*!!@&#, or, the DIY householder's rant

[MonkeyBusiness]

Hello, and welcome to my rant. I will be visiting through the day to give updates (read: bleeped out curse words, predominantly) and share my thoughts on the process.

Before we begin, please take some basic safety precautions. Please look around you and note the nearest emergency exits, which might be located behind you. Or through the cat door. Or out a window.

Please also be sure you are wearing your asbestos undergarments (unless you are a dragon, I know we have some of you folk here) and have proper safety gear for your ears. Monkey's screams can be ... shrill.

Okay.

My aged parent owns some residential rental properties. One just became vacant. I have volunteered to rip out the old carpet. I didn't have to do this, and I realize that. But the Old Man is, well, old. His personal current events have been sorely trying. And the refinancing of this rental helped send me to college (half a lifetime ago) to get my BA. So there's a strong sense of filial piety and devotion going on here.

There's also some emotional history. I've worked at this property before, when I was a Sweet Young Monkey, under the "supervision" of my Aged Parent, who was something of a tyrant. Ah, screw it: he was a rage-filled bastard who beat his kids. Things have changed, for the better. (While in college I told him I told him it was time to pull his head out of his rectum. I gave him an ultimatum: to go to counselling or I'd drop out and vanish from his life forever. He took that seriously, and I am proud of him for it. While he still has his Little Ways, he is now reasonably sane, and we get along fairly well.) But ... it was still hard to offer, because past history is like that. So when I offered to rip out the old carpet, it was with the understanding that Monkey Works Best Alone. I think he understood what that meant, and agreed. And I chose today because I knew he's be occupied with other stuff and unable to "check"on me or drop by and offer to "help". so that's fine.

But the A.P. is not what's got me ticked.

I just arrived. The place is trashed.

I am so mad anyone would treat a house this way! Not only is the carpet somewhat sickening ... the roof had at least two leaks. And the tenants never told my father about this! Grrrrrrr!

And although I can't say working here, as a kid, was fun, I took pride in the work I and my sisters and mother (now dead) and dad all did on this house. We might have been a dysfunctional family, but we could still work as a team. And this house represents that.

Gah! Sumbippin bumpusses! Galafrakkin dingbats! Retromingent mugwumps!

<pants> Whew!

So ... not asking for advice, or anything. However, cheers of encouragement, pats on the back, and outraged rants of your own related experiences are all welcome.

You know how it is. A task is often made lighter (at at least rendered slightly less offensive) by complaining and humor.

And now <Monkey rolls up her sleeves> I have a disgusting carpet to vanquish.

-Monkey


.

[Cobalt]

How disgusting? Vomit-in-the-plywood disgusting, or What-happened-to-the-floor disgusting? Is-that-blood disgusting? Wasn't-there-a-roof disgusting?

I once visted a small home infected with Wasn't-there-a-roof levels of disgusting. It was a sad, sad sight, because people stilled claimed to live there. I could only pat them on the back as brave. But that's the lowest ranking on the chart provided; I need solid statistics to properly form a joke for this apparently nasty carpet.

[Tiger Duck]

Yes some peoples just really don't care about their homes.

I remember when we bought this house 5 or so years ago. It was in a poor state, so when we started to break it down the things we found. :smalleek:

They waterproofed the kitchen by stapling garbage bags to the wall.
there were 4 or so false ceilings, every time it got to dirty the just put another one up.
The same must have been done with some walls, one room had 6 different layers before one got to the brick.
A junction box had an electrified mummified mouse in it.
and there were 2 corners where you could just look outside because of serious rips.

The 3 peoples that lived here before us just really didn't care.


But now it looks very nice :smallwink:

[LaZodiac]

Obviously, one way to help releave some stress is find out the name of the tenants, and pass it on to other such establishments. Make them live under the bridge, as it were.

[SDF]

Did they violate the lease? Take pictures then take them to court.

[factotum]

I remember going to view a house where the previous occupants had been foreclsed on by their bank--they'd ripped out the radiators and anything else they could flog off for a quick profit! The estate agent who was showing me round had obviously never seen it before, because he was quite clearly gobsmacked as well...

[MonkeyBusiness]

So I've been working on this for a couple hours now. I have ripped out the carpet and padding in three rooms and the hall. Still have the stairs and the living room to finish. Also have to go back and take out staples and tack strips.

The good news is: the floor underneath, which is hardwood, is in reasonable condition and without too much ridiculous labor can be made to shine again.

The crapet (that was a typo, but I kept it because it is apt) the crapet, I say, is one reeking mess of animal pee. There was an unauthorized pet living here, which I don't really mind as long as it is continent: and this one clearly was not. But it cannot have been here long, or the carpet would be much, much worse.

The other predominant smell here is "Glade" brand spray. It's like they used an entire can per room. It's an agressively floral smell: either Angry Meadow or Flowers With PMS. I'd rather it just smelled like critter pee, frankly, but I have every possible window open, and I can breathe.

But carpet you expect to have to get rid of: it's on the floor, for crying out loud, which is where we keep our feet most of the time. Carpet gets dirty no matter how hard we try to keep it clean, and eventually it becomes "crapet" and we ditch it.

No, it's the three holes in the ceiling that have me ticked off. Obviously the roof leaks, and that is the landlord's job to fix ... but it can't be fixed if the tenant says nothing!!!! Mother farking gottaminga! Why the hockeypuck would you let the rain drip into your child's bedroom until the ceiling sagged and a hole big enough to stick a cat through formed?

If I see the ceiling cat, by the way, I'll tell him you guys said hi. If I pay him in cheezburgers do you think he'll help me fix the roof?

Sheesh ...


-Monkey

[LaZodiac]

I really do think you should get their names and distribute them to every other rental place EVER and ruin their chances of ever getting a home, ever again. It's what I'd do.

[Jack Squat]

I really do think you should get their names and distribute them to every other rental place EVER and ruin their chances of ever getting a home, ever again. It's what I'd do.

The problem though, is that there's land lords out there that just don't care. If you have to rip out all the drywall and carpeting, but can still make a profit, there's those that would take them in. I've heard of everything from the carpet being covered in blood (apparently someone thought it'd be a good idea to field dress a deer in their apartment) to a place being packed with about 4 years worth of trash because the tenants were too cheap to buy a trash bin.

Back when I installed mirrors and shelving, I saw some pretty run down places too, but far as I know those homes were owned, so there wasn't anyone to fix it up before it went on the market. I also remember one place that we looked at for buying to turn into a shop for above mirror business. The walls had had heavy mold damage, and were so waterlogged that if you pushed your hand up against it, you'd leave an easily visible imprint. The asking price? A mere $800,000.



The other predominant smell here is "Glade" brand spray. It's like they used an entire can per room. It's an agressively floral smell: either Angry Meadow or Flowers With PMS.

I know the exact smell. Our bathrooms at work get sprayed with the same thing. :smallyuk: Apparently one of my managers thinks that they don't "smell clean" unless you set off a fragrance grenade in there.

[ZombyWoof]

I think I'm falling in love with Monkey Business... this is blooming hilarious. I mean, sad, and frustrating for her I'm sure... but she has just this wonderful way with words!

[rayne_dragon]

I know the exact smell. Our bathrooms at work get sprayed with the same thing. :smallyuk: Apparently one of my managers thinks that they don't "smell clean" unless you set off a fragrance grenade in there.

But... Flowers with PMS is one of my favourite scents, how can you not like it? :smallwink:

At least they cared enough to try (and fail misserably) to do something about the scent... the fact that they did nothing about the roof leaks astounds me though.

[Orzel]

I once walked in a house to fixe an appliance for the tenant of a friend and had to actively dodge the ceiling.

The hanging pieces of ceiling moved!

And the house smelled of rotten meat scented fabric softener.

And that is why I don't fix things for money anymore.

[userpay]

My parents can relate somewhat to this mess. We're in the process of moving houses (a first for me, not so much for them), and whoever had the new house prior to us apparently had been growing pot without the owners knowing about it. How none of the neighbors didn't figure it out (or just didn't care) is beyond us. Hot house in the back, pinholes all over the walls, the flooring a mess, ect ect. We're putting a significant amount of work into this place to make it decent once more suffice to say.

[MonkeyBusiness]

Monkey is now at home, freshly washed and in clean clothes (oh, it feels so lovely not to have stinky grit all over my body ...) and is quickly putting herself on the outside of a well-earned beer and some dinner!

I am troubled, however, because I can't remember if I left my toolbox on the deck in back, or in the diningroom. I was in a bit of a hurry to finally leave, I guess, and was trying to be careful to lock up the house. Why I cared so much about locking up, I'm not sure: if someone wants to break in during the night and steal a whole bunch of smelly, ripped-up carpet, they are certainly welcome to do so! But I'll probably go back and get my toolbox ... just so I'm not wondering about it all night.

The truck is so full of old carpet and bags of degraded padding that no more will fit. If the truck wore pants, they would have split! First stop tomorrow morning: the dump. Heave ho! I love that part!

Then back to the maison de l'odeur to rip out the remaining carpet (half the livingroom, not too daunting) and the staples and tackstrips and so on. That bit's tedious, but not gruelling. And then mop. Vigorously. "Murphy's Oil Soap" is my new bff.

Thanks to all who posted today. It made me feel less isolated. Capt'n Happy, the story about the "water proof" garbage bag kitchen just cracked me up.

ZombieWoof ... thanks for your kind words. I guess I was "inspired".

Jack, the "fragrance grenade" line is just brilliant! May I steal that?

LaZodiac and SDF, you are correct that the old tenants deserve to be hounded a bit. But this family (it is a family, with kids) has no money. It will do neither them nor us any good to take them to court or even to send their information out to the rental associations statewide.

For all my grousing and name calling, I truly bear these folks no ill-will. I hope they get it together. However, I will still take out the stress by calling them derply durkleswangers on this thread. They'll never know, and it makes me feel better. :smallbiggrin:

Tune in tomorrow!

-Monkey


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[LaZodiac]

Ahh, ok. If it was a family with no kids, or if they had money, I'd hound them alittle. As it stands, I guess it's just unfortunate.

Hope everything goes well Monkey.

[Traab]

as I said in my OP, a hard task is made lighter by complaining

I live by this credo. I gripe moan and sigh about everything. it helps me stay alert and less annoyed overall when im doing stuff I dont want to.

[Kuma Da]

This thread is magical. Subscribed.

[MonkeyBusiness]

Thanks, LaZ! :smallsmile: I'm feeling better. Posting here really did help.

Yes, I feel pretty bad for them. It sucks to be the one to clean the mess ... but the mess is on the outside of me, and it's not mine.

These guys know they made a mess, both of the house and their lives, and I think they feel pretty ashamed. Their mess is on the inside of them. And there's not much that cleans out shame. It's a stain bleach can't reach.

I feel pretty lucky, all things considered.

I also feel ... tired. :smallsmile:

[Katana_Geldar]

Can I say if you don't do something they will likely do it again to someone else.

Some people just don't care.

[Lady Moreta]

Why the hockeypuck would you let the rain drip into your child's bedroom until the ceiling sagged and a hole big enough to stick a cat through formed?

Something similar happened to my parents once in their house. It rains a lot in New Zealand and consequently, most roofs slope so the rain will drain off. Unfortunately, part of the roof of the downstairs living room didn't slope, it was flat and the water was pooling. We had noticed that there was a watermark appearing on the ceiling and the wallpaper was bubbling. Before anyone could do anything about that though, the ceiling collapsed! (fortunately, no one was in there at the time).

Consequently, my father put a false roof over the flat part that sloped down... helps to have builder friends :smallbiggrin:

I feel for you Monkey, that must really suck. I would've come and given you a hand if I could!

[Mkhaiwati]

aaahhh.... Home Ownership. (or rental, or... you get the idea)

We had a leaky roof this last year. We had some people out to repair it last spring, but it just didn't seem to work. So we had a new roof put in immediately before Christmas. Around the dormer on the second floor, the plywood sheathing had rotted on both sides. I am so glad we got that done as we have had bunches of winter snows and Spring rains.

We also removed the carpet to see the wonderful hardwood floors, only to see a layer of 4" x 4" tin squares nailed over the floor in a hallway. Why? no idea. I went into the basement to look up and saw a forest of nails. I removed them, and the floor looks fine (I was scared at what was underneath), but I still have no idea why they covered an entire hallway with them. They liked the sound and used tap dancing shoes? Someone have a very slow day with nothing to do? Was someone's child playing with nails and a hammer? No clue.

The room we just finished had all sorts of problems. The previous owners had put wainscot up, and had attached the electrical boxes to the paneling itself. When my wife removed the paneling, there was a spark and the circuit breaker went off. Why? They didn't use wiring nuts and just twisted the ends together in the boxes. No electrical tape, either. One of the twisted hot wires touched a grounding screw on the outlet and *pop*.

When some previous owners renovated the upstairs, they put the air ducts and plumbing against the outside walls, not an interior wall. Consequently, our upstairs plumbing froze last winter. The upstairs is also hot during the summer, cool during the winter due to the central air being chilled/heated by the outside walls on the way to the upstairs.

My favorite is our dining room window/walls. We have one wall in our dining room that has a bay-style wall (imagine a trapezoid attached to a square for a 6-sided room.) There is a window on each small side of that trapezoid (the other wall has no window). There was wallpaper when we moved in and we wanted that gone and wanted to paint the room. Previous owners had never finished the small walls when they put the windows in. The drywall just kinda stopped and they put wall paper over the gap to the windows. I had to rebuild the walls for those windows.

And we are only halfway through renovating after living here for 5 years. The house was built in 1925, and has had several owners. It seems all the previous owners did half-a#*ed jobs whenever they did anything.

[Katana_Geldar]

When my parents built their new house (going back 20 years now :smalleek:). We had no idea we'd have a major cockroach problem. Worst in the kitchen, but they even made it up to my bedroom which as far away from the kitchen you could get.

Turns out that the house next door, the previous owners had a rangehood that vented into their ceiling space. They did a lot of Asian cooking... Not that I have anything against Asian cooking, I love it but my dad says a trademan who had to get up into that ceiling space said it was the filthiest he has seen. And they weren't able to get rid of all of it, as cockroaches were still a problem five years later.

[factotum]

And we are only halfway through renovating after living here for 5 years. The house was built in 1925, and has had several owners. It seems all the previous owners did half-a#*ed jobs whenever they did anything.

I've been there. Moved into my current house in 2000. At the time there was a sort of cupboard thing in the porch, but the doors on it wouldn't shut properly and there was no lining inside, so I decided to remove it. While doing so I discovered a couple of things:

a) The cupboard frontage had been built on TOP of the carpet--they hadn't even bothered to pull that up before installing it!

b) A piece of newspaper that was inserted down one side as a spacer (clearly at the time the thing was built, not later) had a date on it of 1997. This thing had lasted only 3 years and was already falling to pieces...

Couple of other bits of inept DIY around the place, but nothing as bad as that, thankfully.

[randman22222]

Ohh boy. Now isn't that dodgy territory?

Yeah, on one hand they have no money, which could explain why they never told you guys about the leak in the roof; perhaps they thought it would cost too much to repair. On the other hand, they might have treated the house a bit better, especially given that they may not be able to afford repairs. But then, like you said, carpet will eventually get dirty.

I guess if you have no ill-will towards them, then letting them know that they should have at least told you guys about the leak might be advisable? After all, it'd be better if they know these things, since other landlords might not be so lenient.

Oh. And you have now convinced me to read up a good amount before attempting DIY home improvement in the future. :smalltongue:

[Serpentine]

I really do think you should get their names and distribute them to every other rental place EVER and ruin their chances of ever getting a home, ever again. It's what I'd do.Someone messed up a house, and you recommend ruining their lives forever? :smallconfused: That's, like, the epitome of spite right there. I cannot fathom your cavalier attitude to homelessness.
A more useful suggestion is this: make sure the house is inspected regularly. If your father uses a real estate agent, at least in Australia they're legally required to do an inspection once a year. Also check the lease conditions to make sure they're clear.

[Traab]

The house I live in now was bought entirely because it was the house my mother grew up in as a child. She ignored all the issues like there being no insulation, the wiring that wasnt up to code 30 years ago, the oil stained back yard that nothing would grow in, the crumbling wall around our front door, the leaky roof, the.. you know what? Lets just say its a mess ok?

We have lived here for 15 years and are still working on upgrading everything. We have renovated the bathroom, (twice, the first contractor was a moron) the dining room and kitchen, replaced the doors, replaced the floors and walls that have rotted away due to leaks. But we still have insulation issues, and the wiring is a horror show. I used to work as an electrician as an apprentice, ive done renovation work before. I wont touch this stuff with a ten foot pole. Its cloth insulated wires that are so old the insulation is crumbling off at the slightest touch, I cant identify positive or ground or anything by sight because they are all the same colors, age blackened black, or bare copper thats heavily tarnished with age. The wiring was also setup so oddly that the circuit breaker is the most random thing ive ever seen. On one circuit there is the dining room computer outlet, the air conditioner for the living room, and the tvs for the upstairs bedroom and living room. And I think, our microwave in the kitchen as well. Its hard to recall as we have a mass of extension cords used to divvy up the unfortunate circuit so it isnt overloaded. (When we first discovered the problem we had 2 air conditioners, 2 computers, and 2 tvs on the same circuit that was rated for a reasonable amount of electricity back in 1960)

[LaZodiac]

Someone messed up a house, and you recommend ruining their lives forever? :smallconfused: That's, like, the epitome of spite right there. I cannot fathom your cavalier attitude to homelessness.
A more useful suggestion is this: make sure the house is inspected regularly. If your father uses a real estate agent, at least in Australia they're legally required to do an inspection once a year. Also check the lease conditions to make sure they're clear.

Some clarification. Serpentine, I'm mostly talking about rented out homes. Make it so they actually have to buy a home, so they have more reason not treat it bad. I do admit that it's horrible to do what I suggested, but some people don't learn unless it's the hard way. Note that I wouldn't of suggested that if I knew the situation was that they were a family with kids and next to no money.

As it stands, your suggestion is much better.

[Serpentine]

Arranging it so that someone will never rent a home again isn't teaching anyone a lesson. It's completely ruining their life for no good reason. If you want to teach them a lesson, contact them and explain to them what they did wrong, and keep their bond - as is your legal right (at least here, dunno what other places have).
You really think everyone except the very poorest can afford a house? :smallconfused: I admire your optimism.

[LaZodiac]

Serpy, I'm 19 and a certifiable idiot. This shouldn't surprise you. :smalltongue:

[SilverSheriff]

Serpy, I'm 19 and a certifiable idiot. This shouldn't surprise you. :smalltongue:

The point of the matter is that some people just can't afford to buy. My family falls into the 'Middle Class' bracket and, despite my Father's pretty reasonable yearly salary, it's unlikely that he will be buying a house within the next 10-20 years unless he starts living like a University student again.

[MonkeyBusiness]

Hello and welcome to Day Two of the "Monkey vs Smelly Carpet" face-off. Today promised to be an exciting one, right from the beginning. Although Monkey left the arena last night with a strong lead and a truckful of carpet carcass, Team Carpet had a new player in reserve. I refer, of course, to The Stairs. The Stairs are not only a technical challenge, due to the fact that extra tacks have to be used to anchor the carpet, but a physical challenge as well. It is difficult to pull carpet off the stairs without falling down them. Also, the stairs (thanks to their proximity to the front door) were the favored location for the Unauthorized Animal to urinate. The stairs are a veritable cascade of contaminated breathing space, and they smell like an alleyway behind a bar. Only with Glade sprayed all over them.

Nevertheless, with impressive determination, Monkey returned to the game and took the field. The Stairs are now completely stripped of all carpet, padding, and tackstrips. It was a brilliant play, and Monkey leaves the field victorious once again!

Let's replay a particularly winning moment from today's game: here's a shot of Monkey gripping the carpet with a pair of pliers, attempting to free it from the grip of the tacks that hold it in place:

Monkey: Scut-whomping piece of dinglefarkka! Who put twelve nails in one snark-blasted spot? RRrrgh! Rrr! Rrraargh!

Carpet: Rrrrrrrrrrrip!

Monkey: Ha! Gotcha, ya worthless snorkle-wanker!You try to mess with the Monkey! Take that!

Yes, truly an emotional moment for Monkey.

There were some nasty surprises. Like the discovery that the upstairs toilet had been used one last time by someone after the water had been turned off. Yuk.

But the day is done, and Monkey is now going to have some dinner, and work on polishing the final draft of her paper.

.

[LaZodiac]

There were some nasty surprises. Like the discovery that the upstairs toilet had been used one last time by someone after the water had been turned off. Yuk.

Horrible. Horrible horrible horrible horrible HORRIBLE. Good job braving this horrific incident and kicking ass, Monkey.

[OracleofWuffing]

So, where did you leave your toolbox? Some of us started placing bets while we waited for an update. :smallbiggrin:

Also, I take it from the lack of mentioning that the state of the curtains did not match the state of the carpet?

[Keld Denar]

Monkey, I have 3 words for you and your quest for personal post-disgusting-work hygene.

Orange. Lava. Soap.

Seriously, go buy some right now. Its industrial grade soap with pummice grains in it. It'll take OIL off your hands (along with little bits of your hands...but thats standard). It also leaves them feeling nice and silky soft, a side effect of the exfoliating aspect of the pummice.

We have some in the bathroom down the hall from my office. I scrub with it about once a day when I have to work around the boiler with the ash and grease and other nasty nastiness that one picks up on the skin.

[Mercenary Pen]

This makes some of the DIY botches I have seen sound rather tame by comparison, including the following:

-An Artex wall sharp enough to impale rodents on

-A plasterboard wall in a stairwell where the plasterboard had been stuck on with cement

- A Carport converted to a garage without either a damp-proof course or proper counterweighting of the garage door.

- Live wires sticking out of a hole in the wall

- A fitted kitchen so filthy we couldn't use the cupboards when we moved in until they had been replaced...

- Sewer mains that clogged periodically because a previous owner had flushed filled nappies (americans, read Diapers) down them.

[Thes Hunter]

Thanks, LaZ! :smallsmile: I'm feeling better. Posting here really did help.

Yes, I feel pretty bad for them. It sucks to be the one to clean the mess ... but the mess is on the outside of me, and it's not mine.

These guys know they made a mess, both of the house and their lives, and I think they feel pretty ashamed. Their mess is on the inside of them. And there's not much that cleans out shame. It's a stain bleach can't reach.

I feel pretty lucky, all things considered.

I also feel ... tired. :smallsmile:

Words to ponder and to live by.

Thank you Monkey business for a reminder on how to have a internal focus and take accountability for yourself without taking too much on for others.

[Lady Moreta]

- Sewer mains that clogged periodically because a previous owner had flushed filled nappies (americans, read Diapers) down them.

Oh, I dunno... who in their right mind flushes filled nappies down the toilet?! :smalleek: That's just... ugh...

Monkey, I'm glad you conquered the stairs and not the other way around :smallbiggrin:

[Nibleswick]

Monkey, I'm glad you conquered the stairs and not the other way around :smallbiggrin:

Would that make her the Stair Master? :smallwink:
I just can't resist a pun.

[Sunfall]

As icky as this all sounds, MonkeyB, you have a wonderful way of telling the story! That Angry Meadow and PMS Flowers thing made me crack up :smallbiggrin:

Now, if the smell still is bad, try this: Fresh ground coffee, liberally distributed in open containers around the house. It's what they do when they want to make those rooms where someone died (and, um, stayed a while afterwards) livable again. I've had one of the guys swear that he never found anything better suited to deal with bad smells. Also, if it really bothers you, a bit of menthol balm right under the nostrils does the trick at least for some time (I recommend Tigerbalm - as long as you really don't need that sense of smell during the next few hours, that is).

As to the tenants, maybe they simply were afraid to tell your parent about the damages? Some landlords don't react all that nicely about such 'good' news. Not saying it was a particularly clever or decent move, but it's a motivation to stay silent. Especially if he would have had to come by and take a look while that unauthorized pet was around...

[MonkeyBusiness]

<strikes a pose>

I am the Stair Master :cool:

Thanks, Nibleswick ... that made me smile.

Sunfall, your coffee suggestion is murgelfruging brilliant! The house is spending a day airing out (and so am I, while I finish my semseter project), but if it still reeks on Wednesday ... I'll be trying your suggestion!

Your insight into why the tenants didn't call strikes me as highly probable. It's not uncommon for good people with working brains to suddenly say stupid things and act like jerks, mostly because they feel trapped. It doesn't make "everything okay" but it does help me put my anger aside so I can actually deal with the house.

Thanks for the kudos, Thes! That made me feel good. <beams>

I hope the thread does not get too far OT with suggestions about what "oughtta happen" to the tenants. To me, that's not the issue. Dealing with the mess (which includes dealing with the Aged Parent, who in spite of Improvements is still something of a mess himself) with humor and sanity is what I want to discuss here. Obviously I can't tell people what to say ... but I started this thread to keep myself feeling chipper in the face of a daunting task ... and discussions of retribution and legal quibbles just don't have that effect, y'know?

Oracle, my toolbox was safe. But I will not disclose its exact location unless I get a cut from the bets. :smallamused:

Keld Danar, I like Orange Lava Soap. I wonder if I can spray the whole house in it? Sort of a domicile total exfoliation treatment thing? :smallwink:

Mercenary ... a sewer main full of ... :smalleek: :eek:

<putting that though deliberately out of my mind now ...>

I will be spending my day not at the House Of Mirth but at home, putting the final touches on my Final Paper.

Some of the same expressions as when I struggled with the stairs will be used, I'm sure. <garbledoinking gabbasnerking paper! Rrr! Rrgh!> But I will triumph.

Eventually.

-Monkey

[Kuma Da]

It's not uncommon for good people with working brains to suddenly say stupid things and act like jerks, mostly because they feel trapped.

This.

This is pretty much the world, in a nutshell.

Good luck with your paper, Monkey.

[Trog]

Eep! I just saw this thread. :smalleek: Sounds like a job from hell if you ask me. Nothing worse than animal pee smell. :smallyuk:

*outfits Monkey with a hazmat suit that fires air freshener at regular intervals for any further work in said domicile* P=

*wanders off to sush the neighbors so paper writing can proceed in peace and quiet* :smallsmile:

[Lady Moreta]

Some of the same expressions as when I struggled with the stairs will be used, I'm sure. <garbledoinking gabbasnerking paper! Rrr! Rrgh!> But I will triumph.

I know that feeling. Ahhh it's a good feeling not having to write disertations any more.

You have done a fantastic job making this place even close to livable again. I'm glad that the worst thing we currently have to deal with as tennants is a blocked shower drain.

[Thes Hunter]

<...>

Now, if the smell still is bad, try this: Fresh ground coffee, liberally distributed in open containers around the house. It's what they do when they want to make those rooms where someone died (and, um, stayed a while afterwards) livable again. I've had one of the guys swear that he never found anything better suited to deal with bad smells. Also, if it really bothers you, a bit of menthol balm right under the nostrils does the trick at least for some time (I recommend Tigerbalm - as long as you really don't need that sense of smell during the next few hours, that is).

<...>

Thank you for the coffee grounds tip! I have a odor in my house that I can't track down. It started about the time I used a homemade concoction to combat mealy bugs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mealybug) (nasty buggers) who have taken over my plants.

Though the smell is suspiciously similar to the cat developing a bad habit.... :smallconfused: But so far black light evidence hasn't borne that out.

Anyways, as I continue to investigate the source of the odor it's nice to have something that gets rid of it. I ground up some extra hazelnut coffee I had sitting around getting stale, and 20 minutes later I had to go visit my leasing office. I was pleasantly surprised when I came back and I only smelled fresh ground coffee. Yum!

[Kuma Da]

Though the smell is suspiciously similar to the cat developing a bad habit.... :smallconfused: But so far black light evidence hasn't borne that out.

This is fantastic that you used black light to exonerate the cat. Little guy better toe the line. He's living with CSI. :smallbiggrin:

[Serpentine]

I don't know if I'm just paranoid after the repeated maggot infestations of what, but I keep smelling maggot-rot :smallyuk:
Most recently, it was right in the middle of the kitchen... By "right in the middle", I mean about 5 feet off the ground, a foot away from the benches, with nothing apparently causing it. Sniffing away from that area found no sign of it.

[Sunfall]

MonkeyB, glad I could help, if at least in terms of putting anger aside :smallsmile: How's the house?

The thing about ground coffee is that it does not just cover bad smells, but it kind of absorbs them (those grounds might not smell that good after a few days, Thes). If, and only if the source for the smell is gone, the smell of coffee will eventually dissipate and leave nothing but fresh air. (Baking powder is rumored to to the same, but I've never gotten that one to work for me.)

On a related note: using black light to see cat's urine is brilliant! :smallbiggrin: I wonder if it might work with my doggie's little accidents, too... Hmmm *opens Wikipedia*

Ugh, Serpentine, maggot infestation - that was what brought me to using Tiger Balm for numbing my nose for the very first time. No fun. Hope you find the source (or maybe that it's just some psychosomatic residue).

[Serpentine]

Yeah. Thanks to my darling kitty-cat I also keep smelling cat wee everywhere (some plants, in particular, get me thinking I can smell it).

[Traab]

Makes me glad all my cats were outdoor cats. They never wasted it marking their territory indoors, so no suspicious wee smells. Still working on getting my new dog to give us more than a 5 second window to let him out, or he drops a load in the living room.

[Serpentine]

My cat objects to clothing being left on the floor.
Especially vinyl jackets, which are bloody impossible to clean without destroying them :smallsigh: At least this time it was already pretty wrecked...

[Thes Hunter]

...

The thing about ground coffee is that it does not just cover bad smells, but it kind of absorbs them (those grounds might not smell that good after a few days, Thes). If, and only if the source for the smell is gone, the smell of coffee will eventually dissipate and leave nothing but fresh air. (Baking powder is rumored to to the same, but I've never gotten that one to work for me.)

On a related note: using black light to see cat's urine is brilliant! :smallbiggrin: I wonder if it might work with my doggie's little accidents, too... Hmmm *opens Wikipedia*

Ugh, Serpentine, maggot infestation - that was what brought me to using Tiger Balm for numbing my nose for the very first time. No fun. Hope you find the source (or maybe that it's just some psychosomatic residue).


Baking soda has some effect, but I am leaning towards the coffee being more powerful. Though I will continue to use Baking soda to clean the rugs of smells. :)

From what I understand, the black light works for dog urine as well. There are little hand held ones you can order on the internet for about $15-$25. I found the tip on the internet when I had another cat who had some very bad habits, and I was using it to track down the spots in order for 'pee wars' not to break out between my two cats. (The other cat is long since gone, because I will not tolerate that kind of behavior).

And I will try to keep the Tiger balm tip in mind... as of right now I do not believe I am going into pathology, but there is an elective rotation I can take in forensic path... and our county is rather underfunded, so the morgue is packed floor to ceiling in some spots with 'drop offs', so the air isn't too pleasant. Though when I visited I was assured that the smell came more from the 'Green Man' who had taken his family several days to find him.