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View Full Version : Worst. Character. Introduction. Ever.



Scarey Nerd
2010-11-20, 11:23 AM
Wow... I just... Wow...

A new player was being introduced as a Spellscale Sorcerer, and was using chickens as target practice to practice using Scorching Ray, and accidentally set light to a tavern in doing so. The Cleric of the party used Hold Person to stop him from running away, then stole his Bag of Holding, emptied it out and took it all, and ran off, leaving him behind.

.........Yeah.

I had to share this experience with you, asking for the worst character introductions you've ever seen.

Ganurath
2010-11-20, 11:25 AM
Eh. Better than being sexual violated by a swarm of Fiendish kittens while being dragged to a portal to one of the Infinite Layers of the Abyss. The cleric was deaf in one ear for the remainder of the campaign.

BobVosh
2010-11-20, 11:34 AM
Better than "you meet in a tavern" or "prisoner you need to rescue" if introduced late. At least its memorable.

John Campbell
2010-11-20, 01:41 PM
The new PC was dominated by the BBEG and sent to steal a personal item from one of us so the BBEG could use it as a focus for scrying on us. Our Druid, who had an insane Spot modifier, spotted the attempt (as planned), but rather than metagaming our way to the conclusion that he was acting against his will, we confronted him like we would any other thief, and in the ensuing scuffle, kind of killed him outright. I maybe critted him a little bit with my greataxe.

And then it's not like we were going to burn diamonds on raising some random guy who tried to steal from us...

hiryuu
2010-11-20, 02:23 PM
The new PC was dominated by the BBEG and sent to steal a personal item from one of us so the BBEG could use it as a focus for scrying on us. Our Druid, who had an insane Spot modifier, spotted the attempt (as planned), but rather than metagaming our way to the conclusion that he was acting against his will, we confronted him like we would any other thief, and in the ensuing scuffle, kind of killed him outright. I maybe critted him a little bit with my greataxe.

And then it's not like we were going to burn diamonds on raising some random guy who tried to steal from us...

Did anyone in the party have a Sense Motive bonus higher than +4?

d13
2010-11-20, 02:36 PM
Did anyone in the party have a Sense Motive bonus higher than +4?

If I caught someone trying to steal something from me or my party, I'd probably not waste time sensing his/her motive...

An Enemy Spy
2010-11-20, 02:43 PM
Wow... I just... Wow...

A new player was being introduced as a Spellscale Sorcerer, and was using chickens as target practice to practice using Scorching Ray, and accidentally set light to a tavern in doing so. The Cleric of the party used Hold Person to stop him from running away, then stole his Bag of Holding, emptied it out and took it all, and ran off, leaving him behind.

.........Yeah.

I had to share this experience with you, asking for the worst character introductions you've ever seen.

I'll tell you the worst character intro ever.
Waking up drunk and high in a bar, hitting on the first woman you see, having all the guys with her try to kill you, running up on a table and pissing on them to give them a nausea penalty, heroically leaping over the table and slipping in your own urine, trying to use the very woman whose honor the men were trying to protect only for them to hack right through her to get to you. While completely unarmed and naked.

blackjack217
2010-11-20, 02:53 PM
DM: So describe your character
New Guy: well he's a drow...
Veteran 1: what weapons does he have.
New Guy: two scimitars

An Enemy Spy
2010-11-20, 03:12 PM
DM: So describe your character
New Guy: well he's a drow...
Veteran 1: what weapons does he have.
New Guy: two scimitars

Just have a purple worm come out of the ground, eat him and go back home.

Calmar
2010-11-20, 03:17 PM
DM: So describe your character
New Guy: well he's a drow...
Veteran 1: what weapons does he have.
New Guy: two scimitars

Uh, that's brutal.

Angry Bob
2010-11-20, 03:20 PM
Started off best, then went to worst. Guy with battle jump, pounce, and five natural attacks jumped off a roof and absolutely murdered a fiendish dinosaur of some sort. Then the trigger-happy DMPC owned him with a fireball, revived him from negatives, and asked for a reason not to kill him immediately. At half health, the ambush by a common enemy immediately after that didn't go well.

John Campbell
2010-11-20, 03:37 PM
Did anyone in the party have a Sense Motive bonus higher than +4?
I don't think so, actually. No one could afford ranks in it, because it was cross-class, they were strapped for skill points, or both. (The druid and my fighter/wizard were the only characters in the party who were getting more than two skill points per level, and neither of us were exactly people persons. If you wanted a Survival, Spot, Spellcraft, Concentration, Knowledge (anything but Nobility), or Craft DC crushed, you could come to us. Sense Motive... not so much.) Best Sense Motive bonuses were probably the cleric and druid, with just their Wisdom bonus, which at that point in the game I don't think would've been higher than +4.

In any case, a Sense Motive check takes longer than the less than two combat rounds that the new PC was in the game.

hiryuu
2010-11-20, 03:46 PM
In any case, a Sense Motive check takes longer than the less than two combat rounds that the new PC was in the game.

That's true. I guess the people I game with are the type to try and discern the motive behind damn near everything.

AstralFire
2010-11-20, 04:16 PM
That's true. I guess the people I game with are the type to try and discern the motive behind damn near everything.

Sounds like me. I even typically take feats based on sense motive.

Dire Moose
2010-11-20, 04:39 PM
My ex-girlfriend, back when we were still together. I was somehow Genre Blind enough to let her play for one session during the campaign. She took her character's "infiltrate the party and subtly sabotage their goals" as "hide in the woods and try to kill the party on sight".

The first session wound up running wildly off the rails as she summoned a Giant Eagle and shot arrows at the party. After taking enought damage and prevented from hitting the party due to the cleric casting interference spells, she was forced to retreat as I had already refused her requests for special favors. Afterward, we broke up (for unrelated reasons) and her character (now an NPC) was killed in the next session. Not by party agreement, mind you, the LE monk killed her in a Coup de Grace to prevent her from telling the rest of the party that they were being misled (which was true).

PrismaticPIA
2010-11-20, 06:13 PM
Our party Assassin was discovered when our Paladin of Bahamut decided to piss in a random prison cell after failing his spot check.

Keld Denar
2010-11-20, 06:26 PM
New Guy: well he's a drow...


Could be worse. Could be an "infusion of Cloud and the player"...

hamishspence
2010-11-20, 06:31 PM
Better than "you meet in a tavern" or "prisoner you need to rescue" if introduced late. At least its memorable.

I've been "prisoner who is rescued" before- when the party was half-way through a dungeon crawl.

The fact that I was a warforged with hidden compartment weapons meant I wasn't too far behind the party.

"Petrified statue who the party cast stone to flesh on" was another.

Not very unusual- but it worked.

The Tygre
2010-11-20, 06:39 PM
Could be worse. Could be an "infusion of Cloud and the player"...

Right. Drow.

TheThan
2010-11-20, 06:41 PM
I'm convinced the absolute best way to introduce a new player to any campaign is to simply drop them out of the sky.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAHHHHHHHHH

SPLAT!

The Glyphstone
2010-11-20, 06:42 PM
Could be worse. Could be an "infusion of Cloud and the player"...


*shudders from repressed memories*

hamishspence
2010-11-20, 06:44 PM
I'm convinced the absolute best way to introduce a new player to any campaign is to simply drop them out of the sky.

We had this happen with an NPC once. Light engulfed the ship (the wizard using Arcana to see how magic the light was, got promptly blinded for a short while) and a glowing figure falls from the sky and lands on the ship.

We ended up escorting them to the nearest authority (Waterdeep) and being told by the Lords to keep very, very quiet about the being.

Evil DM Mark3
2010-11-20, 06:45 PM
Hey at least your DM tried. My first DM just had me there all of a sudden. No intro just "and Father Kergion was there too."

Ryu_Bonkosi
2010-11-20, 06:57 PM
Drow monk that was stealing the same thing we were after and attacks us. Our party of 6 beats her into submission and then decides that she is ok and lets her in the party... I was the only one who voted that we kill them.
Two things happened that day, we got the most useless party member with nothing special to join our group and I learned that the rest of my team was chaotic stupid...

FMArthur
2010-11-20, 07:10 PM
Drow monk that was stealing the same thing we were after and attacks us. Our party of 6 beats her into submission and then decides that she is ok and lets her in the party... I was the only one who voted that we kill them.
Two things happened that day, we got the most useless party member with nothing special to join our group and I learned that the rest of my team was chaotic stupid...

You mean they were interested in keeping the game fun while you were only interested in your character. What a good thing it was that the other players prevented that character introduction from going totally wrong. :smallannoyed:

krossbow
2010-11-20, 07:16 PM
You mean they were interested in keeping the game fun while you were only interested in your character. What a good thing it was that the other players prevented that character introduction from going totally wrong. :smallannoyed:



exactly.

Remember: Acceptable breaks from reality can be the key to enjoying a fun game if its needed. you don't have to be "Uber realistic, no exceptions" about your game all the time after all.

Gensh
2010-11-20, 07:50 PM
During the last game I played in, I was actually invited shortly after the start of the session and had to fill out my character sheet with no preparation. A random encounter in the middle of the city started shortly after I finished, so I decided that my rogue would be a random passerby who decided to fight the...raptors...seriously.

Me: What do I start out with?
DM: Nothing.
Me: Do I at least have a weapon?
DM: No; you're just a random guy in town.
Me: There are clothes hanging up nearby, right?
DM: Yeah. You gonna go shopping or...?
Me: Sneak attack with a coathanger!

I missed and got one-shotted the next round.

Next session, I statted up a warlock beforehand. The party was attempting to escape town on a cruise ship, but didn't have enough tickets for everyone. I hadn't met them yet and was standing a distance away, trying to get on the ship to rob people.

Me: Do I start out with anything this time?
DM: Nope.
Me: Seriously?
DM: No.
Me: (Sarcastically) Not even clothes?
DM: (Serious) Nope; you're butt-naked.
Me: ...I spiderwalk onto the side of the ship and into a window. Hide *rolls*.
DM: You get onto the ship without anyone seeing you. You're in the poorer section right now.
Me: Is there anyone I should notice?
DM: Leonardo Dicaprio wants to draw you.

When the party ended up on the iceberg later, I was apparently still naked, despite having set up a betting pool on the ship with the ranger and the paladin. :smallcool:

Malfunctioned
2010-11-20, 08:01 PM
The game: Traveller.
The location: Imperial Solar Point One (a large space station on par with the Citadel from Mass Effect)
The new PC: Commander Elizabeth 'Red' Warner, a notorious ex-navy captain whom the crew wished to gain the services of.

The scene: A low down scum bar, several heavily muscled, armed and armoured men surrounding Red. The crew recognise her from the database on board their ship. They try to intervene, it turns out the men are her crew. Red gets knocked unconscious with a Stunstick, the PC's grab her and run, knocking out several guards on the way and end up attempting to enter Jump Space (basically FTL travel) whilst still docked onto ISPO. The result, a massive misjump, trillions of credits worth of damage to the station, a large bounty on their heads and a severely pissed-off ex-navy officer thrust into the position of ships captain.

Zeofar
2010-11-20, 08:55 PM
The game: Traveller.
The location: Imperial Solar Point One (a large space station on par with the Citadel from Mass Effect)
The new PC: Commander Elizabeth 'Red' Warner, a notorious ex-navy captain whom the crew wished to gain the services of.

The scene: A low down scum bar, several heavily muscled, armed and armoured men surrounding Red. The crew recognise her from the database on board their ship. They try to intervene, it turns out the men are her crew. Red gets knocked unconscious with a Stunstick, the PC's grab her and run, knocking out several guards on the way and end up attempting to enter Jump Space (basically FTL travel) whilst still docked onto ISPO. The result, a massive misjump, trillions of credits worth of damage to the station, a large bounty on their heads and a severely pissed-off ex-navy officer thrust into the position of ships captain.

That sounds like an awesome character introduction...

Ryu_Bonkosi
2010-11-20, 09:06 PM
You mean they were interested in keeping the game fun while you were only interested in your character. What a good thing it was that the other players prevented that character introduction from going totally wrong. :smallannoyed:

I believe the character introduction went wrong when she attacked us for no adequate reason. We didn't even have a chance to say we were after what she took. I only suggested killing her (in character mind you) because of her character's actions thus far. One does not invite a random stranger open-armed into a traveling group when they try to kill you for no reason.

WarKitty
2010-11-20, 09:13 PM
DM (to my character, who was serving as the party scout): You see a guard beating two slaves up ahead.

Me (to DM): I feel bad for them, but there's a lot of guards in this city and we've already been told they are well trained and not to engage them. I tell the party there's a guard that way and to go in another direction.

DM: :smalleek:

Keld Denar
2010-11-20, 09:55 PM
*shudders from repressed memories*

I figured one of the other old timers would appreciate that. So much love, so little thread. Too bad I don't see Dervag post around here anymore. That dude was awesome.

Cheesy74
2010-11-20, 10:00 PM
My character was a rather evilly-inclined Dervish.

He's been mugging people outside a bar for a while. Our psion walks out. He, by the way, looks like the frailest, nerdiest guy you can possibly think of (brought to our campaign world from New Jersey by a freak portal). My character pounces, demands money. Our psion teleports away, much to my surprise, and runs to get Hank.

I should probably stop here for a bit of explanation. Hank is our barbarian/fighter who is the only survivor from the start of a campaign with a rather deadly DM. He's looted the corpses of so many fallen characters that his strength score is in the mid 30s. He is terrifying in every way and has killed a marilith in one round.

Hank comes out, and picks me up with one hand. My player is, understandably, petrified. He gets dragged into the bar and slammed into a table. Our cleric finally goes "Wait, hold up, he managed to pin down the psion...maybe there's something we could use this guy for."
So my character jumps on this. "Yes, I-I could help you with whatever tasks need done! What sort of stuff do you guys have to do?"
Hank goes "Well, right now some people want me to kill a mugger" and bashes me through the table. A few rounds later I'm dead.

I may have failed to introduce my character, but that was still one memorable encounter.

boomwolf
2010-11-20, 10:03 PM
DM: So describe your character
New Guy: well he's a drow...
Veteran 1: what weapons does he have.
New Guy: two scimitars

I was in the same position of the new guy once, but was wise enough to answer "a rapier" (truth to be told I was actually a battle sorcerer that mainly used arcane strike. I cast my first spell in the middle of the third session, up to that point nobody even figured I'm a spellcaster. then BAM! fireball to the troll's face.)

I did however had the "pleasure" of being introduced to a "new player" who was an assassin tasked to kill us but didn't want to as a party member was his ingame sister (in the same game), but being a trigger-happy battle sorcerer with zero ranks in sense motive and with in-game knowledge of him being hired to kill us (but not the family relation), I kinda one-shoted him before he managed to explain himself, the fool was trying to SNEAK on us and I rolled a 20 on my spot, and I don't metagame.

Yea...but having his ingame sister in the party got me scold and him revived...(at my expense too. well my character WAS trying to whoo the sister so he kina agreed to it...)
Crysis averted. but a fool he remains.

Toliudar
2010-11-20, 10:24 PM
Party is investigating an ancient, and seemingly abandoned, elven tree-city. The new PC is an elven archer, so the DM thought this would be an ideal place for him to also have been exploring, and to meet up with the rest of the group.

The trouble is that the player decides to tell the rest of the group that they have no right to be trespassing on elven land, fires a warning shot and swings down out of a tree at us on a rope.

He was dead before he reached the ground.

Sitzkrieg
2010-11-20, 11:31 PM
One of our players died early on in a session, so the DM let him roll up a new sheet and join up again during the same adventure. The rest of the party continued onward to a torched camp, where we discover an unconscious and tied up prisoner who somehow survived the fire. For some reason I can't entirely remember, the paladin decided to tie him to his horse while we travel, perhaps on account of him clearly being some sort of criminal who must be brought to justice. (Alignments were fuzzy in this game.) We didn't get very far before getting attacked by a sorcerer, and the poor prisoner didn't get to make a Reflex save against the Fireball. Poor guy died twice in a single session and didn't even get to speak as his second character!

Otherworld Odd
2010-11-21, 12:06 AM
My friend dished out gold for a cart, donkey, and messenger to ride into the town and have the messenger announce his presence, then he jumped out of the wagon (a gnome sorcerer) and cast dancing lights as a disco ball above him and then rolled his diplomacy check to see how the crowd reacted...


and critically failed...

Toliudar
2010-11-21, 12:30 AM
My friend dished out gold for a cart, donkey, and messenger to ride into the town and have the messenger announce his presence, then he jumped out of the wagon (a gnome sorcerer) and cast dancing lights as a disco ball above him and then rolled his diplomacy check to see how the crowd reacted...


and critically failed...

See, with or without a success, that sounds pretty awesome.

Solipsism
2010-11-21, 12:34 AM
Highest Casualty Count of an Introduction: 5

2 Party Familiars (Spider and Cat), 1 Wizard PC, 1 Bartender NPC, and 1 Commoner NPC

Needless to say, that wound up to be a dream sequence. Partially because the Wizard didn't feel like rolling a new character when half the character's were yet to be introduced. It lead to the new standing rule of "Pokemon does not leak into D&D."

Lev
2010-11-21, 01:15 AM
Highest Casualty Count of an Introduction: 5

2 Party Familiars (Spider and Cat), 1 Wizard PC, 1 Bartender NPC, and 1 Commoner NPC

Needless to say, that wound up to be a dream sequence. Partially because the Wizard didn't feel like rolling a new character when half the character's were yet to be introduced. It lead to the new standing rule of "Pokemon does not leak into D&D."
I have to agree for the most part, pokemon is actually a fairly evil trend.

You seal the soul of a monster in a soul prism, brainwash it, and only release it to fight for you. That's pretty evil.

Temotei
2010-11-21, 01:33 AM
SPLAT!

>_>...

I totally didn't have my character jump off a cliff to meet the party. Nope. That character didn't fail his checks to reduce falling damage. He also didn't not have a source of feather fall.

<_<

Agrippa
2010-11-21, 01:37 AM
I have to agree for the most part, pokemon is actually a fairly evil trend.

You seal the soul of a monster in a soul prism, brainwash it, and only release it to fight for you. That's pretty evil.

That's only one interpretation. The other one, which I prefer, is that pokemon enjoy fighting. They also respect strength, cunning and winners in general. The wild pokemon you fight aren't typically hostile towards you personally, they just want to test you to see if you can catch them. Give them too much of beating (in other words knock them out) and they won't join you. Fail to catch them and the little beastie decides that you're a loser. Run and they decide that you're too cowardly to fight for. Pokemon in my mind are basically sickeningly cute blood knights with good publicity.

I understand that this has nothing to do with the actual topic but I'll see if there's any thing else in this thread I could comment on.

Pechvarry
2010-11-21, 01:43 AM
I figured one of the other old timers would appreciate that. So much love, so little thread. Too bad I don't see Dervag post around here anymore. That dude was awesome.

And as a newtimer, I'd love a link to whatever I'm missing out on.

Susano-wo
2010-11-21, 01:56 AM
During the last game I played in, I was actually invited shortly after the start of the session and had to fill out my character sheet with no preparation. A random encounter in the middle of the city started shortly after I finished, so I decided that my rogue would be a random passerby who decided to fight the...raptors...seriously.

Me: What do I start out with?
DM: Nothing.
Me: Do I at least have a weapon?
DM: No; you're just a random guy in town.
Me: There are clothes hanging up nearby, right?
DM: Yeah. You gonna go shopping or...?
Me: Sneak attack with a coathanger!

I missed and got one-shotted the next round.

Next session, I statted up a warlock beforehand. The party was attempting to escape town on a cruise ship, but didn't have enough tickets for everyone. I hadn't met them yet and was standing a distance away, trying to get on the ship to rob people.

Me: Do I start out with anything this time?
DM: Nope.
Me: Seriously?
DM: No.
Me: (Sarcastically) Not even clothes?
DM: (Serious) Nope; you're butt-naked.
Me: ...I spiderwalk onto the side of the ship and into a window. Hide *rolls*.
DM: You get onto the ship without anyone seeing you. You're in the poorer section right now.
Me: Is there anyone I should notice?
DM: Leonardo Dicaprio wants to draw you.

When the party ended up on the iceberg later, I was apparently still naked, despite having set up a betting pool on the ship with the ranger and the paladin. :smallcool:

Dubbayah Tee Eff, :smalleek:
Random passerby...means you don't have a weapon. When you are a rogue..meaning you have been trained in this certain set of weapons, and specialize in hitting vital spots. :smallmad:

At least the warlock can still function naked..hell, with beguiling influence, you might be able to turn it to a distinct advantage :P

Psyren
2010-11-21, 02:34 AM
We had this happen with an NPC once. Light engulfed the ship (the wizard using Arcana to see how magic the light was, got promptly blinded for a short while) and a glowing figure falls from the sky and lands on the ship.

We ended up escorting them to the nearest authority (Waterdeep) and being told by the Lords to keep very, very quiet about the being.

I'm going to take a wild stab and say the new guy/girl was a Deva?


Hey at least your DM tried. My first DM just had me there all of a sudden. No intro just "and Father Kergion was there too."

I like this one :smallbiggrin:

Yora
2010-11-21, 02:57 AM
And as a newtimer, I'd love a link to whatever I'm missing out on.
Apparently it's this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63740). (Epic google-fu!)
But just taking a very brief glance at that thread makes my brain hurt. :smallbiggrin:

Tvtyrant
2010-11-21, 03:42 AM
Apparently it's this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63740). (Epic google-fu!)
But just taking a very brief glance at that thread makes my brain hurt. :smallbiggrin:

...I am amazed at his audacity.

Worst character introduction I have seen was a friend of mine who wanted to be a bard after her sorc died, and introduced herself by trying to suggest we give her our equipment. She then got to roll up a ranger.

fireinakasha
2010-11-21, 03:54 AM
One time, my fighter charged too far ahead of the group when we were trying to scour some bandits from a local trade route. She died in the first round of the first combat scene in the game, as did the gnome gunfighter trying to save her.

The remains of the party went back to town, "hired some new help," and we tried again. This time, my sorcerer and the ogre barbarian (ex-gnome gunfighter) died. In the first round of the second combat scene in the game.

Drascin
2010-11-21, 04:33 AM
I'm convinced the absolute best way to introduce a new player to any campaign is to simply drop them out of the sky.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAHHHHHHHHH

SPLAT!

I've actually done that (without the splat, the height was such that he'd survive) in Planescape. Hey, portals can be anywhere in Sigil. Including the sky :smalltongue:.

Scarey Nerd
2010-11-21, 04:36 AM
I'm convinced the absolute best way to introduce a new player to any campaign is to simply drop them out of the sky.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAHHHHHHHHH

SPLAT!

In a different campaign, one of our players started in this way, coming down in an asteroid and smashing into a quarry. However, whilst he was waiting for his introduction to begin, the player was giving the rest of the players financial advice about the payment for joining the party leader, leading to my character having Knowledge (Accounting) on my sheet thanks to the advice :smalltongue:

grimbold
2010-11-21, 04:46 AM
Eh. Better than being sexual violated by a swarm of Fiendish kittens while being dragged to a portal to one of the Infinite Layers of the Abyss. The cleric was deaf in one ear for the remainder of the campaign.

i dont even know what to say...

Makiru
2010-11-21, 06:14 AM
Game: Pirates Vs. Ninjas beta test (link in signature)

My first character, Carl, has been introduced both by being met in a bar and falling from the sky. His shtick is to drink to run fast and barrel into people for massive amounts of damage, so being found in the bar of a casino in his first spotting wasn't such a forced cliche.

Then the casino exploded and he fell into the campaign proper


In the other game, I made an illusionist infiltrator who had been hired to kidnap one of the party members. He'd been posing as an assistant to the Craftsman for months, but nobody had noticed him up to that point since he was always in the back of the Bookmobile. Then somebody else kidnaps my target and I get exposed by arguing with the kidnapper about jumping in on my hit. Some heavy questioning later and I'm forced into service with the party.

By the way, the same guy that made the casino explode is the guy the infiltrator was employed by. Yay, cross-continuity!

Calmar
2010-11-21, 07:21 AM
See, with or without a success, that sounds pretty awesome.

Yeah, I agree.

Maryring
2010-11-21, 07:44 AM
It wasn't a poor introduction. It was in fact rather good, but I once had a mage introduced from being stuck in temporal stasis in a crazy laboratory. She'd been stuck there for centuries, and came out to find her whole world gone. Poor gal.

mint
2010-11-21, 10:32 AM
We have a girl in our group who is really sweet and kind of demure who always gravitates towards playing chaotic evil characters.
We were playing a session where the group was stuck in a sentient house that was trying to kill its creator. After exploring the house, we found some loot, among other things, a necklace of fireballs. Anyway, moving on:
We came to decide that it was a good idea to side with the creator of the house and agreed to destroy the house's central processor for her.

The aforementioned girl is killed by housekeeping in our initial assault.
To reach the processor we two of our players tear up the floor and reveal the room-sized processor full of football sized rubies, gold conduits and assorted arcane junk. They jump down and go to work with disable device while the rest of us hold of the mechanical help.
We are being pushed back and the synthetic intelligence begins to vent ether into its own processor room to knock out the intruders. Our guys manage to get out before they fall unconscious meanwhile we are scrambling for for an out. The help has knives for hands and DR.

I remember that a necklace of fireballs may be detonated all at once when hit by a fire spell and the processor room is full of ether.
I tell the DM and he finds it full of luls and is character appropriate so I give it a go.
My own empowered fireball, the ether and the necklace go boom.
The room is incinerated and the DM, who has been talking to the girl who got her char killed earlier, tells us that we have achieved a "fire singularity", creating the same conditions on our plane, in a localized field, as exist on the elemental plane of fire. Out of the inferno, a girl comes tumbling. She begins to speak to us in spanish and we take her with us as we skedaddle.
This is the players new character.

The reason why this is the worst introduction I have ever seen is because it was really neat but then her character was a complete dud, annoying and boring. It could have been so good :(

AstralFire
2010-11-21, 10:35 AM
There's nothing more awkward than a character who everyone thinks is really amazing in concept, and the player couldn't characterize his or her way into a soggy pair of undies. And then they miss a session and someone else puppets the character and the group agrees that the character is super-duper awesome and we all privately wish the player misses more sessions so that the awesome does not cease.

dobu
2010-11-21, 11:08 AM
my plan to introduce my player's new charakter.

he's some kind of teleportation centric mage, in a world were the astral plane ceases to function. I'll get him in the middle of the party *plopp*, give him 1 minute in real time to explain them that he's followed by an astral dreadnaught and they should absolutely help him. I wonder how this is gonna work out. :-)

Kurald Galain
2010-11-21, 11:24 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAHHHHHHHHH

SPLAT!

I actually did that once, as the character was a gnomish inventor in an experimental flying machine. He fell on, and crushed, that player's previous character that said player wanted to retire. For some reason the group didn't mind traveling with the gnome who killed their former teammate.

hewhosaysfish
2010-11-21, 11:26 AM
Hey at least your DM tried. My first DM just had me there all of a sudden. No intro just "and Father Kergion was there too."

This reminds me of something.
It wasn't how the actual character introduction happened, rather we were just joking about how it could be done...

DM: There's a Stormer in the car along with you. You feel as if you've known him for a long time.
New Player: I wouldn't be in the car; I have my own APC.
DM: There's a Stormer in the car along with you... in an APC. It's a tight squeeze.

Tetsubo 57
2010-11-21, 11:45 AM
If I caught someone trying to steal something from me or my party, I'd probably not waste time sensing his/her motive...

And if they had broken into my residence the player would be rolling up a new character...

Delwugor
2010-11-21, 01:15 PM
DM (to my character, who was serving as the party scout): You see a guard beating two slaves up ahead.

Me (to DM): I feel bad for them, but there's a lot of guards in this city and we've already been told they are well trained and not to engage them. I tell the party there's a guard that way and to go in another direction.

DM: :smalleek:
I jokingly did something like this 2 months ago. A guy who played with us several years ago joined us again and I was very happy about it, good guy good player.

I'm a Monk doing research on a religious McGuffin and his priest character helps me get the information from the Church's library archives. Then his character states:
Friend: I'm really interested in this and would like to accompany you and your friends in retrieving it.
Me: No thanks we are just fine.
Friend: Stunned
Group: Absolute silent shock.
Me: Laughing

I'm really glad he is back with us.

Psyren
2010-11-21, 01:22 PM
I'm a Monk doing research on a religious McGuffin and his priest character helps me get the information from the Church's library archives. Then his character states:
Friend: I'm really interested in this and would like to accompany you and your friends in retrieving it.
Me: No thanks we are just fine.
Friend: Stunned
Group: Absolute silent shock.
Me: Laughing

I'm really glad he is back with us.

Party Leader: "Nah, we're good."
New Player: "Great, so let's- Wait, what?"
Party Wizard: "I cast Teleport"

Frenchy147
2010-11-21, 03:22 PM
In the intro for our campaign, two PCs where trying to break another one out of Jail. The way out was obvious, and there was a common enemy right outside so they would heve to team up. About half an hour later, they ended up one of them was tied up naked in the sewer, one of them was dead, and the last one was just wandering the sewers aimlessly. Ouch.

Swordgleam
2010-11-21, 05:18 PM
My worst is on the party's behalf, not the character's.

The party had been through a lot together, in a pretty weird campaign. We had two dragonborn (in a setting where dragonborn were outcasts), a druid who spent all her time in wolf form, a tiefling sorc/human paladin (two souls trapped in the same body - the sorc had just made a deal with Asmodeus, which is why he was no longer human), and a doppelganger who shifted forms constantly as kind of a nervous habit, and could also turn into a dire rat.

When the new guy - a human bard - first met up with the party in town, it was just the human paladin, the doppelganger pretending to be human, and one of the dragonborn. Two normal guys and one giant lizard; not so bad. So it seemed like a pretty okay idea to join up with them.

Half a day later, he's stuck in the middle of the wilderness with a group of people who all have tails and starting to wonder what in the nine hells he's gotten himself into.

AshDesert
2010-11-21, 06:38 PM
The very start of a FUDGE campaign. The two other characters were one colossally stupid warrior, and a tea mage (cool power source, unfortunately the player stole the character entirely from Titan Maximum) who were conscripted into the central Empire's military. I was a psychotic, bloodthirsty killer wearing a smile that never faded, only got crazier at times. We were on a train, them riding on top of the cargo cars with the rest of the soldiers, me hiding out in the one of the boxes underneath. Suddenly, the tracks are blown up by the rebellion. We are far enough back that we aren't flipped on our side, but all the soldiers on top fall off. Seeing my opportunity, I open the door on the left, jump out of the car with my knives, and slashed the throat of the soldier closest to me. Guess who was closest to me (hint, his character was stolen from Titan Maximum).

Fawsto
2010-11-21, 08:44 PM
We have a player that tends to make introductions hard... for other players.

Our group was in the middle of nowhere, nowhere being a infinite sized magical desert that wanted to kill us in any possible fashion: heat, thirst, hunger, you name it.

Well, we find this oasis which is a safe spot (not so safe, a mind flayer showed after we stayed for the night, but anyways...) and the DM finds the perfect op. to introduce the new character: a half-elf ranger that has been investigating some weird stuff (even weirder than a sentient murderous desert) in the said desert, who had also found the oasis to be a safe place to rest and drink some precious water.

Well, my character goes around looking for a NPC who has just gone missing and our problematic character goes with him wiht no good reason (we believed the guy had gone search for some food, or something like that, so one guy was enough, and given that my character could defend himself very well or simply teleport back to camp and warn about the empeding death of the creature that was stupid enough to face us).

Anyways, the Half-elf Ranger hear us and goes hiding. My character spots her and demands to know who is hiding and why. The Ranger comes out and presents herself. What our problematic Duskblade does? CHAAAAAAAAAAAARGEEEEEEE!

Two trips and a grapple later and we had a (much needed) Ranger in our party.


Now, the out of context part, just to tell how screwed my group is:

By the way. Nowdays this Duskblade is known as the most recent "wielder" of the Hand of Vecna. And he is searching for the eye. Also, we just discovered that every single God has been annihilated by some king of overpowered Ilithid Mother Brain, and that for the past millenia all clerics have been receiving spells from it without we even knowing.

Our conclusion? We are about to face some king of "Ilithidnight" (like in Midnight, but with no Gods, just a friggin mother brain).

Traveler
2010-11-21, 09:41 PM
Just happened a week or two ago.
The bard and cleric are traveling through the city picking up supplies. Suddenly the guards shout "stop, thief!"
The character's turn to look as the "thief" barrels right into the bard, knocking him over. The thief (new PC) is a changling wizard currently appearing as a human female. The changling keeps running with the guards giving chase. The bard gets up and takes off after the "thief". He gains on her, casts sleep (I think) on the thief. Thief fails her save, bard catches up, and the guards slow down to a walk now the thief is down. Then the bard picks up the thief, and keeps running. The cleric who watched all this happen walks away.
Eventually the bard ducks into a shop and the guards go by. The thief wakes up, asks what happens. The bard doesn't answer, but asks her to wait a minute. The bard goes behind a shelf to cast alter self so the guards don't recognize him. The changling does the same thing the moment the bard goes to cast the spell. Neither character knows the other is now different. Both walk out of the shop.
Two real time hours and the bard finally finds the changling and (more or less) blackmails her into the party. It was just painful.

~Nye~
2010-11-21, 11:08 PM
This was a really stupid waste of time of a characte, it pains me to repeat this. The PC wanted me to introduce his character like he was a criminal/roguish type ranger that was set-up by his guild to be in an incident that got him in trouble. Anyway I introduce his character.
"You walk into the marketplace like in many markets in this empire, the criminals are on display as a sober reminder to those who break the law, that their will be consequences... You notice their is one live criminal who is in the stocks, he is trying to wriggle free." (my friend starts describing his character... then breaks off abruptly.)

Him: Wait, did you say I'm in some stocks.
Me: Yeah... why? (expecting he'd like gimped his escape artist or somthing.)
Him: That's a disgrace! I bite off my tongue!
Everyone: Whaa...?

He said for RP reasons, his character would be so ashamed he would have outright killed himself than be put in the stocks... He then rolled a gnome Sorcerer who messed with the party for the rest of the campaign...

Luckily since then, his character ideas have improved... to say the least.

turkishproverb
2010-11-21, 11:38 PM
The GM was trying to introduce my character:
They were in a tavern, I was joining after my old char died horribly

DM: As you look around the bar, you notice a kobold talking to a group of adventurers. They point him towards you
Player 1 (Interrupting): I fire a bolt at him from my crossbow
*rolls*
Nat 20.
Player 2 (Rolling with it): I cast Fireball
Me: I...
DM: Don't bother. You're Kobold's dead.

TurtleKing
2010-11-22, 02:04 AM
This may be a little long so I will try to keep it short since I have multiple instances of this. The first four? are because of one character. The last one is my baby black dragon. (info in that thread-link pending)

My first character with this group was introduced by being flown down on a Pegasus with a Valkyr as the rider and I am a passenger. I drink an elixir to give up my divinty in order to persue a quest given to me by Frigga. I am now puking up my divinty when the village hero comes up to me with his sword pointed at me. My character ends up helping out the village hero for all of a few weeks before dying again. The first time was a nulled due to the God of Death wanting the chance to kill a deity. So the second time I am to die he ascends me back to my deityhood before taking my head. That earns my character a visit to the Plane of Failure. (first one)

My character now gets the worst beating to date of his 6000 plus years existance before he is stuffed into a new body. This body looks like a stitched up penguin with little bat wings. The body also has pegs for both of the legs, and a squarish pack on his front. I wait till it is my time for my hearing. When I go in the events of my past life are brought to light by the party members. I recieve the verdict by five larger greenish versions of what I now am who are on the Council. The head god of this plane now walks up to my character. He looks kind of like me, but only golden and larger than the members of the Council. He smiles at me right before he punts me through every plane there is before I end up back on the Prime Material plane. As I am traveling through the planes I am saying, "Death was merely a setback dood". I crash not to far from the village creating a huge crater at the tell end of what I am saying. (2nd time/ reintroduction)

Later on in the campaign the party is now in a different time and world. We have just started to cross a desert to reach the mission given to us by Death. My character ends up pissing off another deity where I am promptly met with a lightning bolt. This bolt lasted for two days and nights straight! The blast was powerful enough to melt the Adamatine ceiling to a secret laboratory in the desert. My character after this gets up and says, " Is that all you've got?". A swirling black pool opens up and swallows me sending me to the Abyss. (this sets up for a new character to be introduced that was in the lab)

After some time the new character had tried to make a deal with some of the deities of my race. This is basically a very bad idea, and she was informed of how idiotic that was. She was told about that race who embodies failure, and how they had been traveling with one of them for some time. After a crashed landing of their ship, and some skirmishes a portal opens up. Out comes a Purple Wurm being lead by a Gnoll Ranger wielding a powerful magic weapon and five ogres. Riding on top of the Purple Wurm in charge of this group is a member of the race she was told about that are the embodiement of failure. I once again make my dramatic reentrance to the party from atop the Purple Wurm. (3rd time/ 2nd reintroduction)

Later on in the same campaign after traveling back to the the original plane and time. I meet up with my master and cater to his tastes. This involves a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster that just so happens to have some dwarven ale in it. In this world dwarven ale is extremely explosive. My master wanted my to light his drink on fire for some reason. Yes the resulting explosion was not only huge but also nuclear. My character ends up falling a hundred miles away right in front of a Dwarf riding his Rhino. He manages to attach me to his saddle after a good half hour of his Rhino trying to pulverize me. After several days of travel we end up at the gate to a city for inspection. The dwarf has not yet heard me speak when we meet a member from the village where we exchange words. The resulting chaos from a talking animal continues until we try to use a cover story of magic (low magic world). (4th introduction)

As you can probably tell I am talking about the prinny. He is now a Demigod with a former layer of the Abyss now a layer of Celestia as one of his areas, while the rest of the pantheon are still Hero Deities.

Not sure if this counts as the worst....or the best.

Otherworld Odd
2010-11-22, 02:30 AM
See, with or without a success, that sounds pretty awesome.

Lol, I gave him pity and instead of having the whole crowd just turn around and walk away I had one commoner in the back go "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Shademan
2010-11-22, 03:05 AM
The GM was trying to introduce my character:
They were in a tavern, I was joining after my old char died horribly

DM: As you look around the bar, you notice a kobold talking to a group of adventurers. They point him towards you
Player 1 (Interrupting): I fire a bolt at him from my crossbow
*rolls*
Nat 20.
Player 2 (Rolling with it): I cast Fireball
Me: I...
DM: Don't bother. You're Kobold's dead.

so they just murder people who are having civil conversation with other people? based, offcourse, on the fact that said person has scales?

turkishproverb
2010-11-22, 03:09 AM
so they just murder people who are having civil conversation with other people? based, offcourse, on the fact that said person has scales?

Evidently. :smallannoyed:

Psyx
2010-11-22, 06:23 AM
There was a time we met a big, burly orc trapped in a pool of water at the base of a cliff. He had one eye and an axe.

There were two high elves in the party, all for raining arrows down on him until he sunk.

panaikhan
2010-11-22, 08:25 AM
My last character's introduction wasn't exactly sparkling.

The party were in an ex-Drow city, working for some lich or other. They got their asses handed to them in one encounter (killing my druid and one of the fighters). Since money was scarce, they Raised the fighter and I stated I would introduce a new character to replace the Druid.

The Lich basically said "Right. Get back in there and do the job properly this time - and i'm sending this Drow Cleric with you to try and stop you all getting killed ... again."

Tetsubo 57
2010-11-22, 08:30 AM
My last character's introduction wasn't exactly sparkling.

The party were in an ex-Drow city, working for some lich or other. They got their asses handed to them in one encounter (killing my druid and one of the fighters). Since money was scarce, they Raised the fighter and I stated I would introduce a new character to replace the Druid.

The Lich basically said "Right. Get back in there and do the job properly this time - and i'm sending this Drow Cleric with you to try and stop you all getting killed ... again."

What lich isn't going to jump at the chance to raise a DRUID from the dead? Despoiling their connection to the natural world... Man, what a lost opportunity.

panaikhan
2010-11-22, 08:33 AM
The DM never said what the lich did with the Druid's body, and I never asked. Blood Water under the bridge...