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Silva Stormrage
2011-03-29, 05:27 PM
As I am putting some finishing touches on my camphian's BBEG final fight I found that it was incredibly hard to actually think of humorous/badass quotes to use during the fight. I ended up copying from shows/other sources of media for a lot of them. How do you guys come up with quotes and maybe share some so I may steal them shamelessly :smallbiggrin:.

dsmiles
2011-03-29, 05:39 PM
As I am putting some finishing touches on my camphian's BBEG final fight I found that it was incredibly hard to actually think of humorous/badass quotes to use during the fight. I ended up copying from shows/other sources of media for a lot of them. How do you guys come up with quotes and maybe share some so I may steal them shamelessly :smallbiggrin:.If I had any, I'd be more than happy to share.

For those in the audience, however:

"TELEPORT!"

And if that made any sense to anyone, the Playgrounders know me all too well. :smallwink:

Provengreil
2011-03-29, 05:48 PM
can we get some more info on party and, more importantly, the bbeg? we won;t know what's appropriate otherwise

Mystic Muse
2011-03-29, 05:50 PM
"The gold you shall take from this dungeon will depress the price of gold in the region by at least 35%, and create dire economic troubles for large local businesses.

Jerk. "

Eldan
2011-03-29, 05:53 PM
"Please, don't hit me!"

Was one I used once. And wouldn't you know, it worked. The players left him alive, he broke out, and they had to hunt him down again.

To be honest, I didn't expect that it would, and had to change quite a bit of campaign planning :smalltongue:

dsmiles
2011-03-29, 05:58 PM
"The gold you shall take from this dungeon will depress the price of gold in the region by at least 35%, and create dire economic troubles for large local businesses.

Jerk. "

You just made my next dragon bbeg very happy. :smallsmile:

Tyndmyr
2011-03-29, 06:05 PM
Well, I've got a semi-decent line in my sig.

Mystic Muse
2011-03-29, 06:07 PM
You just made my next dragon bbeg very happy. :smallsmile:

I actually got it from somebody else who posted it in a thread of mine about creepy lines to use in RPGs.

Doc Roc
2011-03-29, 06:29 PM
"And you see, that's why I used Teleport Through Time to become your dad, Son."

ClockShock
2011-03-29, 06:38 PM
"Time to, chill out"
(You've got ice spells, right?)
Poor puns form the foundation of any boss fight.

Also. Try winking suggestively. That usually puts a player off.

Silus
2011-03-29, 06:49 PM
"You're too late. I put my plan into action 35 minutes ago."

TurtleKing
2011-03-29, 07:02 PM
Philosophical one:" At the end of the day. When all of life has drifted away. What is there left?

Doc Roc
2011-03-29, 07:18 PM
Philosophical one:" At the end of the day. When all of life has drifted away. What is there left?

This is less effective in a 'verse with immortal entities.

flabort
2011-03-29, 07:20 PM
A female:
"Hey, honeybuns *Wink*, I'm gett'n lonely wait'n for you to join me... In the sweet, sweet brace of undeath. Come 'ere!:smallfurious:"

Some guy, or a dragon:
"Wait. You say you just came here looking for treasure? What a coincidence. I'm here to protect this treasure from thieves like you!"

A shady fellow:
"Hey, hey! Put those weapons down! None of us actually came here to kill anyone, right? Let's just be peacefull about this, you let me go, and I'll not put my foot here on this pad. Alright? Thank you. Not often you find someone with manners. Good day!"
And then it turns out he'd taken the macguffin you were after, in the next room.

Guess who?:
"We are the borg. You will be assimilated."

TurtleKing
2011-03-29, 07:34 PM
Mine is actually versatile by changing out life for whatever else. It can even be used in a non BBEG way as well.

Silva Stormrage
2011-03-29, 07:36 PM
can we get some more info on party and, more importantly, the bbeg? we won;t know what's appropriate otherwise

I wasn't really asking for help on mine just curious on how other people used it. But the BBEG is a thrallherd that has a custom artifact that allows him to have epic leadership for thrallherd's version of leadership. Very sarcastic because he used to be a player before that player left the campaign.

The party is a Druid/Sorc, a Spell Theif, a Fallen Cleric of Pelor, Rogue, Psion and Dread Necromancer

Some of these are hilarious though, I love the world optimization one :smallsmile:.

Blisstake
2011-03-29, 07:39 PM
"...but you see, you cannot possibly win, becase I am the star of the show, and the hero always prevails!"

dsmiles
2011-03-29, 07:46 PM
"...but you see, you cannot possibly win, becase I am the star of the show, and the hero always prevails!"
Ooh...you just made my next bbeg (I don't always use dragons). That's an insane bard who specializes in Perform: Theatre, that's what that is.

Tavar
2011-03-29, 07:49 PM
If you want that awesome pre fight speech, I recommend the various angle quotes from Nobody dies, located here (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/NobodyDies). If nothing else, that fic has some good speeches.

Amnestic
2011-03-29, 07:53 PM
Party: "Die monster, you don't belong in this world!"
BBEG: "It is not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by HUMANS who wish to pay ME tribute!"
Party: "Tribute!? You steal mens souls, and make them your slaves!"
BBEG: "Perhaps the same could be said of all religions."
Party: "Your words are as empty as your soul. Mankind ill needs a saviour such as you."
BBEG: "What is a man!?" *tosses wine glass to the floor* "A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!"

:smallcool:

Silva Stormrage
2011-03-29, 08:09 PM
Party: "Die monster, you don't belong in this world!"
BBEG: "It is not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by HUMANS who wish to pay ME tribute!"
Party: "Tribute!? You steal mens souls, and make them your slaves!"
BBEG: "Perhaps the same could be said of all religions."
Party: "Your words are as empty as your soul. Mankind ill needs a saviour such as you."
BBEG: "What is a man!?" *tosses wine glass to the floor* "A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!"

:smallcool:

I have heard that quote everywhere. Where is it from?

THEChanger
2011-03-29, 08:12 PM
But the BBEG is a thrallherd that has a custom artifact that allows him to have epic leadership for thrallherd's version of leadership.


the BBEG is a thrallherd


thrallherd


"We are the Borg. You will be assimilated"

I believe your query has been answered, organic.

Blisstake
2011-03-29, 08:17 PM
I have heard that quote everywhere. Where is it from?

I want to be the guy, I think.

Gorgondantess
2011-03-29, 08:18 PM
I have heard that quote everywhere. Where is it from?

Yes. It was definitely from I Wanna Be The Guy, and not Castlevania. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg5JNL99308)

Gensh
2011-03-29, 08:18 PM
BBEG: *maltheistic rant* ...and so all the gods must be destroyed, for the good of mankind!
Bard: So you're recruiting, then?
DM: Wait, what?
Monk's Player: It seems like this guy's got the right idea.
DM: ...fine. This campaign is now about going on a deicidal rampage.

Actually happened for the first game I ran. Anyway, writing stuff beforehand is hard, and a lot of times, it won't be entirely relevant by the time the players reach the BBEG, so improvising is a handy skill. Taking a note from the last evil cleric PC I ran, though, casual is creepy. In a world full of battle-scarred brutes with greatswords, nothing is scarier than the man wearing a suit and tophat to battle. Don't have the PCs invade a dark dungeon where the villain threatens to kill them with some doomsday device; have them stumble upon his summer home, where he'll threaten to lop off fingers with his gardening tools. Since your villain is a thrallherd, these sorts of things would be fine, since with all the servants he has, it would be more surprising if he didn't act like a nobleman.

Silva Stormrage
2011-03-29, 08:26 PM
BBEG: *maltheistic rant* ...and so all the gods must be destroyed, for the good of mankind!
Bard: So you're recruiting, then?
DM: Wait, what?
Monk's Player: It seems like this guy's got the right idea.
DM: ...fine. This campaign is now about going on a deicidal rampage.

Actually happened for the first game I ran. Anyway, writing stuff beforehand is hard, and a lot of times, it won't be entirely relevant by the time the players reach the BBEG, so improvising is a handy skill. Taking a note from the last evil cleric PC I ran, though, casual is creepy. In a world full of battle-scarred brutes with greatswords, nothing is scarier than the man wearing a suit and tophat to battle. Don't have the PCs invade a dark dungeon where the villain threatens to kill them with some doomsday device; have them stumble upon his summer home, where he'll threaten to lop off fingers with his gardening tools. Since your villain is a thrallherd, these sorts of things would be fine, since with all the servants he has, it would be more surprising if he didn't act like a nobleman.

I don't think I can do the quote, my players would sign up almost immediatly :smallbiggrin:. It seems that they want to join the most evil side possible, (YES Even the Cleric of Pelor who is also a Saint btw :smallsigh: and yes he has fallen) they have switched sides from Paladins -> Evil Spiders -> Currently Blow up the Entire world (Long Story).
But good idea on the suit and casual wear. I think I might conjure up a lounge chair during the fight :smallbiggrin:.


@TheChanger I thought the Borg were all machines, or are they like the Zerg? Im not much of Star Trek Fan :smallbiggrin:

flabort
2011-03-29, 08:51 PM
The Borg are a bunch of... Cyborgs, half organic, half machines. They add to their ranks by filling up other organics with their little nano-bot whatever. Think the Flood from Halo, only machines instead of spores. And they can adapt to almost anything.
"You will be assimilated" is because they assimilate you into their ranks, (*cough*thrallherd*cough*), control your mind, etc.
And they just. keep. chanting it. And sometimes adding variations on "resistance is futile".
We Are the Borg. You will be assimilated.
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated.
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated.
Lower your weapons. Resistance is Futile.
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated.

Eisirt
2011-03-29, 09:05 PM
"Exterminate! Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!!!"

Silva Stormrage
2011-03-29, 09:17 PM
The Borg are a bunch of... Cyborgs, half organic, half machines. They add to their ranks by filling up other organics with their little nano-bot whatever. Think the Flood from Halo, only machines instead of spores. And they can adapt to almost anything.
"You will be assimilated" is because they assimilate you into their ranks, (*cough*thrallherd*cough*), control your mind, etc.
And they just. keep. chanting it. And sometimes adding variations on "resistance is futile".
We Are the Borg. You will be assimilated.
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated.
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated.
Lower your weapons. Resistance is Futile.
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated.

Well, thats slightly creepy :smallbiggrin:.

Paseo H
2011-03-29, 09:38 PM
My BBEG:

We of The Order are the Father of Arthur and the Son of Mordred. We wield the wisdom of Merlin in our right hand and the malice of Nimue with our left. We are the Truth. We are the price of evil.

And yes I totally stole that last bit from Avenged Sevenfold. :smalltongue:

shadow_archmagi
2011-03-29, 09:51 PM
I've been here before. I've stood where you stand. They called me their hero, The Hero of Man. But why should we save them when they stand for nothing? If they deserve life, LET THEM STAND FOR THEMSELVES.

ZakRenning
2011-03-29, 10:02 PM
"Home. I'm going home."

"Inferior... Beings..."

ToS much? Yes.:smallwink:

TechnOkami
2011-03-29, 10:10 PM
"I can't let you do that, Star Fox." -Wolf O'Donnell

"Life...Dreams...Hope...Where'd they come from? And where are they headed...? These things...I'm going to destroy!!" -Kefka

"Free... at last." -Uka Uka

"This Kingdom, shall fall. And from the ashes shall arise a new order, that will shake, the very foundations, of the world." -Arthas Menethil

flabort
2011-03-29, 10:21 PM
"Not again... with Palmacosta" --Lloyd Irving, upon being questioned why he attacked the great city.

"You've killed me again! Again, Arthur Dent, You've killed me again!"
I may have this one a bit wrong... 'tis bin a while.

And because it bears repeating:
"We are the Borg. You will be assimilated" :smallbiggrin:

Gensh
2011-03-29, 10:28 PM
I've been here before. I've stood where you stand. They called me their hero, The Hero of Man. But why should we save them when they stand for nothing? If they deserve life, LET THEM STAND FOR THEMSELVES.

We've given everything we can. There are no heroes left in man! They'll watch you die to save their lives. They will not stand here by your side!

flabort
2011-03-29, 10:35 PM
"They say the devil finds work for idle hands. I like to keep my hands free and idle. You look like the work he's sent."

Amnestic
2011-03-29, 11:25 PM
"This Kingdom, shall fall. And from the ashes shall arise a new order, that will shake, the very foundations, of the world." -Arthas Menethil

Still one of my favourite cutscenes of all time.

"Live for the Swarm!"- Infested (Zerg) Terrans.

Tjarnet
2011-03-29, 11:38 PM
"Come! Break your weapons upon me! Cast your magic in vain! Your new king has arrived!"-I made it up

"I was here before the world began and I will be here after the world ends. I am closer than the thickness of a shadow, and farther than your mind can comprehend. I am inescapable, I am immortal, I am perfect."-Adapted from quotes from Death from the Discworld series and Yogg-Saron quotes from World of Warcraft

blackjack217
2011-03-30, 12:05 AM
"Yeah, no"
"You're here to save your kingdom? But then who will defend your king from the assassin I planted in his midst?" (start casting a communication spell)

Drakevarg
2011-03-30, 12:37 AM
"When you see an insect upon the ground, do you stop to consider it foolish? No. An insect is so far beneath you that passing judgement on it would be a waste of your energy. That is an accurate comparison to humans and myself." - Father, FMA: Brotherhood (paraphrased)

"Do you not know death when you see it, old man? This is my hour!" - The Witch King, Return of the King

Amiel
2011-03-30, 12:41 AM
"I will end you."

Said in sonorous tones and with emphasis on "end".

Crafty Cultist
2011-03-30, 01:28 AM
I have planed a long time for this. I have planned for wars, for political uprisings and the disruption of this world to make my plans a reality. Then you come in and start screwing everything up. You know what they call people like you? Jackasses. And you know what? I have plans for dealing with jackassses too.

supermonkeyjoe
2011-03-30, 03:57 AM
"You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it" ~Sovereign, Mass effect

"Since when were you under the impression that I was actually here?" ~ My BBEG upon revealing himself to be a projected image.

Eldan
2011-03-30, 04:02 AM
Philosophical one:" At the end of the day. When all of life has drifted away. What is there left?

Constructs and the undead.

Blisstake
2011-03-30, 04:25 AM
Yes. It was definitely from I Wanna Be The Guy, and not Castlevania. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg5JNL99308)

Hah. Never played Castlevania.

Earthwalker
2011-03-30, 04:48 AM
Crash before me I am the rocks on the shore of oblivion – Apocalypse.

Kiss my Axe – Unknown.

dsmiles
2011-03-30, 05:00 AM
"All your base are belong to us."

Eldan
2011-03-30, 05:22 AM
"Exterminate! Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!!!"

"THIS IS NOT A BOSS BATT-LE, IT IS PEST CON-TROL!"

The Rose Dragon
2011-03-30, 05:26 AM
"You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it" ~Sovereign, Mass effect 2

That line is from Mass Effect, not Mass Effect 2. Sovereign wasn't in the second game.

ScionoftheVoid
2011-03-30, 07:25 AM
"Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away." - Sephiroth, Advent Children.

"*laughter*, you have played your part well." - a BBEG apparently just defeated.

Alternatively, "just as planned".

manyslayer
2011-03-30, 07:45 AM
"Has anyone seen my pants?"


Even if you have great lines ready, you may not have time to use them. In one Dragonstorm game I was in, not the BBEG but a big bad SOB sent to kill the party. Dragonstorm is a card-based RPG so the GM would usually put down any cards we could obviously see (race, equipment, etc). The DM puts down this Tigrean (anthropomorphic tiger race) with lots of strength buffs and some heavy duty equipment. Just as the GM opens his mouth to start the bad guy's speech about us not having a chance, we're doomed, etc., two players interupt:
"Dude, I call dibs on his breastplate."
"No way, you got the greatsword from the last guy."
"Well, you can have his greataxe."
They go back and forth a bit. I turn to the bad guy and use this greatest unintended intimidate check ever, "If you leave now, they're probably too busy deciding who will get to pull what organs from your body to notice."
We still had to fight, but the GM just didn't seem as into his big, bad butt-whooping tiger as he had been (and it was quite a tough fight, as I recall).


In a recent game, I had a warmage with a readied spell. Asked for surrender of the cultist leading a mob. Started a spiel so after word two that wasn't "I surrender" I blasted her.

BayardSPSR
2011-03-30, 07:46 AM
"What? Who? Oh, not again. I really don't have time for this. Do I have to kill you all? Oh, well. Let's see if we can multitask; I'm rather busy today."

Ensuing fight takes place as the boss or whoever gets out of bed, showers, shaves, brushes his teeth, etc. He should, of course, win, and then go off to complete his plan leaving the players for dead (but alive, since he's in a rush). I would be very surprised if they don't take it personally.

flabort
2011-03-30, 10:02 AM
I love that axe quote earthwalker put up.

"Why have you come here? To vanquish evil?
Nay, it is the murderers as yourselves who are evil! Be gone!"
This one sounds familiar, but comes from no source I can think of.

"This is a Library! BE. QUITE! Or I will have to quite you myself!"

Shademan
2011-03-30, 11:45 AM
"If I get this right...you're saying...you're my father!?"
"FATHER!? HAA HAA HAA! No...You are my CLONE."

they later shot him in the face with barrista the ballista
he got better

Waker
2011-03-30, 11:58 AM
"For a time I longed for immortality but even the gods may die. Do you know what can withstand the passing of ages though? Legend. But no matter how great a hero may be, he is limited by the villain he faces. It is the villain who is remembered by the storytellers for it is he whom the hero must overcome. The hero is only a hero because he must face the villain, the villain stands on his own. And today I shall become a Legend unlike any other."

Random villain I made up.

Yukitsu
2011-03-30, 12:10 PM
"I'm sick of you jerks trashing this city! There are no evil cults to uproot! There are no hidden monsters! The shopkeepers are not secretely manipulating commodity prices! The peasants do not appreciate you breaking into their homes to look for potions!"

Provengreil
2011-03-30, 12:24 PM
"For a time I longed for immortality but even the gods may die. Do you know what can withstand the passing of ages though? Legend. But no matter how great a hero may be, he is limited by the villain he faces. It is the villain who is remembered by the storytellers for it is he whom the hero must overcome. The hero is only a hero because he must face the villain, the villain stands on his own. And today I shall become a Legend unlike any other."

Random villain I made up.

sounds like the same school of thought as tarquin.

for humor:
"Gods, you all are annoying. first i have to kill you, then loot you, then inventory your stuff, sort it into piles of what i want and don't, figure out if any of it is better used by my minions instead of a simple sale, get it to where it needs to go, and I only ever get it in time for the next group of you! I'm an (evil overlord/mastermind/doctor), not an accountant! is that your plan, keep me so busy counting money that I never get to take over the world?"

For threatening baddies:
"Well now, what have we here? The little heroes that could, I think. You've beaten my minions, passed my traps, wrecked much of my plans, and surpassed all of my expectations along the way...I suppose my death is now inevitable too? How tiring, but if you want something done, as they say."

hamlet
2011-03-30, 12:34 PM
"The Horror! The Horror!" -- Mr. Kurtz.

Or, alternatively, if you're really twisted . . .

"Mr. Kurtz? He dead!"

Hatchet91
2011-03-30, 12:34 PM
Party: BBEG: "What is a man!?" *tosses wine glass to the floor* "A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!"

:smallcool:

This is a recurring joke in some of our campaigns, we actualy have an assasin who (name etzio parmesan) bought sever glass goblets just so he could renact this almost every dramatic encounter we have. too bad the dm hasnt found a good place for this to be effective but he still carries like 5 goblets waiting.

Necroticplague
2011-03-30, 01:52 PM
"Hold on, let me see if I can fit this in my schedule. *looks at peice of paper with this list on it*

0600 Wake up
0615 Bathe+Brush Teeth
0700 Get dressed+shave
0730 Eat breakfast
0745 Magically boost powers
0800 Kill gods
1200 Subjudgate peasents
1300 Raise funds
1600 Arrange to topple Good Kingdoms
Leftover-2200 Make magic items/Deal with assassins
2200 Rest to restore Power Points and Spells
0500 Shape Soulmelds

Sorry, right now I should be killing gods. Try coming back at about 6 o'clock. You might want to be a little early, otherwise you'le have to wait in the really long line of people to kill me."

Telasi
2011-03-30, 02:20 PM
"And so it has come to battle at the last. A pity. Nonetheless, you have come thus far to face me, and so <PC1>, <PC2>, <PC3>, etc., I salute you. It is said men are measured by their foes. If that is true, I am honored to have enemies of such quality. Now let us end this, warrior to warrior, as it was meant to be. Lay on, and let the gods discern who is proven worthy this day."

Forum Explorer
2011-03-30, 02:29 PM
"Why do they all come to me to die? :smallsigh:"

Choco
2011-03-30, 02:38 PM
The PC's were fighting a Mummy Lord's minions right outside the final room that contained his sarcophagus. About 3 rounds into the fight, the door slams open and the Mummy Lord enters the fight with the following line:

"Can't you guys be quiet? I am TRYING to rest in peace here!"

I just pulled that out on the spot, but looking back it should work nicely for any undead.

blackjack217
2011-03-30, 02:44 PM
"I'm going to beat you, like a boss"

Silva Stormrage
2011-03-30, 02:55 PM
"Hold on, let me see if I can fit this in my schedule. *looks at peice of paper with this list on it*

0600 Wake up
0615 Bathe+Brush Teeth
0700 Get dressed+shave
0730 Eat breakfast
0745 Magically boost powers
0800 Kill gods
1200 Subjudgate peasents
1300 Raise funds
1600 Arrange to topple Good Kingdoms
Leftover-2200 Make magic items/Deal with assassins
2200 Rest to restore Power Points and Spells
0500 Shape Soulmelds

Sorry, right now I should be killing gods. Try coming back at about 6 o'clock. You might want to be a little early, otherwise you'le have to wait in the really long line of people to kill me."

Okay that is hilarious, I may have my players find a ToDo list or schedule on the boss once they defeat him.

I personally enjoy these two from Azien in Bleach

You thought you could destroy me by striking with power? How naïve. ...no perhaps we differ in our basic understandings of the word "power". I shall enlighten you. This is what is known as "power"

Why are you putting so much distance between us? It's a foolish thought for any reason though. Distance only has meaning in a fight between equals. With you and I, distance holds no meaning at all. Watch... See how easily I can reach your heart. (Slightly Altered)

Cheesy74
2011-03-30, 02:58 PM
"And so it has come to battle at the last. A pity. Nonetheless, you have come thus far to face me, and so <PC1>, <PC2>, <PC3>, etc., I salute you. It is said men are measured by their foes. If that is true, I am honored to have enemies of such quality. Now let us end this, warrior to warrior, as it was meant to be. Lay on, and let the gods discern who is proven worthy this day."
Short monologues before the finale always have the best impact. Here's mine from my last campaign.

"The world crumbles beneath you. Plants freeze. Darkness reigns. Life as you know it ends. Only my brood, which even now marches inexorably across this earth, survives. I am the end of a world that has already ended. Do you really think you can stop me?" - Father Llymic

Telasi
2011-03-30, 03:06 PM
Short monologues before the finale always have the best impact. Here's mine from my last campaign.

"The world crumbles beneath you. Plants freeze. Darkness reigns. Life as you know it ends. Only my brood, which even now marches inexorably across this earth, survives. I am the end of a world that has already ended. Do you really think you can stop me?" - Father Llymic

I'm not entirely sure whether that's a compliment or criticism.

Either way, yours is nice.

shadow_archmagi
2011-03-30, 03:11 PM
"And so it has come to battle at the last. A pity. Nonetheless, you have come thus far to face me, and so <PC1>, <PC2>, <PC3>, etc., I salute you. It is said men are measured by their foes. If that is true, I am honored to have enemies of such quality. Now let us end this, warrior to warrior, as it was meant to be. Lay on, and let the gods discern who is proven worthy this day."

No no no no, it's

BOSS: "And so it has come to battle at the last. A pity. Nonetheless, you have come thus far to face me, and so <PC1>, <PC3>, <PC4>, etc., I salute you. It is said men are measured by their foes. If that is true, I am honored to have enemies of such quality. Now let us end this, warrior to warrior, as it was meant to be. Lay on, and let the gods discern who is proven worthy this day."

<PC2> "Hey!"

Just_Ice
2011-03-30, 03:23 PM
"The Gods couldn't bring you back from where I'm sending you."

"It's as if you hadn't noticed the axe made of skulls of the last fourty blokes like you."

"My long ears get awful cold in the winter. You know, your legs would be the perfect thing to add to my hat! What a happy coincidence!"

Telasi
2011-03-30, 03:32 PM
No no no no, it's

BOSS: "And so it has come to battle at the last. A pity. Nonetheless, you have come thus far to face me, and so <PC1>, <PC3>, <PC4>, etc., I salute you. It is said men are measured by their foes. If that is true, I am honored to have enemies of such quality. Now let us end this, warrior to warrior, as it was meant to be. Lay on, and let the gods discern who is proven worthy this day."

<PC2> "Hey!"

Nice. :smallbiggrin:

Pokonic
2011-03-30, 03:40 PM
For any insane/omicidel mage with powers cosmic in scope.

"Your lives have already ended. Did you belive I would just let you walz into my domaine and let you kill me? I let you live to amuse me, and the fact your very soul was not obliterated when you came in here proves that! I knew you were coming a thousand years before for you were born! Ingnorant fools! I am older than the gods you worship! The obyrithes themselves tremble at my power! I am above any other being in creation!Bow to me!
My Will Be Done!

BRC
2011-03-30, 04:00 PM
" Before you strike, let me tell you something about my organization. I have, working for me, Ten archmages, each quite mad and powerful enough to destroy a kingdom. I have the Traitor Knights, Fifteen champions cursed to forever wander the earth, laying waste and claiming lives. I have a pair of ancient dragons who owe me a favor, three cults of necromancers and four cults of demon worshipers, one of which includes several high ranking government officials. I have a tribe of trolls camped in the swamplands and three ogre clans in the mountains. The leader of the western Orcs obeys my every command, and the Lich Lord of forsaken city would die for me, had he not already done so. I have countless minor demons, rogue wizards and hired assassins. I have an army of bloodthirsty bandits, cutthroat mercenaries, and merciless thieves, plus psychopaths, thugs, murders and killers of every variety.

If I gave the word, they would plunge the world into the darkest type of chaos. The type of chaos that brings down empires and destroy civilizations, the type of chaos that burns a gash into history. In fact, I wouldn't have to say anything, I would merely need to be silent. These people would like to do nothing more than burn and destroy everything they could, only one thing stops them.
Me.
They are all loyal to me. I have channeled their petty evils and mindless cruelty towards a single goal, they restrain themselves and hold back their efforts to avoid displeasing me. I have supported them and allowed them to grow in power, and as a result they do my bidding.
My will is all that stands between the world as you know it and an age of destruction and conflict the likes of which you cannot imagine.

So, Heroes, go ahead. Ready your blades and strike me down. Chop off my head and burn my body to ashes. But, remember what I have told you here, and remember this. If you kill me, you will emerge from this fortress to find a world in flames."

-Something I just made up right now.

Necroticplague
2011-03-30, 04:13 PM
Okay that is hilarious, I may have my players find a ToDo list or schedule on the boss once they defeat him.


The best part is that the next campaign, my players used it. It was an epic evil gestalt campaign, so that was pretty much their daily lives, and they even used that exact speech.

Cerlis
2011-03-30, 06:13 PM
I think the borg thing is better if you dont put emphasis on the "Will". the zombies or robots or magical aberrations or whatever are just all monotone and robotic. you fight the big one and finally kill it, everythings good. looting the treasure, when it turns back on, its face ripped off and its parts showing. Its twitching and obviously insane. Before it charges "We are the borg, you WILL be assimulated!" WHen it charges and grapples the most vulnerable player.

some guy
2011-03-30, 06:23 PM
I always liked Firkraag's (the red dragon from Baldur's Gate II) battlecry of "Oh bother.". It really sounded quite annoyed and bored, which fits a dragon.

What makes it better is that I just found out that Firkraag was voiced by Jim Cummings, who also voiced Winnie the Pooh.

Kirbot
2011-03-30, 06:39 PM
"I have answered no summoning of yours, foolish mortal(s). You have merely opened the door, and I have passed through it. For this, you shall be rewarded. Join me now... as my slave(s)."

- Chaos, from Loom (slight adaptation)

claricorp
2011-03-30, 07:32 PM
"How much blood must you spill of those unique and incredible creatures that reside here before you are satisfied? Look upon your bloodied blades and dirty armor, is this what makes you feel powerful? Well, lets see what you do with an actual challenge then."

Used that for a smallish BBEG for a campaign I ran, he was a rakshasa.

Vknight
2011-03-30, 08:20 PM
Here are a few

(Villain from the past the party saw through a vision who saw them.)
"You come finally it has been many years for me, but months for you. Can you destroy that of which the gods fear and tremble beneath for I am child of the shapers of reality lord of lords king of kings. My power is that you are to me insects of no worth and yet you presist, so be it your doom as well."

Some more
"All this work all this time assembling together those weapons armors. Swords to cut my flesh armies to fight against me the very gods to challenge my rule. Yet I stand, yet I stand, now tremble beneath that of your new lord."

"You have destroyed my hold on this town. Broken my power killed my men, you do this to stop me. Yet well you come to finish what has been started you do not see there are none here to guard me were are they I wonder?"

"So this is my end he he (laughs then starts to cough) so it may be. Your blade has struck me down let your victory taste sweet before it turns bitter."

"You should not fear me nor my Half-Giant/Half-Dragon. Rather you should fear the group of rogues behind you about to fire."

TheAmishPirate
2011-03-30, 10:58 PM
BBEG: Come now, what's so great about this plane?
PC: Sorry, but we've come to like it here.
BBEG: Oh? Well then you're going to love it's grand finale!

Blisstake
2011-03-30, 11:41 PM
"Let us fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men!"

Tjarnet
2011-03-30, 11:47 PM
Mad scientist/researcher type-
"Now I just need-Damn! I'm out of bone dust. Where am I going to get it at this time of-" *notices party* "Ah! Great timing, my friends! You're just in time to help me with my latest experiment! Could you just stand over here, please?" *attacks*

Prophet type-
*preaching to a crowd*"Close your hearts to pity. Act not in kindness. Those who are now in power have not, and that is why you are at this lowly station. But believe me, soon we will rise, and throw off our chains, and carve our place in a new world!"*Notices party* "Look! A group of the fascist oppressors has arrived to defeat you before we even begin! Attack them! Our revolution will start with them!"

Amiel
2011-03-31, 12:21 AM
"Let us fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men!"

Mulan would like a word with you.

Shademan
2011-03-31, 06:27 AM
kind of a villain speech...or song rather.
In a game I play one player is a CE sorcerer with some quite powerful fire spells. so I wrote 'er this 'ere song:

the king of FIRE


Your game is done
your life forfeit
you have invoked my hatred
hear my fire's plaudit

Beg me for mercy
maybe I'll listen
or maybe you'll burn in this prison


you cant be much wise, to do this to me
when you die in my fire then you will see


I am KING of FIRE, I am FLAMES and MIGHT
I will CRUSH your dreams beneath my feet toNIGHT
I am hatred and death and a searing LIGHT
get up from your knees and prepare to FIGHT
RA RAAAA RA!


I'll burn off your face, hahaHA
Torch your homestead
you dare to OPPOSE ME!
so you'll soon be real dead

My blood is now boiling
anger fills my heart
and now you shall face my INFERNAL wrath!

I shall be happy, when your bones are churned
when the oceans are boiling...and everything BURNS!

I am KING of FIRE, I am FLAMES and MIGHT
I will CRUSH your dreams beneath my feet toNIGHT
I am hatred and death and a searing LIGHT
get up from your knees and prepare to FIGHT

I am KING of FIRE, I am FLAMES and MIGHT
I will CRUSH your dreams beneath my feet toNIGHT
I am hatred and death and a searing LIGHT
get up from your knees and prepare to FIGHT
RA RAAAA RA!


Melody stolen from here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRXDGNzP5Ck It is sort of a translation, but made more D&D relevant ;)

Malevolence
2011-03-31, 07:39 AM
Party: "Die monster, you don't belong in this world!"
BBEG: "It is not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by HUMANS who wish to pay ME tribute!"
Party: "Tribute!? You steal mens souls, and make them your slaves!"
BBEG: "Perhaps the same could be said of all religions."
Party: "Your words are as empty as your soul. Mankind ill needs a saviour such as you."
BBEG: "What is a man!?" *tosses wine glass enchanted with save or die at the party* "A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!"

:smallcool:

I fixed it.

Inkpencil
2011-03-31, 09:06 AM
http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0531.html

Is anything creepier than evil poetry?

term1nally s1ck
2011-03-31, 12:30 PM
"Didn't I kill you once already today? Oh right, I had to time jump to get away from those things....Sigh...can we get to today's fun parts yet? I want to have some spare time to chill before I have to go take out Pelor again."

blackjack217
2011-03-31, 02:00 PM
I've always wanted to have a villain cut off his own arm and teleport it to his cleric associate when it became obvious he was about to lose.

Choco
2011-03-31, 02:34 PM
I've always wanted to have a villain cut off his own arm and teleport it to his cleric associate when it became obvious he was about to lose.

Unfortunately that will not work in 3.5, as resurrection specifies that the body part had to have been attached at the time of death.

On topic, I had a villain do the following once, to make up for all the times the PC's/players have done the same:

PC's finally encounter the villain after fighting through the dungeon:

PC's: "HA, there you are <villain>, prep..."
Villain: "Oh shut up" *casts quickened Silence and starts the fight*

Toofey
2011-03-31, 02:47 PM
"Guess who just graduated to annoyance"

"You say you serve the god of light, then tell him I'm coming" (to a Paladin serving Lathander, one of the best deaths I've given a PC)

druid91
2011-03-31, 02:57 PM
I don't think I can do the quote, my players would sign up almost immediatly :smallbiggrin:. It seems that they want to join the most evil side possible, (YES Even the Cleric of Pelor who is also a Saint btw :smallsigh: and yes he has fallen) they have switched sides from Paladins -> Evil Spiders -> Currently Blow up the Entire world (Long Story).
But good idea on the suit and casual wear. I think I might conjure up a lounge chair during the fight :smallbiggrin:.


@TheChanger I thought the Borg were all machines, or are they like the Zerg? Im not much of Star Trek Fan :smallbiggrin:

See that's the problem. It's Pelor. He has ascended beyond the illusion of goodness to join the burning hate.

Ajadea
2011-03-31, 03:03 PM
"You really are a bunch of idiots. Have you learned nothing from history? Kill me, and someone else will rise again to destroy your civilization. I have broken your homeland, razed your cities, and no one will save you this time.

I have given you chance after chance. A chance for mercy, a chance to survive, a chance to be remembered. You have denied them all. If your rulers wish not for peace, I see no reason not to begin the end." *eyes begin glowing* "I call upon the twelve old ones..."

Made up right now.

Silva Stormrage
2011-03-31, 03:07 PM
See that's the problem. It's Pelor. He has ascended beyond the illusion of goodness to join the burning hate.

Thats... a good point, somewhat. His plan right now is to essentially nuke the world soooo it still removes all of pelor's followers and he would still be betraying his god but eh.

Vknight
2011-03-31, 05:59 PM
"So tonight is that of which is your final pitfull days alive say forgone words to those you love and cherish for after this you will be no more"

"As those last pitful seconds burn away from your corpse let it be known that just as the hundreds before you have fallen so shall you"

"Listen theres no point in us having this fight. I mean look at you all a bard, a dead man, a elf, a bear, a wizard, a traitor to my people, and a dwarf. you have hounded me yet in the end I've gained this power I control this fortress and am one with it you have failed and let it be remebered that the hero of the Eladrin slaughetered the worthless retches that tried to stop his majnificent dream!"

(Same Guy at deaths door)
"I die so orthers may come forth to conquer and bring about are revival and you die with me after all none of you thought to not damage the crystal this weapon shall fall but mark are return as lords of this realm!"

"Tell me hero why do you fight if not for your own glory? I fight so there may never be another like me so the world has no more wars no more pain yet you what is it you fight for?"

Amnestic
2011-04-01, 09:31 PM
Malygos (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubFUb6crsGw): Lesser beings, intruding here? A shame that your excess courage does not compensate for your stupidity!

A lot of (World of) Warcraft quotes do pretty well actually, but I chose Malygos because he's voiced by Cam Clarke <3

Leliel
2011-04-01, 09:40 PM
Utopian: "For the sake of the all, the few must suffer. I'm sorry."

Alien: "I see...so, you believe that you will shine against the darkness, a star against the dark. You would shine brightly, an ever burning sun, looking defiantly at the infinite hoards of shadow and despair.

"My race once thought as you did, a long time ago. But now, I know; even stars die. And one day, all shall be void, as there was before.

"Now, return to it."

World Destroyer: "I am become death."

Vulaas
2011-04-01, 11:40 PM
Dresden Files game.
So, this adventure started mostly because my character was a scion of something dark and terrible and orphaned in the mortal realm. As a result, he wanted most to find out his lineage. Long story short, he opened a gate to the Outer realms accidentally, and our BBEG was the one who caused me to get the book that caused it. He hints at knowing John's (the scion) true heritage, and claims he will tell him what he knows right before killing him.

Cue long, awesome fight with the BBEG. We beat him, but it's a close thing. Right before beating him, my character yells at him, begging to know what he knows of John's lineage. The boss quote I get?

"Your mother's a wh*********!"

*mutter mutter, BBEG with nothing better to do than insult my heritage*

The_JJ
2011-04-02, 03:52 AM
Written on the walls of the ancient temple complex, in dark reddish-brown 'paint.' No encounters, BTW, DM dumped all her time into writing up godawful detailed descriptions of each room and courtyard.

"He is death."

"It's gone dark. Why's it so dark?"

"He comes."

"Death."

"He waits."

"Fear."

"We were not ready."

"Fear him."

"He waits."

"I'm alone. Were are the others?"

"Why? They said we'd be safe."

"But they said we would destroy him. The prophecy" -splatter-

"He comes."

"He waits."

"Fear him."

"You are not ready."

"I am not alone. He is" -splatter-

"getoutgetoutgetout-"

"He comes for you."

"He waits for you."

"You should fear him."

"Get out."

"You are not alone."

Upon reading this, in the middle of a massive domed over thing with a hole in the roof, in the patch of moonlight shining through, our NPC buddy puts a two foot long spike into our cleric's skull and says... nothing. Goddamn nothing. The GM just sits there smiling this evil grin, rolling dice, describing the shadow creatures the guy summoned, and that's about it. The cleric's player handles all the 'don't forget x to AC' and 'take 30 damage' kind of minutia. We finally drop the guy, we start high fiving and everything, our DM nods, smiles at us, opens her mouth to congratulate us... and the cleric's player starts laughing.

His in character laugh.

'Johan': "You are not alone."
DM: Johan's body pulls itself to it's feet, a little unsteady. The moon has moved as you fought, and now only half his face is lit. Shadows crawl over his face, out of his eyes, out of his mouth, out of the hole in his head.
'Johan': "It's getting dark, don't you think? Heheheheheh."

The bastards. They planned it from the start.

Marillion
2011-04-02, 12:59 PM
"This place, it's a horror show. If the guy next to you decides to knock you out of this world forever, he can do it with just a piece of metal or even his bare hand. You blobs, you sit here in this room and I can smell the rot of dead animals soaking in the acid of your guts. You suck the life from the innocent creatures of this world just so you can clock another day. You're machines that run on terror and pain and mutilation of other lives. You'll scrape the world clean of every green and living thing until starvation takes every one of you, your desperation to put off death leading to the ultimate death of everybody and everything. I can't believe you aren't all paralyzed by the pure, naked horror of this place."

PC: "Uh, thank you."

flabort
2011-04-02, 07:36 PM
This one requires your players to enter the room, and then search through the various useless magic gizmos on the far end of the room.
"And you thought I was just a corpse, my last act to write in that spellbook you took. And so you just barge in, dig through all my stuff. The door to my study is pretty loud, no? And now that I'm closest to the door, I have the upper hand. Prepare. Prepare to meet the ones you pray to. Prepare for your death."
Cue battle.

banthesun
2011-04-02, 08:51 PM
From my last campaign, upon his defeat:

"Ugh, well I hope you're ready for them."

From my next campaign:

"You'd really kill me? Humanity is spent! You've burned everything to fight me, and now I'm all you have left! Are you really so bloody-minded as to throw that away?!"

shadow_archmagi
2011-04-02, 09:50 PM
"If you can't keep up, don't step up. You'll just die."

Not the best in the world, but not bad either.

Jep
2011-04-02, 11:12 PM
I... have too many of these.

Aspect of the Far Realm, eldritch abomination with a snarky sense of humour;
"Scream for me, I want to know you're having fun."

A 100 foot cubed gelatinous cube god;
"All will become... me."

A demonlord who's castle was just invaded by the party, who were all humans;
"Gah, Humans! My mother was right, Humans make EVERYTHING worse!"

Vknight
2011-04-02, 11:19 PM
"I'm sorry who are all you again? How did you get here? Is my pet warforged-dragon ok? Why are you all covered in blood?"

*Party answers question. Then infroms man there taking him into custody*

"Not so fast!"

*Rips off shirt*

"Flash!"

*Flash ruin on shirt activates and he's gone replaced by a second Warforged-Dragon*

Beowulf DW
2011-04-02, 11:58 PM
If the PCs are approaching epic level at the end of a long campaign.

"You intend to kill me now? Why? Look what I've done for you! Would you have been even a fraction of what you are now without me? I am the source from which you flow. To destroy me is to destroy what makes you you!"

"Do you realize who I am? I'm the GODDAMN BATMAN!"
(Only really works if it's a vampire.)

Forum Explorer
2011-04-03, 12:11 PM
*Heroes burst into room*

"Prepare to face justice for your crimes villian!"

*Sees old man with young girl on his knee*

"Before you do that can you please explain to my granddaughter why I can't keep reading her favirote book to her"

"What? Well its because ummm you're evil and hurting people?"

Grandaughter: "Why are you stealing my brithday present!?"

"Present?!?!"

"Oh yes I said she could have anything she wanted for her birthday and she asked for to be the ruler of the world."

"What?!"

"Oh yes just like her mother....ahh the bards still sing about her reign of terror."

"Well then we will stop you anyways. Its time to fight."

"very well" *Pulls lever dropping PCs into a pit full of dire crocodiles.

Beowulf DW
2011-04-03, 12:19 PM
*Heroes burst into room*

"Prepare to face justice for your crimes villian!"

*Sees old man with young girl on his knee*

"Before you do that can you please explain to my granddaughter why I can't keep reading her favirote book to her"

"What? Well its because ummm you're evil and hurting people?"

Grandaughter: "Why are you stealing my brithday present!?"

"Present?!?!"

"Oh yes I said she could have anything she wanted for her birthday and she asked for to be the ruler of the world."

"What?!"

"Oh yes just like her mother....ahh the bards still sing about her reign of terror."

"Well then we will stop you anyways. Its time to fight."

"very well" *Pulls lever dropping PCs into a pit full of dire crocodiles.

Evil Overlord List For The Win.

vcvcvc12
2011-04-04, 01:50 AM
1) Have villain beg for death.:smallsigh:
2) Have his speech quickly get more and more incoherent.:smallconfused:
3) Twitchy eyes, random yelling, starts getting violent.:smallmad:
4) He attacks the protagonists while screaming random sounds, destroying the room in the process.:smalleek:

You now have a completely insane villain.

Noedig
2011-04-04, 10:21 AM
Child BBEG:
Players- We've come to put an end to your evi- Wait a minute. Wheres the demon lord?
BBEG- But Im having fun! Mr. Red said it was ok if I broke some toys. Listen to him! He said it was ok!*Holds up a horned teddy bear* Whats that Mr Red? Mr. Red thinks I should I break naughty toys like you.

Other BBEGs:
For the love of god, KILL ME!

cd4
2011-04-04, 03:46 PM
The players have been fighting the bad guys army for most of the game.

BBEG: So I, who has created an empire, is called a villain. You who are supposedly heroes, Can you tell me what you have created? I think not.

- Paraphrased from Half Life 2

shadow_archmagi
2011-04-04, 06:43 PM
The players have been fighting the bad guys army for most of the game.

BBEG: So I, who has created an empire, is called a villain. You who are supposedly heroes, Can you tell me what you have created? I think not.

- Paraphrased from Half Life 2

Why paraphrase when you can use the original?

Tell me, if you can: you have destroyed so much — what is it exactly that you have created? Can you name even one thing? ... I thought not.

Ezeze
2011-04-04, 07:29 PM
I can smell the rot of dead animals soaking in the acid of your guts. You suck the life from the innocent creatures of this world just so you can clock another day. You're machines that run on terror and pain and mutilation of other lives.

Pssh

I'm a vegetarian.

Necroticplague
2011-04-04, 08:15 PM
Pssh

I'm a vegetarian.

"Hear a talk of plants, for they live still. Ask the drydad, the ent, or the druid. They know that the forest is alive, and not just for that that moves. Even even a plant is uprooted, it may shreik one final breath. They see, creep, think, and breath. So tell me, what gives you so much more right then them? Why do you have trouble killing the man in self defense, but none at the thought of murdering a plant to be that which sustains for a day? Humanity is a destructive being, which does little but take, and produces little. And when things are produced,they are but aberattions of their former selves. You put in rock, you get out steel. It is the intolerable justices such as these that I must destroy. And because you are both the problem, and an obstacle, you will die where you stand."

Dr. Steve
2011-04-05, 12:42 AM
Depends entirely on your players, if they're not very serious they're just going to make fun of the monologue. That said, here are some examples/ideas! Working on the information the your BBEG was a thrallherd (hope I didn't misread that!)

---
Use the vast number of thralls in the speech e.g. make them a laugh track, or have them chanting something foreboding while BBEG is doing socery or something

---
"You broke into MY house, killed MY friends, stole MY stuff and now you're the GOOD guys? I think not."

---
A group of 10 thralls comes out dressed in the garb of the town guard. [Thralls] "You're under arrest for breaking and entering as well as over 50 counts of assault and battery..."

---
BBEG sends 15 thralls out, each with an activity and 2-3 names pinned to their shirts. "No doubt you've noticed the paper attached to my friends over there. If you're curious it list they're livlihood and the names of their wives and children. Oh, by the way, thralls? ...CHARGE!"

---
BBEG: Oh, put those things away. We all know what's going to happen. You'll swing your sword or swish your wand, I'll fly away, and probably say something like, "I'll be back!" And then I'll flutter off over the horizon and we won't see each for... about a week. And then we'll do the same thing again.
Adventurer: Your word play will not trick me, villain!
[he attacks BBEG]
BBEG: No Wait! I'll be back- you'll see! Bwah-ha-ha-ha.
[flutters over the horizon then reappears]
BBEG: [reappears in front of adventurer] See what I mean?
(that maaaaay have been taken from something, cookie to who know's what from!)

---
BBEG finishes up speech with, "oh and one more thing I diverted a nearby river to the dungeon entrance, I sincerly hope you put ranks in swim. I know I did."

---
BBEG: "Do you know the best part about thralls?"
Adventurer: "No, what?"
BBEG: [stabs a thrall off handedly] "You and I both know that they're just temporarily under my control."
Adventurer: [confused about why BBEG is stabbing his own minions] "What's that got to do with anything?"
BBEG: [kills another one while speaking] "I wasn't finished..."
Adventurer: "Stop it."
BBEG: [breaking the fingers of one thrall] "All these men, women, and children? Don't you think they'd make excellent hostages?"
Adventurer: ...
BBEG: [Pauses for a moment] "Say, I have a wonderful idea!"

---
Adventurer: "Avast, for we have felled you body guard foul beast [or whatever equivilent]"
BBEG: [snaps fingers, and all of his thralls put out daggers and point them at their own stomachs] (Lazily) "Please remove you're weapons and armor, bags will be collected by Timmy"
Adeventurer: "Who's Timmy?"
BBEG: [A small child steps forward with a knife held to his throat] "The boy who'll be taking your possesions"



These kinda play the field I didn't include anything grimdark since there seems to be a lot of them aleady posted! Also thralls are the best chip to play when you're the BBEG.

Forum Explorer
2011-04-05, 12:49 AM
Popped into my head

Break into a room cultists are surronding the BBEG chanting

"Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Chaka Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Chaka Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Chaka Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Chaka Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Chaka"

BBEG starts to sing

"I can't stop this feeling, deep inside of me...Girl you just don't relize" Music stops with a screech when the BBEG relizes the PCs have entered the room.

"How dare you interupt my hit single. Minions destroy them!"


Or instead they break in and the BBEG is stark naked.

"I have one rule about naked me time. And that's no interrupting naked me time! :smallfurious:"

Proceeds to beat the crap out of PCs

Silva Stormrage
2011-04-05, 02:10 AM
Depends entirely on your players, if they're not very serious they're just going to make fun of the monologue. That said, here are some examples/ideas! Working on the information the your BBEG was a thrallherd (hope I didn't misread that!)

---
Use the vast number of thralls in the speech e.g. make them a laugh track, or have them chanting something foreboding while BBEG is doing socery or something

---
"You broke into MY house, killed MY friends, stole MY stuff and now you're the GOOD guys? I think not."

---
A group of 10 thralls comes out dressed in the garb of the town guard. [Thralls] "You're under arrest for breaking and entering as well as over 50 counts of assault and battery..."

---
BBEG sends 15 thralls out, each with an activity and 2-3 names pinned to their shirts. "No doubt you've noticed the paper attached to my friends over there. If you're curious it list they're livlihood and the names of their wives and children. Oh, by the way, thralls? ...CHARGE!"

---
BBEG: Oh, put those things away. We all know what's going to happen. You'll swing your sword or swish your wand, I'll fly away, and probably say something like, "I'll be back!" And then I'll flutter off over the horizon and we won't see each for... about a week. And then we'll do the same thing again.
Adventurer: Your word play will not trick me, villain!
[he attacks BBEG]
BBEG: No Wait! I'll be back- you'll see! Bwah-ha-ha-ha.
[flutters over the horizon then reappears]
BBEG: [reappears in front of adventurer] See what I mean?
(that maaaaay have been taken from something, cookie to who know's what from!)

---
BBEG finishes up speech with, "oh and one more thing I diverted a nearby river to the dungeon entrance, I sincerly hope you put ranks in swim. I know I did."

---
BBEG: "Do you know the best part about thralls?"
Adventurer: "No, what?"
BBEG: [stabs a thrall off handedly] "You and I both know that they're just temporarily under my control."
Adventurer: [confused about why BBEG is stabbing his own minions] "What's that got to do with anything?"
BBEG: [kills another one while speaking] "I wasn't finished..."
Adventurer: "Stop it."
BBEG: [breaking the fingers of one thrall] "All these men, women, and children? Don't you think they'd make excellent hostages?"
Adventurer: ...
BBEG: [Pauses for a moment] "Say, I have a wonderful idea!"

---
Adventurer: "Avast, for we have felled you body guard foul beast [or whatever equivilent]"
BBEG: [snaps fingers, and all of his thralls put out daggers and point them at their own stomachs] (Lazily) "Please remove you're weapons and armor, bags will be collected by Timmy"
Adeventurer: "Who's Timmy?"
BBEG: [A small child steps forward with a knife held to his throat] "The boy who'll be taking your possesions"



These kinda play the field I didn't include anything grimdark since there seems to be a lot of them aleady posted! Also thralls are the best chip to play when you're the BBEG.

Okay these are awesome and your amazing. I am defiantly using 1-3. I would use everyone one but my players are ALSO evil, (they don't think so but there is no way they can convince me that Pelor would support destroying every living thing on all the planes except celestial and hell). This is completely in character for the BBEG. Oh and also for the cookie its from Samurai Jack :smallbiggrin:.

Dr. Steve
2011-04-05, 02:45 AM
Okay these are awesome and your amazing. I am defiantly using 1-3. I would use everyone one but my players are ALSO evil, (they don't think so but there is no way they can convince me that Pelor would support destroying every living thing on all the planes except celestial and hell). This is completely in character for the BBEG. Oh and also for the cookie its from Samurai Jack :smallbiggrin:.

Glad to hear you found something in there you liked!
Also, you nailed it on the first try, so have a cookie (love that show).

TwylyghT
2011-07-28, 06:14 AM
Ooh...you just made my next bbeg (I don't always use dragons). That's an insane bard who specializes in Perform: Theatre, that's what that is.

Sorry for some minor thread necromancy, but I had to comment on this, as I am using a bard currently for a BBEG.

"A famous bard before me had some rambling about "All the words a stage" or some such drivel, I tend to find his work rather stuffy and bland. But in this case I find a certain simple brilliance to the line, and if we consider this world we trek a stage, it gives me no small amount of pleasure to inform you that your curtain has fallen"

And in a modern low scale supers setting, the players where tracking down a villain who had kidnapped the wife of one of the players. The trail leads them to an old toy store, built in a cylindrical style with a central show floor. The main floor features a giant chess board, with the captured wife nailed to the white king, unconscious and breathing very shallow. Pinned to whats left to her clothing is a paper note, folded over and addressed to the husband. Written inside was the one word message "Checkmate". Then there was something about demolition charges on the building AND the ones packed into the white king for good measure.

Gamgee
2011-07-28, 01:01 PM
"So this is what you amount to, no more than a pathetic thug trying to steal from old people. I always knew the Mandalorians would sink the depths of depravity after we defeated them. Time to best you as easily I did your fellows in the wars." Que the toughest character in the party getting taken down 30 pegs in 6 rounds.

He got disarmed, force chocked the next round for a few rounds, and then hurled with incredible force into a lightpost almost breaking his back. Then the grey Jedi cut his legs and left him to pass out into unconscious in the middle of the street. He's lucky to have survived, he also smarted up after the ass kicking and stopped being an ass.

The other boss talked in a language or method of communication they couldn't understand. Think like the weird voice int his. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdDXMG9jvwg