Need joke encounters! [3.5]

[Ducklord]

Me and my gf are a little bored of watching shows, and decided to run a quick dungeon crawl for her, but I want to fill the dungeon with funny encounters.

So far I have a room with tiny blue creatures living in mushrooms and warforged power rangers, that will combine into some bigger construct. She will play a lvl 4 warblade, both fluff and chrunch suggeastions are welcome!

[Sipex]

Internet Trolls.

IE: A bunch of Trolls which have high int, knowledge and social stats. If she can 'win' the argument she's let through.

[Mercenary Pen]

For another encounter, maybe set her up to rescue a dragon in distress from a fire-breathing damsel (for this you may want the damsel to be draconic in some way herself, just to do the fire-breathing)...

[Triskavanski]

Do a thriller encounter.

[Jay R]

[QUOTE=Sipex;10331753]One day I want to be able to use the phrase "You take 1d4 1d4 damage." QUOTE]

Wouldn't that be 1d4d4?

[Jay R]

I assume that the character falls asleep in the woods, and wakes up to see a white rabbit pulling a watch out of its waistcoat pocket, muttering "I'm late", and scurrying off.

I mean, how else is she going to find this dungeon?

[Gnorman]

Internet Trolls.

IE: A bunch of Trolls which have high int, knowledge and social stats. If she can 'win' the argument she's let through.

This seems counterintuitive.

[Sipex]

Not all internet trolls are stupid, most of the best ones are actually very smart and can create coherant arguments.

They're just jerks to boot.

[OracleofWuffing]

The Elemental Plane of Candy (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=97038).

[Radar]

One I experienced years ago:
a scrawny goblin holding a sign saying "I am here on behalf of The Great Dragon name here for he is suffering from an aching tooth. Please leave a thrid of your wealth here. Thank you for your cooperation."
We obviously ignored the request and told the goblin to scamper away. While we were leaving, we heard the goblin say "Boy, are they in trouble now."

[Teln]

A swarm of awakened spiders who refuse to let her pass unless she promises to leave their cobwebs alone. If she refuses, they start griping very loudly about all the hard work she's about to ruin.

[Uhtred]

Fraggles who try to convince her to retrieve a postcard for them!

[Ducklord]

Wow, some of these are really great, keep them coming! :smallsmile:

[No brains]

This is pretty rules intensive and kinda esoteric, but a hit when pulled off.

The party must climb a slope that demands a balance check or they fall. Make the DC fairly easy. Then, at the top of the slope, a cleric of Hextor screams the Trogdor song while throwing torches at them as they try to climb. Play the Trogdor song, really hurry the players, and describe just how filthy they get. It'll be a classic. Add a few kobolds so each player gets their far share of face-torching-slipping.

[Kansaschaser]

1. Fight against a master cook and his awakened creations. Such as a Spaghetti Golem(use stats for the Alchemical Golem), a Cup Cake Abomination(Use Stats for a Gibbering Mouther), or a Seltzer Elemental(Use stats for a Water Elemental). Feel free to tweak monsters as appropriate.

2. Fight against a troop of circus clowns. The clowns have feats that allow them to use improvised weapons and the throw anything feat. Then they throw pies at the characters for 1d8+strength damage. Flowers in the clowns pockets can spray contact poison. Or maybe the pies are full of contact poison.

[OracleofWuffing]

Encounter with some colossal dark, evil, grinning menace. You fall into a hole and are trapped in a chamber, but there's also some axes there that you find. However, the menace is invulnerable to the axes or to any of your weapons or spells. In order to kill it, and there are signs in the chamber stating this information, you must take one of the torches from the walls in the chamber, and set aflame the rope which holds a decorative ceiling-based lighting element. Doing so causes the lighting element to fall on the menace, killing it instantly (http://www.kongregate.com/games/Mazapan/you-have-to-burn-the-rope).

[Eldan]

Not a combat encounter, but:

Desire and the Dead contained a Modron Receptionist. Instead of making him a receptionist, have him guard a gate.

He has a few features.

First, he only refers to himself as Armoury99, and to other people as "the client".

Second, he takes everything literally. "Can I pass?" will be answered with "Probably", as it is theoretically possible, but is not asking for an action. "I would like to pass." is not a question or an order at all, but will only be met with a blank stare.

Finally, if he detects hostility, he will attempt to calm the situation by reading Modron poetry, such as the famous classics "Shall I compare thee to a favourable point in time?" and "A rose by any other name has the exact same olfactory signature."

[Stanlee]

You can always run an encounter in complete darkness. Constantly tripping over things, no idea if you are hitting an enemy or a wall.

You can even make it completely anti-climactic. When in the darkness things are jumping on you, you are running over a sea of bodies, being surrounded, limbs flying everywhere. You trip over a light-source. You are in a toy store with plush animals and dolls everywhere. Well, whatever is left of them at this point.

[Calmar]

A talking giant frog sits next to a well and weeps, because his princess fell down the shaft. The frog is willing to make promises he might renege afterwards, in order to convince the character to retrieve the princess.
Who know's what dangers lurk at the bottom of the well?

[Waker]

Hmm, lemme dig up some of my campaign notes.
Adamantine Chef- The party finds itself on a popular cooking show. The other competitors include Daimyo Sashimi, a samurai, Sushimaru, a fire ninja (Dragon 354) and Master Udon, a monk. The party needs to make a series of Profession (Cook) checks to defeat the three. Should things turn sour, battle ensues.

Dinobots- The party finds itself in a ruined fortress within a mountain. Within they encounter several giants made of metal. If a battle occurs, the Warforged Wildshape Ranger 5(UA)/Master of Many Forms 6 calls out "Dinobots transform!" Use the dinosaur stats presenting in the MM to serve as a base.

Dread Gazebo- As the party is walking through the plains, they discover a large wooden structure with an arrow sticking out of it's roof. Huge Mimic, if you feel like being cute give it levels in sorcerer or some other class.

Gnee High Gnation- The party is attacked by a radical group of gnome terrorists. If you are taller than their banner, you must die.

Kool-aid Man- The party is wandering around an underground maze. Throughout it they encounter the remains of several minotaurs and a few minotaur zombies. Holes in the walls are found in multiple portions of the ruins. Eventually they encounter a Cherry-Flavored Construct.

There are more horrible things I could share, but I'll stop there.

[Pika...]

1. A wooded area.

2. You get attacked by three bears.

3. One bear is wearing a hat and going through a basket.

4. One bear is smaller and has a tie.

5. One bear is black and is wearing a pilot's hat.

[Cyrion]

In a room full of chickens with keys for feet, only one chicken has the right feet to open the door on the other side.

[The Glyphstone]

She is captured and forced to fight in an arena for the amusement of a secretive cult. 5 back-to-back encounters; the first 3 pit her against 4 Dire Badgers, the 4th is versus a pair of Myconid Warriors, and the final 'boss fight' is versus a Gargantuan or Colossal Fiendish Viper. During the match, the robed and hooded cultists line the stadium seats, chanting in unison...
"It's a badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger..."

[Keld Denar]

If you do a search of the wizard.com site, I think they have the stats for a Calzone Golem. It's CR: Delicious!

[Kansaschaser]

If you do a search of the wizard.com site, I think they have the stats for a Calzone Golem. It's CR: Delicious!

Mmmm, sounds tasty. And after the fight with the "food enemies", you can chow down!

[Lord Loss]

The Calzone golem can be found in one of the free 3.5 adventures. I'm pretty sure it's in an adventure called "What's Cooking"

[bondpirate]

1) In the dungeon, there is an arena. In the arena is a cat and a commoner in a duel to the death.

2) A house is surrounded by chickens with a green tunic wearing boy at the window. He kicked the family's chicken and all it's friends came to get revenge.

[Telonius]

The team receives a call for help from a dark-haired young woman. A group of Dwarves plus one gnome sidekick - a little more than half a dozen of them - is holding her captive and forcing her to do their laundry. They've told her that she's in danger from some sort of evil queen, but the young lady doesn't believe a word of it. All of the Dwarves (except the leader) and the Gnome have a relevant Flaw, all have ranks in Perform (sing), and all are armed with pickaxes.

[smasher0404]

a running gingerbread golem! Look in the gaming section, just have it carry a plot specific item and set chase... have it sing "Run, run as fast as you can you can't catch me I'm the Gingerbread man, wait no i'm a golem"

[Aspenor]

Giant Hypno Toad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AOfbnGkuGc)

complete with will save vs. hypnotize and grappling tongue