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Princess
2010-11-28, 08:16 PM
At the cutting edge of deity development, a critique (particularly where something might be missing) would be appreciated:
(All made up words that aren't the names of gods are fictional countries or languages)

Common deities of Veraka, based upon most common name (usually in languages of Carnsvaak or Carasava, unless otherwise noted).

Goodly Deities

Fei Huan (Shuiwen) – Goddess of Peace. As should be expected, clerics of Fei Huan are usually strict pacifists. Some sects believe, however, that peace must be ultimately maintained by whatever means necessary, including brief periods of conflict. LG

Marad – God of Valor. Patron of Paladins. Conflict is inevitable, but chaos is not. Uphold virtue at all costs, never resorting to the methods and ways of barbarism. Fight fearlessly to uphold justice and truth. LG

Grelashak – They of Life. God-goddess of life and fertility. Created the first life on Veraka. Worship includes many annual ceremonies surrounding growth and birth. Clergy tend toward strict pacifism, and are famous for being skilled midwives and healers. Many followers adhere to vegetarian diets. NG

Tilana – Goddess of Joy. Revel in the moment, living every day as a celebration. Find truth in beauty and pleasure, never losing touch with one’s truest desires. Worship ranges the gambit from full hedonism to a quiet contemplation of joyous times. NG

Tashatha – Lady of water. Goddess of water and the sea. Regarded as a healer and nurturer. NG

Delin – God of Love. All that matters is love. Love deeply, but do not allow yourself to be trapped in but one love. Through love, anything is possible. CG

Buenashé – Goddess of agriculture. Worshipped at planting and harvest festivals. Clergy serve as communal coordinators, preaching need for varied crops and cooperative farming. Dogma of communal ownership of land disfavored by much of the nobility, to the extent that persecution and forbiddance of worship are becoming increasingly common as worship of Marashinari increases. CG

Neutral Deities

Garsï – That of Passing, genderless deity of death and decay. Fatalistic dogma surrounds inevitability of loss. Clergy focus on burial and preach strict morals surrounding life in preparation for death. Self harm common in religious practices. LN

Colodel – King of Kings. God of royalty and the divine right of the aristocracy. Sets order out of chaos. Vehemently opposes such deities as Buenashé and Ogbagog. LN

She who disapproves. Myungmi (Dumokese), Goddess of shame and duty. Reputed to never be satisfied, pressuring always for more work to be done. The world is a place of endless toil, and all things must be maintained. Shun the lax and lazy. LN

The Maker – God of artifice and the Forge. Along with Marad and Colodel, is a principle deity of dwarves. The common expression “The maker, the merchant, the moon” refers to the idea that the exchange of goods at market has a corrupting influence, thus endorsing the notion that everyone should seek to create with their own hands. The Eternal Hammerer is also seen as a deity of constancy. LN

Handakilda – Goddess of the earth, caverns, and gems. Respect the earth and plunge it's depths. Ally of the Maker. LN

Marashinari (Shodi) – The Merchant, goddess of wealth, knowledge, and trade. Supports the free flow of trade and wealth, and prospering through taking advantage of such. Commonly worshipped by merchants, and increasingly by the nobility, in many areas touching the Everflowing Sea. Knowledge, as any commodity, should be bought and sold. TN

Kwowk – Goddess of balance and patron of druids. Faith focuses on harmonious aspects of nature and the maintenance of centrist attitudes towards life and living. TN

The Moon – Goddess of change and trickery. Followers are encouraged to be ever-adaptive and embrace that which is instinctual and pure within them. Playful tricks and games are also encouraged. aConsidered a deity of thieves and performers. CN

Alahas – God of the air and sky, he is also known as a god of fate and destiny. Apolitical, the clergy praises a free-spirited lifestyle not weighed down by material or political burdens. CN

Kendok – He of Battle. Lord of War and patron of soldiers. Favors brave, sometimes reckless behavior in the name of glorious combat. Clergy preaches the gloriousness and necessity of war. CN

Pewsplekh (goblin), Bringer of Spoiled Meats and Master of Molds. – As goblins are famous for their undiscriminating tastes, Pewsplekh is held in high regard. Able to happily subsist on foods other races find intolerably foul, spoilage is seen as a blessing which causes friend and foe alike to discard perfectly good food. Serving as the equivalent of a deity of agriculture, Pewsplekh’s faith is widespread amongst goblins and their ilk. Any food is good food, and the ravenous shall prosper from all things. Also regarded as the patron of scavengers. The primary holiday of the faith is the late fall (Nov. 23) Feast of the Festering. Faith credited with “taming” goblin kind. He enjoys green eggs and ham. He would eat them on a tram. CN

Evil Deities

Ba’antosh – The Lord of Tyranny. Only through order can power be achieved. Through cooperation, the weak and disorganized can be brought under the will of the great. Many slaving rings are run by priests of Ba’antosh. LE

The Tempest – Karadnur, god of storms. Only through raw power can life be mastered. Live as the storm, striking out without warning. Fear and obey the Storm Lord, but yield to no other master. LE

The Pure One – Baratunoch, god of cleansing. Seeks to cleanse the world of joy, love, prosperity, and life. Various believers are convinced that their own group (be it racial, national, et c.) is the one pure successor to power in the world. God of undeath and the undead. NE

Karanakh – Lord of the flame and god of fire and pillage. Worship most common among raiders and destructive mages. NE

Ogbagog (ogrish) – Master of Chaos and Mayhem, this bloated and twisted god is the lord of destruction. Worship is most common among ogres, trolls, and other giants, as well as orcs. Increasingly popular among raiders and pirates, and all others who belief that might makes right. Universally banned by civilized nations. Clergy oversees ritual devouring of foes in giant tribes. CE

Salodoc – Lord of Murder. Patron of assassins and brigands, teaches followers to take their desires through carefully planned heinous acts. Clergy famed for kidnapping children of prominent families to offer in bloody sacrifice to their murderous god. Worship banned almost universally, but persists as underground faith among many criminals. Mayhem and scandal surrounds many cults, much to the disappointment of the Bloody Lord. CE

The gods and goddesses of Veraka may be appealed to with prayer. A cleric, druid, or paladin may make a wisdom check against DC 10 for information, DC 15 for minor intervention, DC 20 for more significant aid, or DC 30 for world altering events.


Avatars of the Twenty Four Gods have been known to appear frequently, personally preaching their respective dogmas.

On the preference of the races:

Dwarves most commonly worship Handakilda, but Marad, Colodel, and the Maker, known as the Triad, are also worshipped.

Elves do not commonly worship any deity, themselves being immortal, but most respect Grelashak and other goodly deities.

Gnomes commonly worship a range of deities comparable to humans, but Marashinari is most popular.

Halflings almost exclusively worship Tilana or the Moon.

EDIT: Updated.

gkathellar
2010-11-28, 08:28 PM
Can you please space these out a little? Wall o' text is kind of irritating to read.

Princess
2010-11-28, 08:40 PM
Spacing is complete. :smallbiggrin:

gkathellar
2010-11-28, 09:14 PM
This is going to be kind of rambling and stream of consciousness, so bear with me. If I don't mention something, it's because I have no specific comments. Also I may make complaints about accents and apostrophes in names.

Deitites:

Fei Huan and Grelashak seem redundant. It's … odd that the Lawful Good one would be the more compromising of the pair.

Tashatha is a noticeable departure from the common "evil sea deity" theme. Was that intentional?

Accent marks in Buenashe and Garsi need to be killed with fire. The only reasons to ever use those are (a) to accurately represent the pronunciation of foreign languages that do not transliterate well into English, and (b) to set off my pet peeves.

I don't know anything about Myungmi from your description. What work does she want done?

The Maker - I don't understand how that expression says anything since Marashinari is the goddess of trade, not the Moon. Is it something that makes sense in the context of the setting? (Do merchants buy goods, and sell them to evil moonmen?)

Tell me something about Handakilda and Alahas. What are their respective doctrines? Where does they stand on the Maker's economic policy? Would either of them like green eggs and ham?

Pewsplekh is awesome.

Salodoc sounds more chaotic evil than lawful evil. I see you have the word "planned" in there, but beyond that I don't see anything even vaguely lawful about him.

Ba'antosh has an unnecessary apostrophe in his name.

The Pure One's concept is clever.

The Tempest doesn't seem chaotic evil. Neutral evil or even lawful evil by the sound of it.

Prayer Mechanic: Those DCs are absurdly easy to hit considering what you can do with a success. All of those things are usually the province of spellcasting, which all of the classes you're allowing to do this have access to, so why does this mechanic exist?

Princess
2010-11-28, 09:46 PM
In order:

As far as Fei Huan and Grelashak go, I think you are right, it is odd, and I hadn't thought of it that way. I was trying to establish one as more of a nature god than the other.

Yes, very. I wanted to break the mold and portray the sea as good, counter balanced by an evil storm god, rather than lumping them into a single deity like a lot of things like to do.

I was trying to make it clear that those vowels are pronounced as E and I respectively.

Myungmi is supposed to be a god of drudgery and toil. I'll make that more clear.

"The merchant" = Marashinari

I'll expand the descriptions of those two.

Yes, Pewsplekh is awesome. He is based on a comment my dad made about not having a god of spoiled lunch meat. Plus, he's an excuse to make goblins more dynamic.

Alignment ideas noted. I'll change those two.

It's supposed to be a glottal stop (Bah-Ahn-Tosh)

Thanks. He's based on Nazis.

The prayer mechanic seemed cool at the time, but I guess your right that it is unnecessary and overpowered. Consider it scrubbed.