Build help for ..."interesting" character (3.5)

[Qwertystop]

I like trying odd character ideas, and I prefer to have some backups ready. Anyone got ideas for a build for the following base concept?

An Intelligent Eternal Wand of Mage Hand with class levels involving illusion. No tier 1 or homebrew, as those are the 2 most commonly banned things.

[Qwertystop]

No? Nothing?

Incidentally, the character concept is a wand that just pretends to be a stick. The Mage Hand is so it can move around. Also so it can pretend to be a living creature with an illusion spell, as long as it doesn't walk around while picking something up.

[gorfnab]

Beguiler (PHBII) is tier 3 and focuses mostly illusions and enchantments.

[Epsilon Rose]

Maybe a psion, erudite, or ardent? There's ways to make them fairly good with illusions and since they're all psionic you can suppress visuals and often don't need somatic components so it'll be harder to tell the wand is casting and more legal.

Also the idea of an arcane wand using psionics entertains me.

[Angry Bob]

I think there are feats to replace your somatic/verbal components, but in this case, you might want to ask to waive them outright. You know, just because.

[Qwertystop]

I figured I'd take levels in either Begiler or a Psionic class, but the real problem is figuring out how to play as an Intelligent Item. No listed LA, no physical ability scores... The only thing I can figure out is that the cost of the wand, including the cost of making it intelligent, would be removed from my WBL. Also, I'm not good with Practical Optimization. It's one thing to say "take Beguiler levels", and quite another to know what feats and such to take that make it all work together well.

[Urpriest]

Yeah, you need homebrew for this, as intelligent items don't have LA (I'm not even entirely sure that they can take class levels, though since they have Wis and Cha they are creatures...). So your task is impossible.

[Qwertystop]

Yeah, you need homebrew for this, as intelligent items don't have LA (I'm not even entirely sure that they can take class levels, though since they have Wis and Cha they are creatures...). So your task is impossible.

When I said homebrew, I meant homebrew classes, feats, ACFs, etc. I didn't mean a small addition made to fill in a hole in the rules.

[the clumsy bard]

check out eldritch haunt from the dragonlance book the towers of high sorcery.

its a template you add to magic items / corporeal creatures

[Qwertystop]

check out eldritch haunt from the dragonlance book the towers of high sorcery.

its a template you add to magic items / corporeal creatures

Don't have that, what is it?

[Urpriest]

When I said homebrew, I meant homebrew classes, feats, ACFs, etc. I didn't mean a small addition made to fill in a hole in the rules.

Ok, then I'll second the previous posters' suggestion of the Beguiler (PHBII). Beguilers are pretty straightforward and don't require a huge amount of optimization knowledge since they automatically know every spell on their list. Just about the one thing a Beguiler really needs to know is how to deal with enemies immune to mind-affecting spells. I've heard it argued that illusions are still useful against such enemies, and I'm sure someone else on this thread can explain that further. In terms of feats, etc., this depends on whether the DM rules that you can't perform verbal and somatic components as a stick, which could potentially be a build-breaking pain in the ass.