How much Personal Space do you need?

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Just for the fun of it I tried this experiment with friends/family a few months ago. I had one of them talking to me start slowly coming closer until I had the urge to step back. We then measured it.

For guys, you need to be at least 4 feet away from me, preferably 5.

Gals, around 2 1/2 feet
(if I 'really' like you however, no space needed :smallwink:)

Kids I apparently don't really need any space, but then I'm the eldest of 10, and younger ones are usually jumping on me, so that's probably learned.


Also has nothing to do with height apparently. One of my sisters is almost six foot.

What got me thinking of posting this is I was just reading that statistically those of the U.S. also are more aware of personal spaces and prefer more than say, those of England. Thought it might be interesting to verify this.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I don't really have a sense of personal space. I'm very touchy-feely, and love glomping people. Don't touch my neck or face without asking though.

[John Cribati]

I have no real personal space issues around people I know. And I'm certainly no respecter of personal space in any case. Especially if you've got long hair.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

I don't really have a sense of personal space. I'm very touchy-feely, and love glomping people. Don't touch my neck or face without asking though.
So if a stranger just walked right up to you and leaned on you it'd be 'all good'?


I have no real personal space issues around people I know. And I'm certainly no respecter of personal space in any case. Especially if you've got long hair.
I just used family/friends as a measuring stick. Not a big deal with personal space around them, though I'll still shove my brothers if they get in my face :smallwink:

[Orzel]

Starving: 5 feet. (For your safety)
Very hungry: 3 feet.
Hungry: 2 feet.
Slightly hungry: 1 inch.
Full: None. Hugs for all.

[DeadManSleeping]

If you meet one of three criteria, I need 0 personal space.

1. I know you
2. I don't really know you, but we've been talking for a bit and you seem nice enough
3. You are a woman I find attractive (keep in mind that my standard of 'attractive' is very different from normal peoples')

Failing that, approximately two feet is as close as you can get without it being a little weird (though exceptions are certainly made for crowded or cramped conditions). I won't make a fuss if somebody "violates" what I consider my personal space, but I might feel a bit more uncomfortable.

Oh, and a strong personal odor sets the space a few feet. I'm sorry, but I take the time to attend to my personal hygiene, and I'd really like others to do so as well.

[CoffeeIncluded]

So if a stranger just walked right up to you and leaned on you it'd be 'all good'?


I just used family/friends as a measuring stick. Not a big deal with personal space around them, though I'll still shove my brothers if they get in my face :smallwink:


Okay, no. I meant with people I know.

[Mina Kobold]

I have issues with people getting too close to me for some reason.

It's either Asperger's or bully trauma that's the cause but I simply get too paranoid that you'll do something mean to let you nearer than a few inches.

It would be worse if I didn't want to glomp people and simply was too afraid of laughter to do so (Weirdest phobia ever).

Though I can't say how I'd deal with friends doing so, as I have none in the country. :smallfrown:

Yet. :smallsmile:

[Zen Monkey]

Personally, I hate being touched, by anyone. Culturally, Americans tend to like more personal space than most. On the other end, many Asians (maybe due to overcrowding issues?) seem to be less concerned. In working with people from Japan or India, I noticed them initiating conversations at a distance that made the Americans uncomfortable.

[Eldan]

About a meter, I guess? That seems about save.

[Castaras]

With close family, and when there's only us around, I get very cuddly. With anybody else, I get nervous when people brush against me by accident.

[Haruki-kun]

Starving: 5 feet. (For your safety)
Very hungry: 3 feet.
Hungry: 2 feet.
Slightly hungry: 1 inch.
Full: None. Hugs for all.

Heh.... me too. :smalltongue:

Seriously, though it depends on whom. Sometimes it's not even about knowing them or not, some people I just don't get along with like that. Though I do realize the whole personal space thing is less of an issue when it's a girl than when it's a guy.

There's one guy at school who's always trying to hug everyone... and makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable.

[valadil]

I need a fair slice of available space. If I'm crammed onto a subway I don't really care that three people are bumping into me. If I'm alone in a movie theater, I'll notice if someone comes in and sits in the same row as me.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Makes me wonder about the kind of folks though who require to be practically nose to nose with you when conversing.

I don't even like my friends or family literally in my face unless I'm about to be smooched, and if you're a stranger you better back the hell up.

I've had a few folks like that though. Most recent was this completely psychotic heating and air guy. Sixty something, and practically had to duck to avoid his nose poking my eye out. I'm not kidding, our toes were practically touching.

[KuReshtin]

Makes me wonder about the kind of folks though who require to be practically nose to nose with you when conversing.

I don't even like my friends or family literally in my face unless I'm about to be smooched, and if you're a stranger you better back the hell up.

I've had a few folks like that though. Most recent was this completely psychotic heating and air guy. Sixty something, and practically had to duck to avoid his nose poking my eye out. I'm not kidding, our toes were practically touching.

A Space invader (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4AvLnt3P6Q), then..

[LOTRfan]

I have issues with most forms of physical contact (lesser form of Haptophobia?), so personal space is a must. Oddly, I have no problems with children (I am also the oldest of a large family), and family I'll tolerate (still sort of wierd though, especially hugging extended family).

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Don't see why you can't need space and physical contact.

I don't mind physical contact at all, but still like my space from most. You hug me, you step back, all is well.

[Haruki-kun]

Many people don't seem to have a problem with children. Maybe because we don't think of them the same way. Children are always jumping on top of you and tugging at you clothes and stuff.

[some guy]

I guess this would be about right.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Personal_Space.svg
I'm not sure though, I've never experimented with it.

Strangely, though, I have more problems with people (who I don't know) bumping into me in an overcrowded dancefloor than in an overcrowded train.
Maybe

According to the psychologist Robert Sommer a method of dealing with violated personal space is dehumanization. He argues that (for example) on the subway, crowded people often imagine those intruding on their personal space as inanimate.
has something to do with it. I can't dehumanize dancing people?

Also, this (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1919910,00.html) makes for interesting read.

[Haruki-kun]

I guess this would be about right.
*snip*
I'm not sure though, I've never experimented with it.

Makes sense to separate Intimate from Personal space. Though if this is true, then my personal space is disrupted a lot of the time. <.<

[Rawhide]

This seems very applicable (http://www.zazzle.com.au/youre_too_close_t_shirt_popular-235154364445728888). Don't try reading the text in the picture, the full text is in the description.

[RabbitHoleLost]

When it comes to personal space, the only time I demand it is with strange men.
Otherwise, I have none, and I violate others often.

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

Interesting idea - I'd estimate about 2 feet for, say, people in the street, but in the company of people I know about 1-2 feet is standard, and they're free to move closer.

[Mina Kobold]

This seems very applicable (http://www.zazzle.com.au/youre_too_close_t_shirt_popular-235154364445728888). Don't try reading the text in the picture, the full text is in the description.

Am I the only one who dislike the notion that Euramericans like more personal space because they support equality?

I don't live in America and I support equality as well, but my sense of personal space is a tad smaller so obviously I don't?

It's a confusing reason!

I must invade your personal space as punishment! *Hugs*

:smalltongue:

[Badgerish]

My personal space is how far I can punch.


I'm planning on putting that on a t-shirt :smallbiggrin:

[Mina Kobold]

My personal space is how far I can punch.


I'm planning on putting that on a t-shirt :smallbiggrin:

If you do it can I order one with hug instead of punch?

It'd be hilarious to have it in little font on the front and then hug the fool who tries to get close enough to read it. :smalltongue:

[The Vorpal Tribble]

I guess this would be about right.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Personal_Space.svg
That seems about right. My personal space is just a foot larger (despite the fact I suffer not even mild claustrophobia), and I consider guys 'social only' :smallwink:



Also, this (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1919910,00.html) makes for interesting read.
Huh, that explains a lot. My personally preferred space with guys is right out of touching range. Women, who I apparently am not threatened by, can come within normal range. Then if you're attractive you can come closer, or unattractive and you can stay put (we're still speaking relative strangers here).

Kids, pfftt, unless they're little brain washed assassins not much to fear from them in general.


This seems very applicable. Don't try reading the text in the picture, the full text is in the description.
HA! I like that. I want that.


Btw, how does one pronounce 'applicable' usually? I've always said it 'App-lick-able' but others I've heard say it 'A-plick-able'.

[Traab]

It depends, if their focus is on me, then I like arms length. Any closer is just.... wierd. If its just say, people walking around, then as long as they arent pressed up against me I dont care. If its a pretty lady? Well, I have space in my arms they can stand. :smallbiggrin:

[Mathis]

A Space invader (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4AvLnt3P6Q), then..

You made my day! Thank you!

[Xefas]

After having read this thread, I think something's wrong with me.

I probably have about a 3 foot personal space range (will have to get a definitive measurement later), and no special exception for women or children. In fact, especially children. I look at a child, and I see some kind of horrid filth-golem, with its teeth constantly falling out, and its stature an unsettling mockery of the human form. They're like something out of a horror movie - like one of those porcelain dolls but alive, and typically more disheveled, but always incapable of being reasoned with.

I'm a middle child, if that makes any difference.

And I have no reason to believe women are any less likely to shank me with a switchblade and leave me bleeding in an alleyway than men are. I'd prefer you all keep at least one shanking distance away from me.

[Marillion]

This about sums it up. (http://www.warehouse23.com/item.html?id=W23-1005M)

[Coidzor]

It's rather variable. In a cramped space, such as a kitchen, I can deal with about a foot, foot and a half, for a fair while with people I know enough to find worth interacting with, only after a certain point will I notice and/or mind.

With females that I like as people and don't have some issue with the idea of touching them (obesity, being sick, being older than I am by a wide margin, being significantly younger than me, having a position of authority and/or respect, though these also apply to men), it's very minimal, about a foot and a half. When it comes to sharing a bench or couch it vanishes for the most part with people I know except for when it needs to recall not to intrude upon their need for personal space.

With guys, arms length, so about 3 feet, closer friends being closer or further apart as necessary depending upon how much they like spontaneous rough-housing. Probably the closest standing and interacting without some environmental thing (like being in a cramped space or sharing a seat) is about 2 and a quarter-to-a-half feet.

With those I don't know or don't know yet, it's about 3.5-4 feet unless they're old enough that offering my hand in greeting is appropriate. But, well, don't really have much call for that these days.

With children, I typically keep about 6 feet minimum distance if at all possible, and will shift where I am walking on the sidewalk to maximize my distance from them if I can, because they creep me out and I want to avoid them attacking me or having a mom yell at me or attack me for accidentally squishing their kid by stepping on it. In environments like a mall, I don't disrupt my normal behavior quite as much, but I will either slow down or speed up such that I don't have to spend much time near people with kids. But this is probably less of a personal space thing and more of an irrational fear and/or hatred.

Though it's thankfully not quite as bad around children who are related to me, since at least I know who they belong to.

[some guy]

After having read this thread, I think something's wrong with me.

I probably have about a 3 foot personal space range (will have to get a definitive measurement later), and no special exception for women or children. In fact, especially children. I look at a child, and I see some kind of horrid filth-golem, with its teeth constantly falling out, and its stature an unsettling mockery of the human form. They're like something out of a horror movie - like one of those porcelain dolls but alive, and typically more disheveled, but always incapable of being reasoned with.

I'm a middle child, if that makes any difference.


Well, if it's any comfort; you're not the only one. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQw6PoHQPco)

[VeisuItaTyhjyys]

Don't touch me skin-to-skin.

[drakir_nosslin]

Don't touch me skin-to-skin.

This. Or rather; don't touch me at all.
I have a huge issue with being touched and even more with touching people, especially women. I think it might be because I feel like I can't read body language and such stuff good enough so I'm scared of being to intimate. This means that I always keep at least 5 ft. to anyone I'm talking to, unless I know them extremely well. As in family, or girlfriend.

Interestingly enough, I have no problem with bouncing into people, or sitting close to someone on a bus or a train when
a) I'm on a subway or another crowded area, or
b) I'm in a country where I don't understand the language

probably because it's easier to dehumanize people I don't understand or when I'm in large crowds.

[Dienekes]

A good couple of feet, even if I know you. A couple more if I don't.

I'm not a touchy-feely kind of guy, I also have found I have a tendency to lash out after being unexpectedly touched (that poor guy).

[Telasi]

About 1-2 feet for friends, if you're in front of me. About 3 for strangers if there's room. Double those numbers if you're behind me. Crowds throw those numbers out the window completely; riding on metros kinda accustoms you to crowds.

[yldenfrei]

Personal space rules almost only apply when eye contact is maintained. For example, 5ft rules do not apply when in very crowded places (public transportations, concerts, etc). The moment you make eye contact and hold it for longer than 5 seconds however, that's when personal space issues kick in. You can comfortably chat with strangers closer than your intended personal space so long as you only glance at them once in a while.

My personal space requirement is 5ft radius (across the table, one aisle apart, one chair apart, etc.). Acquaintances can get as near as 2-3ft (arm's length). Close friends can have physical contact (hugging, holding hands, etc.).

[Savannah]

Arm's length, for the most part. If there's a reason for me to be closer to someone (trying to talk to them in a loud place, on public transportation, working together on something, etc), I'm fine with being closer, though. That being said, don't touch me unless I know you well. And do not touch the hair without explicit permission, no matter how well I know you :smallannoyed: Since people have been confused before: I look nothing like my avatar; I have waist-length hair.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

And do not touch the hair without explicit permission, no matter how well I know you :smallannoyed: Since people have been confused before: I look nothing like my avatar; I have waist-length hair.
Ha! I actually kind of like my hair being touched... by gals anyways.

Then again, unlike my avatar my hair is usually shortish, I'm just furry all over :smallamused:

[Savannah]

To be honest, it's more a reaction to people feeling entitled to randomly reach over and yank my braid than an actual dislike of my hair being touched.

[CrimsonAngel]

Ehehe, not much. :smallsmile: You wouldn't believe some of the things my friends know about me.

[Em Blackleaf]

Well, there are a few really creepy, annoying people I know who have no consideration for personal space. If you take a step back, they feel the need to refill that gap! Those people, I need to be at least ten feet away from so that they don't attempt to initiate a conversation. My problem with their lack of consideration is the aforementioned creepiness and annoyingness.

But most other people, I don't really care about. Especially my friends and family, but I also don't really care if people I don't know too well, as long as they don't come off as too awful, enter my "bubble".

If I'm really tired or irritated, I don't really want anyone but my boyfriend or my mom to be too close to me. :smalltongue:

[Skeppio]

To be honest, it's more a reaction to people feeling entitled to randomly reach over and yank my braid than an actual dislike of my hair being touched.

:smalleek: I thought people usually grew out of doing that before they hit puberty. Yikes.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

To be honest, it's more a reaction to people feeling entitled to randomly reach over and yank my braid than an actual dislike of my hair being touched.
*tries to find a video of Princess Fiona from Shrek making her braid attack, but fails*

:smallannoyed:

[AshDesert]

I have no personal space bubble. Even if I don't know you, I really don't care how close you come, unless I'm getting a weird vibe from you. If I do know you, I get very touchy-feely, although if you get too uncomfortable I'll respect your personal space. I give out hugs all the time, and I'm up for a little roughhousing with guy friends all the time. I also shake hands as a greeting for everyone above a certain age, whether I'm just meeting you or you're my oldest friend (just a habit, I don't even notice it most of the time). I don't glomp though, I'm too heavyset to tackle-hug someone without them going to the ground.

[Rawhide]

I don't live in America and I support equality as well, but my sense of personal space is a tad smaller so obviously I don't?

I find it odd that this is what you would take away from the entire message.

The message is claiming that the level of personal space desired is based upon the concept of equality. Ignoring for the moment that there are many different forms of equality, it in no way said that if you don't desire as much personal space you don't support equality and you cannot reverse the statement to mean that.

[Galileo]

I've never really thought about it. I suppose I'd get annoyed if a complete stranger started touching me for no reason, but beyond that, I don't hugely care about personal space. And neither do most of my friends. Every gaming session we have will at some point end up in a friendly wrestle. Or a nerf gun war. Once, it was both at the same time.

[Orzel]

One thing that makes me and personal space a complex thing is my lack of 3D vision. I can't see in 3D dimensions so I only know close and far.

I can't tell how far people from me without using a reference point, gauging the size of their head, other senses, or them moving.

So Big heads, walk slower.

[valadil]

One thing that makes me and personal space a complex thing is my lack of 3D vision. I can't see in 3D dimensions so I only know close and far.


The term you're looking for is depth perception. Mine sucks too, but I've been told it's a skill that can be learned.

On an unrelated note, how much personal space people keep can also be affected by height. I'm 6'4" and have terrible posture because I'm always leaning in to make eye contact. My friend John is an inch taller but his posture is great. I asked him how he does it and he says he stays away from short people. What I mean by that is that if he's talking to someone shorter than him, he makes sure he's several feet away so he doesn't have to tilt his head so much. It comes across as a personal space thing, but really he just doesn't want to have to lean when making eye contact.

[Trekkin]

It depends partially on who a given person is, but I start with (their) arm's length, double that for children, and go up from there. Then again, I get uncomfortable simply knowing other people are aware of my presence, so it's heavily dependent on how open an area it is.

[Archonic Energy]

1 person per planet...

and this one's mine! :smallamused:

more seriously, as long as no-ones pushing/prodding/touching me i'm OK though rush hour can be a bit uncomfortable

[Fiery Diamond]

I'm not sure of the exact figures, but I have much less personal space than my dad does. With those I am close to, such as family or close friends, there are 3 different situations for how big the bubble is:

-Standing conversation: for family or very close friends, probably about 2-4 feet is optimal. For acquaintances that I know pretty well, about 3-6 feet. For strangers, 5-10 feet. This is assuming I'm talking to only one person. For multiple people, usually about about a 10-15 foot diameter for a circle that includes all of us, with me being on the edge of the circle. Note that groups of more than 5 are completely out of the question.

-Sitting conversation: for family or one particular friend, zero space. For most other people, as long as we aren't touching I'm fine. However, unless the people are close friends or family, I get very uncomfortable with people on either side of me being less than a foot away, even if we're not talking. For example, in the theater, I usually try to sit on the end of the row if I can to avoid being sandwiched between strangers.

-Displays of affection: hugs for all! At least, close friends and family. I do get a little uncomfortable with some hugs from some girls, however, among the not-quite-so-close friends.

I think my personal space is slightly smaller with females than with other males, sometimes as much as half the size.

I abhor crowded places, and things like subways and buses and so on give me panic attacks when they're crowded. I have demophobia: fear of crowds. I will never go to a concert (other than a "traditional" one with like classical music) for that reason.

However, I do not like people I am not close to touching me without my permission. A couple of girls when I was in middle school decided that I wasn't touchy-feely because I wanted them to back off, despite the fact that I really do like physical contact with those I care about.

[Xefas]

Well, if it's any comfort; you're not the only one. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQw6PoHQPco)

I empathize with this man so very much. Although, my aversion has less to do with embarrassment and more to do with disgust. I was talking about children, whereas this video is about infants, but insofar as my sentiments on infants go: they look, quite appropriately, like maggots. Big, shrieking maggots that have set up permanent residence in the uncanny valley with their faces that look almost human. And they smell.

But that would be fine. Everyone go off and procreate; that's great. Disgorge your horrible larva into the world through whichever orifice you feel like permanently mutilating. You have my blessing.

The most disquieting capability of the human baby is their ability to induce in their parents a primal urge to put their spawn in close proximity to me. I'm convinced this is a power fully contained within the child itself. The parents did not act like this before this creature was there; and now they do. It makes perfect sense. They want me to hold their horrible grub-beast. I do not want to hold their horrible grub-beast. I do not want to hold anyone's horrible grub-beast.

If I should ever have children, may my future self have the foresight to simply adopt. Perhaps a nice 35 year old, who already has all their various life-stuff sorted out. We could spend our days off work reclining in soft chairs together and acting civilly towards one another.

[Orzel]

The term you're looking for is depth perception. Mine sucks too, but I've been told it's a skill that can be learned.


I prefer the term "Axis Challenged".

*walks into a pole*

If you constantly walk into people and move in a little closer than normal in order to see clearly, is it right to ask for space when people approach you in conversations?

[Trog]

Depends. If I am side by side with a person I don't need much at all. Inches. If I am face to face with someone probably an arms length or so is comfortable I guess. Most of my interactions happen at greater distances than that but that's the range at which, below that, I'd feel self-conscious. And all of this depends on the person too.

[rayne_dragon]

Generally I need at least 3 feet, but I can also be so sensitive that I need 20'-50'. I'm also far more sensitive to people walking behind me... somehow I have something like a rogue's proactive stabbing reflex (fortunately, I seldom have a knife on me).

On the flipside, people I'm close to have the potential to be exempt from personal space rules, exspecially if I'm in a good mood.

[golentan]

0, unless you're doing something wiggy. I'm always up for a hug from just about anybody.

[SilverSheriff]

3 Feet, unless You're my romantic partner and we're holding hands or hugging... thats an arm-strain waiting to happen at 3 feet.

[Rawhide]

3 Feet, unless You're my romantic partner and we're holding hands or hugging... thats an arm-strain waiting to happen at 3 feet.

Your signature is so appropriate right here. It actually looked like part of your post.

Perhaps if you let people closer, you wouldn't feel so alone?

[SilverSheriff]

Your signature is so appropriate right here. It actually looked like part of your post.

Perhaps if you let people closer, you wouldn't feel so alone?

The "...I feel so alone..." thing has more to do with my lack of Romantic partners.:smallfrown:

[Rawhide]

The "...I feel so alone..." thing is more to do with my lack of Romantic partners.:smallfrown:

I know that it was completely unrelated. It just, on first read through, looked like it was actually part of the post.

[Incompleat]

How much Personal Space do you need?

Unless I know you very well, all of it.

[Remmirath]

I prefer strangers to stay as far away from me as possible. At least ten feet is ideal.

People I casually know, more like five or four feet is okay. Friends can sit or stand right next to me, but I'd rather they don't touch me.

Very close friends (of which I have perhaps two, and I'm not sure about that) and family, I don't really need any from.

I can suspend my personal space needs while acting, but that's about the only time.

[Fiery Diamond]

The "...I feel so alone..." thing has more to do with my lack of Romantic partners.:smallfrown:

I can commiserate. I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend. It's sad.

[Science Officer]

There's a quote I recall

"Americans stand together while speaking at the precise distance such that they could, with arms out-stretched, hook their thumbs into each other's ears."

horrible, horrible sentence structure in my para-phrasing.


I'll echo many other posters and say that I'm happy so long as they aren't touching me.

[Meg]

I prefer about arm's length for most people. I don't really mind people being within my 'personal bubble,' so long as we aren't touching. I really hate being touched, even if it's just the casual, everyday stuff. I like giving and receiving hugs, but if we're just talking, I see no reason to touch one another.

The no-touching thing applies to everyone, even my mom.