Coidzor has too much jam.

[Coidzor]

So. I was cleaning out the pantry today. And I realized something. I have like 4025 jars of jam for some reason. I examined them closer and they seem to be the results of 4 years or so of my grandma sending jam home with my family every Thanksgiving, and she has some pretty sweet jam so I don't wanna just throw it out.

But I can't really eat all that many peanut butter and jam sandwiches to make a dent in them any time soon, especially with the other jams and jellies my parents have bought because they're like... zombies or something in that they can't realize there's food in the cupboard unless it's right in front of 'em and visible. I swear. They forgot, despite my insistence in reminding them repeatedly, when I put all of the tea out of boxes that were cluttering up the cupboard and put them all into one tin container and decided that rather than look in the tin where the tea usually is to just go out and buy enough tea that the boxes again filled the cupboard completely.

Now, I've heard of jam cake and eating jam with crepes, but what other options might there be other than mass dumping it or dumping it on my friends?

[Lateral]

Spread it on your car and brag to your friends that you've got a 'sweet ride'. :smalltongue:

[LaZodiac]

Sell it to Han Solo esque figures in space minivans.

[Gaelbert]

You can always put jam in your tea instead of honey as a form of sweetener.

[Elder Tsofu]

Maybe donate a few to some sort of home-less shelter? It is not what they most need, but it could be one of the little things that get you though the day...

[grimbold]

Spread it on your car and brag to your friends that you've got a 'sweet ride'. :smalltongue:

yes
this is the best idea ever
you win an internet Lateral

[Lateral]

yes
this is the best idea ever
you win an internet Lateral

Well, thank hyou. :smalltongue:

[ZombyWoof]

Give some to a Jew!
That's a KoL joke.

[Nerocite]

Build a rocket out of it, then launch it into space.

[Lateral]

Enough with the jokes, maybe? Not that I'm one to talk... :smalltongue:

Are you a good cook? There are a million recipes that you can make with good jam. Look some up.

[Private-Prinny]

If there's any sort of gathering coming up, this (http://www.bigoven.com/recipe/168358/baked-brie-in-pie-crust) tastes pretty good. I tend to use about half as much brie, though.

[Mercenary Pen]

Some sponge cakes (e.g. a victoria sponge) will have jam spread between the layers, so that'll be a good way of using some up... and having cake is a good excuse to have friends over even when there's nothing else going on.

[Miscast_Mage]

Seconding spongecakes and donating (some, at the very least) to a homeless shelter. Also, A friend of mine absolutely loves jam on her rich-tea biscuits, though I haven't tried this out for myself so I've no clue what it's like. You could also use digestive or marie biscuits; any plain-ish biscuit would do, I suppose. Jam tarts are another thing to keep in mind. Most of the jam in my house tends to go on toast, so if you're not already doing that, there's another idea.

Just a quick concern; is this jam home-made or store-bought? It sounds home-made, and that may mean that some of the older jars have expired after 4 years or so. It can really vary depending on how much sugar was used; the sugar is what preserves the fruit(kills bactaria through osmosis, if I'm remembering correctly). If store-bought just check the expiration date, I guess.


Spread it on your car and brag to your friends that you've got a 'sweet ride'. :smalltongue:

Bad pun and silliness aside, suggestions like this bug me. Food should not be wasted so carelessly.:smallannoyed:


You can always put jam in your tea instead of honey as a form of sweetener.

Huh, I never actually considered that.:smallconfused: Though I imagine the pips would be annoying in your tea, especially if they pile together at the bottom of the cup. Though that reminds me, I use jam to sweeten my porridge as opposed to honey or sugar. I'm sure there's other things that jam can be used to sweeten as well.

[Erts]

Maybe donate a few to some sort of home-less shelter? It is not what they most need, but it could be one of the little things that get you though the day...

This. It'll be a great gesture.

[Gaelbert]

Maybe donate a few to some sort of home-less shelter? It is not what they most need, but it could be one of the little things that get you though the day...

Do this. Best idea.


Huh, I never actually considered that.:smallconfused: Though I imagine the pips would be annoying in your tea, especially if they pile together at the bottom of the cup. Though that reminds me, I use jam to sweeten my porridge as opposed to honey or sugar. I'm sure there's other things that jam can be used to sweeten as well.

Apparently jam in tea is quite common in Russia. As popular as milk with tea is in Britain. The Internet is an amazing thing.

[Bang!]

It sounds like you're in a bit of a......

......

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...............


......................
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...pickle.

[Coidzor]

Seconding spongecakes and donating (some, at the very least) to a homeless shelter. Also, A friend of mine absolutely loves jam on her rich-tea biscuits, though I haven't tried this out for myself so I've no clue what it's like. You could also use digestive or marie biscuits; any plain-ish biscuit would do, I suppose. Jam tarts are another thing to keep in mind. Most of the jam in my house tends to go on toast, so if you're not already doing that, there's another idea.

Good idea about the tarts. I generally bring something to nosh on for D&D games, and since they just require a bottom crust + baking a jam tart looks like it's not going to be an entire new skillset to learn to do.


Just a quick concern; is this jam home-made or store-bought? It sounds home-made, and that may mean that some of the older jars have expired after 4 years or so. It can really vary depending on how much sugar was used; the sugar is what preserves the fruit(kills bactaria through osmosis, if I'm remembering correctly). If store-bought just check the expiration date, I guess.

Bingo. 'tis Grandma jam for the most part as far as I can tell. ...Not really sure how old it is, actually, but it seems like the results of at least two visits... I had miscounted when I first posted the thread, so there's less than 40 jars of grandma jam, more like 20 and then there's... all of the storebought jam that I didn't bother to count at all because it's scattered throughout the kitchen.

:smallconfused: Parents.


Huh, I never actually considered that.:smallconfused: Though I imagine the pips would be annoying in your tea, especially if they pile together at the bottom of the cup. Though that reminds me, I use jam to sweeten my porridge as opposed to honey or sugar. I'm sure there's other things that jam can be used to sweeten as well.

Yeah, the sweetening idea looks like the best one so far, since my mother does go through a large amount of porridge and generally browbeats someone else into making it for her...


It sounds like you're in a bit of a......
...pickle.

If I had a surplus of those I'd just have a pickle party... or give them to my friend who makes 2-liters of soda and pickles disappear.

[Lateral]

Bad pun and silliness aside, suggestions like this bug me. Food should not be wasted so carelessly.:smallannoyed:
It wasn't really a suggestion. Just a horrible, horrible pun.


It sounds like you're in a bit of a......

......

...........
...............


......................
...........................
....................................

...pickle.



I lol'ed.

[Lycan 01]

Is any of it plum? Any plum jelly? If so, mail it to me. Mail it to me, and know that it went to a good home. In my stomach.

[Dvandemon]

With all the baking ideas, why not start a fundraising bake sale?

[Danne]

Oatmeal! Jam is delicious in oatmeal! Even if you're not that big on oatmeal itself. Blueberry is what I usually do, but I've done strawberry, grape, and peach before, too. Yum!

Also, you said crepes already, but jam and sour cream on any kind of thing pancake-like substance. Spread the jam on one side and the sour cream on the other, then fold it in half and eat like a sandwich.

[Felixaar]

Jam Tarts. Also, that thing about the car.

[Miscast_Mage]

It wasn't really a suggestion. Just a horrible, horrible pun.

I know it was a joke, but some people do stuff like this for little purpose and it just bugs me. >_> I sowwies. Jam cookie for misunderstandings? (Hmm... Jam cookie? Would that work?)


With all the baking ideas, why not start a fundraising bake sale?

That's actually a good idea. You could get a few acquaintances together for this, with the condition that you're providing the jam. You may raise an eyebrow or two when your end result is nothing but jam-related goodies(or not, depending on just how much of this jam you want to get rid of). And it's all for a good cause!:smallbiggrin:

[Gorgondantess]

I once had some peach jam, homemade with fresh, off the tree peaches from a friend that had been sitting in my cupboard for... probably 6 years or so.
Now, this wasn't intentional. I loved that stuff. Best jam you'll ever eat, seriously. But, it kindof got shoved to the back of the cupboard, and forgotten. For 6 years.
So, I'm looking for a spice in the cupboard and find the dusty little jar. Oh, yeah, the jam!
I try opening it, and the top ends up popping off sortof on its own, like a champagne cork- from built up gases.:smallbiggrin:
I give it a whiff, and taste a bit...
And it's better than ever. The stuff had built up carbonation, and it gave it this nice crisp, sharp flavor that went really well with the saccharine sweetness of the jam. I ended up eating the whole thing standing right there in the cupboard.
In retrospect, probably a bad idea, but I didn't get drunk or throw up or anything.
So, if you find any of the jam has become carbonated... just sayin', y'know, keep an open mind.:smallwink:

[Coidzor]

That's actually a good idea. You could get a few acquaintances together for this, with the condition that you're providing the jam. You may raise an eyebrow or two when your end result is nothing but jam-related goodies(or not, depending on just how much of this jam you want to get rid of). And it's all for a good cause!:smallbiggrin:

Well, that would require figuring out a venue and a good cause, otherwise I'd be all over that like flies in balsamic vinegar.

[Danne]

I once had some peach jam, homemade with fresh, off the tree peaches from a friend that had been sitting in my cupboard for... probably 6 years or so.
Now, this wasn't intentional. I loved that stuff. Best jam you'll ever eat, seriously. But, it kindof got shoved to the back of the cupboard, and forgotten. For 6 years.
So, I'm looking for a spice in the cupboard and find the dusty little jar. Oh, yeah, the jam!
I try opening it, and the top ends up popping off sortof on its own, like a champagne cork- from built up gases.:smallbiggrin:
I give it a whiff, and taste a bit...
And it's better than ever. The stuff had built up carbonation, and it gave it this nice crisp, sharp flavor that went really well with the saccharine sweetness of the jam. I ended up eating the whole thing standing right there in the cupboard.
In retrospect, probably a bad idea, but I didn't get drunk or throw up or anything.
So, if you find any of the jam has become carbonated... just sayin', y'know, keep an open mind.:smallwink:

...And this is why you have wings and tentacles growing from your face. :smalltongue:

[Phae Nymna]

Become an alcoholic and mix it into Old Fashioned cocktails
Boil it and tweak it until you have fruit syrup
Give it to friends
Begin eating baked goods at every meal
Make cheesecake and lay down a layer of jam before anything else
Also, top the cheesecake with jam
Sell it at farmers' markets
Send it to me (seriously, PM me)
WAM :smallamused:

[THAC0]

certain jams make great marinades for certain meats.

[Lycan 01]

I'm serious. Is any of it plum jelly? Really, I'd totally be up for some if you have it. :smallbiggrin:

[Coidzor]

^: Sorry, I don't think so.

And if there is, I'm trying it, since I've never had grandma plum jam before.
certain jams make great marinades for certain meats.

They're mostly blackberry with some raspberry and strawberry and maybe some grape and fig as far as I know. I haven't gone through to identify them all yet. Anything that comes up to your knowledge from that.

[factotum]

Bingo. 'tis Grandma jam for the most part as far as I can tell. ...Not really sure how old it is, actually, but it seems like the results of at least two visits...

Generally you can tell when jam has gone off because it develops a nice fur coat--it's not a product that can go off with no visible signs, in my experience!

[Lither]

Put jam in a herbal tea (just check beforehand what's in it - some herbal teas go really badly with jam) and drink it while eating scones.

Kill two jams with one snack.

[Teddy]

Put it on pancakes. It's delicious that way.

[MoonCat]

Give it to a food bank and someone will have a treat to go with their food

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

I suggest... jamming.

[Mercenary Pen]

I mentioned your predicament at home and, it has been suggested that any which is no longer fit for eating could be used for homemade flypaper.

[Coidzor]

I mentioned your predicament at home and, it has been suggested that any which is no longer fit for eating could be used for homemade flypaper.

Just... spread it on some old newspaper or paper and leave it out then? :smallconfused:

[Mercenary Pen]

Just... spread it on some old newspaper or paper and leave it out then? :smallconfused:

Dunno the precise details, but I would assume more or less this... It'll certainly get rid of a number of the smaller insects that go for that sort of thing. Please bear in mind I wasn't given this idea in great detail, I may not have understood it totally.

[Coidzor]

Dunno the precise details, but I would assume more or less this... It'll certainly get rid of a number of the smaller insects that go for that sort of thing. Please bear in mind I wasn't given this idea in great detail, I may not have understood it totally.

If you could get some more details I'd appreciate it as it's definitely intriguing.

[Bhu]

Thre are lots of crockpot or other recipes requiring jam for cooking meat in.

[Asta Kask]

Sell it on eBay and give the money to a suitable charity.

[GrlumpTheElder]

It sounds like you're in a bit of a......

......

...........
...............


......................
...........................
....................................

...pickle.




Hmm, it probably would have been more apt to say 'sticky' situation...

But that works too...

[Manga Shoggoth]

Jam also goes well with vanilla ice-cream (an alternative to sauces).

It also goes very well with rice pudding. In fact in my experience, the more jam in the rice pudding the better...

[VanBuren]

It sounds like you're in a bit of a......

......

...........
...............


......................
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...pickle.




I think this may very well be the most disappointing post I've ever read on the internet.

Well-played.

[aart lover]

let's see...

-goes great on pancakes as a butter substitute
-on waffles for the same reason
-on stuffing as cranberry substitute
-on vanilla ice cream
-in tea as honey substitute
-on biscuits
-on crackers
-i put some on my finger and let my dog lick it, she loved it
-boil and add sugar to attain fruit syrup
-put the syrup from the last hyphen in a mixed drink
-give jars to friends
-or charity
-or something
-that's all i got

[KenderWizard]

I think you should give some away, especially if you have a charity that gives care packages to poorer people in the community who can't afford to give their kids nice foods.

I think jam tarts are great, and super easy. Make a pastry square, spoonful of jam in the middle, fold, pinch edges, bake!


It sounds like you're in a bit of a......

......

...........
...............


......................
...........................
....................................

...pickle.




Love it!

[Nibleswick]

Make Thumbprint Cookies (http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/raspberry-and-almond-shortbread-thumbprints/Detail.aspx).

[VanBuren]

Make Thumbprint Cookies (http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/raspberry-and-almond-shortbread-thumbprints/Detail.aspx).

OhmyGawdIusedtolovethosegrowingup!

[Krade]

I don't really have much to add. I just wanted to point out that the mouse-over text of the first post doesn't show the slash through the 40 and it looks like you said you have 4025 jars. I was like, "How the hell does someone NOT notice that they are accumulating over 4000 jars of jam?" It was really the only reason I came in here...

I'll just be going now...

[Lateral]

Make Thumbprint Cookies (http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/raspberry-and-almond-shortbread-thumbprints/Detail.aspx).

Make homentashen. Wait, those are the same. Never mind.