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mootoall
2010-12-23, 07:15 PM
As is an antimagic field and a few beams of scorching death.

Anyone else have some nice D&D puns? I've seen the Giant's incentive comics, but what else does the Playground have to offer?

Assassin89
2010-12-23, 07:39 PM
Creatures with collapsed arches always lose their dexterity bonus to AC and cannot make attacks of opportunity. Why? They're flat-footed.

mootoall
2010-12-23, 10:13 PM
Creatures with collapsed arches always lose their dexterity bonus to AC and cannot make attacks of opportunity. Why? They're flat-footed. Badum-Ching! Why was the fighter with custom Boots of Fire Breathing so slow? He was dragon his feet!

The Glyphstone
2010-12-23, 10:14 PM
Why should you never upset a cleric of Garl Glittergold? Because he will show you gnome mercy.

Dimers
2010-12-23, 10:19 PM
*snort* From what I've seen on this forum, it's dangerous to partake of something RAW. Better that it be (Monte) Cooked.

mootoall
2010-12-23, 10:35 PM
{Scrubbed}

T.G. Oskar
2010-12-23, 10:45 PM
When is a Beguiler even more of a Beguiler?

When he's a Beguiler Beguiler! Don't you love when the devs recycle ideas?

Will we see Bear puns? Or better, Fistbeard Beardfist puns? I...have no idea on what else to do aside from the upper one...

Serpentine
2010-12-23, 10:55 PM
OH MY GOD I was just thinking of starting a thread along these lines. Mostly because I've had this one kicking around my head for ages:

Why did the stone giant's wife leave him?
Because he took her for granite.

:biggrin:

AtopTheMountain
2010-12-23, 10:58 PM
OH MY GOD I was just thinking of starting a thread along these lines. Mostly because I've had this one kicking around my head for ages:

Why did the stone giant's wife leave him?
Because he took her for granite.

:biggrin:

He turned her into stone? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakenForGranite) :smalleek:

T.G. Oskar
2010-12-23, 11:04 PM
Oi, I'm such a dunce! I have a good one; more smile than laughter, but hey, it's something!

Adamantine: The source of this rare metal (or is it compound?) is a mystery. Some say it's a damning metal, others that it's a material gotten from Adam ants (apparently Formians) and others claim it is a metal only given to successful males (because it's a "da man" tine, you see...)

Mithral: definitely a mythical substance. I mean, it has "myth" (albeit with minor grammatical differences) right on the name! It's also the material from which ecclesiastical miters are done with.

Cold Iron: this is iron, but cold. Just how cold? Ice cold? All we know is that it ain't hot, or else it would be hot iron. Cold iron loses its properties when subject to heat metal; hence, you create cold iron by taking any iron weapon and casting chill metal at it. Hey...maybe that's it? It's a weapon that has chill metal cast on it?

Which begs the answer to this question: what is cold iron? Iron under the effect of chill metal, of course!

Ironwood: a mythical material, part iron and part wood, perfect for golf drivers (since you get the properties of a wood and an iron). Increases the successes of birdies and eagles.

hotel_papa
2010-12-23, 11:25 PM
Those actually hurt me. Inside.

Dimers
2010-12-23, 11:58 PM
ncreases the successes of birdies and eagles.

So, still something only druids would be interested in? :smallwink:

Grommen
2010-12-24, 01:02 AM
Next time someone asks you how many feats their character is supposed to have at Level X... Just tell them only two. :smallbiggrin:

So if your buddy does not want to go adventuring with you today. Can it be said that he lost the initiative?

AsteriskAmp
2010-12-24, 01:31 AM
The Construction Handbook for Wizards

The key for the successful production of constructs is reading the instructions correctly. As such, one is to give proper care to every step, from the reading of the desired result, a vital step which makes a great difference in the result, since one would be producing the wrong product if read wrong. This can be demonstrated through the following example:

-A FLESH GOLEM is: A ghoulish collection of stolen humanoid body parts, stitched together into a single composite form. No natural animal willingly tracks a flesh golem.

-A FRESH GOLEM is: A ghoulish collection of FRESH fruits, produce and tofu, magically joined together into a single composite non-salad, form. Natural animals search for fresh golems since they are a source of nourishment. A fresh golem lifespan can be prolonged by placing it on a fridge.


The complete guide can be yours for 1gp and 50XP.
Now available in your nearest supermarket, also look for it's sister publication, FRESH GOLEM'S a cooking guide to your favorite constructs.



What does a ghost do upon waking up?

Ethereal Yawn

What does a economist do on the Astral Plane?

Astral Projections

Why is a cleric needed when Ships travel to another dimension?

To be able to Dimensionaly Anchor

How does a cleric change his boarding pass?

Plane Shift

Tell me why the Cleric 's crying?

To find the BBEG

Why did the Barbarian took Snowflake Wardancer

It sounded Cool

What do you call a Fake Warforged

Warforgery

What do you call a Psion 20 with ranks in alchemy?

Fullmental Alchemist

What do you call an optimized building?

Cottage

Roderick_BR
2010-12-24, 06:48 AM
My two classic (one variation from the OP).

That sword may not be beautiful, but it's in the eye of the Beholder.

How many clerics you need to change a lightbulb? Only one, to cast "Cure Light".