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AugustNights
2010-12-26, 11:50 AM
So, I'm compiling a list of interesting improvised weapons, and I was hoping that the playground wouldn't mind helping me by sharing some of the more interesting item's ya'll have used as an improvised weapon.
Doesn't really matter what setting or roleplaying game, what I'm interested in is interesting items, stories, and ideas.

Thanks!

Enix18
2010-12-26, 11:56 AM
I once had a player whose Monk fought with a pillow. I believe it was the Drunken Master PrC that allowed him to deal his normal unarmed damage with an improvised weapon, which was particularly insane when he had greater mighty wallop cast on him. A pillow dealing something like 8d8 damage is just absurd...

Dragon Elite
2010-12-26, 11:56 AM
A kobold, pixie, or gold coin doused in oil lit on fire.

The "lit on fire" part applies to all of them.

Hanuman
2010-12-26, 11:58 AM
So, I'm compiling a list of interesting improvised weapons, and I was hoping that the playground wouldn't mind helping me by sharing some of the more interesting item's ya'll have used as an improvised weapon.
Doesn't really matter what setting or roleplaying game, what I'm interested in is interesting items, stories, and ideas.

Thanks!
Drunk master uses a cloth strip as an imp. weapon in his picture (using chin na to break a bone by locking a joint then forcing it, I assume).

In that respect, you could use any tether-like object, including bandages, scarves, rope, fishing line, twine, candle wick, ect.

Anything you wear is generally a good bet, if you have a steel flask on a strap or a dangerous looking waterskin then that works well.

As for inventive? Use adventuring gear you normally carry around, or make the weapon a tool from the adventurer's old profession skill.

Lateral
2010-12-26, 12:00 PM
I smashed a holy symbol across a vampire's face once.

Enix18
2010-12-26, 12:01 PM
A kobold, pixie, or gold coin doused in oil lit on fire.

The "lit on fire" part applies to all of them.

He's right, Kobolds do make pretty good weapons. A party I was with once killed a higher level Wizard by using the Kobold PC as a projectile. The impact was strong enough to basically shatter both of their skeletal systems (I can't remember how we got him flying that fast, though).

Dragon Elite
2010-12-26, 12:02 PM
He's right, Kobolds do make pretty good weapons. I party I was with once killed a higher level Wizard by using the Kobold PC as a projectile. The impact was strong enough to basically shatter both of their skeletal systems (I can't remember how we got him flying that fast, though).
Commoner railgun?

Grommen
2010-12-26, 12:08 PM
Door Knob.

The party's bard was peeking thought the key hole when he noticed a wizard leveling his wand of Lightning at said door.

Too slow to avoid the blast, the bard ended up several feet across the floor, splinters and all, holding onto the door knob. It was the only thing left of the door after all, and a very angry wizard loomed over top him.

Undaunted he pitched the knob at the wizard, who was warming up yet another mighty blast of his wand, scored a critical hit knocking the wizard out cold.

We then raided the room, stole the wand, and made good our escape.

Shortly after, with his cut of the proceeds, "Jack the Dashing" purchased a magical sack of Door Knobs. Stating that they were the most powerful objects in the universe.

Who am I to argue, they laid low the most powerful thing in 3rd edition in one blow.

Zigg'rrauglurr
2010-12-26, 12:09 PM
I'll just repeat the battle cry of one of my partners in a a party (Translated from spanish):

"COOKIE SWORD!!!"

(Original: "Espadas de galleta!!!")

Story: Ragtag band (as usual) of Dnd 2nd, one of us had "cook" as secondary knowledge, and promptly botched an attempt to make "cookies" a la "Lembas bread" with a confirmed botch after the first one. (We played with confirmed botches and criticals) The DM ruled that the cookies had the hardness of steel.

BTW the chronicle had the rather ominous title of "Vorpal Chronicles"... Yap you guessed it, vorpal swords appearing everywhere. this obviously led to...

VORPAL COOKIE SWORD!!!

As a side note, this team is famous for phrases like "Can't you see i'm invisible?" or "I'm sorry but your parents survived"

Just_Ice
2010-12-26, 01:18 PM
Grandfather clock was the norm

arguskos
2010-12-26, 01:27 PM
The Pain Train, also called the Man Train. This bears some explanation. Here's the cliffnotes of the event:

-Party (level 1) is attacking a cult of strange spellcasters (Binders, Shadowcasters, Hexblades, Debasers [homebrew class on this forum, by Temotei], led by a Death Master). First room holds a few Hexblades and a pair of Binders. Party wins handily, due to them being stupid.
-Quick recon shows the next room has like 5 guys in it, including a Binder of Savnok (which they all freaked out about, cause I showed them the picture of Savnok and said "pretty much that"). They decided to use all the weapons from the guys in the first room, lash them to a table (mostly spears and swords), and charge down the hallway into the next room, using the newly-christened "Pain Train" as a battering ram to crush a guy.
-The Binder of Savnok was unfortunately first up. I gave the Pain Train (an ingenious idea, after all) the stats of a bull rush, but instead of distance, it dealt damage (don't recall the set up, now). The poor Savnok binder didn't do well on his check, and ended up getting crushed by the Pain Train.

The Pain Train is now fondly remembered by the players in that campaign.

RandomLunatic
2010-12-26, 01:33 PM
My Enlarged monk once used the BBEG (Hobgoblin Lich Dread Necromancer) to club a troll zombie...

While the zombied was ddestroyed, the BBEG unfortunately got better (see "lich").

Claudius Maximus
2010-12-26, 01:36 PM
Sharkmitt.

In an undersea battle against sahuagin and their pet sharks, the barbarian killed a shark with a critical hit from his greatsword, which I said beheaded it.

The party's drunken master was growing tired of the penalties from using a blunt weapon (his unarmed strike) and sought an improvised piercing weapon, and due to the scarcity of materials at the seafloor, resorted to scooping out the shark's head and using it like a puppet to chomp things with his hand.

Cealocanth
2010-12-26, 01:45 PM
Well, let's see. I have a mutant monster that fights with a scorpion-like stinger at the end of a barbed tentacle in place of his arm. I have a monster of the same type that launches spore filled blisters at the PCs then manipulates the spores like nanobots to shut down their nervous system. I have a boss of the same type that dual wields blades made out of radioactive crystal that irradiates on contact.

As for PCs? I don't know. We have a homunculus that can create enough fire to light a lantern once per encounter, and the player in charge of this thing used it to kill a black dragon.

Yukitsu
2010-12-26, 01:53 PM
Had one character use paper airplanes, would throw himself (like, baseball pitch himself) at enemies as a ranged attack, and once threw a bottle of ethics at an amorphous blob.

AnswersQuestion
2010-12-26, 01:56 PM
D&D
Weapon: Improvised maul made of corpses and spit
Context: Group was being swarmed by ghouls when the then huge-sized psion with Craft(Weapon) decided to "mash a bunch of them together and glue them into a mace".
---------------
Exalted
Weapon: the giant's hand
Context: Infernal was held in a grapple with a giant, and used Malfeas Excellency with a 2-die stunt to assume control of the grapple and damage the giant.
"I channel excellency and shove my daiklave through his wrist to brace and open his hand, then I swing the stuck daiklave against his face."
---------------
Exalted
Weapon: Pre-asskicking One-liner
Context: Sidereal with Generalized Ammunition Technique used a 1-die stunt to transform "Not under my watch, scum" into an arrow and shoot it on his target's leg.

Masaioh
2010-12-26, 02:11 PM
A war banner, either as some sort of polearm or a greataxe. My group has also come up with the "angry dwarf launcher", which is essentially a halfway point between a crossbow and a ballista.

Christopher K.
2010-12-26, 02:40 PM
A canopic jar in D&D Encounters. I smashed it over a boss monster's head after we wound up looting a tomb.

Also, in that same tomb I threw a skull at one of the guardians there.

Raum
2010-12-26, 03:31 PM
A fence post, the fence itself (chain link makes a decent net), a nearby boulder, which soon became smaller rocks for throwing, a small tree, and a fire hydrant. (Supers games use the scenery a lot. :) )

Kalaska'Agathas
2010-12-26, 03:43 PM
My epic level Master of the Unseen Hand once (actually, twice) used cranes as improvised weapons. Not birds, mind you, but cranes which were used for loading/unloading ships in a shipyard.

Radar
2010-12-26, 03:47 PM
Drunk master uses a cloth strip as an imp. weapon in his picture (using chin na to break a bone by locking a joint then forcing it, I assume). (...)
And it looks awesome (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpUiRvJdn1Y).

Apart from that, a frying pan is an obvious choice and so are chairs, stool, benches or tables (if you can handle that one). Fancy forks, spoons and other kitchen implements. Toothpicks are often mentioned next to overcompetent assassins.

Xefas
2010-12-26, 03:57 PM
A Night-Caste pirate that was in the process of losing a naval engagement. His boat's guns and mast had been damaged, and the Dynast flagship came alongside to board. The Dragonblood captain shouted from across the gap between the two ships, something like "Relinquish your vessel peaceably!", to which the Night Caste replied "You want my ship?" as he activated Strength Increasing Exercise. "Then take it." With an application of Third Athletics Excellency, he proceeded to reach down and pick up the boat he was standing on and club the Dragonblood captain over the head with it, knocking him unconscious. I think there was a moment of stunned silence followed by a Valor check for the opposing forces, who summarily routed.

I think via the Feats of Strength rules, his boat's Improvised Weapon stats were like Speed 5, -3 Accuracy, 40B piercing damage.

Kife
2010-12-26, 03:57 PM
The most interested improvised weapon I've ever seen used was my character.

In a nasty encounter with rust monsters and a gorgon I became petrified and the barbarian's great axe was turned into a pile of sparkly brown powder. So what did he do? Pick up my petrified butt and critted the gorgon.

However the GM, in typical fashion, tempered the awesome by ruling that the blow shattered me into a few hundred pieces. However he was cool enough to insist that everyone chip in to return me to normal and then raise me. However the wizard used stone shape to make a copy of me out of marble... just in case Kilgore needed to smash more rust monsters.

Schylerwalker
2010-12-26, 04:05 PM
Darkwood rowboat.

Was later enchanted to be throwing and returning. I would put the party's rogue into the rowboat and throw it, so we had a kind of extendable boxing glove effect.

Jack DeCoeur
2010-12-26, 04:52 PM
I once read a story online (which I can't for the life of me find now) about a fairly high level party fighting a nasty beasty with a DR/lawful so high that without lawfully aligned weapons they were barely scratching it.

The parties dwarf cleric hadn't prepared any Align Weapon spells that day and they were getting hammered. That is until the Drunken Master has an epiphany.

Druken Master to Cleric: You worship Heironeious, right?
Cleric: Eye, what of if?
Drunken Master: So you alignment would be..?
Cleric: Lawful Good...
Drunken Master (smiling): Well, well. Looks like we've got a lawfully aligned weapon after all.

Proceeds to beat nasty beasty to death with the Cleric using his Improvised Weapon class feature, overcoming it's /Lawful damage reduction with ease.

I wish I could find where this was originally posted, it's a good read.

Zigg'rrauglurr
2010-12-26, 07:42 PM
The Pain Train ...

This, this is what NPC nightmares are made of... :smallamused: Excellent idea!!

arguskos
2010-12-26, 08:11 PM
This, this is what NPC nightmares are made of... :smallamused: Excellent idea!!
Yeah, a little later on, an escaped member of said cult was confronted by the PCs, and broke down gibbering in fear because one of them mentioned getting a table and smacking him with it. I like to reward PCs for such stunts with in-game references.

Doomboy911
2010-12-26, 08:18 PM
The warforged barbarian refuses to believe the druid is are useless they make great throwing weapons.

Shinizak
2010-12-26, 08:58 PM
I once killed a spider and wielded the spider as an improvised weapon against a flanked lizard folk who was facing away from me. In game I described it as a lizard folk/ spider turducken, if you don't know what a turducken is then I suggest you look it up and use your imagination. In my defense it attacked me first, and I had thirty minutes to kill while being revived. So I looked up how to shove a spider corpse up a lizard folk's butt.

Amiel
2010-12-26, 09:23 PM
You should be able to wield a person humanoid against other creatures.

Likewise with a cow.


A barstool.
A belt (for all the naughty children).
A hedgerow or pot plant.

Admiral Squish
2010-12-26, 09:25 PM
Once, there was a fight in the galley of an airship I gave my players. The cook had a thing for deep fried everything, so the ranger grabbed one of the boiling oil pans and dumped it on the baddie.

Hanuman
2010-12-27, 05:24 AM
Commoner railgun?
No. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Railgun)


And it looks awesome (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpUiRvJdn1Y).
I one temporary blinded my martial arts teacher with a wet towel... but I had 2 of them and I have thousands of hours in TWF w/ tether/soft chinese weapons.

FelixG
2010-12-27, 06:11 AM
attach two gnomes by their hair to a length of chain, Gnomechucks!

also strap a third gnome you your other arm and use him as a buckler!

Weasel of Doom
2010-12-27, 07:36 AM
My druid in ape form wielded the party rogue as a weapon after we got tired of his chaotic stupid antics. If hurled down the suspicious corridor he also served much the same trap-handling role.

Pyrite
2010-12-27, 07:53 AM
In pathfinder, I had a water elemental bloodline sorceress who lived on a raft on the river and made her living primarily as a fisher woman. I had fairly sparse equipment, mostly consisting of my spear, backpack, bedroll, and fishing net. In an introductory adventure for the game, we faced a sort of demon-pixie who loved to go invisible, fire off a spell at us, then return to invisibility. I cast mage hand and brought my net out of my backpack, waiting for her to turn visible again, at which point I threw it at her, using mage hand to keep it open. Another PC, a monk with the improvised weapon feat, had been using his grappling hook as an enormous reach weapon, and I managed to mage hand the ends of the net around the hook, allowing him to swing the pixie around and slam her into several walls.

By the time she cut her way out she was not happy.

some guy
2010-12-27, 10:36 AM
When one of my players played for the first time, she used her badger as a ranged weapon against an harpy.

Radar
2010-12-27, 11:19 AM
When one of my players played for the first time, she used her badger as a ranged weapon against an harpy.
Get him Francis! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KqjOGdOMtA)

I one temporary blinded my martial arts teacher with a wet towel... but I had 2 of them and I have thousands of hours in TWF w/ tether/soft chinese weapons.
Not to self: never ever slight a martial artist in a sauna or a swimming pool... or any other place, where he can grab a towel or anything soft and inconspicuous. :smalleek:

AnswersQuestion
2010-12-27, 11:21 AM
Not to self: never ever slight a martial artist in a sauna or a swimming pool... or any other place, where he can grab a towel or anything soft and inconspicuous. :smalleek:Which means just about anywhere. His hands are not soft, and your own innocent flesh is very soft and sometimes inconspicuous.

AtomicKitKat
2010-12-27, 02:01 PM
Never managed to get a party together, but from Savage Species, the description for the "Area Attack" feat involves smashing a door on top of people. It's also pretty classic "Angry Giant" trope from both the big and small screens.:smallbiggrin:

Magesmiley
2010-12-27, 02:11 PM
I think the oddest one for me was when I had a hill giant lob a sheep at the players (he'd run out of rocks). To add insult to injury, I managed to knock the party's sorcerer unconscious with it.

Necroticplague
2010-12-27, 10:36 PM
I once had a hulking hurler who used himself as an improvised range throwing weapon after throwing the rest of with allies across a pit at the protean.

Fayd
2010-12-27, 10:59 PM
A cult of a Demon Prince's High Priest.

Thrice.

The first time, my character threw him into the lesser of two BBEG, knocking him over and simultaneously stopping the high priest from sacrificing the region's leader and summoning a bunch of demons and the demon prince to the material plane. Not bad. The BBEG had some epic DR, so it only really hurt the high priest

The second time, the high priest had detangled himself from the BBEG, so I threw him at him with wind magic again, knocking them both down again.

The third time, the high priest got back up, and the Large-sized orc barbarian bullrushed him. The poor high priest flew through the air from the impact and hit the BBEG in the face... and got bisected from the impact damage.

grimbold
2010-12-28, 03:59 AM
cats (especially when dual wielded) make a very effective weapon for people with high DR (otherwise the cat scratches you to death)

Hanuman
2010-12-28, 07:18 AM
Not to self: never ever slight a martial artist in a sauna or a swimming pool... or any other place, where he can grab a towel or anything soft and inconspicuous. :smalleek:
See: Horsehair Whip

drakir_nosslin
2010-12-28, 07:56 AM
In the first game that I DM:d the players found a dead dwarf at a trap. He had been cut in half at the waist, so the barbarian promptly picked up the upper half and proceeded to lay waste to the kobolds in the tunnels by throwing the dwarf (whom he baptized in beer 'I name you: Flyer!'), knocking several of them prone and then charging those still standing.

Another classic is smashing a window and then using the pieces as improvised shuriken, like bullseye (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKvlDD43PPQ&feature=related) (forward until 2:40-ish).

Amiel
2010-12-28, 08:09 AM
cats (especially when dual wielded) make a very effective weapon for people with high DR (otherwise the cat scratches you to death)

Also against commoners.

Kobold-Bard
2010-12-28, 08:10 AM
4x4 bumper. It was a d20 Modern zombie movie scenario, and my guy (Hugh Mungus) had been caught short in an alley once before having ran out of bullets. So he swore never again an took to smashing them with a car bumper instead.

AugustNights
2010-12-28, 08:42 AM
Great idea's yall.

So it is clear I need rules for wielding
'body of a creature of X size' (living or not)
and rules for the "rope stick".
Except... that's much more of an exotic weapon than an improvised weapon in my mind. It's not like Mad Dog (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZvqi1aF-iY) is going to pick up a bit of cloth and use it like that, that sorta weapon almost merrits a prestige class of it's own. At least a feat.
But I do need to stat that up for my players... or their enemies.

Keep 'em coming guys, these are great, and the stories are wonderful!

Fayd
2010-12-28, 10:30 PM
Well... Rocks have been favored by many party members, all the way from the orc barbarian to the graceful elf assassin. Yes, she threw rocks. She killed a nymph with a critical hit from a rock. And it wasn't even a sneak attack.

Oh! Another one! Our Barbarian in my current campaign, a dwarf this time, used bottles in our first fight. In campaign, magic died. It died during the first session, and our party mage (yes, he knew what he was getting into and had a plan) tried to trow up some wooden support pillars to stop a building from collapsing right when magic failed. ... He summoned Wood Demons on accident. Three of them. They're grapple focused things with sharp, stabby tentacles.

Our dwarf, in an attempt to save everyone, tried to construct a Molotov cocktail, lighting it with his flint and steel. Our DM had been telling us that the elements are going crazy, and we believe him (earthquakes, lightning storms, fires, water bursting the banks of rivers, all kinds of fun stuff) and when he does, the random energy causes the Molotov NOT to be lit by the flint and steel. It got lit by lightning and exploded, dousing our dwarf in flaming alcohol. Long story short: The building's wall collapsed on him, he bull rushed it and broke IT, and then set the building on fire (by being on fire.) He then proceeded to tackle the three wood demons (keep in mind, he's level 1) and then beat them with a bottle of rotgut ale. When the bottle broke, it released more alcohol, creating MORE fire and a broken bottle. He then uses the broken bottle to gouge out the creature's eyes. If that still wasn't enough damage, the creatures had fungal spores for eyes, which filled out when he stabbed them. The spores caught fire, creating an explosion.

When our DM rolled the next tick of the periodic 1d6 of fire damage, he rolled a 15. The die stopped on its corner with the 4, 5, and 6 sides facing up. And thus, a group of level 1 PCs (some of which didn't even participate in the fight, thinking it hopeless) beat a group of level 3 wood demons (we found out afterwards) without a single casualty. (As we walked out the door of the tea-house, we had to remind the dwarf to put himself out. He spent the entire fight on fire.

Anxe
2010-12-29, 02:32 AM
My best was using a Goblin to kill a Goblin.

Kallisti
2010-12-29, 02:44 AM
once threw a bottle of ethics at an amorphous blob.

But Thought Bottles are too expensive to use as improvised weapons...


On-topic: I once had a Master Thrower/Hulking Hurler/Bloodstorm Blade use a tea service as a set of improvised weapons. It was an entertaining campaign.

gomipile
2010-12-29, 02:57 AM
Halflings and Kender are classic improvised weapons.

Kobold-Bard
2010-12-29, 05:10 AM
Halflings and Kender are classic improvised weapons.

http://facepwn.com/posters/Halfling_Throw.jpg

This person speaks the truth.

Welknair
2010-12-29, 11:46 AM
I used to have a Half-Orc Barbarian along with a Halfling Druid in my party. The Halfling often rode around on the Half-Orc's head (Due to their speed difference, mainly) and they found it to be profitable. They found an inventor and gave him the schematics for the SADDLE-PULT. You know how some parents carry their babies on their back with a cloth seat? Well imagine something like that, but bulkier and wooden. With a lever. First off, the Barbarian's name is Tenk and the Halfling wields a slingshot. ... The Halfling is the turret! Ha ha...

A standard encounter from the enemy's point of view:

1. Time to kill a PC!
2. What, is that a Half-Orc Barbarian?
3. Oh gosh, it is. And he's charging straight at me!
4. Wait what's that? Did he shoot a HALFLING off his back?!?
5. OH GOD TIGER. PAIN. (Thank you wildshape)

Maho-Tsukai
2010-12-29, 11:50 AM
As long as we are discussing odd weapons I may as well remind you all of Fistbeard Beardfist (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116838) who is built to use the most awesome(and ridicilous) weapon ever, his magical, enchanted beard.

Also, on the topic of improvised weapons, There is a third party book for D20 Modern called "Blood and Brains" which allows you to play a zombie killing, horror movie-esc type of game and seeing as how improvised weapons are common in horror flicks there are a few feats from that devoted to them. All I got to say is killing a zombie with a number 2 pencil is lots of fun.

Fouredged Sword
2010-12-29, 12:27 PM
I once built a massive strength build who wielded a wagon as a weapon. the party was sitting in it most of the time (I had a 70ft move speed) while I carried it (and all of them) on my back. I swung it without checking to see if they got out first, makeing random encounters a funny moment of everyone trying to beat my initiative.

AyeGill
2010-12-29, 04:50 PM
I once built a melee fighter with a strength and carrying capacity so retardedly large(loth-touched incarnate maug, i think), that he carried around a ballista for when he couldn't get in melee.

Rihar33
2010-12-29, 04:58 PM
an unconscious halfling (fellow party member)

darbythegambler
2010-12-29, 06:14 PM
a 220 pound bag of copper coins... we called it the neck breaker :smallbiggrin:

AugustNights
2010-12-30, 04:54 PM
a 220 pound bag of copper coins... we called it the neck breaker :smallbiggrin:

Not a bad use of some 176 gold pieces...

Doughnut Master
2010-12-30, 05:24 PM
My Half-Orc Monk uses Goblin Heads in his sling.

Tetsubo 57
2010-12-30, 05:38 PM
We had an NPC back in 1E that used a bucket as his preferred weapon.

One of our fighters once used a dead gargoyle to beat other gargoyles.

I once chopped off part of a door to make a stake to kill a vampire.

I think we once threw a halfling at someone. Not really fair to the target.

Achernar
2010-12-30, 06:21 PM
As far as improvised weapons go, I think Town Guardsmen work nicely. I work more on a "rule of cool" basis when DMing, so the Ogre Ranger who was abducting an entire town (long story, he was a henchman) slung a guardsman on patrol sideways into my party like bar shot and knocked half of them over.(It counted as a Bull Rush plus some nonlethal for the impact area).

Ranger Mattos
2010-12-30, 07:15 PM
When our DM rolled the next tick of the periodic 1d6 of fire damage, he rolled a 15. The die stopped on its corner with the 4, 5, and 6 sides facing up.

How does that happen?

Fayd
2010-12-30, 09:40 PM
How does that happen?

The die had filleted corners. (Filleted in the engineering sense, not in the cooking sense... it was rounded on the corners.) Somehow... it stopped on a corner with 3 sides up, and stayed that way until someone bumped the table. The strange thing was that it landed on a flat surface. We tried and tried to replicate it just by setting the die down and couldn't.

He decided to run with it because he DID say "the elements were in chaos."

Volos
2010-12-30, 10:22 PM
I was playing a pathfinder barbarian who loved his greatsword but we were forced against a group of oozes. After cutting all of the oozes into more oozes with cleave for a few turns, I suddenly realized that slashing damage wasn't the way to go. (Note: I know better but I was playing a raging barbarian) Using the clairty rage ability (can't remember exact name) I was able to think of using my crowbar. So I cleaved my way to victory in less turns than it would have took to kill the ooze if I hadn't helped it mulitply (aka lowered the individual hp of the baby oozes).

TinselCat
2010-12-30, 10:40 PM
An NPC trapped one of the players between a heavy metal door and the doorframe for several rounds, effectively keeping him out of the fight, and breaking several ribs. That's more 'using' than 'wielding', though, but it was highly effective.

Barbin
2010-12-30, 10:43 PM
We were fighting an evil druid that had just used enlarge animal on a dire bear, our caster( can't remember if it was a wiz or sorc) uses permanency on it. were all the rest of the party is pissed at the caster for making their job harder, in the end they kill the bear, but the Druid is still going strong, and they are almost dead !

The caster casts one of the Bigby spells, and launches the enlarged dire bear at the druid !

VirOath
2010-12-30, 11:26 PM
Well, had a Minotaur that had the Leadership feat, and it had been amended to give two cohorts instead of followers. So he had two gnomes, rogues with TWF, each tied to a stick that he then TWF with them.

And in less silly manners, I had a Dungeon Crasher that used a Battering Ram as a weapon.

John Campbell
2010-12-31, 01:06 PM
I, not so long ago, had a poorly-thought-through exit plan result in my leaping out a second-story window with a wolf under my arm, raging, and throwing the wolf at an astonished guard.

In Shadowrun, I had a mage beat a guy to death with a telekinetically manipulated motorcycle.

In a V:tM game once, my roommate's character staked another vampire with a No. 2 pencil.

Way back in 1E, our barbarian beat a clay golem down with a stalactite.

Blas_de_Lezo
2010-12-31, 01:11 PM
I once watched this Jackie Chan film where he wielded a fish, being extremely lethal with it, don't remember the title, anyone?

Oh, and in 3.5, our DM once attacked us with an ogre wielding a halfling (by his leg) he just killed. He homebrewed the carcass halfling for 1d6 bludgeoning damage.

Just_Ice
2010-12-31, 01:15 PM
In the curbstomp fight against the BBEG, my character scored the only hit by growing large with the aid of an item and throwing one of his own couches at him.

And then the epimonious Lord Limestone was actually angry, immediately shrunk me and just disintigrated the hell out of us over and over rather than screwing around

Admiral Squish
2010-12-31, 02:16 PM
Well, had a Minotaur that had the Leadership feat, and it had been amended to give two cohorts instead of followers. So he had two gnomes, rogues with TWF, each tied to a stick that he then TWF with them.
You dawg, I herd u like dual-wielding so I put dual-wielding in ur dual-wielding so you can slice while u slice.

...Woah... What just happened there? I feel all woozy. It was like something else just took over. Why are you all looking at me like that? :smalleek:

Sipex
2010-12-31, 02:35 PM
Our Wizard took down a guard by suffocating him with a blanket.

Uhm.

A clock tower? In particular, the gears to the clock tower. Our rogue was up at the top with the mechanisms and managed to pry them loose so they fell on the guards who just entered below.

My party is also fond of making molotov cocktails and lobbing them at various tougher monsters.

Volos
2010-12-31, 05:49 PM
My favorite drunken master improvised weapon was my avatar. I was playing a drunken master god against my players so I decided to have the deity use his avatar as an improvised weapon.

MeeposFire
2011-01-01, 01:28 AM
My kobold liked to wield a bag of flour...

In 4e my lazy warlord liked to wield the party slayer style fighter.

Doomboy911
2011-01-02, 10:41 PM
My bard has a plus five vorpal hat.

Zaq
2011-01-02, 10:56 PM
I've used a magnifying glass to focus a beam of light (from these adorable little sun-bat things we had) into a light-sensitive kobold's eyes. Then I lit the crate he was in on fire. That was fun.

My best, though, has to be the teleportation tiles. Long story short, we were trapped in a room with this really obnoxious and boring monklike opponent. My character, an Incarnate, couldn't hit him on less than a 16 or so (he had ridiculous defenses, but wasn't very good at attacking. Really boring to fight, don'cha know), so I got bored and decided to find something else to amuse myself. Now, the room was full of linked teleportation tiles: if there was something on both tiles in a linked pair (of which there were a couple dozen), they would swap places. I had the Theft Gloves shaped and bound (read: +lots to Disable Device), so I started using Disable Device to pry them up and collect them. I experimented with them for a bit (eventually appearing basically in my own arms and launching one of them across the room), and got an evil idea. I laid one of them, receiver-side down, at an angle against a wall, with something else there to put pressure on it and make it think that something was standing on it. I then stood on it from the non-receiving side, thereby bracing it against the wall. (My character was a burly dwarf in medium armor, so this was not an insignificant amount of weight). I then told the party Swordsage to throw our opponent onto the other tile in the pair, which caused him to appear in an itty-bitty space mashed against the wall. He . . . ceased to be a problem after that.

After that session, I told my GM to treat this as a cautionary tale. If he designs encounters stupidly enough that I get bored, I will find a way to amuse myself.

Volos
2011-01-02, 10:57 PM
Not that it actually counts as an improvised weapon, but I once played a Str 8 Wizard who carried around a greatsword as the symbol of his faith to a supreme deity (can't remember who exactly). I never wielded it in combat until we got into a fight with the BBEG. Then I pinned him down with a handful of summons and Evad's Tentacles and quicked a True Strike on myself. Ended up doing the killing blow with a weapon I couldn't properly wield. Had to do with how he killed my character's parents. Needless to say it was epic.