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harrisonic
2011-03-02, 06:37 PM
I'm playing d&d 4e and I'm looking for new and exciting ways to get my DM to facepalm and/or send a mob of angry half-orcs against us. Any Suggestions?

Chilingsworth
2011-03-02, 06:45 PM
I'm playing d&d 4e and I'm looking for new and exciting ways to get my DM to facepalm and/or send a mob of angry half-orcs against us. Any Suggestions?

Well, if you want an angry half-orc mob, you could try buying him a bunch of half-orc minis, maybe? Then he might find an irresistable urge to use them.

As for the facepalm... I've got nothing.

Aemoh87
2011-03-02, 06:47 PM
This sounds like a bad idea.

The Glyphstone
2011-03-02, 06:52 PM
Why, exactly, do you want to fight half-orcs?

Comet
2011-03-02, 06:53 PM
Make funny faces. All the time.

Kylarra
2011-03-02, 06:53 PM
I suggest attempting to push things off any and all cliffs you find.

Chilingsworth
2011-03-02, 06:54 PM
This sounds like a bad idea.

Yeah, definately. I just assumed the OP has a deathwish and therefore realised as much.

Firechanter
2011-03-02, 06:59 PM
Insist to shake your dice all the time (in a plastic cup) to "keep them tuned up".

Savannah
2011-03-02, 07:09 PM
How about don't even try? Both as a player and as a DM, I find the game much more fun if the players and DM are working together, rather than trying to annoy or one-up each other. Now, your group might be different from my groups, but it's something you might want to consider before trying to annoy your DM.

Yukitsu
2011-03-02, 07:20 PM
My DM gets annoyed whenever I do an evil laugh, while saying "all according to plan!" whenever something I do goes according to plan. Doubly annoyed when my plan is on paper.

He also gets annoyed whenever I solve something by getting eaten.

Leecros
2011-03-02, 07:24 PM
Well the only time i've ever annoyed the DM was when he trapped us on a little island-plane of existence, cut off from everything else to the point where when we reached the end of the plane it just dropped off into nothingness...

Well, there were these villagers and since this was a magic that no one in the DM's world has ever seen before i decided to experiment...by pushing the villagers, the last remaining non-servants of the big bad and quest givers alive, off of the edge of the plane. For SCIENCE!


Then we all died one-by-one because apparently one of them had an item that we needed...:smallconfused:

Sillycomic
2011-03-02, 08:52 PM
Ask for people's names.

Not just big NPC's that you are supposed to meet. Go get a watermelon.

"Hello Watermelon vendor, what is your name?"

Ask if he has a wife or kids. What are their names?

Go to the local tavern and by the beer wench a drink. What's her name?

If you ever get to a town of only 40 people or so, be sure to get as many of their names as possible.

Also backstories!

Why is the watermelon seller selling watermelons? Perhaps he should think of strawberries. Everyone likes strawberries.

Beer wench, what do you think of manly tattoos? Would you be impressed if I got a tattoo of your name on my forearm?

Hello there little halfling girl, do you like cats? I like cats. I think cats are amazing. But... I also heard dogs are good too. Do you think you like cats or dogs more?

And about that time in the game half orcs will be charging your way.

Good luck with that.

Kerghan
2011-03-02, 09:10 PM
I would insist on consulting The Slayer's Guide to Game Masters, which details several ways to "beat" your gm. It presents three categories: Control Freak (Gms with a God complex), Storytellers, and Accidental GMs, and provides guidelines for dealing with them. It's not a serious book, but it could be informative. As a side note, if you don't mind a little destruction is to offer to get a soda for your gm, then shake it up, and give it to them. The results speak for themselves.

Kantolin
2011-03-02, 09:18 PM
Ask for people's names.

You have won the internet, sir.

^_^ In an old game of ours, the most important person in the world, insofar as we were concerned, was the aged owner of the extremely irrelevant pastry shop which the DM rolled a natural 20 on the Craft(food) check for.

That man got so much of our attention and everything that I'm not completely sure why he didn't retire. Two characters got into a fist-fight over who would get to ask the man to take over the shop when he was gone.

Callista
2011-03-03, 02:06 AM
This is the point at which I get out the fantasy name generator and my large capacity for creating random NPCs.

The only way my players have ever annoyed me is to assume there is a railroad and try to find the tracks. In their defense, they were used to CRPGs and didn't know that you could have a game without railroading...

khylis
2011-03-03, 02:12 AM
Make a neverending stream of Monty Python quotes, until the dm physically strangles you, the player.

Ravens_cry
2011-03-03, 02:17 AM
I don't see why one would want to do this. Having your PC annoy NPC in story, sure, that can be in character for trickster Robin Goodfellow type of character. But purposely annoying the DM, why? It seems more then a little childish and practically counts as griefing. If you succeed, all you're doing is ruining other peoples fun.:smallsigh:

Amnestic
2011-03-03, 02:29 AM
Ask for people's names.


That will work one time. After that the DM will catch on, at which point he'll detail every. single. aspect. of a person's life. They'll talk your ear off. Do you really want to hear Mr. Watermelon Vendor's entire lifestory when it takes 90 minutes of non-stop exposition?

Supercomputers
2011-03-03, 02:38 AM
You mean you have to try? My players seem to have the mystical ability to annoy me with every single thing they do... EVERY SINGLE THING THEY DO!

Kaww
2011-03-03, 02:46 AM
Ask for people's names.

That wouldn't even confuse me. Actually names would confuse me more than backstories. If they asked for them I might even throw them a plot hook or a random quest made up on the spot. If I knew a player wanted to meet a horde of orcs he would find them in the sidequest...

My players asked quite a bit of crazy/normal questions. One of those had as a consequence a city guardsman becoming a wealthiest man in his city. Please don't ask for details it's a LONG story.

BobVosh
2011-03-03, 02:51 AM
I used to think my players were just stupid, now I wonder if it is more diabolic than that. *note to self, develop paranoia* This text is above your clearance level. Please report to the nearest termination booth. Also wrong paranoia, although this one is fun. Mandatory fun.

Sith_Happens
2011-03-03, 02:59 AM
I'm playing d&d 4e and I'm looking for new and exciting ways to get my DM to facepalm and/or send a mob of angry half-orcs against us. Any Suggestions?

Only 1925 of them. (http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html)

Drakevarg
2011-03-03, 03:22 AM
Ask for people's names.

Which reminds me, I need to type up a new random-name-generator-by-culture for my new setting. This was annoying me last session, when I hadn't bothered to come up with one of the PC's lackeys until he was actually talking to him.

DontEatRawHagis
2011-03-03, 10:16 AM
1. Make a hybrid character, Half Orc half Deva also a Thief/Paladin. Say you have multiple personalities. Steal from you party upon occasion and also scold yourself

2. Keep mentioning that the DM would never throw strong monsters against you guys and that the traps are easy to bypass.

3. When ever combat rounds come up mention how these kobalds are going down, even though they are high-Demons.

4. When he misses an attack against you say how invincible you are and that your armor is so Awesome.

5. When he hits you and does only a few points of damage say "did a mosquito bite me?"

DwarfFighter
2011-03-03, 10:44 AM
I'm playing d&d 4e and I'm looking for new and exciting ways to get my DM to facepalm and/or send a mob of angry half-orcs against us. Any Suggestions?

Yes. Close the door on your way out.

-DF

Sipex
2011-03-03, 10:57 AM
1. Make a hybrid character, Half Orc half Deva also a Thief/Paladin. Say you have multiple personalities. Steal from you party upon occasion and also scold yourself

2. Keep mentioning that the DM would never throw strong monsters against you guys and that the traps are easy to bypass.

3. When ever combat rounds come up mention how these kobalds are going down, even though they are high-Demons.

4. When he misses an attack against you say how invincible you are and that your armor is so Awesome.

5. When he hits you and does only a few points of damage say "did a mosquito bite me?"

While wonky I think this type of character would be fun to have in the party.

When you say annoy/facepalm I take it you don't mean serious annoyance but more like fun annoyance.

1) Apply physics and chemistry as often as possible. My players have effectively broken out of jail by eating charcoal because I gave them some in game.

Interesting fact: When ingested, Charcoal gives you massive diarehha.

My players also constantly use lightning based items and spells on water and metal because in physics it should work. Caught me off guard the first time.

2) Get mage hand and prestidigitation, this can be done without being a wizard. When used creatively these two beauties can throw your DM off regularily.

3) Attempt to disarm any armed enemies. After a while your DM will come up with some way to handle it but it'll really thow him through a loop at first.

4) Buy lots and lots of different wonderous items with different effects. My game has been broken many a time due to these things.

Cyrion
2011-03-03, 11:35 AM
Your best way to make your DM do a facepalm is to look for creative ways to leverage innocent items, even the disadvantages.

An alchemist I played once started the game with essence of fluff as one of his apprentice projects, so he applied it to the soles of his boots to get water walking. The boots became less effective because they absorbed water- so I started looking for ways to use soggy boots to good effect. Find creative uses for the soggy boots, and you get your facepalm.

This turns you into a resourceful player, an asset to the party, and you aren't annoying in the process, but you still get to indulge in the fun and silliness.

Tiki Snakes
2011-03-03, 11:55 AM
Accents. Perhaps your Barbarian always speaks in a badly done Arnold Schwarzanegger impression at all times.

Perhaps your Bard talks like mock-elvis?

Perhaps your halflings talk like rednecks or cajuns, your Orcs like the Welsh, or your Dwarves like the most stereotypical, speedy-gonzales style mexican types?

Perhaps you speak in your characters voice through the whole session, even when not in character? :smallsmile:

Tyndmyr
2011-03-03, 11:58 AM
When asked what type of elf you are, the correct response is "Keebler".

grimbold
2011-03-03, 12:00 PM
quote monty python ALL THE TIME
base a character off Dennis the Peasant

valadil
2011-03-03, 12:05 PM
Use your stupid flavor abilities all the time. In GURPS Dungeon Fantasy, my half ogre Tibor somehow ended up with fishing and skiing. Every plan he made was an excuse to use one of those skills even though we were rarely near snow or bodies of water.

To those suggesting being kind to the DM, there are mean pranks and fun pranks. Seeing as the title is Fun Ways to annoy the DM, I'm assuming that we're going for lighthearted shenanigans that make everyone laugh. Not hiding the GM's dice or replacing his battlemat markers with sharpies.

Darakonis
2011-03-03, 12:11 PM
Huh. Hadn't even occurred to me that D&D had griefers.

That being said, I think this is full of win:


Ask for people's names.

Not just big NPC's that you are supposed to meet. Go get a watermelon.

"Hello Watermelon vendor, what is your name?"

Ask if he has a wife or kids. What are their names?

Go to the local tavern and by the beer wench a drink. What's her name?

If you ever get to a town of only 40 people or so, be sure to get as many of their names as possible.

Also backstories!

Why is the watermelon seller selling watermelons? Perhaps he should think of strawberries. Everyone likes strawberries.

Beer wench, what do you think of manly tattoos? Would you be impressed if I got a tattoo of your name on my forearm?

Hello there little halfling girl, do you like cats? I like cats. I think cats are amazing. But... I also heard dogs are good too. Do you think you like cats or dogs more?

And about that time in the game half orcs will be charging your way.

Good luck with that.

As a DM, I've been caught in this trap. "What's his name? Uhm, yes, his name, of course, his name is, uh..." *rifles through papers for name list*

Peace,
-Darakonis

Tyndmyr
2011-03-03, 12:15 PM
Huh. Hadn't even occurred to me that D&D had griefers.

That being said, I think this is full of win:



As a DM, I've been caught in this trap. "What's his name? Uhm, yes, his name, of course, his name is, uh..." *rifles through papers for name list*

Peace,
-Darakonis

Names are my achilles heel. I'm terrible at thinking up names on the spot. This has resulted in an unfortunate number of NPCs being named Bob.

I can happily improv everything else though. Everything. I'll go as deep down this rabbit hole as the players want to go.

valadil
2011-03-03, 12:53 PM
Names are my achilles heel. I'm terrible at thinking up names on the spot. This has resulted in an unfortunate number of NPCs being named Bob.

I can happily improv everything else though. Everything. I'll go as deep down this rabbit hole as the players want to go.

Same here. That's why when I use a screen all the tables and charts are covered with sticky notes listing names, titles, towns, and taverns.

I think learning how to GM is really just a matter of learning what you're able to improvise and what has to be prepped, and those things vary between each GM.

Tyndmyr
2011-03-03, 12:55 PM
Agreed. Sure, you *can* prep everything, but eventually you learn you don't have to. I just need long, long lists of names, and Im good.

I do greatly enjoy detailed maps, though.

Sipex
2011-03-03, 12:55 PM
Oh, that's a good idea. I need to make a list of names for people and towns which I can pull from when required.

blackjack217
2011-03-03, 01:04 PM
Only 1925 of them. (http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html)
try the 5815 things the worst party in eberon is banned from doing. (http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Rules)

Callista
2011-03-03, 02:38 PM
I think, personally, if my players started asking after the watermelon vendors, I'd find it interesting and fun. It would be a great way to make the world seem more real; and if I could get them to befriend said watermelon vendor, they'd have connections in that town. Maybe a month later the fellow's daughter runs away and there are orcs in the area. Maybe there's a plague threatening the town and they see him delivering watermelons to quarantined houses. You know... all those little details. It's not like D&D has to be all epic battles and badassery; it can be chatting to the watermelon vendor, if you like, so long as everybody has fun.

Sillycomic
2011-03-03, 07:16 PM
Wow. My idea was either the best or worst way to annoy the DM, lol. That's kinda funny.

Personally I always have a problem with names. As a player I always ask for people's names and want to role play. If the watermelon vendor has a story to tell I'm all for hearing it!

But as a GM I'm horrible with names. It's like the bane of my existence. I can stat out encounters, treasure, XP, lewts. I can improvise a scene with multiple characters to tell important information to the players, but whenever they ask for the guys name I just fall completely flat.

I need to grab that random name generator and have a list as well. It's the only way! Ha ha.

Although, I do want to say, if you're the kind of GM that will run with an entire story if a player goes up to a random watermelon vendor and starts asking questions... BRAVO to you. That is a wonderful game you are playing, and I'd be happy to be a confident enough GM to do that in my own games.

Hawkfrost000
2011-03-03, 08:51 PM
As a not to DM's:

when a player tries to use IRL physics to solve a problem feel no impetus to say "alright" because D&D physics is completely different from that of the real world.

Drynwyn
2011-03-03, 09:03 PM
Always write your plans down on paper. Remember, if you don't have to buy more paper, your plan isn't good enough.

Yukitsu
2011-03-03, 09:30 PM
Always write your plans down on paper. Remember, if you don't have to buy more paper, your plan isn't good enough.

I believe the inverse. If I can demolish his entire encounter with 1 short paragraph, I've done better than if I had to put down a legal contract. If I can do it with a short list of items, even better.

My DM really hates when we recommend splitting up. Partly because instead of dying 1 by 1, we succeed faster.

Talyn
2011-03-03, 09:43 PM
You said this was 4E, right? Make a polearm fighter, get the magic weapon that gives you threatening reach, and abuse the crap out of the fact that fighter marks stop enemies in their tracks.

Once you hit paragon, you can start tripping people every round with your at-wills, too. You become basically a defender/controller, and really, really make life difficult for DMs who don't know how to handle it.

rayne_dragon
2011-03-03, 09:44 PM
Play a wizard.

Or really anything that can inflict multiple negative status effects on a lot of enemies at once with encounter powers. I know my DM was driven crazy by all the bookkeeping he had to do because of my wizard. Fire shroud is awesome. :smallbiggrin:

Jay R
2011-03-03, 09:55 PM
Ask for people's names.

Not just big NPC's that you are supposed to meet. Go get a watermelon.

"Hello Watermelon vendor, what is your name?"

....

This is really dangerous. I can remember the names I invent a whole lot easier than you can, and as soon as you try this, I can use their names rather than descriptions.

DM: "You are handed a message, which says, 'Urgent! I have information for you', signed 'Hronmakar'.

Do you remember which character you talked to is Hronmakar? I do, because I knew which one name I needed to remember.

Jay R
2011-03-03, 10:07 PM
1) Apply physics and chemistry as often as possible. My players have effectively broken out of jail by eating charcoal because I gave them some in game.

My introductory sheet for players includes the following: "A warning about meta-knowledge. In a game in which stone gargoyles can fly and people can cast magic spells, modern rules of physics and chemistry simply don’t apply. There aren’t 92 natural elements, lightning is not caused by an imbalance of electrical potential, and stars are not gigantic gaseous bodies undergoing nuclear fusion. Cute stunts involving clever use of the laws of thermodynamics simply won’t work. Note that cute stunts involving the gross effects thereof very likely will work. Roll a stone down a mountain, and you could cause an avalanche. But in a world with teleportation, levitation, and fireball spells, Newton’s three laws of motion do not apply, and energy and momentum are not conserved. Accordingly, modern scientific meta-knowledge will do you more harm than good. On the other hand, knowledge of Aristotle, Ptolemy, medieval alchemy, or medieval and classical legends might be useful occasionally."

dark.sun.druid
2011-03-03, 10:12 PM
This is really dangerous. I can remember the names I invent a whole lot easier than you can, and as soon as you try this, I can use their names rather than descriptions.

DM: "You are handed a message, which says, 'Urgent! I have information for you', signed 'Hronmakar'.

Do you remember which character you talked to is Hronmakar? I do, because I knew which one name I needed to remember.

Sneaky sneaky. This is a really good idea! You only need to remember one, but a prepared player needs to remember dozens. :belkar:

Kaww
2011-03-04, 03:27 AM
I think learning how to GM is really just a matter of learning what you're able to improvise and what has to be prepped, and those things vary between each GM.

I have to do this... QFT