Would you say something to Tarquin at the end of #763?

[ghoul-n]

Assuming that you are his son/daughter and you have got 15 levels of your favorite class behind you.

(except the «Disintegrate. Gust of wind.», okay)

[Jan Mattys]

"Dad, this is not going to end well.

In the best case scenario, you will have to kill me, something I hope you wouldn't be exactly delighted to do.

In the worst case scenario, I will have to kill you, something I know I don't want to live with for the rest of my life.

You already had your twenty-or-so years as the ruler of half the world. You already lived like a king. So let's make a deal: I will spare both of us the burden of trying to kill each other, effectively sparing you the fate you deserve, and you will stop your evil ways, starting now.

You have money and luxuries enough for the rest of your life, just stop hurting innocents to have more. I will be happy with the thought of helping you get away from your evil ways and of almost redeeming you.

It's not too late. Together, we can win against plot.

But don't take my offer as a free get-out-of-jail ticket. This is a one-time deal. If you refuse, you force me to bring consequences on you, one way or another.

And in the end, one of our hearts WILL bleed. What's worse, probably both of them."

[Johel]

"To us, Daddy !!
By the way, did you ever heard of something called iocane powder ?"

[Rakarth]

Judging by the way Elan's running, and with that look on his face:

"We are SO gonna finish this conversation after I get back from the bathroom!"

Alternative:

"Where's that drinks table gone to? We can't have a proper toast without a drink in my hand! It undermines dramatic value!"

Alternate alternative:

Elan: "I'll never join you! You killed my father!"
Tarquin: "No...I am your father!"
Elan: "Yeah, I knew that, but somehow that seemed appropriate."

Alternately alternate alternative (in keeping with the original suggestion of having nearly 15 levels of bard behind you):

"As a bard, I should warn you that having the bad guys win means a LOT fewer songs of joy and triumph."

[Lews]

Hmm, tough one. Let's try this :

"Ever heard of Memory Charms ?" :smallamused:

[nac]

In the best case scenario, you will have to kill me, something I hope you wouldn't be exactly delighted to do.
That's not "best case", except from a very limited, linear point of view.

[nac]

(except the «Disintegrate. Gust of wind.», okay)
He'd have probably thought of that.

[Jan Mattys]

That's not "best case", except from a very limited, linear point of view.

That's exactly the point. In such a situation, me getting killed would be better than him getting killed by me. Killing my father is not something I look forward to, and in some strange way, I'd probably consider not-so-bad getting me killed while I try to stop him instead.

[Lord Raziere]

".....or I can just, y'know, not kill you at all and just take you prisoner then lead you back to the side of good on a redemption quest, either that or you die of old age powerless and held in prison while everyone wonders where you vanished. There are no legends of people who have disappeared, and you'll spend more years being a prisoner than you were in power if you can't become good and change your ways. A fitting punishment."

[SPoD]

".....or I can just, y'know, not kill you at all and just take you prisoner then lead you back to the side of good on a redemption quest, either that or you die of old age powerless and held in prison while everyone wonders where you vanished. There are no legends of people who have disappeared, and you'll spend more years being a prisoner than you were in power if you can't become good and change your ways. A fitting punishment."

Where, exactly, would this prison be located? And who would be guarding it?

Because I don't see anyone in the world that we have seen in this comic who is both able and willing to permanently imprison the head of state of a foreign power secretly and then repel all attempts by his powerful adventuring allies to free him. And that includes the Order themselves, even if they were willing to devote the rest of their lives to it (which I am certain several of them are not).

Remember that the Order had trouble figuring out a way to imprison the Linear Guild effectively; Tarquin & Co. are much more dangerous.

[Orzel]

So either you rule this place, I rule this place, or thousands die in a civil war.

See you in 10 years. I have to groom your replacement.

Call me if someone tries to assassinate you.

[nac]

That's exactly the point. In such a situation, me getting killed would be better than him getting killed by me. Killing my father is not something I look forward to, and in some strange way, I'd probably consider not-so-bad getting me killed while I try to stop him instead.
No, Tarquin would reply that him killing Elan isn't the best case. For him, the best scenario is the one that'd have him in power for the longest period and result in the most stirring Elan/Tarquin legend. If that particular outcome has him killing Elan or vice-versa, then it's an acceptable sacrifice.

[nac]

Moreover, I doubt Tarquin will ever seriously try to kill Elan. (unless Elan messes with his potential brides, maybe) He'll wait as long as it takes for Elan to become powerful enough to kill him.

[The Pilgrim]

"Dad, I'm not the real Hero of this story. And you are little more than a subplot villain"

[comicshorse]

" So dad tell me more about this living in luxury for decades deal "

[Sengoku]

"To us, Daddy !!
By the way, did you ever heard of something called iocane powder ?"

Genius :smallbiggrin:.

Though among the magical items Tarquin has, something against poison is probably there, and he could have seen it coming to the point he made Malack cast a spell on you making you vulnerable to iocaine.

Nale could deliver the quoted line perfectly and completely, I think...

[gooddragon1]

Here's what I'd say:

Ever heard of the 9 hells Tarquin? Odds are you'll be spending the rest of eternity in one of them. I wonder if those 30 years will be worth it then. That's also probably why there won't be so many people following in your footsteps.

[Vargtass]

"Dad, I'm not the real Hero of this story. And you are little more than a subplot villain"

This would at least bring Tarquin out of his comfort zone...

[Orzel]

If you kill Tarquin after saying your line, you are setting the Empire and the whole continent to collapse into wars.

Also Tarquin knows he's not the main villain. He let you live so you can kill the main villain. Heck, he doesn't even want his villainy public until after he dies. If you really want to piss him off you have to say:

"I'll be back Dad. And I'm killing you and your friends. And never telling the story."

But Elan'll never do that. Cause he's a bard.

[Warren Dew]

Where, exactly, would this prison be located? And who would be guarding it?

Lord Raziere's troops would be guarding it, obviously. After taking Tarquin prisoner, he's free to take over the empire and change its alignment to good.

[martinkou]

But I'm kinda disappointed in you, Dad. Stories these days tell of a god killing monster called the Snarl; we've met an epic lich Xykon who'd rather kill everyone than to stabilize a few nations; even my friend V has managed to kill 1/4 of all black dragons in this world over a family dispute just a few months ago. I'm sorry, Dad, while your sense of drama rocked, you're just a small-time villain - you're a semi-evil, a quasi-evil, the margarine of evil... You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.

[nac]

Jan Mattys: And... yeah, sorry for the misunderstanding.

[derfenrirwolv]

But think how much more drama there could be if it was a redemption story... falls from grace are common, and sure, people recover and become good after like, stealing stuff, but how many genocidal mass murderers EVER managed to claw their way back to good from the depths you've sunk? The fallan paladin things been done, lets try the rising monster.

[Dr.Epic]

"Hey dad, there are these Gate thing that can help us take over the world. Interested?"

What, you never said I had to be good.

[HalfTangible]

"Perhaps. But the good guy DOES win father.

Do you know what that paladin thought as he slayed that tyrant? It wasn't 'he lived like a god for thirty years'. It wasn't even 'good has triumphed once again.' The paladin thought, 'he won't live like a god for thirty MORE years.'

See, I don't care if you think you'll win. What you're doing is wrong. What has already been done cannot be undone, but i can sure as hell keep it from going on any longer.

*sigh* ...is what i'd like to say, but our current quest is too important. I won't do anything while we're here. But remember this.

When our quest is over, I'm going to come back, and i'm going to kill you before anyone even knows you were the one who got to rule a nation. Your story will never be known.

Remember that, 'Father'. Because when your reign comes to an end, no one will see a king meeting his dramatic end at the blade of his son. They will see an old general losing his life to a guy who SANG at him.

There's no honor in losing to a bard."

(bard is my favorite class flavor wise, partly because it's just so dang funny XD)

[NerfTW]

Nothing more than Elan said.

There's no point in arguing with him at that point, he has all his bases covered, but I would maybe point out one thing. Legends may be capable of extreme evil, but they always inspire a hero.

Sure he may go down in history, but so what? Stopping him still stops the suffering of his subjects.

[Gift Jeraff]

"You're only, like, the quinary antagonist at best, Dad, if we include the brother we don't know is alive and the archfiends I don't know about. Yeah, have fun knowing that Nale was more important to the plot than you."

[Heksefatter]

"How appropriate. You fight like a cow."

[Dr.Epic]

"How appropriate. You fight like a cow."

That reference doesn't really fit in here anywhere.

[HalfTangible]

"How appropriate. You fight like a cow."


That reference doesn't really fit in here anywhere.

Trying to remember where that was =/

[whitelaughter]

No.
Tarquin's got it all mapped out, and so long as he's prepared to pay the price, he's right.

- taking him down now is a bad idea; he's currently ending the ongoing wars in the continent.

- sure, the tale of Tarquin vs Elan will inspire generations of villains, but they'd have been villains anyway: getting them to lift their game is worthwhile.

- Once Elan wins, he has a 'you broke it, you bought it' responsibility to look after the triple empire, so the now peaceful continent has a chance of a happy future: especially as chaotic good is the default alignment of the elves up north, simplifying diplomatic negotiations. (Don't forget Elan's prophecy of a happy ending). Bards and Rogues get lots of skill points, so Elan and Haley should master running the empires quite quickly.

- when Tarquin dies, lots of lawful evil underlings will die with him, giving him a strong force to start the climb up through the ranks in the 9 hells. I'm guessing that he'll be a lemure for a century, tops.
- assuming that Tarquin hasn't already arranged with Malack that after being killed by Elan, Tarquin gets resurrected and goes on to his next scheme under an assumed name on a different continent.

[nac]

chance of a happy future
3 empires with no incentive to attack each other. roflmao

Wait, are you serious?

[Dr.Epic]

Trying to remember where that was =/

Honestly, I'm not sure where it's from. I do know the saying (or at least I can paraphrase it):

"You fight like a dairy farmer."
"How appropriate. You fight like a cow."

I only know of it because it was referenced in one episode of Yu Gi Oh Abridged.

[nac]

Monkey Island 1.