View Full Version : Dying Without The DM's Help

2010-11-16, 05:23 PM
This is a thread devoted to those times when you manage to kill yourself off without the DM having to lift a finger. Bonus points if you do it outside of an encounter. Here's mine:

In the last D&D session my group was in we completely surprised the DM. Our party consists of a human Warlock, a human Spellithief/Rogue, a gnome Barbarian, and myself, a warforged Artificer.

In an earlier session we had all found a set of magic crystals that gave us a handful of spell-like abilities, specifically the ability to cast Cure Minor Wounds. We escaped the dungeon we were in and ended up in a small village.

This session started off with the Warlock, the Rogue, and the gnome trying to rob a weaponsmith. He successfully intimidated them away, at which point the Warlock and the Rogue started fighting each other. (Note: They don't get along well) The fight broke up, and we all had time to mess around the village. The DM was trying to figure out how long we'd be able to survive like that.

Soon enough we're attacking some mines filled with Warforged in adamantium armour and tower shields. The DM had accomplished his goal of making the encounters more difficult (the gnome had been steamrolling everything up to that point) but a quick bit of teamwork and a gratuitous application of Eldritch Blasts took them out.

The gnome runs over a small incline and down the other side, only to be attacked by 5 of these guys. The Warlock and I joined the fight... While the Rogue decides to wander off down a different path. It should be noted he has a habit of wandering into treasure rooms while we're fighting off the guards.

He ends up running into a fire elemental, manages to kill it, finds a wierd crystal, and gets back to the group right after we've dealt with the warforged. We start bickering about how he left us again. I had Detect Magic active at the time and decided to take a look, and found he had more magic items than he should. The argument quickly turns to demanding that he hands over what he found so I can use my shiny new artificer's monocle to identify it. The argument ends when he decides he would rather swallow the mysterious crystal to avoid having to hand it over.

It turns out the crystal was a crystallized fireball spell. The mines were magically charged, automatically empowering everything. Myself and the Warlock both took 6d6 damage, very nearly killing us. (The gnome was safely out of range) So now we have a Rogue at -3 hp and bleeding. I decide we'll teach him a lesson by taking away all his magic equipment before we heal him up. I pick up the crystal that gave us the spell-like abilities. This was a bad idea. The backlash of having two of those crystals at once was more than enough to kill me outright. This left the Warlock (who had voted we just kill off the Rogue) alone with the gnome. The Warlock promptly killed off the Rogue. That was when the session ended.

The DM thought it was hilarious. There he is stepping up the encounters so they pose a threat, we laugh the new ones off, then promptly kill each other anyway.

So Playgrounders, what hilarious deaths have you managed to get yourselves in?

2010-11-16, 07:21 PM
I wasn't the one who died, but this story is too much fun not to share.

Our party had just stepped through a portal to an infinite (or at least obscenely huge) extra-dimensional library at the end of our last session, and were picking up with our first impressions. Row upon row of book cases, and, on the walls are frosted windows to allow in light. The Cavalier decides he wants to look around and see what's going on, so without asking anyone else, he walks over and punches a hole in one of the windows with his big gauntletted fist. Of course, what's outside is vacuum.

He manages to grab hold of the sill and pull himself back in, but the monk isn't so lucky and goes flying out into space, which is where the suffocation rules begin to take effect and he passes out. We realize that we've got no way to save him (nobody in the party can fly, and he can't grab the rope, so we seal off the hole as fast as we can and gtfo, relying on the library's ability to fix itself over time.

The GM hadn't even planned it as an encounter, and had to tone down the rest of the session to account for the fact that we were one short. It was all over in the first 10 minutes of the session.

And now there's a running joke in the campaign that someday (at a higher level) we'll be sailing the astral sea in a Githyanki ship and see a dwarf in tattered robes sailing past.

Otherworld Odd
2010-11-16, 10:45 PM
Does shooting myself in the head with my repeating crossbow because I got bored of my character count?

2010-11-17, 07:09 AM
Well, we had a not excatly dying, but being excluded almost before being included happen in a session not long ago.

The group is standing at the bottom of a hill with trees on one side and bare hill the other, and we just conjured up a demon to ask it a question and sort of pissed it off (for thsoe curious, it was my old character that did that and he was pretty crazy and spontanious, and was convinced the demon was a actually fighting the good cause)

The DM panicks a bit, he has planned to introduce a new character in a bit, but this is turning bad, and the demon is turning us against each other and this is turning into an actual combat encounter, so he introduces the new tank, coming down the hill, and with his backstory, he actually knows one of the players in the group, so he tells that player he sees his old adventuring pal, Bazgrim, coming down the hill towards us.

Great news, we have some help here, except the Cleric clearly sees this going bad, as his hit point is falling very rapidly, and was real low (something the DM didn't account for, I guess) and pulls out his plane shift scroll and command us all to hold on (the player who had turned against us was already holding on to the cleric to hold him away from his beloved (which he thought the demon was)) and plane shifted us out of this mess.

The DM just pauses for a few moments, looking totally lost and the player with the new character is just looking at us with a mad look: His character was 2 rounds away up the hill and we ported away leaving him with a demon.

Think almost a minut of silence went by, before the DM goes on "Martin, just before the plane shift spell triggers, removing you from this reality, you suddenly realise that what looked completely like your old pal, was actually just a kobold in a heavy platemail of the same type as your old pal used to wear"

2010-11-17, 10:27 AM
While I did not die, i came close once (in my one whole year that i have been gaming now).

Combat starts when a yound black dragon descends next to me and makes threatening gestures.

Our barbarian apparently greatly dislikes him and charges... and critically fumbles.
He draws a fumble card: crit-threat on an adjacent character ... my rogue.
He confirms and in one strike sends me from 30 (was under 1 con drain) to -9.

I didn't even do anything.

2010-11-17, 10:36 AM
One of my players had just died in an areal encounter, so the druid decided to bring him back with a reincarnation spell... while still in mid air. He came back as a dryad, fell to his death, then promptly had his tree land on him. The druid made the same mistake 2 more times before landing to attempt the reincarnation spell.

Otherworld Odd
2010-11-17, 07:26 PM
Completely forgot about this one:

I was running a D20 Modern (zombie apocalypse based) game, and one of my players was in close combat with a zombie wielding a katana, when one of my other players decides to make a called shot for the zombie's head (house-ruled, if you hit a zombie with a called shot for head, it dies instantly.) He critically fumbled, and didn't have precise shot... roll to hit his teammate, critical hit and confirmed. He blew his own teammate's head off (this wasn't following the house-rules, he just hit him for that much damage.)

This was the same guy that decided to burn a house down and fell through the crumbling floor into the basement, dying as a result of being locked down there during a fire.