Terrible Fanfiction: My Immortal

[Gaelbert]

I was watching through the Half Life: Full Life Consequences dramatic reading videos on Youtube when I caught a reference to My Immortal. I've heard of MI before, but I believed there was no way it could be nearly as bad as the reports.
Oh my. How wrong I was.
I just spent the last hour reading the entire fanfic and my head hurts from laughing so hard. I just can't stop. From Tara's mangled syntax and spelling, to her constant breaking of the fourth wall, to Tom frickin' Bombadil (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Bombadil) coming out of nowhere, to the the wizards being sent to Azerbaijan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azerbaijan), it is pure comedic gold. And while it is definitely NSFW (IKEA erotica style), I highly recommend it. Link here (http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm). I know I'm a little late to the bus, but how many of y'all have perused this masterpiece?

[Moff Chumley]

I think a good fraction of us have waded through it at some point. I, for one, adore it. :smallcool:

[Jerthanis]

Ah, My Immortal, truly masterful bad fanfiction.

If you liked My Immortal, you'll probably like "Thirty-Hs (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/1/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)", it's kind of the "13 year old boy" version of My Immortal.

Did anyone ever figure out for sure if My Immortal was an intentional parody or not? Thirty Hs is almost certainly one, but I'm still not entirely sure about My Immortal.

[Dogmantra]

Terrible? Were we reading the same My Immortal? I read a well-written piece of literature. I'd go so far as to call it art.

[Turcano]

Also, there's Bennett the Sage's dramatic reading of it on Masterpiece Fanfic Theater:

Part 1 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/15170-ep012a), 2 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/16465-my-immortal-part-ii), 3 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/17728-my-immortal-part-iii), 4 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/19181-my-immortal-part-iv)

[Lurkmoar]

I keep TRYING to forget it, but why does everyone bring it up?! I've already seen that car crash...

The thing that bugs me the most(besides the poor spelling) was that the 'preps' were supposed to be villains. I never recall them doing anything remotely bad. Though, I did stop reading before chapter 12. Pretty sure I got the same experience by slapping my own face for about an hour.

Any goffs here? :smallyuk:

[Dienekes]

I once performed a reading of it for my friends. Truly a beautiful piece of literature with finest characterization and a cast using such witty repartee that it puts the Bard to shame.

Who doesn't get chills when they read Dumblydore's "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHER****ERS?!"

It gets me every time.

[Threeshades]

I think My Immortal, just like HL Full Life Consequences are is a masterwork. Intentionally bad. Although MI covers the fact that it is intentionally the way it is even better than HLFLC.

[Gaelbert]

I keep TRYING to forget it, but why does everyone bring it up?! I've already seen that car crash...

The thing that bugs me the most(besides the poor spelling) was that the 'preps' were supposed to be villains. I never recall them doing anything remotely bad. Though, I did stop reading before chapter 12. Pretty sure I got the same experience by slapping my own face for about an hour.

Any goffs here? :smallyuk:

Snape and "Loopin" are sent to "Azerbaijan" after filming Enoby naked (or something like that). And then later on in the story Snape reappears. The only explanation is that Britney (a prep) busted them out of jail. All of the characters take it in stride. No details are given, nothing. It gives me the impression that Enoby was the decoy protagonist and Britney is the true hero of the story.


I once performed a reading of it for my friends. Truly a beautiful piece of literature with finest characterization and a cast using such witty repartee that it puts the Bard to shame.

Who doesn't get chills when they read Dumblydore's "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHER****ERS?!"

It gets me every time.

Remember? He had a headache. He had a headache you guys. Remember? That's why he was like that. He's totally in character, see now, he doesn't have a headache? See? Now y'all are preps if you don't stop flaming me.

[Ravens_cry]

Ah, My Immortal. Either a troll-fic or a crime against humanity, or both.
It's why the only Fan fiction I read on a regular basis is a Dr. Who fan comic by the writer and artist for Yet Another Fantasy Webcomic.
I did almost finish a Questionable Content fan fic, but never posted it. It's terrible, but at least I left the spell check on.

[Dienekes]

Remember? He had a headache. He had a headache you guys. Remember? That's why he was like that. He's totally in character, see now, he doesn't have a headache? See? Now y'all are preps if you don't stop flaming me.

An excellent attempt, but it's like reading the Sparknotes version of Shakespeare, so much is lost.

"Remember?!?! I SED HE HAD A hedACHE! He had a hedache, ok prepz. Thats da reason he like dat. He totally in charcter, now de hont have a hedach? see? nao all youz prepz stop flamin me, if you flam ur a prep. im nut updating umtil I get 5 good revoiws"

[Gaelbert]

An excellent attempt, but it's like reading the Sparknotes version of Shakespeare, so much is lost.

"Remember?!?! I SED HE HAD A hedACHE! He had a hedache, ok prepz. Thats da reason he like dat. He totally in charcter, now de hont have a hedach? see? nao all youz prepz stop flamin me, if you flam ur a prep. im nut updating umtil I get 5 good revoiws"

Are those her exact words? I seem to remember the spelling to be even more atrocious, with a liberal dose of numbers tossed in.

I really hope it isn't a trolling attempt. Something that sincerely awful has a beauty all its own.

[Athaniar]

There is no way it isn't intentionally awful. It has to be a troll fic.

It has to be, it has to be, it has to be... (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MadnessMantra)

[Ravens_cry]

I really hope it isn't a trolling attempt. Something that sincerely awful has a beauty all its own.

It's like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes verses Plan 9 From Outer Space. Killer Tomatoes was basically riffing off and parodying Z grade movies, while Ed Wood thought he was making something legitimately good and made a z grade stinker.

[Volthawk]

Heh, that's funny. I don't get why Spartacus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spartacus) and Marty McFly (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marty_mcfly) popped up, though.

[Icewalker]

My Immortal. The most painful. So great though. :smallbiggrin:

Personally, I think I like The Metroid Conspiracy: Pasts of the Sin (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3321687/1/The_Metroid_Conspiracy_Pasts_of_the_Sin) even more though. Much shorter, slightly less absurdly painful, and absolutely hilarious.

Distress bacon!

[Gaelbert]

My Immortal. The most painful. So great though. :smallbiggrin:

Personally, I think I like The Metroid Conspiracy: Pasts of the Sin (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3321687/1/The_Metroid_Conspiracy_Pasts_of_the_Sin) even more though. Much shorter, slightly less absurdly painful, and absolutely hilarious.

Distress bacon!

Who the heck is gurbanburdy?

[Dienekes]

Who the heck is gurbanburdy?

I was more confused by the Senatorial Space Communist Republican myself, assuming I actually understood that part correctly, which is probably a stretch.

[Helanna]

Well the plus side is that after watching parts 1 and 2 of Bennett's readings, not a single one of the customers I had today seemed like an idiot.

[Moff Chumley]

Bennet reading was beautiful. :smallamused:

[SiuiS]

Well the plus side is that after watching parts 1 and 2 of Bennett's readings, not a single one of the customers I had today seemed like an idiot.

This may be the best "make the best of a bad situation" I have ever heard of, and now I love you.


Are those her exact words? I seem to remember the spelling to be even more atrocious, with a liberal dose of numbers tossed in.

I really hope it isn't a trolling attempt. Something that sincerely awful has a beauty all its own.

it creeps up on you. You get his sense that all about you are words, floating is some Dominic-Deegan-esque white space, and they tell a story, but whenever you look at any patch of words in particular they just seem wrong. the whole is far, far worse than the sum of it's parts.

And there was someone who claims they co-wrote it as a trollfic, but there are no details they can give which prove it. They may just be rising the, um, "Glory train".

I'm going to go cry now.

[Gaelbert]

What are the Bennett readings of and where could I find them?

Edit: Can't believe I missed that. Thanks!

[Moff Chumley]

Earlier in this thread. :smallwink:


Also, there's Bennett the Sage's dramatic reading of it on Masterpiece Fanfic Theater:

Part 1 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/15170-ep012a), 2 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/16465-my-immortal-part-ii), 3 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/17728-my-immortal-part-iii), 4 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/19181-my-immortal-part-iv)

@V: BAM! :smallamused:

[Thanqol]

Also, there's Bennett the Sage's dramatic reading of it on Masterpiece Fanfic Theater:

Part 1 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/15170-ep012a), 2 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/16465-my-immortal-part-ii), 3 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/17728-my-immortal-part-iii), 4 (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/19181-my-immortal-part-iv)


What are the Bennett readings of and where could I find them?

You may pay me in blood.

[Lurkmoar]

You may pay me in blood.

At least it's not a pound of flesh.

[Thanqol]

At least it's not a pound of flesh.

No thanks, I just ate. :smallsmile:

(Protip: Don't marathon those videos. If you must, don't try and write while listening to those videos).

[Jerthanis]

My Immortal. The most painful. So great though. :smallbiggrin:

Personally, I think I like The Metroid Conspiracy: Pasts of the Sin (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3321687/1/The_Metroid_Conspiracy_Pasts_of_the_Sin) even more though. Much shorter, slightly less absurdly painful, and absolutely hilarious.

Distress bacon!

It's like... someone tried to write Film Noir Metroid while drunk and 10 years old.

[Shmee]

I don't know if its trolling or if it was unintentional, but some lines are absolute gems like:

"Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!"

and the one that made me laugh so hard I woke up everyone in the house

"WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD."

Somebody actually made a webcomic (http://www.drunkduck.com/My_Immortal/index.php?p=605205) of "My Immortal". Its been on hiatus for a while... but still good for a laugh or two.

[Ravens_cry]

Somebody actually made a webcomic (http://www.drunkduck.com/My_Immortal/index.php?p=605205) of "My Immortal". Its been on hiatus for a while... but still good for a laugh or two.
Probably lost too much SAN, reading it is one thing, but turning it into a webcomic means you have to picture it all, and then draw it. I can only imagine how horrifically abominable that must have been for any and all involved, even tangentially.

[Athaniar]

Probably lost too much SAN, reading it is one thing, but turning it into a webcomic means you have to picture it all, and then draw it. I can only imagine how horrifically abominable that must have been for any and all involved, even tangentially.
I don't think even Abdul Alhazred could do it.

[Hawkeye]

I tried to read this car crash but I had to stop after about 2 chapters as my eyes started to bleed >.<

I'll think very carefully before attempting to listen to the reading, don't want to go blind and deaf.

[Gadora]

Out of curiosity, how does this compare to The Eye of Argon?

[Terry576]

Eye of Argon is only readable to me when I have the MST.

My Immortal is always readable, it's pretty hilarious.

[Gaelbert]

Out of curiosity, how does this compare to The Eye of Argon?

My Immortal is far, far worse. Jim Theis at least has a basic foundation of grammar, syntax, vocabulary, and plot. Tara... not at all.

[chiasaur11]

Wait. We're swapping horrible painful fanfics now?

Anyone read Marathon: The Chilron (http://cultofray.net/CHILRON/chilron.html)?

No need to thank me. Just doing my job.

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

This is the perfect thread to show the Playground a Dramatic Reading of My Immortal featuring me and my friend, which I am currently uploading to YouTube!
Chapter 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnwDh7Ta_-4)
I'm uploading the first 11 chapters right now, and will upload the rest shortly.
:smallwink:

[snoopy13a]

I don't know if its trolling or if it was unintentional, but some lines are absolute gems like:

"Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!"

and the one that made me laugh so hard I woke up everyone in the house

"WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD."

Somebody actually made a webcomic (http://www.drunkduck.com/My_Immortal/index.php?p=605205) of "My Immortal". Its been on hiatus for a while... but still good for a laugh or two.

Based on that except, I get the impression that it is intentionally bad as to be a joke. However, it seems that the author is trying too hard. There needs to be a subtle touch when attempting a parody based on apparent incompentence. If it is too obvious, it simply doesn't work.