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Tyndmyr
2011-04-14, 02:37 PM
So, today, my group kicked a player out. Generally trouble, it was a good move in the long run but...it's never fun telling someone that you really don't want him to hang out any more.

How dya all prefer to handle it?

Oracle_Hunter
2011-04-14, 02:40 PM
It depends on why you're kicking them out.

If you're doing it because they're a terrible person, it's easiest to do it in a businesslike manner. "Sorry, I don't think you're right for this game."

If you're doing it because they're a bad fit for your game, however, you can be a little more gentle. "I'm sorry, but I don't think this game is working out for you. I'd be better if you dropped out instead of not having fun every week."

And, of course, be sure to note that you can hang out with your friends without gaming with them - so do that :smallsmile:

valadil
2011-04-14, 02:45 PM
I've only seen it done passive aggressively. One campaign ends and the next one begins, but nobody remembered to tell that certain player. If he finds out there's a new game, it happens to be full, but we'll let him know as soon as there's a spot.

That said, we've never had bad enough experience with a player that it was necessary to kick them out before the game ended. The worst behavior I've seen since finishing college was a player who habitually flaked out. That's the kind of problem that solves itself without group intervention.

Karoht
2011-04-14, 02:47 PM
So, today, my group kicked a player out. Generally trouble, it was a good move in the long run but...it's never fun telling someone that you really don't want him to hang out any more.

How dya all prefer to handle it?

-Start new campaign, maybe of a game the player doesn't enjoy. If he doesn't get the hint, tell him that there is limited room at the table, and all the spots are currently taken.

-Change game location/time, possibly don't tell problem player. IE-Change the game from saturday to thursday, the one day of the week the player can't make it. IE-Don't play at Bob's house anymore, go play at Steve's.

-Change game locations to a house where there are restrictions on the player. IE-The house has many cats, player is allergic.

-Tell player to his face that he's being a douche, try and explain why, but if they're playing the old game of 'but my character (blah blah blah) and thats why I thought it was a good idea to murder that little old lady in broad daylight and directly in front of an epic level 'Head of the Order' Paladin' and are the kind of person who has an explanation for everything, just stop, tell them that there is a major difference of opinion, and no one is interested in dealing with it anymore.


EDIT:
Seconded on Oracle Hunters suggestion.

Typewriter
2011-04-14, 02:53 PM
All my players are military, so I just wait for them to get orders elsewhere :P

Lurkmoar
2011-04-14, 02:54 PM
"It's not you, it's us."

Only had that happen once, and thankfully, I wasn't in charge, so I could drink Mountain Dew and not look at anyone.

Oracle_Hunter
2011-04-14, 02:55 PM
IMHO, never use passive-aggressive tactics like changing the time/place of the campaign. It's bad form.

Likewise, don't kill a campaign due to a single bad Player. Aside from rare situations where the DM doesn't have the ability to kick out bad Players, it's simply better to just tell them they're not wanted - no reason to spoil everyone else's fun.

And, of course, if you don't want to game with someone - don't invite them to your game and don't play in games with the problem player. Simple as that.

Tyndmyr
2011-04-14, 02:59 PM
I've only seen it done passive aggressively. One campaign ends and the next one begins, but nobody remembered to tell that certain player. If he finds out there's a new game, it happens to be full, but we'll let him know as soon as there's a spot.

I've done and seen this done before...but I've swapped over to actually telling them, albeit this is the first time it's come up. Not a great deal of fun, even though the actual email was quite close to Oracle's wording.

Typewriter, yeah we trend heavily military as well...but for some people, orders just don't come soon enough.

valadil
2011-04-14, 03:05 PM
IMHO, never use passive-aggressive tactics like changing the time/place of the campaign. It's bad form.


In theory I agree. In practice, the passive aggressive boot just kinda happens. A game will end. When a new one begins, some players are invited back. Usually these are the players who added to the game. The detrimental players are left behind. No decision was ever made to go passive aggressive instead of manning up and punting someone.

valadil
2011-04-14, 03:06 PM
IMHO, never use passive-aggressive tactics like changing the time/place of the campaign. It's bad form.


In theory I agree. In practice, the passive aggressive boot just kinda happens. A game will end. When a new one begins, some players are invited back. Usually these are the players who added to the game. The detrimental players are left behind. No decision was ever made to go passive aggressive instead of manning up and punting someone.

Fhaolan
2011-04-14, 03:09 PM
So, today, my group kicked a player out. Generally trouble, it was a good move in the long run but...it's never fun telling someone that you really don't want him to hang out any more.

How dya all prefer to handle it?

Usually the problem player disappears for some unknown reason. There's a few interviews with police and the like afterwards, but it blows over.

valadil
2011-04-14, 03:09 PM
IMHO, never use passive-aggressive tactics like changing the time/place of the campaign. It's bad form.


In theory I agree. In practice, the passive aggressive boot just kinda happens. A game will end. When a new one begins, some players are invited back. Usually these are the players who added to the game. The detrimental players are left behind. No decision was ever made to go passive aggressive instead of manning up and punting someone.

Oracle_Hunter
2011-04-14, 03:11 PM
In theory I agree. In practice, the passive aggressive boot just kinda happens. A game will end. When a new one begins, some players are invited back. Usually these are the players who added to the game. The detrimental players are left behind. No decision was ever made to go passive aggressive instead of manning up and punting someone.
IMHO, that's not really passive-aggressive. One game ends and you pick your players to start up a new game. Now, if the Problem Player is your friend, it would be polite to say why you didn't invite them to a given game but otherwise as long as you don't make up some non-excuse like "there's limited space at the table" you're fine.

Now, if someone's ruining a game and you decide to let the game die rather than kick them out... that's a different story entirely.

valadil
2011-04-14, 03:21 PM
IMHO, that's not really passive-aggressive.

In that case we'll call it passive dismissal. I'll agree that there's nothing aggressive about it. Just a failure to renew their invite to the next game.

Tyndmyr
2011-04-14, 03:22 PM
Usually the problem player disappears for some unknown reason. There's a few interviews with police and the like afterwards, but it blows over.

I like your style, sir, but the swamp out back is only so big.

Telonius
2011-04-14, 03:23 PM
I've unfortunately had to do this once as DM. The person in question was constantly late, disrespectful of other people's time, fell asleep during a couple game sessions, and was just generally making an ass of himself. I discussed the matter privately with the non-problem players first, made sure I had everybody's backing, then gave the news to the guy over the phone. Fortunately he wasn't really friends with us at all outside the gaming sessions, so we didn't have to worry about awkward social interactions in the future.

It's never fun, but if the player is truly disruptive, it is better for everybody in the long run.

Karoht
2011-04-14, 03:37 PM
I've unfortunately had to do this once as DM. The person in question was constantly late, disrespectful of other people's time, fell asleep during a couple game sessions, and was just generally making an ass of himself. I discussed the matter privately with the non-problem players first, made sure I had everybody's backing, then gave the news to the guy over the phone. Fortunately he wasn't really friends with us at all outside the gaming sessions, so we didn't have to worry about awkward social interactions in the future.

It's never fun, but if the player is truly disruptive, it is better for everybody in the long run.

wait wait wait wait...
You killed him over the phone? Awesome!

Whoops, sorry. You "gave him the news" *wink wink*. So thats the slang for it these days?
But that still doesn't answer the question of what you did with the body?

Fhaolan
2011-04-14, 04:00 PM
I like your style, sir, but the swamp out back is only so big.

Oh, but swamps are very useful things. My Chemical Engineering bachelors project in University was all about the feasability of artifical wetlands as wastewater treatment facilities. You'd be *amazed* at what a swamp is capable of consuming providing you do some preliminary pre-treatment of the waste material.

The Glyphstone
2011-04-14, 04:02 PM
Oh, but swamps are very useful things. My Chemical Engineering bachelors project in University was all about the feasability of artifical wetlands as wastewater treatment facilities. You'd be *amazed* at what a swamp is capable of consuming providing you do some preliminary pre-treatment of the waste material.

Alternatively, proper care and feeding of the indigenous wildlife. Gators are always hungry.

Solaris
2011-04-14, 04:04 PM
I like your style, sir, but the swamp out back is only so big.

Should get stationed in Wainwright. There's an awful lot of forest and tundra out there.

kyoryu
2011-04-14, 04:32 PM
Had this occur recently.

Myself and the other DM (we co-DM a shared world) met up with the guy for dinner, and explained that while he was personally welcome, certain aspects of his behavior were not. We talked to him about those, how we could help him control them, and explained that we expected to see an improvement, but we did not expect immediate perfection.

He actually ended up improving for a bit, but then left the game on his own anyway :D

I'd probably use this as the template for further interactions of that type in the future.

Yukitsu
2011-04-14, 05:26 PM
All I got are 500 kilometers of plains in every direction, some badlands, and a river that couldn't even float a stick without it getting caught on a rock. So my group gets rid of people the old fashion way, that being, distracting them with other activities that we also play, while the people who are D&Ders play D&D, and ask that they play those instead.

Lord Loss
2011-04-14, 05:28 PM
One campaign ended like this. Albeit, we didn't have to kick him out because he threatened to break my arm (and even grabbed my arm) when I left a book at home and refused to let a player deal 9d6 damage with one of his attacks because I didn't remember the damage. I'm not kidding.

Telonius
2011-04-14, 07:48 PM
wait wait wait wait...
You killed him over the phone? Awesome!

Whoops, sorry. You "gave him the news" *wink wink*. So thats the slang for it these days?
But that still doesn't answer the question of what you did with the body?

Me? I'm the DM. I didn't do anything with the body.

On a totally unrelated note, it's amazing what some people will do for bonus XP.:belkar:

dsmiles
2011-04-14, 07:56 PM
Usually the problem player disappears for some unknown reason. There's a few interviews with police and the like afterwards, but it blows over.I seem to remember a thread where this was already discussed. Something about a player hanging from a door, and Weekend at Bernie's. I dunno, I may have been in a haze that month...

Telonius
2011-04-14, 08:42 PM
I seem to remember a thread where this was already discussed. Something about a player hanging from a door, and Weekend at Bernie's. I dunno, I may have been in a haze that month...

You might be thinking of Lanky's infamous incident (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95189). I believe it holds the record for worst session not involving an actual fatality.