View Full Version : Fair Elves [PEACH possible WIP]

2011-03-30, 12:05 PM
Here is my first ever homebrew creation
I hope you like it
essentially they are flavored sorcerer/warlock elves

Fair Elves

Fair Elves mingle freely among the elven community. They are known for many of the same things that high elves are renown for such as poetry dance and song. However they have something more, in all of the lands they are the most beautiful creatures. The Fair Elves are the fairest and most smooth tongued of the Elves. They are naturally attracted to each other and over the millennia they have become an offshoot of the elven race.

Fair elves will display a range of emotions at any given time. They are known for being very capricious. Yet no matter how capricious they behave people still like them for their great charisma and beauty. They sometimes have difficulty getting goals accomplished and typically need others to keep them on task. They accept whatever comes to them and are very good at accepting loss. They are known for being great at witty banter. Fair Elves are known for acting haughty to other elves because of their more attractive physical characteristics. As a result many other elves do not like them that much.

Physical Description
Fair Elves are tall and noble. They stand 6 to 6-1/2 feet tall. They are known for towering over there smaller brethren who sometimes loathe them for that. They weigh between 140-175 pounds. The men are slightly taller than the women, however they share a slim build. Most importantly they are extremely beautiful and have many aspects that both elves and humans consider beautiful. Their most notable difference from High Elves asides from their greater beauty is that the Fair Elves ears are much longer and stick out a bit more to the sides. They have the same lifespan as High Elves and do not need to sleep but still do need to trance.

Fair Elves have similar views of the other races as High Elves however they would never let you know it. Many are surprised when they find out that Fair Elves are actually just as cynical as the other elven races.

Because they are so capricious the Fair Elves are nearly invariably chaotic. However, maybe one in a hundred is neutral and one in a thousand is lawful. Fair Elves typically do not want to cause great hurt and are usually very friendly and helpful and thus usually good or neutral if they are more morally ambiguous than average. Evil Fair Elves exist and are unpredictable and highly sadistic.

Fair Elves share lands with the other elven species however they are more likely to live in human cities than other elves might be.

Like most elves the Fair Elves worship Corellon Larethian. However Fair elves are also known to pay their respects to Olidmarra. Evil Fair Elves might worship Nerull or Vecna.

Fair Elves speak elvish, however, they are not known for their great literature as they are often none too bright.

Fair Elves typically have names like those of the elves however their names are often more focused on beauty. Fairhair, Goldenlocks, and Bright Eyes.

Fair Elves will often join an intelligent other to go questing with in the name of good and peace.

Fair Elf Racial Traits
+2 Charisma -2 Wisdom
+2 Dexterity -2 Constitution
Medium Size
Fair Elf base land speed is 30 feet.
Low Light vision.
Weapon Proficiency; As Elves. Fair Elves also automatically get Weapon Finesse (Rapier) as a bonus feat and automatically start out with a rapier. Rapiers are viewed as highly graceful by Fair Elves and they train their children at it from a young age.
Same racial skill bonuses as High Elves.
Same Languages as High Elves
Favored Class Sorcerer

so tell me what you think of it
is it reasonablely powered?
is it flavorful enough?

2011-03-30, 01:38 PM
can somebody please PEACH this?

2011-03-30, 01:58 PM
You might want to wait longer than 90 minutes before bumping :smallwink:

2011-03-30, 02:01 PM
can somebody please PEACH this?

Usually a lack of comments designates either:

(a) There is nothing to PEACH.

(b) There isn't anything interesting.


In this case it is both. You stayed so close within the lines of what elves were that it's just a High Elf with an extra weapon proficiency and a different stat adjustment.

2011-03-31, 10:45 AM
okay thanks for that
it should be noted i was not trying to be revolutionary and i accept your criticism
im assuming it is balanced then
would that assumption be correct?

2011-03-31, 10:50 AM
okay thanks for that
it should be noted i was not trying to be revolutionary and i accept your criticism
im assuming it is balanced then
would that assumption be correct?

Not all homebrews are created to be interesting for revolutionary. And yes, there's nothing wrong with it.

2011-03-31, 11:22 AM
Ok, so when I PEACH something, I try to cover a few areas:
Originality - Is it unique? It should stand out from the piles of official & homebrew material.
Playability - Does it allow for fluid, engaging, amusing and uninterrupted play at the table?
Balance - Is it balanced enough that it's not going to hold the group back or dominate everything without even trying, both overall and at a given stage in its development?
Elegance - Is the entry easy to read and understand, and free of errors in spelling, grammar or format?
Flavor - Last but certainly not least, does it properly convey the necessary flavor and atmosphere?
Being entirely honest, I wouldn't use your Fair Elf, nor would I implement it in my campaign. In part this is because it ranges from 'not that good' to 'passable' in pretty much every category:

Originality: Not great, here, mechanically. There's a lot of other races out there that can do much the same thing, as far as earned stats and racial abilities. I'm actually fairly certain I've seen much the same thing as a homebrew work with different flavor (and no whip proficiency), going by Sun Elf or Radiant Elf or some such. Flavorwise, it's a little more unique, but I'll cover that in the flavor entry below.

Playability: It has no class features that would slow down the game or make things needlessly complex. Passable.

Balance: Needs work. Essentially, if you want a Cha bonus, there's other monsters who do it better (Star Elf, Spellscale) as far as gaining racial benefits. The whip proficiency really offers no synergy with the rest of the race and there's no fluff to really back it up.

Elegance: Misspellings/grammar errors throughout: "they are often none to bright", "i hope you like it", etc.. Section headings could use bold, section text could be made to stand out with indents or quotes. Some sentences imply incorrect information or could cause confusion: "asides from their greater beauty is that the Fair Elves ears are much longer and stick out a bit more to the sides." (longer, stick out more to the sides? They're taller and fatter?) "Like all elves the Fair Elves worship Corellon Larethian." (that 'all' is troubling as far as implying that every elf worldwide worships the guy. What about drow? I'd reword). It is generally hard to read as a result.

Flavor: The background could stand to be fleshed out. You imply fair elves are disliked by their kindred on account of their height (and presumably other assets), and they're not that bright. How does this impact them? Are they exploited, stereotyped against, or do they suffer as a consequence? What roles do they fill in elf society? Do they form a separate social class? Also, one must remember that elves breed remarkably slowly. How does this impact the emergence of a subrace (it might make more sense to make them an offshoot of a people blessed by a god or some such)? Their favored class is sorcerer, followed by warlock, but to date, every race with sorcerer as a favored class has had some distinct magical heritage to fall back on (and those with warlock as a favored class, I imagine, have some ties to eldritch powers)... what's the magical heritage for the Fair Elf? What's the foundation for that inner font of magical power?

Answering your questions:

is it reasonablely powered?

I do not feel it is. It could stand to have something a little more useful/interesting that also helps sell the flavor.

is it flavorful enough?

I do not feel it is flavorful enough. See the bit after the 'flavor' heading above for why.

2011-03-31, 12:22 PM
thank you I will upgrade it now.

Edit: Do you like it?

Lord Vampyre
2011-03-31, 06:37 PM
It's an interesting twist, but doesn't seemed to flow well.

First, it would be better to have them take a -2 hit on Wis instead of Int, due to their capricious nature. You could then explain they have very few works of literature since they rarely finish what they start.

Second, you might want to consider retaining the standard elven traits of +2 Dex and the -2 Con. These traits suggest the thin frail beauty of the elven race. Coupled with the +2 to Cha makes for a truly Fair Elf with grace and beauty.

Third, I must agree that the whip doesn't make much sense. This is probably because I've never considered it a very graceful weapon. You might consider just taking away the normal elven Weapon Proficiencies, and just giving them Weapon Finesse.

2011-04-01, 04:10 AM
i will do a bit of editing later
Edit: Upgraded