Silliness Record on dropping the Tarrasque

[meschlum]

While browsing my 3.5 books, I ran into what might be one of the more outrageous ways of taking care of the Tarrasque, and one that's accessible at a remarkably low level. But first, the story!


The Tarrasque was approaching, eyes inflamed with ravenous hunger. Behind the walls, the townspeople had seen it coming for quite some time, and grown almost used to its eerie, irregular pace. Shuffle, shuffle, sprint - and over the course of a minute, the beast was almost seven hundred feet closer. Shuffle, shuffle, sprint. Was its maw even bigger than before?

It was barely a thousand feet away - a little more than a minute before the gate, and then the city, met its doom - when a tiny halfling child on the wall suddenly called out. "Get it, mom!" As if spurred by the cry, the Tarrasque's pace altered, speeding up. Lurch, lurch, sprint, leaving it a bare hundred feet from the fascinated watchers.

Except the Tarrasque was wavering, its muscles snapping and flesh ripping open in the course of its final sprint, and it lurched once more then dropped to the ground. Massive wounds erupted from its back and hindquarters, inhuman flesh and bone scoured by horrible cuts as it seemed to tear itself to shreds. Slowly, the beast began to reassemble itself, but the wounds would take quite some time to heal...

"That's my mom, the best pony wrangler in the village," the halfling proudly declared as a small shape slid off the slowly healing corpse.


So what just happened?

Meet the Ride rules. Specifically, Spur Mount.

If a mount is spurred, its move increases by 10', and it takes 1 damage. The damage doubles in each consecutive round.

Take a gnome with at least +19 to Ride (Spur Mount is DC 15, +5 for an unsuitable mount). Add some skill at Hide or other means of not being noticed while on the Tarrasque's back.

Round 1: 1 damage - regenerated, Tarrasque moves 60' (20 base speed, +10' from Spur Mount, double move)
Round 2: 2 damage - regenerated. 120' total
...
Round 6: 32 damage - regenerated. 360' total
Round 7: 64 damage - 24 left after Regeneration. 420'
Round 8: 128 damage - 112 left after Regeneration. 480'
Round 9: 256 damage - 328 left after Regeneration. 540'
Round 10: 512 damage - 800 left after Regeneration. Tarrasque sprints 320', total distance is 860'.
Round 11: 1024 damage - 1784 left after Regeneration. Tarrasque is at -926 hp. Total distance is 920'.

Repeat as necessary.

If the Tarrasque's DR applies, it only applies for 5 rounds, so 75 less damage. The creature still drops.

For extra insult, use an Awakened Rat, pixie, or some such. In fact, pixies, with Greater Invisibility, might well be the ones directing the Tarrasque under normal circumstances.

[FMArthur]

Not being noticed... while spurring the creature to death? I don't think there are enough Hide checks in the world unless shenanigans are being used with this as well (which I suppose is a more than reasonable assumption given 3.5's nature as a carnival of shenanigans). So, pretty awesome! :smallbiggrin:

[AslanCross]

This of course ignores that Ride can only be used on a mount, which the DMG defines as "ready and willing." Ride can't be used on an opponent. It'd work if your DM was stupid. As in really, phenomenally stupid.

[Razgriez]

Pretty sure, if I were the DM, I'd have to say "No" to that.

The issue, aside from how cheap, and broken that is, and just asking for the DM to send some blue lightning bolts from the sky upon the player, is simply because of one fallacy you make

You presume that the Tarrasque would even listen to you.

a Ride check is useful for a creature that could potentially be a mount for someone or needed to make certain ride related actions... like say, jumping off of a Direwolf/"Warg" of the Hobgoblin captain you just killed, before the war runs off the cliff, with your precious Human ranger with it (Bonus points if you catch the reference). But I imagine you'd also need Handle Animal to rear the creature or beast into becoming a mount, or an increased DC Ride check

with the Tarrasque, you don't just simply hop on it's back, smack it with your feat, shout "Giddy up!" and roll a ride check until it's weakened into near death.

In other words, a responsible DM would invoke the rule of "Impossible to complete task"... other wise, the DM is just asking for rules abuse to happen, or just letting it go through for a quick laugh.

Just my opinion though

[Welknair]

What if you had a Wizard powerful enough to actually get a Charm Monster to affect it, thus making it "Willing"? Then again, at that point you can do a deal more than ride it to death...

Oh, and:

http://shamusyoung.mu.nu/images/comic_lotr74b.jpg

[Zaydos]

a Ride check is useful for a creature that could potentially be a mount for someone or needed to make certain ride related actions... like say, jumping off of a Direboar/"Warg" of the Hobgoblin captain you just killed, before the war runs off the cliff, with your precious Human ranger with it (Bonus points if you catch the reference). But I imagine you'd also need Handle Animal to rear the creature or beast into becoming a mount, or an increased DC Ride check

with the Tarrasque, you don't just simply hop on it's back, smack it with your feat, shout "Giddy up!" and roll a ride check until it's weakened into near death.

Fixed that for you. I mean really those worgs looked weird.

Also are you telling me you can't simply ride the Tarrasque into Modor?

[Doc Roc]

I would say that the silliness record probably is held by either Khan The Destroyer, or Tleilaxu_Ghola. Failing that, it's mine. I've built bricks out of my own character's body to blot out the sun, and subsumed all living matter in the process. I have dropped the moon. I have unmade reality, shattering the five-dimensional manifold of the 'verse itself.

For you, the day when the tarrasque died was the most important day of your character's life. For me, it was tuesday.

[Welknair]

I would say that the silliness record probably is held by either Khan The Destroyer, or Tleilaxu_Ghola. Failing that, it's mine. I've built bricks out of my own character's body to blot out the sun, and subsumed all living matter in the process. I have dropped the moon. I have unmade reality, shattering the five-dimensional manifold of the 'verse itself.

For you, the day when the tarrasque died was the most important day of your character's life. For me, it was tuesday.

Sounds like Exalted.

Oh and TARRASQUE CITY (http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=261519).

[Doc Roc]

Sounds like Exalted.

Oh and TARRASQUE CITY (http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=261519).

Exalted tends away from time manipulation.

[Daftendirekt]

Sounds like Exalted.

Oh and TARRASQUE CITY (http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=261519).

Best idea ever.

[Welknair]

Exalted tends away from time manipulation.

Then you've never played in the Game of Divinity?

I think we got a bit off topic...

My players have a running joke about going through a dungeon and opening a random door. Behind said door, there isn't an arrow trap or a pit of acid or anything like that. Just a Tarrasque Eye staring at you. Then you quietly close the door...

[Doc Roc]

Then you've never played in the Game of Divinity?

I think we got a bit off topic...

My players have a running joke about going through a dungeon and opening a random door. Behind said door, there isn't an arrow trap or a pit of acid or anything like that. Just a Tarrasque Eye staring at you. Then you quietly close the door...

Sorry, I meant, the playable game-like portion of Exalted. Not the part that resembles being spurred to death like the ride-willing tarrasque.

[JamesonCourage]

I would say that the silliness record probably is held by either Khan The Destroyer, or Tleilaxu_Ghola. Failing that, it's mine. I've built bricks out of my own character's body to blot out the sun, and subsumed all living matter in the process. I have dropped the moon. I have unmade reality, shattering the five-dimensional manifold of the 'verse itself.

For you, the day when the tarrasque died was the most important day of your character's life. For me, it was tuesday.

I like the part where it thinks it's badass. It's kind of cute; almost childlike.

[Razgriez]

Welknair gets a cookie for catching the "DM of the Rings" reference.

@Zaydos: Yes... I am indeed telling you that you can not just simply ride a Tarrasque into Mordor.

....You may however, use a catapult, or Ninja wizards.

On topic wise, my point still stands, Yes, on the extremely unlikely chance you managed to Charm the Tarrasque, you could "Ride" on top of it, but under the rules, doing actions that would bring physical harm or danger to it, grant the subject of a Charm spell extra resist chances. I'd still be hard pressed as a DM to allow the example of Overworking your new, super powered monster for a mount nearly to death.

[ericgrau]

With SR 32, a +20 will save you better have a lot of charms prepared and nothing on the ground worth protecting in the meantime.

[Saint GoH]

I like the part where it thinks it's badass. It's kind of cute; almost childlike.

Had you seen "It's" builds you'd realize he isn't boasting.


It's simple statement of fact.

[Alleine]

Awesomeness

I think this is easily the most hilarious way of taking out a creature I have seen. It totally made my day.

Props, man :smallbiggrin:

[LordBlades]

With SR 32, a +20 will save you better have a lot of charms prepared and nothing on the ground worth protecting in the meantime.

You're kidding right? 20th level wizard with assay SR needs to roll a 1 in order to fail SR. Also, venerable grey elf with 20 starting int and Greater Spell focus: Enchantment has a DC of 10(base)+9(heightened Charm Monster)+2(spell focus)+14 (int mod)=35. So that's a 75% chance to charm the tarrasque without optimizing too much.

Of course, if you're a 20th level wizard, you've pretty much already won the game anyway

[Cogidubnus]

New idea: level 20 Monk with amped Dex and Cha, max ranks in Ride and Diplomacy. He's spent the whole campaign being the laughing stock of the party, never being good for anything. Then the Tarrasque arrives. He goes out to meet it alone. The other players start divying up his dice.

Ten minutes later, the monk's former party members are all dead, and he is enjoying the revenge wreaked by his new pet.

See, Monks can communicate with anything. And Diplomacy is so broken you can easily optimise your check to turn an enemy to a friend in one action, then to a fanatical ally with another. Ride ranks are just there to help you cling on while you shout orders.

[Ravens_cry]

That was a wonderful, wonderful description, very vivid and inspired, meschlum. However, I wouldn't let this work because I oppose on general principles abusing the rules as rules. This is a definite example of that and I don't like it.

[term1nally s1ck]

With an Int score of 3, the Tarrasque can be Bluffed or Diplomatised, as it has 'humanlike intelligence'

Bluffing the Tarrasque that you are its own conscience using telepathy and glibness, and then polymorphing yourself into a cricket with a top hat, bluffing it into thinking that this cricket is part of its imagination and its conscience, and then riding it to death deserves some kind of prize, IMO.

[randomhero00]

If my players did this, I'd do it to them. "Suddenly you feel a bite in your flesh, almost like a tiny spur..."
"You all die"

[ericgrau]

with assay SR

At least use your broken stuff against broken monsters that expect it. Taking out something low tech with a nuke is not an impressive feat. And yes there's a reason 1% of things like assay SR get 80% of the forum talk, it's head and shoulders broken above the other 99%. Not to mention CR 20 monsters are supposed to be routine fights for level 20 parties.

[The Glyphstone]

If my players did this, I'd do it to them. "Suddenly you feel a bite in your flesh, almost like a tiny spur..."
"You all die"

Awakened Flea rogues are nasty. :)

[Thespianus]

with the Tarrasque, you don't just simply hop on it's back, smack it with your feat, shout "Giddy up!" and roll a ride check until it's weakened into near death.
Depends on what Feat you're smacking it with. ;)


Fixed that for you. (...)

Also are you telling me you can't simply ride the Tarrasque into Modor?

I love spelling errors in posts that correct spelling. ;)

[Yukitsu]

The silliest Terrasque drop I'd ever seen was the wizard Gregor Terasqua, who woke up as a Terrasque one day, which made him feel really down. He reasoned that the only thing that could lift up a terrasque was a terrasque, so he picked himself up. When he thought about this a little further, he realized how that doesn't work, and was dropped by a puff of logic.

[Doc Roc]

The silliest Terrasque drop I'd ever seen was the wizard Gregor Terasqua, who woke up as a Terrasque one day, which made him feel really down. He reasoned that the only thing that could lift up a terrasque was a terrasque, so he picked himself up. When he thought about this a little further, he realized how that doesn't work, and was dropped by a puff of logic.

One supposes he might have opted merely to jump.

[subject42]

I think I'm going to use this concept for my next character.

I like the idea of a halfling DungeonCrasher Fighter/Monk that uses Clever Wrestling/Confound the Big Folk/that ToB maneuver to climb up onto a foe's back, then uses ride to spur them up to relativistic speeds until it hits a wall and disintegrates.

I'd dress him up as a rodeo clown, but my DM would probably kill me.

[nedz]

The ride trick is old.

Whilst DMing a Tarrasque in 2E, the players sent the cleric to sneak forward and cast Harm. A 3 HP Tarrasque is a push-over, it did fataly stomp the Cleric though.

[Erom]

Had you seen "It's" builds you'd realize he isn't boasting.


It's simple statement of fact.
Um, I think the "It" of the grandfather post was referring to the tarrasque, not Doc Roc. Hard to tell with the poor use of pronouns, but I think the intention was to mock big T rather than a distinguished gentleman like DR.

[Ravens_cry]

The ride trick is old.

Whilst DMing a Tarrasque in 2E, the players sent the cleric to sneak forward and cast Harm. A 3 HP Tarrasque is a push-over, it did fataly stomp the Cleric though.
Hark, thy fate sucketh.:smalltongue:

[Yukitsu]

One supposes he might have opted merely to jump.

That wouldn't be all that silly however.

[Doc Roc]

That wouldn't be all that silly however.

You mean to tell me that a tarrasque in the middle of an existential crisis trying to do a mid-air truffle shuffle isn't silly?

[Callista]

Well, at one point the party bard diplomacy'd the Tarrasque into protecting the kingdom's capital city in exchange for lots of fat juicy sheep... does that count as "silly"?

[faceroll]

I would say that the silliness record probably is held by either Khan The Destroyer, or Tleilaxu_Ghola. Failing that, it's mine. I've built bricks out of my own character's body to blot out the sun, and subsumed all living matter in the process. I have dropped the moon. I have unmade reality, shattering the five-dimensional manifold of the 'verse itself.

For you, the day when the tarrasque died was the most important day of your character's life. For me, it was tuesday.

Cool story, bro.

[Bagger]

What if you had a Wizard powerful enough to actually get a Charm Monster to affect it, thus making it "Willing"? Then again, at that point you can do a deal more than ride it to death...

Oh, and:

http://shamusyoung.mu.nu/images/comic_lotr74b.jpg

this is just one of its abilites

Carapace (Ex)

The tarrasque’s armorlike carapace is exceptionally tough and highly reflective, deflecting all rays, lines, cones, and even magic missile spells. There is a 30% chance of reflecting any such effect back at the caster; otherwise, it is merely negated. Check for reflection before rolling to overcome the creature’s spell resistance.


and it have SR 28, so kinda hard to find a mage there can do anything

[Cogidubnus]

Couldn't a Wizard just prepare Fly and then Flesh to Stone in all your spell slots, then wait until it rolls a natural 1 on its Fortitude save? Tarrasque threat defeated.

The next bit would require DM co-operation. If you break it into tiny bits, do the pieces need reassembling before you could Stone to Flesh it. If so, separate the pieces and hide them all.

As for casters beating the Tarrasque? Yeah, you have to be unconventional, but just pick a spell that isn't a ray, line or cone (Flesh to Stone), wait for it to fail its save. With a Robe of the Archmagi, an Orange Ioun Stone and "Craft Magical Tattoo" you can get a +4 to your CL. Assuming this is a level-appropriate encounter, that means you have a CL of 24 against SR 32. You beat it on an 8, and you haven't even tried very hard to optimise you CL.

[Ravens_cry]

this is just one of its abilites

Carapace (Ex)

The tarrasque’s armorlike carapace is exceptionally tough and highly reflective, deflecting all rays, lines, cones, and even magic missile spells. There is a 30% chance of reflecting any such effect back at the caster; otherwise, it is merely negated. Check for reflection before rolling to overcome the creature’s spell resistance.


and it have SR 28, so kinda hard to find a mage there can do anything
Well, in that case, you pull a J. Buff up, get eaten, do you stuff, then get the Abyss out.

[JaronK]

...now I really want some Tarrasque Carapace armor.

JaronK

[LordBlades]

At least use your broken stuff against broken monsters that expect it. Taking out something low tech with a nuke is not an impressive feat. And yes there's a reason 1% of things like assay SR get 80% of the forum talk, it's head and shoulders broken above the other 99%. Not to mention CR 20 monsters are supposed to be routine fights for level 20 parties.

First of all, just because something is more powerful than you like, doesn't make it broken. There are plenty of gaming groups that work just fine with Assay SR.

Secondly, Assay SR is just a way of making sucky-ish spells that allow SR less sucky. There are plenty of other 'no SR, no save, just die/suck/forever rot in Hell and I don't even have to leave my personal demiplane to do it' tricks a wizard could do at lvl 20.

Third, it was merely a though exercise replying to somebody that said it wouldn't be trivial for a wizard to charm the tarrasque, not trying to do an 'impressive feat'.

[term1nally s1ck]

Cool story, bro.

Seriously, if you don't know any of those three names, don't talk smack to them.

[Darrin]

As for casters beating the Tarrasque? Yeah, you have to be unconventional, but just pick a spell that isn't a ray, line or cone (Flesh to Stone), wait for it to fail its save.

Blister Oil Bomb (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9742205&postcount=2) is cheaper, and affordable around ECL 4. If you need a Candle of Invocation (for the wish), then ECL 6ish.

[balistafreak]

Seriously, if you don't know any of those three names, don't talk smack to them.

While I don't doubt Doc Roc, I kinda want links to each of these now. :smallredface:

[Roderick_BR]

(...)
For you, the day when the tarrasque died was the most important day of your character's life. For me, it was tuesday.
I got the reference. I feel like a winner. And a loser.
Leave me alone, I'm not a news reporter.

[Tankadin]

I got the reference. I feel like a winner. And a loser.
Leave me alone, I'm not a news reporter.

I really wanted someone to ask if anyone else got the reference so I could be all, "OF! COURSE!"

[Doc Roc]

Khan wrote Pun-Pun, the third most powerful D&D character.
Tleilaxu_Ghola helped build Monty, the second most powerful, and wrote the Neo-Terminators, who are the single most powerful character I have encountered in any game.

I can get a swiftblade with ninth level spells and ten levels of swiftblade. Without using beholder mage.

Pretty sure FaceRoll knows all this, but I was being a bit grandiose. It was all in the name of a M. Bison quote though, so that makes it okay, right?

[term1nally s1ck]

I have never heard of Monty or the neo-terminators. O_o

[Doc Roc]

I have never heard of Monty or the neo-terminators. O_o

Monty exploits the far-realm hack on a pun-pun chassis. The most recent version of the neo-terminators was never published, but some of the underpinning theoretical work can be read here (https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AYdLcxsM7Nx0ZGc2NzhibjNfMTk4aGJteHJ6Z3I&hl=en).

[Morph Bark]

Well, in that case, you pull a J. Buff up, get eaten, do you stuff, then get the Abyss out.

You only get the Abyss out with a Fiendwurm though. Also, make sure the Tarrasque thinks you are... really tasty (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=9361109). :smallcool:

[faceroll]

Pretty sure FaceRoll knows all this, but I was being a bit grandiose. It was all in the name of a M. Bison quote though, so that makes it okay, right?

Doc, I love you're work, you just came off as a bit of an ass, which is uncharacteristic of you. I think you parsed the thread title wrong. Riding the tarrasque to death is probably one of the silliest ways of killing the tarrasque, imo. Not the silliest thing ever, but as far as the tarrasque goes, pretty hilarious.


Monty exploits the far-realm hack on a pun-pun chassis. The most recent version of the neo-terminators was never published, but some of the underpinning theoretical work can be read here (https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AYdLcxsM7Nx0ZGc2NzhibjNfMTk4aGJteHJ6Z3I&hl=en).

Your language regarding these matters excites me.

[term1nally s1ck]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlhOUyy4wbs

That might explain it..

[ffone]

LOL. That Ghadaffi freak in Libya is a pale, sad, wannabe of M. Bison.

Also from SF:TM, Zangief's lines:

"Quick, change the channel!"

"You got....paid!?"

[Doc Roc]

Your language regarding these matters excites me.

Small term: I will say T-axis. I mean time, in a dimensional sense.

Basically, the far-realm hack is that, when leaving the far-realm, you don't arrive at the same time you entered. It can even be before. So we use chained time-stops to build a NI number of clones of ourself, jump to the far realm, and jump back. It's basically a monte carlo attack on the time-line itself. Repeat endlessly.

Additionally, apparently the Far Realm is a Ring along the T-axis, so if you hang out in there long enough, you swing around to the start of the world.

These put together are Infini-bad.

[ffone]

Small term: I will say T-axis. I mean time, in a dimensional sense.

Basically, the far-realm hack is that, when leaving the far-realm, you don't arrive at the same time you entered. It can even be before. So we use chained time-stops to build a NI number of clones of ourself, jump to the far realm, and jump back. It's basically a monte carlo attack on the time-line itself. Repeat endlessly.

Additionally, apparently the Far Realm is a Ring along the T-axis, so if you hang out in there long enough, you swing around to the start of the world.

These put together are Infini-bad.

Some manual had a CR 17 Inevitable that's supposed to go after people who try to play with the timeline. Of course, it'd have to get to you before* you pump yourself up like this, and most anyone casting Time Stop is 17th level so I'm basically begging for the 10-20 "wizards > anything CR appropriate" replies that are almost a forum rule at GitP.

* whatever 'before' means with playing with the timeline. It's like the Bill and Ted 'circular' finale where they win b/c, by winning, they are able to go back in time and set things up so they win.

[Doc Roc]

Some manual had a CR 17 Zelekhut that's supposed to go after people who try to play with the timeline. Of course, it'd have to get to you before* you pump yourself up like this, and most anyone casting Time Stop is 17th level so I'm basically begging for the 10-20 "wizards > anything CR appropriate" replies that are almost a forum rule at GitP.

* whatever 'before' means with playing with the timeline. It's like the Bill and Ted 'circular' finale where they win b/c, by winning, they are able to go back in time and set things up so they win.

Actually, you normally need to pull an Ascension trick to get the TS chain going, so you're probably infinitely powerful. Your only real foe is the neo-terminators and other supra-deific entities.