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View Full Version : [3.5/PF] Crescent Moon, a spiritual and spatial discipline [LoB/ToB, Discipline]



ErrantX
2011-04-27, 11:54 PM
Crescent Moon


http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii99/lythonv66/moon-full-warrior-cartoon.jpg

Richter Saeverius, a Crescent Moon practitioner

As the stillness of the moon reflected upon a still pond, the spiritualist discipline of Crescent Moon is seen as a strange and esoteric art that is difficult to grasp, let alone practice its mysteries. The practitioners of this discipline are said to be ‘half-in, half-out’ due to the fact that they seem to be living in two worlds; this is not far from the truth. Crescent Moon adepts have grasped connections to the Ethereal plane in their mind through intense meditation and spiritual devotion to learning the ways of spirits and the natural world and blended them seamlessly into a martial art so supernatural that it borders on the magical. These connections, albeit temporary, allow the adept to transcend his flesh momentarily to do the extraordinary. Equal parts mysticism, mathematics, and martial art, the Crescent Moon discipline is difficult to master, but its esoteric mysteries provide an undeniable allure to some.

The students of the Crescent Moon learn their arts in solitude and meditation, learning to empty their minds and empty their bodies to utilize the unseen arts of the Moon. A potent yet passive discipline, its esoteric abilities are often not understood but they are feared. Maneuvers include short distance teleportation, ethereal abilities to become incorporeal or use incorporeal touch attacks to strike foes easily, force damage strikes, and the ability to cause foes to become incorporeal themselves. The key skill for Crescent Moon is Stealth, and its weapons are the unarmed strike, quarterstaff, light mace, spear, sickle, and star knife. This is a supernatural discipline.

Author's Notes: This discipline is a highly supernatural one, bordering on magic. The reason for this is because the classes that get it in the Libram of Battle, the Stalker (which is up on SorcererStudios.com (http://www.sorcererstudios.com), or the Blade Mystic (currently in development) have mystical elements to them that harken to the ascetic warrior mystic who is capable of using strange magical abilities. For this very reason, Crescent Moon is recommended for use in your game if you allow such martial magic to exist. If you're more of a "get your magic out of my swordplay" type, then this discipline is not for you. That being said, enjoy.

Compatibility: This was written and designed for use with the Libram of Battle (LoB) which uses the Pathfinder system for its rules base. For use with the Tome of Battle and 3.5 systems, change the class skill for this discipline to Hide and grant its use to Swordsages in place of Shadow Hand or Diamond Mind.

ErrantX
2011-04-27, 11:59 PM
Maneuver List

1st-
Inner Sense - Counter – Spiritual senses grant a +2 insight bonus to a saving throw.
Disturbing Blow - Strike – Make a melee attack against a target; successful strike inflicts a -4 penalty to the target’s next d20 roll.
Dimensional Strike - Strike – For a brief moment, the adept becomes difficult to perceive; resolving the attack against the target as if they were flat-footed.
Leaping Spirit Dance – Stance – This stance grants the adept a +2 to AC and a +2 to Reflex saves.
Spirit Sensing Stance* – Stance – The adept in this stance gains the scent special ability and can use it to sense incorporeal creatures that are hiding on the Ethereal plane are nearby.
Ghost Hunting Blow – Boost – Momentarily grants the adept’s attacks the ghost touch property.
2nd-
Half-Gone - Counter – As an attack targets you, make a Stealth check to become incorporeal to avoid it.
Fading Strike – Strike – Teleport up to your movement speed to an opponent and make an attack.
Cursed Fate - Strike – Make a melee attack against a target, -4 to all d20 rolls for one round.
Resonance Strike - Strike - Strike inflicts 2d6 force damage in lieu of normal damage, and may strike incorporeal creatures without risking a miss chance.
3rd-
Brilliant Moon - Strike - Make a melee attack against a foe, attack ignores armor bonuses to AC and inflicts an additional 4d4 points of force damage.
Formless Dance - Stance – Gain the benefits of a see invisibility spell and mirror image while the stances in effect (swift actions refresh missing images).
Ghostwalk - Boost - Become incorporeal until your next turn.
Altered Remora - Counter - Make an opposed Stealth check opposing your attackers Perception check after their attack roll, if you are successful, teleport to any spot within 10ft away and leave a mirror image to be hit in your place.
4th-
Ethereal Reminiscence – Become incorporeal for one round, regain twice your ranks in Stealth in hit points.
Flicker Strike - Strike – Teleport to strike an opponent flat-footed and then teleport away.
Breath of the Moon - Strike – Make an attack against a target, target must make save or be confused for 1d4 rounds
Fading Leap – As a move action, the adept may teleport to a spot up to twice his movement speed away.
5th-
Twisting Ether – Boost – Switch places within 30ft via teleportation with target willing ally.
Stance of the Ether Gate – Stance – The adept flows with dimensional power and may as a move action teleport up to his movement speed, or as a full round action move up to twice his movement speed.
Warp Worm – Strike – Make a touch attack against up to three targets which must be no farther apart than 20ft from each other, teleport through them inflicting 10d6 points of force damage and appear up to 15ft from the final target.
Essence Shattering Strike – Strike – Make an attack against a target which inflicts an additional 6d6 points of force damage, potentially dazes the target.
6th-
Vaporform Crash - Strike - Make a melee attack against an incorporeal target, if successful the adept becomes incorporeal and the target suffers 12d6 points of force damage and becomes corporeal; the switch in body state lasts for 1d4 rounds.
Phantom Remora - Counter - Make a Stealth check opposing the attackers Perception check, if successful, teleport up to 20ft away and leave behind 1d6 mirror images.
Spiritual Weapon Stance - Stance – While in this stance, the character is treated as having ghost touch on offensive and defensive items and weapons, and attacks inflict an additional 2d4 points of force damage.
Ether Wave – Strike – The adept unleashes a potent wave of dimensional energy as a 40ft cone inflicting 10d6 points of force damage.
7th-
Fade Through – The adept may teleport up to twice his movement speed as a swift action.
Dispersal Strike – Strike - Target becomes incorporeal and takes 12d6 points of force damage, on a failed Will their gear does not become ethereal with them, duration until end of next turn.
Flashing Ether Touch - Strike - Make a melee touch attack against a target, if successful teleport the target up to 60ft away, deal 10d6 points of damage.
8th-
Eclipsing Moon - Strike - As part of a full round attack, you may teleport up to your movement range between attacks, and continue the full round attack, adding +2 to hit and +4d4 force damage to each strike against a target’s flat-footed AC.
Lunar Remora - Counter – When targeted by a spell or effect, the adept may make an opposed Stealth check against the enemy’s Perception; success indicates that the two switch positions through teleportation and the enemy suffers the spell or effect instead.
Anchoring Spirit - Stance – Adept gains the incorporeal subtype; any attempt to teleport into or out of any space within 30ft of the adept automatically fails unless he initiates the effect or willingly allows it.
9th-
Banish to the Beyond – Strike – The adept makes a melee touch attack against a target, and if successful then the foe is banished to wholly to the Ethereal Plane, and they are barred from returning to the Material Plane for 1 day per IL of the adept (max 20 days).

ErrantX
2011-04-28, 12:12 AM
Maneuver Descriptions

1st-
Inner Sense
Crescent Moon (Counter)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Instant

By sensing ripples in the spiritual world around him, the Crescent Moon adept is capable of better avoiding dangerous effects and situations. This counter grants the adept a +2 insight bonus to a single saving throw he makes this round,

Disturbing Blow [Mind-affecting]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Special

By establishing counter-resonance within the spirit of an enemy with a well-placed blow, the adept may disrupt and disturb his next action. The character must make a successful melee attack against a target creature, causing the target to suffer a -4 penalty to the next d20 roll that he makes.

Dimensional Strike
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

By shifting slightly between two worlds, the adept confuses the senses of his foe so he may land his attack more easily. The character initiating this strike causes his foe to be flat-footed to this attack.

Leaping Spirit Dance
Crescent Moon (Stance)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

Light as a feather, the Crescent Moon adept moves gracefully in combat, with the smooth and practiced grace of an incorporeal being. The adept gains a +2 dodge bonus to AC and a +2 perfection bonus to Reflex saves while in this stance so long as he moves at least 10 feet.

Spirit Sensing Stance
Crescent Moon (Stance)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

By sensing the different patterns all beings that exist have, the senses of the Crescent Moon adept exceed that of natural beings and moves into the realm of supernatural awareness. While in this stance, the characters gains the scent special ability and he may detect creatures on the Ethereal plane that are near the Material plane within 30ft of his position.

Ghost Hunting Blow
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 1
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: One round

By reaching across the barrier between worlds, the adept may strike at unbodied spirits as easily he would strike a normal mortal. Any and all of the character’s attacks made this round, including attacks of opportunity, are made as if the character’s weapon possessed the ghost touch property.

2nd-
Half-Gone (Teleportation)
Crescent Moon (Counter)
Level: 2
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Instant

By momentarily slipping through the barrier between the Material and the Ethereal planes, the Crescent Moon adept may attempt to avoid an attack by being incorporeal. The character makes an opposed Stealth check against the attacker’s Perception check; if successful the character is incorporeal for that attack (resolve the attack against the character as normal for striking an incorporeal target). This counter may be attempted to defend against targeted and area of effect spells as well.

Fading Strike (Teleportation)
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 2
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: Up to the adept’s movement speed
Duration: Instant

The adept learns the basic technique at this level for walking between worlds to reach locations that previously could be inaccessible by the mortal world and potentially attack foes at those locales. The character may teleport to a location no farther away than his maximum movement speed as a standard action and make an attack upon an opponent as part of the same action..

Cursed Fate (Mind-affecting)
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 2
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

The adept can befuddle and bewilder his opponent with this strike, causing a grave imbalance in the psyche of the victim. The character must make a successful melee attack against the target and the target suffers a -4 penalty to any d20 roll he makes for one round.

Resonance Strike [Force]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 2
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

By funneling his spiritual power into his attack, the Crescent Moon practitioner may strike an opponent with glowing silvery light on the Material or the Ethereal plane. This strike inflicts 2d6 + primary initiator attribute modifier points of force damage in lieu of normal damage, and this attack may strike incorporeal creatures without risking miss chance.

3rd-
Brilliant Moon
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 3
Prerequisites: One Crescent Moon maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

By partially phasing a portion of his attack out of this reality, the adept may ignore certain obstacles, such as armor, when striking at an opponent. The character makes an attack roll and ignores the target’s armor bonus to AC (unless this armor bonus comes from a force effect, such as mage armor). A successful hit inflicts an additional 4d4 points of force damage from the spiritual power the adept infuses into the attacks

Formless Dance [Glamer]
Crescent Moon (Stance)
Level: 3
Prerequisites: One Crescent Moon maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

The Crescent Moon adept immerses himself into a sort of dimensional flux, causing himself to be able to see what cannot be perceived and be in many places seemingly at once. While in this stance, the character gains the benefits of a see invisibility spell and the mirror image spell with one caveat; when images are destroyed, they do not come back on their own. Dispersed images are restored at the cost a swift action for any and all images that are currently dispersed.

Ghostwalk (Teleportation)
Crescent Moon (Boost)
Level: 3
Prerequisites: One Crescent Moon maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: One round

The character steps through to the borderland between the Material and the Ethereal planes, becoming an incorporeal figure in both realities for a few moments. Until the beginning of his next turn, the character gains the incorporeal subtype.

Altered Remora (Teleportation, Glamer)
Crescent Moon (Counter)
Level: 3
Prerequisites: One Crescent Moon maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Instant

Position is relative to the Crescent Moon adept’s thinking, and his position in the universe is mutable. Using these principles, the adept may circumvent reality to remove himself from harms way when necessary. The character makes a Stealth check opposing the attacker’s Perception check; if successful then the character may teleport to any spot within 10ft away from his current position and leave a mirror image duplicate of himself behind to take the attack of his foe in his place, effectively being struck in the player's stead. This ability may be used to attempt evasions at spells and effects that directly target the character or for those that allow for a Reflex save.

4th-
Ethereal Reminiscence
Crescent Moon
Level: 4
Prerequisites: One Crescent Moon maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: One round

The ectoplasmic nature of beings on the Ethereal plane allows for the Crescent Moon adept to briefly transport himself to that realm and use his will to restore some his form. As a standard action, the character may become incorporeal for one round and restore twice his ranks in Stealth in hit points to himself.

Flicker Strike (Teleportation)
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 4
Prerequisites: One Crescent Moon maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack, movement speed
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant

In a flickering blur of teleportation and movement, the Crescent Moon adept may disappear, blink into existence to strike a foe, and then disappear again to appear a safe distance away. The character may teleport up to his movement speed to a target enemy, make attack against the foe using his flat-footed armor class (denying the target his Dexterity bonus to his AC due to the surprising nature of the attack), then teleport away up to his movement speed without drawing attacks of opportunity.

Breath of the Moon (Mind-affecting)
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 4
Prerequisites: One Crescent Moon maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: 1d4 rounds
Saving Throw: Will (negates)

The moon is a source of madness, so the legend goes, and by using the principles of lunar cycles on the psyche of mortals, the adept may temporarily relieve a target of their sanity for a few moments in combat. The character must make a melee attack against a target creature, and if successful, in addition to damage the target must make a Will save (DC 14 + primary initiating attribute modifier) or be confused (as the spell) for 1d4 rounds.

Fading Leap (Teleportation)
Crescent Moon
Level: 4
Prerequisites: One Crescent Moon maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 move action
Range: Up to twice movement speed
Target: You
Duration: Instant

With nary a thought and a gesture the Crescent Moon adept may flow like moonlight from one location to another through the Ethereal plane, moving faster than his earthly body would allow. As a move action, the character may teleport to a location within twice his movement speed away.

5th-
Twisting Ether (Teleportation)
Crescent Moon
Level: 5
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: 30ft
Target: You and willing ally
Duration: Instant

With a nod to his ally, the Crescent Moon adapt may sink through the world with his ally and switch places with him for better effect in combat. As a swift action, the character may designate a willing ally within 30ft and swap places with him via teleportation.

Stance of the Ether Gate (Teleportation)
Crescent Moon (Stance)
Level: 5
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

By shifting his essence partially into the Ethereal plane, the adept finds that moving through that plane as just as easy as moving through the Material plane. While the adept is in this stance, he may teleport up to his movement speed as a move action, or twice his movement speed as a full round action, at will.

Warp Worm (Teleportation, Force)
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 5
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 full round action
Range: Touch
Target: Up to three targets
Duration: Instant

By creating temporary breaches between the worlds of the Material and the Ethereal, the adept may teleport through a few enemies and emerge from the space between worlds having done his foes great internal harm. The character makes a touch attack against a target, and may jump to another target no more than 20ft from the first (and do the same for a third taget) making another touch attack on each subsequent target and inflicting 10d6 points of force damage to all effected. On a failed attack or after the final target, the adept appears up to 15ft from the final target to finish his turn.

Essence Shattering Strike [Force]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 5
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: Instant, one round
Saving Throw: Fortitude (negates)

With a powerful strike, the Crescent Moon adept attacks at the very spirit of his foe with his silver-blue light. The character makes a melee attack against a target creature, and inflicts an additional 6d6 points of force damage and dazes his foe for one round from the disturbance on a failed Fortitude save (DC 15 + primary initiating attribute modifier).

6th-
Vaporform Crash [Force]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 6
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature
Duration: 1d4 rounds

The Crescent Moon teaches that its adepts must know how to balance the scales between both worlds, so to make a foe real in the Material world, than the adept must briefly sojourn to the other side. The adept makes a melee attack against an incorporeal target, and if successful the target loses their incorporeal subtype for 1d4 rounds and takes 12d6 points of force damage. The adept gains the incorporeal subtype for a like number of rounds.

Phantom Remora (Teleportation, Glamer)
Crescent Moon (Counter)
Level: 6
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal, 20ft
Target: You
Duration: Instant, 4 rounds

To slip through the worlds is a simple matter for the adept, and using this to deceive and evade an attacker is effortlessly done. The character makes a Stealth check against the attacker’s Perception check, if the adept succeeds he is able to teleport to a position up to 20ft away, gain the incorporeal subtype, and leave behind 1d6 mirror images where his previous position lay. Mirror images persist until they are slain or until 4 rounds have elapsed; the character remains incorporeal until his next turn. This ability may be used to attempt evasions at spells and effects that directly target the character or for those that allow for a Reflex save.

Spiritual Weapon Stance [Force]
Crescent Moon (Counter)
Level: 6
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

By channeling ethereal energies along his weapons and his body, the character becomes immersed in both worlds, being as solid on the Ethereal Plane as he is on the Material. While in this stance, the character’s weapons, armor, and equipment are treated as if they had the ghost touch property (ammunition retains the property until used), and his attacks inflict an additional 2d4 points or force damage.

Ether Wave [Force]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 6
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 40ft
Area: Cone-shaped emanation
Duration: Instant
Saving Throw: Reflex (half)

The Crescent Moon adept concentrates his spiritual energies to his hand and tears into the barrier between the Ethereal and the Material, and releases the energies that form from this in a wracking wave of silvery-blue energy. The character unleashes a 40ft cone of dimensional energy which inflicts 10d6 points of force damage to all targets within its area with a Reflex saving throw (DC 16 + primary initiating attribute modifier) for half damage.

7th-
Fade Through [Teleportation]
Crescent Moon
Level: 7
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Twice the adept’s movement speed
Target: You
Duration: Instant

An advanced technique, the Crescent Moon adept at this point learns how to fold two points in space around him to appear at another location within the span of a heart beat. The character may teleport to a location up to twice his movement speed away as a swift action.

Dispersal Strike [Force]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 7
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One target
Duration: One round
Saving Throw: Will (partial)

With a powerful strike and flash of silver-blue light, the adept slams their foe directly into the Ethereal for a few moments, causing them to become ghostly and unreal. The character makes a melee attack on a target creature and if successful, the strike inflicts 12d6 points of force damage in place of normal damage, and the target gains the incorporeal subtype for round. The target must make a Will save (DC 18 + primary initiating attribute modifier) or only his body becomes incorporeal and his equipment does not, falling to the ground at their feet. This strike does not function on targets who already possess the incorporeal subtype.


Flashing Ether Touch [Teleportation]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 7
Prerequisites: Two Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack, 60ft
Target: One target
Duration: Instant
Saving Throw: Will (negates)

With but a touch the Crescent Moon adept may send a foe hurtling through the Ethereal to reappear with frightening velocity to hit the ground. The character makes a melee touch against a target, and the target makes a Will save (DC 17 + primary initiating attribute modifier) or is teleported up to 60ft away, successful saving throw negating the maneuver. Upon a failed saving throw, the target suffers 10d6 points of damage from effectively reaching terminal velocity and slamming hard into the ground. If teleported into the air, consider the character to have already have fallen 100ft. Effects like feather fall halve this damage if used, and characters who are immune to falling damage take no damage from this maneuver, and those who reduce falling damage by increments of 10ft may subtract 1d6 points of damage per 10ft they may reduce falls.

8th-
Eclipsing Moon [Teleportation, Force]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 8
Prerequisites: Three Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 full attack action
Range: Melee attack, movement speed
Target: Special
Duration: Instant

Folding space around his form effortlessly, the adept is capable of leaps through the ether and strike through the barrier of the world in a series of staccato bursts of silvery-blue light and his blinking image as he strikes. As a full attack action, the character may make an attack against a target and then teleport a distance up to his movement speed to a new target to strike again, and each attack is made against the target’s flat-footed armor class. He may do this a number of times equal to the number of attacks he possesses on a full attack action, and he may select the same target for each attack. Each successful attack gains a +2 circumstance bonus and inflicts an additional 4d4 points of force damage.

Lunar Remora (Teleportation)
Crescent Moon (Counter)
Level: 8
Prerequisites: Three Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You and one target
Duration: Instant

It is said that the moon is portrayed in some legends as a laughing trickster, and with this powerful ability, the Crescent Moon adept is capable of pulling an incredible trick upon his foe. The character makes a Stealth check against his foe’s Perception check, if successful he and his attacker switch positions, and the attack that was directed against the adept now affects the attacker. This ability may be used to attempt evasions at spells and effects that directly target the character or for those that allow for a Reflex save.

Anchoring Spirit
Crescent Moon (Stance)
Level: 8
Prerequisites: Three Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

The Crescent Moon adept pulls himself fully into the Ethereal and manifests a ghostly apparition of his form upon the Material, and in doing so he locks his immediate area for travel through the Ethereal plane. While in this stance, the character gains the incorporeal subtype and anyone within 30ft of the adept’s position who attempts to use an effect with the Teleportation type automatically fail unless they are the adept himself or anyone he allows. Once outside of his range, then these effects function normally.

9th-
Banish to the Beyond [Teleportation]
Crescent Moon (Strike)
Level: 9
Prerequisites: Four Crescent Moon maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee touch
Target: One creature
Duration: Special (see text)
Saving Throw: Will save (partial)

The ultimate technique of the Crescent Moon adept is the ability to lay a mark against a target and shunt him gently into the Ethereal plane where he may ponder his reasons for crossing the likes of a master. The character makes a melee touch attack against a target, who then makes a Will save (DC 19 + primary initiating attribute modifier). Failure indicates that the target is shifted fully into the Ethereal plane, body and all, and the target may not return to the Material plane for one day per initiator level of the adept (maximum of 20 days). If the foe has no way to return to the Material plane after this duration has expired, he is effectively stranded. If the target succeeds his saving throw, he is still shunted to the Ethereal plane, but returns automatically to the Material plane after one minute.

ErrantX
2011-04-28, 12:14 AM
A joint work with myself and one of my coauthors that I finished and am placing here for critique on overall form, grammar/spelling, and balance. If you've got a positive or a negative thing to say about it, I would greatly appreciate a reasoning for why you feel that way, and helpful suggestions as to what to do about something if you feel negatively about it. Simply telling me it sucks does me no good :smallbiggrin:

Alright, PEACH away!
-X

ErrantX
2011-04-29, 05:22 PM
...Bueller? Bueller?...Bueller?

Just curious if anyone has any feedback on this.

-X

Agrippa
2011-04-29, 07:15 PM
The capstone maneuver seems a little too "out there" but I can see some more mystical martial artists shunting their enemies off to etherial prisons. I haven't really gotten a great look at it but it looks like an interesting fey, moon-focused or ghostly discipline.

Violet Octopus
2011-05-01, 10:41 PM
Three maneuver-typing errors spotted, and a comment about fluff. Haven't read all of it yet, nor the Stalker, but I like what I see.

Ghost Hunting Blow is listed as a boost, but its writeup says strike.

Twisting Ether is listed as a boost, but has no maneuver type in its writeup.

Spiritual Weapon Stance says (Counter) in its writeup.

Stealth is as decent a fit as any for the discipline skill, though the opening description could spend half a sentence elaborating as to why. "Equal parts mysticism, mathematics and martial arts" suggests Knowledge (arcana) or Knowledge (the planes)* instead, so the fluff just needs that little bit extra to explain the discrepancy. Something like "practitioners rely on Stealth as a key skill to temporarily fade from material existence, and slip through the permeable walls between planes".

*presumably you didn't go with this because neither class that gets the discipline will favour Int?