PDA

View Full Version : Things you don't want to hear the PC's/DM say



Silus
2011-02-21, 09:22 AM
Just a fun thread. Just post some things that you don't like hearing from either your players or from the DM.

DM: "Hehehehe...." *Starts gathering d6's*

PC: *Playing an Owlbear* "I attempt a grapple."

Tyndmyr
2011-02-21, 09:31 AM
Any: "So, I found this thing called the book of erotic fantasies"

DM: "It's the fourth day of your trek...how many trail rations did you pack?"

PCs: "Well, we'll start by eating the fattest."

lokoone
2011-02-21, 09:34 AM
DM: "I dont want to DM, do you guys still want to play?"

everytime she says that, someone make a new character... last week in the same adventure we lost 3 player characters.

Kyrthain
2011-02-21, 09:40 AM
PC: "I'm thinking of playing a kobold"
Or
DM: *Insane cackling laughter*

Necroticplague
2011-02-21, 09:40 AM
When I dm: Hold on a sec, I need to stat up this encounter.

when I'm playing:How exactly am I being restrained?

When I co DM: (whispering to DM)Here, take this, it might have something to challange the wizard *hands crystalkeep template printout and book of templates*.

Barbin
2011-02-21, 09:45 AM
DM: A rust colored insect roughly you size seems very fond of your armor.

PC: I throw a torch into X important building.

Bagger
2011-02-21, 09:49 AM
DM: so ranger how many arrorws did you buy for world largest dungon?

Engine
2011-02-21, 09:57 AM
DM: "You arrived just in time." (traveling without too much worries)
DM: "You arrived just in time." (traveling at maximum speed)

PLAYER: "I need (insert race\feat\magic item here), without that my character is ruined."
PLAYER: "Sorry, but my character had to do that. Roleplaying, you know." (after charging enemies like Leeroy Jenkins. Or everything else)

DM: "Doesn't work." (everytime you try to figure out what the DM wants you to do, because none of your ideas seem to work)
DM: "Too overpowered." (every feat that could be useful for a non-caster)

PLAYER: "You should give me XP for that." (while ignoring every NPC and quest hook)
PLAYER: "I want to play a (insert everything ridiculous here)." (modern setting, the player wanted to play an army major. Who had 20 years)

Noedig
2011-02-21, 10:54 AM
DM: *Looking through the random encounters. Look of slight dismay* "Well ****, this is gonna get rough."

PC: "I open it."

Zaydos
2011-02-21, 10:56 AM
DM: Let me get my lucky die.

PC: I proposition the tentacle monster.

I love the looks on their faces when I say the former :smallbiggrin:

The latter is why I ban the BoEF now.

Dusk Eclipse
2011-02-21, 10:59 AM
DM: "Are you sure you want to do that? well then...."

PC: "I cast fireball centred on myself"

big teej
2011-02-21, 11:04 AM
DM: "so.... when are you free tomorrow?"
DM: "you've been knocked unconcious and I'll be keeping track of your hitpoints from now on"
DM: "roll me a percentage"
DM: "the bugbear hits you"
DM: "whats your flatfooted AC?"
DM: SNEAK ATTACK DAMAGE!!!

- all of the above are from last night's sessoin, which resulted in the deaths of 2 characters, a third of the party.

player: "I'm about to do something..... excessive"
player: "ha!"

that's all for now, but there are PLENTY more.

Zaydos
2011-02-21, 11:13 AM
DM: -insert specific player's name here- make a X check.
Said PC: 4?
DM: Continue.
Rest of Party: -groans-

Sometimes they groan first. Especially the player who was playing when I did this the first time.

Aemoh87
2011-02-21, 02:06 PM
DM: "You arrived just in time." (traveling without too much worries)
DM: "You arrived just in time." (traveling at maximum speed)

PLAYER: "I need (insert race\feat\magic item here), without that my character is ruined."
PLAYER: "Sorry, but my character had to do that. Roleplaying, you know." (after charging enemies like Leeroy Jenkins. Or everything else)

DM: "Doesn't work." (everytime you try to figure out what the DM wants you to do, because none of your ideas seem to work)
DM: "Too overpowered." (every feat that could be useful for a non-caster)

PLAYER: "You should give me XP for that." (while ignoring every NPC and quest hook)
PLAYER: "I want to play a (insert everything ridiculous here)." (modern setting, the player wanted to play an army major. Who had 20 years)

The Humanity...

MightyPirate
2011-02-21, 02:12 PM
DM: Okay so he made his reflex save against the falling horse, who's adjacent to him again?

Desril
2011-02-21, 02:57 PM
PC: "We're going to go pirating!" (Said after they just fought off some pirates...the campaign changed course afterward, they were supposed to be going to a port town on the mainland, instead they end up on an island)

gorfnab
2011-02-21, 03:43 PM
DM: From out of the water, a crab as large as a house (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/fw/20040221a) scuttles towards you. Roll initiative.

Cogidubnus
2011-02-21, 04:14 PM
PC: "I want to steal from X friendly NPC here"
PC: "I want to stab X friendly NPC"
PC: "I want to stab plot-significant NPC/our employer/the party wizard"

Yes, I've DMed for THAT Chaotic Evil rogue.

Kyrthain
2011-02-21, 04:21 PM
DM: There don't appear to be any _______ (traps, monsters, auras of dark magic, etc)

GoodbyeSoberDay
2011-02-21, 04:42 PM
DM: "All of the [melee brutes] made their will saves. Again."
DM: "All of the [cleric-types] made their reflex saves. Again."
DM: "All of the [squishy-types] made their fortitude saves. Again."

DM: "Yes, you got a 37, but what was the roll on the d20? 4? You fail."
DM: "Yes, you got a 14, but what was the roll on the d20? 17? You succeed."

PC: [Nothing, when plot-important information is privately revealed to him]
PC: [Nothing, when asked about plot-important information]
PC: [After hours in and out of game banging our heads against the wall] "Hey, is it important that [plot important information]?"

PC: "Because I'm chaotic neutral!"

PC: "Nah, my character isn't interested in any of those ideas. He's just going to stay in town and relax."

slaydemons
2011-02-21, 04:48 PM
my friend hates to hear this

PC(me): I have a spell for that

Provengreil
2011-02-21, 04:49 PM
DM: roll fort save.
PC ....22.
DM:....d****t, now i need to check the DC.

PC: I sit on the ground and do nothing.
other PCs: me too.
(this has actually happened to me.)

DM: the drow looks angry.

DM: i don't have a figure of appropriate size, so i guess this land raider's gonna have to do.

and my favorite(all from a PC, we play on most sundays):

monday: I wanna play a cancer mage.
tuesday: No, it's gonna be a disciple of mammon.
wednesday: still a disciple, but mephistopholes(hope i spelled it right)
thursday:can I apply this template?
friday: OK, i think i need you to tell me what a level adjustment is, exactly.
saturday: what if i was an evil half iron golem monk with vow of poverty?
sunday: I'm a human bard!

this was like 3 weeks ago.

and one more: DM(this was me, apologetic voice): I can't seem to stop rolling 17s.

vampire2948
2011-02-21, 04:56 PM
monday: I wanna play a cancer mage.
tuesday: No, it's gonna be a disciple of mammon.
wednesday: still a disciple, but mephistopholes(hope i spelled it right)
thursday:can I apply this template?
friday: OK, i think i need you to tell me what a level adjustment is, exactly.
saturday: what if i was an evil half iron golem monk with vow of poverty?
sunday: I'm a human bard!

this was like 3 weeks ago.

I've done that to every DM I've ever had. Wonder why they keep inviting me to games. :smallwink:

Player: <Any mention of the BoEF>

Player: "How much does a human child weigh?" [Did this in a game. Turns out the zombie seagulls are pretty good at child-snatching]

Player: "Oops! The dice rolled on the floor. Oh a 20!"

Saint GoH
2011-02-21, 05:07 PM
It's been mentioned, but anytime the DM says

DM: PC, make a *fill in le blank* check.
PC: Err... *Result*
Dm: Continue.
PC's: GAHHH!

orrrrrrr (this happened not too long ago, I was DM :smallbiggrin:)

DM: Have you gone yet this combat? No? *Check's sheet* That's a lot of d6's... *rummages through dice bag*

Combat Reflexes
2011-02-21, 05:32 PM
Player: 'I'm just playing my alignment' (apparently Good characters burn down villages as well)

Players: 'Naah, let's not go to the special crypts that our DM has spent six hours on for statting every single detail. We'll sell the townsfolk as slaves to make some money, or rob the bank or something like that.'

PC's are the ultimate gods of chaos.

Amnestic
2011-02-21, 05:39 PM
Player: 'I'm just playing my alignment' (apparently Good characters burn down villages as well)



"It was self defence! You saw it, the orphanage village attacked me!"

Provengreil
2011-02-21, 05:41 PM
Player: 'I'm just playing my alignment' (apparently Good characters burn down villages as well)

Players: 'Naah, let's not go to the special crypts that our DM has spent six hours on for statting every single detail. We'll sell the townsfolk as slaves to make some money, or rob the bank or something like that.'

PC's are the ultimate gods of chaos.

OMG, i hate that. i have all this crap ready for like 4 more sessions because I made a small corner of the land for the campaign i'm running, and what do they do? leave the ruined castle, and instead of going to the next place they wander in circles for 18 in game days looking for random encounters. I honestly don't even know why I let it go that long.

As for alignment, the inherent nature of an adventurer makes playing the game and having anything but a chaotic alignment nearly irreconcilable, unless you simply choose to overlook it. good and evil are a different story though.

docHigh
2011-02-21, 05:57 PM
This happened today on our 3.0 Ravenloft campaign.

DM: [To a lvl1 wizard] That makes a total of 4 regular and 10 Con damage.
Wizard: well, i drop unconscious. How much is my max HP?
DM: Hmmm.. You currently have score of 3. That makes max HP of 1.
Party cleric: Hahh.. now we got our personal minion. :smallbiggrin:
All the rest PCs are down with hysterical laughter.

Engine
2011-02-21, 06:15 PM
PC: "Bad roleplayer." (when you're not drooling after her 18-Charisma character) (Her character - all of her characters - was obsessed with sex. Really annoying)

DM: "You can't do that. You're Lawful." (everytime your character don't follow the letter of the rules and ruins the DM's plan)

PC: "I can do that. I'm Chaotic." (everytime the player wants to screw up the rest of the party doing something stupid)

DM: "Heavy roleplaying." or "Tactical combat." (after you create a character unfit for the campaign)

PC: "My character (insert boring information about the character)." (when you're having fun outside the game and another player really wants you to know every detail about the character he\she's playing)

DM: "This NPC will help you." (and railroad the rest of the party)

PC: "I roll Initiative." (a lot of painful times, like when they tried to kill each other for an item on the ground. Non-magical, even they didn't know that)

DM: "You should really try a NPC class." (Why, just tell me *WHY*!?>_<)

AshDesert
2011-02-21, 06:41 PM
DM: Are you sure you want to do that?

Player: I want to play a Druid.

DM: No need to roll for this one. You're pretty much dead.

Player: I want to play a Kobold Paladin.

DM: How much water did you bring with? *while playing Dark Sun*

fortesama
2011-02-21, 07:05 PM
When I DM, the players don't want to hear: I'm gonna DM today.

As a player, DM doesn't want to hear: I cast X.

Nobody wants to hear: Pazuzu, Pazuzu, Pazuzu

For some reason, whenever I DM, my dice tends to roll straight 20s (we roll in the open except for a few hidden rolls so no fudging to keep the alive).

When i'm a player, whatever spell i just cast would invariably lock down around 3/4 of the enemies.

The last one is the chant that begins the end of the world.

The Rose Dragon
2011-02-21, 07:08 PM
GM: Guys, I think we should switch to d20 Modern for tonight.

PC: Hey, GM, can we switch to Exalted for tonight?

((Man, bad memories. BAAAAAAAAD memories.))

Kaulesh
2011-02-21, 07:17 PM
PC: "Glad you didn't make us roll a Composure check."
DM: "Roll a Composure check."

Happened to us in Shadowrun. I was the aforementioned stupid PC. At least we passed the check.

Chilingsworth
2011-02-21, 07:18 PM
Some things my party doesn't like hearing from me:

I cast glitterdust.

I cast spelltheft.

I cast amplify.

Tech Boy
2011-02-21, 07:34 PM
PC: I throw my Molotov into the crowd of Kobolds.
DM: Roll for hit....
PC: 18.
DM: You take out 5 kobolds.... *Sigh*

Gamerlord
2011-02-21, 08:05 PM
Me as DM: *Smirks* This is gonna be fun.

Well, my players sure do not like to hear it.

Pika...
2011-02-21, 08:16 PM
Me/DM: "So what do you want to play?"

Player: "Can I play an anime-based little girl psycho paladin?" *Grin*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DM: "Yeah, the Shadow/Night-Something/Ect creepy mid-boss gets +8d6 Sneak Attack damage with that negative level scythe. :smallbiggrin:"

TurtleKing
2011-02-21, 09:16 PM
Player: Can I play X racial progression?:smallbiggrin:

ken-do-nim
2011-02-21, 09:22 PM
Player: I know you said we couldn't use that book, but can I just use one level of that prestige class?

DM: Let me see your character sheet.

zephyrkinetic
2011-02-21, 11:01 PM
DM: "Who wants to play the most famous dungeon Gygax ever created?" [referring to the Tomb of Horrors]

PC: (Who insisted he was an experienced 3.5 player) "Where are your THAC0 charts? I forgot to bring mine."

DM: "Does anyone speak [bull**** ancient language]?"

DM: "Can I borrow everyone's d6s?"

PC: "I'll put my Glove of Storing, Portable Hole, Bag of Holding, and Ehlonna's Quiver into my Heward's Handy Haversack."
Other PCS: "OH SHI--!" "FFFFffffuuuuuu--!"
DM: *hysterical, uncontrollable laughter*

Player (with a tan Bag of Tricks): "So, there's multiple wires crisscrossing the entire vast room, several closed doors with wires leading to levers beside them, and a giant, golem-shaped statue at the far end?
DM: "That's correct. With your inherent trapsense, you're pretty sure-"
Banned Player: "I toss a ball of fuzz into the middle of the room." *roll* "Alright! Rhinocerous!"

But for reals, worst of all:
Infant sleeping in the other room: Any noise at all.

Sith_Happens
2011-02-21, 11:06 PM
PLAYER: "Sorry, but my character had to do that. Roleplaying, you know." (after charging enemies like Leeroy Jenkins. Or everything else)

Funny thing that one. I've been spectating a campaign on my floor that my roommate was in. He has recently been (very politely) booted from said campaign because he makes such one-dimensional characters that he constantly has to tell the other players OOC how to interact with him IC, which of course was driving them insane. Oh, and his first character died because its personality apparently made it completely incapable of not chosing to go one-on-one with one of the recurring villains.

Anyways, here are some gems from that same capaign, mostly related to the fact that they have a killer DM:

DM: "Roll *X*"
Player: "Crit fail" (i.e.- rolled a 1)
DM: *Explains how not only does the character auto-fail whatever it is they were rolling, but how this is going to kill/royally screw over said character* (It doesn't matter if it's an attack roll, a Will save against Detect Thoughts, or a Knowledge (arcana) check, he will find a way)
(And you thought your DM's critical fumble rule was bad)

DM: "High or low?"
Player: "High/low."
DM: *rolls* "It was low/high. *explains the very bad thing that happens because of this*"

DM: "What's your AC?"

DM: *to himself* "Roll to confirm..."

DM: "[Player], how much health you have left?"

DM: *snickers to himself*

Player: "I roll knowledge ([X])." *rolls* "[High number]"
DM: "*vague, completely useless piece of information*"

DM: "Roll spot and listen."
Players: *roll*
DM: "You don't notice anything." (Hint: it's a rogue)

...That's about all I can think of right now, but there's definitely more. Needless to say, I'm quite thankful that the campaign I will be joining has a different DM.

Techsmart
2011-02-21, 11:09 PM
When I dm
PC : *explains actions.
DM: *repeats said actions and verifies.

DM: "Marching order?"

DM: "Which one of you guys were wearing/doing X?"

When someone else dms

PC: I roll a (a number greater than opposed) on my trip attempt

Me: I cast a spell.

For anyone

PC: I have 250 ft of silk rope.

Satyrus
2011-02-21, 11:13 PM
Player: Hey I was wondering if I could use this item/class/race (from obscure or banned book)

Seriously, this has happened to me so many times. You would think they would learn to phrase it differently.

Silus
2011-02-21, 11:16 PM
DM: "Yeah, the Shadow/Night-Something/Ect creepy mid-boss gets +8d6 Sneak Attack damage with that negative level scythe. :smallbiggrin:"

To clarify for everyone, it was a "Evolved Shadow Nether Hound Wight, Rogue 4" (CR 12) and 10 Evolved Shadows, (CR 5) vs a part of 4 lvl 7's.

Also, here's another:

DM: *Begins narration, exposition and/or description*
PC: *Rudely interrupts during narration*
DM: RAEGMODE

werik
2011-02-21, 11:22 PM
PCs: "So we're agreed, we're going to break into the guys house?"

PCs: "How many magic shops does this town have?"

PCs: "What is [random NPCs name]?"

PC to another PC: "Why are we here? My character couldn't care less about what your character wants to do?"

PC: "Is that name supposed to mean something to me?" When it is important plot important information divulged to that PC alone several times earlier in the campaign.

PCs: "So if you transform into a sexy, grief-stricken widow with a tale of woe about how your dead husband left you only with this magical sword, I'm sure you can extort an extra few thousand gold from the merchant." This plan quickly became a favorite.

DM: So what order are you walking in exactly?"

DM after you have made an unsuccessful spot check: "So everyone but you sees this [flashes a picture from the monster manual]."

DM: "So who all decided to go into the room?"

DM: "Your weapon hits the creature dead on, but it does not appear to injure it." Damage reduction is a bitch.

TurtleKing
2011-02-21, 11:23 PM
At least his ragemode only involved a nerf gun.

Silus
2011-02-21, 11:25 PM
PC: I read the book.

The book with the following on the cover:
http://i688.photobucket.com/albums/vv248/NeoChenrezi/Yellsign.gif


At least his ragemode only involved a nerf gun.

'Cause I have neither shovels nor excess land. :smallamused:

Choco
2011-02-21, 11:34 PM
Things my group doesn't like to hear from me:

Player/DM: "This is an important roll, let me get my special Cthulhu dice!" (I never roll lower than a 15 on those :smallamused:)

DM: "Oh wow, I didn't realize the power scaled that much, I need to get my Warhammer 40k dice" (for when I need more than the 20 D6's I normally carry on me)
DM: "How much HP do you have left again?"

Player: "Don't worry guys, I'll just use [ability DM forgot I had, because I never used it before] to 1-shot the BBEG!" (I have a habit of not using my best abilities unless I really need to)

Things I don't like to hear from my group:

DM: *after everyone shows up ready to play* "I thought that we could watch a movie or something instead of playing D&D today."
DM: "I thought we could try starting a new game using [another system] today." (neither of these would be too bad if he told us and/or asked us if we wanted to first)

Player: "I challenge NPC to a contest [of something both the PC and NPC specialize in]" (one player in the group ALWAYS does this, and it always wastes a good half hour of time)
Player: "I do [chaotic stupid action]" (impulsively, without talking with the rest of the party of course)
Player: *to the DM, after I have my char stand back and watch the consequences of [chaotic stupid action] unfold instead of helping* "I don't like how Choco is not being a team player."

Sith_Happens
2011-02-22, 05:45 AM
Oh yes, two more from this one session of the group I mined my previous quotes from:

DM: "Who was walking into the room first again?"
Player Whose Character Has An Int Score of 6: "Uh, me."
DM: "As you walk in, you can see that the statue is pointing its finger out at you. You vanish."
(Brass Golem, 1/day Maze)

Player 1: "Finally, it's dead! Do we rest now?"
Player 2: "Actually, I'm still in Frenzy..."

some guy
2011-02-22, 07:15 AM
PC: I read the book.

The book with the following on the cover:
http://i688.photobucket.com/albums/vv248/NeoChenrezi/Yellsign.gif


Oh my gosh, oh my golly. My players will find that book soon. They will probably do something really dangerous with it.

Players: We let the zombie loose in the woods.
GM: You mean the woods that aren't woods but more like a really, really small park?
Players: Yeah, that one.
GM: The one which is regularly visited by people walking their dogs?
Players: Yes.
GM: After that plan which was almost the same as this and resulted in one innocent bystander killed and one of you on the run for the law?
Players: Yes.
GM: Very well.

They're supposed to be the investigators, not the instigators!

hangedman1984
2011-02-22, 01:08 PM
PC: I read the book.

The book with the following on the cover:
http://i688.photobucket.com/albums/vv248/NeoChenrezi/Yellsign.gif



'Cause I have neither shovels nor excess land. :smallamused:


pardon the ignorance, but what book is that?

some guy
2011-02-22, 01:32 PM
pardon the ignorance, but what book is that?

It's The King in Yellow (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_King_in_Yellow). In the real world it's a collection of short horror stories.

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/kingyellow.jpg

In Call of Cthulhu, The King in Yellow is the play, not the collection of short stories by Robert W. Chambers.
Seeing the Yellow Sign on the cover causes sanity loss. Reading Act 1 causes no sanity loss, but reading Act II does. Actually performing the play is asking for disaster.

randomhero00
2011-02-22, 01:45 PM
What was your [input: AC, HPs, Saves, Stat]?

Pika...
2011-02-22, 02:03 PM
PC: I read the book.

The book with the following on the cover:
http://i688.photobucket.com/albums/vv248/NeoChenrezi/Yellsign.gif



'Cause I have neither shovels nor excess land. :smallamused:

Remind me to never visit you in Texas...


Anyway:

Player/Myself: "I pull ALL the cards." :smallbiggrin:
DM: :smalleek:

Razgriez
2011-02-22, 02:17 PM
DM:Ok you see a door
Players: *Roll to check for traps, there's nothing to find, the door itself is safe, and there are no traps that activate to it's movement* "We Open the door, what do we see?"
DM:You see nothing in the room it's too dark and black to see inside."
Players: We light torches/cast light/etc etc, and enter the room
DM *with apparent glee*: Ok, all of you entering the door way, hand me your PC sheets... you just walked into a Sphere of Annihilation :smallamused:
Players: *Stare in silence, various forms of rage, shock, and grown men crying break out slowly over time.*

DM: The Guardian mage of this world seems to be angry at you, and he begins to make various threats at your party as...
PC playing a Bard: "I cast *Polymorph related spell*"
DM: Wha? oh fine... what's your DC (Player reads it, DM rolls and fails by sheer dumb luck)
PC: I polymorph the big bad guy into a Worm and crush him under my heal
DM: ........ *throws papers with game plans away in a fit of rage*

PC playing as a class with Charm spells: "I cast Charm on *Other party member who disagrees with the Charm (ab)using spell caster on a subject*
Affected PC: "I roll Will to resist.... stabbing the spell caster in the gut that is..."

Choco
2011-02-22, 02:27 PM
PC playing as a class with Charm spells: "I cast Charm on *Other party member who disagrees with the Charm (ab)using spell caster on a subject*
Affected PC: "I roll Will to resist.... stabbing the spell caster in the gut that is..."

using mind-affecting abilities on other PC's against their will is generally frowned upon, yup....

PC playing a Beguiler: "I cast Charm on *Other party member (me) who disagrees with the Charm (ab)using spell caster on a subject*"
Me: "I remind Beguiler that I am playing a caster-hating and mistrusting Occult Slayer who has only been tolerating him up to this point, shrug off the effect cause of Mind Blank, and roll Spellcraft to see what he tried to do."
Beguiler: "..."
DM: "You identify the Charm spell."
Me: "I full attack the Beguiler."

Oh don't look at me like that, I didn't kill him, I just KO'd him, woke him up, ripped both his arms off, and ate them. In the 5 sessions it took for him to get those regenerated, he learned his lesson :smallamused:.

Razgriez
2011-02-22, 02:33 PM
using mind-affecting abilities on other PC's against their will is generally frowned upon, yup....

PC playing a Beguiler: "I cast Charm on *Other party member (me) who disagrees with the Charm (ab)using spell caster on a subject*"
Me: "I remind Beguiler that I am playing a caster-hating and mistrusting Occult Slayer who has only been tolerating him up to this point, shrug off the effect cause of Mind Blank, and roll Spellcraft to see what he tried to do."
Beguiler: "..."
DM: "You identify the Charm spell."
Me: "I full attack the Beguiler."

Oh don't look at me like that, I didn't kill him, I just KO'd him, woke him up, ripped both his arms off, and ate them. In the 5 sessions it took for him to get those regenerated, he learned his lesson :smallamused:.

As a typically Lawful Good player character, I find that horrifying and extremely harsh punishment Choco!

*High Fives Choco* there for I shall do EXACTLY that bit of revenge against the next Spoony Charm caster who dares tries to use it against my Paladin. Forget Risk to Alignment change, that's corporal punishment material!:smallbiggrin:

Engine
2011-02-22, 03:03 PM
using mind-affecting abilities on other PC's against their will is generally frowned upon, yup....

PC playing a Beguiler: "I cast Charm on *Other party member (me) who disagrees with the Charm (ab)using spell caster on a subject*"
Me: "I remind Beguiler that I am playing a caster-hating and mistrusting Occult Slayer who has only been tolerating him up to this point, shrug off the effect cause of Mind Blank, and roll Spellcraft to see what he tried to do."
Beguiler: "..."
DM: "You identify the Charm spell."
Me: "I full attack the Beguiler."

Oh don't look at me like that, I didn't kill him, I just KO'd him, woke him up, ripped both his arms off, and ate them. In the 5 sessions it took for him to get those regenerated, he learned his lesson :smallamused:.

You're OT. Because I sure would love to hear those words!:smallbiggrin:

Choco
2011-02-22, 03:05 PM
You're OT. Because I sure would love to hear those words!:smallbiggrin:

Oh me and the other players LOVED it :smallbiggrin:

The DM however was slightly annoyed, while the Beguiler's player was more than just slightly annoyed...

Combat Reflexes
2011-02-22, 04:53 PM
"It was self defence! You saw it, the orphanage village attacked me!"

Yep. It's either 'self defence' or 'preventive measures', such as backstabbing friendly NPCs ''just in case''.


Player: I want to play a Druid.

Hey, some of my best friends are druids! :smallcool:



PC: I throw my Molotov into the crowd of Kobolds.
DM: You take out 5 kobolds.... *Sigh*

I'm guilty of this! Everytime an NPC dies, a small part of me is destroyed. PC RUINED MY CREATION! THOG SMASH PUNY PC!! :smallmad:

Jergmo
2011-02-22, 04:54 PM
The party rogue assassinated a Dirgesinger who was Bolstering a huge mob of undead assaulting the palace of the city the party is in. She did this, to the dismay of her already-fragile psyche, by seducing him and stabbing him in the throat. He played a fiddle, and it became a rather unsettling background thing, the dreary, eccentric fiddler playing his music in the background as they made their way through the city destroying undead and cultists.

Within this character's mind is a demon lord passed on from another charcater, imprisoned by a magical ritual. They're now on their way to banish this demon lord once they visit a powerful Truenamer. Before the body switch, the demon lord had seven hours of freedom in control of the other character's body, via an agreement they made for him to save their butts in an earlier battle, converting the battlefield into a smoking crater. Shortly after they left the city, they came across a demon-summoner and a few other demonic cultists, along with an entourage of demons, in the middle of the night not wanting to waste time.

Me: "Everyone hears the haunting sound of a fiddle playing in the distance behind you."

It turns out, bard wraiths are actually kinda scary.

A lot of things I do scare my players...

I have a tendency to smile after they say certain things. Or I drop very subtle hints that make them think and wonder about what's coming next.

Silus
2011-02-23, 04:27 PM
DM: "Sure you can play a Warlock, but we're going to have to change a few things. I'm going to limit the number of times you can use your Eldritch Blast per day."

PC/Me: *Look of annoyed disgust*

Razgriez
2011-02-23, 05:26 PM
Recent situation in a campaign, playing as a monk, Fell down a rather deep well. survived with no damage from the fall (Thank you Slow fall and Tumble Ranks)

Get to the bottom... and find my self face to face with an ooze

Me: "I could use a little bit of help down here!" *Flurry of blows the ooze for 41 damage*
Party mage: "Ok!" *Cast Prismatic Ray, and rolls a damage type that heals the ooze instead*
DM: "Your spell heals the ooze for 40 damage"
Me: "I change my mind, STOP HELPING ME!!!!"

Zaydos
2011-02-23, 05:50 PM
DM: one of the valkyries might be your sister.

I was being evil to the player :smallsmile:

Jergmo
2011-02-26, 12:22 AM
Another my PCs didn't want to hear.

"The crossbow bolt skips off of the dragon's hide. It responds by launching a boulder at you with its tail from across the canyon."

Arcane_Secrets
2011-02-26, 12:58 AM
When I DM: "Give me a few minutes to pull up the description"
(most of my monsters tend to be so horrifying and bizarre that I pause to describe them, let it sink in, and then the PC's either attack it, flee, or some combination of the above.)