier

Mount - Perform DC: 15- The Foretold can summon a heavy warhorse for his use for one hour per class level.

Guidance - Perform DC: 20- The Foretold can gain a morale bonus equal to his Perform DC-20 to one skill check, or pass this on to an ally.

Rest- Perform DC: 25- The Foretold gains a vigor as if he rested for 8 solid hours.

Time- Perform DC: 25- The Foretold puts himself and all allies within 30' under a Haste effect.

Healing- Perform DC: 25- The Foretold heals himself of an ally for 1d4 hp per class level.

Forest- Perform DC: 15- The Foretold gains a +1 Natural Armor bonus equal to his Perform DC -15 for every five points above. (+1 at DC 15, +2 at DC 20, for a max of +5 at DC 40).

Fire: Perform DC: 15- The Foretold gains Fire Resistance equal to twice his class level.

Water- Perform DC: 20- While underwater, the Foretold is under the effects of Water Breathing and Freedom of Movement.

Shadow- Perform DC: 25- The Foretold bestows a Greater Invisibility effect on himself or one ally for five rounds.

Spirit- Perform DC: 30- The Foretold gains the special abilities Evasion and Mettle.

Light- Perform DC: 20- The Foretold can destroy undead as a cleric equal to half his Perform check.

The Tygre
2010-11-15, 04:52 PM
Um... 'fortold' is spelled 'foretold'. :smallredface:

Mulletmanalive
2010-11-15, 04:55 PM
I see what you did there.

I don't know how powerful songs will be, buy you need to be able to use your core feature move than Cha mod/day. I suggest adding at least half class level to this.

Whether abilities are Extraordinary, Supernatual or Spell-like can make a big difference to effectiveness and usefulness at high levels. Note this.

On general formating, indicating the level it is gained in the first sentance of a feature description is handy.

at 14th level, Fairy in a Bottle would be in no way overpowered to be 1 or more per day.

Nothing else leaps out at me...

Edit: Dang it, Tygre, you grammar-nazi ninja...:smalltongue:

Dresil
2010-11-15, 05:32 PM
Um... 'fortold' is spelled 'foretold'. :smallredface:

Thanks, fixed. :smallsmile:


I see what you did there.

I don't know how powerful songs will be, buy you need to be able to use your core feature move than Cha mod/day. I suggest adding at least half class level to this.

Whether abilities are Extraordinary, Supernatual or Spell-like can make a big difference to effectiveness and usefulness at high levels. Note this.

On general formating, indicating the level it is gained in the first sentance of a feature description is handy.

at 14th level, Fairy in a Bottle would be in no way overpowered to be 1 or more per day.

Nothing else leaps out at me...

Edit: Dang it, Tygre, you grammar-nazi ninja...:smalltongue:

Added the ability types, and changed Fairy In A Bottle to 2x/week, and changed the songs per day. Thanks!

monkman
2010-11-15, 05:46 PM
Thundering Blow:(Ex) As a full round action, a Foretold may strike the ground with his warhammer and cause the earth to shake. All others within a 15 foot radius must make a Reflex Save (DC 10+1/2 Foretold Level+Str mod) or fall prone and be shaken for 1d2 rounds.
Your focusing with swords and bows, Why exacly do you have this?

Dresil
2010-11-15, 05:49 PM
Your focusing with swords and bows, Why exacly do you have this?

1. Fluff, keep in mind this is trying to emulate link, so the Megaton Hammer should get some attention. Compare to Paladin's special mount. Does it really need it, other than 'Look at my Celestial horse, my Celestial horse is amazing'?
2. AoE ability

The-Mage-King
2010-11-15, 05:57 PM
Pretty nice, but I've a few issues...



Champion's Strength:(Ex) The Foretold gains a permanent +1 to Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution.


Here, you should change the wording to "permanent +1 increase in Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution". It gets the point across, and is slightly less confusing.




Magic Arrows:(Su) As a swift action, you may declare any arrow fired from The Foretold's composite longbow to have the Flaming, Frost, or Shock enhancement. This is usable a number of times equal to half The Foretold's class level + Cha modifier + 1. (min 3.)


THe way this is written, you only get to use it that many times, total. You need to change that.



Courage to Fight:(Ex) The Foretold can Inspire Courage as a bard of his level minus three when in melee combat. This works on himself and can be used one hour a day.


Can this hour be split?




Wisdom of Worlds:(Ex) The Foretold gains a permanent +1 to Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma.


See my note on Champion's Strength.



The Power Within:(Ex) The Foretold can tap into inner reserves of his strength. Once a day, he adds his class level to one attack roll and damage roll.

You need to put "may add" instead of the flat "adds". This implies that it isn't his choice if he add


Explosive Arrows:(Ex) The Foretold can take up to ten flasks of Acid or Alchemist's Fire and create a high concentration capsule to affix to one of his arrows. (Example: An Explosive Arrow that has seven flasks of alchemist's fire and two of acid does +7d6 fire damage, +2d6 acid) This takes five minutes and instills a -1 penalty per three flasks after the first to hit with the arrow (-1 to hit 2-4 flasks, -2 to hit 5-7, -3 to hit 8-10).


Nice. No other comments.


My Temple:(Sp) You can teleport yourself an one extra Medium sized ally per four levels to a church you declare as your own. Activating this ability takes one minute to teleport to, and requires 24 hours of meditation at the temple prior to using.

How many churches can you designate as your own? How often can you use this?


Improved Magic Arrows:(Su) The Foretold may now designate, as a swift action, any enhancement bonuses up to +4 per arrow. This also becomes a free action (allowing for iterative attacks to be made). (Example: A Foretold may choose to make one arrow Flaming, Shocking, and Holy, and another Flaming Burst, (Human) Bane, and Ghost Touch)

You need the Bolded commas in that. Also, wat?

Dresil
2010-11-15, 06:48 PM
You need the Bolded commas in that. Also, wat?

Changes made, I see no bolded commas in original post, weird. Also, Improved Magic Arrows means you can take an ordinary arrow, and enchant it with special abilities.

Example: Link is an 18th level Foretold. While making a full attack with his composite longbow, he designates each arrow as follows: The first arrow becomes a Bane (Human)/Flaming Burst/Ghost Touch Arrow. The second he chooses a Shock/Anarchic/Keen arrow. The third he chooses becomes a Brilliant Energy arrow, and the fourth becomes a Frost/Distance/Disruption arrow. Savvy?

The-Mage-King
2010-11-15, 06:53 PM
Changes made, I see no bolded commas in original post, weird. Also, Improved Magic Arrows means you can take an ordinary arrow, and enchant it with special abilities.

Example: Link is an 18th level Foretold. While making a full attack with his composite longbow, he designates each arrow as follows: The first arrow becomes a Bane (Human)/Flaming Burst/Ghost Touch Arrow. The second he chooses a Shock/Anarchic/Keen arrow. The third he chooses becomes a Brilliant Energy arrow, and the fourth becomes a Frost/Distance/Disruption arrow. Savvy?

I meant the wording was... odd. You can use it as both a swift action any a free action? And the commas were before and after "as a swift action".

Dresil
2010-11-15, 06:57 PM
Ohhh, *facepalm* fixed now. Thank you!

Ralasha
2010-11-15, 07:01 PM
Go easy, its my first time. :)

The Foretold

There are legends about people like him. Whether or not there are one, or a hundred, the gods have blessed that man. They know he can deliver us from evil. Toluf Garmond, Innkeeper on The Foretold.

Fairy In A Bottle:(Su) Twice a week, if A Foretold is brought down to 0 hp or lower, he is immediately healed to half his max hp.
Link! Fill up your hearts so you can shoot, your sword of power, so you'll be brave, and not a sissy coward~

Pyromancer999
2010-11-15, 07:25 PM
Why use songs?

Saveducks
2010-11-15, 07:26 PM
Hey just fluff-wise I think something like ballads or hymms sounds slightly more heroic

Ralasha
2010-11-15, 07:39 PM
The songs represent the ocarina... Has no one noticed he made Link from Legend of Zelda into a base class?

Saveducks
2010-11-15, 07:40 PM
Oh I see it now.:smallsmile:

Ralasha
2010-11-15, 07:43 PM
Indeed... I even used a direct reference to Link from Zelda, and no one noticed.

The only thing missing the the magic Cucco, which will fly him from place to place.

Dresil
2010-11-15, 08:20 PM
Indeed... I even used a direct reference to Link from Zelda, and no one noticed.

The only thing missing the the magic Cucco, which will fly him from place to place.

There is a Commoner prestige class out there that spawns random chickens.

Tanuki Tales
2010-11-15, 08:22 PM
I'm going to agree that FiB should be usable more than twice a week (maybe twice a day). Unless a class feature is horrendously broken then it happening in any measure of time in week(s) makes it pretty weak sauce.

The-Mage-King
2010-11-15, 08:24 PM
Psst. In the Improved Magic Arrows text. You need a slight revision
Look:
The Foretold may now designate as a free action any enhancement bonuses up to +4 per arrow (allowing for iterative attacks to be made).

Now, with adjustment:
The Foretold may now designate any enhancement bonuses up to +4 per arrow as a free action, allowing for iterative attacks to be made.

Ralasha
2010-11-15, 08:28 PM
There is a Commoner prestige class out there that spawns random chickens.

Right, so this is perfect in gestalt, you just need that maxed on one side, being an incarnum elf, obviously. with commoner and said PrC on the other side, so that you can spawn cuccos.

Dresil
2010-11-15, 08:33 PM
I'm going to agree that FiB should be usable more than twice a week (maybe twice a day). Unless a class feature is horrendously broken then it happening in any measure of time in week(s) makes it pretty weak sauce.

A free Contingency effect should be used twice a day?

Ralasha
2010-11-15, 08:36 PM
Cuccos! They're evil!
http://i577.photobucket.com/albums/ss220/linksninja/motivatorc6f4a820996d2d8df7c2d45031.jpg

DracoDei
2010-11-16, 09:01 AM
Is bane a bit overboard? I think that was one of the main problems that people have with the artificer, but I am not sure?

Ralasha
2010-11-16, 10:07 AM
Draco Dei would mean the Dragon God, not dragon of god, nor god of dragons. Thought you might like to know that.

Draco et Dei would be Dragon of God, assuming you are using latin.

et, as with most latin words, has multiple meanings, in this case: of, from and whence.

Tanuki Tales
2010-11-16, 10:43 AM
A free Contingency effect should be used twice a day?

As opposed to only being usable 2 rounds out of ~100,800?

drakir_nosslin
2010-12-01, 07:58 AM
You might want to change the wording in Hurricane Spin, right now it says

First, he may move however he wishes.
As in, the character may move in any direction, as far as he likes, to whatever plane he desires and won't stop until he feels like it.
That's pretty powerful :smallwink:

Lix Lorn
2010-12-01, 08:24 AM
Some of the wording and formatting could use a bit of help... would you mind if I went through it with a fine-tooth comb?

NineThePuma
2010-12-01, 09:05 AM
Song of Rest strikes me as very easy to abuse. =| So does Song of Light. I'll go over this from a different perspective later.

radmelon
2010-12-01, 10:16 AM
For the practice abilities, it should specify that they are bonus feats. Also, the Magic Sword, Magic Bow ability needs clearer wording.


Awesome class though. Kind of reminiscint (sp) of Prime32's Chozo Warrior class.

Dresil
2010-12-01, 11:20 AM
Some of the wording and formatting could use a bit of help... would you mind if I went through it with a fine-tooth comb?

Go ahead. Like I said, this is my first Homebrew.

Lix Lorn
2010-12-01, 12:04 PM
Kay. I'll put in any comments in Bold.


Go easy, its my first time. :)

The Foretold

There are legends about people like him. Whether or not there are one, or a hundred, the gods have blessed them. They know he can deliver us from evil. Toluf Garmond, Innkeeper, on The Foretold.

Background: The Foretold is a warrior not by choice, but by divine intervention. While a paladin dedicates himself to a cause, The Foretold is blessed with powers beyond belief by his/her deity. It is written (somewhere) that The Foretold was born to fulfill a great purpose, to champion the good.
This is just personal opinion, but the (somewhere) feels out of place. Sure it may be accurate, but it detracts from the feel of it. Maybe it's just me.

Races: The Foretold can belong to race.

Other Classes: The Foretold gets along well with any martial class, as their combat prowess is always a good icebreaker. Divine casters and bards also seem to work well with them.

Role: While not the best fighter, The Foretold can hold his own in combat, and support himself and others with his supernatural abilities. He has some minor magical effects at his disposal as well.

Foretold In the World: If one finds a Foretold in the world, he is adventuring. If he is not, he is in between one quest and the next. When his duties are finished, The Foretold choose to live the quiet life of simplicity when their gods allow them the chance to retire.

Inspiration: I wanted to make a character class based off of The Legend of Zelda, and try to aim for around tier 3.

Alignment: Any good. Now, I personally hate alignment prereqs. Maybe there's an evil god around? What about Dark Link?
Hit Die: d8.
Starting Gold: As Ranger.
Starting Age: As Ranger.
Class Skills The Foretold's class skills are: Balance (DEX), Climb (STR), Concentration (CON), Craft (INT), Decipher Script (INT), Jump (STR), Hide (DEX), Knowledge (Arcana) (INT), Knowledge (Religion) (INT), Move Silently (DEX), Listen (WIS), Perform (CHA), Ride (DEX), Spot (WIS), Tumble (DEX), Use Magic Device (Cha)
Skill Points At 1st Level: (4 + Int Modifier) x4
Skill Points per Level: 4 + Int Modifier

{table=head]Level|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Ref Will Saves|Special|Songs Known

1st|
+1|
+2/+2/+0|
Aura of Good, Songs|
2

2nd|
+2|
+3/+3/+0|
Full Power, Practiced|
2

3rd|
+3|
+3/+3/+1|
Quick Draw|
2

4th|
+4|
+4/+4/+1|
Magic Sword, Magic Bow|
3

5th|
+5|
+4/+4/+1|
Champion's Strength|
3

6th|
+6/+1|
+5/+5/+2|
Magic Arrows|
4

7th|
+7/+2|
+5/+5/+2|
It's In My Pocket...|
4

8th|
+8/+3|
+6/+6/+2|
Evil's Bane|
5

9th|
+9/+4|
+6/+6/+3|
Improved Practiced|
5

10th|
+10/+5|
+7/+7/+3|
Thundering Blow|
6

11th|
+11/+6/+1|
+7/+7/+3|
Courage to Fight|
6

12th|
+12/+7/+2|
+8/+8/+4|
Wisdom of Worlds|
7

13th|
+13/+8/+3|
+8/+8/+4|
The Power Within|
7

14th|
+14/+9/+4|
+9/+9/+4|
Fairy In A Bottle|
8

15th|
+15/+10/+5|
+9/+9/+5|
Explosive Arrows|
8

16th|
+16/+11/+6/+1|
+10/+10/+5|
Reflective Shield|
8

17th|
+17/+12/+7/+2|
+10/+10/+5|
My Temple|
8

18th|
+18/+13/+8/+3|
+11/+11/+6|
Improved Magic Arrows|
8

19th|
+19/+14/+9/+4|
+11/+11/+6|
Hurricane Spin|
8

20th|
+20/+15/+10/+5|
+12/+12/+6|
Blessing of the Gods|
8[/table]

Weapon And Armor Proficiencies: The Foretold is proficient with light armor and shields (except tower shields), as well as simple weapons, plus the longsword, composite longbow, and warhammer.

Aura of Good: The Foretold radiates an Aura of Good as the Paladin ability of the same name.

Songs:(Su) Starting at 1st level, The Foretold knows a number of songs given on the above table, which he can use a total number of times per day equal to half his class levels plus his Charisma modifier.

Full Power:(Su) At 2nd level, when A Foretold makes an attack with his longsword, if his Hit Points are at maximum (or above), his sword unleashes a blast of energy doing an extra 1d8 damage per every other level (2d8 at 4th, 3d8 at 6th, up to 10d8 at 20th). This has a range of 30 feet + 5 feet per Fortold level, and stacks with any damage his longsword does anyways.
This seems a little weak. Maybe make it the top 10% of his hp? Or even half hp? Also, I'd suggest changing it to 'slashing weapon.' I know you're trying to make Link, but it'd be nice to have SOME choice.

Skill at Arms: The Foretold gains Weapon Focus (Longsword) as a bonus feat.

Quick Draw: At 3rd level, The Foretold gains Quick Draw as a bonus feat.

Magic Sword, Magic Bow:(Su) Starting at 4th level, any sword or composite longbow The Foretold wields gains a +1 enhancement bonus for each four class levels he possesses. (+2 at 8th, +3 at 12th, etc.). This stacks with any enhancement the sword or bow may already have, but this only works for the Foretold.
Uh. I don't know exactly how overstrong that is, but... it's not done. Maybe you should have it override the normal weapon's abilities, but allow him to add special abilities? Maybe make it +1/2 levels and remove Magic Arrows? I'll put my idea at the end.

Champion's Strength:(Ex) The Foretold gains a +1 inherent bonus to Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution.

Magic Arrows:(Su) As a swift action, you may declare any arrow fired from The Foretold's composite longbow to have the Flaming, Frost, or Shock enhancement. This is usable a number of times equal to half The Foretold's class level + Cha modifier + 1 (min 3) per day.
I'd combine this into Magic Sword. See below.

It's In My Pocket...:(Ex) The Foretold may keep 5 lbs./class level of items in his pocket without weighing him down. Retrieving an item uses a swift action.
Haha. I like it; but a swift action is a problem for spellcasters. Maybe use the bag of holding rule? 'Retrieving a specific item from his pockets is a move action—unless they contain more than ordinary pockets would hold, in which case retrieving a specific item is a full-round action.'

Evil's Bane:(Su) The Foretold's melee weapons gain the Holy ability. If they already has this, increase their critical threat range by 1 and increase their damage dice as if they were one size category larger. (This does not affect Full Power's damage output).
...I don't think Holy is very strong, but the ability you get if you already had Holy IS good.

Improved Skill at Arms: The Foretold gains the feats Weapon Specialization (Longsword) and Shield Specialization.

Thundering Blow:(Ex) As a full round action, a Foretold may strike the ground with his warhammer and cause the earth to shake. All others within a 15 foot radius must make a Reflex Save (DC 10+1/2 Foretold Level+Str mod) or fall prone and be shaken for 1d2 rounds.
Like I said, for a little variety, maybe say 'bludgeoning weapon' instead of warhammer.

Courage to Fight:(Ex) The Foretold can Inspire Courage as a bard of his level minus three when in melee combat. This works on himself and can be used one hour a day. This may be split up as the player chooses.

Wisdom of Worlds:(Ex) The Foretold gains a +1 inherent bonus to Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma.

The Power Within:(Ex) The Foretold can tap into inner reserves of his strength. Once a day, he may add his class level to one attack roll and damage roll.

Fairy In A Bottle:(Su) Twice a week, if A Foretold is brought down to 0 hp or lower, he is immediately healed to half his max hp.
Like others have said, maybe a little more often? Once a day?

Explosive Arrows:(Ex) The Foretold can take up to ten flasks of Acid or Alchemist's Fire and create a high concentration capsule to affix to one of his arrows. (Example: An Explosive Arrow that has seven flasks of alchemist's fire and two of acid does +7d6 fire damage, +2d6 acid) This takes five minutes and instills a -1 penalty per three flasks after the first to hit with the arrow (-1 to hit 2-4 flasks, -2 to hit 5-7, -3 to hit 8-10).

Reflective Shield:(Su) Your shield gains the Reflecting special ability.

My Temple:(Sp) You can teleport yourself an one extra Medium sized ally per four levels to a church you declare as your own. Activating this ability takes one minute to teleport to, and requires 24 hours of meditation at the temple prior to using. You may only have one church dedicated as yours at one time. Changing to a new location takes another 24 hours of meditation at the new church's location. This ability may be used once a day.

Improved Magic Arrows:(Su) The Foretold may now designate any enhancement bonuses up to +4 per arrow as a free action, allowing for iterative attacks to be made. (Example: A Foretold may choose to make one arrow Flaming, Shocking, and Holy, and another Flaming Burst, (Human) Bane, and Ghost Touch)
As I said, I'd combine this with the other magic weapon boosting abilities.

Hurricane Spin:(Ex) Once per day, as a full round action, A Foretold may make a special charge attack. First, he may move up to twice his base land speed, in any direction. This does not have to be in a straight line, like a normal charge. Second, any adjacent target he passes he may make an attack roll at his highest attack bonus against each target next to him. (Compare to a Whirlwind Attack every 5 feet moved.) After the attack is made, the user is dazed for 2 round and cannot move.
Does he provoke AoOs?

Blessing of the Gods:(Su) The Foretold has become a true hero, and upon 20th level, he adds his Charisma bonus to his saving throws and AC as an untyped bonus.
Weapons of Destiny: (Replaces Magic Sword, Magic Bow, as well as Magic Arrows and its upgrade)
Any longsword, composite longbow or warhammer wielded by one of The Foretold gains an effective enhancement bonus equal to half his class level. As long as all weapons have at least a +1 enhancement bonus, any other points may be used to purchase special abilities. The enhancement bonus on any one weapon may not exceed +5 before epic levels.
With a full round action, The Foretold may change the special abilities and enhancement bonuses on his weapons.

Dresil
2010-12-01, 05:44 PM
Thanks for your input. I made a few changes, but the ones I kept the same I like for flavor options. I want to keep this class kind of strong, and am aiming for Tier 3ish