Casting the OotS Movie

[Sarco_Phage]

Rather simple, really. List your cast choices for the OotS movie that will likely never be made. Needs to be at least a little justified, but feel free to go all out. The price tag is no limit.

Roy: The hero, but needs to be convincingly snarky, relatively young, and good looking as well. I think Jamie Foxx could do it, though Will Smith might also be able.
Haley: Scarlett Johansson, perhaps? Needs to be believably agile, but also pretty and capable of pulling off the outwardly-tough but inwardly-insecure role.
Elan: I have no idea. He's incredibly good looking, but he's also childlike. I was going to say "blonde Ryan Reynolds", but Ryan Reynolds could never convincingly pull off the ditz shtick. Someone young, blonde, and English?
Vaarsuvius: Tilda Swinton might be able to pull off the arrogant androgyne thing.
Durkon: is a stereotypical dwarf outwardly. John Rhys-Davies by default.
Belkar: Psychopathic impulse killer. Not really sure about this one. Maybe Ed Norton with special effects.

Xykon: James Woods as Hades matches Xykon pretty well for me.
Redcloak: Not sure about him. Someone young as well, to fit he canon fact that he's technically still a teenager.

[Who149]

I have a good idea who could play Elan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Patrick_Harris)

[Sarco_Phage]

I have a good idea who could play Elan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Patrick_Harris)

Oh god, Neil Patrick Harris would be perfect.

Who would play minor characters, like Hinjo, O-Chul, that kind of thing?

[H Birchgrove]

Elan: Orlando Bloom comes to mind, though I don't know if he could play cloudcuckoolander in a believable way.

Edit: Agreed on Neil Patrick Harris; I have only seen him on How I Met Your Mother and Starship Troopers, though I guess his acting skills would allow him to play a nicer and sillier character.

I somehow think Bloom fits better looks-wise. :smalltongue:

[Le Piaf]

{{scrubbed}}

[TheProfessor]

I don't care much about anyone else, but this movie must have BRUCE CAMPELL!!!!!!!

[MoonCat]

David Mitchell plays Redcloak, and Eric Idle is a cockroach.

[H Birchgrove]

I don't care much about anyone else, but this movie must have BRUCE CAMPELL!!!!!!!

I also want to have BRIAN BLESSED (Haley's dad? Tarquin?), Max von Sydow (Lord Shojo?), Edward James Olmos (Cliffport chief of police?), and/or James Earl Jones (Roy's father or grandfather?) at least as some of the NPC's.

[Valley]

I don't care much about anyone else, but this movie must have BRUCE CAMPELL!!!!!!!

I agree and would even suggest he play Xykon! The jokes, the lectures about power would sound great coming from him. And he did play an evil dead guy in Army of Darkness, so he is use to make-up and battles with dead people in his army and stuff like that.

Oh yeah...he would be perfect!

[Velaryon]

I'm glad to see we've gotten this far without anybody suggesting Samuel L. Jackson for Roy. He's just too old for the role, and would probably make a better Eugene if anything.

NPH would be good for Elan/Nale, but only if this movie were made soon, before he gets any older.

Bruce Campbell as Xykon would be... interesting. I'm not sold on it entirely, but I'd at least be willing to see how it looks.

[Sarco_Phage]

Samuel L. Jackson would be a pretty good Eugene, yeah. Although it depends on how you picture Eugene's voice, and if you think that an aged illusionist would have a body like SLJ's.

[Dr.Epic]

I have a good idea who could play Elan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Patrick_Harris)

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

[Kal Ironfresh]

Elan: Orlando Bloom comes to mind, though I don't know if he could play cloudcuckoolander in a believable way.

Edit: Agreed on Neil Patrick Harris; I have only seen him on How I Met Your Mother and Starship Troopers, though I guess his acting skills would allow him to play a nicer and sillier character.

I somehow think Bloom fits better looks-wise. :smalltongue:

You should see NPH in Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.

[Killer Angel]

{{scrubbed}}

[Zerg Cookie]

SLJ should be Horace, not Eugene.

[Phishfood]

Samuel L. Jackson would be a pretty good Eugene, yeah. Although it depends on how you picture Eugene's voice, and if you think that an aged illusionist would have a body like SLJ's.


I was gonna go with denzel washington.

[factotum]

Karen Gillan to play Haley, definitely! As for Xykon, there's no-one other than Christopher Lee who would have the right voice for that...

[Scarlet Knight]

:roy: Paul Robeson
:vaarsuvius: Tiny Tim
:elan: Jimmy Stewart
:durkon: Dudley Moore
:belkar: George Steinbrenner
:haley: Betty Page
:xykon: Lon Chaney Sr
:sabine: Lena Horne
:thog: Steve Reeves

[MReav]

Xykon would be James Earl Jones because Xykon mentions in a prequel book that he's not that far off from Darth Vader. If we have prequel Xykon then Jeremy Irons.

[factotum]

Scarlet Knight, guessing your version of the movie is the one without much action...considering all the actors you mention are dead? :smallwink:

[Scarlet Knight]

You caught me...:smallsmile:

[Dorath]

If Idris Elba pulls off Heimdall well, he's got everything necessary for Roy.

[Sarco_Phage]

I dunno. Is Heimdall normally snarky and disrespectful? That's kind of Roy's shtick.

[t209]

:roy: Paul Robeson
:vaarsuvius: Tiny Tim
:elan: Jimmy Stewart
:durkon: Dudley Moore
:belkar: George Steinbrenner
:haley: Betty Page
:xykon: Lon Chaney Sr
:sabine: Lena Horne
:thog: Steve Reeves

Dudley moore? He's Dead. Why not Danny devito?
I got one for
:miko: LONDON TIPTON (Less fanatic, More Idiot version of Miko)
:elan: Justin Bieber

[Sarco_Phage]

Dudley moore? He's Dead. Why not Danny devito?
I got one for
:miko: LONDON TIPTON (Less fanatic, More Idiot)
:elan: Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber's pretty enough, but I somehow doubt he could convincingly pull off the ditzy act without grating. CHA isn't just about looks, you know (and in fact, most would argue it has nothing to do with looks at all).

And Brenda Song is both too young and inappropriately typecast to play Miko; I somehow doubt her acting talents could cover the misguided fanatic portion required for Miko's character.

...

I really, really hope you didn't pick Brenda Song because she was the first person of asian ethnicity you could think of. She's Hmong/Thai, bro, so if that was your reason, it was both terrible and wrong.

[Detrinex]

No real actors. Have it be like a pixar movie.

[Sarco_Phage]

That simply brings up the issue of voice actors, though.

[smasher0404]

Thog:Lou Ferrigno (the dude who played Hulk in The Incredible Hulk)

THOG SMASH! :smallwink:

[CarpeGuitarrem]

I think that Andy Serkis could play quite the good Belkar, actually.

[ThePhantasm]

Roy: Will Smith
Eugene: Idris Elba

Haley: Diane Kruger
Ian: Max Von Sydow
Geoff: Gregory Itzin

Elan: Aaron Ashmore
Belkar: Andy Serkis
V: Tilda Swinton
Durkon: Clancy Brown

Nale: Shawn Ashmore
Thog: Michael Clark Duncan
Sabine: Gabrielle Union

O-Chul: Terry O'Quinn
Hinjo: John Cho
Shojo: Jackie Chan
Miko: Reiko Ayelsworth
Xykon: Jack Nicholson (Voice)
Redcloak: Billy Crystal (voice)

Don't know about Tsukiko, MITD, or the others at the moment.

[Sarco_Phage]

You know, I want to shove Dina Meyer in the movie for some reason. She's badass. Maybe even as Lien.

I agree on pretty much all of your choices, Phantasm. Except maybe Diane Kruger as Haley, although it has been established that Haley is unrealistically attractive, like most female adventurers.

Hmmm. And for some reason I want Ken Watanabe to play General Chang in an extended role, for the battle of Azure City. The V/General/Troops vs. Death Knight was one of my favorite parts, because it was unassumingly badass. And nothing spells badass like Ken Watanabe.

[Hazzardevil]

I think I know who would make a good Nale if we find a way to make him look like the actor for Elan, the voice actor for whoever voices Sebastion in the english dub for black butler.

[Sanguine]

James Marsters as Belkar using Special Effects or some sort of Cinematography trick to make him look the right height for the part.

[Valley]

Roy: Will Smith
Miko: Reiko Ayelsworth
Redcloak: Billy Crystal (voice)


First off I picture Roy has having large muscles, so Will Smith and all the others named just seem too thin to me. I picture Miko being played by Yaya Han, who is sexy, looks good in any outfit, and knows how to use a sword.

Billy Crystal as the voice of Redcloak on the other hand really seems to click with me. Not sure why but it fits.

[GFawkes]

I'm surprised these haven't come up yet:

Haley: Elizabeth Taylor (A young version, and a living one:smallfrown:)
V: Leonard Nimoy (Again, a younger version)
Shojo: Christopher Lloyd
Hinjo: Viggo Mortensen
Tarquin: Harrison Ford

[Valley]

Wait, wait! Who would Rich Burlew play? You would HAVE to have him in a scene, just a few seconds, maybe as a dirt farmer or something? Or he gets killed by Belkar?

[t209]

I'm surprised these haven't come up yet:

Haley: Elizabeth Taylor (A young version, and a living one:smallfrown:)
V: Leonard Nimoy (Again, a younger version)
Shojo: Christopher Lloyd
Hinjo: Viggo Mortensen
Tarquin: Harrison Ford

Why you cast Shojo and Hinjo like how Shyamalan did to Avatar: The Last Airbender?

[GFawkes]

Why you cast Shojo and Hinjo like how Shyamalan did to Avatar: The Last Airbender?

I didn't know thats how that had been cast. Those people are just who popped into mind when I compared the character to the actor.

[oswulf]

I would never of thought of Neil Patrick Harris for Elan, but I think he would be incredible.

I also wouldn't have thought of Karen Gillan for Haley. I think she works well visually & theatrically. But I'm not sure about the convincingly super-agile thing. Maybe.

I like the idea of--just for irony's sake--having James Earl Jones and/or Mark Hamil playing Elan's father.

I want to say The Rock has a better appearance for "fantasy fighter" than most, but I'm not sure I quite see it.

I'm playing with the idea of a CGI Xykon with William Shatner doing the voice.

[ThePhantasm]

First off I picture Roy has having large muscles, so Will Smith and all the others named just seem too thin to me.

Will Smith doesn't have large muscles?? Have you seen iRobot?

[H Birchgrove]

Will Smith doesn't have large muscles?? Have you seen iRobot?

He's better of to see Hancock. :smallwink:

[TerrickTerran]

Doesn't help that Will is now over 40 and Roy is supposed to be under 30. I don't have any particular casting choices.

[Sarco_Phage]

Well, Roy's 29, so he's pushing it. Will Smith does look young enough.

[Marillion]

I submit Queen Latifah for the role of Mama Black Dragon.

[Vladislav]

O-Chul should be played by Chuck Norris. I don't really care about anyone else.

[niow]

elan-Michael Cera

[Sarco_Phage]

elan-Michael Cera

He's supposed to be really good looking but ditzy, not "good looking in a geeky way".

[Tanuki Tales]

I'd like to second Xykon being at least voiced by James Wood ala Hades.

[totalnerduk]

I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest David Warner for the voice of Xykon. For those who don't know who he is, take a look at imdb and see just how many bad guys he's played over the last twenty years.

[Tatterdemalion]

Max von Sydow would be amazing as Ian.

[tcrudisi]

Who would Felicia Day play? Let's face it, geek movies require Felicia Day.

Durkon: Nathan Fillion. I can see his no-nonsense attitude being perfect for the part of Durkon.

[Sarco_Phage]

There aren't too many major female characters to choose from. Haley is pretty much it, unless you want her in a more minor role...

On that note, who will play Sangwaan?

[tcrudisi]

There aren't too many major female characters to choose from. Haley is pretty much it, unless you want her in a more minor role...

On that note, who will play Sangwaan?

Actually! Elan's mother would be a great bit part for her to pick up. It's not a major role, but it doesn't need to be. Felicia does great weak characters and most of the females in OotS are strong. (I mean personality, not physical strength.)

[Sarco_Phage]

I just realized who would be amazing as O-Chul thanks to the voice.

Jeremy Irons.

[Valley]

I just realized who would be amazing as O-Chul thanks to the voice.

Jeremy Irons.


YES! Just rewatched The Time Machine (2002) because I enjoy pain and he is the only REALLY good actor in it. Well, besides Alan Young who go a two-bit appearance...

[Bleak Ink]

Haley: Diane Kruger

Geoff: Gregory Itzin

Belkar: Andy Serkis

Thog: Michael Clark Duncan

Sabine: Gabrielle Union


Personally, I put forth my vote for an animated movie, yet I still think those are great live-action casts.

[Seraphem]

Wait, wait! Who would Rich Burlew play? You would HAVE to have him in a scene, just a few seconds, maybe as a dirt farmer or something? Or he gets killed by Belkar?


Why, he gets to be the second most awesome character, That Guy With the Halberd. (O'Chul being the first)

[ZerglingOne]

Because (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=179446) this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118986) thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=165917) has (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=164391) totally (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=151437) never (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=141370) been (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=143267) done (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=121533) ever (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116619) before. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=114233)
Seriously...all I had to do was search Neil Patrick Harris on the forum.

[Sarco_Phage]

Because (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=179446) this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118986) thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=165917) has (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=164391) totally (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=151437) never (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=141370) been (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=143267) done (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=121533) ever (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116619) before. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=114233)
Seriously...all I had to do was search Neil Patrick Harris on the forum.

Yep.

I have to ask, though, is there some kind of arbitrary limit on the number of threads a certain topic can have? Because you seem to be under that impression.

Also, thread necromancy is against forum rules, so we can't just revive any of the othrs. :smallwink:

[ZerglingOne]

True, thread necromancy is against the rules, I'm just surprised there isn't some kind of dedicated thread to this yet. Posting in those isn't considered thread necro. I mean there were literally enough threads to write a sarcastic sentence with.

Edit: It just seems to me that no one ever brings up the fact that these threads have been done a plethora of times, but I swear if you post the only thread on a specific subject that is buried deep within another thread, you get flamed by 6 people.

Oh, and since Xykon would be a CG character in all likelihood, I'd like to see Kevin Michael Richardson doing his voice. (He did Sarevok Anchev in the Baldur's Gate games)

[Morgan Wick]

Edit: It just seems to me that no one ever brings up the fact that these threads have been done a plethora of times, but I swear if you post the only thread on a specific subject that is buried deep within another thread, you get flamed by 6 people.

I think we've all grown used to seeing this topic pop up again on a regular basis and we don't care anymore that there have been a bazillion other threads on it.

[Valley]

If this was CG or anime instead of live action, would you pick different people? I mean, if the voice of the live action actor or actress is just as good, would you try to get them anyway?

:smallconfused:

[NineThePuma]

O-Chul,

I'm sorry, I can't remember who that is. Do you mean the character Samuel L Jackson rolled up for The Giant's campaign?

[TerrickTerran]

If this was CG or anime instead of live action, would you pick different people? I mean, if the voice of the live action actor or actress is just as good, would you try to get them anyway?

:smallconfused:

Of course if it was animated, you'd go with different people, because it would be a lot cheaper to use a handful of voices, and you could actually have everyone instead of people mentioning characters who would likely not appear in a live action film.

[Scarlet Knight]

Enor - Barney

Gannji - the Geico gecko

[Sarco_Phage]

I'm sorry, I can't remember who that is. Do you mean the character Samuel L Jackson rolled up for The Giant's campaign?

No, I mean the character who didn't die like a bitch to a giant shark. :smallamused:

[t209]

No, I mean the character who didn't die like a bitch to a giant shark. :smallamused:

Let me guess.."Deep Blue Sea".

[TheOasysMaster]

No, I mean the character who didn't die like a bitch to a giant shark.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yes!
:smallbiggrin:

You originally suggested Jamie Foxx as Roy...
I'd say hell no to that.
Not only is Foxx kind of a jerk in real life, he's always had a seedy untrustworthy nature to me...
Miami Vice was good, but knowing how he was acting on the set ruins the movie for me...

What about Cuba Gooding, Jr.?

[Sarco_Phage]

The last movie I saw Cuba Gooding Jr. in was Snow Dogs, so I can't exactly comment on his appropriateness D:

[TheOasysMaster]

The last movie I saw Cuba Gooding Jr. in was Snow Dogs, so I can't exactly comment on his appropriateness D:
Very true...
I know Will Smith is good, but I can't really think of anyone appropriate...
Roy is a REALLY original character; an educated, sarcastic, wise-cracking fighter with a sense of duty and honour...

[EpilepticWombat]

Hell to the yes for Terry O'Quinn as O-Chul. Slap a blue beard on him and he's perfect.

I also rather like Viggo Mortensen as Hinjo, even if he's the wrong ethnicity. Something about the actor and character clicks for me, I guess.

Also, what is it with this unanimity on NPH as Elan? I've seen him as Dr. Horrible (and basically nothing else, but that's what everybody's citing) and yeah, he could do both twins very well, I'm sure, but I just can't see it. But then again, stick figures...

Also, I'm new. Hi. *waves*

[Sarco_Phage]

Hello!

Viggo is kinda weathered, though, and Hinjo is presumably Miko and Roy's age or older/younger by a small margin.

[KoboldRevenge]

I say they should just animate Rich's drawings. Thats just how I feel about most movies that start from a animation/cartoon, like they should have made a cartooned Avatar the last Airbender, but as a long movie. It probably would have been better acepted.

[Bleak Ink]

I say they should just animate Rich's drawings. Thats just how I feel about most movies that start from a animation/cartoon, like they should have made a cartooned Avatar the last Airbender, but as a long movie. It probably would have been better acepted.

With Stellan Skarsgård as Tarquin and, quoting a poster on another thread from some time ago, Brad Dourif as Redcloak.

[t209]

How about Gilbert Gottfried (The parrot from Aladdin)?
He could play or cast his voice as Belkar, Yik Yik or Red Cloak!

[stabbybelkar]

George Takei as Shojo. Don't belive me? Read strips 289 and 290 whille imagining it in his voice. That is all.

[Valley]

How about Gilbert Gottfried (The parrot from Aladdin)?
He could play or cast his voice as Belkar, Yik Yik or Red Cloak!

His voice is a tad too cartoonish for Belkar or Red Cloak. Also, not sure anybody would hire him right now.

[t209]

His voice is a tad too cartoonish for Belkar or Red Cloak. Also, not sure anybody would hire him right now.

How about Mark Hamil (Joker/Luke/Fire Lord Ozai)? He sounds villainous!

[Valley]

How about Mark Hamil (Joker/Luke/Fire Lord Ozai)? He sounds villainous!

He has also been in Japanese Anime - well, when they need English voice actors - he has a amazingly wide range of voices.

Mark Hamil as Xykon...Yeah...yeah...I can see it...

[ELC]

Let's see ... if OoTS: the Movie was Animated/CGI ...

Roy:
Haley:
Elan:
Varsuuvius:
Belkar: Reuben Langdon - I don't know about you, but if Dante from Devil May Cry was Chaotic Evil, I could imagine him sounding just like Belkar
Durkon: David Hayter - It really isn't much of a stretch to picture Snake from Metal Gear Solid as a Dwarf cleric ... not sure if he could pull the accent off though.

Xykon: Mark Hamill - Dude played the Joker in pretty much every animated Batman series (including Arkham Asylum). I'd say he's more than qualified to play Xykon.
Redcloak:
"Monster-san":

Will edit in names once I think of them.

[t209]

Let's see ... if OoTS: the Movie was Animated/CGI ...

Roy:
Haley:
Elan:
Varsuuvius:
Belkar: Reuben Langdon - I don't know about you, but if Dante from Devil May Cry was Chaotic Evil, I could imagine him sounding just like Belkar
Durkon: David Hayter - It really isn't much of a stretch to picture Snake from Metal Gear Solid as a Dwarf cleric ... not sure if he could pull the accent off though.

Xykon: Mark Hamill - Dude played the Joker in pretty much every animated Batman series (including Arkham Asylum). I'd say he's more than qualified to play Xykon.
Redcloak:
"Monster-san":

Will edit in names once I think of them.
"Monster-san" should be A black giant from Green Miles or Gilbert Gottfried.

[Welknair]

I haven't seen any mention of Tsukiko here. Who'd play her?

[Sarco_Phage]

You know, I've never really figured her out. She behaves like a teenager, but then so does Elan. And yet she's one of the more powerful antagonists in the strip.

...

The only person coming to mind is, like, Ellen Wong.

[MReav]

Redcloak: Jeffrey Combs!

Note: Jeffrey Combs can also play several other background roles as well. I nominate him for the axe seller at the village, one of Yok Yok's killers, and That Guy With The Halberd.

Monster-San: Someone who can go from menacing to childish and back again in one sentence.

[Valley]

Who would play Rich?

Kevin Costner?

Wha? I assume if we are having a movie we need Rich to do voice over and somebody has to play him? Right?

[t209]

I haven't seen any mention of Tsukiko here. Who'd play her?

Uhhh!! How about Brenda Song? She could be sadistic magician version of London Tipton?

[EpilepticWombat]

Geez, what is it with all these Brenda Song suggestions? I can't see her playing any Azurite. Does she even do anything non-Disney?

[Sarco_Phage]

Geez, what is it with all these Brenda Song suggestions? I can't see her playing any Azurite. Does she even do anything non-Disney?

t209 likes suggesting pop stars for some reason.

[ELC]

Brenda Song ... I know that she's done other things, but I know her as that rich girl from that one Disney show about the twins.

... maybe as "Monster-san", but that's a stretch. I think I'd rather have someone like Helena Bonham Carter for Tsukiko: I think she could pull off the necrophilic necromancer role.

[Sarco_Phage]

Brenda Song ... I know that she's done other things, but I know her as that rich girl from that one Disney show about the twins.

... maybe as "Monster-san", but that's a stretch. I think I'd rather have someone like Helena Bonham Carter for Tsukiko: I think she could pull off the necrophilic necromancer role.

Helena Bonham Carter is like twice Tsukiko's apparent age, though. And English. And not girly at all.

[t209]

t209 likes suggesting pop stars for some reason.

Reason 1: Her character (Rich, Mentally challenged girl in Zack and Cody) is the dimwitted character like Elan!
Reason 2: the same as no.1 except I want to cast her as Miko because of London Tipton's stupidity.

[EpilepticWombat]

But neither Miko nor Tsukiko are stupid. Miko's pretty incredibly delusional, but not unintelligent.

[TerrickTerran]

Actually, Brenda wouldn't make a bad Miko at all. She can easily pull off delusional and can play a role with brains.

[EpilepticWombat]

Can she? I've only seen her in that Disney show with the hotel and that one TV Disney Channel Original Movie. What's she been in?

[Sarco_Phage]

Actually, Brenda wouldn't make a bad Miko at all. She can easily pull off delusional and can play a role with brains.

And she's almost old enough for the part.

[weckar]

Roy: Will Smith
Haley: Anne Hathaway
Elan: Michael Cera
Vaarsuvius: This one is DIFFICULT! Maybe if Tom Felton were a bit older...
Durkon: Peter Dinklage
Belkar: Jason Statham (with effects to adjust for height)

Xykon: Leslie Nielsen (I know he's dead, that's the point)
Redcloak: Jeremy Renner



Ehhhh awful list I know...

[Valley]

Roy: Will Smith
Haley: Anne Hathaway
Elan: Michael Cera
Vaarsuvius: This one is DIFFICULT! Maybe if Tom Felton were a bit older...
Durkon: Peter Dinklage
Belkar: Jason Statham (with effects to adjust for height)

Xykon: Leslie Nielsen (I know he's dead, that's the point)
Redcloak: Jeremy Renner



Ehhhh awful list I know...

May I suggest Leslie Nielsen as Tarquin instead? I think he would have the look, to look like Elan's dad, and the timing for much of the lines that he would have to deliver. We would have to bring him back to life, which would be another PLUS for humankind, because I REALLY liked his work.

Edit: Not too sure about Michael Cera as Elan on the other hand...

Edit-Edit: And I still want Yaya Han as Miko...

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4014/5079134459_18e4784779.jpg

[TerrickTerran]

Leslie has passed IIRC.

[Vladislav]

I would like to humbly suggest Anthony Mackie as Roy and Giovanny Ribisi as Belkar.

[Malfunctioned]

Kevin Conroy, at least in voice, for O-Chul.
Jet Li for Hinjo.
I'm actually considering Lucy Lui for Miko.
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje for Roy. Also known as Mr Eko from Lost.
Seth Green for Belkar.
Jewel Staite for Hayley.
Neil Patrick Harris for Elan and Nale.
A slightly younger Christopher Lee for Tarquin.
David Bowie as V. (Come on, every film needs David Bowie.)
James Woods for Xykon.
Gary Sinese as Redcloak.

That's all I can think of for now...

[Marillion]

James Woods for Xykon.
That's all I can think of for now...
Haaaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I could totally see it. :smallamused:

I wanna suggest Alan Rickman for something, but he's too dour for Xykon
and I don't want to just shoehorn him in.

Also, Ken Watanabe as Soon Kim.

[Thattaman]

I don't give a damn abou the main cast, but we HAVE to have Michael Palin as the polearm guy.

[Raistlin82]

Haley is pretty and kinda sexy, but she's more of a regular young girl with an athletic and fit body, than somebody considered by most the most gorgeous woman in the world. Scarlett Johansson seems like overdoing, and frankly I don't see people buying her "playing insicure".
Tilda Swinton looks like a perfect match for Suvie, though, good find!


Edit: Agreed on Neil Patrick Harris; I have only seen him on How I Met Your Mother and Starship Troopers, though I guess his acting skills would allow him to play a nicer and sillier character.
Dude, if you liked him in those, you have to watch Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog!

On that note... lemme do a themed casting, just for fun:

:roy: J. August Richards (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._August_Richards)
:vaarsuvius: Alan Tudyk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Tudyk)
:durkon: Christian Kane (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Kane)
:elan: :nale: Neil Patrick Harris (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Patrick_Harris)
:haley: Amy Acker (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Acker)
:belkar: Fran Kranz (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fran_Kranz)
:redcloak: Danny Strong (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Strong)
:thog: Adam Baldwin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Baldwin)
:sabine: Bianca Lawson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bianca_Lawson)
:miko: Dichen Lachman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dichen_Lachman)
:xykon: Harry Groener (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Groener)

Story by Rich Burlew

A no-prize to the one who first guesses the director I have in mind.

[MReav]

Story by Rich Burlew

A no-prize to the one who first guesses the director I have in mind.

I'll be honest, I've turned against Joss Whedon in recent years, due to his propensity for bull**** physics defying diabolus ex machinas.

Therkla's death wouldn't be by poisoning. In the fight against the big devil guy, some random redshirt while dying would accidentally fire off a crossbow, in the opposite direction of the fleet, and it would get her square in the chest.

[Raistlin82]

propensity for bull**** physics defying diabolus ex machinas.

Huh? I'm confused.
What plot point are you referring to exactly?

EDIT: I was gonna make names of characters who died in different shows, but then I figured that would be a huge spoiler...

[MReav]

Huh? I'm confused.
What plot point are you referring exactly?

EDIT: I was gonna make names of characters who died in different shows, but then I figured that would be a huge spoiler...

Spoilers for Joss Whedon works:
Tara's death when she was standing in the middle of the room on the second floor against a gunman on the patio with a very awkward angle.

Penny's death in Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Unless you subscribe to the notion that Dr. Horrible died and the ending is his hell, then I am quite curious how he survived unscratched while Captain Hammer, a guy with nigh-invulnerability, was actually injured, and the only other casualty was Penny, who was across the room.

I'll leave Wash's death as less so. Still, I felt that was an unlikely shot given we didn't see any Reaver ships after the landing.

Oh yeah, and given his slant toward authority, I would expect Hinjo, O-Chul, and every other proper paladin to be Miko-lite, rather than the reasonable characters we've seen them be (if they're lucky, they'll only be presented as incompetent).

[SincroFashad]

If the movie was animated, or if :xykon: Xykon was a CG character, then I want Christopher Walken to voice him.

-Sinc

[Raistlin82]

The death of poor Wash, other than elevating the series from extremely good to godly level, is not unlikely at all. We did see that more than one ships were following them, and we had no reason to believe they lost them. It was a big enough deed to just land that thing, in that mess.
Me, for once, I was not fooled by the scene. I was not relieved and I was still tense, because their celebrating moment seemed to come too early, and nobody was checking to see if they were actually safe.
We didn't see the Reavers landing because the crew were (understandably) still too shaken to focus and thus they didn't see them coming.

Penny's death actually makes sense. It wasn't a big atomic-level explosion (one that would have effected the air and blasted in all directions). It was just the gun falling apart, and shooting parts at random directions very fast. So, some were unlucky enough to get hit (Penny and Hammer), while the rest of the few left in the room didn't. Including the Dr (being "close" doesn't mean being on the trajectory of one of the pieces).
On a sidenote, Captain Hammer was not injured. He was whining like a sissy just because he felt pain for the first time, but he doesn't have a single visible scratch on him.

Tara's death... well... you're right, it just didn't make much sense. But man was it satisfying! :smallbiggrin:
But, no, seriously... these things happen in real life. It's not just an aesop against having guns (or against, you know, randomly shooting in the air without looking)... it's just a reminder that these things happen all the time.
Shots are missed, or bullets bounce, and people die.


Oh yeah, and given his slant toward authority, I would expect Hinjo, O-Chul, and every other proper paladin to be Miko-lite, rather than the reasonable characters we've seen them be (if they're lucky, they'll only be presented as incompetent).
Well, you'd just be unfair, then.
His stories are full of reasonable authority, lawful characters putting the chaotic ones in their places.
If anything, Miko written by him would be amazingly well done.


EDIT: that being said... turning against the ridiculous amount of sheer awesome and brilliancy that is Joss because of one or two scene being too unlikely to you seems a disproportionate and unreasonable reaction. I mean, it's not like he's John Woo or something. But unlike anything else I said in this post, that's just my opinion. :smallredface:

/end OT

[MReav]

The death of poor Wash, other than elevating the series from extremely good to godly level, is not unlikely at all. We did see that more than one ships were following them, and we had no reason to believe they lost them. It was a big enough deed to just land that thing, in that mess.
Me, for once, I was not fooled by the scene. I was not relieved and I was still tense, because their celebrating moment seemed to come too early, and nobody was checking to see if they were actually safe.
We didn't see the Reavers landing because the crew were (understandably) still too shaken to focus and thus they didn't see them coming.

Like I said, that one wasn't as bad.


Penny's death actually makes sense. It wasn't a big atomic-level explosion (one that would have effected the air and blasted in all directions). It was just the gun falling apart, and shooting parts at random directions very fast. So, some were unlucky enough to get hit (Penny and Hammer), while the rest of the few left in the room didn't. Including the Dr (being "close" doesn't mean being on the trajectory of one of the pieces).
On a sidenote, Captain Hammer was not injured. He was whining like a sissy just because he felt pain for the first time, but he doesn't have a single visible scratch on him.

I know that Hammer wasn't really injured, but he's nigh-invulnerable, meaning it takes a lot to get through. Meanwhile, Horrible wasn't just close, he was directly underneath. He should have had the barrel ram itself into his face.


Tara's death... well... you're right, it just didn't make much sense. But man was it satisfying! :smallbiggrin:
But, no, seriously... these things happen in real life. It's not just an aesop against having guns (or against, you know, randomly shooting in the air without looking)... it's just a reminder that these things happen all the time.
Shots are missed, or bullets bounce, and people die.

No it wasn't. satisfying, it was bull, no more than convenient way for Willow to go evil. I would have accepted the notion were the bullets enchanted, but with that one it just seemed to go more with the **** you lottery.


Well, you'd just be unfair, then.
His stories are full of reasonable authority, lawful characters putting the chaotic ones in their places.
If anything, Miko written by him would be amazingly well done.

Not really, the lawful ones almost invariably join the chaotic band of ne'er do-wells. Or try and steal free will and murder millions. And Miko would be well-written by him. My gripe is that he would write every other paladin like her. Or make them stop being paladins because they turn Neutral/Chaotic.


EDIT: that being said... turning against the ridiculous amount of sheer awesome and brilliancy that is Joss because of one or two scene being too unlikely to you seems a disproportionate and unreasonable reaction. I mean, it's not like he's John Woo or something. But unlike anything else I said in this post, that's just my opinion. :smallredface:

/end OT

Joss Whedon is overrated. He is amazing at dialog, and I would hire him to do that, but he tends to run out of steam in terms of writing after a few seasons.

I have some other issues with him, but I really don't want to get into a discussion with it on a board meant to talk about a hypothetical film on the Order of the Stick.

[Kato]

Didn't we have the topic already? Or am I thinking of something similar? Whatever...

Since we are talking about Whedon: Would Day for... well, I guess she's not quite the Haley type. Too bad. But NPH as Elan would be great, I'm sure. Maybe even have Fillion for Scoundrel? Though he's not old enough maybe. (I'd like to get a role for Baldwin as well but... Maybe some throw away ogre)

On other notes, there is only ONE MAN ON EARTH to play O-Chul and you know it. And anyone who says different is a heretic to his awesomeness! Come on, he even got the beard for it....

V would be difficult since of course we can't give away the gender. Maybe have a man and a woman play hir and make them switch every scene/cut :smalltongue: Or take someone with a hard to distuingish gender though I can't think of anyone right away.

Team Evil would be hard, too. Walken might be an idea for Xykon but maybe there's someone better. Irons has shown he can do a great hammy villain in the so bad it was good D&D movie. Maybe he's a candidate.
For Redcloak... uh... I'd have to think it through.

It wouldn't be really good but retty funny if they got Wood for Belkar's role, hehe.

[FatJose]

Roy: The hero, but needs to be convincingly snarky, relatively young, and good looking as well. I think Jamie Foxx could do it, though Will Smith might also be able.


I don't know...Imagine Roy's lines in the comic but with a lot more "Woooo!" and "ha Ha!" and "Pssshhh." Also, mandatoory rewrite says he gets it on with Haley (Now played by Jada Pinkett Smith)

Elan would do real well played by NPH. Anyone see Harris in Undercover Brother? And he can pull of Nale...just watch Harold and Kumar.

As for Belkar, Martin Klebba is a good actor, I think he's had martial arts training in something..and he often plays crazy violent types. Oh, and bald...and short...so...yeah. Unless we're going to get into pickydetails like "He's too tall! They could never get him to look a half foot shorter! It's impossible!"

[BlackZaitan]

When someone described Tsukiko I of some reasons though of Megan Fox (Jennifers body)
For Belkar I would love Elijah Wood in it, Not mostly because of Lord of the Rings but I love his part in Sin City! Awesome!
Tarquin: Viggo Mortensen, he even have the right age for me and does even have a son whom are of simlar age as Elan and Nale (Whom are about 22 right?)
I have NO good choise for Roy
But Jeremy Irons for Xykon living and Earl James for him dead would be awesome!
Jet Li as Hinjo perfect too!
Gabrielle Union as Jenny (Belkars fling)
John malkovich as someone! Red Cloak? :D

[martianmister]

Belkar: Justin Bieber

[Bleak Ink]

Belkar: Justin Bieber

*removes glove and smacks someone with it* The audacity.

[Saint Nil]

I would pick Mark Hamil for Xykon. Xykon would have to be CGI (assuming this isn't an animated film), and Hamil has a great track record voicing insane wise-cracking (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_in_other_media#DC_animated_universe) undead sorcerer (http://srmthfg.wikia.com/wiki/Skeleton_King) evil overlords. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender_characters#Ozai )

[Fire]

Chow Yun-fat as O-Chull.

[PerfectPhantom]

Christopher Walken should be in there somewhere, maybe as Xykon?
David Spade, with a bit more violence would be perfect for Belkar
Thinkin maybe Chris Rock as Roy, he has the skin tone and wise-cracking down, but not really the fighter-ness
V: Justin Bieber, lol jk
Ryan Higa (nigahiga) should totally be cast as a paladin, anyone who's seen his videos would agree, especially How To Be Ninja
On second thought, David Spade as Elan, he's got the (apparent) looks down and seems to be rather convincing as an idiot
Antonio Banderas as what's-his-name, the guy who teaches Elan the Dashing Swordsman class, but he seems a bit young for the part
I agree with having Chuck Norris as O-Chul
Who would play the shadow thingy? They'd have to seem young and innocent
Also Zoe Saldana as Julia (Roy's sister for people who can't remember)

[FatJose]

Maybe Michael Jai White (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0925220/) as Roy? He can play serious and be the straight man, he has a sense of humor, I mean the guy did co-create Black Dynamite (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujo1hgQbGr0) and he does his most of his own stunt.
Edit- Oh yeah...He was that guy in the Dao Mo scene (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_HdVrcL7rM&feature=related) in Kill Bill...

[martianmister]

*removes glove and smacks someone with it* The audacity.

It's not so farfetched to think him as Belkar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NaWl8_yfZU

[Kato]

I don't know... it was one of the first suggestions and I don't see what' so wrong with Will Smith as Roy. Okay, maybe it's a bit overcasting but apart from that... *shrug*
I've also been thinking about Lucy Liu for Miko... That is, if we want to got for the Asian cast on the Azurites. (Of course that'd be the one thing ruling Norris out for O-Chul) On the other hand the sticks aren't clear enough to force this on us.

You know who might make a decent Elan if he was dyed blonde? Zack Braff. *runs for cover*

[QuadraticWizard]

I'm part of the Asian-actors-play-Azurites camp, so:
Li Bingbing as :miko:

Right. Leaving now. *ducks out*

[mirageknuckler]

My list is as follows:
Haley: Scarlett Johansson.
Durkon: I agree with whoever said John Rhys-Davies. He fits the role extremely well.
Belkar: Not sure on him. Can't think of a good enough actor.
Elan: NPH for sure.

Hinjo: John Cho.
Shojo: Ken Watanabe.
Roy's mom: Halle Berry.

That's all I got so far.

[Valley]

I'm part of the Asian-actors-play-Azurites camp, so:
Li Bingbing as :miko:

Right. Leaving now. *ducks out*


Well, if I can't have Yaya Han, who knows how to handle a sword and kick butt, and is a model, I guess Li Bingbing is OK. Being that she can act and do voices. At least that is what the net is telling me. She CAN act, right?

[mirageknuckler]

Well, if I can't have Yaya Han, who knows how to handle a sword and kick butt, and is a model, I guess Li Bingbing is OK. Being that she can act and do voices. At least that is what the net is telling me. She CAN act, right?

Quite well. And she has done movies with some combat in them. Watch The Forbidden Kingdom and you'll see.

[PerfectPhantom]

I don't know... it was one of the first suggestions and I don't see what' so wrong with Will Smith as Roy. Okay, maybe it's a bit overcasting but apart from that... *shrug*
I've also been thinking about Lucy Liu for Miko... That is, if we want to got for the Asian cast on the Azurites. (Of course that'd be the one thing ruling Norris out for O-Chul) On the other hand the sticks aren't clear enough to force this on us.

You know who might make a decent Elan if he was dyed blonde? Zack Braff. *runs for cover*

Huh, having J.D. as Elan, that's not really that bad an idea, in Scrubs, he's an idiot who thinks he looks good

[factotum]

Quite well. And she has done movies with some combat in them. Watch The Forbidden Kingdom and you'll see.

Why not Lucy Liu, in that case? She did a reasonable fight scene in Kill Bill vol. 1, at least to my non-expert eye...

[FatJose]

Why not Lucy Liu, in that case? She did a reasonable fight scene in Kill Bill vol. 1, at least to my non-expert eye...

Liu is someone that's a bit overcasted for asian roles in Hllywood but I think it's for good reason. From her work, she can definitely play a humorless knight templar like Miko and I always thought Miko was about Liu's age range. I like Bingbing and I think it'd be better to have lesser knowns who have no established cast type but Miko IS Liu's cast type in several movies. I think Bingbing would fit better for Tsukiko? She's in the right age range, right? I always got the idea that the necromancer was a young lady.

[QuadraticWizard]

I guess Lucy Liu would be pretty good as Miko as well. I think, in Chinese films at least, Li Bingbing tends to be cast as heroines, or at least female leads who are on the northern side of the alignment spectrum, but I could be wrong, and even if I'm correct, she was cast against type in the Forbidden Kingdom anyway.

Also, I heartily disagree with any suggestion involving Justin Bieber or a Disney star that has not done anything besides Disney work.

[Kato]

Roy's mom: Halle Berry.
That's all I got so far.

So... Halle Berry for Sara and (maybe) Smith for Roy... wow, I can read the incest fanfics already :smallbiggrin:

About the Azurites, I've been wondering whether there was a spot for Jackie Chan. I guess he's too old for Hinjo and too young (looking) for Shojo so even if go against my own point O-Chul might be the only choice left (Daigo is of course too young as well)

[TerrickTerran]

Lucy just seems a bit long in the tooth for Miko. Good actress, but she's 42 going on 43 and Miko's supposed to be in her mid 20s.

[jevans90]

Also, I heartily disagree with any suggestion involving Justin Bieber or a Disney star that has not done anything besides Disney work.

I would be highly tempted to cast Bieber as O-Chul. He's doing all his own stunts, naturally.

On a more serious note, I wish I could put Sean Connery forward for Durkon, but he's retired. And 80.

[Fire]

On a more serious note, I wish I could put Sean Connery forward for Durkon, but he's retired. And 80.

And 6' 2"...

[mirageknuckler]

And 6' 2"...

John Rhys-Davies (Gimli) is 6' 1". Movie magic is quite spectacular at times, but he's still too old for the role, I'm afraid.

[luthais]

As far as Elan goes, I honestly think Jensen Ackles (Dean form Supernatural) would be a great choice. Roy would fall somewhere between Will Smith and Jamie Foxx, maybe the guy from the original CSI vegas, can't remember his name right now.

Durkons got John Rhys-Davies written all over him, lol.

[Aurenthal]

ROY: could be Vin Diesel... I mean they both are bold...
Haley: Megan Fox?

[Kaurne]

As far as Elan goes, I honestly think Jensen Ackles (Dean form Supernatural) would be a great choice. Roy would fall somewhere between Will Smith and Jamie Foxx, maybe the guy from the original CSI vegas, can't remember his name right now.

Durkons got John Rhys-Davies written all over him, lol.

Do you mean Lawrence Fishburne or Gary Dourdan? Fishburne is too old for Roy, but I can see Dourdan in the role, no problem. I can see Fishburne as Eugene, though, if he was made to look a bit older. Some of Eugenes snark would fit perfectly for him.

EDIT: Just found out Dourdan got arrested for possession a couple of weeks after he left CSI. Not sure what became of him, but might prevent him from partaking in the hypothetical film.

[Valley]

Haley: Megan Fox?


Megan Fox? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That new girl in Doctor Who would make a better Haley. Hey, wait, she might...what is her name? Karen Gillan!

http://doctorwho.edogo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/500full-karen-gillan.jpg

[Kato]

That new girl in Doctor Who would make a better Haley. Hey, wait, she might...what is her name? Karen Gillan!

http://doctorwho.edogo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/500full-karen-gillan.jpg

Oh Fffffff.... how could I forget to mention Karen? Of course, she'd be awesome for Haley. She's sexy, young, natural redhead... perfect casting. Heck, why didn't I think of that.

[ThePhantasm]

Haley: Megan Fox?

No, because the actress who plays Haley will actually have to act, you see. . . :smallwink:

[Ninjaman]

That new girl in Doctor Who would make a better Haley. Hey, wait, she might...what is her name? Karen Gillan!

http://doctorwho.edogo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/500full-karen-gillan.jpg

Perfect, I guess there will be no more debate about halay from now on.

Edit: Andy Serkis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Serkis) (the guy hwo played Gollum in Lord of the Rings.) might work as belkar, but he might be too old.

[TerrickTerran]

Karen would definitely work for Haley...and has a nice accent to boot.

[EpilepticWombat]

As far as Elan goes, I honestly think Jensen Ackles (Dean form Supernatural) would be a great choice.

...huh, you know, that could actually work. Less mystifying than NPH (which I still kinda see but not quite). If you did something with his hair. He's got a comparatively deep voice, though, not at all how I'd imagine it.

[stabbybelkar]

About the Azurites, I've been wondering whether there was a spot for Jackie Chan. I guess he's too old for Hinjo and too young (looking) for Shojo so even if go against my own point O-Chul might be the only choice left (Daigo is of course too young as well)

Well at least for Shojo that's why I suggested George Takei, he's almost certainly old enough for the part, plus I think it would be utterly hilarious to hear him order the guards to "fetch to royal kitty litter” :smallbiggrin:

[luthais]

Do you mean Lawrence Fishburne or Gary Dourdan? Fishburne is too old for Roy, but I can see Dourdan in the role, no problem. I can see Fishburne as Eugene, though, if he was made to look a bit older. Some of Eugenes snark would fit perfectly for him.

EDIT: Just found out Dourdan got arrested for possession a couple of weeks after he left CSI. Not sure what became of him, but might prevent him from partaking in the hypothetical film.

Gary Dourdan for Roy. Fishbourne would indeed make a good Eugene though. As far as the possession charges, I'd htink Roy would partake of some "herbal remedies" for how much he deals with Elan, lol.

[Thattaman]

I think David Mitchell would make a good Oracle.

[Blackjackg]

Been a while since I've chimed in on one of these, but I don't think any of my opinions have changed much. So I'll just rattle off the ones that I believe in strongly:

Brendan Gleeson as Durkon
Martin Klebba as Belkar
Rene Auberjonois as Xykon
James Hong as Shojo
Richard Roundtree as Horace Greenhilt

I have a few others, but those are the ones I consider practically inarguable.

[twinkletoes]

I think animation would suit OotS best.otherwise they would have to be the Order of the Pretty normal looking people

[Ninjaman]

I think animation would suit OotS best.otherwise they would have to be the Order of the Pretty normal looking people

Voice actors?

[boj0]

Tim Curry as the voice of Xykon? No one? Really?

[Valley]

Tim Curry as the voice of Xykon? No one? Really?

At first I thought you were joking...but on second thought...that may work...hmmmm...:smallamused:

[Marillion]

At first I thought you were joking...but on second thought...that may work...hmmmm...:smallamused:

Well, Tim Curry IS the eater of worlds. And of CHILDREN!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wihDQnkzyMA)

Seriously, he ruined my childhood.