[Spoilers] Is Haley really the ...

[Zerter]

Yeah, so I just read Start of Darkness. Could Haley be the daughter of right-eye? I'm not really interested in a debate, I just wanted to make this post so I can bump the thread in case I'm proved correct.

[Morquard]

What did you smoke?

[olthar]

What did you smoke?

whatever it is I want some.

[silversaraph]

...What is WRONG with you?


Even a person like me who reads crackfic is absolutely... Actually, the previous post has a good description of that. Um.

o...kay...

[Cybertoy00]

...That's not out from left field, that's from outta the stadium! On what basis, besides whimsical imagination and madness-induced boredom could create a theory like THAT?

[Traker]

I'm sorry but That would mean haley is a goblin.

[RebelRogue]

I'm sorry but That woulg mean haley is a goblin.
Not necessarily! She could be a half-goblin!

[MarkusWolfe]

You best be meaning the old guy in the arena with Belkar and Roy right now.

[Orzel]

It all makes sense

Right-Eye clones himself, killed the clone, reincarnated as a human, got gender switched into a woman, and had Haley with Ian, then was dispelled.

Wait, that doesn't make sense.

[fimzo]

Which comic numbers include such possibilities? I want to see how you arrived at such a theory. Also, in the recent strips are some things making such an idea nearly impossible.

[Goosefarble]

Forgive the noob who has spent no money on this comic and hence has not read Start of Darkness, but WHAT. I was under the impression Right-Eye was a goblin. Like... Redcloak's brother. So... the question here is... what led you to that conclusion?

[TreesOfDeath]

Ok people, you can stop now. I think he gets it


http://www.clanram.com/forums/attachments/f11/1228-rams-chargers-game-aired-la-beat_dead_horse.jpg

[Rad]

That was not the kindest of posts.

It's not a great theory, mostly because RE's daughter is a goblin and Haley is not.
Ok, you could have her having been target of a Polymorph Any Object spell, but still no.

Ah, and I guess the OP didn't read the forum rules either. Bumping in itself is not permitted and on top of that by the time Haley's secret will be unveiled this thread will probably have fallen back so that any reply will be thread necromancy.

[Dr.Epic]

Haley is not a goblin nor does she look like a golbin, and we know Haley's father and it's not Right Eye.

[Porthos]

Sadly, this isn't the first time this idea has come up on this forum. :smallwink:

[Pyron]

Haley can't be Right Eye's daughter. She just can't.
Xykon is Right Eye's daughter.

[Dr.Epic]

Haley can't be Right Eye's daughter. She just can't.
Xykon is Right Eye's daughter.

(in the voice of James Earl Jones) Search your feelings. You know this to be true.

[iowaforever]

(in the voice of James Earl Jones) Search your feelings. You know this to be true.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

but serously, in SoD Right Eye's daughter is too young to be Haley since in order for this to work Haley would have to be fourteen or something

[The Pilgrim]

This is NOT the worst Epileptic Tree I have read in this Forum.

You know, it *only* involves that Haley got polymorphed as a baby and Ian is just her adoptive father. At least, this doesn't breaks Basic Game Mechanics or Word of Author like most Epileptic Trees out there.

That doesn't means the theory is not epically insane. But give the guy some breath, people.

[Nevereatcars]

IAN could've been polymorphed. Where does it say that Right-Eye is dead?

[Magdela]

I do believed we may have been trolled, or he was in some sort of rush and forgot to put his thoughts down.

[Raging Gene Ray]

But give the guy some breath, people.

Oh no. He is going to sit there and listen to all the silly things that are more believable than his idea.

Mr. Zerter, I would sooner believe that Xykon will be defeated by Giant Space Hamsters from Spelljammer flying out of the rift than accept your theory.

I would sooner believe that The Snarl is really the god of Good-aligned abberations and all the killings were accidents (ya know, like Lenny and the mice) that it hasn't forgiven itself for than accept your theory.

I would sooner acknowledge my own shortcomings than accept your theory.

Wait...scratch that last one.

[Rob Roy]

Yeah, so I just read Start of Darkness. Could Haley be the daughter of right-eye? I'm not really interested in a debate, I just wanted to make this post so I can bump the thread in case I'm proved correct.
Short answer: This breaks the bounds of logic.
Long answer: I would rather believe that Xykon is the love-child of the Lady of Pain and Vecna than this. Haley looks nothing like a goblin at all. I doesn't make sense for her to be half goblin. It violates Occam's Razor. I mean really... *that sound you just heard was my brain exploding*

[zyborg]

Short answer: This breaks the bounds of logic.
Long answer: I would rather believe that Xykon is the love-child of the Lady of Pain and Vecna than this. Haley looks nothing like a goblin at all. I doesn't make sense for her to be half goblin. It violates Occam's Razor. I mean really... *that sound you just heard was my brain exploding*

Wow, your brain exploded from the awesomeness of Haley's Goblin heritage? Well, that's stupid. It is obvious that she is... I mean they... well, Haley is a humanoid, just like most goblins. Oh, and both goblins and Haley eat stuff. But Haley isn't Right-eye's daughter, she's Redcloak's daughter! Dun dun dun...

[Rob Roy]

Wow, your brain exploded from the awesomeness of Haley's Goblin heritage? Well, that's stupid. It is obvious that she is... I mean they... well, Haley is a humanoid, just like most goblins. Oh, and both goblins and Haley eat stuff. But Haley isn't Right-eye's daughter, she's Redcloak's daughter! Dun dun dun...
Such a shame Crack Pairings was locked. I can see this being in there somehow.

[HalfTangible]

I wonder if Right Eye named his daughter Chekov...

Thoughts?

[Rob Roy]

Only if he gave her a gun.

[MarkusWolfe]

Short answer: This breaks the bounds of logic.
Long answer: I would rather believe that Xykon is the love-child of the Lady of Pain and Vecna than this. Haley looks nothing like a goblin at all. I doesn't make sense for her to be half goblin. It violates Occam's Razor. I mean really... *that sound you just heard was my brain exploding*

Xykon being the offpsring of the Lady of Pain and Vecna, eh? Excuse me while I go start another thread....

[factotum]

IAN could've been polymorphed. Where does it say that Right-Eye is dead?


Er, he died at the end of Start of Darkness and was raised as a zombie by Redcloak, so unless you're suggesting that somebody disguised himself as Right-Eye and was convincing enough to fool his own brother, I think we can safely assume the guy's dead.


Bizarrely enough, apart from Haley being totally the wrong age to be Right-Eye's daughter, I could actually believe this theory--it would certainly explain why we've never seen Haley's mother in the on-line comic!

[Orzel]

I told y'all already.
Clones.
Righty Eye, Haley's Mom, Thog, the Chief, and Mr Scuffy are are all the same person.

[Morph Bark]

It all makes sense

Right-Eye clones himself, killed the clone, reincarnated as a human, got gender switched into a woman, and had Haley with Ian, then was dispelled.

Wait, that doesn't make sense.

/cribs idea for campaign :smalltongue:

[The Pilgrim]

Remember that Haley has proven to know how a goblin teenager thinks (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0093.html), and how to seduce a Goblin (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0100.html).

Dun Dun Duuun... :smallbiggrin:

[Raging Gene Ray]

I told y'all already.
Clones.
Righty Eye, Haley's Mom, Thog, the Chief, and Mr Scuffy are are all the same person.

Everyone in the world's a clone. A polymorphed clone of one of the gods.

[TreesOfDeath]

God dammit people, this is one of his first posts, its a little bit silly and you drag this thread out taking the piss out of him? Way to encourage a new poster

[Rob Roy]

God dammit people, this is one of his first posts, its a little bit silly and you drag this thread out taking the piss out of him? Way to encourage a new poster
He's been posting since '09. He's not new, just a lurker.

[Tira-chan]

IAN could've been polymorphed. Where does it say that Right-Eye is dead?

Please, please tell me this is sarcasm. Or you haven't read Start of Darkness.
_______________

In reference to the rest of the topic, I can assure you that you are clearly wrong. It is a well-known fact that Belkar is Right-Eye's daughter.

[Orzel]

Please, please tell me this is sarcasm. Or you haven't read Start of Darkness.
_______________

In reference to the rest of the topic, I can assure you that you are clearly wrong. It is a well-known fact that Belkar is Right-Eye's daughter.

No
Belkar is Right-Eye's eldest triplet.

[AtopTheMountain]

No no no no no. You're ALL wrong.

Haley is OBVIOUSLY the Half-Celestial love-child of Right-Eye and Girard, who was a female before he and his sister Ianna were caught in a horrible time-traveling accident, causing them to swap bodies with some random bystanders. They used to be in the bodies of the girl in panel 7 of this strip (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0683.html) and Miko. :smallbiggrin:


No
Belkar is Right-Eye's eldest triplet.

No.
Right-Eye is Belkar's eldest triplet. Yes, this makes Belkar Haley's grandfather.

[Rob Roy]

No no no no no. You're ALL wrong.

Haley is OBVIOUSLY the Half-Celestial love-child of Right-Eye and Girard, who was a female before he and his sister Ianna were caught in a horrible time-traveling accident, causing them to swap bodies with some random bystanders. They used to be in the bodies of the girl in panel 7 of this strip (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0683.html) and Miko. :smallbiggrin:
Hmm, while that does make sense :smallamused:, I still think Xykon being the love-child of the LoP and Vecna has something to do with Haleys parentage. Maybe Right-Eye got gender swapped and had relations with Xykon?:smallyuk:

[AtopTheMountain]

Hmm, while that does make sense :smallamused:, I still think Xykon being the love-child of the LoP and Vecna has something to do with Haleys parentage. Maybe Right-Eye got gender swapped and had relations with Xykon?:smallyuk:

Of course! It explains everything! And it's even clearer if Vaarsuvius is Haley's identical twin sother (brister? :smallconfused:)

[Rob Roy]

Of course! It explains everything! And it's even clearer if Vaarsuvius is Haley's identical twin sother (brister? :smallconfused:)
It's starting to come together, but if this is true then V children's actually are the kids of all of the elven resistance members! How you ask, well one of the elven resistance members is actually V's half sibling!! :insertgomadfromtherevelationsmileyhere:

[The_Weirdo]

Wait, what?

[The Glyphstone]

Wow, your brain exploded from the awesomeness of Haley's Goblin heritage? Well, that's stupid. It is obvious that she is... I mean they... well, Haley is a humanoid, just like most goblins. Oh, and both goblins and Haley eat stuff. But Haley isn't Right-eye's daughter, she's Redcloak's daughter! Dun dun dun...

At first, I read this and thought you were suggesting that Haley was the daughter of Redcloak and Right-Eye.:smalleek::smalleek::smallfrown:

[Nimrod's Son]

God dammit people, this is one of his first posts, its a little bit silly and you drag this thread out taking the piss out of him? Way to encourage a new poster
Why on Earth should anyone want to encourage people to post that sort of nonsense?


No
Belkar is Right-Eye's eldest triplet.
Eldest by twenty years or more? That's a helluva protracted labour. :smallamused:

[Rob Roy]

Why on Earth should anyone want to encourage people to post that sort of nonsense?
We don't, but one of the reasons this was posted presumably has to do with the fact that this section is famous for insane nonsense masquerading as a theory. Stuff like "Belker's not evil" or "Miko didn't deserve to fall". At least we've shown we have a line for how nonsensical it has to be in order to not be taken seriously.

[Nimrod's Son]

We don't, but one of the reasons this was posted presumably has to do with the fact that this section is famous for insane nonsense masquerading as a theory.
Yes, exactly. There's already WAY more than enough of this tedious "maybe X is really Y in disguise" dreck without people actively encouraging more. :smallsigh:

[Mercutio]

Er, he died at the end of Start of Darkness and was raised as a zombie by Redcloak, so unless you're suggesting that somebody disguised himself as Right-Eye and was convincing enough to fool his own brother, I think we can safely assume the guy's dead.


Bizarrely enough, apart from Haley being totally the wrong age to be Right-Eye's daughter, I could actually believe this theory--it would certainly explain why we've never seen Haley's mother in the on-line comic!

Technically its possible he isnt dead. As seen here: About two goblin heads right of the tip of Roys sword. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0105.html)

Its possible He was some how brought back to life. I'm just to lazy to think of way as to how. Perhaps his body was destroyed, Red Cloak used a "Speak to Dead" spell or Plane Shifted over to talk with his Brother and asked for forgiveness, borhtly love moment, hugs, tears, etc. He then Ressurected him back on the Home plane.
We never acctually see this goblin with the Eye Patch "die". This could be quite possibly have been (or still is) Right Eye. He could have ran out of the room fast enough to avoid Belkar, during his "Precious Chunks of XP" moment. Hell he may even have left the Dungeon in time. :smallconfused:

But its far more likely that this character just carries a similarity to Right-Eye, minus the face pubes of course.

Edit: All though..... He may have just gotten so old he lost his hair..... :smalltongue:

[Nimrod's Son]

Right-Eye was an old man when he died; the goblin you're talking about has no wrinkles whatsoever. Plus Right-Eye never wore the all-black clothing that generic goblin mooks wear. It's just a random goblin with an eyepatch - there's absolutely no way it's Right-Eye.

Not to mention that this goblin would have died when the dungeon exploded, so he's still dead either way.

[Swordpriest]

I told y'all already.
Clones.
Righty Eye, Haley's Mom, Thog, the Chief, and Mr Scuffy are are all the same person.

I support this theory. Wholeheartedly. :smallbiggrin:

[Mercutio]

Right-Eye was an old man when he died; the goblin you're talking about has no wrinkles whatsoever. Plus Right-Eye never wore the all-black clothing that generic goblin mooks wear. It's just a random goblin with an eyepatch - there's absolutely no way it's Right-Eye.

Not to mention that this goblin would have died when the dungeon exploded, so he's still dead either way.

It was more of my own wacky theory. I was by no means serious.