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ErrantX
2010-12-15, 11:09 PM
Golden Lion

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii99/lythonv66/CommanderTorranserendipityThumb.jpg
Commander Torran, a Golden Lion commander

The discipline of Golden Lion is a practice passed between war leaders, chieftains, generals, and militia leaders over the generations, meant to bring a group of warriors together into one cohesive unit. The practices are believed to have been founded in the deep, wild, and untamed plains where plainsmen watched the fighting techniques of the tawny furred lionesses and the role of the alpha male lion. Adapting these practices, the soldiers that conquered these people at great cost learned from their slaves, and from there the discipline was recognized and spread from amongst all who would wish to learn it.

Golden Lion is a discipline that only greatly benefits a warrior who believes strongly in teamwork. The larger the group, the more who can benefit from the skilled leadership of a dedicated commander. Golden Lion aids its practitioners by aiding his allies primarily instead. Because of this association with team work and working in groups with many differing people, the associated skill for this discipline is Diplomacy, and its associated weapons are longsword, long spear, ranseur, great axe, and the trident.

Author's Notes: Golden Lion is a replacement discipline to White Raven if it is used, and given to both Warblade (Intelligence) and Crusader (Charisma).

ErrantX
2010-12-15, 11:10 PM
Maneuver List

1st
Tactical Strike: Strike - Make a successful attack, grant nearby ally the ability to move up to 10ft.
Encouraging Roar: Boost - Until next turn, all allies gain a +2 morale bonus to all attacks and damage.
Demoralizing Roar: Boost - Any target struck by you in melee is shaken for 1 round.
Pride Leader's Stance: Stance - Initiator and allies within 20-ft gain a +4 morale bonus to saves vs fear and demoralization effects.
2nd
Call to Action: Strike - Melee attack inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage, grant adjacent ally an immediate move action.
Defending the Pride: Boost - Grant all allies within 60-ft a bonus to +2 to AC for one round.
Pyrite Strike: Strike - Strike inflicts an additional 1d6 points of damage and moves an opponent 5-ft in a direction of your choosing.
Warning Roar: Counter - Make an opposing Diplomacy check to negate an enemy's attack on a nearby ally.
3rd
Kill the Wounded: Strike - Target of this strike takes an additional 2d6 points of damage on attacks made upon him by allies.
Circling the Prey: Boost - Grant all allies within 60-ft a free 5-ft step.
Golden Lion's Stance: Stance - All allies within 60-ft of your position may gain flanking if they are adjacent to an ally when engaged in melee.
4th
Golden Swipe: Strike - Melee attack inflicts an additional 6d6 points of damage and moves the opponent 10-ft in a direction of your choosing.
Charge of the Battle Cat: Strike – Make a charge attack which does not provoke attacks of opportunity. If successful, then the charge inflicts an additional 4d6 points of damage and has a chance to knock target prone.
Direct the Pride: Boost – Target adjacent ally who has not acted this turn, move his initiative directly after yours for this turn, the following turn he returns to his former initiative.
5th
Roar of Battle: Strike – Make a melee attack that inflicts an additional 6d6 points of damage, all other allies that attack the target inflict an additional 3d6 points of damage on successful attacks.
Strategic Blow: Strike: Make a successful melee attack on a target, strike inflicts 8d6 points of additional damage and grants an ally within 10ft of the adept a move action.
Eternal Discipline of the Pack: Boost - Grant all allies within 30ft one feat that you possess for three rounds.
6th
Harry the Prey: Strike – Make a successful melee attack, all allies within 30ft may make an immediate attack against any foe they are capable of attacking.
Golden General's Attitude: Stance – Grant a morale bonus to all allies within 60ft, +1 for every 6/initiator levels.
Endurance of the Strong: Counter – When an ally within 30ft is struck in combat and injured, the adept may make an immediate shout of inspiration to restore some of the ally's flagging strength, restoring twice the adept's initiator level in hit points.
7th
Golden General's Victory: Boost – Upon felling a foe, all allies within 60ft are healed a number of hit points equal to the adept's initiator level.
War Lion's Charge: Strike -Make a charge attack against a foe which does not provoke attacks of opportunity, if successful the attack inflicts an additional 14d6 points of damage and potentially stuns the opponent for one round.
Orichalcum Swipe: Strike - Melee attack inflicts an additional 12d6 points of damage, target makes up to a full move in a direction of your choosing.
8th
Lion Lord's Agony: Strike – Strike inflicts additional damage equal to the hit point damage the adept has received.
Triumphant Lion's Leadership: Stance – Initiator and allies within 10ft of the adept, gain +1d6 points of damage for every foe that the adept has defeated during the encounter (max +5d6).
Alpha's Roar: Boost – The adept releases an awesome call and grants a +4 moral bonus to all allies' saving throws for the round and increases the DC's of allies abilities by 4.
9th
Lord of the Pridelands: Boost - You grant your allies gain +1 to hit and damage per ally (max +20), and +4 to AC and saves to each ally within 60-ft for one round.

ErrantX
2010-12-15, 11:12 PM
Maneuver Descriptions

1st
Tactical Strike
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack; 10ft
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

Any commander knows that in battle, footwork is key. By utilizing this theory, the Golden Lion adept helps his comrades to understand this. The adept makes a melee attack against a foe; if successful any ally he designates within 10ft of his position may make a free 10ft movement without provoking attacks of opportunity.

Encouraging Roar
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: 30ft
Target: Allied creature(s)
Duration: One round

The adept lets out shouts of encouragement to bolster his allies in battle. All allies within 30ft of the Golden Lion adept gain a +2 morale bonus to hit and damage for one round.

Demoralizing Roar
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: One round
Saving Throw: Will save (negates)

With a shout of rage and defiance, the Golden Lion adept wades into battle with fearless determination, shattering the resolve of his foes. As a swift action the character’s attacks become filled with the dread of defeat, causing foes to be shaken for one round (Will save DC 11 + relevant initiator attribute negates).

Pride Leader’s Stance
Golden Lion (Stance)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

By adopting the mannerisms of commanding lions of the great savannahs, the adept inspires heroics by his presence. By adopting this stance, the initiator and all allies within 20ft of his position gain a +4 morale bonus to saves vs fear effects and demoralization effects.

2nd
Call to Action
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 2
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

With a mighty blow, the adept aids an ally by providing an opening in combat to move by an opponent. The character makes a successful melee attack, inflicting an additional 2d6 points of damage and granting an adjacent ally an immediate move action.

Defending the Pride
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 2
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: 60ft
Target: Allied creature(s)
Duration: One round

With a cry to defend themselves from incoming attacks, the inspirational words of the adept aid his allies in their defense. As a swift action, the character grants all allies within 60ft a +2 morale bonus to their AC for one round.

Pyrite Strike
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 2
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

With a powerful strike, the Golden Lion adept pushes his foe into the waiting arms of his allies and their hungry blades. The character makes a successful melee attack, inflicting an additional 1d6 points of damage and forcing his foe to make a 5ft movement from the square he is currently occupying. This movement provokes attacks of opportunity to those capable of making them against the target.

Warning Roar
Golden Lion (Counter)
Level: 2
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: 60ft
Target: One allied creature
Duration: Instant

Witnessing a clear and present danger to an ally, the adept shouts out a well-timed warning and aids his ally in defending against an attack. The character makes a Diplomacy check opposing an opponent’s attack roll made on an ally, if successful then the attack is negated.

3rd
Kill the Wounded
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 3
Prerequisites: 1 Golden Lion maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

The Golden Lion adept makes a ferocious assault on his foe, opening the enemy’s defenses to the attacks of his allies. The character makes a successful melee attack against a foe and subsequent attacks made by the character’s allies inflict an additional 2d6 points of damage per successful attack.

Circling the Prey
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 3
Prerequisites: 1 Golden Lion maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: 60ft
Target: All allies
Duration: Instant

With practiced precision and a quick shout, the adept and his allies move in unison for better strategic advantage. The character’s shout grants himself and his allies a free 5ft step that must be taken when this boost is used.

Golden Lion’s Stance
Golden Lion (Stance)
Level: 3
Prerequisites: 1 Golden Lion maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

Through the use of the Golden Lion adept’s superior tactical ability, he is able to direct his allies in combat for maximum effectiveness. As long as his allies within 60ft of him can clearly hear his shouts and understand his language, he grants his allies the ability to gain flanking with allies that adjacent to them while fighting in melee against the same opponent.

4th
Golden Swipe
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 4
Prerequisites: 1 Golden Lion maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

With a series of furious blows again his foe, the Golden Lion adept batters his opponent into the waiting blades of his allies. The character makes a successful melee attack, inflicting an additional 6d6 points of damage and forcing his foe to make a 10ft movement from the square he is currently occupying in a direction of his choosing. This movement provokes attacks of opportunity to those capable of making them against the target.

Charge of the Battle Cat
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 4
Prerequisites: 1 Golden Lion maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant
Saving Throw: Reflex (partial)

Like the charge of the mighty lion as he takes his prey to the ground, the Golden Lion adept charges into battle, heedless of his enemies, to crash into his chosen foe with a mighty strike, knocking him to the ground at his feet. The character makes a successful charge attack, inflicting an additional 4d6 points of damage. Additionally, the foe must make a Reflex save (DC equal to 14 + relevant initiator stat) or be knocked prone from the strike.

Direct the Pride
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 4
Prerequisites: 1 Golden Lion maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Adjacent ally
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

Cooperation and teamwork form the backbone of tactical warfare, and through his knowledge of all of these things, the Golden Lion adept may help direct the actions of his ally to greater effectiveness. As a swift action, the character targets an adjacent ally who has not yet acted this turn. That character may now act immediately following the Golden Lion adept’s action as if his initiative result was one lower than the adept. The following round, the target of this boost returns to his previous initiative result.

5th
Roar of Battle
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 5
Prerequisites: 2 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: One round

The Golden Lion adept delivers a telling blow, shattering bones and defenses alike as he presses the foe into opening vital places for his allies to gain purchase. The character makes a successful melee attack inflicting an additional 6d6 points of damage. Allies who attack the target of this maneuver inflict an additional 3d6 points of damage on successful attacks for one round.

Strategic Blow
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 5
Prerequisites: 2 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

With a tremendous strike, the adept confuses the enemy and creates an opening for an ally to reposition himself. The character makes a successful melee attack inflicting an additional 8d6 points of damage; additionally an ally within 10ft of the character that he chooses may make a move action immediately.

Eternal Discipline of the Pack
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 5
Prerequisites: 2 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: 30ft
Target: All allies
Duration: Three rounds

Through training with his allies, the adept has taught them the basics of his military skill that they may call upon in times of duress. As a swift action, the character may grant one of his combat feats to any of his allies within 30ft for 3 rounds. No character can benefit from this ability more than once at a time.

6th
Harry the Prey
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 6
Prerequisites: 2 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 30ft
Target: Allies
Duration: Instant

Through coordinated tactics, the comrades at a Golden Lion adept’s side may act as one. The character makes a successful melee attack against a foe, and all allies within 30ft may make an immediate attack against any one foe that they threaten at their full attack bonus.

Golden General’s Attitude
Golden Lion (Stance)
Level: 6
Prerequisites: 2 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

A true Golden Lion adept is a beacon of command on the field of battle, inspiring his troops by his mere presence. All allies within 60ft of the character gain a +1 morale bonus to attack and damage rolls, and to saves vs fear and demoralization effects per six initiator levels.

Endurance of the Strong
Golden Lion (Counter)
Level: 6
Prerequisites: 2 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: 30ft
Target: One ally
Duration: Instant

Allies falling in combat weakens the core of the unit, so when an ally is injured, it is up to the commanding presence of the Golden Lion adept to bolster his fallen comrades. When an ally is struck in combat and injured and within 30ft of the character, he may shout words of inspiration and encouragement to restore some fortitude to his ally. The target of this counter immediately has twice the adept’s initiator level in hit points restored to his total.

7th
Golden General’s Victory
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 7
Prerequisites: 3 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: 60ft
Target: Allies
Duration: Instant

The power and majesty of the lion lords of the wild lives within the adept, so much so that his victories are a victory for all of his allies. Whenever the character reduces a foe to 0 hit points or below, his allies are bolstered and their hearts are rededicated to victory. Allies within 60ft of the character have a number of hit points equal to the adept’s initiator level restored.

War Lion’s Charge
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 7
Prerequisites: 3 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant
Saving Throw: Fortitude (partial)

With the ferocity of an angered lion, the Golden Lion adept races across the battlefield ignoring secondary targets to bear down on a single enemy and reduce him to dust. The character makes a successful charge attack against a foe (which does not provoke attacks of opportunity) and this attack inflicts an additional 14d6 points of damage. The foe must also make a Fortitude save (DC 17 + relevant initiator stat) or be stunned for one round.

Orichalcum Swipe
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 7
Prerequisites: 3 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

A Golden Lion adept shapes the very nature of war, and this technique allows him to direct his foes through his allies’ blades as easily as a knife through bread. With a mighty cry and a tremendously potent attack, the adept ruins his foe. The character makes a successful melee attack inflicting an additional 12d6 points of damage, and forces the foe to make a full move action in the direction of the character’s choosing which provokes attacks of opportunity.

8th
Lion Lord’s Agony
Golden Lion (Strike)
Level: 8
Prerequisites: 3 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

With a fury born of desperation and determination for victory, the Golden Lion adept pours his pain into his swings so that the enemy may drink deeply of it. The character makes a successful melee attack, and in lieu of the weapon’s damage the attack instead inflicts a number of points of damage equal to the character’s maximum hit points minus his current hit points (example, if the adept has 200 maximum hit points and has been wounded down to 54 remaining hit points, this attack inflicts 146 points of damage).

Triumphant Lion’s Leadership
Golden Lion (Stance)
Level: 8
Prerequisites: 3 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

A beacon of victory upon the field of combat, the adept personifies glory in combat and those in his presence may share in his prowess. The character an any allies within 10ft of the adept gains an additional +1d6 points of damage per attack per foe that the character has slain (maximum of five slain foes for +5d6 bonus damage) while this stance is in effect.

Alpha’s Roar
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 8
Prerequisites: 3 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: 30ft
Target: Allies
Duration: One round

With an awesome cry for victory and bravery from his allies, the Golden Lion adept bolsters the defenses and attacks for a moment as his allies cannot help themselves but to win. Allies within 30ft of the adept gain a +4 morale bonus to their savings throws an increase to the DC’s of their abilities for one round.

9th

Lord of the Pridelands
Golden Lion
Level: 9
Prerequisites: 4 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 60ft
Target: Any allies
Duration: One round

Proving he is the undisputed master of war, the Golden Lion master calls for absolute and crushing victory through overwhelming force of numbers. For every ally within the 60ft range of this maneuver, these allies gains a +1 morale bonus to hit and damage per ally (not to exceed their hit dice, maximum of +20), and a +4 morale bonus AC and saving throws for one round.

ErrantX
2010-12-15, 11:20 PM
Golden Lion is my final contribution Discipline-wise to the Libram of Battle project, my fellow authors are working on finishing theirs respectively. Golden Lion is my answer to White Raven; a bit stronger in some ways, a little weaker in others, but I shot for at least on par if maybe a tad stronger than White Raven when building this discipline. When designing the Libram's discipline structure I realized that there really desperately needed to be a discipline that focused on team-work and aiding one's fellows, so this discipline came about by necessity.

I share this with the Playground for honest critiques to the maneuvers for power level, mechanical issues, potential breaks, and grammar/spelling mistakes. I'd appreciate comments that are negative and offer no aid to balancing, fixing, or otherwise improving this discipline to be withheld. If you don't like it, by all means, don't use it or think on it if you just want to tell me it sucks. If you want to tell me you don't like it and give me reasonable objections to it then by all means, let me know.

Anyhow, thank you for checking out the discipline and thank you in advance for your critiques, advice, and comments.

-X

The Mentalist
2010-12-16, 01:00 AM
I don't have anything balance or critique to say (not qualified) but I like it and I'll be using it.

Stellar work Errant, thank you.

ErrantX
2010-12-16, 07:25 PM
I don't have anything balance or critique to say (not qualified) but I like it and I'll be using it.

Stellar work Errant, thank you.

Well, I appreciate your comment and let me know what kind of mileage you get from it. I've not yet been able to play test it in game yet. You're very welcome, glad you enjoy it!

-X

Temotei
2010-12-16, 07:28 PM
Golden Lion is my final contribution Discipline-wise to the Libram of Battle project

That's rather depressing, though understandable, considering the number of disciplines you've made.

I have to look through this one...

ForzaFiori
2010-12-17, 01:54 AM
Maneuver Descriptions



9th
Lord of the Pridelands
Golden Lion (Boost)
Level: 9
Prerequisites: 4 Golden Lion maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: 60ft
Target: You and allies
Duration: One round

Proving he is the undisputed master of war, the Golden Lion master calls for absolute and crushing victory through overwhelming force of numbers. For every ally within the 60ft range of this boost, the character and each of these allies gains a +2 morale bonus to hit, damage, AC, and saving throws for one round (to a maximum of +20).

Did you mean for this to say +2/initiator level, or something similar? You have the "(to a maximum of +20)", but nothing that makes it be higher than a +2.

Jota
2010-12-17, 02:05 AM
Did you mean for this to say +2/initiator level, or something similar? You have the "(to a maximum of +20)", but nothing that makes it be higher than a +2.


For every ally within the 60ft range of this boost, the character and each of these allies gains a +2 morale bonus to hit, damage, AC, and saving throws for one round (to a maximum of +20)

1234567890

ErrantX
2010-12-17, 02:18 AM
That's rather depressing, though understandable, considering the number of disciplines you've made.

I have to look through this one...

Well, 8 Disciplines so far and I'm the main editor of the others, so... I'll have my fill of Disciplines for a bit. By the time it's done, the Libram will have 18 disciplines to choose from. Upside to this: I'm moving on to base classes, and within a week I should have three of them done.


Did you mean for this to say +2/initiator level, or something similar? You have the "(to a maximum of +20)", but nothing that makes it be higher than a +2.

Jota pretty much emphasized the part you missed. But basically, if I have 6 allies and I use Lord of the Pridelands, then everyone gains a +12 to the relevant rolls.

-X

Koury
2010-12-17, 03:12 AM
Do you, for any of the maneuvers, count yourself as an ally?

ErrantX
2010-12-17, 10:19 AM
Do you, for any of the maneuvers, count yourself as an ally?

No, the initiator never counts as an ally.

-X

ErrantX
2010-12-18, 10:45 PM
*bump*

Just seeing if there are any more comments regarding this discipline, balance/playability wise and such. If so, please let me know :)

-X

Violet Octopus
2010-12-19, 11:20 AM
I do not have my copy of ToB on me, and have never played a martial adept (alas), so I can't comment on balance or playability, but I picked up a few typos and cases of vague wording.

edit: some of my questions are answered by the wording in the maneuver list, but the maneuver writeups themselves still need to be clear.

Demoralising Roar
Does it affect all attacks the adept makes that turn, or just one? I assume the former, since "the character's attacks are filled with the dread of defeat", but the Target line says one creature. The target is the adept? The other unclear thing: do unsuccessful attacks trigger the save-or-shaken effect? The text should specify melee attacks.

Pride Leader's Stance
Starts two sentences with "By adopting". The second could be changed to "While in this stance". Nitpicky I know, but it jumped out at me.

Call to Action
Huh? As-written, suggests the adept makes an auto-hit attack, with extra damage and enabling an ally to move. Presumably this is not the case, and the wording could change to "the character makes a melee attack, which if successful deals an additional 2d6 points of damage and grants an adjacent ally…". If it is the case, adding the word "automatically" would make the intent clearer.
The other question is your use of the word "immediate". Does the granted move action take up the ally's immediate action if used?

Pyrite Strike
The foe chooses the direction to be pushed, yes? That's what I'd assume, though the flavour text could lead to other interpretations. never mind, see Golden Swipe.
It also has that "the character makes a successful melee attack" wording again.

Kill the Wounded
"Successful melee attack" again. I guess third level maneuvers are roughly the right level for auto-hit melee attacks, but once again, as a DM I'd assume auto-hitting isn't intentional, since it's such a significant thing for a melee attack to do and the wording doesn't lend enough certainty that that is the intended meaning.
Does the bonus ally damage only apply for 1 round similar to Roar of Battle, until the end of the encounter, or permanently? :smalleek:
In any case, the "Duration:" entry should probably be changed.

Golden Lion's Stance
"As long as his allies within 60ft of him can clearly hear his shouts and understand his language, he grants his allies the ability to gain flanking with allies that are adjacent to them while fighting in melee against the same opponent."
So Alice, Golden Lion Adept, and her companions Bob and Charlie are fighting Xyffyt, Yrkla and Zzazzle. A, B and C are standing in a row, opposite X, Y and Z.
"Fighting in melee against the same opponent" is not well-defined. Bob and Charlie attempted to attack Zzazzle last turn, so they're now treated as flanking him? B attacks Z again this turn, while C drinks a potion. Are they still both fighting in melee against Z? If not, what if B & C both plan to attack Z, B does so and deals sneak attack damage, but then C changes his mind and drinks a potion?
I suggest changing the text to something like "Any two adjacent allies, so long as they are within 60ft of the Golden Lion adept, can clearly hear his shouts and understand his language, are treated as flanking any enemies adjacent to both of them."

Golden Swipe
"With a series of furious blows against his foe"
Same issues as Pyrite Strike, though it does say "in a direction of his choosing", "his" could mean the initiator or the foe. Since it's a higher level strike, I'm assuming Pyrite Strike's movement is foe's choice, while Golden Strike's is initiator's choice.
Oh, wait, the maneuver list says both strikes move the opponent in a direction of your choosing. This wording could be used in both strikes' writeups for clarity.
One other thing: I haven't read much of Libram of Battle, but I thought one of the design principles was to have no "like X, but more damage/bigger numbers" maneuvers. Did this prove impractical?

Charge of the Battle Cat
I'll stop mentioning the whole "makes successful attack" thing now, other than that I quite like this maneuver. It's the first one in a while doesn't rely on an explicitly ally-based effect, but still has obvious teamwork utility and is thematic. I've liked most of the maneuvers, but this one stood out despite (or because of) its simplicity.

Direct the Pride
"As a swift action, the character targets an adjacent ally who has not yet acted this turnround."
Fixed.

Roar of Battle
I see little relationship between the name and the effect.

Strategic Blow
Same issues as Call to Action.

Eternal Discipline of the Pack
is awesome. Just saying.

Golden General's Attitude
I would have made it +1 per 5 initiator levels, or even per 4 initiator levels, partly because +3 at 20th level isn't that fantastic considering what other stances you could have, and partly so there's a point to having IL 20, to encourage single classing.

Golden General's Victory
So I fell opponents during my turn, then activate Golden General's Victory as a swift action? I'm sure there's something not quite right about an instant duration effect that heals hit points whenever you fell an opponent.

Lion Lord's Agony
Quite potent combined with Frenzied Berserker :smallfurious:

Alpha's Roar
"Allies within 30ft of the adept gain a +4 morale bonus to their savings throws an increase and to the DC’s of their abilities for one round."

Now, onto what effects could be added.
* One lion(ess) can spook prey into the direction of waiting lion(esses). This is mimicked by Pyrite/Golden/Orichalcum Swipes, but what about one which targets Will or Sense Motive instead of AC? Since Orichalcum Swipes moves the target up to their speed, it could be a good candidate for being converted into such an effect.

* There's only one maneuver which uses the key skill, Diplomacy. The obvious addition is one which lets you sub a Diplomacy check for an ally's Will save ("It's me, snap out of it"). This follows nicely from Warning Roar. Fortitude is implausible - "Come on, are you a man or a mouse? Fight that poison!" - but Reflex could work.

* Swift Lunging Stance: This stance emphasises keeping the legs poised, read to spring out in any direction should an enemy attempt to flee. You shout reminders to your allies to follow your footwork. While in it, you and any allies within X feet receive the following benefit: You may make a 5 ft step as an immediate action if, by doing so, you are then in a position to make an attack of opportunity. Once you have done so, you must make the attack of opportunity.

Cieyrin
2010-12-19, 03:29 PM
Nice work, as usual, X.

Looks fairly well balanced against White Raven, with the notable change of WRT up to 4th and decently written. There are a couple points I'd like to make that caught my eye with my read through.

Pride Leader's Stance and Golden General's Attitude give a bonus vs. fear AND demoralizing effects, which is already covered by Intimidate, so you can just say it applies vs. fear and it'll naturally cover the other part. Unless you're meaning it's a double bonus, which I'm doubtful of.

Charge of the Battle Cat and War Lion's Charge are, like in Raging Storm, are standard action charges, when charges are normally full round actions. While I appreciate the ability to do a standard action charge without having to be staggered, I'm not sure that was your intent.

Orichalcum Strike's "forced move action" seems odd compared to the earlier maneuver versions, as I was under the assumption that you're shoving the target around, not scaring them into moving like Orichalcum seems to indicate. If it's supposed to be a shoving maneuver, I'm not sure how a character being faster comes into the mix, y'know? I'm also not sure how the adept is "ruining" the target, other than the damage dealt. A verb change is probably in order.

Otherwise, tis good, I say. Them's my 2 coppers. Take as you will.