Learning when to stop drinking

[Tonal Architect]

Well, in my country, there's a saying that goes, "I'm not a heavy drinker, but as soon as I start drinking, I turn into some other guy, and that dude sure drinks like a fish".

That pretty much sums me up. I'm not a particularly heavy drinker, I don't often drink (not hard to figure out why), but as soon as the first glass is down, the next thing that's going down is me, crashing hard on the curb. I've gotten myself in trouble plenty of times due to going way overboard from being drunk, and that, associated with a nasty case of alcoholic amnesia, turns any day when I wake up with a hangover into an automatic "Omg, what have I done this time?" situation, and I'm usually relieved when something does not go wrong... Which err, doesn't happen very often.

Moderation is the key, I assume... Or at least there's gotta be some cue as to when to stop drinking and just letting the boat drift in the spinning dizzyness, instead of trying to shipwreck myself in a sea of spirits.

So... Any tips?

Ps.: Please consider that, while I myself am considering quitting drinking altogether, almost every adult is expected to handle his drinking, and that's a very useful skill to have, considering that most of my friends drink themselves, and that I kinda enjoy drinking, and would like to be able to so and Not turn my life into a next-day nightmare.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Tell your friends(or the barman, if you're a regular in a bar) to not let you have any more drinks then X.

Also only taking a set amount of money with you(though this only works for clubs/bars, not parties)

Good luck.

[Haruki-kun]

I have an uncle who's a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober for years. I've never talked to him directly about it, but I've talked to my dad on the subject.

There's several signs to worry about if they appear: Drinking to try to fix problems, drinking and not being able to stop, and lying about drinking. "What? No, I only had one..." "No, I'm fine, just a couple of drinks, I never drink at all." "Hmm? Oh, please, I haven't even drunk at all this week!"

If you want to continue drinking and control yourself, then you're going to have to do it at your own pace, drink slowly, don't overdo it. It's very hard to EXPLAIN it, because you're the only one who can know your limits.

That aside, if you really can't do it, then it might be best to stop drinking altogether. If it becomes a problem, then it's better to quit now.

That aside:


Ps.: Please consider that, while I myself am considering quitting drinking altogether, almost every adult is expected to handle his drinking, and that's a very useful skill to have, considering that most of my friends drink themselves, and that I kinda enjoy drinking, and would like to be able to so and Not turn my life into a next-day nightmare.

No, they're not expected to. If it came down to not being able to handle it then your friends need to understand it.

[Bang!]

The OP sounds very familiar to me. It describes my first few years out of high school pretty accurately.

And not to sound flippant, but I dealt with it by just stopping after three drinks.

[Aidan305]

As with Bang, I tend to limit my drinks. I'm well-aware that I have a low tolerance for alcohol and try to avoid having more than one drink (Two on special occasions).

I get the impression from the OP though that you've tried that, but your plans tend to go out of the window after the first drink. WOuld that be correct?

[IonDragon]

If you want to control the amount you consume, try drinking things that are more filling or possibly weaker. Since I don't know just how much it takes for you to get that drunk I can't say for sure, but I have a really hard time getting drunk off of beer. It's filling, weak and I don't love the taste so I can't down one quickly.

Rum and coke on the other hand... oh boy. I'll drop one in about a min. and be asking for another.

An important skill if you drink is to intersperse alcohol with water. It's better for your body (helps you remain hydrated, cushions you against larger drinks and let's you process the alcohol in your body) as well as simply making you just stop drinking for a bit.

[RebelRogue]

I know that feeling, although on a smaller scale; sometimes when I drink too much, I do or say things I regret. In fact, I guess most people who drinks enough alcohol to get drunk has experienced something like this once in a while.

Do note, that this does not necessarily indicate alcoholism: I've never felt any physical signs of addiction, and I've never used it as an escape. Only for the fun of it.

As for ways to remedy it, abstinence is of course the safest way to deal with it, which is kind of boring. But if it's a consistent problem, it may be necessary. If it's only something that happens once in a while, taking a bit of time to meditate before a party on the subjects of what triggers such bad behaviour and what the warning signs of you approaching your responsible limit are. If you've made yourself actively aware of these things beforehand, it may prove easier to stop in time. At least that works for me... most of the time :smallredface:

[Dr.Epic]

Tell your friends you want to cut back on the drinking. They can provide support for you and make sure you stick to this resolution.

[thubby]

the trick is figuring out how drunk what you're having will make you in 10 minutes.

[THAC0]

Being held responsible by something or someone is a great help.

I feel that I've been drinking too much. Last year I tried several times to cut back, unsuccessfully. I then made a New Years resolution, wrote it out, put it prominently on the fridge, and made sure my husband was aware of it. It sounds silly, but just that little piece of paper is helping so much. It's also helping that my husband knows, so he doesn't offer me a drink on a no-drinking day, or anything like that.

[CrimsonAngel]

You could... not drink at all? :smallannoyed:

[Partof1]

Try counting your drinks as you go. If you don't like the number, or can't remember the number, stop.

[IonDragon]

You could... not drink at all? :smallannoyed:

I think the point was kind of being able to drink, but stopping when you should.

[CrimsonAngel]

I think the point was kind of being able to drink, but stopping when you should.

I know. V I G I L

[KenderWizard]

It takes your body about an hour to process a standard drink. Is "standard drink" an accepted unit elsewhere? Well, whatever. A standard drink is a small glass of wine, a glass (half a pint) of beer, or a pub measure of spirits. Drinking faster than this is what makes you drunk.

You need to learn how to slow down. I don't know how you and your friends drink, but if it's rounds of shots every few minutes or something like that, you need to stop drinking that way.

Changing what you drink is a good suggestion, and definitely drink water as you're going along. Every time you get a drink, get a pint of water at the same time (this is free here, dunno about elsewhere) and don't have another drink until you've finished both.

Excuses that might help you explain things to your friends, if that proves necessary to help you save face, could include:
- I'm broke, I need to save my money tonight! No, no, don't buy me one, I won't be able to pay you back, I'm fine nursing this drink for a while longer.
- I'm taking medicine, damn doctor says I'm to cut back on the alcohol.
- I need to be up early / I need to drive in the morning. (You're drink driving if you've had more standard drinks than hours since you stopped drinking.)

But if you're honest with friends you can rely on, they'd be able to help you out with this.

[Kobold-Bard]

Alternate drinks with a glass of water? You'll last much longer before amnesia kicks in, and you'll be better hydrated so your hangover will only be supreme agony rather than the apocalypse going on in your head.

Do you mix your drinks? Because that tends to be a bad idea.

Personally I like the occasional alcohol fuelled blackout, I feel like a detective the next day, piecing together the bits of the night from people/objects etc.

[Don Julio Anejo]

Been there, done that... I'm an empiricist so learned things the hard way. Actually I've never done anything bad while drunk (except that one time I stripped... but I probably would have done it sober as well), at most was I came off like a jerkass to a few people. But I did have to learn to stop when I wanted to and not when I'm on the curb.

1. Don't mix. Especially don't mix really weak stuff like beer with shots. More than 1-3 shots gets you drunk pretty fast but they don't kick in until half an hour or so after. So it's quite easy to get hammered when, say, you've had 2 beers (which make you mildly buzzed), then had like 4 shots (still mildly buzzed) and then drank 2 more beers (which would make you very buzzed bordering on drunk). Then the shots would kick in... and you'd be very drunk.

2. Say no to wine if you're drinking it from the bottle. Restaurant servings are fine, there isn't much liquor in there and you're not going to drink 10 of them. But when you and friends are drinking it and constantly filling up your glasses, you get smashed. I honestly don't know why wine makes you so drunk, but it does.

3. Get your friends to cut you off at a certain point (say, when you start to slur... that's usually a good point).

4. If the above doesn't work, say no to spirits when you're at house parties. It's easy to go overboard if there's a bottle in front of you. Nurse cocktails.

The biggest problem could be if your friends drink rounds of shots every so often. I'm lucky in that regard in that most people I know either prefer beer or do shots sparingly. However I understand how hard it can be to resist ("guys, I'm stopping now...." "oh come on, just one more shot!"... *repeat 10 times*). In this case... you either have to drink more often to develop higher alcohol tolerance (don't recommend) or use KenderWizard's excuses.

[drakir_nosslin]

I had that problem when I was around 18-20 ish. Solved it by starting to like whiskey. It's not something that I'm actually able to drink fast, which means that it takes a very long time for me to get drunk. Long enough that most of the people I'm with tend to be a lot worse by then, forcing me to stop and make sure that they all get home properly. Whiskey doesn't make me hungover in the same way beer or wine does either, which is another bonus.

[Mikhailangelo]

I had that problem when I was around 18-20 ish. Solved it by starting to like whiskey. It's not something that I'm actually able to drink fast, which means that it takes a very long time for me to get drunk. Long enough that most of the people I'm with tend to be a lot worse by then, forcing me to stop and make sure that they all get home properly. Whiskey doesn't make me hungover in the same way beer or wine does either, which is another bonus.


Ah! A kindred spirit!

[Marillion]

Well, in my country, there's a saying that goes, "I'm not a heavy drinker, but as soon as I start drinking, I turn into some other guy, and that dude sure drinks like a fish".

I have a gay friend who says "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend sure is!" :smallamused:

Anyway, I've honestly never had that problem. If anything, I get even more subdued and quiet when I'm drunk. I'm weird like that. But what keeps me from getting drunk is drinking water, drinking filling or harsh drinks, such as Guinness and whiskey (straight, of course!), which helps me drink more slowly. It's worth trying.

[comicshorse]

The OP sounds very familiar to me. It describes my first few years out of high school pretty accurately.

And not to sound flippant, but I dealt with it by just stopping after three drinks.

Yeah that works for me too.

[Hazkali]

My advice is threefold.

Firstly, look at where you're drinking. Nightclubs and that sort of place tend to have more of a heavy-drinking culture because it's dark and loud, and people are there to drink and dance. More traditional pubs or bars have much less of a focus on heavy intoxication. Therefore try sticking to soft drinks when clubbing, and going to a pub to drink.

Secondly, look at what you're drinking. It's easier to drink a lot if you're drinking spirits (with or without mixers) than it is whole pints of beer or cider. Try drinking something with a lower ABV that you'd normally drink. If you really don't want to change what you drink, try small ways to change the amount- singles instead of doubles, half-pints or schooners instead of full pints.

Thirdly, look at who you're drinking with. This, I think, is the most important point. Only drink with friends, and by friends, I mean people who will stop you (and who you will allow to stop you) drinking when you've had too much. If your friends can't or won't stop you (because they drink excessively too) then it's time to find new drinking friends.

To finish, I'd like to recount my experiences of the drinking habits of three people I know.

Person A could not hold her drink. She would drink quickly, and a lot. When she did, she would often become emotional, breaking down into tears. She'd sometimes go off by herself (with or without telling other people) in a state that left her extremely vulnerable; when she told people, we'd be bound to go after her for her own safety. As much fun as she was the rest of the time, she stopped being invited on nights out and our social circles drifted away.

Person B does not drink for religious reasons. When I knew him, he was the vanguard of a night out, first on the dancefloor and there all night. His lack of drinking didn't make him any less of a character, although there were times when I wondered why he'd want to go out to places full of drunken people.

Person C does not drink for fitness reasons. He plays sport on many amateur teams with an eye to going into it professionally. He is built like a brick outhouse, all muscle and power. Nobody would question his masculinity because of his lack of drinking.

[ReynardCity]

A lot of people find their level after drinking to excess and I think a lot of people do that. Over time you learn to recognise this and most people can control themselves. However (I know these have been mentioned before but this can't be emphasised enough) there's the basics-

1. Eat before you drink- In other words, either drink alcohol with a meal or have a meal before you go out. This helps restrict the amount of drinking you can do.

2. Gaps between alcohol- Have a diet coke or some water in between. If you're worried about friiends having a go, lie and say it has vodka in it.

3. Have it because you want it- Don't feel you have to keep up with people

4. Don't buy rounds- It's cheaper and it means you can go at your own pace. Don't get me wrong, I'll buy a drink for a friend but that's it.

5. Don't beat yourself up- It's okay to enjoy drink, but not so much you become predictable the next day and say "Ooh I'm never drinking again"

6. Drink water about an hour or so before you go to bed.

7. Don't eat before you go to bed.

8. Eat something the next morning, even if you usually skip breakfast (which you shouldn't do)

Hope that helps!

[Juggling Goth]

I used to drink too much because I'm depressed and agoraphobic, and I was far too scared to deal with social situations while sober.

If there's any underlying reason why you're drinking, you need to deal with that. I mean, it sounds obvious. But yeah. Especially since alcohol never makes your mood better in the long run - I was getting drunk because I was miserable and scared, and then being drunk made me more miserable and scared, and hello vicious circle. It actually took me several years to figure this out, with a lot of knocking-some-sense-into-me from my wonderful girlfriend.

I don't know how much this applies to people who don't drink pints, or who aren't as socially anxious as me. But I find myself lifting my glass for something to do with my hands. I drink a lot slower since I started taking my knitting to the pub with me. I'm a good enough knitter that I can keep up a conversation, and since I have to put down the knitting to pick up the glass, it slows me right down. Also the knitting gives me something to focus on that's not my anxiety.

Okay, maybe knitting's not for you. But having something to do with your hands might help. Maybe those metal interlocking puzzle things?

I also now have a rule that I only have 1.5 pints of beer in me. After that I switch to non-alcoholic. If I'm in the pub for several hours, I might have another pint once enough time's passed for the first one to be out of my system. But basically, I have one-and-a-half drinks per session then switch.

If you're gonna do that, then you have to be really strict about it. It's prone to the same problems as dieting or the snooze button on your alarm clock. If you think "oh, just one more, just this once", it won't be just this once and then you're back where you started before you know it. It has to be a no-negotiation thing till you get in the habit good. Then maybe you can relax the strict numbers now and again - I drank a bit more on Christmas day. But after that one day, straight back into good habits you go. Absolutely no falling into bad habits.

That worked for me because I'm the kinda person who deals with her problems by putting up with them for a long time and then going "RIGHT! I can't be having with this!" and then doing something drastic. Obviously YMMV.

[Tonal Architect]

Typing this to the sound of Marillion's Clutching at Straws. Warm Wet Circles seems quite an adequate soundtrack... Well, on topic:

First of all, thanks for the input. This thread has given me plenty of good ideas on how to avoid going out of my head, thus far. I'll reply in no particular order...

I wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic, given that I usually avoid drinking since so far I've been unable to know when to stop; I'm very much prone to drinking myself into oblivion, as soon as I start, though, and this is the core issue. It could be said I have a tendency to binge drinking.

I mostly drink for the euphoria and the dizziness (yes, I enjoy that, lol); I don't really like the excessive extroversion part, though, especially since my issues stem from this particular effect. I do enjoy conversation while tipsy, when I'm in good company, but I mostly drink for self-centered reasons; my friends seem ok with not drinking, btw.

Well, I don't do clubbing, usually, so most of my drinking takes place in the house of friends or in small city squares; this also implies that I nearly never drink from an standardized measure unit, further adding to the problem. The beverage my friends and I consume will usually be rum with coke, and as pointed out... Oh boy.

So... I approached one my friends, one that handles her drinking quite well, and told her that I'll either learn how to properly drink and not make an embarassment out of myself, or give it up entirely. I went with her through the topic, and she has agreed to help me pick up the "skill". We've come to the conclusion that it should be nice to have a standard measure through which to count how many glasses I have had, and that I need to know my limits. We've agreed on the following agenda:

1) That I should buy one of the common plastic cups we usually drink with, and drink myself into a stupor, until I indeed blackout. I should have a notebook or some other means to take note (this probably sounds fairly funny) on how many glasses I've had by then, since I'll probably not remember myself.

2) That once we have an idea of how much can I take until I drop, we'll go out to a safe enviroment, carrying along enough water to drink between glasses, as well as food, and estabilish a safe limit, below which I'm still myself, and not a berserking paragon of drinking (Dragon Age reference). Once that's done, experiment with going up one glass at a time, until we've estabilished a number which should not be crossed.

She has suggested that, once I'm familiar with that point, I should have no problem realizing that it's time to stop, because I'll then know the signs and will not depend on keeping track on how many glasses I had so far to keep myself from going over the safe limit. She has also suggested that since I'll usually go straight Through that limit, it's fairly obvious that I have no idea where such limit lies.

Well, any thoughts on the "drinking lessons" we agreed on? This couldn't be any less systematic, I guess.

[Mathis]

I like to drink, especially with friends. I occasionally drink a lot when we do go out and I'm sure we have many of the same habits. When drinking I stick to beer, whisky and vodka, I'm not sure if you can relate but my tips for avoiding hangovers and blackouts might be helpful anyway.

Always eat before you drink alcohol. Never drink when you're hungry. A good full dinner is the best, but bread and some fruit will do in a pinch.


Drink a lot of water before you go out too, don't go out drinking alcohol thirsty. The key is staying hydrated.


Take your vitamins, make sure you're not lacking in anything your body needs. Minerals will keep you safe!


Pace yourself. Unless the goal is to get smashed, don't do 3 shots a minute.


Have a small glass of water for every couple of drinks. I usually have a glass of water for every 3-4 glasses of alcohol I have.


Hope these points can be helpful to you! Other than these, all I can say is that it's a matter of self-control. If you do want to stop drinking massive amounts of alcohol every time you go out, beat yourself up for not doing so. It's good to get angry at yourself for not making a change, use that anger as a catalyst for the change. Don't tell yourself it's ok to wait just a little longer.

[Don Julio Anejo]

Aside from the fact that I don't advocate drinking till you black out.... that's actually a very scientific and thought-out way of figuring out your limit and as an empiricist at heart, I approve.

[Serpentine]

Keep in mind that drinking constantly until you black out (aside from the obvious "dear lord, your poor brain and liver" thing) is a very different situation to drinking casually with conversation and so on in-between - at least, I should hope it is :smalleek: Doesn't necessarily mean it's not worth trying - if anything, it might even help you to err on the side of caution - but keep that in mind.
Rather than just keeping track of numbers, though, I suggest noting how you feel at each drink, as well. After all, the goal is to stop before you make a fool of yourself, not just before you black out, right?

[rakkoon]

Raccoon approves this use of science.
I would perhaps not be alone while you conduct this experiment since
1) Counting can become difficult
2) You will black out, who knows what you'll do

[Serpentine]

Oh yeah, have someone else describe your behaviour, too.

[Castaras]

Split the drinks up. Have 1 alcohol, 2 non-alcohol. It's what I do because I don't hold drink at all well.

[Deth Muncher]

I don't know about you, but I have a few physical signs I pick up on when I'm getting drunk. The first is your standard lightheadedness - when I feel that, I know I'm on my way. The second and third come at different times on different days, but when I've got all three, I know I've gotta stop: two would be when I can no longer feel my teeth - they just go numb. The third is when the lightheadedness combines with sort of a blurryness of vision/actions - feels kind of like in Speed Racer, when they'd get the action lines around them to show that they're going fast, combined with the slight disorientation.

Look for your own signs, and figure out when too many of them is too much.

[KenderWizard]

I don't think intentionally drinking yourself into unconsciousness is a good idea, even if it is for a worthy long-term goal. I would say that just doing the second part would be wiser. You won't be able to count accurately when you're getting drunk with your friends, so having a number of plastic glasses you're pretty sure you can take before you pass out isn't going to help much anyway.

In fact, I would just say to continue to enjoy yourself with friends, but try keep that friend around, or share your goal with more friends, and have a pact that if one of you is drinking too much, the other(s) will step in. And make it a point that there'll always be plenty of water and a meal beforehand. Maybe try to keep track of your drinks on normal nights out a few times to get a rough figure, rather than getting really drunk on purpose.

[VeisuItaTyhjyys]

Those poets in whom I place most of my trust offer two competing theories:

A)Until victory, when you die, or at least when the sun rises. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lN6ofLkgEg)

B)Alternatively, when you die, or at least when you fall asleep; in this instance, chain-smoke your way through the gaps in-between your aspirations and apathy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVJZAwUBrX8)