Some people... [Rant]

[RandomLunatic]

Every Friday this semester, I have an early morning class. And, to the eternal dismay of my tardiness record, I keep running into... that guy.

He walks his daughter out to meet the bus, then he climbs aboard and talks with the driver.

On the face of it, nothing wrong with that. My mom used to do that when I went to grade and high school. However, (A) We lived on a back road nobody was trying to use at 7:30 AM, and (B) she kept it short-typically about 20 seconds, a minute tops.

This guy fit neither. He lives on a secondary highway, and he talks, and talks, and talks-for upwards of four minutes, according to the clock on my dashboard. Meanwhile, the school bus is sitting there with its red lights running, meaning nobody can get past (my state has a law that prohibits passing a school bus with its red lights on, even if you are in the other lane.).

So yesterday, having got sutck at the front of the inevitable line of cars, and watching the clock tick away on me, finally decided to clue him in to the fact other people were trying to drive here, and that if he wanted to discuss last night's ball game, perhaps he should find a more appropriate venue then the middle of a two-lane highway, and tapped the horn. This caused him to walk over to my car and ask if somethign was wrong. I told hims I was running late and would be grateful if he could wrap it up sometime this morning. He told me I was inconsiderate.

Let me repeat that; all semester (and probably longer), he has been holding up traffic every day (I am guessing, at least) on a public road for these conversations, and he had the gall to say I was inconsiderate!

I had a very forum-unfriendly response, and then, after a staredown/awkward silence, he went back, said something to the driver, and went back inside.

Sorry. I just needed to rant.

For anybody keeping score,, thanks to the argument, I was even later than usual for class, so there is probably an aesop to had about the self-destructive nature of anger.

[KingOfLaughter]

After the third or fourth time I would have gotten out of my car and told him off, but that's me. So sir, you have more patience then me. Although yes, anger tends to destroy the creator, but that is it's purpose, destruction.

[mucat]

I definitely wouldn't have been as patient as you were, for as long as you did. That said, there ought to be no reason for it to be a hostile confrontation.

The first time he did this, I would just figure he was taking care of some urgent business, and wait for him. The second time, get out of the car, approach him, and just ask "Sir, you probably forgot about this, but other traffic can't pass this bus while it's stopped. Can you wrap up this conversation?" If he's a reasonable guy, then I'd expect him to say "Oops; yeah, I forgot." If he doesn't, tell the bus driver, "Please ask him to step off your bus so we can all start moving again."

If the driver also won't do anything, then I'd phone the school district and ask them to instruct their drivers not to hold long conversations with parents. If the district drags their feet, then escalate to the boss of whoever you talked to, then tp their boss...and all these people get another call each time it happens. If this doesn't help, then because I'm a stubborn bastard, I would also show up at school board meetings and write letters to the editor of local papers.

If the father didn't get over his sense of entitlement, then the district would end up instituting a policy on this. I really can't stand parents who think that because they have managed to reproduce (which isn't really much of an accomplishment[1]; most lifeforms manage it all the time with no specialized training), their kids take priority over everyone else.


[1] All right; from an evolutionary standpoint, it is the accomplishment. Still, dude, show some consideration.

[Xyk]

Could you...like...leave 5 minutes earlier? I mean that would negate the problem while avoiding confrontation, which is always my personal preference.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Some people... [Rant]
Do they, how interesting!

OK, joking asside I think that you made the right call here, and that the advice to contact the people who run the school bus is good advice. After all what they are effectively allowing to happen is for this parent to be left for a protracted period with other people's children. Now the bus driver has been veted, but I bet the parent has not. I don't think that he might do anything, but he is being placed in a situation where he could. Also, I dont know about the US (where, by your language and use of terms, I assume you are from) but in the UK if a bus where parked in such a location for an extended period while not picking up or setting down (and it isn't because no one is actually trying to get on/off) and such a law about passing where in place the driver could be taken to court for Causing an Obstruction of The Queen's Highway. But above all be polite in your dealings. The only other thing I can think of is to either leave earlier or travel a different way to your class. A pain I know but at the end of the day you have to worry about your class and real life, not events as they should be.

[Dvandemon]

Could you...like...leave 5 minutes earlier? I mean that would negate the problem while avoiding confrontation, which is always my personal preference.

Yeah but, he's not the only one inconvenienced, leaving five minutes early would probably just lead another person having the same confrontation, especially since the confronter has the moral high ground in this argument

[Trog]

Dude deserved to be told off for his lack of consideration for everyone involved. What an ass. Get out of the damn bus and quit holding up traffic with your idle chatter every damn morning.

[onthetown]

You could leave earlier, considering you know that this will happen when you leave at the time that you do and yet you still continue to leave at that time.


Yeah but, he's not the only one inconvenienced, leaving five minutes early would probably just lead another person having the same confrontation, especially since the confronter has the moral high ground in this argument

So? Somebody in the world at some time is going to be inconvenienced. The poor guy just wants to get to class on time. If somebody else fights the school bus man, all the better as it means it's one less thing to get involved in (and one less reason to be late to class).

[Elder Tsofu]

@^ If none dare to approach him due to the potential time it will consume then none will tell him of, and he will continue to terrorize the public. Possibly for years.
Sometimes you must be "the one" to get anything done.

[onthetown]

My point was, if he leaves earlier then it won't be any worry of his whether or not school bus man is "terrorizing" the public.

[Elder Tsofu]

And mine was that sometimes you must man up for the best of the community...

[onthetown]

And mine was that sometimes you must man up for the best of the community...

I guess I'm just not really seeing what the big deal is, as I'm the kind of person that would just leave earlier and not bother getting stressed over it. Then again, I've never been part of a community that I would actually man up for.

[Elder Tsofu]

I hope you'll find one in the future. :smallsmile:

[Copacetic]

I guess I'm just not really seeing what the big deal is, as I'm the kind of person that would just leave earlier and not bother getting stressed over it. Then again, I've never been part of a community that I would actually man up for.

This is the point, I believe; You talk to to the driver or the parent not because it bothers you but because it bothers the line of cars behind you. Either way, the driver and the parent are at fault, particularly because of the law in your state.

[Sipex]

I guess I'm just not really seeing what the big deal is, as I'm the kind of person that would just leave earlier and not bother getting stressed over it. Then again, I've never been part of a community that I would actually man up for.

How about we just agree that the OP could leave earlier to avoid this situation but in doing so he should be aware that it won't do anything to allieve the situation for others if he cares.

[Helanna]

I don't see why he should have to leave early to get to class on time. If he doesn't want to get confrontational, sure, or if he doesn't really care about it, but the guy holding up traffic is in the wrong here. People shouldn't have to adjust their schedules around this guy being an ass.

[Sipex]

Oh yeah, I agree there.

[Hyudra]

Just putting this out there, but my first thought when reading the OP is that the father had a special needs child. It could be that the child is developmentally disabled and sensitive as a consequence, and thus needs to be calmed down before separating from dad, or that there's crucial information that needs to be exchanged between dad & the bus driver, or dad & a teacher on the bus.

[Sipex]

I dunno, it's a possibility but there are different buses for special needs children (thus the short bus jokes made by kids).

Unless things are different in the OPs situation.

Still, the father needs to be understanding that the OP has no idea that this is happening just as the OP would need to understand about the special needs which, at best, would put both of them in the wrong.

This is something that would need to be explored as those with special needs children seem to think they have the moral high ground at any time when something happens involving their kids.

For example

When I was 10 or 11 I had a summer camp sort of thing I went to. We basically did crafts and played games in the school gym with a couple of teenagers watching us.

One day one of the special needs girls gave me a big kiss, she apparently had a crush on me. I was 10 so I acted as expected which was shock and going "AUGH! GROSS!"

I, of course, got yelled at because I hurt the special needs girl's feelings. Nobody considered understanding it from my perspective simply because she had special needs.

The special needs part didn't factor into my decision to be disgusted either. I was 10.

[Hyudra]

This is something that would need to be explored as those with special needs children seem to think they have the moral high ground at any time when something happens involving their kids.

For example
...

That's the general sense I got of the father. That righteousness.

I had an experience like that too:
I was in second or third grade, and it was the first good snowfall of the season. Everyone rushed outside at recess, and a snowball fight started. A few minutes in, I threw a snowball at another girl, and the fun ended. A teacher dragged me off the playground and told me the girl I threw the snowball at was blind in one eye, and what if I had hit her in her good eye?

I had to wear an eyepatch in school for a week, "to know what it was like" and I wasn't allowed outside for recess for that same week. I remember being so infuriated, because I'd thought I was being nice, indirectly inviting the girl to play with the rest of us by getting her involved in the snowball fight.

Anyways, if the community is small, if the special needs classrooms are tied to the regular classrooms, or if the child has a disability that doesn't warrant the short bus but does warrant strict attention (say, needing vigilant medical care, such as attention to a colonostomy bag or a weak heart), it might account for a disabled child being on a regular school bus.

Or it could just be the dad is friends with the bus driver/an insensitive jerk.

[mangosta71]

EvilDM has a point. In the US (as in his native Wales), obstructing traffic is a ticketable offense. You could call the local police department and tell them that this situation develops every Friday morning at exactly whatever-time-it-is and they can put a patrol car there to get them moving.

[Evil DM Mark3]

EvilDM has a point. In the US (as in his native England), obstructing traffic is a ticketable offense.

I am not an Englishman. I live in and was born in Wales. Take care with this error in future, for there are few ways more guaranteed to raise the ancient ire of the Welsh, Scotts and Irish than calling them English.

[Imperial Psycho]

Go for British. It's the safe option. :smallbiggrin:

On topic: Yeah ,I would have done the same. Whatever his reasons, he shouldn't need to obstruct traffic EVERY DAY. If he did have a good reason, he should have explained it.

[RandomLunatic]

Could you...like...leave 5 minutes earlier? I mean that would negate the problem while avoiding confrontation, which is always my personal preference.
Probably. I certainly tried after the second or third occurance, and it became clear this was a regular event. Problem is, I am very much not a "morning person", so my efforts only suceeded about half the time. This is probaly why I managed to make until the last week of the semester before finally losing my patience.

Do they, how interesting!

OK, joking asside I think that you made the right call here, and that the advice to contact the people who run the school bus is good advice. After all what they are effectively allowing to happen is for this parent to be left for a protracted period with other people's children. Now the bus driver has been veted, but I bet the parent has not. I don't think that he might do anything, but he is being placed in a situation where he could. Also, I dont know about the US (where, by your language and use of terms, I assume you are from) but in the UK if a bus where parked in such a location for an extended period while not picking up or setting down (and it isn't because no one is actually trying to get on/off) and such a law about passing where in place the driver could be taken to court for Causing an Obstruction of The Queen's Highway. But above all be polite in your dealings. The only other thing I can think of is to either leave earlier or travel a different way to your class. A pain I know but at the end of the day you have to worry about your class and real life, not events as they should be.
I considered calling the cops, but could not convince myself that they were actually doing somethign illegal.

I was also pretty certain they would never follow up.


I definitely wouldn't have been as patient as you were, for as long as you did. That said, there ought to be no reason for it to be a hostile confrontation.

The first time he did this, I would just figure he was taking care of some urgent business, and wait for him. The second time, get out of the car, approach him, and just ask "Sir, you probably forgot about this, but other traffic can't pass this bus while it's stopped. Can you wrap up this conversation?" If he's a reasonable guy, then I'd expect him to say "Oops; yeah, I forgot." If he doesn't, tell the bus driver, "Please ask him to step off your bus so we can all start moving again."

If the driver also won't do anything, then I'd phone the school district and ask them to instruct their drivers not to hold long conversations with parents. If the district drags their feet, then escalate to the boss of whoever you talked to, then tp their boss...and all these people get another call each time it happens. If this doesn't help, then because I'm a stubborn bastard, I would also show up at school board meetings and write letters to the editor of local papers.

If the father didn't get over his sense of entitlement, then the district would end up instituting a policy on this. I really can't stand parents who think that because they have managed to reproduce (which isn't really much of an accomplishment[1]; most lifeforms manage it all the time with no specialized training), their kids take priority over everyone else.


[1] All right; from an evolutionary standpoint, it is the accomplishment. Still, dude, show some consideration.

Never thought of that. To the point that I never bothered to check for the district's name on the bus.

Meh. If he is still at it next semester, I will follow up.


I dunno, it's a possibility but there are different buses for special needs children (thus the short bus jokes made by kids).

Unless things are different in the OPs situation.

Still, the father needs to be understanding that the OP has no idea that this is happening just as the OP would need to understand about the special needs which, at best, would put both of them in the wrong.

This is something that would need to be explored as those with special needs children seem to think they have the moral high ground at any time when something happens involving their kids.

For example

When I was 10 or 11 I had a summer camp sort of thing I went to. We basically did crafts and played games in the school gym with a couple of teenagers watching us.

One day one of the special needs girls gave me a big kiss, she apparently had a crush on me. I was 10 so I acted as expected which was shock and going "AUGH! GROSS!"

I, of course, got yelled at because I hurt the special needs girl's feelings. Nobody considered understanding it from my perspective simply because she had special needs.

The special needs part didn't factor into my decision to be disgusted either. I was 10.
Funny you should mention that, because the bus in question is the horizontally challenged bus.

Still, I can see he is talking to the driver through the window, and I cannot imagine anything that would take that long that would need to be repeated every morning.

[mangosta71]

I am not an Englishman. I live in and was born in Wales. Take care with this error in future, for there are few ways more guaranteed to raise the ancient ire of the Welsh, Scotts and Irish than calling them English.

Noted and corrected. I understand their annoyance, being of Scottish/Irish descent myself.

[Kislath]

I don't see how leaving earlier would help. It's a BUS. He'd just get stuck behind it five minutes earlier and have to suffer all the more.

[Sipex]

I think the idea is he'd reach that highway before the school bus did and be able to avoid the incident altogether.

[Bhu]

If it makes you feel better RL, you were much nicer than me. I'd have told him to sod off or get run over by my car right before I threw his child into traffic.


I think I might recently have gained some anger management issues. :smalltongue: :smallwink:

[Om]

Some people need to relax. What is the point of getting worked up about a measly four minutes? It is really such a world-ending inconvenience for you - one that cannot possibly be worked around - for this guy to have a quick chat with a friend? Really, there's no need to get stressed over something so trivial. And don't get me started on the 'save the community!' or 'inform his boss!' comments. Perspective people, perspective


@^ If none dare to approach him due to the potential time it will consume then none will tell him of, and he will continue to terrorize the public. Possibly for yearsI sincerely hope that this is sarcasm

[Sipex]

I think, in the end, this was just to blow off some steam which is healthy.

Some people can't help getting worked up about certain things. That said, I often take your side here when I see people raging about something so insignificant to me (like MSN or Facebook changes).

So, what I guess I'm saying is, I need to understand this too. People sometimes just need to rant. It's healthy. Even if we don't particularily agree it helps vent out pent up aggression in a way which won't harm anyone.

[mangosta71]

Some people need to relax. What is the point of getting worked up about a measly four minutes?
If those 4 minutes are the difference between getting to class/work on time and getting there late, with ensuing disciplinary measures taken? "Yeah, I'm gonna get fired, but that's okay! It would be rude to do something to correct someone else's inconsiderate behavior."

Seriously, if they're friends, and they want to chat, they can swap telephone numbers. Or the bus driver can pull off the side of the road and turn his lights off so that traffic can go by.

[Om]

I think, in the end, this was just to blow off some steam which is healthyAnd that is fair enough... even if I'd encourage such people not to get knocked off track by such a tiny matter. What does get me though are the comments in response, some of which really are quite ludicrous and/or legalistic


If those 4 minutes are the difference between getting to class/work on time and getting there late, with ensuing disciplinary measures taken? "Yeah, I'm gonna get fired, but that's okay! It would be rude to do something to correct someone else's inconsiderate behavior."The obvious answer, as has already been suggested, is to leave earlier in order to miss the bus. An exceptionally small adjustment in order to avoid an exceptionally small inconvenience. Frankly, if the scenario is half as serious as you suggest then being early is the smart move anyway

But then its not that serious and its not a case of being fired. Its a matter of being a minute or two late for class. Yet people are proposing calling the cops or school over this? I don't know about the US but if I called the guards over such a petty matter then they'd simply laugh at me. And they'd be perfectly correct to do so

[weeping eagle]

I'm the kind of person that would just leave earlier and not bother getting stressed over it.... and that's the crux. By default (not actively trying to change ourselves), we go with the least stressful option. You may find avoidance the least stressful option, and others find confrontation so. Different strokes.

The "confrontation benefits community" argument is good but this isn't a terribly important problem. Leaving it for someone who confronts early and often is fine.

[mangosta71]

But then its not that serious and its not a case of being fired. Its a matter of being a minute or two late for class. Yet people are proposing calling the cops or school over this? I don't know about the US but if I called the guards over such a petty matter then they'd simply laugh at me. And they'd be perfectly correct to do so

They're suggesting calling the cops because the behavior is illegal. They're suggesting calling the school board because the behavior is unprofessional and potentially putting children at risk. Why is that unreasonable? And why should someone that's in the right be forced to change his habits to accommodate someone that's in the wrong?

[Om]

They're suggesting calling the cops because the behavior is illegal. They're suggesting calling the school board because the behavior is unprofessional and potentially putting children at risk. Why is that unreasonable?And this is what I find to be truly bizarre - this need to escalate a tiny four minute inconvenience into something much greater than a simple roadside chat. Suddenly we're dealing with a dangerous criminal "putting children at risk" who must be tackled for the good of the community. What's missing here? Oh yeah, perspective

Really, don't people here have bigger concerns in their lives? Does everyone really have to don a cape or complain to some official about every last little bother, no matter how small or trivial? To be honest, part of me hopes that the OP does call the cops or the school authorities because these are real people with real priorities who, I would imagine, would quickly strip him of any illusions as to the scale of this issue


And why should someone that's in the right be forced to change his habits to accommodate someone that's in the wrong?The OP is not being forced to do anything: he can simply sit is his car and hum for four minutes if he so chooses. Alternatively he could adjust, rather than expecting the rest of the world to somehow shape itself around him

[Elder Tsofu]

Om, I think you miss the fact that this isn't a 4 minute one time happening. It is according to the OP an probably almost daily occurrence that have been going on for considerable time.

If none stands up and says "this is wrong" then nothing will change and in the end, the German tanks will roll down your street. (because why bother?)

I'm just tired of letting bastards be bastards, just because they're bastards.

[RandomLunatic]

And this is what I find to be truly bizarre - this need to escalate a tiny four minute inconvenience into something much greater than a simple roadside chat. Suddenly we're dealing with a dangerous criminal "putting children at risk" who must be tackled for the good of the community. What's missing here? Oh yeah, perspective

Really, don't people here have bigger concerns in their lives? Does everyone really have to don a cape or complain to some official about every last little bother, no matter how small or trivial? To be honest, part of me hopes that the OP does call the cops or the school authorities because these are real people with real priorities who, I would imagine, would quickly strip him of any illusions as to the scale of this issue

The OP is not being forced to do anything: he can simply sit is his car and hum for four minutes if he so chooses. Alternatively he could adjust, rather than expecting the rest of the world to somehow shape itself around him


Some people need to relax. What is the point of getting worked up about a measly four minutes? It is really such a world-ending inconvenience for you - one that cannot possibly be worked around - for this guy to have a quick chat with a friend? Really, there's no need to get stressed over something so trivial. And don't get me started on the 'save the community!' or 'inform his boss!' comments. Perspective people, perspective

It is important because my instructor docks a full letter grade for every full absence past the second, with tardies counting as half. "Tardies" being code for "not having your bum planted in a seat at 8:05 AM".

So the point is this jerk is torpedoing my GPA so he can have a chat in the middle of a public road with his friend.

And, might I add, with absolutely no remorse, either. Remember when I provided the general gist of the argument in the OP? Here, have an actual excerpt.

Jerk: Is there a problem?
Me: Some of us are trying to keep schedules here, and you guys are kinda blocking the road.
Jerk: That's not my problem.
Me: You ARE the *self-scrubbed* problem!

[Helanna]

The OP is not being forced to do anything: he can simply sit is his car and hum for four minutes if he so chooses. Alternatively he could adjust, rather than expecting the rest of the world to somehow shape itself around him

Yeah, he is. He - as well as EVERYONE that needs to be on that road at the time - is being forced to either be late or wrap their entire schedules around this one guy. Sure, four or five minutes isn't much (although actually you might have to leave a lot earlier than that to miss the bus entirely), but it's that last five minutes of sleep, or the difference between remembering to grab your lunch or purse (which could certainly be the difference between having a great day or a horrible day). At the very least, why should someone have to change their schedule because some other guy is being a jerk?

And it's not 'expecting the world to shape around him' to expect this one guy not to be a total ******* to everyone around him. In fact, you're the one suggesting that the entire world should just shape itself around this one guy so he can have a chat!

[weeping eagle]

If none stands up and says "this is wrong" then nothing will change and in the end, the German tanks will roll down your street. (because why bother?)Oh, totally. It's like, I always correct when my friends when they make grammar or spelling mistakes - no matter how minor - because if I don't, not only will they eventually be illiterate morons, they'll also drag everyone they come into contact with down to the same level.

Or, well, I used to when I still had friends, at least.

[Drascin]

The OP is not being forced to do anything: he can simply sit is his car and hum for four minutes if he so chooses. Alternatively he could adjust, rather than expecting the rest of the world to somehow shape itself around him

But by the same token, why should everyone else somehow shape themselves (changing their schedules simply because of him) around the guy in question? There's a lot of people being a bit inconvenienced here for the small benefit of a single person. In such cases, the polite option would be not forcing people to stay there with their cars turned on and eating gas until you decide to finish.

Is it worth getting hugely worked up? No.

Is the man in question being amazingly discourteous? Yes, and should probably be told as such.

[Teddy]

And this is what I find to be truly bizarre - this need to escalate a tiny four minute inconvenience into something much greater than a simple roadside chat. Suddenly we're dealing with a dangerous criminal "putting children at risk" who must be tackled for the good of the community. What's missing here? Oh yeah, perspective

(Emphasis mine) I think you're missing a point here. This isn't a simple roadside chat, this is a simple chat in the middle of the road. Consider this scenario:

You are drivin along a main road when, suddenly, two men (or women for that matter) go out in the middle of the road and start chatting to each other, completely ignoring the line of cars (including yours) that can't pass them. Would you sit there for 4 minutes without doing anything at all? Most drivers would have honked way before that.

Now, if this repeats pretty much every single day during several weeks, would it be you who was inconsiderate if you finally lost you patience and honked at them? Would it be your fault that you were late just because you weren't able of getting away earlier in the morning as you're not a morning person? Should these two men be allowed to continue like that every morning?

To me, I can't see how these two men being on a bus would change anything.

[Daimbert]

It is important because my instructor docks a full letter grade for every full absence past the second, with tardies counting as half. "Tardies" being code for "not having your bum planted in a seat at 8:05 AM".

So the point is this jerk is torpedoing my GPA so he can have a chat in the middle of a public road with his friend.

Well, while he shouldn't cause the delay ... you still have a problem. A problem that any 4 or 5 minute delay risks you getting your GPA torpedoed. If it's that stringent, you really, really should get up and out earlier, just in case you run into other delays that might cause issues. And if you aren't a morning person, well, you'll still have to learn.

Now, I'm excessive about this, but I plan delays into my scheduling and so ensure that I get places on time. I had an 8:30 am class last year, and made it into campus by about 7 am. Why? Because if it took me about an hour in light traffic, and if I left at 7 I would have had no time for things to go wrong, and the traffic would have been worse and so it might have taken me longer.

I don't suggest you be as insane about this as I am, but you do need to take potential delays into account if it's that important.

[Popertop]

Oh, totally. It's like, I always correct when my friends when they make grammar or spelling mistakes - no matter how minor - because if I don't, not only will they eventually be illiterate morons, they'll also drag everyone they come into contact with down to the same level.

Or, well, I used to when I still had friends, at least.

Good riddance I say. Who needs illiterate boors around anyway?

[Sipex]

Good riddance I say. Who needs illiterate boors around anyway?

You two are joking, right?

Sorry, this thing is hard to identify over the internet sometimes.

[Quincunx]

You two are joking, right?

Sorry, this thing is hard to identify over the internet sometimes.

It would have been a flag that it was OK to laugh had a grammar or spelling mistake been present in the post. (The author(s) might not have wanted you to laugh if it was an unconscious error, but you'd still have the right to.)

[Evil DM Mark3]

Oh, totally. It's like, I always correct when my friends when they make grammar or spelling mistakes - no matter how minor - because if I don't, not only will they eventually be illiterate morons, they'll also drag everyone they come into contact with down to the same level.

Or, well, I used to when I still had friends, at least.No, because that is a deliberately unfair and flawed analogy. The principle behind one is that a man is causing a potential road hazard and also a potential child protection issue. The other is a minor irritation that, in most cases, harms no one (at worst you can end up confusing people). It may be minor, it may be petty, but it IS hurting others, and why should you have to change what you are doing because another person is in the wrong and expects the world to alter itself around them.

[MountainKing]

To further discredit the "It's a simple road-side chat" argument, it should also probably be pointed out that, this isn't just a regular road, either. It's a secondary highway, which at least in the US I believe is automatically two lanes each way. This bus driver is delaying two lanes of traffic for his little chat.

My only question is, if it's a special needs child, IS the parent going on the bus because of conversation, or are they going on the bus to take care of the child's needs? I'd say that'd be a mite difficult to ascertain from behind the bus, wouldn't it?

[Mewtarthio]

My only question is, if it's a special needs child, IS the parent going on the bus because of conversation, or are they going on the bus to take care of the child's needs? I'd say that'd be a mite difficult to ascertain from behind the bus, wouldn't it?

If that's the case, the parent should have explained himself when the OP confronted him.

[MountainKing]

If that's the case, the parent should have explained himself when the OP confronted him.

A fair play, though I can also see the parent not wanting to justify themselves if that were indeed the case. Having a child with special needs is a fairly trying time, and it can be somewhat difficult to talk about, particularly with complete strangers. I can see both sides, and both are likely, if either are to be the case.

[Salbazier]

Disregarding whether or not the OP did was okay, what the father did is certainly not okay.

Maybe his kid really have some trouble everyday and his manner in confronting the OP is because he is stressed. That did not make it okay to put a whole highways in a jam and refusing to apologize when someone complains.

For me, I certainly can sympathize and considerate to his child need, if he explained himself properly. If you don't explain your reason to bother people, how can others be considerate to you?

[Dvandemon]

^:You are correct sir, even if one has a kid with special needs, one should at least try to remain considerate. Your kid got special needs? That's fine, but I don't know that, let me repeat, I DO NOT KNOW THAT, so if you're going to apathetically hold up traffic every morning (which seems unlikely if he's giving instructions: why would they need repeating?) at least prepare a statement for anyone annoyed enough to actually confront you over this.


Some people need to relax. What is the point of getting worked up about a measly four minutes? It is really such a world-ending inconvenience for you - one that cannot possibly be worked around - for this guy to have a quick chat with a friend? Really, there's no need to get stressed over something so trivial. And don't get me started on the 'save the community!' or 'inform his boss!' comments. Perspective people, perspective

Your omitting crucial details. It's a regular occurrence and therefore no longer trivial, the OP is obviously very upset over this (which must mean it's an important problem).

...

To all those who say just leave early, that doesn't fix the problem, at least, not for all the others, it's just going to fall to more people to confront this person both in the wrong and acting quite rude.

[RandomNPC]

I get behind a special needs bus on my way home from work. It takes two minuets tops, and the kid has to roll uphill in a motorized wheelchair to get far enough away from the bus for the bus to leave. Yes, a parent is there, words are exchanged with the driver, and the elevator on the side of the bus is even tucked back onto the bus by the parent. Two minuets.

If the kid has that bad of a problem a special needs van would pull into the driveway and get him. The bus driver is trained for daily pickups and needs, in short the bus is for kids who can get on and go, any nessecary prolonged discussion would take part at the house as a van picked the kid up.

As for trying to pass the bus, I passed a bus with no lights on, that was pulled to the side of the road, and I still got a ticket. I don't know how the lights weren't active, when I rode they turned on the second the door opened, but as I passed the front of the bus I saw a kid hop off. Just to reiterate, no lights, pulled over, no sign of dropping kids off. Traffic ticket.

So yes, the dad is being a dink, and needs hit with a fish.

[The Big Dice]

I am not an Englishman. I live in and was born in Wales. Take care with this error in future, for there are few ways more guaranteed to raise the ancient ire of the Welsh, Scotts and Irish than calling them English.

As a Welshman myself, I have to agree. Nothing gets the hackles of the Celtic nations to stand up more than calling us English.

As for the OP's quandry. Wow, you're patient.

A question, do the school buses in your state have a phone number on the back of them? So people can contact the company that provides the service, or report bad driving. If they do, it might be worth giving them a call while you're sat behind the obstruction. If the driver gets words from his/her boos about the subject, things could change.