Hilarious Gaming Moments

[Keinnicht]

Hey all, I thought I'd start a thread to both share this story, and to hopefully hear other hilarious stories from others. I was DMing yesterday, and had the players have the first encounter in a stop-the-undead-apocalypse campaign. They returned to a small town they'd helped with a minor necromancer problem earlier in the campaign, and found the streets totally empty.

This prompted the following conversation:

Bard: I'm going to try to gather information.
Me: There's no one to gather information from. The streets are totally, totally empty. It's dead quiet.
Bard: Hmm...I'm going to start performing to try and draw attention and find some people.

At this point, I actually fell over from laughing, and was gasping for breath for about a minute. I think my eyes bulged out of my head a bit.

Then the zombies and vampire spawn burst out of the buildings, having had their attention grabbed.

[Moginheden]

Recently I was in a fight with a young dragon. Our sorcerer used ray of enfeeblement on it a few times while I stunned it repeatedly with sound bursts. We then had our halfling rogue climb up on it and pin it. We followed this up with summoned celestial badgers who gnawed it to death.

Most humiliating death of a dragon ever? maybe, maybe not, but it sure was hilarious.

[mucco]

Some weeks ago, I had pitted my players against some very tough monsters with high Spell Resistance. So while the party was generally struggling, I had the Dread Necro in my party repeatedly fail to overcome SR, and constantly cursing is dice. It was amusing to watch him get angry.

Then, as the battle neares an end, he casts enervation and manages to roll a 20 vs. SR. He screamed out "finally!" then went to roll his to-it for the ray and obviously rolled a 1. Would have hit on a 2, obviously. He already had the d4 for enervation on the other hand, but he became so angry that he threw it on a wall, digging a tiny hole in it. He then went out of the room cursing everything and everyone while we all were literally ROTFL.

[Keinnicht]

Recently I was in a fight with a young dragon. Our sorcerer used ray of enfeeblement on it a few times while I stunned it repeatedly with sound bursts. We then had our halfling rogue climb up on it and pin it. We followed this up with summoned celestial badgers who gnawed it to death.

Most humiliating death of a dragon ever? maybe, maybe not, but it sure was hilarious.

Oh god, the same bard has a fondness for Blindness/Deafness. She attempted to cast it on a dragon, and I rolled a three. The dragon was blinded, and the rest of the combat was just my NPC druid calling lightning on him and the bard stabbing him, while he flailed around and tried to hit us, which he managed to do twice.

Also, this player is new. We had encountered some kobolds, and I had explained to her earlier how incredibly, pathetically lame kobolds are. This point was even further emphasized when I kept rolling 1s for their attacks. I like to use nasty critical fumble rules for mooks for my entertainment, and kobolds are basically the definition of mook. The first time it happened, one just tripped and impaled himself on his spear. The second time one accidentally strangled himself with his sling. By the fifth time, I gave up and was having them die in ways like "His spear breaks and the shrapnel disintegrates him."

[Godskook]

In a game that's akin to Alice in Wonderland or Chronicles of Narnia(PCs are from our world, traveling to a strange new one):

Upon meeting the first friendly NPC
Scout: "We are the heroes of legend, if you have any"

Upon trying to trade a lighter to a merchant
Merchant: "Is....is this magic?"
Scout: "No, its technology. See, what you..." (Interrupted)
Wizard(Shouting): "If someone asks if you are a god, you say *YES*"

And since the game has enough D&D overtones to be obvious to a bunch of D&D players, they're allowed that knowledge in-game. Which lead to hilarious results when they asked for healing from a paladin who wasn't forthcoming about his magical abilities(but was about his paladin status, but most people wouldn't know).

And then they started talking about the "Prime Directive" in front of the local blacksmith.

[Vladislav]

A druid went to an armory, asking for a leather armor for his Dire Bat companion. After some futile attempts to explain to the city slicker armorsmith what a Dire Bat is, he gave up and provided the following simple instructions, "make it cow-sized, with holes for wings."

Amazingly enough, the armor fit.

Also, Rules Nazi must note that:

Recently I was in a fight with a young dragon. Our sorcerer used ray of enfeeblement on it a few times while I stunned it repeatedly with sound bursts.
Does not stack.

[jpreem]

A figher/rogue kind of character in my campaign who had like -1 charisma mod and zero social skills was reallly in a said placce with his finances( 1 gold and afew silvers) said - I'm going to look for thieves guild or somesuch in a shady part of the town to get somekind of illegal job (stealing/robbing etc.)
Rolled a really small number in the gather information skill, ( nat 2 or 1 or something), I had him roll his spot check - he failed. i announced he had his last gold peace stolen while he was looking for thieves :smallbiggrin:

[Gomar]

Playing in Scarred Lands...a White Wolf 3.5 setting....really liked it.

One feature of the Scarred Lands is the THE BLOOD SEA...in which all life is mutated and deranged and stuff like that...NOT a hospitable place...one DOES NOT want to be IN the Blood Sea...

We are on the coast of the Blood Sea, actually...in a small coastal town...at the coast, even...standing on a dock (can't remember why).

Warlock hears a voice calling him from the water...but he can't make it out...but really wants to...

DM: What do you do?
Warlock: I stick my ear in the water.
Everyone: .....really?.....

Warlock nearly dies from disease...seriously weakened for weeks...has to be rushed to far away city to be saved. Player is mercilessly teased...over and over again.

[Chilingsworth]

In a game that's akin to Alice in Wonderland or Chronicles of Narnia(PCs are from our world, traveling to a strange new one):

Upon meeting the first friendly NPC
Scout: "We are the heroes of legend, if you have any"

Upon trying to trade a lighter to a merchant
Merchant: "Is....is this magic?"
Scout: "No, its technology. See, what you..." (Interrupted)
Wizard(Shouting): "If someone asks if you are a god, you say *YES*"

And since the game has enough D&D overtones to be obvious to a bunch of D&D players, they're allowed that knowledge in-game. Which lead to hilarious results when they asked for healing from a paladin who wasn't forthcoming about his magical abilities(but was about his paladin status, but most people wouldn't know).

And then they started talking about the "Prime Directive" in front of the local blacksmith.

What game was this? And is it still in print?

[Godskook]

What game was this? And is it still in print?

D&D, 3.5, custom campaign setting. Fairly metagamish at the moment, and I take pride as being one of the rare few DMs who has ever started a campaign for a 'standard' setting(medieval tech) in a modern coffee shop.

[Jaidu]

4e game, the party had subdued a lizardman in an attempt to figure out why his tribe was attacking a camp.

Druid: Lizardman, what is your business here?
Me: Do you speak draconic?
Entire party, one at a time: No.
Me: Graahergg zzraggle traag!
Druid: Okay... I do an interpretive dance to try to convey my meaning. (Player begins to dance at the table)
Me: Um, roll an Acrobatics check.
Druid: 32.
Me: Yeah, he seems to get it.

Through a series of clever pantomimes and sand drawing, they managed to communicate in both directions. But the sudden improvised draconic at the table, followed by our druid actually beginning to dance, is one of the most memorable D&D experiences I've ever had.

[AnswersQuestion]

In the current Exalted game, my Sidereal made a blunder that almost costed her life.
Among other things she was demoted to office bitch. Turns out there IS a god of office bitches.
Me: So
GoOB: So
Me: You new here?

[Teln]

In the current Exalted game, my Sidereal made a blunder that almost costed her life.
Among other things she was demoted to office bitch. Turns out there IS a god of office bitches.
Me: So
GoOB: So
Me: You new here?

Bit of advice: Get Terminal Sanction as soon as possible.

[The Glyphstone]

Recently I was in a fight with a young dragon. Our sorcerer used ray of enfeeblement on it a few times while I stunned it repeatedly with sound bursts. We then had our halfling rogue climb up on it and pin it. We followed this up with summoned celestial badgers who gnawed it to death.

Most humiliating death of a dragon ever? maybe, maybe not, but it sure was hilarious.

Dragons do seem to die in amusing ways. I had a similar situation, only it involved a sorcerer who was enthusiastically spamming Summon Monster to get as many Celestial Monkeys as he could possibly conjure, eventually completely surrounding the dragon while it nommed on the fighter. Then it got low enough to attempt to flee, only to have a dozen or so holy monkeys make simultaneous AoO's on it, almost all of them hit, and wipe out its last 30HP or so.

[Sipex]

Yeah, the dragon in my game (4e) was overcome by overpowering resistance. In the end, the party all had 15 (temporary) damage resistance and the dragon could, at most, do 17 damage on a single attack before resistance was applied.

It surrendered.

[crazedloon]

indeed dragons are a sad thing at my table. I was able to suck one up into a tornado (which I had made) and while it spun around like a sad sack of meat
i called lightning down upon it. When the winds finally disappeared and the lightning stopped there was nothing but scattered remains of burnt flesh. Needless to say the guy in my group who wanted to make armor from the body was a little upset.

[Maho-Tsukai]

I have an awesome one with shadowrun that was both lolzworthy and epicly awesome at the same time. We where fighting a very powerful vampire and where at the end of our ropes. Two party members had died, the rest of us where quite wounded. One of my friends took out his a dragon rocket launcher...everybody was like "Why the heck are you going to use that, it's for vehicil kills, not vampire slaying." Then that friend asked the GM "what time of day is it?" The GM, not realizing what scheme was being set into motion said "afternoon." My friend proceeded to blast a hole in the roof of the building, letting the sun pour in. Vampire dead. Epic lolz and epic awesomeness collided and that friend was rewarded handosomely with lots of karma.

[Christopher K.]

Connor keeps insisting that Dark Sun takes place on Tatooine. It was funny the first time, but now the general consensus is that every time he says this the party is going to be attacked by Fremen who will hold Connor hostage for the encounter.

[The Glyphstone]

Connor keeps insisting that Dark Sun takes place on Tatooine. It was funny the first time, but now the general consensus is that every time he says this the party is going to be attacked by Fremen who will hold Connor hostage for the encounter.

What are Fremen doing on Tatooine? Or is that part of the joke?

[Angry Bob]

Said by a guy in my group after correcting a misapplication of templates:

"Yeah, I don't really want mineral warrior anyway. It's cheese. So, when I'm level 6, can I take Leadership?" All in one breath.

[Choco]

Said by a guy in my group after correcting a misapplication of templates:

"Yeah, I don't really want mineral warrior anyway. It's cheese. So, when I'm level 6, can I take Leadership?" All in one breath.

LOL, that reminds me of a guy in my group, here are all things that he said, in order, within about 10 minutes during a game one time (paraphrased a bit):

"WHAT! You got 35 AC at level 10? I can't believe the DM let you get away with that overpowered BS!"

"WHAT! You can do 10d6 damage to a single target per round at lvl 10? What a bunch of overpowered munchkin BS!"

"Alright, I rolled a 10, so that's a 75 on my Diplomacy check."

[HalfTangible]

Our party wizard, right before a biiiiiiiiiiiiig boss battle, actually said the phrase 'i put on my robe and wizard hat' unironically.

It wasn't until after we saw the confused look on his face that we stopped laughing, realized he'd never heard of it, and told him he didn't WANT to get the joke.

His reply: "I'm still putting them on."

[Kesnit]

In the 4e campaign I play in, we just fought the BBEG for the first time. The Razerclaw Shifter Ranger (played by the DM's wife) was knocked out, but the Artificer and Runepriest (played by me and my fiancee, respectively) got her back on her feet. Once she did, she tore after the BBEG, using her Action Point to burn 2 dailies. Every attack hit, and she gave the BBEG a huge pounding.

The BBEG had a power that (1/round) let him, as an immediate reaction, attack someone who hit him in melee. The DM tried it (after the Ranger's first daily, which would have pushed her away and negated her second attack)- and rolled a 1. On the BBEG's turn, the DM tried to attack the Ranger -and rolled another 1. Finally, he tried to save against several DOT's and statuses the party had on him - and failed every single one.

I started laughing and said the Ranger had scared the BBEG into complete inaction.

[randomhero00]

Shrug, I personally think this is funny maybe you won't but...the most funny time I've had with a character is playing a good looking one that's bisexual and a nympomaniac. He would always try to get 3 somes going....even with half-orcs and dwarves...the looks on my party's face when the DM described the grunting coming from the room was priceless.